BOWLING FOR MUGUS, PART 1The Lads seem to be getting generous, as I recently received an offer from the supposed attorney of "Hannah Useni", offering a multi-million dollar contribution to be used for religious purposes. Those who have seen the movie Kingpin will recognize the characters in this little saga. For those who haven't, Roy Munson (Woody Harrelson) is a washed-up ex-champion bowler who was tricked into pulling a con job that caused his right hand to be cut off, ending his bowling career. Ishmael (Randy Quaid) is an Amish bowler who Roy grooms to win a million-dollar winner-take-all bowling tournament in Reno. Ish breaks his hand right before the tournament, so Roy ends up competing with his rubber prosthetic hand. He is beaten by his evil rival, Big Ern (Bill Murray), who was also the one responsible for Roy's hand amputation years before. But although Roy loses, he became famouse as "Rubberman" at the tournament due to his hand, so Trojan Condoms hires him as its spokesman for $500,000. Our saga with the Lads begins after the movie. Ishmael has continued competitive bowling, and since it would be too far to travel by horse and buggy, Roy has continued to manage him in between Rubberman appearances. In addition to Roy and Ishmael, our cast is: Mrs. Hannah Useni, kind benefactress Mr. Frankilin Pepple, Helen's attorney Dr. Adoma of the Central Bank of Nigeria Original scam letter: Beloved in Christ, Calvary greetings in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, I am former Mrs Hannah Aisha , now Mrs Hannah Useni, a widow to Late Sheik Mohammed Alamin Useni, I am 72years old, I am now a new Christian convert, suffering from long time cancer of the breast. From all indications, my condition is really deteriorating and is quite obvious that I may not live more than six months, because the cancer stage has gotten to a very severe stage. My late husband was killed during the Gulf war, and during the period of our marriage we had a son who was also killed in a cold blood during the Gulf war. My late husband was very wealthy and after his death, I inherited all his business and wealth. My personal physician told me that I may not live for more than six months and I am so scared about this. So, I now decided to divide part of this wealth, by contributing to the development of evangelism in Africa, America, Europe and Asian Countries This mission which will no doubt be tasking had made me to recently relocated to Nigeria, Africa where I live presently. I selected your church after visiting the website for this purpose and prayed over it, I am willing to donate the sum of $20.000,000.00 Million US Dollars to your Church/Ministry for the development of evangelism and also as aids for the less privileged around you. Please note that, this fund is lying in a Security Company in Europe and the company has branches, therefore i will want you to contact my lawyer through this contact information. Name:Barrister Franklin Pepple. Email:franklin_pepple@yahoo.com Tel:234-8034059422. so that he will file an immediate application for the transfer of the money in the name of your ministry an he will tell you what steps to take next. Please, do not reply if you have the intention of using this fund for personal use other than enhancement of evangelism. Lastly, I want you/your ministry to be praying for me as regards my entire life and my health because I have come to find out since my spiritual birth lately that wealth acquisition without Jesus Christ in one's life is vanity upon vanity. If you have to die says the Lord, keep fit and I will give you the crown of life. May the Grace of our Lord Jesus Christ, the love of God, and the sweet fellowship of the Holy Spirit be with you. I await your urgent reply. Yours in Christ, Mrs Hannah Useni 4A George Close Zaria, Nigeria. ------------------------------------------------------ The Amish are simple people, but even they wouldn't turn down $20 million. Roy writes on behalf of his friend, Ishmael. April 13, 2003 Subject: Funds for the Amish Is this the email address of Mr. Pepple? If so, is the offer from Mrs. Hannah Useni legitimate? Although I am not a religious man myself, I am guessing that you are trying to reach my friend Ishmael. Being Amish, he is unable to use a computer, but I know that his religious community would welcome an infusion of funds. If this is serious, please let me know. Yours, Roy Munson ------------------------------------------------------ Hannah's attorney sure likes his CAPS LOCK: April 14, 2003 Subject: FROM BARRISTER FRANKLIN PEPPLE ATTENTION:ROY MUNSON. I AM BARRISTER FRANKLIN PEPPLE THE LAWYER TO MRS.HANNAH USENI.I AM IN RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL AND I QUITE UNDERSTOOD ALL YOU SAID.IT DOES NOT NECCESSARY MEAN THAT YOU MUST BE A MINISTRER OR OWN A MINISTRY. SHE MADE ME TO UNDERSTAND THAT ANYBODY THAT IS WILLING TO USE THIS FUNDS FOR GOD`S WORK SOULD CONTACT ME.SO IF YOU KNOW THAT YOU WILL USE THIS FUNDS FOR GOD`S WORK I WILL LIKE YOU TO SEND YOUR PROFILE TO ME SO THAT I WILL FILE YOU NAME TO THE SECURITY COMPANY TO FRONT YOU AS THE BENEFICIARY OF THE CONSIGNMENT CONTAINING THE FUNDS. THANKS. BARRISTER FRANKLIN PEPPLE. TEL:234-80340959422 ----------------------------------------------------- Roy figures that he should educate his new Nigerian friends a bit about the Amish: April 14, 2003 Subject: RE: FROM BARRISTER FRANKLIN PEPPLE Mr Pepple, Thank you for your kind response. Although I am not a minister, I would be happy to assist my good friend Ishmael in obtaining these funds for his religious community. If you are not familiar with the Amish, here are two websites that will give more details: http://www.800padutch.com/amish.shtml http://www.amish-heartland.com/?topic=+Amish+Culture The Amish are simple folk who maintain the old way of life and spurn popular culture and technology. I became acquainted with Ishmael because he has a gift for the sport of bowling. This is not an activity that his condoned by his family or community. However, I took it upon myself to nurture his gift and become his manager. He was a top contender for the big tournament in Reno until he broke his hand the day before the competition. Ishmael's community has had financial difficulties. I was able to help them out temporarily because I am a former champion bowler myself, and I have a lucrative endorsement deal. But they can use any additional help that your client can provide. Please pass along the information and websites to her so she can judge whether Ishmael and his community are worthy of her kind assistance. Yours, Roy ----------------------------------------------------- Mr. Pepple is impressed by the websites and ready to facilitate the transfer of funds: April 14, 2003 Subject: REPLY ATTENTION:ROY MUNSON. I AM IN RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL AND I REALLY UNDERSTOOD ALL YOU SAID.I HAVE VIEWED YOUR WEBSITE AND IT WAS IMPRESSIVE. I WILL LIKE YOU TO LET ME KNOW IF YOU WILL BE WILLING TO RECEIVE THIS CONSIGNMENT CONTAINING THIS FUNDS FOR HER,IF SO I WILL LIKE YOU TO SEND YOUR PROFILE TO ME SO THAT I WILL PROCEED IN FRONTING YOU AS THE BENEFICIARY OF THE CONSIGNMENT CONTAINING THE FUNDS. I WILL APPRECIATE IF YOU CAN CALL ME ON MY DIRECT NUMBER:234-8034059422.FOR US TO DISCUSS ON THIS ISSUE. HOPING TO HEAR FROM YOU SOONEST. THANKS. BARRISTER FRANKLIN PEPPLE. --------------------------------------------------- Roy needs to work out the contact details. It's so hard to keep in touch with a mugu when you're constantly on the road and your buddy can't use electricity: April 14, 2003 Subject: RE: REPLY Good afternoon, I am glad you found the websites informative. Before I met Ishmael, I was totally uninformed about the Amish culture. But they are a fascinating and God-fearing people, and I now count myself fortunate to have become acquainted with them. I tried to call you this afternoon, but I was unable to get through. Is there some special provision I should make for an international call, or some area code I need to dial? What is your exact location/country so that I can account for the time difference? I was trying to call from a hotel phone, as Ishmael and I spend a lot of time on the road following the pro bowling circuit. I also travel a lot due to my endorsement responsibilities as "Rubberman." I am a quasi-celebrity due to my commercials. I don't know if you've ever seen me, as I think they only appear in the U.S. and are usually limited to cable channels like MTV. Do you think Ishmael should be named as the beneficiary, or do you think it would be better if I act as the intermediary? As I'm sure you gathered from the websites, Ish and his family do not have a computer or telephone. Technically, he is forbidden from operating electrical devices, but on occasion he uses my laptop when we are on the road. We can do it either way, and if it is more convenient for me to handle the funds, I assure you that all monies will go directly to Ishmael and his community to further the Amish way of life. Yours, Roy ----------------------------------------------------- Mr. Pepple wants some more information: April 15, 2003 SUBJECT: CALL ME. ATTENTION:ROY MUNSON. THANKS FOR YOUR EMAIL TO ME.I REALLY APPRECIATE YOUR EFFORT SO FAR.I UNDERSTOOD ALL YOU SAID. I THINK IT WILL BE BETTER FOR YOU TO ACT AS THE BENEFICIARY OF THE CONSIGNMENT CONTAINING THE FUNDS. I WILL LIKE YU TO FORWARD TO ME YOUR PHYSICAL ADDRESS AND DIRECT TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS TO ENABLE ME FRONT YOU AS THE BENEFICIARY OF THE CONSIGNMENT CONTAINING THE FUNDS. I AM PRESENTLY IN NIGERIA,AND IF YOU WANT TO CALL ME YOU WILL HAVE TO DIAL DIRECT 011 234 8034059422. I WILL BE EXPECTING THE INFORMATIONS AND YOUR CALL. THANKS. BARRISTER FRANKLIN PEPPLE. TEL:234-8034059422. ---------------------------------------------------- Roy certainly isn't going to call Nigeria. He tosses out some bogus phone numbers: April 15, 2003 Subject: RE: CALL ME Dear Mr. Pepple, Thank you so much for your response. I have shared our correspondence with Ishmael, and he has informed his community. They are very excited about this windfall but saddened that it is coming about due to Mrs. Useni's tragedy. Please let her know that his whole community is praying for her, and they are dedicating their next barn raising to her as well. Ishmael said that when he and his fiance, Rebecca, are married, they will name their first child Hannah in her honor. Even though Hannah is not an approved Amish name, they will be permitted to make an exception due to her great generosity. I tried to call you this morning and spoke with the hotel operator, but their international rates are outrageous. We will be heading to another bowling tournament this weekend, as this is the prime bowling season here in the U.S., but meanwhile here are my numbers: Munson Management: 1-877-311-1692 (cell) 1-877-330-9593 (office) At present, our address is "in transit" as Ish is doing two tournaments a week, mainly in the Midwest. They are toll-free in the U.S., but I'm not sure how that works for international callers. Due to our hectic schedule, it is better if most of this transaction can be handled electronically. Alternately, if phone works best for you, you can deal with my tax attorney. I'm sure he would agree to handle this transaction for Ish's community, as he handles income tax matters for both Ishmael and myself. Please let me know if that would work best for you and, if so, I will give him your information and send you his address and phone number. Yours, Roy ----------------------------------------------------- Mr. Pepple is anxious to hand out those funds: April 16, 2003 Subject: REPLY ATTENTION:ROY MUNSON. I AM IN RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL AND UNDERSTOOD ALL YOU SAID.I THINK IT WILL BE BETTER FOR YOU TO HANDLE THIS TRANSACTION PERSONALLY NOT YOUR TAX ATTORNEY. I WILL LIKE YOU TO FORWARD TO ME YOUR PROFILE SO THAT I WILL PROCEED IMMEDIATELY TO FRONT YOU AS THE BENEFICAIRY OF THE CONSIGNMENT CONTAINING THE FUNDS. I WILL LIKE US TO CONCLUDE THIS TRANSACTION BEFORE NEXT WEEK. HOPING TO HEAR FROM YOU SOONEST. THANKS, BARRISTER FRANKLIN PEPPLE. ----------------------------------------------------- Roy and Ish are going to be out of town for the weekend. Roy shares their schedule (randomly chosen site from Google search), as well as bank details (also randomly chosen, but Lancaster, Pennsylvania sounds like a good Amish location). I don't think that "Roy" is short for anything, so I used "Raymond" for the legal name: April 16, 2003 Subject: RE: REPLY Good morning, I am certainly willing to handle this transaction for Ishmael and his community. However, we will be at a bowling tournament this weekend, so after this afternoon I will not have email access until Sunday afternoon. I hope that this delay will not cause any problems. Here is a link to the bowling circuit schedule: http://www.kegler.com/hdcp1.htm This is the league in which Ish competes. Normally, I can use my laptops at the hotels, but this weekend we'll be in a real backwater. We are planning to open an account at the Lancaster Bank under the title "Hannah Useni Amish Enrichment Fund," with myself (Raymond K. Munson) and Ish as the administrators. The bank website is: http://www.blcnet.com It should contain all the information that you need (address, phone number, etc.). We will finalize the paperwork and have the account number next week. The account specialist I spoke with said that you will also need the routing number, which can be found at: http://www.blcnet.com/other/routing.htm Please let me know if you need any further information. I will be back in touch on Sunday afternoon. Yours, Roy Munson ----------------------------------------------------- Sounds like Roy and Ish will soon be millionaires: April 19, 2003 Subject: REPLY ATTENTION:ROY MUNSON. HAPPY EASTER!!!HOW ARE YOU TODAY?I AM IN RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL AND I UNDERSTOOD ALL YOU HAVE SAID. I WILL GO TO THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA ON MONDAY FOR THE TO TART EVERY ARRANGEMENT TO TRANSFER THE FUNDS TO YOU.AS SOON AS EVERY ARRANGMENT IS MADE I WILL LET YOU KNOW HOW FAR I HAVE GONE. HOPING TO HEAR FROM YOU SOONEST. THANKS. BARRISTER FRANKLIN PEPPLE. TEL;234-8034059422. ----------------------------------------------------- Roy briefly checks in: April 21, 2003 Subject: RE: REPLY Dear Mr. Pepple: Happy Easter to you too! Ish and I have returned from the tournament and eagerly await your instructions. Roy ----------------------------------------------------- More details are needed before the funds can be dispersed: April 22, 2003 Subject: URGENT ATTENTION:ROY MUNSON. WELCOME BACK FROM YOUR TRIP.I AM IN RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL AND I THANK GOD FOR EVERYHING. PLEASE I WILL LIKE YOU TO SEND TO ME THE ACCOUNT INFORMATION THAT YOU KNOW WILL CARRY SUCH AN AMOUNT ($20MUSD)THAT I WILL BE TRANSFER TO YOU TO ME SO THAT I CAN SUBMIT IT TO THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA BY TOMORROW. PLEASE I WILL LIKE YOU TO DO THIS AS QUICK AS POSSIBLE. HOPING TO HEAR FROM YOU SOONEST. THANKS. BARRISTER FRANKLIN PEPPLE. TEL:234-8034059422. ----------------------------------------------------- Roy is happy to fill in some bogus details. Somehow he doubts that the Bank of Lancaster will be receiving an phone calls from Nigeria: April 22, 2003 Subject: RE: URGENT Hello Mr. Pepple: So good to hear from you again. Ishmael and his entire community are licking their chops at their pending good fortune. In order to accommodate such as sizable transfer, we have opened a new account at the Bank of Lancaster County, 949 East King Street, Lancaster, PA 17602-3291. Their telephone numbers are (717) 560-5800 or 800-225-5252 (toll-free). The account is entitled the "Hannah Useni Amish Enrichment Fund," and I listed both myself (Raymond K. Munson) and Ishmael as the co-administrators. The account number is 98-097-00072 and the routing number, which the account manager said you would need for a transfer, is 031313562. The bank website is http://www.blcnet.com A $1000 deposit was required to open the account, so I put up the money in order to expedite this matter because Ish and his community don't have a lot of ready cash. He's been doing okay on the bowling circuit this season, but the prizes aren't all that big. It's usually just a couple of hundred dollars and all the beer you can drink, but Ish can't take advantage of that because his religion forbids the consumption of alcohol. Please let us know when the transfer is complete, as the community already has plans on how they will use it to spread God's word and preserve their way of life. Yours, Roy Munson ----------------------------------------------------- Surely that money will be at the bank any time now (Roy is not holding his breath): April 23, 2003 Subject: REPLY ATTENTION:ROY MUNSON. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?I AM IN RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL AND I QUITE APPRECAITE YOUR EFFORT TO SEE THAT THIS MONEY IS BEEN TRANSFERED TO YOUR ACCOUNT. I HAVE SUBMITTED YOUR BANKING INFORMATION TO THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA FOR THEM TO EXPEDIENT ACTION IN WIRE TRANSFERING THE SUM TO YOUR ACCOUNT. HOWEVER I DON`T KNOW THE EXACT TIME THAT THE WIRE TRANSFER WILL TAKE PLACE BECAUSE THAT IS THE SOLE RESPONSIBLITIES OF THE CENTRAL BANK TO DETERMINE,BUT I WILL VERY MUCH APPRECIATE IF YOU WILL BE VERY MUCH ALERT IF YOU WILL BE CHECKING YOUR FAX OFTEN TO SEE IF THEY HAVE CONTACTED YOU ABOUT THE WIRE TRANSFER. AS SOON AS YOU HEAR FROM THEM DO NOT HESITATE TO INFORM ME SO THAT I WILL ADVICE YOU ON THE NEXT STEP TO TAKE. I WILL BE HOPING TO HEAR FROM YOU AS SOON AS YOU ARE CONTACTED BY THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA. GOD BLESS YOU. BARRISTER FRANKLIN PEPPLE. ----------------------------------------------------- While they are waiting, Roy has a request on behalf of Ishmael (if you've seen the movie, you know that the tattoo is of a well-endowed woman who endowments are popping out of her shirt, and it takes up Ish's entire back). The account manager is named in honor of Randy Quaid for his stunning portrayal of Ishmael in the movie: April 23, 2003 Subject: RE: REPLY Dear Mr. Pepple: We are so pleased that this matter is moving forward so quickly. I have alerted the account manager, Mr. Quaid, that the fund transfer is imminent and that he should be on the lookout for a fax. Please extend our heartfelt thanks to Mrs. Hannah Useni for her overwhelming generosity. Also, Ishmael has a request, and he will understand if she does not agree. On the way to our first tournament in Reno, I must regretfully admit that I led Ishmael astray. He returned to his faith, but in that tumultuous time period, he made some decisions that he regrets. One was to defile his body with a tattoo, which is strictly against the Amish faith. The tattoo is on his back, and the Amish adhere to a strict dress code, so no one has seen it. But this shameful symbol has prevented him from setting a marriage date with his fiance, Rebecca. Although he has hidden it from her so far, she would of course see it on their wedding night. It would cost $1500 to have the tattoo removed. Would Mrs. Useni condone the use of that amount to assist Ish in remedying his mistake? If not, he will understand fully, but if so, he would be most grateful. I will let him know the decision. Sincerely, Roy ----------------------------------------------------- Things seem to be dragging now. Mr. Pepple has totally ignored by Ishmael's request, and he has signed this email rather oddly: April 23, 2003 Subject: TAKE NOTE ATTENTION:ROY MUNSON. HOW ARE YOU TODAY/THANKS FOR YOUR EFFORT SO FAR FOR RESPONDING TO ME SO QUICKLY. PLEASE TAKE NOTE THAT YOU WILL BE THE PERSON THAT WILL BE EXPECTING THE FAX FROM THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA BECAUSE I HAVE MADE THEM UNDERSATND THAT YOU AND OTHERS ARE THE SOLE BENEFICIARY OF THE FUNDS. PLEASE AS SOON AS YOU ARE CONTACTED LET ME KNOW. HOPING TO HEAR FROM YOU SOONEST. THANKS. BARRISTER FRANKLIN PEPPLE. BARRIATER FRANKLIN PEPPLE. TEL:234-8034059422. ----------------------------------------------------- Roy plays along: April 23, 2003 Subject: RE: TAKE NOTE Dear Mr. Pepple: Yes, it is fine to use me as the contact person. Ishmael, being Amish, does not have a fax machine, so if you need to send anything to him as the co-account holder, I will make sure that he gets a copy. Thank you so much for all your kind assistance in this matter. Roy ----------------------------------------------------- Things seem to be stalling, so Roy checks in again: April 24, 2003 Subject: No Fax Yet Dear Mr. Pepple: I just wanted to check in with you, as the fax has not yet arrived and I wanted to ensure that everything is still in place. Also, I hope that Ishmael's question regarding the tattoo removal was not offensive. He didn't mean to make a request for something frivolous, but he is anxious to propose to Rebecca and that mark of shame is the only thing holding him back. Please let me know if everything is okay. Yours, Roy ----------------------------------------------------- Hmmm, could they have actually sent something to the bank? I wonder what some poor slob in Pennsylvania thought about a fax from Nigeria! April 25, 2003 Subject: CHECK THEIR OFFICE FAX ATTENTION:ROY MUNSON. THE TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBER I GAVE TO THE CENTRAL BANK IS AMISH`S OFFICE FAX BELOW: FAX:330-683 2041. TEL:877 311 1692 AND 877 330 9593 RESPECTIVELY. I THINK THAT YOU SHOULD BE EXPECTING THE FAX FROM THIS NUMBER PLEASE CHECK IT AND GET BACK TO ME. THANKS, BARRISTER FRANKLIN PEPPLE. ------------------------------------------------------ Roy is curious about what they might send, so he gives them a fax number that he can access: April 25, 2003 Subject: Electronic Fax Number Dear Mr. Pepple, Thank you so much for your reply. Right now, you have the bank's fax number, but if you would also like to let the bank know that they can send the information to my personal fax, the number is: x-xxx-xxx-xxxx Since Ish and I are on the road so much, that number will allow me to retrieve it from my computer as a .tif file. Otherwise, we can get it from Mr. Quaid when we return. As always, thank you for your assistance. Yours, Roy ------------------------------------------------------ Sounds like things are moving along, although this guy really moves slow for a mugu: April 26, 2003 Subject: REPLY ATTENTION:ROY MUNSON. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?THANKS FOR THE FAX NUMBER.I WILL FORWARD IT IMMEDIATELY TO THE CENTRAL BANK FOR THEM TO REACH YOU. PLEASE AS SOON AS YOU HEAR FROM THEM CONTACT ME. THANKS. BARRISTER FRANKLIN PEPPLE. ------------------------------------------------------ Yep, they really did send a fax, although Roy hasn't had a chance to check it out yet: April 28, 2003 Subject: Fax is Received Dear Mr. Pepple: I just wanted to let you know that I have received the fax. Right now I'm on a friend's computer that does not have the reader program installed, but I will retrieve it tonight on my laptop. I'll be in touch again later today. Yours, Roy ------------------------------------------------------ Sadly, the fax was mostly unreadable. Roy wants to deal with the bank via email: April 28, 2003 Subject: Received Fax But Not Sure If It Is Complete Dear. Mr. Pepple: I downloaded the fax, and it is a form on the letterhead of the Central Bank of Nigeria. It says "RE: Immediate Wire Transfer" and below that "Reference to the application submitted to us by your representative attorney in respect of the above Subject matter." However, that is all that is visible. Should there be any more, and is there an application I should be submitting? If it would expedite this matter, please feel free to give my email address to the bank. The transfer must be in progress, as I checked the account we set up at Lancaster Bank, and the transfer has not yet come through. Once again, thank you for your assistance. Ishmael and I look forward to hearing from you. You'll be pleased to know that he won his tournament this weekend and received a prize of $250. I know it's not much when compared to the millions, but he does it for love of the game, not for the money. He's a good lad, and his community is very deserving of this charitable gift. Yours, Roy ------------------------------------------------------ Mr. Pepple tries to convince Roy to call: April 29, 2003 Subject: RE: REPLY ATTENTION:ROY MUNSON. THANKS FOR YOUR EMAIL TO ME.I AM IN RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL AND I QUITE UNDERSTOOD ALL YOU SAID. THANK GOD THAT THE BANK HAS CONTACTED YOU ABOUT THE WIRE TRANSFER.I WILL ADVICE THAT YOU CALL THE BANK TO ALERT THEM ABOUT THE HALF PAGE OF THE FAX SENT TO YOU,AND CONCLUDE WITH THEM ABOUT THE WIRE TRANSFER. I WILL BE WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU AS SOON AS YOU HAVE FINALISE WITH THEM. THANKS, BARRISTER FRANKLIN PEPPLE. ------------------------------------------------------ BOWLING FOR MUGUS, PART 2Hell, no! Roy's not going to spend the money to call Nigeria. Of course, they won't want a banker to call them, so maybe they will finally agree to handle this via email if Roy tries to bring Mr. Quaid into the picture: April 29, 2003 Subject: RE: REPLY Dear Mr. Pepple: Would it be possible to email the bank rather than phone them? My cell phone does not have the capability for making international calls. Because of that, and because of our time on the road, email is the best medium for me. Alternately, I could request that Mr. Quaid from the Lancaster Bank could call them. I prefer to deal with them directly rather than getting Mr. Quaid involved, but that will be the easiest way if they need to speak to someone. Thank you, Roy Munson ------------------------------------------------------ Mr. Pepple is really hung up on getting a call. These guys must get a commission from Nigerian Bell: April 29, 2003 Subject: RE: REPLY ATTENTION:ROY MUNSON. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?I AM IN RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL AND QUITE UNDERSTOOD ALL YOU SAID.I THINK I WOULD STILL PREFER YOU TO DEAL WITH THE BANK INSTEAD OF MR.QUAID. YOU TRY TO CALL THE BANK TODAY AND FINANLISE EVERYTHING WITH THEM,AND I THINK THAT THEY WILL BE WILLING TO SPEAK WITH YOU INSTEAD BECAUSE YOU ARE PART OF THE BENEFICIARY OF THE FUND. CALL THEM TODAY AND GET BACK TO ME. THANKS. BARRISTER FRANKLIN PEPPLE. ------------------------------------------------------ The quickest way to bring a mugu around to your way of thinking is to get some legitimate information on an organization that they claim to represent. There really is a Central Bank of Nigeria (which features warnings about 419 scams prominently on its web page). Surely Mr. Pepple will come up with an alternate email address because he won't want Roy to deal with the real bank: April 29, 2003 Subject: RE: REPLY Dear Mr. Pepple: I understand that the bank would prefer to deal directly with me, but I don't think you understood all of what I said. Due to my travel schedule with Ishmael to the bowling tournaments, it is nearly impossible for me to make an international call. I cannot do it from my cell phone, and hotels charge outrageous rates. And since everyone in Ishmael's village is Amish, none of them have telephones and Nigeria is too far to travel via horse and buggy. Mr. Quaid, the banker, can make international calls, but if it is better to deal with me, then I need to know if the bank can do it via email. I looked up the Central Bank of Nigeria's website and found the following email address: info@cenbank.org Can I use that address to deal with them, or do you have the address of someone specific? As I said before, you can also give them my address. Please advise. Thank you, Roy ------------------------------------------------------ Of course! The bank has a Yahoo email account! That's true of all legitimate financial institutions, right? April 29, 2003 Subject: RE: REPLY ATTENTION:ROY MUNSON. THANKS FOR YOUR EMAIL TO ME.I UNDERSTOOD ALL YOU HAVE SAID.YOU WILL HAVE TO CONTACT THE CENTRAL BANK WITH THIS EMAIL ADDRESS: cbn_info2003@yahoo.com YOU WILL HAVE TO WRITE THEM IMMEDIATELY AND MAKE THEM KNOW WHEN THE MONEY WILL HIT YOUR ACCOUNT. I WILL BE HOPING TO HEAR FROM YOU SOONEST. THANKS. BARRISTER FRANKLIN PEPPLE. ------------------------------------------------------ Roy thanks Mr. Pepple and contacts the bank: April 29, 2003 Subject: RE: REPLY Dear Mr. Pepple: Thank you so much for sending the corrected address. I will email them and explain the situation, and hopefully they will be able to provide the information and anything else that is needed via email. Yours, Roy To: Central Bank of Nigeria I was referred to you by Mr. Franklin Pepple, who is arranging the transfer of charitable funds to an account at Lancaster Bank. I believe that he has already provided you with all the pertinent information (account number, names, routing number, etc.). I received a fax from your bank, but I only received part of one page so I think that some was missing. As Mr. Pepple may have explained to you, it is difficult for me to call because I am on the road a lot with Ishmael, the Amish pro bowler who I manage and who is the co-account holder. My cell phone does not have international service, and the hotels charge a small fortune for overseas calls. If this can be handled via email, that will be most efficient for me. If not, the account manager, Mr. Quaid, who works at the Lancaster Bank, can probably arrange to call you. I am able to receive email via my laptop regularly, and I can also receive faxes electronically, although I cannot send them overseas. Please let me know when the funds will be deposited and if you need any further information from either Ishmael or myself. He is forbidden from using computers due to his Amish faith, but I can pass any information along to him and inform you of whatever you need to know. Yours, Roy Munson ------------------------------------------------------ At least the bank knows how to turn off the caps lock key. And FINALLY comes the request for money ($1800). But that's a small price to pay to get all those millions: April 30, 2003 Subject: Very Urgent (Immediate Wire Transfer) Attn: Roy Munson. Dear Sir, Reference to your email, as regards the immediate transfer of funds into your account as presented to us by your representative Attorney, we are pleased to inform you that your funds has been approved for immediate wire transfer to your nominated account with lancaster Bank. Therefore as our ealier fax reads, the only thing delaying the immediate wire transfer of the funds to your bank account now, is that your attention as the beneficiary of the funds is requested here in our office, to sign/endorse the fund release Bond/Voucher before the funds can be formally released within 48-72hours into your Bank Account via Key Tested Telex (KTT). But if for any reason, due to your tight schedule as stated in your email to us, you cannot make down personally to our office here in Nigeria to do the signing/endorsement of the funds transfer documents, Alternatively we can arrange to despatch the documents to be signed/endorsed to you through Monitored Diplomatic Courier services, for your immediate signing/endorsement, but however you will be responsible for the cost of sending you the documents by Courier services, which will therefore cost you just US$1,800 only. So that upon your signing/endorsement and return back to us the signed copies, then your fund will be immediately wire transfered to your account. Therefore make arrangement immediately to come forward to our office for the purpose above, or alternatively make arrangement to send us the US$1,800 only with your mailing address informations as quickly as purpose to enable us send you the documents by courier services. Upon your request we will be sending you the name of one of our junior staff here and the test question and answer which you will use to send us the US$1,800 cost of courier by MONEY GRAM TRANSFER SERVICES, for this way we can receive the money the same day you will send it, and also immediately despatch the documents to you by Courier services same day. Be it known to you that the Central Bank of Nigeria shall no longer be responsible for any further delay of your funds transfer, as soon as you receive this email. Congratulations. Yours faithfully, Dr. Ado Adoma. Director, Foreign Payment(CBN). Direct Tel: 234-80-33446184. N.B: please endeavour to also send me your contact telephone number where i can always reach you at present in case of any urgency. ------------------------------------------------------ Let's ask the obvious...why can't the funds be deducted from the account? And if they can't (which of course will be the case), then Roy will use the courier: April 30, 2003 Subject: RE: Very Urgent (Immediate Wire Transfer) Dear Dr. Adoma: Thank you so much for the information. You cannot imagine the joyous anticipation that it has sparked among Ishmael's community to know the funds are so close at hand. There are so many items that the Amish are desperately in need of: horseshoes, bolts of black cloth, lumber, candles, lamp oil...the list goes on and on. This infusion of cash into their humble community will enable them to stock up on necessities as well as to focus on spreading their simple but inspiring message to others. It will also enable Ishmael to expand his tournament schedule by freeing him of responsibilities around the farm, which will bring further publicity to these humble folk. I am very busy with my commitments as Rubberman, in addition to chauffeuring Ish, so hiring the courier service may be the most convenient option. Is it possible that they can be paid out of the funds at your bank prior to completing the transfer? If so, we give you full authorization to proceed immediately. If the money must be given upfront, we'll have to discuss the matter with the elders of Ishmael's village. They do not have a lot of liquid assets that are readily available, but they might be able to organize a pie sale or a sew-a-thon some other fund raising event. Normally I would loan them the money, but I have already committed funds for the opening of the account at Lancaster Bank. I know you already have my fax number. Did Mr. Pepple give you my voice line? It is toll-free in the U.S., so hopefully it would work for an international call. My cell phone does not work for international calling, but I do have a voicemail box set up via my commercial agent, who handles my contract with Trojan: 312-777-4000, under "Rubberman." But that will only accept a message, so it's probably better to reach me via email. Looking forward to hearing from you soon to finalize this exciting transaction. Yours, Roy ------------------------------------------------------ Banks always request Moneygram transfers, right? May 1, 2003 Subject: RE: Very Urgent (Immediate Wire Transfer) Attn: Roy. Thank you very much for your reply to my email, it is quite interesting to hear of the great things you intend to use the funds to achieve over there though it is not our concern on what the funds are meant for, as our obligation as a financial institution is to oversee all funds transfer are correctly and promptly wired to the recepient. however we appreciate your telling us as this will also enhance the prompt wire transfer of the funds to you one you are able to sign/endorse the douments whichever way you choose to do it. Meanwhile, i am very sorry to inform you that the rules and regulations guiding all financial institutions here does not permit us to deduct any money whatsoever from beneficiary's fund. therefore i think the proper thing for you to do now to avoid any delay in the wire transfer is for you to either make out time from your busy schedule to come over here to sign/endorse these fund release documents, which would have been preferable to us, as it would have afford us to see and access physically the beneficiary of the funds, or betterstill make arrangement as soon as possible to send the $1,800 and your mailing address, so that we can despach the documents to you immediately by monitored Diplomatic Courier Services as the documents in question are very vial and classified. Having said that since you prefer us using Courier services to mail you the documents, below is the name of one of our staffs here to use in sending us the $1,800 quickly by MONEY GRAM TRANSFER SERVICES. NAME: MR JUDE ONI. DESTINATION: LAGOS-NIGERIA TEST QUESTION:EAGLE ANSWER: GREEN. AMOUNT: US$1,800 only. Once the funds are sent to us this way, then you will send me the 8 Digit Reference Number for the transfer as this will afford us to receive the funds same day here and immediately Despatch the Documents to you by Courier Services. I look forward to hearing from you soonest, Congratulations. Yours Faithfully, Dr. Ado Adoma. Director. ----------------------------------------------------- Of course, this isn't only Roy's decision to make. The fate of Ishmael's entire community is at stake: May 1, 2003 Subject: RE: Very Urgent (Immediate Wire Transfer) Dear Dr. Adoma: I understand your explanation and will discuss this with Ish and the elders to see what would be most feasible. Do you have any bowling tournaments in Nigeria? If so, we could arrange to travel there as business and write off the expenses. If there are any upcoming tournaments, please let me know the sponsoring location in Nigeria and I will contact them for further arrangements. If not, the community can organize a pie sale. In combination with Ishmael's last tournament prize for $500, we should be able to cover the fee. I will check into locations offering Moneygram transfers in this area in case we need to go with that option. Yours, Roy ----------------------------------------------------- What, no bowling in Nigeria?!?! The heathens! May 2, 2003 Subject: RE: Very Urgent (Immediate Wire Transfer) Attn: Roy. Dear Sir, we are in receipt of your email, and i will like to inform you that we do not have any such tournament here, infact the game is not popular here, and so we do not know how it is played. However as regards your immediate fund transfer to your account, i will like you to please try to expidite action in whatever procedures you want us to follow in getting the Documents across to you for endorsement/signing, also i will like you to please endeavour to send us your mailing address, which you want us to use in sending the documents to you by Courier services. Meanwhile you can log on to moneygram.com to find out the closest office to you, when sending the $1,800 strictly for the mailing of the documents to you. Final I want to assure you that once the documents are mailed to you, and you endorse them and retun to us, it will not exceed exactly 48-72hours for your fund to be confirmed in your bank account at Lancaster Bank. I look forward to hearing from you soonest, and to get the 8 Digit REFERENCE NUMBER of the $1,800 when it is sent by MoneyGram, so that hopefully by early next week your fund can be confirmed in your account. Congratulations once again. Yours faithfully, Dr. Ado Adoma. Director, CBN. ----------------------------------------------------- Mr. Pepple decides to check in too, and he apparently figured out how to turn off his caps lock. I wonder, when a mugu is playing the role of two different people in a scam, does he use caps lock for one to convince the poor sucker that it really is a different person? May 2, 2003 Subject: RE: Reply Dear Roy munson, How are you today?please let me know as soon as the money has entered your account. Hoping to hear from you soonest. Thanks. Barrister Franklin Pepple ----------------------------------------------------- Roy shares his tale of woe with Mr. Pepple and Dr. Adoma (in two emails): May 2, 2003 Subject: RE: Reply Dear Mr. Pepple: I hope that you're doing well! Over here, we have a small problem. We must hire a service in Nigeria, since neither Ish nor I can travel there. The cost is $1800, but all Ish has available is $500 from his latest tournament winnings. I cannot loan him the money because I already put up the funds to open the local account. Although I usually make good appearance fees as Rubberman, things have been soft lately, and believe me, softness is not good for Trojan's business! Ishmael's community is willing to hold a pie bake as a fund raiser to come up with the additional funds. The banker mentioned that there are time constraints, so I don't know if we can pull that off quickly enough. I will check with him, and if so, we will proceed with the fundraiser. If not, I'm afraid that we may be forced to forfeit this windfall. I will check with the bank and let you know. Yours, Roy May 2, 2003 Subject: RE: Very Urgent (Immediate Wire Transfer) Dear Dr. Admoma: I am sorry to hear that you do not have bowling in your country. It is a fascinating spectator sport, and the atheletes are amazing. Ish spends at least 8 hours a day in training to remain in top form, and he is an amateur compared to some of the top figures. Since traveling to Nigeria is not an option, we will need to find an alternate way to raise the money. Ish has $500 available from his latest tournament winnings, but that leaves $1300 to be raised. Ishmael's community is willing to hold a pie bake to raise the $1300, but that takes a few days to organize and execute. It sounds like there may be some time contraints on your end, so this might not be feasible. Please let me know the latest date by which we can wire the money. If time is of the essence, we may have to forfeit this opportunity, although I'm sure Mr. Pepple will have no difficulty in finding another worthy recipient. Yours, Roy ----------------------------------------------------- Mr. Pepple found the caps lock again: May 2, 2003 Subject: RE: Reply DEAR ROY MUNSON, HOW ARE YOU TODAY?NICE TO HEAR FROM YOU TODAY?I THANK YOU SO FAR FOR YOUR EFFORT.I WILL LIKE YOU TO TRY YOUR BEST POSSIBLE TO SEE THAT YOU DO EVERYTHING FOR THEM FOR THE BANK TO WIRE THIS MONEY INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.SEE IF YOU AND THEM CAN RAISE THE MONEY BEFORE TUESDAY NEXT WEEK.I THINK THAT WILL BE ENOUGH. ALSO TALK TO THE BANK TO SEE IF THEY CAN HOLD ON TILL THAT TIME FOR YOU TO RAISE THE REMAINING $1300. I WILL BE WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU AS SOON AS THE MONEY IS WIRED INTO YOUR ACCOUNT. THANKS. BARRISTER FRANKLIN PEPPLE. ----------------------------------------------------- Could pies save the deal? Can the Amish bake fast enough, considering that they use wood stoves? May 2, 2003 Subject: RE: Reply Dear Mr. Pepple: I haven't heard back from the bank yet, but I will let you know as soon as I do. Since today is already Friday, I doubt that Ish and the others could pull a pie sale together before Tuesday. They would need to put out flyers to publicize it, and it takes a while to cover territory in horse & buggy. I was thinking that they could publicize it next week and hold it on Saturday, when they get a lot of tourists. Ish is hanging onto the $500 just in case, but if we run out of time before getting together the $1300, the village elders chalk it up to God's will (they are very accepting people, but I guess that they would have to be since they don't even have indoor plumbing). I'll let you know whether we can proceed or whether you can seek another religious community for the donation as soon as I hear from the bank. Yours, Roy ----------------------------------------------------- It takes a few days for a reply from the "bank." I can just see the little mugu sitting there thinking, "Do I take the sure thing? Do I push for more? Is $500 in the hand worth $1800 in the bush?" Obviously he has decided to go with the sure thing. Mr. Pepple and Dr. Adoma are so kind, putting up their own money! Nigerians are true philanthropists, as you will see in the following two emails. May 5, 2003 Subject: RE: Very Urgent (Immediate Wire Transfer) Attn: Roy. Dear Sir. Reference to the above subject matter, i hereby confirm receipt of your last email, and i want to say that i quite understand your predicament in trying to raise the needed $1,800 mail the documents to you for signing/endorsement, before your funds can be immediately wire transfered to your bank account within 48-72hours of your signing/endorsing the documents. However to this end, i will like to inform you that your representative Attorney Barrister Franklin Pepple called me on phone this morning, to inform me that you cannot afford anymore delays as regards the wire transfer because your community urgently requires the funds for some ministerial development. He has therefore promised to contribute and send to me before the close of work today the sum of US$1,000 only, leaving us with the balance $800 only. therefore due to time constraint i will like you to please make arrangement immediately today to send me the $500 you have now, so that i can make it up with my own personal $300 to arrive at the required $1,800 so that the documents can be sent to you first thing tomorrow morning by Courier services. Barrister Pepple has promised me that as soon as the wire transfer is made to your account, you will send back my $300 through him. Therefore, as you can see now the ball is now in your court, to avoid anymore delays, please ensure that you send the $500 today via MONEY GRAM, for details on the nearest moneygram office closeer to you, please log unto www.moneygram.com Below once again is the name to use in sending the $500 today. NAME: MR JUDE ONI DESTINATION: LAGOS - NIGERIA. TEST QUESTION: EAGLE. ANSWER: GREEN AMOUNT: US$500. Please as soon as you send the money today as directed above kindly ensure that you immediately send me the 8 Digit money gram reference number for the transaction to pick up the funds here. I look forward to hearing from you soonest, and to receive the reference number. Best Regards. Dr Ado Adoma. Director, Foreign Payment (CBN). May 5, 2003 Subject: RE: Reply ATTENTION:ROY MUNSON. HOW ARE YOU TODAY?I AM WTITING IN RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL.I HAVE CALLED THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA THIS MORNING TO INFORM THEM THAT I WILL BE SENDING TO THEM THE SUM OF US$1000 TO ENABLE THEM SEND TO YOU THE DOCUMENTS,SO I WILL LIKE YOU TO SEND TO THEM THE BALANCE MONEY TO ENABLE THEM SEND THE DOCUMENTS TO YOU AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. I REALLY WANT EVERYTHING PERTAINING THIS TRANSACTION TO BE CONCLUDED THIS WEEK. I WILL BE HOPING TO HEAR FROM YOU AS SOON AS YOU HAVW SENT THE MONEY TO THEM. THANK YOU, BARRISTER FRANKLIN PEPPLE ----------------------------------------------------- Roy and Ish are suitably grateful and express their thanks in the next two emails. I'm sure the mugus can almost taste that cash coming their way. May 5, 2003 Subject: RE: Very Urgent (Immediate Wire Transfer) Dear Dr. Adoma: I am so glad that you are understanding of the dilemma. I informed Ishmael and he is very grateful. His entire community will be sending prayers to all who are involved in expediting this transaction. He is proud that his winning will be used to enable this transfer of funds. As you know, it will be no problem to repay you the additional amount once the transfer is completed. Ishmael also asked me to offer you an additional interest payment due to your kindness. Although we have never met you or Mr. Pepple, your kinds to strangers overwhelms us. We have located a Western Union office and will be sending the Moneygram this afternoon. I will drop you a line to confirm as soon as the funds are on their way. Yours, Roy ----------------------------------------------------- May 5, 2003 Subject: RE: Reply My dearest Mr. Pepple: The bank has advised me of the arrangements, and Ishmael and his entire community are eternally grateful to both you and Dr. Adoma for assisting in this matter. We will be arranging to transfer Ishmael's prize money this afternoon. I know that Mrs. Hannah is paying you, but Ishmael would like to add an additional amount when the transfer is complete in order to express his community's gratitude. They are also keeping you in their prayers. We will copy you on the message when we notify the bank that the transfer is made. Yours, Roy ----------------------------------------------------- This scenario is getting a little old. Time to set up the burn in one letter to both of the scammer email addresses. May 5, 2003 Subject: Moneygram & Western Union Problem Hello again, my friends: I called the Western Union office that is closest to Lancaster, thinking that Western Union and Money Gram are the same. They informed me that they are not, and they also said that they will not send money to Nigeria without documentation of a legitimate business deal because they have had problems with non-legitimate and fraudulent business deals. I explained that this is related to a religious contribution rather than a business deal, but they advised me to speak with the bank. I spoke to Mr. Quaid, the account rep., and he said that it is standard for the bank to be able to transfer the money. Due to the size of the deposit that will be coming to his bank, he is most anxious to assist in any way possible. Ishmael has deposited his winnings into our account. Mr. Quaid said that all he needs is the name, account number and routing number that you would like the funds transferred into and he will accomplish it immediately (I am assuming you will want the funds to go into an account at the Central Bank of Nigeria). Unlike Moneygram or Western Union, Mr. Quaid will do this at no charge, and he said that it is a much safer process. Please send the information and the $500 will be on its way. Yours, Roy ---------------------------------------------------- Of course, the mugus have an explanation. It's that silly Roy's fault for not following instructions properly! May 6, 2003 Subject: Re: Very Urgent Attn: Roy. Dear Sir, We are in receipt of your email, as regards sending the $500 which will enable us to mail the documents to you for signing/endorsements to facilitate the immediate wire transfer of your funds into your account. However, it is unfortunate that you did not carry out my instructions effectively as i directed you, that is why you encountered such problems in trying to send the money yesterday, put as a man of prayers i will like you to pray seriously about encountering anymore delays such as this as regards the transfer of your funds. You see there are so many reasons why initially i did not give you an account informations where to send the money to, before asking you to use Money Gram. one of such reasons is that Money Gram is faster to recieve money worldwide, the same day you send it is the same day we will receive it here, unlike you sending the $500 through an account that will take 3 working days to get to us here, which would be another source of delays. Secondly the amount you are sending ($500) is just to small to be received here through account, because the kind of account we use here at the CBN is what we call CBN DOLLAR ACCOUNT that cannot take anything less $10,000 upwards, otherwise if you send below it might never get to us. Thirdly, as a civil servant still working under the CBN which is a Government Owned Bank, you will agree with me that i will be putting myself into trouble and my Job on the line, if my superiors in office here get to know that i am offering you any form of financial assistance, they might misinterprete it to be something else, because normally i am not suppose to get so close to any of our numerous customer, as such as assisting in any form, all i am here for is to do my job professionally. Therefore, having outlined all these points to you, i believe you will agree with me that it will be better that you carry out my instructions effectively by going ahead to send the $500 today through MONEY GRAM and not Western Union. Below are some MONEY GRAM OFFICES in your area, choose the one closer to you and use it to send the $500 today. (CONVENIENT LIST OF MONEY GRAM LINKS WAS INSERTED HERE IN THE ORIGINAL EMAIL, BUT THEY WERE FOR CALIFORNIA RATHER THAN PENNSYLVANIA. I GUESS MUGUS AREN'T TOO GOOD WITH U.S. GEOGRAPHY.) Finally like i told you yesterday you can still log unto www.moneygram.com to find out money agents around you where you can send the $500. Please as soon as you get this email, go to your bank withdraw the $500 and proceed to the nearest MONEY GRAM office to send it, and then send me the 8 DIGIT REFERENCE NUMBER to collect the $500 here same today, that you will send it, and if for any reason Mr Quid wants to question you about this, please kindly outline my point above to him, am sure he will see reasons with us. Please ensure to carry out my instructions as soon as possible to avoid any further delay. I look forward to hearing positively from you today. Best regards. Dr. Ado Adoma. Director. ----------------------------------------------------- This should bring things to a screeching halt. Rubberman is full of righteous indignation, the Amish are seeking God's vengeance, and Trogan Condoms is stepping in, too. May 6, 2003 Subject: Shame on you both! I spoke with Mr. Quaid about this transaction, and several elements raised his suspicions. Before coming to Lancaster for partial retirement, he worked for the Federal Reserve, so he still has many governmental friends. Conversations with his friend Mr. Harrelson, who is an agent of the Secret Service, revealed the extent of the fraud that I nearly helped my poor friend Ishmael to fall for. He confirmed this through U.S. government contacts, the Secret Service, the FBI, and also through the Central Bank of Nigeria, all of whom confirmed the scope of this activity. The Amish have withdrawn their prayers of goodwill and are instead praying for divine retribution. They are mild mannered people but do not tolerate exploitation. They are grateful that God led them to discover the truth before Ishmael was parted from his hard-earned tournament money. I have spoken to Trojan about launching a public awareness campaign about "419" email fraud. They have agreed to sponsor me as Rubberman in public service ads, which will have the slogan, "It's fun to be screwed, but not by Nigerians." ------------------------------ After the above email, I was hoping for an email trying to convince me that this wasn't a scam, telling me off, or maybe even confessing (ha!). But so far, no more contact. Too bad...poor Ishmael never even got a reply on his tattoo query, so I guess that he and Rebecca will never be able to wed. Watch for Roy in those public service ads coming soon to a television near you! |