Saving Grace, or Church of the Bush

Another Scambust from Capt. Slog, aka Alex Wale, last seen in MIRKINS AWAY.
Alex is also the hero of Dead Again, Billy Graham and Ben Blessed.
Alex appears here courtesy of Anti-Scammers Equity.

Dear Postmaster,
Here is my latest offering.

I see from the website that various 'Churches' seem to be springing up everywhere, it must have been the influence of the festive season.
I too had an email with a religious tone so I decided to reply in kind, hence the "Church of the Bush".

Yours
Capt Slog


The Scammers
MISS GRACE EMOSS - Terminally ill widow of a Kuwaiti Embassy official on the Ivory Coast
DR TURAKI BELLO - Banking lad.
BARRISTER ROB JOHNSON. ESQ LLB. - Barrister Lad, (senior advocate of the nation no less!)

On The Home Team
ALEX WALE - Mirkin/merkin maker and ley preacher for the 'Church of the Bush' .


MISS GRACE

Received: from [196.201.89.147] <-- Ivory Coast
Date: Thu, 21 Dec 2006
From: missgrace06emoss@yahoo.co.jp
Subject: From miss Grace Emoss
To: missgrace06emoss@yahoo.co.jp

A letter from Miss Grace

Miss Grace

From miss Grace Emos 20 Dec 06

Dearest,one

My name is miss Grace Emoss. I was born in Kuwait. I am married to Mr.Phillip Emoss who worked with Kuwait embassy in Ivory Coast for nine years before he died in the year 2003.We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days Before his death we were both born again Christian. Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of $4.Million in a Bank here in Abidjan.

And Recently, My Doctor told me that I would not last for the next six months due to my cancer problem (cancer of the lever and stroke). Presently this money is still in the Bank. Having known my condition I am in need of a HONEST Hearted Individual Christian or Church that i will utilize this fund the way I am going to instruct herein.

I want somebody that will use this fund according to the desire of my late husband to help Lessprivilaged people, orphanages,widows and propagating the word of God. I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this fund, And I don't want in away where this money will be used in an unGodly way. This is why I am taking this decision to hand you over this Fund.

I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going.I want you to always remember me in your daily prayers because of my up coming Cancer Surgery.
Write back to me as soon as possible because any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another person for this same purpose, Hoping to read from you soon.
With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Bank in Abidjan. I will also issue you an authorisation letter that will prove you the present beneficiary of this fund. God bless you as you listing to the voice of reasoning,

May God Bless From,
Miss Grace Emoss.


[Your basic Cancer letter. But you knew that.]


ALEX WALE

Dear Miss Grace (21 Dec 06)

My dear, how fortunate you were to have written to me out of all the thousands you could have chosen, for is it not written (Ezra 4:18) "The letter which ye sent unto us hath been plainly read before me."

I was sorely troubled to hear of your desperate plight; your multiple illnesses and the loss of your husband. However dear lady, I think I am the person that is sent unto you in your hour of need, and I think it is to I that the money is meant to come. (Deuteronomy 15:8) "But thou shalt open thine hand wide unto him, and shalt surely lend him sufficient for his need, in that which he wanteth."

By profession I am a merkin maker which is a small job that enables me to keep my hand in, but I would put the money to good use in my work as a ley-preacher in the "Church of the Bush".

We of the Church of the Bush, regard the Bush as sacred and believe it should not be removed, (Exodus 3:4) "God called unto him out of the midst of the bush, and said, Moses. And he said, Here am I."

As such we preach that the bush should be allowed to flourish, without the curse of razors, waxing or depilatory devices which are the work of the Devil.

Please tell me what you need from me.

Alex Wale


[No, I'm not turning religious, I found a 'bible quotes' web page. You put in the subject and it finds lines from the bible with those words in. Great fun for confounding Christians anywhere.]

[Scam-o-note: Scamorama is not particularly in the business of confounding Christians, but loves a good joke and hopes you will enjoy this one.]


MISS GRACE

My Dear Alex (22 Dec 06)

May God bless you for writing,

I am happy that you are a christian but i want you to know that this upportunity did not reach everybody because i was looking for some one to trust in this project which i promised to accomplish for our lord Jesus,

all i want from you is your trust and honesty because my late husband suffered for this fund for so many years before he died and all his properties has been taking away by his enemies and none of them knows about this fund which he deposited in the bank, I decided to use this fund for the work of God because i know that i will died and i am not afraid of death because i am doing all that pleases our lord Jesus,

Thank you for accepts me to use you for this donation but do not betray the trust i am about to impose on you, my condition is too critical now that i can not write and the doctors daughter is helping me to send you email, i have written to the Bank where my fund was deposited and i have told them that i want the fund to be transfered to indonesia for a purpose,

I told the Bank that you are my late husband partner and i have given them the instruction to wire the fund to your account abroad,

Please i want you to contact the Bank tomorrow and introduce your self to them and try to let them know that i am the one that directed you because they all knows my condition of health,

This is the contacts of the Bank,

Coopec International Bank Abidjan Cote D'ivoire
phone:00225-01-62-38-24
fax:+225 21 56 57 09
Email info_coopecbankci_itnl@Safe-mail.net
contact:Dr. Turaki Bello ( Director General)
private:dr_turabelo@yahoo.ca

I have attached my pics to you while in my sickbed for your view and i will be glad if you can also send me your pics and all your contact informations as well, please contact the Bank and make sure you submit your account informations for the transfer to your acount, please make sure that this fund is used in a Godly way as i stated previously because i do not want this fund to be missused in an ungodly way,

Make sure you take 20% of the total money for your help in this matter and use the rest of the fund for the lessprivilaged ones as i stated in my previous email, please try and let me know your discussion with the Bank during their Banking working hours,

Please do not forget to put my condition of health in your prayers.

May God bless you my dear,

Always be prayerful and know that Jesus christ died for our sins,

MissGrace.



MISS GRACE

My Dear Alex, (8 Jan 07)

How are you today, i have been waiting to hear from you after my last email to you, this funds need to be transfered to your acount as soon as possible as my conditions is too bad now,

I will be waiting to hear from you for us to accomplish this work for God,

May God bless you.

Sister Grace



[I couldn't be bothered with all this over Christmas, hence the big delay.]

ALEX WALE

. Dear Miss Grace, (8 Jan 07)

I'm sorry that it has been some time since I last wrote to you but things have been very busy here.

Firstly, nearly the whole of the UK closed for the Christmas period and two weeks of festivities commenced., As you are a Christian yourself, you will appreciate this, and realise that nothing could come before it. We had many special services at the Church of the Bush including the Preparing of the Way (a ritual parting of the hair) and the Fine-Toothed Combing. I also had to prepare and deliver my yearly Sermon on the Mons, if I may say so, to a climactic response from my congregation.

Then came the "Week of the Sales". This is possibly not an observance in some parts of the globe, but in the UK it is part of the celebrations of Christmas to give all shop keeper's money that you can't afford to give in return for things that you don't really need. However, I did manage to pick up several grooming aids that I did not know existed from a lady called Anne Summers, and I'm sure our services at the Church of the Bush will be all the livelier.

I must say that you are looking very well in your photograph, it is heartening to see that you are bearing your illness with good fortitude. Good show dear lady.

I see from your previous mail that you've asked me to contact a bank. I'm not too keen on this as I don't have much to do with banks, they being the dens of shavers, userers and the general ungodly. For is it not written in Proverbs 22.7 "The rich ruleth over the poor, and the borrower is servant to the lender"? Still, needs must I suppose, I shall write to them shortly and see what needs to be done to get the fortune from their evil, hairless clutches.

Yours

Alex Wale


[I don't know if the USA has Anne Summers shops, they are a sort of "respectable" sex shop on UK high streets.
So I write to the bank, a Dr Turaki Bello, who becomes, Dr Turaki later on.]



ALEX WALE

Dear Dr Bello, (9 Jan 07)

I am writing to you in connection with the money deposited in your bank in the name of Miss Grace Emoss.

I am her late husband's business partner and I would like you to arrange for the money to be paid to me.

Thank you

Alex Wale



DR TURAKI BELLO

FROM THE DESK OF DIRECTOR FOREIGN REMMITTANCE DEPARTMENT COOPEC INTERNATIONAL BANK.CI.
........................................................................................................................
10/01/2007

ATTENTION MR ALEX WALE,

SIR,

WE ARE IN RECEIPT OF YOUR REQUEST IN THIS BANK REGARDING THE TRANSFER OF FUND THAT BELONGING TO YOUR SICK PARTNER MRS GRACE EMOS WHICH WAS DEPOSITED BY HER LATE HUSBAND TO BE TRANSFERED TO YOUR ACCOUNT IN YOUR COUNTRY AND YOUR PARNER MRS GRACE EMOS HAS NOTIFY US FOR THE TRANSFER TO YOUR ACCOUNT.

PLESAE SEND US YOUR THE BANK ACCOUNT INFORMATRIONS WHERE YOU WANT MY FOREIGN REMMITTNACE DEPARTMENT TO WIRE YOUR ASSOCIATE FUND.

TO TRANSFER THE HUDGE FUND SUCCESSFULLY TO YOUR NOMINBATED BANK ACCOUNT IN YOUR COUNTRY,WE WILL NEED A GOVERNMENT APPROVAL BENEFICIAL DOCUMENTS WHICH YOUR PARTNERS NAME WILL BE CHANGED TO YOUR NAME AS THE NEW AND APPOINTED BENEFICIARY OF THE FUND AS SHE INSTRUCTED TO ENABLE US WIRE THE FUND TO YOUR ACCOUNT TODAY IN YOUR COUNTRY.

THIS MENTIONED DOCUMENTS WILL BE PROCURED FROM THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE AND ALSO SWORN AFFIDAVIT OF OATH FROM THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF JUSTICE BY A RESIDENT LAWYER HERE IN THIS COUNTRY,

YOU ARE ADVICED TO CONTACT OUR LEGAL APPOINTED ATTORNEY TODAY WHO WILL GET THE DOCUMENTS ON YOUR BEHALF AND SUBMIT IT TO MY DESK FOR THE TRANSFER.

THIS IS THE CONTACTS OF OUR ATORNEY.

EQUITY CONSULTANT CHAMBERS CABINET.
TEL.+225-09-19-98-31
FAX.+225 21 56 48 79 EMAIL: equity_consultantchambers@yahoo.ca
CONTACT:(BARRISTER ROB.JOHNSON ESQ.LLB)
SENIOR ADVOCATE.

MEANWHILE YOU ARE TO SEND US FRONT PAGE OF YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OR DRIVING LICENCE.

AS SOON AS THIS BANK RECEIVE THIS REQUIREMENTS WE WILL TRANSFER MRS GRACE EMOS FUND INTO YOUR NOMINATED BANK ACCOUNT IN YOUR COUNTRY DURING OUR BANKING WORKING HOURS WHILE CREDITING YOUR ACCOUNT WE WILL SEND YOU A TRANSFER SLIP TO RECEIVE THE FUND IN YOUR ACCOUNT.

NOTE THAT THE TRANSFER CAN NOT EFFECT BY THIS BANK UNLESS WE RECEIVE THE REQUESTED DOCUMENTS FROM OUR ATTORNEY TO PROVE YOUR FUND FREE FROM MONEY LAUNDERING, NACOTIATICS, NACOTICS AND E.T.C EVERYTHING IS LEFGALY DONE IN THIS BANK.

AS SOON AS THE REQUIREMENTS ARE RECEIVED TODAY YOUR FUND WILL BE WIRED TO YOUR ACCO0UNT TODAY WITHOUT ANY HINDERANCE.

THANKS FOR CO-OPERATIONS.

WE SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF BANKING.

DR.TURAKI BELLO
(DIRECTOR GENERAL)
COOPEC INTERNATIONAL BANK ABIDJAN WEST AFRICA.



[ And following the scheme of things, I write to the 'Barrister' as well.]

ALEX WALE

Dear Barrister Rob Johnson ESQ LBW, (11 Jan)

May I introduce myself. My name is Alex Wale and I believe that Dr Tukari at the Bank has arranged with you to act on my behalf in the transfer of Miss Grace's fortune to my account.

Yours

Alex Wale



[The Barrister is very on the ball!]

BARRISTER ROB JOHNSON

ATTN!! MR ALEX WALE, (Jan 11)

SIR,

I'M IN RECEIPT OF YOUR EMAIL AND REQUEST TO THIS CHAMBER REQUESTING FOR THE GOVERNMENT APPROVAL BENEFICIAL DOCUMENTS TO YOUR NAME AS THE NEW BENEFICIARY OF YOUR ASSOCIATE FUND IN MY CLIENT BANK AND MY CLIENT BANK COOPEC INTERNATIONAL BANK HAS ALSO NOTIFY ME OF THIS LEGAL FUND TRANSFER CLEARANCE DOCUMENTS,

TO PROCURE THE GOVERNMENT APPROVAL CLEARANCE DOCUMENTS ON YOUR NAME, THIS DOCUMENTS WILL BE PROCURED FROM THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE AND SWORN AFFIDAVIT OF OATH IN FEDERAL MINISTRY OF JUSTICE HERE IN ABIDJAN WHICH I WILL SWEAR IN THE HIGH COURT AND PROCURE THE DOCUMENTS ON YOUR NAME AND SUBMIT IT TO THE BANK WHICH THE COPIES OF THE ABOVE DOCUMENTS WILL BE SENT TO YOU BY ME TO ENABLE MY CLIENT BANK WIRE YOUR SICK PARTNERS FUND INTO YOUR ACCOUNT IN YOUR COUNTRY DURING THEIR BANKING WORKING HOURS.

MEANWHILE YOU ARE TO SEND ME THE DOCUMENTS PAYMERNTS FEE OF USD$950 VIA WETERN UNION TRANSFER WITH THE NAME OF MY SECRETARY BELOW AND SEND THE INFORMATIONS OF THE PAYMENTS.

NAME: MR CHUKWUMA NJOKU
COUNTRY :COTE D'IVOIRE
CITY: ABIDJAN.

AS SOON AS THE DOCUMENTS PAYMENTS FEE AS RECEIVED BY US WE GUARANTEE SECURANCE OF THE ABOVE DOCUMENTS BY TOMMORROW MORNING AND UPON THE PROCUREMENT OF THE ABOVE DOCUMNETS IT WILL BE PASSED TO MY CLIENT BANK TO ENABLE THEM EFFECT THE TRANSFER INTO YOUR NOMINATED BANK ACCOUNT INTO YOUR ACCOUNT IN YOUR COUNTRY,

THANK YOU MY GOOD FRIEND.

YOURS IN SERVICE.

EQUITY CONSULTANTS CHAMBERS
(BARRISTER ROB JOHNSON ESQ LLB)
(SENIOR ADVOCATE)
CHUKWUMA NJOKU
(SECRETARY)



MISS GRACE

My Dear Alex Wale, (11 Jan)

May God Bless you for writring,

as yopu hvae seen and knoiw the condition of my uillhealth i want you to know that in hvae no time to waste anymore to get this Gods fund transfered, you need to let me know yoiur opinion in mhelping me accomplisg this work for God so that i will have rest of mind, you do not need to beat around the bush as yoiu know that this gods fund transfer is urgent,

i have not received your pics or any imformations from you as requested, contact the Bank lawyer for my Gods work fund transfer documents to let me know you are ready to accomplish this Gods work with me and do not forget to let me know your opinion in it,

Reamain Blessed,

Sister Grace



ALEX WALE

Dear Miss Grace, (11 Jan)

I'm sorry, I haven't sent you my photograph, that was very remiss of me.

As for "beating around the bush", nothing could be further from my thoughts. We at the Church Of The Bush never do that! we like to get straight to the nub of the matter. I can assure you that I will use this money for God's work and my opinion of it is that this is good.

I have written to the bank and will contact the lawyer shortly.

Bear up dear lady, and don't let your illness stop you from employing the spellchecker.

Yours

Alex Wale



ALEX WALE

Dear Barrister Rob, (Jan 16)

I'm sorry I haven't replied sooner, I've been in bed with the flu.

I see from your last email that you need me to send you some money by some strange stagecoach company?

I have a much better idea, why don't you take the amount that you need out of the fund and then just send me the remainder?

By the way, you seem to have the 'caps lock' stuck on your keyboard. Please take it off, writing in capitals is the work of complete idiots and not the sort of thing one would expect from a law firm.

Yours

Alex Wale



['Idiot' seems to be a BIG insult over there, I must use it more often.]

BARRISTER ROB JOHNSON

16/01/2007

Attention Mr Alex Wale, (16 Jan)

My good friend the receipt of your mail well acknowledged, mind you that you are indirectly insulting my personality after my 21 years in law field,

I am not a banker rather than a professional lawyer and your question can not be answered by me ratheR than by my client Bank where your sick associates funds was deposited,

as soon as your funds transfer documents payment fee are received in my office your funds transfer clearance documents will be procured by me same day,

Thank you,

(Barrister Rob Johnson Esq LLb)

Senior Advoocate of the Nation
Chukwuma Njoku
(Secretary)




ALEX WALE

Dear Dr Turaki, (16 Jan)

Please forgive the delay, I've been a little unwell over the past few days and this is my first day out of bed.

Please find attached to this email a copy of my driving license.

Yours

Alex Wale


[I sent my usual fake driving license with this.]


DR TURAKI BELLO

(16 Jan)

FROM THE DESK OF DIRECTOR FOREIGN REMMITTANCE DEPARTMENT COOPEC INTERNATIONAL.CI
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

ATTENTION MR ALEX WALE,

SIR,

YOUR DRIVERS LICENCE HAS BEN RECEIVED AS REQUESTED TODAY DATED 16/01/1007,

YOU ARE TO SEND US YOUR ACCOUNT INFORMATIONS FOR THE TRANSFER WHILE WAITING FOR OUR LEGAL APPOINTED ATTORNEY TO SUBMIT OUR REQUESTED DOCUMENTS TO ENABLE US WIRE YOUR SICK PARTNERS FUNDS INTO YOUR ACCOUNT WITHOUT ANY HINDERANCE.

THANKS FOR CO-OPERATIONS,

DR TURAKI BELLO
(DIRCETOR GENERAL)

COOPEC INTERNATIONAL BANK.CI



ALEX WALE

Dear Barrister Rob, (17 Jan)

You are very much mistaken sir, I wasn't 'indirectly' insulting you at all. However, I am glad to see you have managed to find the caps lock key, "Reperio vestriarse per utriusque manuum" as you legal bods say.

It is good news to see that you have managed to arrange for the funds transfer documents payment fee to be taken out of the bulk of the money deposited at the bank, and that you are now just waiting to receive it from them. That was very quick work and I applaud you. Be sure that I will mention you to Miss Grace.

Yours Alex Wale


[The 'latin' is a very liberal translation of "find your arse with both hands" from a translation website.]


BARRISTER ROB JOHNSON

Attention Mr Alex Wale, (18 Jan)

My Goodfriend i received your message later today, it is a pity that you misunderstood my message to you, your question to me has not been answered which you have already concluded which is not properly done in a law firm all over the world,

if the funds can be taken from the bulk best knoiw to you and the Bank not me, as i ealier told you that am not a Banker rather than a professional international lawyer,

You are adviced to contact the Bank to clearify your question as my duty is to procure the Bank requested documntes as mentioned,Hope you understand?

Thank you my Goodfriend,

Barrister Rob Johnson Esq LLb
(Senior Advocate of the Nation)



ALEX WALE

Dear Barrister Rob, (19 Jan)

Oh Dear, that is a shame.

Never mind, we'll just have to sort out the fee some other way.

I don't know if Miss Grace mentioned this, but I'm a ley-preacher in "The Church of the Bush". Apart from the obvious connotations such as allowing the Bush to flourish naturally and the eternal damnation of all shavers, we as a Church are supposed to circumspect in who we deal with.

Therefore, I am required by my calling and also my congregation to ask before I can do any further business with you if you are an unshaven, God fearing, Christian.

Yours

Alex Wale



MISS GRACE

My Dear Alex, (20 Jan)

How are you today, i have been waiting to hear from you after my last email to you, please i will like know the stage you have gone with the Bank,
I will be waiting to hear from you today,

May God bless you.

Miss Grace



ALEX WALE

Dear Dr Turaki, (22 Jan)

Here are my account details that you requested.

account 002643051-3460
sort code 15-20-02
bank name Murray's Mint, 13 Gilbert Street, Townsend, Nottingham.

As a ley preacher in the Church of the Bush, I am unable to do business with certain peoples that my church regard as ungodly. I must therefore ask you under strictest confidence to answer the following question; Do you shave?

In the meantime, the Lawyer chappie has asked for a sum of money to complete the transaction. Can you please authorise for this to be paid out, after all we (Miss Grace and I)

have a very large amount deposited in your bank and you therefore know that we good for any trivial sum required to pay for legal fees.

Thanks

Alex Wale



ALEX WALE

Dear Miss Grace, (26 Jan)

I've heard very little from the Bank or the Barrister this week, I'm beginning to suspect that they don't know what they are doing.

I wrote to the bank to ask them to authorize the release of a small sum to cover the document fees, but I've heard nothing since.

I do hope that you are bearing up in your illness dear lady.

Yours

Alex Wale



MISS GRACE

My Dear Alex Wale, (27 Jan)

May God bless you for writing,

I have been in tietar for some days now but today i have a chance to tell the young lady to write you, the Bank has contacted me and also the lawyer of the Bank regarding the deocuments of my funds transfer to your nominated account,

The lawyer said it will cost some money to obtain the document, you know that my late husband deposited this funds in the Bank suspence account and it can not be withdrawed over here until it is transfered outside the country where we can have access to the funds that was why i used you for this work,

I have send the hospital messanger to to go the Bank and pay them sum of$450 as commitiment fees for the document which is the only cash i have at hand here so contact the Bank lawyer and pay him the balance of the total sum so that he can obtain the documents to enble the Bank transfer the funds to your account today or first thing on monday morning,

make sure you follow the Bank instructions as you know that i finds it very difficult to write you but if you want to drop message to me please call the doctor on 0022506778479 and drop a message he will reach me on the sick bed,

May God bless you and your family,

Sister Grace Emos.



[What or where is 'Tietar', I assumed it must be some medical situation.]

ALEX WALE

Dear Miss Grace, (29 Jan)

I urge you to confine yourself to your sickbed, a lady in your delicate condition shouldn't be out making trips. Tietar is not a place I've heard of, is it nice there?

I will ask the bank to authorise a short term loan for the amount to cover the fees. As there is so much money in the account, this shouldn't be a problem as it is obvious we are secure borrowers with so much collateral behind us.

Yours

Alex



ALEX WALE

Dear Mr Turaki, (30 Jan)

You haven't answered my query regards shaving, please do so at once, this is important.

In the meantime, I would like to arrange a loan from your bank. It is only a small sum, just $950 to pay the lawyer chappie. As you will know, we have $4,000,000 in an account in your bank and this can act as security on the loan.

If you will send me the necessary documents for this loan, we can get this under way.

Thanks

Alex Wale


[I doubt this is a new ploy but The Lads seem to be asking for money to be sent to the 'bank' a lot these days. Well, what are banks for? Giving out loans of course.]


DR TURAKI BELLO

FROM THE DESK OF DIRECTOR COOPEC INTERNATIONAL BANK.CI (Jan 30)

,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

ATTENTIOAN MR ALEX WALE,

SIR,

WE ARE IN RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL THIS EVENING, YOU MUST KNOW AND UNDERSTAND THAT YOUR PARTNERS FUNDS IS IN OUR BANK SUSPENCE ACCOUNT AND IT CAN NOT BE TOUCH OR WITHDRAWED UNTIL IT IS SUCESSFULLY TRANSFERED TO A FOREIGN ACCOUNT AS IT IS AN AGGREMENT BETWEEN THIS BANK AND THE DEPOSITOR OF FUND,

THANKS FOR CO-OPERATIONS,

DR TURAKI BELLO
(DIRECTOR GENERAL)

COOPEC INTERNATIONAL BANK.CI.



ALEX WALE

Dear Dr Turaki, (Jan 31)

I know that the money is held in a suspended account, I've got that bit, and I realise that I can't use it. However, you are the DIRECTOR of an International Bank which means that you must have the power to make certain decisions regarding money. So what I'm asking you to do is to arrange a small loan.

Now, you know that I have a 20% share of $4,000,000 dollars in a suspended account.This money will be mine as soon as the paperwork is signed, you know that to be a fact too. So you have no choice but to conclude that I am a safe bet for a loan of $950. You will even be handling the transfer of the $4,000,000 when it leaves your bank, and it can be a condition of the loan that the repayment is deducted at source at that time with interest.

Loans are what banks do, it shouldn't be too difficult for the Director of such an establishment to sort out. I'll expect the loan agreement forms with your next email.

By the way, we still haven't resolved the shaving issue.

Yours

Alex Wale



DR TURAKI BELLO

Jan31

FROM THE DESK OF DIRECTOR FOREIGN REMMITTTANCE DEPARTMENT COOPEC INTERNATIONAL BANK.CI
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,

ATTENTIOAN MR ALEX WALE,

SIR,

WE ARE IN RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL THIS EVENING,

I HAVE BEeN IN BANKING FIELD FOR THE PAST 24YERS NOW AND AM OLD IN AGE, YOU CAN NOT TEACH ME MY PROFESSION AS A PROFESSIONAL EXPERIENCED BANKER RATHER THAN YOUR EXPERIENCE IN YOUR PROFESSIONAL FIELD,

TO HAVE A SUCESSFUL TRANSFER IN THIS BANK YOU MUST FOLLOW THE BANK RULES AND PROCEDURES,

AS SIGHED AGREEMENT CAN NEVER BE CHANGED AS A GOOD CITIZEN OF THIS COUNTRY,

LAST CLEARIFICATION!!!

THANKSFOR YOUR CO-OPERATIONS.



ALEX WALE

Dear Barrister Rob,

I'm sorry for the delay in getting the fees to you; I'm being held up by that fool at the bank.

The man is supposed to be the "director" of the bank, but between you and me I think all he directs is the making of the tea. He seems to have no control over any day to day running of an international banking institution, after all, you'd think that the director would have enough authority to organise a piddling little loan wouldn't you?

I'll get back to you as soon as I have organised some money.

By the way, you didn't answer my question regarding the shaving.

Yours

Alex Wale



ALEX WALE

Dear Turaki, (1 Feb)

I wasn't trying to teach you your profession, that will need someone with a great deal more patience and time than I have at my disposal. I have no doubts that you are a complete and utter banker.

However, I will point out that you are serving ME and not the other way around, and if I get any more of your truculence I'll come over there and make your eyes water. And whilst I am in the mood, TAKE YOUR CAPS LOCK OFF, only idiots write in capitals.

Now, having got that out of the way, where are the loan forms that I asked you for?

Yours Alex Wale



ALEX WALE

Dear Turaki, (3 Feb)

For goodness sake what are you messing about at? Are you going to arrange a loan for me or not?

The young chap that runs the errands and makes the tea at my local bank is more organised than you, perhaps he would make a better director!

Get your finger out!

Alex Wale



ALEX WALE

Dear Miss Grace, (5 Feb)

I'm sorry that this is taking so long, I've had a lot of problems with the bank.

The so called director there is a buffoon, he is quite incapable of arranging a simple loan of $950, so I'm going to have to send it to the barrister chappie. I believe that the bank director is possibly an ungodly shaver, and is not to be trusted.

I do hope that you are feeling as well as can be expected, and that you don't manage to shuffle off this mortal coil before the whole business is complete.

Yours Alex Wale



ALEX WALE

Turaki, (5 Feb)

I have come to the conclusion that you are a complete idiot.

Why someone like you is in charge of a bank is beyond my comprehension, it is clear that you have no idea how to direct anything and are quite unable to deal with customer's wishes.

You can rest assured that I'll be writing to the head office of the bank to tell them the sort of imbeciles that they are employing in high level positions and you'll probably be making the tea by the end of the week.

Alex Wale



MISS GRACE

My Dear Alex Wale, (5 Feb)

May God bless you for writing,

I have been uncomfortable all this while i did not write you as the young lady has been so busy with her studies in school, what kind of problems do you have with my Bank? is it for my funds transfer or what? please explain,

plesae go ahed with the Bank to complete this trsnafer and let me know when you pay my Barrister the fee,

May God bless you for writing,

Sister Grace



ALEX WALE

Dear Barrister Rob, (5 Feb)

I've had no luck whatsoever with that buffoon from the bank, he's now decided to sulk and won't answer any of my emails.

I'm going to have to send you some money from here. Can you tell me again what is needed, because I know that Miss Grace has given you some of it already. I'll also need the adrresses and so forth.

Thanks

Alex Wale



BARRISTER ROB JOHNSON

Attention Mr Alex Wale, (5 Feb)

My Goodfriend the contents of your message well noted, the fee should be sent to us via Western Union Money Transfer with the name of my secretary below and send the imformations of the payments,

Name/Mr Chukwuma Njoku
Country/Ivoary Coast
City/Abidjan.

as soon as the documents fee are received the documents will be procured tomorrow morning and have it sent to you ithout any delay,

Thank you my Goodfriend,

Barrister Rob Johnson Esq LLb
(Senior Advocate of the Nation)



ALEX WALE

Dear Barrister, (6 Feb)

Thankyou for that information, unfortunately you've neglected to tell me the amount you will need transfering. At the same time I would also like you to send me an itemised breakdown of these charges showing clearly the amount for each document needed and each fee incurred. This way, I may be able to offset some of the fees against tax.

By the way, you still haven't answered my question regarding the shaving issue. I will be using church money to fund this project and my congregation and I need to know what sort of person we are dealing with.

Yours
Alex Wale



ALEX WALE

Dear Miss Grace, (7 Feb)

I'm sorry to have to bother you with the details, but the problem with the bank stemmed form the director there. I asked him to arrange a small loan to cover the expense of the legal documents. This is something that was very easy and in the UK it would have be sorted by the man on the counter. However, this so-called director, the man who is in charge of the bank no less, was unable to sort it out!

The man is a useless idiot, I wouldn't trust him to put butter on bread let alone direct a financial institution. I've written to his superiors to complain. I suspect he is a shaver.

In the meantime, I hope you bearing up dear lady. I must point out, by the way, that you are excused in the issue of shaving, as the Church of the Bush recognises that it is sometimes a necessity for medical reasons.

May heaven bless your mirkin.

Alex Wale



ALEX WALE

Barrister, (8 Feb)

As per my last email, in order for me to send you money, I need to know the amount!

I will also require an itemised breakdown of these charges.

It's been two days since I asked you for this, please get on with it.

Alex Wale



BARRISTER ROB JOHNSON

Attn Mr Alex Wale, (8 Feb)

Sir,

the needed documents for the transfer of your associate funds is change of wonersip documnets which your partners name will be changed to your namle as the new and appointed beneficiary of the fundsq as instrycted by your associates which cost $500,

We need also to sworn affidavit ofd oath in the high cvpour of justice which cost $450, which the total sum is $950,

as soon as the funds are sent and completed, i will get the documents and submit to the Bank for the transfer,

Thank yiou,

Barristter Rob Johnson Esq LLB
(Senoior Advocate of the Nation)




ALEX WALE

Dear Barrister Rob, (14 Feb)

I'm sorry this has taken so long, I was struck down by the deadly MIG111 bird flu virus over the weekend, but as you can see I've managed to make a full recovery. My congregation prayed for me almost religiously, and held a full consummation in my honour.

Today I went to the bank to see about sending you the money you need. The man behind the counter, Mr Norden, was very dubious when I told him that I wanted to send money to the Ivory Coast. He used some very unprofessional language to describe Abidjan and gave me a leaflet entitled "419 and You", which was all about people in Africa sending out blanket emails and soliciting money from the unwary. I was shocked. I'm sure you will agree with me that these people will go straight to Hell and the sooner the better.

Anyway, Dennis (Mr. Norden) said that due to the problems they've had in the past that he wasn't able to use Western Union to send any money to that part of the world (along with several others in a list he showed me). However, I could send the money by Guaranteed International Money Provision Service or GIMPS which is what I've done. Apparently, the GIMPS form can be cashed in any bank that bears the VISA sign or carries out VISA transactions and is much safer than Western Union.

Yours

Alex Wale


[With the above went the GIMPS* form. This was invented by Gilbert Murray, which is why my bank is always Murray's Mint. Murray Mints are an old fashioned UK sweet (candy), they used to be advertised on the TV by Dennis Norden.]

[*popular means of imaginary money transfer - see www.scambuster419.co.uk]


ALEX WALE

Dear Miss Grace, (15 Feb)

You will be delighted to know that I have sent the money to the barrister, and it is now just a matter of him affecting the transfer; then all that money will be mine for me to carry on with God's work in the Church of the Bush.
v I must tell you what I learned when I went to the bank to make the transfer. Apparently, there are some very unscrupulous people in your part of the world who like to play on the gullibility of the naive by asking them for money over the internet. These people are called 419 scammers. I was lucky to have found someone genuine like you insted of these crooks. I'm sure that you will join with me in praying for the eternal damnation of these scammers..........

Dear Lord,
May their privates all be shaven and their testicles skewered by hot skewery things.
May the devil himself stoke up the fires and shove his fiery pitchfork up their collective bottoms.
PS Lord, save something special for that fool at the bank, who is both a liar and an idiot.
Amen


Anyway, on to lighter matters, how the cancer progressing?

Yours
Alex



MISS GRACE

My Dear Alex Wale, (16 Feb)

May God bless you for writing,

I have been expecting to hear that you have recieved my fund all this while,but glory be to God for hearing that you have sent the remaining money to barrister for changing of ownership document

i could not write you as the young lady has been so busy with her studies in school, but thank God one of the nurse here in hopital whose name is Fatoumata was help me writing you mail as my Doctor plead her to due for me,i hope that my fund will definetely get into your account as soon as the barrister obtain the document and submith it to the bank.

Dear as told you many times that i want this fund to be utilized in Godly way ealiar,i am happy to hear that you will use the money to build churchs,please remember to visit motherless baby's and lesprivillag people for some donation so that my promise before God become fulfiled,concerning the condition of my sickness i can say that today is more better than yesterday since i have started geting up from my sick bed without anybody holding me,

i am waiting to hear from you immediately you recieve my fund,extend my warmest greeting to your family members

May God bless you for working in God's vinyard,

Sister Grace



ALEX WALE

Dear Barrister Rob, (21 Feb)

What is happening?

I sent you the payment a week ago, and I've heard nothing since.

Come on man, get your finger out before Miss Grace manages to croak.

Alex Wale



[ Well, that looked like the end so I thought I'd send the kiss-off. The hymn runs quite nicely to the verse part of "Bringing in the sheaves".]

ALEX WALE

Dear Miss Grace, (23 Feb)

I haven't heard from you for over a week, please tell me that you haven't popped your clogs!

Your last email inspired me to write a new hymn for the church, see what you think.

Working in God's vineyard, digging up the grapes.
Writing on the internet, playing silly japes.
Confusing all the scammers, of the four one nine.
Send them off a GIMPS form, waste a bit more time.

You said that you were Miss Grace, but I know you are not.
you are in fact a disgrace, you really should be shot.
You believed my mirkins and the Church of Bush
If you just believed in working you could achieve so much.

But no you are a conman and this time you've been done,
you didn't get a penny through Western Union.
You really are too stupid, there's naught inside your head,
Have you ever thought of, tending goats instead?


Alex


[But then this arrived, it's obviously written by a lower echelon Lad]


BARRISTER ROB JOHNSON

Alex, (27 Feb)

are you very stupid? you must be an idiot,

idiot you must pay that money through western union, stupid idiot i waits for the money, Rob Johnson



ALEX WALE

27 feb

Johnson,

Don't you take that tone with me you little shit!

YOU are working for me, not the other way around. That type of attitude might work with your fellow men on the Ivory Coast but it doesn't with me.

I'm giving you fair warning boy, any more of that and I'll be over there carrying baseball bat and five minutes later you'll wish I was back home!

I've sent you the money. Just because you are too dull witted to collect it isn't my fault.

And it's MR WALE to you.

Mr Wale


[And that was the end.]


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