A KHAN JOB [2005]

In which "Barrister Sanjay Khan" loses his temper, his Indian accent, and his prize.
At the end he breaks down and tells us what he really thinks of us,
not once, but twice.
Thanks for providing amusement to all our colleagues and readers with actual ethnic connections to the Indian sub-continent.

There really are Lads operating out of India and Pakistan BTW:
Nigerian scam gets Indian address : Africa Master Web article : Busted in Pakistan : Busted in Pakistan again

It makes sense. If Europe gets too hot for the Lads, India looks a good second.
Not far from Africa; English spoken here; more wired by the minute - and Indian food!

In order of appearance:
Jonathan Caru - first-tier scammer
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE - of the Foreign Office
Barrister Sanjay Khan - possibly Caru's boss - but not exactly oga material
Agent Mikhail Stroganov - of the Foreign Office and other agencies we are not at liberty to name


Jonathan Caru

jonathancaru@albawaba.com:

Dearest Lady Agatha Bristol,
Greetings to you in the name of the Lord Jesus, I am sorry for myself that I have lived a life that has left me so empty inside.It is very sad that I don't have loved ones that care enough to carry out my last wishes, and that my health is failing me.We know not what tomorrow brings Although we plan ahead for only God alone knows The pathway we must tread. We cannot know the future Not one second nor minute or hour each circumstance that we must face...

Lay only in His power.ItŐs vital that we live by faith From minute unto minute and trusting that each step we take He's walking with us in it. We know not what tomorrow brings We cannot see the future Nor the trials we must face but in all things, God promised us Sufficiency of grace. I will like to put this to you that, after the experience I had with my family, I decided not to trust any one but God, and it is the will of God that I made a random search to seek for a God fearing person, which I found you.

In his sweet, loving hands. You will distribute the funds to any charity organizations of your choice; the lawyer is only going to assist you with his knowledge in getting the funds out from the security company and providing you with the necessary documents to claim the funds with no risk involved, it is 100% risk free.

I am going to write an Application on your behalf to the Finance Company so that they can start processing the donations. You on the otherhand should try and get in touch with my attorney,Barrister Sanjay Khan in INDIA as soon as possible via mail or telephone calls,I am very sick Please send the lawyer direct contact telephone number and fax to enable him open communication with you on how to proceed and secure the funds.

My relatives aint making things easy for me and i am getting weaker by the day.I am just praying and believing on God to intervene in my case.Please keep praying for me and do get back to me when you get words from the lawyer.

Hon. hon. sanjay khan
Sanjay Khan & Associates Chambers
22 bandra lane, crossroads complex
Tel:+919833252901,
FaX:+919833252660
Email:sanjay_associateschambers@yahoo.co.in

May God's mercy and blessings be upon your soul.
Jonathan Caru


Lady Agatha Bristol

May 30

Dear Sir,
Your rather florid prose has left us rather puzzled as to how we can assist you.

Have you been drinking?

Yours ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London


Jonathan Caru

Dear Sister Agatha Bristol,

Almighty God guide and protect you through all your words and thoughts towards this project commencements and easy completions.

I heard all you have said but reminding you that my condition and present situations do not allow me drinking or anyother social activity.

All i need from you is your trust and sincerity for this transaction documents to be prepared by the lawyer and effective transfer.

Do ensure you contact the lawyer ASAP so that all necessary preparations are made for easy transfer of funds.

Await your response,
God Bless you.
Jonathan Caru

["Jonathan" included some sad (and all too familiar) photographs of hospital patients from the Scammers' Stock Photo Service.]


Lady Agatha Bristol

My dear Caru,
Thank you for your note.

Please address me as Lady Agatha. The pictures, whilst interesting, do not add any substance to your claim.

Do you have any documentary evidence that relates directly to your proposal?

Yours ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London


Jonathan Caru

Dear Lady Agatha,

Almighty God guide and protect you through all your endeavours and thoughts towards this project completion and suceessions.

All evidents backing up this project are presently in position with the lawyer which i hve asked you to contact for effective preparations and transfer.

Do ensure you contact the lawyer for futher commencements.

Await your response,
God Bless You,
Jonathan Caru


Lady Agatha Bristol

June 1

My dear Caru,

Thank you for your note.

Once we receive the proof of this claim, we can then move on.

Thank you for your patience.

Yours ever,

Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE

Jonathan Caru

Dear Agatha Bristol,

Almighty God guide and protect you.

Immediately you contact the lawyer and have words from him do update me with all futher modalities.

Await your response,
Jonathan Caru


Lady Agatha Bristol

June 2

My dear Caru,
Please address me as Lady Agatha.

It is all very well for you to talk about modalities, old chap. We have our own modalities to discuss. Do you know who I am?

Yours,

Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London


Jonathan Caru

Dear Lady Agatha,

I am not in this project so that you call me names but rather to bring humanity and a joyful and happy mode.

What is the role of your words in your modalities will in enforced in this project.

Do get back to me and have your willingness and readiness made much emphazised so that i understand the situation of this project.

Await your response,
God Bless you,
Jonathan Caru


Lady Agatha Bristol

June 3

My dear Caru,

Thank you for your note.

I was merely trying to ascertain that we need some evidence to support your claims.

I am Head of Special Operations at Her Majesty's Foreign Office. We look after Her Majesty's Government's interests at home and abroad.

That is why we need secrecy, and the need for absolute confidentiality.

Think about this and get back to me.


Jonathan Caru

Dear Lady Agatha Bristol,

Almighty God guide and protect you through all your beliefs and endeavours through your life.

I understand all you said because i know all claims and facts which are documents binding on this project are presently with the lawyer which he will send to you as soon as you contact him for futher commencement which will prove your willingness in this project.

Due to all outstandng situations the project will be kept secretive and confidential due to your job duty.

Do contact the lawyer so that all documents will be prepared and sent down to you because i have already sent him a mail to write an application to the company for a change of ownership so that the funds can be easily transfered.

Await your response,
God Bless you,
Jonathan caru


Lady Agatha Bristol

June 3

My dear Caru,
Thank you for your note.

Very well. Please forward the lawyer's details and I shall contact him personally.


Jonathan Caru

Dear Lady Agatha Bristol,

I had sent this to you before now but nevertheless here is the lawyer's contact.

Hon. sanjay khan
Sanjay Khan & Associates Chambers
22 bandra lane, crossroads complex
Tel:+919833252901
FaX:+919833252660
Email:sanjay_associateschambers@yahoo.co.in

May God's mercy and blessings be upon your soul. Jonathan Caru


Lady Agatha Bristol

June 4

My dear Caru,
Thank you for your note.

Do you wish me to copy you into any e-mails?


Jonathan Caru

Dear Lady Agatha Bristol,

Thanks for your mail.

Sure to really know the update of the project.

Await your response,
God Bless you,
Jonathan Caru


Lady Agatha Bristol

June 5

My dear Caru,
Thank you for your note.

Very well. I shall contact your chappie immediately.


Lady Agatha Bristol

Dear Mr. Khan,

Mr. Caru has asked me to contact you vis-a-vis a fund transfer.

Are you the correct person?

Yours ever,

Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London


Jonathan Caru

Dear Lady Agatha Bristol,

Almighty God guide and protect you through all your deeds for the rest of your life.

All my life i have ever dreamed of helping and making sad people putting on a smiling face,propagating and making people to know the right they have in the world.

Hence i have prayed to Almighty God to direct me to whom will help me retrieve these donation from the company where they have been deposited.

Ensuring all necessary trust and sincerity in you,i would like you to understand that God watches all your deeds,please let me confide in you to help me carry out this project successfully.

Due to my state of illness, i won't be able to facilitate the runnings and contacts but rather the lawyer will help you in ensuring adequate contact and preparation.

Thanks for your mail,

God bless you and your family.

Jonathan Caru.


Lady Agatha Bristol

June 6

My dear Caru,
Thank you for your note.

Please do tone down the dramatics, old boy. There is a long way to go.

We await contact with your lawyer.


And here he comes!

Barrister Sanjay Khan

sanjay_associateschambers@yahoo.co.in:

Dear lady Agatha,
I barrister Sanjay Kahn of the Sanjay khan and associates chamber.I got your mail in respect of the fund transfer belonging to my sick client Mr.Jonathan caru.I am aware about the transfer of the fund.I assure you that we are capable of assisting you to be the rightfull beneficiary of the said fund. We shall be able to help you only within the republic of india where the fund was deposited. I have been his lawyer for a long time now before the tregedy incident of 2002 kish airline resulting to his present illness.We need you to send to us the photocpy of your international passport or nationally recognised identity card, to prove the legality of your nationality.We also need to have your personal telephone number for easy communication.when all these are being done,we shall send to you the contact of the bank so that you will contact them to effect the transfer.
Thanking you for your anticipated coperation,
faithfully yours,
Barrister Sanjay Khan


Lady Agatha Bristol

June 7

My dear Khan,

Thank you for your note.

As a qualified barrister myself (Miracsky College, Cambridge) it will expedite matters if we can speak on a certain professional level.

Secondly, before we proceed, we should like you to swear a Temporary Oath of Allegiance to Her Majesty. Once this is done we can then assess your genuine intentions and ensure you get what you truly deserve.

Remain blessed, as they say.

Yours ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London


Barrister Sanjay Khan

Dear Lady Agatha,
I must express my sincere gratitude, for your coperation and unlimited effectiveness in replying my mail.
I agree with you madam, that professionallism, being applied will fasten matters in this regard. After going through several British Oath of Allegiance, i wish to inform you that , am ready to swear by same oath, with all sincerity and indulgence. I hereby ask you, to send me a copy of it, by which you wish to see my hand sketched signature and yours as well, being duly signed and officiated on the given date of presentation. In additon to that, you are requested to act fervently, by providing the necessary documents i asked from you in my previous mail to you.
I hereby wish to inform you that on reception of those mentioned requirements, you will be jurisdicted to act on behalf of my client Mr. Caru, as the next of kin/ beneficiary of his estate/assets here in India, and only here in india, as regards to my level of service, requested by him.
Thanking you for your anticipated coperation, meanwhile, i wish to hear from you soonest , via email or my private mobile number; +919833252901.
regards,
Bar. Sanjay Khan [esq]
Sanjay khan & Associates

Indian telephone number. Shaky writing for an Indian barrister.


Lady Agatha Bristol

June 8

My dear Khan,
Thank you for your note.

We are delighted that you have agreed to take a Temporary Oath of Allegiance to Her Majesty.

Please type out the following text, add your photograph, sign it, and send the document back to me:

'WHEREAS, I Barrister Sanjay Khan, on this day____________do in all kuzdardz pertaining vas deferens and in all humble merkin, swear in all fey gluteus maximus to assist Her Majesty Queen Elizabeth II in all matters pertaining to Her Royal Business, so help me God. Pro Vom Poppadom.'

We look forward to a long and fruitful partnership once we receive your Oath.

Yours ever,

Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London


The "Barrister" has apparently learned that his correspondence is on Scamorama, amusing the People of the Interwebs.
Read the following out loud for extra amusement.

Barrister Sanjay Khan

Dear angel
you should have known that you were dealing with a biger an d more inteligent young guy. Well i must thank you for your good work in flushing out those dumb asses that gets our work messed up with their little brain. you know this work is meant for wise and intelligent personals, like me, who has offered to work with the CIA, and other international security bodies, but due to their selfish rascist inhabitations, they turned me down.
So i had to keep on using my intelligence the way it will bless me. Well , i do suggest that you stop this your scam o rama work and do real work. we can work together if you want, and i can make you 100 times richer than you are now.
Get back to me if you think you can handle. you can as well callk me on phone.
THE DON.


Lady Agatha Bristol

June 9

My dear Khan,
What on earth are you talking about?

We are assisting Mr. Caru with a fund transfer.

Please sign the Oath and we can continue this transaction.

Have you been drinking?

As ever,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London


Barrister Sanjay Khan

hello agatha,
hell you. can't you see that you are dealing with a more intelligent man. You don't exist, so lets not talk muhc. You are one scam o rama my ass group, so go to hell with that. If you wish to get rich, tel me and i will help, forget about this your scan o rama stuff, it will lead you to early death bitch.

Lady Agatha Bristol

June 10

My dear Khan,
Thank you for your spluttering and amusing invective, which is typical of the 419 scum you are.

Thanks also for the header info on your note. It will prove useful when the authorities come looking for you.

I'm afraid I'll have to turn down your invitation to involve myself in criminal activity; I rather enjoy my role in the Foreign Office as well as the benefits honest employment brings such as regular money and freedom.

However, I wish you all the worst in your pathetic endeavours and hopefully your exposure will make people aware of your revolting and malignant presence and will see you for the foul, mendacious, stupid and greedy 419 scammer you are.

One other thing - our operatives and associates are everywhere, so you never know who'll turn up in your inbox next.

For now, enjoy your brush with the law, and look forward to making some new friends soon, you moron.

Don't pick up the soap, now!

Yours,
Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London

And where is Our Lad, actually?
Good old APNIC (www.apnic.net) says he's using:
Hathway Cable Service (hathway.net), Mumbai -- for connectivity
and Yahoo India -- for e-mails
But he doesn't seem very Sanjay, or anything east of the Red Sea. Namaste, y'all.

That seemed to be that. But then Agent Stroganov took an interest in this case!


Mikhail Stroganov

SIR

WORD REACHES ME YOU REQUIRE ASSISTANCE WITH A FUND TRANSFER_HOW CAN I HELP YOU???

MIKHAIL STROGANOV

Stroganov Publishing (Pvt) Ltd
4402 Bowdinskaya Street
Moscow 0169
Russia

Barrister Sanjay Khan

<sanjay_associateschambers@yahoo.co.in>

SANJAY KHAN & ASSOCIATES
(LEGAL PRACTITIONERS/NOTARY PUBLIC)
22 BANDRA ROAD , KURLA JUNCTION, MUMBAI 400001.

Tel/FAX:+919892433388,+85-2301-58901
INDIA.

Attn: ,
Regarding my client who wrote me a mail that he wants you to act as the Beneficiary of the funds he deposited with the Security Company. Basically all that i have to do is to act on all legal matters on behalf of my client and to prepare some documents send to you and the company.This documents will legally bind you as the new beneficiary to the funds.

Moreso,i am going to write an application to the company which my client has told me he has also done.I will prepare and send to you and the company the Power of Attorney to enable you act as the beneficiary of these funds.I will be also sending them this Power of attorney to notify them that the beneficiaryship has changed.I will be sending to you the certificate of deposit the company presented to my client when he deposited this funds which you will present to the company for the funds to be released for you.You will therefore act as the beneficiary and retrieve this funds and disburse as directed by my client.

On the foregoing I will take out time to explain the whole process to you at different stages.So for now,do furnish me with the following information to prepare all the necesary documents for the project:

1.Your full names as it appears on your international passport or drivers licence.
2.Address
3.Telephone and Fax Numbers
4.Nationality
5.Gender
6.Age
7.Marital Status
8.Occupation
9.Fax to me any vital document for the sake of identification i.e your scanned drivers licence or a page of your international passport.

Finally do get back to me as soon as possible through email or my cell phone number because my client has complained that his health fast deteriorating and he wants to see this project come to reality before anything happens to him.

Regards,

Barrister Sanjay Khan(Esq)


Mikhail Stroganov

BARRISTER KHAN

THANK YOU FOR YOUR NOTE_HOWEVER ALL I HAVE AT THE MOMENT IS RUMOUR AND HEARSAY WHICH ALTHOUGH PASS FOR BUSINESS IN YOUR PART OF THE WORLD I WILL NEED SOME DOCUMENTARY EVIDENCE OF THIS CLAIM_CAN YOU SUPPLY THIS???_PLEASE GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE MAN AND WE CAN DRINK A TOAST TO OUR IMPENDING WEALTH_YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE TO KNOW THAT I HAVE A SUBSTANTIAL AMOUNT OF MONEY I NEED TO DEPOSIT OFFSHORE DUE TO VARIOUS TAX REASONS

S

[I AM SURE YOU ARE AWARE OF THIS BUT THIS IS THE SAME RUDE RASCAL WHO LADY AGATHA HAS HAD DEALINGS WITH_RETRIBUTION WILL BE MINE]


Barrister Sanjay Khan

my dear friend
why are you guys disturbing me? Firstly your partner from uk, and now you. Please let me be. I know you very well, and we are enemies. Scam O Rama and guy men are worst enemies. SO why can't you respect yourself and let me be. If you need job, i can get you one, rather than wasting your time .
Thanks.
Fuck your mama's pussy


Mikhail Stroganov

June 30

MOST AMUSING MY LITTLE MUGU_YOU ARE INDEED QUITE SHARP FOR A FAT OLD MAN IN A CHEAP JACKET PECKING AWAY AT AN OLD KEYBOARD SOMEWHERE_YOU ARE EXCELLENT ENTERTAINMENT WITH YOUR BIZARRE INVECTIVE AND MANNERISMS OF A SHOULDER-PAD WEARING SHYSTER_WE LOVE PLAYING WITH YOU AND I AM CERTAIN THAT WE WILL BE BACK ONE DAY MUGU_ENJOY YOUR 419 GAMES FOR NOW BECAUSE YOU NEVER KNOW WHEN THAT KNOCK ON THE DOOR WILL OCCUR

S


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