From a Kindly Contributor in the US.
The translator came in mighty handy, but I mostly amused myself.
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Mugu letter, Short and to the point JOEL ADETOLA From: JOEL ADETOLA 40 WOODALE ST. EAST WAY, NIGERIA TEL:234-802-3099775 l am a financial consultant based in east way Nigeria. l have a client (a widow)she has $30,000,000USD with a private equity investment trust company for safekeeping. And she is willing to offer you 40% of the total fund if you can assist her transfer this fund to your country or any bank of your wish.She wishes to invest in a stable economy. Her interest is in companies with potentials for rapid growth in long terms. My client is interested in placing part of her fund in your company,if your country`s bi-laws allows foreign investment. You can contact me for more details via my private e-mail address joeladetola@excite.com with your reference or you can as well call me on 234-802-3099775. Yours faithfully, Joel Adetola E-MAIL:joeladetola@excite.com N:B The fund is free from drug and laundering related offences and this transaction need utmost confidentiality Bruce Banner Dear Mr. Adetola Allow me to introduce myself, I am a Barcelona businesssman, a venture capitalist, so I believe I may be of some assistance to you. Please call me at 34 616 XXX XXX at your soonest convenience. this matter will be handled with utmost discretion and it is my sincere and utmost honour to engage in this matter with you. Mr.Bruce Banner Bruce Banner Dear Mr. Adetola, I believe you tried to call me at 34 616 XXX XXX. I apologize that the connection was not clear. This problem should not repeat itself, the battery on my phone was nearly discharged. Also, I will indicate to you that I have privacy. To ensure that this matter is handled in utmost confidence, please use the following expression when you call: "J'aime les grands tetons", it is French for "Urgent Business at Hand". [well no it isn't actually] It would also help if we include this expression at the end of all correspondence. Thank you, Mr. Bruce Banner He won't play along, sticks to business JOEL ADETOLA To: Bruce Banner Subject: Very Urgent Received: from [192.116.66.218] Reply-to: joeladetola@excite.com Dear Bruce Banner, Thanks for your mail I want you to know that I don't understand french so I want you to give me another code so that I can be able to pronuonce it. Please kindly send me your private fax number and your Banking data where the fund will be transfer to you also I want to inform you that by Monday I will be sending you the Affidavit of Claim and the Affidavit of Trust Certificate so that the fund will bear your name. I will be waiting for your reply. Thanks and God Bless you. Joel Adetola. EFAX is pretty neat Bruce Banner To: joeladetola@excite.com Date: Fri, 14 Nov 2003 12:08:26 -0800 (PST) Subject: Info supplied Bonjour Messr. Joel, Thank you for your mail as I am a man you can trust with such a sizeable transaction. This year I had arranged for the slaughter and packageing of 10,000 water buffalo as they have been determined to carry far less diseases than cattle and of course no mad cow. I do have to question your use of the word "urgent" in your heading while you indicate this matter will be continued Monday. In my line of business "urgent" means "tout de suite", "pronto tonto" and in right now don't bother to pull up your pants the cattle's stampeding. Please don't use "urgent' unless you really mean it. My fax number is (661) 554-XXXX. My banking information will be forthcoming pending receipt of the Affidavit of Claim. I'm sorry you do not speak French as I find it find it a far more eloquent form of communication than stilted English and gutteral German, voulez vous baisez? In your trust and honour, Bruce Banner JOEL ADETOLA Received: from [216.139.180.26] dear friend thanks for your mail and your understanding in the area of investment the fund.i got your fax number. note that as soon as the documents are out today, i will forward it to you on time so that you can have a copy of the documents,bear in mind that the documents will come in your name so that by the time the fund get into your account you will not have any kind of problem with your bank or your government at all. if my lawyer obtain the documents i will forward it to you, make sure that your line is on fax .you can go ahead and send your full banking information to me so that i can submitt it to the bank in other for them to release the fund into your account without wasting much time. i wait to hear from you. regards joel Bruce Banner Bonjour Messr. Joel, How are you mon ami? I am doing well, I am hard at work with another large-scale livestock venture. As you probably do not know, the process of raising and slaughtering chickens is highly inefficient, especially the slaughtering whick contaminates the chicken cages with salmonella. Presently my company is perfecting the slaughter process, through strangulation rather that bloodshed. We have commissioned forty farmers to test our process. As I write, the farmers are busy choking their chickens and carefully logging the results based upon speed and cleanliness. We feel that farmers who choke their chickens will be far more happy and productive than those who do not. Do people in your country choke their chickens? Well I think out venture will work out quite well, I'm so glad to be working with a tete-de-merde like yourself. Here is my bank information and I'll keep an eye out for your fax: J.P. Morgan Chase Bank ABA: 111-001-150 Swift: TCBKUS44 fax (01888-437-9902) Here's a little joke we have in the livestock profession: What do you call masturbating cattle?? Give up?? Beef Strokanoff - I like that one. Anyway let's move forward. Tu et la tete de mon neur, Bruce Banner Bad translation, meant to say "you are the head of my prick" Bruce Banner To: joeladetola@excite.com Date: Mon, 17 Nov 2003 12:37:34 -0800 (PST) Subject: Your call Mon Ami Joel, It was so good to speak to you at last. I will try to call as we agreed, but right now we are working on an extension to the water buffalo project which is work intensive. In order to cleanse the water buffalo filets of possible Mad Cow disease, were are testing a new sterilization process called "jerking". So far the results have made us all quite happy. Some of us work part-time, jerking the meat only a couple of hours per day, others like myself, sit around jerking the meat almost around the clock. This makes it very difficult to call but with email I can still use a free hand to reply to you at all hours. If you haven't thought about jerking your meat I can explain it to you and I'm sure you'll be happy with the process. Please let me know when the fax is sent, and ba fongool to you, which is a local expression for good luck, Bruce Banner No sense of humor in muguville, no typing skills either JOEL ADETOLA Received: from [216.139.180.26] Date: Tue, 18 Nov 2003 06:53:33 -0500 (EST) dear friend thanks for your mail,by today the documents will be ready and i will fax it to you so that you can understand more about what am say and what we are trying to do.once you receive the documents call on this mobile number 234-1-7762388. thanks joel Bruce Banner To: joeladetola@excite.com Date: Tue, 18 Nov 2003 11:04:01 -0800 (PST) Subject: Faxes received Amigo, I have received the sworn affidavit of claim and the affidavit of trust certificate and am awaiting the transfer of 30,000,000 USD into my account. I have been trying to call you at the number below, I keep getting a man's voice, then a loud tone, like a car backfiring, then silence. I await further instructions, you can call me on my cell or respondez by email, whichever you prefer. I will be immersed however in another project of high security. We are in the process of energizing a rather large, one-eyed monster, of proportions never seen until now. This involves a cross section of radiation and human stimulation and the near proximity of cho cha, which all must be carefully introduced to the surface of the organ in gradual doses. Because of the simultaneous occcurence of radiation and human intervention, as you may guess there is some danger involved. Of course I am protected by a radiation resistant suit, but, it is not all-encompassing and have to be careful of my movement. So please understand if at first I do not respondez to your call. As always, votre visage ressemble à mon âne, Bruce Banner Just can't resist hitting that caps lock key JOEL ADETOLA Subject: note this Received: from [216.139.180.26] Date: Wed, 19 Nov 2003 12:08:41 -0500 (EST) DEAR FRIEND THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL AND THE INFORMATION OF THE DOCUMENTS YOU HAVE RECEIVED FROM MY LAWYER,YOU CAN SEE THAT ALL WILL BE WELL WITH THIS TRANSACTION,YOU JUST HAVE TO KEEP IT TO YOURSELF FOR NOW. note that any moment from now the bank will be contacting you for the release of the fund into your account,once you hear from them you will have to tell me on time so that i can be telling you what to do or say to them so that you will not make any kind of mistake at all. they may contact you by fax or phone so if you get any information from them just tell me on time. regards joel Bruce Banner To: joeladetola@excite.com Date: Wed, 19 Nov 2003 15:17:40 -0800 (PST) Hola Joel, Thank you for keeping me abreast of the situation. I have not heard from them yet. I have some more exciting news to tell you but for now I must bid you adieu for mon wanger est attrapé dans la porte. Bese mi asno melenudo, (good tidings to you) Bruce Banner JOEL ADETOLA Received: from [216.139.180.26] Date: Thu, 20 Nov 2003 15:38:07 -0500 (EST) Dear Friend, Thank you for keeping intouch with me I want you to go ahead and with the Bank also I want you to call them or if they call you also still get back to me. Regards, Joel. Bruce Banner To: joeladetola@excite.com Date: Thu, 20 Nov 2003 13:32:52 -0800 (PST) Bonjour Mon Ami! For some reason, even though I am an accomplished scientist I cannot seem to manage the art of placing international phone calls. I tried calling the phone number on the fax machine. This time I was only able get through to a lady who only spoke what I assume was an indigenous African language (Unfortunately I am only a Latin linguist). I noticed a lot of background noise, almost as if the office was situated near an airport or train terminal. I did locate the following information for Ecobank: Head Office of Ecobank Nigeria Bank Name: Ecobank Nigeria URL: http://www.ecobank.com/ Email ecobankng@ecobank.com Street 2, Ajose Adeogun Street, P.O. Box 72688 City Victoria Island State Lagos Country Nigeria Phone (234) 01-2626710-7 Fax (234) 01-2616568 I will keep trying the number provided to me, I just want to let you know that I will attempt to contact the bank through email should I fail. I will wait for your approval first, of course, as I understand the privacy that is required in this matter. Perhaps it's better that you call me or telephone the bank on my behalf? Qué tipo del tonto lo hace me toma para (luck befalls all who respect it) Bruce Banner As you will later see that I can ask all I want, but I won't get a straight answer JOEL ADETOLA Received: from [216.139.180.26] Date: Fri, 21 Nov 2003 07:51:26 -0500 (EST) dear friend i got your mail,there is no need for you to call the numbers you forwarded to me you can call the direct number of the director which i got from the bank today his name is john kojo you can call him now and ask him anything about the fund. i wait to hear from you again regards joel Bruce Banner Dear Mr. Joel, Now I am somewhat confused. I told you I was having not much luck trying to reach John Kojo. I could not have been more clear about my difficulty. So in my frustration I called the Ecobank number I located on the Ecobank web site to try to locate Mr. Kojo through the company directory. Instead I was informed that information supplied on the fax document did not match any records of theirs. I am a trusting person, but I think the burden now lies on you to communicate to the necessary parties now that I've seemingly run into a dead end. To compound my frustration, the meat curing process has not worked as hoped. The farmers, who had told you were busy jerking their meat, have contracted a rapidly contagious virus of an unknown strain. The symptoms involve the growth of miniture horn-like protrusions on the sides of their heads, and they habitually fall asleep standing up. This is a difficult setback for me, please help me reach the proper authorities at the bank. Leche-moi bien mes p'tit poils frisés (In adversity on must have faith) Bruce Banner THE BANKER JUMPS IN, WITH CAPS ON OF COURSE!! MICHAEL SMITH (the "banker") Date: Sat, 22 Nov 2003 03:53:16 -0800 (PST) I AM MICHAEL SMITH OF ECO BANK OFF-SHORE PAYMENT CENTER LONDON. PLEASE YOU ARE ADVICE TO CONTACT ME IMMEDIATELY FOR THE RELEASE OF YOUR $30 MILLION PAYMENT. TEL#44-794-966-2770. PLEASE ENDAVOUR TO REACH ME ,I HAVE TRIED TO CALL WITHOUT NO RESPONSE. THANKS MICHAE SMITH Bruce Banner Date: Fri, 21 Nov 2003 09:52:39 -0800 (PST) Dear Ami Joel, I believe I just missed your call. Please call back. I was in a meeting with the farmers. As you may imagine they were pretty irate and wanted to end the research. I will NOT cow-tow to them, but this has been a tough day because usually du con, la joie (life is good). Bruce Banner JOEL ADETOLA Received: from [217.78.73.203] Date: Sat, 22 Nov 2003 14:03:01 -0500 (EST) DEAR FRIEND I NEVER TRY TO CALL AS YOU STATED IN YOUR MAIL.I HOPE IS NOT THE BANK THAT IS TRYING TO CALL YOU FIND OUT ALL ABOUT THE CALL AND GET BACK TO ME ON TIME. REGARDS JOEL Bruce Banner Mon Ami Joel, Holy Cow!! Did I do something wrong? Please forgive me! I am asking for you help. I am going to forward the message from the bank man. Please call him, I have had no luck making these calls as I have told you again. His name is Michael Smith. No escriba a máquina en mayúsculas, usted hijo feo de una cabra (you have my deepest, sincere apologies) Bruce Banner Bruce Banner To: "MICHAEL SMITH" <michaelsmithbank@yahoo.com> DEAR SENOR SMITH, PLEASE CALL ME AT 34 616 XXX XXX AS SOON AS YOU ARE ABLE. DO NOT WORRY ABOUT THE CHARGES, YOU MAY INVOICE ME . THIS IS A VERY IMPORTANT MATTER. I NORMALLY DO NOT TYPE IN CAPITAL LETTERS BUT LIKE YOURSELF I BELIEVE IT IS PROPER FOR OFFICIAL BUSINESS. I WOULD CALL YOU BUT I AM HAVING TROUBLE WITH PHONING YOUR BANK. THIS IS A PRIVATE MATTER AND I DO NOT WANT TO RISK BRINGING IT TO THE ATTENTION OF A UNCONCERNED PARTY. USTED TRABAJA EN UN BANCO COMO MIS TRABAJO DE SCHNAUZER EN UN BANCO (SEC 3 PART 2). Bruce Banner Bruce Banner Date: Sat, 22 Nov 2003 15:07:05 -0800 (PST) Dear Mr. Joel, This is the bank man, please call him because I don't want to do the wrong thing again. Je ne puis pas attendre tout cet argent faux(please do this, we are so close) Bruce Banner JOEL ADETOLA Received: from [217.78.73.203] Mon, 24 Nov 2003 04:10:34 EST From: "Joel" <joeladetola@excite.com> DEAR FRIEND THANKS FOR THE MAIL AND THE INFORMATION YOU SENT TO REGARDING TO THE CONTACT FROM THE OFF-SHORE OFFICE IN LONDON AM SO PLEASE WITH YOU FOR INFORMATION ABOUT IT,YOU CAN SEE THAT THINGS IS WORKING OUT FOR US YOU WILL HAVE TO DO ALL YOU CAN TO CALL THE PERSON ON THE NUMBER GIVEN TO YOU SO THAT THEY CAN TELL WHAT NEXT TO DO SO THAT I WILL KNOW WHAT TO SAY TO YOU AS WELL. FOLLOW THE INSTRUCTIONS SO THAT WE CAN COLLECT THIS FUND ON TIME.CALL HIM AND GET BACK TO ME ON TIME I WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON. REGARDS JOEL Bruce Banner Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2003 08:05:52 -0800 (PST) Mon Ami Joel, MR. SMITH FROM THE BANK UNDERSTANDS THAT IT HAS BEEN DIFFICULT FOR ME TO REACH HIM. HE CALLED ME AND WE HAD A VERY NICE CONVERSATION, I BELIEVE THE MONEY WILL BE TRANSFERRED SOONEST. I BELIEVE THAT SINCE YOU ARE TYPING IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS YOU HAVE A PROBLEM WITH YOUR EYESIGHT. YO LO APUESTO TIENE PALMAS PELUDAS TAMBIEN (YOU ARE AN UNDERSTANDING PARTNER). Bruce Banner MICHAEL SMITH (the "banker") Date: Mon, 24 Nov 2003 05:07:06 -0800 (PST) From: "MICHAEL SMITH" <michaelsmithbank@yahoo.com> I AM IN RECIEPT OF YOUR CORRESPONDENCE. INFACT I WILL CALL YOU AS SOON AS POSSIBLE TO ENABLE YOU FINALIZE THIS MATTER. BEST REGARDS, MICHAEL SMITH Bruce Banner Date: Tue, 25 Nov 2003 08:29:52 -0800 (PST) DEAR SENOR SMITH, ARE WE PROGRESSING WITH THE FUNDS PAYMENT? Bruce Banner Where'd this goofball come from?? Looking for love in all the wrong places Received: from [81.130.82.120] Date: Tue, 25 Nov 2003 07:31:14 -0800 (PST) From: "Tee Nnamdi" teeman2002ng@yahoo.com Subject: SEEKING TO ESTABLISH A FRIENDLY RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU To: teeman2002ng@yahoo.com DEAR, I AM TONY, I HAIL FROM NIGERIA AND BASED IN ENGLAND{LONDON}. YOUR MAIL ADDRESS HAPPEN TO FALL INTO MY MAIL BOX AS A BULK MAIL AND I WAS FASCINATED WITH THE MAIL ADDRESS. HOWEVER I WILL LIKE TO ESTABLISH A FRIENDLY RELATIONSHIP WITH YOU. WHICH PART OF THE WORLD ARE YOU FROM?,ARE YOU A MAN OR A WOMAN? IF YOU ARE A WOMAN, I WILL APPRECIATE IT THE MORE.PLEASE I WILL LIKE TO KNOW. ALL THE SAME I BASE IN ENGLAND{LONDON} SO LET ME KNOW THE PART OF THE WORLD WHERE YOU COME FROM SO THAT WE WILL BE ABLE TO COMMUNICATE EASILY.MY PHONE NUMBER IS +447932681061 I AM A YOUNG MAN, 29YRS. OF AGE ,TALL AND A LITTLE BIT FAIR IN COMPLEXION AND PLEASE LET ME KNOW MORE ABOUT YOU IF POSSIBLE,SEND YOUR PICTURE TO ME. THANK YOU AND MAY GOD BLESS YOU.EXPECTING YOUR IMMEDIATE RESPONSE. YOURS, TONY. __________________________________ Do you Yahoo!? Protect your identity Bruce Banner Date: Tue, 25 Nov 2003 08:27:27 -0800 (PST) To: "Tee Nnamdi" Dear Sir, I am a man, so you will need to take your romantic overtures elsewhere. JOEL ADETOLA Received: from [216.139.180.26] From: "Joel" <joeladetola@excite.com> Date: Tue, 25 Nov 2003 12:17:41 -0500 (EST) dear friend thanks for you mail and your full understanding so far,is good that you have open up communication with the off-shore office just try as much as you can to do all they will ask you to do so that we can get the fund on time and than after we can come down to you country for the sharing and investing of the fund. i wait for more information from you, regards joel Bruce Banner Date: Tue, 25 Nov 2003 10:14:24 -0800 (PST) Dear Ami Joel, I have contacted the bank, and all I can do is wait for action from them. I would have been more attentive had I not been concentrated on what is in all respects the most important development in food production in the hisory of the world. I will divulge this into your confidence, and will tell you that when we obtain the money from the bank this is the only project I would consider investing it. Historic testing has long shown that it is possible to transplant the internal reproductive organs of a bull to a cow. Up until now tself-reproduction had been attempted many times, with no positive results. Through a patent we are developing we have discovered that the flaw occurred during the gestation period, not fertilzation, and we now have several viable embryos 60% formed. Do you know what this means sir? We will be able to cut the resources needed to produce beef by 50% and we will virtually eliminate the transfer of mad cow disease that occurs in the breeding process!! Dear Sir I hope you recognize the importance of this, and understand that the transfer of these large amount of funds is only one of the important undertakings I am currently involved in. Of course we will be able to multiply that amount tenfold once my research nears completion. Let's hope the bank acts quickly. Vamos verle intentar crear esa clase de mierda del toro, (I have entrusted you with great knowledge, use it wisely) Bruce Banner JOEL ADETOLA Received: from [216.139.180.26] From: "Joel" <joeladetola@excite.com> Date: Wed, 26 Nov 2003 03:05:00 -0500 (EST) dear friend i will be waiting to hear from yopu but you can still call them and ask them when will the fund get into your account. waiting . joel Bruce Banner Date: Wed, 26 Nov 2003 07:34:06 -0800 (PST) Hello Mr. Joel!!! I want you to know I had a very nice conversation with the banker, Mr. Smith. He said things are going well, but he requires payment of administration fees to execute the transfers. I thought this to be rather strange, especially since it ought to be very easy for him to deduct whatever we agree on from the fund. To be honest, paying some trivial fee is not a problem for me. I propose you, Mr. Joel as as partners, we split whatever fees are required by the bank. I will find out from the banker what is required and we can arrange payment. Je souhaite mettre un manche a balet dans votre trou de balles(You and I will be partners as in a ballet) Bruce Banner Bruce Banner My dear Mr. Smith, Thank you for your kind call. I have total faith that you are a competent man and can get this transaction climaxed in a soonest fashion. Please let me know what sort of fees we are talking about, and the manner of payment. As we discussed, a loan would be preferable but it is important that we do not let minor obstacles hold up the process. Un mono retardado es más listo que usted( Sloth is the devil's tool) Bruce Banner JOEL ADETOLA Received: from [217.78.73.203] From: "Joel" <joeladetola@excite.com> Date: Wed, 26 Nov 2003 15:02:55 -0500 (EST) dear friend i got your mail and i am pleased with you with all the information you are given me so far,thing will work out soon.i had all you stated on your mail,i will do my best but i know for now it will not be all that easy for me now,i have spend all the money i have to get to this stage and for all the paper works. get back to the bank and tell what next to do,i wait to hear from you soonest. regards joel MICHAEL SMITH (the "banker") Date: Thu, 27 Nov 2003 04:04:49 -0800 (PST) From: "MICHAEL SMITH" <michaelsmithbank@yahoo.com> Bruce Banner,I WILL SHORTLY GET BACK TO YOU, BECAUSE I HAVE NOT CONCLUDE ON THE LOAN. REGARDS MICHAEL SMITH JOEL ADETOLA Received: from [81.199.83.54] <--- ? From: "Joel" <joeladetola@excite.com> Date: Thu, 27 Nov 2003 07:26:13 -0500 (EST) dear friend am still waiting to hear from you again,how far have you gone with the off-shore office and have try to call them,update me now. regards joel Bruce Banner Date: Fri, 28 Nov 2003 07:41:56 -0800 (PST) Mon Ami Joel! There has been nothing new to tell you. I am waiting for the bank man to tell me what happens next. Bruce Banner JOEL ADETOLA Received: from [81.199.83.54] From: "Joel" <joeladetola@excite.com> Date: Fri, 28 Nov 2003 03:09:35 -0500 (EST) dear friend am still waiting to hear from you again joel JOEL ADETOLA Received: from [216.139.180.26] From: "Joel" <joeladetola@excite.com> Date: Fri, 28 Nov 2003 10:55:03 -0500 (EST) dear friend i got your mail i will be waiting to hear from you soon. regards joel JOEL ADETOLA Received: from [216.139.180.26] From: "Joel" <joeladetola@excite.com> Date: Mon, 1 Dec 2003 02:51:24 -0500 (EST) dear friend am still waiting to hear from you again .i you had anything from the london office am worried here. joel Bruce Banner Date: Mon, 1 Dec 2003 07:13:33 -0800 (PST) Mon Ami Joel, The bank is trying to send a fax. I will update you when I receive it. Gracias, yo no dejaría mi trabajo de día si era usted(this is a long road we've travelled), Bruce Banner MICHAEL SMITH (the "banker") PLEASE WE HAVE BEEN TRYING TO SEND A FAX TO YOU BUT IT WAS GO THROUGH FROM YOUR END. CHECK YOUR FAX MECHINE. THANKS MIKE Bruce Banner Date: Mon, 1 Dec 2003 11:17:51 -0800 (PST) DEAR MIKE, PLEASE EXPLAIN WHAT IS HOLDING UP THE FUNDS TRANSFER. THANK YOU, Bruce Banner Bruce Banner Date: Mon, 1 Dec 2003 07:08:03 -0800 (PST) To: "MICHAEL SMITH" DEAR SIR, I DID NOT RECEIVE THE FAX. MY FAX NUMBER IS: 1-661-554-XXXX JOEL ADETOLA Received: from [192.116.66.219] From: "Joel" <joeladetola@excite.com> Date: Mon, 1 Dec 2003 16:33:24 -0500 (EST) dear friend thanksfor theinformation you sent,am pleased to hear that once you get any information from the bank update me. regards joel Bruce Banner Date: Tue, 2 Dec 2003 13:30:12 -0800 (PST) Subject: Caution Mon Ami Joel, I have confirmed a meeting with the bank. Unfortunately I have not been able to confirm that the company name and address given is authentic. I have friends in London who are checking the information for me. I have not told them why I need to know, just that I need to transfer some retirement funds to the bank. One of my friends will go down to the address on the bank form tomorrow. He did tell me that the telephone exchange is one that allows the call to be rerouted to another number automatically, and also the phone number generates income for the person who owns the number. This is all highly suspicious to me. I said I was interested in this affair, I never said I was a fool. Hopefully everything will be cleared, but I felt it was important that you are prepared. Arriba la nariz con una manga de caucho(forewarned is forearmed) Bruce Banner Bruce Banner Date: Tue, 2 Dec 2003 06:09:25 -0800 (PST) DEAR MR.SMITH, I AM IN RECEIPT OF YOUR FAX. I AM ARRANGING TO HAVE 11,500 LB. STERLING (OR THE EQUIVALENT IN EUROS) RELEASED TO CONTINENTAL OFFSHORE FINANCE LTD. CONTINGENT UPON TRANSFER OF THE BANK BALANCE INTO MY ACCOUNT. WOULD YOU PREFER A CHECK TO BE DRAFTED OR DO YOU HAVE A ROUTING NUMBER AND ACCOUNT NUMBER WHERE THE FEE WILL BE DEPOSITED? I WILL CONTACT THE BANK DIRECTLY ON THIS ALSO. I AM ALSO TRYING TO PURCHASE AIRLINE TICKETS. I WILL CONFIRM THE APPOINTMENT UPON BOOKING. GRACIAS, ESTO ES DONDE LA DIVERSION EMPIEZA(THE SEAL OF A WELL-EXECUTED TRANSACTION), Bruce Banner Bruce Banner Date: Tue, 2 Dec 2003 06:11:22 -0800 (PST) Mon Ami Joel, I have received word from the bank. If all goes well the transaction will be completed on Dec. 5th. Bruce Banner Bruce Banner Date: Tue, 2 Dec 2003 09:39:17 -0800 (PST) Subject: CONFIRMATION To: "MICHAEL SMITH" <michaelsmithbank@yahoo.com> MY DEAR SIR, I HAVE MADE TRAVEL ARRANGEMENTS TO ARRIVE IN LONDON THE EVENING OF THE 4TH. PLEASE ARRANGE A CONVENIENT TIME WITH THE OFFSHORE COMPANY ON THE 5TH AND I WILL BE SURE TO MEET AT THE CANARY WHARF ADDRESS INDICATED ON THE FAX. GRACIAS, Bruce Banner JOEL ADETOLA Received: from [216.139.180.26] Date: Wed, 3 Dec 2003 03:33:57 -0500 (EST) daer friend thanks for your mails,note that you are not to tell anyone about the fund for now until the fund gets to you, i don't want anyone to steal from us,the fund is just for the investment if the fund is not real why will i be wasting my time and money on this transaction,you will have to believe me and do as the bank says for now,i know that is not all your friend will like you to make more money in life. follow the bank way and the fund will be with you in a short while. i look forward to hearing from so that i will know when and how you will collect the fund. regards joel Simple internet search shows fake bank address, phone numbers that pay the callee by the minute, no trace of "Continental Offshore Bank" It's incredible how boneheadedly stupid this guy is. Bruce Banner Date: Wed, 3 Dec 2003 07:26:31 -0800 (PST) DEAR SENOR SMITH, THE BANK INFORMATION IN LONDON DOES NOT CHECK OUT. I WILL NOT BE GOING TO LONDON BECAUSE I FOUND OUT THE BANK SIMPLY DOESN'T EXIST. I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE PROBLEM IS, BUT AT THIS POINT IN TIME I CANNOT PROCEED FURTHER. PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT I MUST BE ENTIRELY COMFORTABLE WITH THE TRANSACTION BEFORE PROCEEDING. TRAVELLING ABROAD WITH A LARGE SUM OF MONEY TO AN UNTRACEABLE, NONEXISTENT BANK IS NOT SOMETHING I AM INCLINED TO DO. I CAN ELABORATE FURTHER BUT IT APPEARS TO ME THAT SOMEONE IS TRYING TO CREATE AN ILLUSION OF A LEGITIMATE COMPANY. AS AN EXPERIENCED BUSINESSMAN, THIS IS IN VIOLATION OF MY BUSINESS PRINCIPLES. Bruce Banner Bruce Banner Date: Wed, 3 Dec 2003 07:47:33 -0800 (PST) Subject: Please pay attention Mon Ami Joel, I cannot get through to the bank, my telephone company says they block calls to +44 870 numbers. In the meantime everything is on hold. I have no proof the bank in London exists so until I have proof I will not be going. I haven't told anyone else about the fund, so you don't have to worry. I told Mr. Smith to correct the situation. ¿Cómo mantiene usted un asno en la ansiedad? Yo lo diré luego.(Hear everyone, trust no one) Gracias, Bruce Banner Bruce Banner Date: Wed, 3 Dec 2003 08:42:23 -0800 (PST) DEAR MR. SMITH, IT WAS NICE SPEAKING TO YOU. I WILL MEET AT THE BANK ADDRESS ON FRIDAY WITH THE MONEY IN EUROS. DON'T WORRY HOW I WILL GET THERE, DON'T WORRY ABOUT MY DESCRIPTION. I DON'T NEED AN ESCORT FROM THE AIRPORT. I HAVE BEEN TO LONDON MANY TIMES AND HAVE NO DIFFICULTY FINDING MY WAY AROUND. IF THE ADDRESS IS INCORRECT, PLEASE TELL ME NOW AND I WILL VERIFY. I AM HAVING THE MONEY TRANSFERRED TO LONDON. AFTER I MEET WITH THE BANK WITH BANK REPRESENTATIVE AND VIEW THE PAPERS I NEED TO SIGN, IF I AM COMFORTABLE WITH THE SITUATION I WILL RETURN TO THE BANK WITH THE MONEY. I AM ALSO GOING TO VISIT WITH AN OLD FRIEND WHEN I AM IN LONDON, SO I AM NOT CONCERNED IF THIS IS JUST A WASTE OF TIME. IF THE BANK ADDRESS DOESN'T EXIST I WILL RETURN HOME AFTER MY VISIT AND YOU WILL NOT HEAR FROM ME AGAIN. I HOPE I HAVE MADE MYSELF CLEAR. Bruce Banner What the hell, a fake trip to London is in order. Note how stupid this guy is, he pays no attention to any details, even when it would be to his own benefit. Bruce Banner Date: Wed, 3 Dec 2003 10:08:56 -0800 (PST) Mon Ami Joel, I decide to go to London after all. I am staying with a good friend who doensn't know the nature of this affair. Unfortuantely, the bank location does not exist. I have contacted the bank person who understands the situation and knows he must provide valid information. The bank must be a legitimate bank, in a prestigious neighborhood like Canary Wharf. I have no intention to travel to a high-crime neighborhood, I have to look out for my own safety as I always do when I carry a large sum of money. I am very suspicious of this whole affair. It has been a month and I have not seen one penny yet, so I am not going to be free and easy with the amount they are requesting from me. If things do not work out Friday you will need to go elsewhere for assistance. I hope my suspicions are unfounded. Bruce Banner JOEL ADETOLA Received: from [216.139.180.26] From: "Joel" <joeladetola@excite.com> Date: Wed, 3 Dec 2003 11:33:08 -0500 (EST) dear friend thanks for your mail and for not telling anyone about the transaction for now.it will be good if you can get him on phone because the information i got from john ojo here through my lawyer was that the london office had been trying to reach you as well if you have his email address mail him and ask any question you want to ask so that you can know more about him and his dealing . i wait to hear from you soon. regards joel JOHN KOJO (another "banker") Subject: PAYMENT NOTIFICATION From: johnkojo@macmail.com Date: Wed, 03 Dec 2003 18:44:12 +0000 FROM THE DESK OF MR JOHN KOJO ECO BANK OF NIGERIA PLC LAGOS NIGERIA TEL:234-1-7765148 ATTEN: Bruce Banner REFERENCE TO THE APPLICATION SUBMITTED TO THIS HONOURABLE OFFICE FOR THE RELEASE OF YOUR FUND VALUED 30 MILLION DOLLARS INTO YOUR DESIGNATED BANK ACCOUNT. THIS MORNING I RECIEVED A TELEPHONE CALL FROM OUR DELEGATE THAT YOU WILL BE VISITING LONDON UK FOR THE COLLECTION OF YOUR FUND. YOU ARE FURTHER ADVICED TO FURNISH THIS OFFICE WITH EVERY DETAILS INFORMATION REGARDING YOUR DISCUSSION WITH MR MICHEAL SMITH AND YOUR FLIGHT SCHEDULE. TREAT URGENT YOURS FAITHFULLY MR JOHN KOJO DIRECTOR ECO BANK PLC So nice he sent it twice Bruce Banner Date: Thu, 4 Dec 2003 07:40:41 -0800 (PST) DEAR MR. KOJO, I WILL BE ARRIVING IN LONDON THIS EVENING. I ASSUME THAT BY NEEDING MY FLIGHT SCHEDULE YOUR COMPANY WILL BE PAYING FOR THE TICKETS? IT'S TOO LATE, THEY ARE ALREADY PAID FOR. I WILL HAVE THE ADMINISTATION FEE AND WILL BE READY TO SIGN THE PAPERS TOMORROW. ALL MR. SMITH NEEDS TO DO IS PROVIDE ME WITH A VALID BANK ADDRESS IN LONDON AND A TIME FOR ME TO BE AT THE OFFICE. I HAVE ALREADY MADE THE ARRANGEMENTS FOR GETTING TO AND AROUND LONDON. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO REIMBURSE ME FOR THE TRAVEL EXPENSES THAT WOULD BE FINE BUT WHOLLY UNNECESSARY. THANK YOU, Bruce Banner Bruce Banner Date: Thu, 4 Dec 2003 10:38:42 -0800 (PST) Subject: FLIGHT INFORMATION To: michaelsmithbank@yahoo.com, johnkojo@macmail.com DEAR SIRS, PLEASE NOTE THAT I WILL BE FLYING INTO LONDON TONIGHT: EASYJET FLIGHT 2270 DEPARTS BARCELONA AT 21:55, ARRIVES LONDON LUTON AT 23:20 AS I HAVE NOT HEARD FROM YOU, MY FRIEND WILL BE PICKING ME UP AT THE AIRPORT, I WILL BE STAYING AT HIS HOUSE FOR THE NEXT SEVERAL DAYS. PLEASE EMAIL THE BANK INFORMATION AND TIME AND I WILL BE THERE TOMORROW. Bruce Banner Bruce Banner Date: Thu, 4 Dec 2003 10:50:25 -0800 (PST) Subject: Very Important Mon Ami Joel, I shall arrive in London tonight. I shall be staying with a friend and plan to go to the bank tomorrow. The major problem is I don't have a valid address for the bank. Mr. Smith has not been listening to me. He is very generous with smiles and big talk, but he is scarce with facts. This is a bad combination to me. I think there is something very wrong with this affair, that you may have been fooled. If he does not get me the information I very specifically requested by tomorrow morning then after tomorrow I will no longer persue this transaction. I have done everything reasonable, even travelling abroad to appear at the bank. Mr. Smith thinks that I am desparate enough to compromise my safety but he is very wrong in this regard. I am taking appropriate precautions to assure that nothing unfortuanate shall happen to me, at the same time not compromising the confidentiality we discussed. Bruce Banner Bruce Banner Date: Thu, 4 Dec 2003 12:33:04 -0800 (PST) Subject: PLEASE PROVIDE THE NAME AND ADDRESS OF THE BANK, AND A TIME TO MEET To: michaelsmithbank@yahoo.com DEAR MR. SMITH, I WILL BE BOARDING A PLANE IN ONE HOUR'S TIME TO LONDON. YOU HAVE NOT YET SATISFIED MY REASONABLE REQUEST BELOW. PLEASE UNDERSTAND WHEN I AGREED TO TRAVEL TO LONDON, I ENVISIONED STROLLING DOWN CANARY WHARF INTO A WELL-ESTABLISHED FINANCIAL INSTITUTION, BRIGHT AND AIRY, FRIENDLY SECRETARIES, A HIGHLY PROFESSIONAL ENVIRONMENT. I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO CONFIRM THE INFORMATION YOU PROVIDED ME. PLEASE NOTE THAT YOU ARE EXPECTING ME TO RELINQUISH THE SECURE, FAMILIAR EVENTS THAT I ANTICIPATED. YOU EXPECT ME TO GET INTO A CAR WITH SOMEONE I DO NOT KNOW, WITH A LARGE SUM OF MONEY. I FIND IT HARD TO BELIEVE THAT YOU CANNOT SEE THAT I WOULD NOT BE COMFORTABLE WITH THAT. IT IS YOUR RESPONSIBLITY TO PROVIDE ME WITH THE CORRECT NAME AND ADDRESS OF THE BANK. I WILL THEN TRAVEL TO THE BANK, AND IF THE ADDRESS YOU PROVIDE DOES NOT APPEAR TO BE IN A SAFE LOCATION, AND I AM FAMILIAR WITH LONDON TO MAKE THAT DETERMINATION, THEN I WILL CONTINUE ON MY VACATION AND ABANDON THE BUSINESS WE HAVE AT HAND. YOU ARE A VERY FRIENDLY MAN ON THE TELEPHONE BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU HAVE NOT PROVIDED ME WITH THE NAME AND ADDRESS OF THE BANK. IF YOU DO NOT YIELD ME THIS MOST SIMPLE REQUEST THEN I CAN ONLY CONCLUDE YOUR INTENTIONS ARE FAR FROM SINCERE. I HOPE I AM MISTAKEN, ONLY YOU CAN MAKE THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION HAPPEN. HAVE A VERY GOOD DAY, Bruce Banner JOHN KOJO (another "banker") Subject: TREAT URGENT SIR From: johnkojo@macmail.com Date: Thu, 04 Dec 2003 19:30:20 +0000 FROM THE DESK OF MR JOHN KOJO ECO BANK PLC TEL:234-1-7765148 ATTN: Bruce Banner I ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECIEPT OF YOUR MAIL. I HAVE SENT A NOTIFICATION TO OUR DELEGATE IN (LONDON) UNITED KINGDOM CONCERNING YOUR ARRIVAL AT THE AIRPORT.OUR OFFICIALS WILL BE PICKING YOU UP AT THE AIRPORT TO OUR PAY-CENTER IN LONDON. YOU ARE ADVICED TO ALWAYS KEEP ME IN TOUCH SHOULD YOU FIND ANYTHING DIFFICULT.ADEQUATE ARRANGMENT HAS BEEN PUT IN PLACE CONCERNING YOUR VISIT. THEY WILL BE ASSISTING YOU WHEN YOU ARRIVE LONDON,MAKING SURE YOU SIGN THE NECCESARY DOCUMENTS,AND WIRING YOUR FUND TO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT BEFORE YOUR DEPARTURE FROM LONDON TO YOUR COUNTRY. CONGRATULATION IN ADVANCE. YOURS FAITHFULLY. MR JOHN KOJO ECO BANK PLC Bruce Banner Date: Fri, 5 Dec 2003 03:57:22 -0800 (PST) Subject: Nigerian 419 Scam artist wants to meet me in London Hotel room To: fraud.alert@met.police.uk Dear London Fraud alert person, There is a 419 scammer in London who wants to meet me today in a hotel room to bring me a very large sum of money. He thinks I'm a businessman from Barcelona visiting a friend. He originally offered to pick me up at an airport in London, but I turned that down. 1) I am nowhere near London 2) I have no intention of meeting this low-life at anytime, ever. 3) He thinks I'm in London get itching to give him 11,500 euros for his "Administration" fee. 4) I know I should just ignore the scam emails but I absolutely loathe con-artists and I love wasting their time. Would you like to arrest this person? I have emails to support my claim. We have not made an appointment yet. His "name" is Desmond Doba or "Michael Smith". His number is 44 779 688 3113 or 44 870 064 4038 He claims to work for Continental Offshore Finance LTD 108, church road, Canary Wharf, London, ECW1 2FC a company, which I believe only exists in his own mind his email addresses are: cofl2000@excite.com ddoba2003@yahoo.co.uk johnkojo@macmail.com michaelsmithbank@yahoo.com and joeladetola@excite.com The fraud police never responded, probably too busy digesting their donuts [Bruce may say so, but we couldn't possibly comment.] JOHN KOJO (another "banker") Date: Fri, 05 Dec 2003 07:34:52 +0000 ATTN: Bruce Banner YOU ARE ADVICED TO KEEP IN CLOSE CONTACTS WITH OUR DELEGATE WHEN YOU ARRIVAL LONDON,ALREADY THEY HAVE BEEN ADVICED TO GIVE YOU EVERY NECCESARY ASSISTANCE REGARDING YOUR FUND. AS SOON AS YOU SIGN THE CLASSIFIED DOCUMENTS YOUR FUND WILL BE TRANSFER IMMEDIATELY INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT BEFORE YOUR DEPARTURE FROM LONDON TO YOUR COUNTRY. YOUR FAITHFULLY MR JOHN KOJO ECO BANK PLC With frieends like this, who needs enemies? JOEL ADETOLA Received: from [216.139.180.26] From: "Joel" <joeladetola@excite.com> Date: Fri, 5 Dec 2003 04:02:02 -0500 (EST) ear frieend thanks for your mail,let me know as soon as you are in london,please keep this transaction to yourself until you collect the fund. just do all the bank man want you to do so that we can collect the fund even if he want to bring the money to you in your hotel room ,but make sure you collect the money from him. i wait to hear from you soon. regards joel Bruce Banner Date: Fri, 5 Dec 2003 11:05:42 -0800 (PST) To: johnkojo@macmail.com DEAR SIR, I ALREADY ARRIVED IN LONDON AND I AM STAYING AT THE HOME OF A FRIEND UNTIL MONDAY. I DO NOT NEED ANY HELP. ALL I NEED IS THE NAME AND ADDRESS OF THE PAY CENTER WHERE I WILL SIGN THE PAPERS. I WENT TO THE ADDRESS OF CONTINENTAL OFFSHORE, WHICH DOESN'T EXIST. I HAVE BEEN CARRYING A LOT OF MONEY WITH ME, SO I AM CONCERNED FOR MY SAFETY. PLEASE PROVIDE A SAFE LOCATION FOR ME TO SIGN THE PAPERS AND I WILL FIND MY OWN TRANSPORTATION THERE. Bruce Banner Bruce Banner Date: Fri, 5 Dec 2003 11:15:29 -0800 (PST) Mon Ami Joel, I have to tell you that this transaction is dead. I went to the location of Continental Offshore, the bank listed on the fax that was sent to me, and it doesn't exist. A happy man keeps calling me on my cell phone, he expects to meet me alone in a hotel room. I am not staying at a hotel, I am staying at a friend's house. I will do it, but only if I can bring my friend, who is a security official and a martial arts expert. However I agreed to you not to tell him and I have not, which I think is better. Another bank official tells me that I need to appear at the pay center here in London, where I will sign papers so I can have the money wired to me. I would be happy to go to the pay center, I have a vehicle at my disposal and can drive there myself. But I have been asking for three days very clearly for the name and location of the pay center and none has been provided. To be 100 percent honest with you, I don't want to proceed any further with this, I fear for my safety . Bruce Banner Bruce Banner Date: Fri, 5 Dec 2003 11:18:18 -0800 (PST) To: johnkojo@macmail.com DEAR SIR, I HAVE A VEHICLE AT MY DISPOSAL AND I KNOW MY WAY AROUND LONDON. PLEASE GIVE ME THE NAME AND ADDRESS OF THE PAY CENTER AND I WILL DRIVE THERE MYSELF. PLEASE DO NOT HAVE THAT HAPPY MAN CALL ME ON THE PHONE, HE DOESN'T LISTEN TO ANYTHING I SAY, HE'S TOO HAPPY WITH HIMSELF. Bruce Banner Bruce Banner Date: Fri, 5 Dec 2003 11:39:15 -0800 (PST) Mon Ami Joel, Please do not write me again on this affair. Unless I get a real name and address of the pay center, it is officially dead. Bruce Banner Bruce Banner Date: Fri, 5 Dec 2003 11:41:47 -0800 (PST) Subject: VERY URGENT To: johnkojo@macmail.com DEAR SIR, PLEASE GIVE ME A REAL NAME AND ADDRESS OF THE PAY CENTER. NO CHANGE OF PLANS, EXCUSES, ETC. ARE ACCEPTABLE. Bruce Banner Bruce Banner Date: Fri, 5 Dec 2003 11:54:00 -0800 (PST) Subject: VERY VERY URGENT To: "MICHAEL SMITH" <michaelsmithbank@yahoo.com> DEAR SIR, PLEASE GIVE ME A REAL NAME AND ADDRESS OF THE PAY CENTER. DO NOT TRY TO CALL ME. AS YOU MAY HAVE GUESSED, I HAVE NO PRIVACY ON THE PHONE AND HAVE TO BE CAREFUL WHAT I SAY SO I DON'T AROUSE SUSPICION. ALL I CAN DO IS AGREE WITH YOU, BUT THAT IS NOT MY TRUE MEANING. I WILL ONLY MEET YOU AT THE PAY CENTER. YOU HAVE BEEN IGNORING MY REQUEST FOR THREE DAYS. YOU WILL GET NO SATISFACTION BY CALLING ME. THE FAX YOU SENT ME FOR CONTINENTAL OFFSHORE LISTS A COMPANY THAT DOES NOT EXIST. I DROVE TO CANARY WHARF AND IT IS NOT THERE. IT IS NOT LISTED IN THE PHONE BOOK. PLEASE SEND REAL INFORMATION AND I WILL CHECK IT OUT THOROUGHLY BEFORE WALKING IN. CALLING ME IS A WASTE OF TIME. I WILL HAVE TO AGREE WITH EVERYTHING YOU SAY ON THE PHONE, BUT MY ACTIONS WILL NOT FOLLOW. DO NOT PUT STOCK IN OUR PHONE CONVERSATIONS I HOPE I HAVE MADE MYSELF CLEAR. THERE IS NO OTHER CHOICE, I WILL ABANDON THIS EFFORT ONCE AND FOR ALL IF I DO NOT HAVE THE INFORMATION BY MIDNIGHT THIS EVENING. I WILL ACCEPT NO EXCUSE AND NO CHANGE OF PLANS. HAVE A GOOD DAY SIR, Bruce Banner JOEL ADETOLA Received: from [192.116.66.219] From: "Joel" <joeladetola@excite.com> Date: Fri, 5 Dec 2003 13:29:58 -0500 (EST) dear friend i am waiting to hear from you so that i will know how far you have gone with the london office for now. i wait for hear from you. regards joel This guy is mindnumbingly dense JOHN KOJO (another "banker") Subject: FINAL PAYMENT NOTIFICATION From: johnkojo@macmail.com Date: Fri, 05 Dec 2003 18:42:44 +0000 FROM THE DESK OF MR JOHN KOJO ECO BANK PLC TEL:234-1-7765148 ATTN: Bruce Banner I HAVE JUST RECIEVE A SIGNAL FROM OUR DELEGATE IN LONDON THAT YOU HAVE NOT COLLECT YOUR FUND WHICH IS DUE FOR RELEASE INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT. YOU HAVE TO CALL OUR DELEGATE IN LONDON TO DISCUSS WITH THEM ON HOW YOU ARE GOING TO SIGN THE FUND RELEASE ORDER BEFORE THE EFFECTULA TRANSFER OF YOUR FUND INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT. YOU ARE TO TREAT URGENT FOR OUR DELEGATE WILL MOVE TO ASIA ON THE 12/12/2003 FOR OTHER BENEFICIARRIES WHO ARE DUE FOR PAYMENT. YOURS FAITHFULLY MR JOHN KOJO ECO BANK PLC JOEL ADETOLA Received: from [81.23.204.210] Date: Sat, 6 Dec 2003 04:35:02 -0500 (EST) dear friend i will see what i can do about it and i will at the banking hall on monday and i get back to you so that you will know the next thing to do. regards joel JOHN KOJO (another "banker") To: "Bruce Banner" Subject: APPLICATION FOR TT From: johnkojo@macmail.com Date: Mon, 08 Dec 2003 17:46:47 +0000 ATTN: Bruce Banner WE ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECIEPT OF YOUR MAIL. WE HAVE JUST CONCLUDED OUR MEETING CONCERNING YOUR FUND WHICH IS DUE FOR PAYMENT.THIS OFFICE WISH TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU HAVE THE OPTION TO APPLY FOR TT INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT. WE AWAIT YOUR URGENT REPLY. YOURS FAITHFULLY MR JOHN KOJO ECO BANK PLC Am I supposed to know what a TT is? JOEL ADETOLA Received: from [192.116.66.219] From: "Joel" <joeladetola@excite.com> Date: Tue, 9 Dec 2003 03:26:06 -0500 (EST) dear friend i am doing my best to get some information from the bank,i hope to get back to soon.just hold on for now. joel JOEL ADETOLA Subject: good news Received: from [216.139.180.26] Date: Thu, 11 Dec 2003 03:25:02 -0500 (EST) dear friend i have to get back to you so late due to the fact that i want to make sure that you get all the right informtion about the fund.my lawyer told me today that all will be well with the transaction again and that the ecobank will get back to you soon with a perfact solution in other for you to get the fund into your account. please as soon as they contact you let know,sorry about all this perblem. regards joel Bruce Banner Date: Thu, 11 Dec 2003 06:34:58 -0800 (PST) To: joeladetola@excite.com We had the perfect solution. The bank fucked it up. They are a group of incompetent limp-dick assholes that have nothing better to do than to waste people's time. And you're very stupid yourself. Go away. Maybe this'll wake him up Bruce Banner Date: Thu, 11 Dec 2003 06:37:12 -0800 (PST) Subject: Re: APPLICATION FOR TT To: johnkojo@macmail.com WHAT HAPPENED TO THE PAY CENTER YOU FUCKING MORON? I WASTED A TRIP TO LONDON. GO FUCK YOURSELF. JOHN KOJO (another "banker") To: "Bruce Banner" Subject: WE ARE VERY SORRY From: johnkojo@macmail.com Date: Fri, 12 Dec 2003 18:23:01 +0000 FROM THE DESK OF JOHN KOJO ATTN: Bruce Banner THANKS FOR YOUR E-MAIL RESPONSE FOR THE RELEASE OF YOUR FUND. IT IS VERY WRONG OF YOU TO APPROACH PEOPLE IN SUCH A MANNER,REMEMBER I HAD NO INTEREST IN DELAYING YOUR FUND.ITIS YOUR FUND AND NOT MY FUND,I WAS ONLY EMPLOY TO MAKE SURE THAT BENEFICAIRIES WHO HAVE DUELY MEET THE REQUIREMENT RECIEVE THERE FUND. IT IS COMPULSORY THAT I WILL RITIRED FROM WORK ONE DAY TO START MY PERSONAL BUSINESS AND OR THIS REASON I LIKE MAINTAINING A GOOD NAME WITH MY CLIENT. I AM VERY SORRY FOR WHAT HAPPEN IN YOUR TRIP ONLY THAT YOU KEEP OUT OF CONTACTS WITH ME.THE OFFICIALS AT THE LONDON PAY CENTER WERE ABOUT TO DIVERT YOUR FUND BEFORE I RECIEVE SIGNAL. FOR THIS REASON I DECIDE TO INSTRUCT OUR DELEGATE IN CANADA TO RELEASE YOUR FUND.PLEASE KINDLY ALLOWS THE OFFICIALS IN CANADA TO WORK AS INTRUCTD. YOURS FAITHFULLY MR JOHN KOJO ECOBANK PLC Time to kiss and make up Bruce Banner Date: Fri, 12 Dec 2003 12:05:05 -0800 (PST) To: johnkojo@macmail.com DEAR SIR, YOUR APOLOGY IS ACCEPTED. I APOLOGIZE AS WELL. WHEN I GET ANGRY I LOSE MY TEMPER AND CAN GET HIGHLY VERBALLY AND PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE. I AM A SCIENTIST AND A BUSINESSMAN. A NUMBER OF YEARS AGO I WAS EXPOSED TO GAMMA RAYS AS A RESULT OF AN EXPLOSION IN MY LABORATORY. THE RESULT OF THIS GAVE ME NEAR SUPERHUMAN STRENGTH AND A VILE TEMPER. PLEASE DON'T GET ME ANGRY AGAIN, YOU WOULD NOT LIKE ME WHEN I'M ANGRY. I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT WENT WRONG IN LONDON, BUT THERE WILL BE NO MORE TRAVEL ON MY PART. YOU CAN MAKE IT UP BY BEING A GOOD LAD AND TRANSFERRING THE MONEY SOONEST INTO THE FOLLOWING ACCOUNT. JUST TO AVOID TEMPTATION I TRANSFERRED ALL OF THE MONEY THAT HAD ALREADY BEEN IN IN THE ACCOUNT, AROUND 50,000 EUROS, TO ANOTHER LOCATION. THE ACCOUNT IS: J.P. MORGAN CHASE BANK ABA: 111-001-150 Swift: TCBKUS44 fax (01888-437-9902) I STILL HAVE SOME DOUBT ABOUT YOU. FOR INSTANCE, WHY WAS I PROVIDED FALSE INFORMATION CONCERNING CONTINENTAL OFFSHORE BANK? AND WHY WAS IT SO IMPORTANT TO GET ME ALONE IN A CAR WITH 11.500 EUROS WHEN I COULD HAVE EASILY FOUND MY WAY TO THE BANK ON MY OWN? I SUSPECT THE INTENT WAS FAR FROM NOBLE AND THAT THE TRUE INTENTION WAS ROBBERY. I WAS NOT CONCERNED THOUGH BECAUSE I ALREADY EXPLAINED I AM A RATHER FORMIDIBLE INDIVIDUAL AND WOULD HAVE CARRIED SUITABLE WEAPONRY ON MY PERSON AS WELL. IF ROBBERY WAS THE INTENT, THE DRIVER WOULD HAVE GOTTEN A VERY UNPLEASANT SURPRISE. I DID NOT GET INTO THE CAR BECAUSE I DID NOT WANT TO TAKE THE CHANCE OF LEGAL ACTION AS A RESULT OF INJURIES TO THE DRIVER, EVEN THOUGH I WOULD HAVE BEEN INNOCENT. MANY TIMES THE BLAME FALLS ON THE VICTIM, I KNOW THIS. BE AWARE THAT I WILL CONTINUE TO BE VERY VERY CAREFUL IN MY DEALINGS WITH YOU. Bruce Banner JOHN KOJO (another "banker") Date: Sat, 13 Dec 2003 08:19:50 +0000 THANKS FOR YOUR E-MAIL. WE ARE WORKING SERIOUSLY NOW TO SEE THAT WE ROUND UP FOR THE YEAR.LIKE I TOLD YOU IN MY LAST MAIL. INSTRUCTION HAS BEEN GIVEN TO OUR DELAGATE IN CANADA TO EFFECT PAYMENT INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT,UNDER THIS ARRANGMENT YOU DONT NEED TO TRAVEL TO ANY WERE AGAIN. SORRY I NEVER KNEW THAT THE OFFICIALS IN LONDON ASK YOU TO COME ALONE IN A CAR,I AM GOING TO WRITTE A PETITION AGAINST THEIR OPERATION IN LONDON. BE REST ASSURE EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE IN IN A SHORT TIME.KEEP ME POSTED ON YOUR DEALINGS WITH THE OFFICIALS AT CANADA. YOURS FAITHFULLY MR JOHN KOJO JOEL ADETOLA Received: from [216.139.180.26] From: "Joel" <joeladetola@excite.com> Date: Tue, 16 Dec 2003 02:31:41 -0500 (EST) dear friend i got your mail,i never knew you can write a mail like this to me all these are not my own making,we needed the fund on time so that we can invest the fund in a business,i know that the transaction can still be done. regards and bear with me for now until we see the end od this transaction . regards joel Bruce Banner Date: Tue, 16 Dec 2003 07:34:22 -0800 (PST) Mon Ami Joel, I used the language to get your attention, sorry for the roughness but it shows at least you are paying the slightest attention. You ignore everything I say. The bank person too, he gave me completely false information. I knew that before I said I went to London. It was easy to have my frend in London verify the information, after I confirmed my suspicions using the internet. So I went to London and spent most of the money on ale, the best prostitutes and food that money can buy. We even slept with hemaphrodites, chicks with dicks, have you ever done that? I highly recommend it. One lady was kind enough to walk all over us and force us to lick the bottom of her boots. So instead of getting beaten and mugged by your false banker friend, my friend and I had an absolutely wonderful time. And now I await the equally false Canadian bank information, which of course I will easily verify. Bruce Banner Every bank home office uses hotmail addresses, n'est pas? RAJI WILLIAMS (another "banker") From: "rajiwilliams williams" <rajiwilliams22@hotmail.com> Subject: re;transfer of fund Date: Tue, 16 Dec 2003 12:52:36 -0600 My name is RAJI WILLIAMS,I AM MANDATED TO CNTACT YOU FROM OUR HOME OFFICE ECO BABK,YOUR FUND HAS BEEN TRANSFER HERE FOR THE RELEASE. YOU ARE ADVICE TO CONTACT ME FOR VERIFICTION/REQUIRMENT ON THIS PENDING TRANSACTION,YOU SHOULD BE AWEAR THAT YOU ARE TO FULFILL OUR MODERLITIES FOR THE SMOOTH RUNING OF THE TRANSACTION,BECAUSE WE WOULD NOT WONT ANY DELAY SO EVER ON OUR OWN SIDE. TEL;#1-416-799-9217 CANADA. AWAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU. BEST REGARDS RAJI WILLIAMS Bruce Banner Date: Tue, 16 Dec 2003 13:23:54 -0800 (PST) DEAR MR. WILLIAMS, AS YOU HAVE CONTACTED ME THROUGH A PERSONAL HOTMAIL EMAIL ACCOUNT, NOT AN ECOBANK EMAIL ACCOUNT, I REQUIRE THE FOLLOWING INFORMATION: 1) THE FULL NAME AND ADDRESS OF YOUR ECOBANK LOCATION. 2) THE MAIN PHONE NUMBER OF YOUR ECOBANK LOCATION. 3) AN ECOBANK EMAIL ADDRESS WHERE I MAY REACH YOU, NOT A HOTMAIL EMAIL ADDRESS. AFTER I CONFIRM THAT YOU TRULY ARE AN ECOBANK OFFICIAL, YOU WILL HEAR FROM ME. I ASSURE YOU I WILL ACT SWIFTLY UPON THE FULFILLMENT BY YOU OF THIS MOST BASIC REQUEST. THANK YOU, Bruce Banner Bruce Banner Mon Ami Joel, As expected, I just received an email from an individual pretending to be an Ecobank official. I asked him to prove he really works for the bank, because he is using a personal, not a business email account. I've asked him for information even the mailroom clerk could provide. Of course he will ignore my request and make a ridiculous excuse. This is highly humorous. Almost as fun as the transvestites in London, but not really. Bruce Banner JOEL ADETOLA Received: from [216.139.180.26] Date: Wed, 17 Dec 2003 02:35:50 -0500 (EST) dear friend i got your mail with much understanding now and the reasons behind all your worries,if am you, i will feel the same way too,i think there is a problem someway and i want to believe that they where trying to steal the whole fund as soon as you sign off the fund. i have carried out my findings,please bear with me and all correction will make and mistakes put in place so that we can receive the fund into your account directly,i want to believe that this will work out the full will get to you so that i can come down to meet you with the widow for the investment. i know that that the bank will get back to you once they through with there findings as well,am so sorry about all this.if you hear anything from the bank here in nigeria let me know on time. regards joel I wish I could get my hands on the drugs this idiot is on JOHN KOJO (the "banker") Date: Wed, 17 Dec 2003 08:26:09 +0000 ATTN: Bruce Banner WERE CONTACTED BY THE OFFICIALS IN CANADA FOR THE RELEASE OF YOUR FUND BY TT INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT. PLEASE GIVE ME AN UPDATE ON THE SITUATION OF THINGS,I WILL APPRECIATE IF YOU CAN BE GIVEN ME INFORMATION ON THE DEVELOPMENT OF THINGS WITH THE CANADA OFFICIALS CONCERNING YOUR FUND. YOURS FAITHFULLY MR JOHN KOJO Bruce Banner Date: Wed, 17 Dec 2003 07:19:32 -0800 (PST) To: johnkojo@macmail.com DEAR CRIMINAL, AS I'M SURE YOU KNOW, AGAIN I HAVE BEEN CONTACTED BY SOMEONE PRETENDING TO BE A BANK, THIS TIME A CANADIAN REPRESENTATIVE AT ECOBANK, PERHAPS IT WAS YOU. I WILL ONLY DEAL WITH AN ECOBANK REPRESENTATIVE THAT USES AN ECOBANK EMAIL ADDRESS, AND THAT CAN BE CONFIRMED TO WORK FOR ECOBANK BY THE MAIN OFFICE. I KNOW THAT IS IMPOSSIBLE BECAUSE THIS WHOLE SITUATION HAS OBVIOUSLY BEEN A FAKE FROM THE BEGINNING. I HAVE GIVEN YOU MANY CHANCES TO PROVE OTHERWISE AND YOU HAVE FAILED MISERABLY AT EVERY OPPORTUNITY 1) I WAS GIVEN FAKE BANK INFORMATION IN LONDON. 2) THE PURPOSE WAS TO GET ME ALONE AND STEAL THE MONEY I WAS CARRYING 3) EVERY PERSON, INCLUDING YOURSELF, IN THIS AFFAIR USES A FREE, PERSONAL EMAIL ADDRESS, NOT A PROFESSIONAL BANK EMAIL ADDRESS. I WILL NO LONGER RESPOND TO NON-CORPORATE EMAIL ADDRESSES. YOU WILL NEVER GET ANY MONEY FROM ME, YOU HAVE COMPLETELY WASTED YOUR TIME. AND I TAKE GREAT SATISFACTION THAT YOU DID NOT GET ONE PENNY FROM ME. Bruce Banner Bruce Banner Date: Wed, 17 Dec 2003 07:31:16 -0800 (PST) Joel(if that's your real name), I have give you many many chances to prove that this is a real affair and you have completely failed. Specifically, 1) I was given fake bank information in London. 2) Your London contact only wanted me there to get me alone to mug me and steal my money. They couldn't satisfy my repeated request for the location of a real brick-and-morter bank in London. 3) Every so-called bank that has contacted me claiming to be from Ecobank uses free, personal email addresses, not one Ecobank email address. And no Ecobank telephone numbers. For all I know it could be you pretending to be all of them. I will no longer respond to emails of that kind. And I will only respond to an email from you if it contains real information, such as a real bank. I will not respond to emails from you containing pathetic excuses and lies. If you were only trying to get money from me, you have completely wasted your time and I take great delight you did not get one penny from me. This is the end of the road for you. Bruce Banner
On the phone he would try to be charming but was actually rather irritating.
The best part was when he would call repeatedly and my tag-team partner wouldn't answer or would hang up on him More from Dr. Banner! This is the lastest of an exchange I had previously sent you that started MONTHS ago. I had the mugus believing I flew from Barcelona to London with 11,000 in euros but got cold feet because they only wanted to meet me alone and gave me fake bank info. This poor desparate lad can't accept the fact he let 11,000 euros slip right through his slimy fingers so he sends out a feeler once a month to see if I have any regrets. Also, amazingly so, he ignores my repeated requests to not contact me using a free email address. Yahoo search on www.fleetinternationalonline.com confirms it's a fake bank site created by 419 mugus. Big surprise. RAJI WILLIAMS (another "banker") rajiwilliams williams <rajiwilliams22@hotmail.com> wrote: i have been transfered to fleet bank in new-york contact me on www.fleetinternationalonline.com reach me to enable us finalize your transaction. Bruce Banner From Bruce Banner Fri Mar 26 No you haven't. It's "under construction". The real fleet bank website is http://www.fleet.com And why are you still using a hotmail address? Do you have an email adrees that ends in "fleet.com". And a phone number with a new york area code? Do you have any idea what this is all about? Do you really think I believe you're anything other than someone sitting at home playing on your computer? |