FLOAT LIKE A BUTTERFLY, STING LIKE NOBODY IN PARTICULAR

updated sept 8
with a love note from Dr Garuba to his new fan, Frank Chigeme!

Dear Scamorama,
This is my second effort with some great results. (See down for the Count for my first contribution)
My "oceanfront Casino project in North Dakota", with the help of Mike Brady, Shania Twain
and Arnold Schwarzenegger, drove the good Dr. Ali over the deep edge and his reaction was priceless!
Enjoy!
The Count

DR ALI GARUBA

From: dr.aligaruba@juno.com [mailto:dr.aligaruba@juno.com]
Sent: Monday, June 23, 2003 4:14 AM

Subject: GOODDAY

Dear Sir,

JOINT BUSINESS VENTURE

We are making this business proposal/contact to you as businessmen in need of partnership to make a business transaction currently on course now to be successful. We got your contact address from your country's business guide and we will want to believe that we can trust and depend on you in a business this magnitude.We are happy to know you, because you are residing in area where we have interest for business investment. We are interested in investing in exportation of viable products and also we are interested in Real Estate investments or any other business venture that is profitable in your country of origin which we would honour your presentation of this business to us as soon as the parties herein have established a cordial business relationship.

We are members of The Senate Committee on Importation and Contract Award therefore, our establishing a business relation with you would not only be profitable to us but to you as well in terms of your goods coming into Nigeria at our approval for award for you or if you wish to expand your business to this part of the world. Presently, we have some funds/money, which we want to transfer out for our personal investment as stated above. This transfer can only be made possible and actualized with your assistance, because as civil servants we are not allowed to operate foreign accounts and this is the reason why we are seeking for your assistance. We have successfully secured the fund under Contract No. NNPC/FGN/2642-2001 and from one of our numerous awards of contracts to companies and individuals the world over. The transpired documents from this contract would be sent to you on request and as a proof/certification of the availability of the under-mentioned fund.
The amount involved is (US$ 25. 5 Million) TWENTY FIVE MILLION, FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS ONLY. The fund will be shared on completion of the transfer. 30% of the total fund to be transferred is for you, while 60% for us and 10% for re-imbursements of any expenses to be incurred by us.
Please read this letter very carefully and DO BEAR IN MIND THAT WHY WE CONTACTED YOU IS FOR YOU TO MAKE SURE THAT THIS FUND IS FIRMLY SECURED IN YOUR ACCOUNT FOR INVESTMENT PURPOSES (OUR 60%) and we believe that asking you for this assistance does not make us stupid but only trying to get business relations established between your good self and ourselves.
Kindly indicate your interest by replying us through this mail box and we would get back to you as soon as we can. All other information relative to this transfer of this fund will be revealed to you as soon as we receive your positive reply.

Best Regards,
DR. ALI GARUBA.
FOR THE COMMITTEE


THE COUNT

Sent: Monday, June 23, 2003 3:10 PM
Subject: RE: GOODDAY

My dear Dr. Aligaruba.

IT IS YOUR DESTINY TO REACH ME.

SINCE YOU WERE SO KIND TO GIVE ME YOUR INFORMATION, LET ME SHARE WITH YOU.

I STRUGGLED THROUGH COLLEGE AS A POOR WORKING CLASS KID. NOTHING CAME EASY. ENDS WERE TOUGH TO MEET. LUCKILY, I WON THE NCAA BASKETBALL POOL WITH MY BUDDIES RIGHT BEFORE GRADUATION. IT WAS ONLY $1500. BUT IT WAS BETTER THAN NOTHING, AND IT ALLOWED ME TO EAT THREE MEALS A DAYS FOR A WHILE. I KNEW SOMETHING HAD TO DONE, SO I BOUGHT A TICKET AND WENT TO THE ORIENT.

WITH $100 TO MY NAME. I FLEW TO TOKYO, JAPAN. AS LUCK WOULD BE WITH ME, I PURCHASED A CARP FARM IN JAPAN FROM A LEAD FROM A BUSINESS ASSOCIATE MUCH LIKE YOU. AFTER A BIT OF SUCCESS AND BY HIRING THE BEST FISH EXPERTS IN ASIA, WE QUICKLY WERE ABLE TO GROW SUPERIOR FISH. YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THOSE CARP MAN, THEY WERE HUGE. ONCE WORD GOT OUT OF OUR PRODUCT, WE WON A CONTRACT WORTH $1 MILLION USD TO USE OUR CARP ON THE IRON CHEF. THE EPIC CARP BATTLE WITH IRON CHEF JAPAN MOSIHITO MORIMORTO WAS INCREDIBLE. FROM THERE WE SOLD $3 MILLION USD IN CARP TO THE GENERAL PUBLIC OF JAPAN. PROMPTLY I SOLD MY CARP HOLDINGS TO A MR. HO LEE SHEET FOR $8 MILLION USD.

GIVEN MY TRACK RECORD, WE COULD MAKE SOME SERIOUS CASH DUDE.

Oops, that damn CAP lock button always sticks, sorry. Anyway, my architect, a MR. MICHAEL BRADY, is working with me about building a new Casino on the coast of North Dakota.
This could be huge, and we are looking to raise capital.

I need a trusted partner. Are you worthy?

Sincerely,

Sir Count, esq


DR ALI GARUBA

Sent: Tuesday, June 24, 2003 2:57 AM
To: The Count
Subject: QUICK RESPONSE.

Dear Mr. Count,
Sir,
Thanks for your response to my e-letter to you, I so much thanks you for your assistant.
Mr. Count, for us to get this done you are to send down this information's:-
1. Your Private Telephone and Fax number for easier communication.
2. Name of your Bank and Account number, for quick transfer of this fund.

This would enable us to summit the information's to the Department consciences for the approval and final release of the fund into your Bank Account ,After the successful of this fund into your Bank Account, I would travel down to be with you for me sharing and make profitable investment most especially the CASINO you talk about.

The transaction should be strictly confidential due to my active in service and I assure you is 100% Risk Free.

Awaiting your quick response to enable me submitted the Bank Particular for the transfer.
Best Regards
Dr Ali Garuba


THE COUNT

Sent: Tuesday, June 24, 2003 1:40 PM
Subject: North Dakota

Dear Dr Ali

Thank you for your interest in being my investment partner for the Casino on the coast of North Dakota. The City of Grand Forks has approved our site plans so I can move forward. This is great!
The ocean's breeze will be nice in the summer as we rack in millions from foolish gamblers.
HA! Let me tell you something, Mike Brady is a cool guy to work with. A real family man with excellent character always has a moral to the story. Hey, he has three daughters too...so well...ok enough.

I like to use the Bank of Dummkopf in Berlin. I have an office there for my European affairs and it is easier to deal with than US Banks if you know what I mean.

I have established a special account known as a Trottel Market Management Account.
The account number is 4785685314-256-14.

I have a fax and phone number for the US, it is 775-628-2732. It my top secret emergency line. Please do not disclose it to others. If you call and get the fax tone, press *695 to get the phone to ring. I have an Administrative Assistant, Ms.Shania Twain, who I have instructed to await your call and get me urgently. Things are looking up, up, up Dr. Aligaruba!

May God Bless your soul.
The Count

(Note: Dummkopf is German for moron. Trottel is German for fool.)


DR ALI GARUBA

Sent: Thursday, June 26, 2003 2:28 AM
Subject: URGENT

DEAR COUNT,
Thanks for your response of your letter by e-mail dated 24/6/03.i have vowed to keep this transaction between you and me secret upon secret. Believe it or not However, the foreign exchange approved on your name would have gotten your favor today, but the ministries concerned needed your full name of your company also full address of your bank including the account number in which the fund will be transferred.
This is because the one you sent to me was incomplete knowing that banks lakes every to be correct to avoid alterations or omission if transferred out to your account.
Therefore as a matter of urgency do your best today to send the mentioned item with its full addresses to enable me present to the paying bank .
Final, immediately the above needed item are provide accordingly you will be communicated with the transfer slip as the sole beneficiary for confirmation at your beneficiary bank.
Thanks may god be with you, while await your reply.
Yours truly,
Dr ali garuba

THE COUNT

Sent: Friday, June 27, 2003 8:40 AM
To: 'dr.aligaruba@juno.com'
Subject: RE: URGENT

Dear Dr. Ali,

A thousand apologies for the delay. I was extremely busy yesterday working on the plans for the Casino. My Administrative Assistant, Ms.Shania Twain was all up in arms, she kept saying, "Man, I feel like a woman" all day for some blasted reason and did not check my email. I thought that I gave you the information, but here it is again in more detail, and I hope it is sufficient to move forward. Mike Brady is really starting to put the heat on me to close the deal. My God, he said "damn" yesterday, and for him that was really a stretch. Thanks again for help. I am prepared to make the Ali Garuba Suite at the Casino in your honor. Of course you would be welcome to stay anytime.

Bank of Dummkopf
419 Dummer Verbrecher Rd Berlin, Germany
Tel. +49 (0) 880 27 94 19
Account Name: Pendejo Builders, Inc
account number: 4785685314-256-14

I have instructed Ms. Twain that you are "Still the One" if you call and to get me at all costs. She said, "I'm Gonna Getcha" to me if you call, so we are ready.

With God on our side, we will not fail. Our Casino will be a smashing success!!!

Best regards,
The Count

(Note: Dummer Verbrecher is German for stupid criminal. Pendejo is Spanish slang for ###hole. I even used the address of 419 to reference the Nigerian 419 scam and he still had no clue!)

DR ALI GARUBA

Sent: Monday, June 30, 2003 11:26 AM
Subject: NEXT STEP

DEAR MR.COUNT,

I RECEIVED YOUR E-MAIL CONTAINING THE ACCOUNT PARTICULARS. HOWEVER,IT HAS BEEN SUBMITTED TO THE CONCERNED MINISTRIES FOR IMMEDIATE APPROVAL AND TRANSFER OF THE FUNDS FROM CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA INTO YOUR NOMINATED BANK ACCOUNT AS THE SOLE BENEFICIARY.

BASED ON THIS DEVELOPMENT,YOU WILL HAVE TO KEEP ME INFORMED AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE ANY INFORMATION FROM THE CONCERNED MINISTRIES NOR THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA(CBN)THOUGH THIS MAY TAKE SOME FEWS DAYS CONSIDERING THE FACT THAT WE ARE HAVING A NATION STRIKE BY THE NIGERIAN LABOUR CONGRESS THE UMBRELLA OF THE LABOUR INDUSTRY DUE TO THE RECENT HIKE IN PRICE BY THE PRESENT CIVILIAN GOVERNMENT OF PRESIDENT OLUSEGUN OBASANJO.

HOPEFULLY,THIS MAY BE RESOLVED WITHIN THE NEXT TWO DAYS AND YOU SHALL BE COMMUNICATED BY CBN WITH NECESRRAY INFORMATIONS FOR THE TRANSFER OF THE FUNDS INTO YOUR ACCOUNT. PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU KEEP ME POSTED.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,
DR.ALI GARUBA


THE COUNT

Sent: Monday, June 30, 2003 1:57 PM
Subject: RE: NEXT STEP

Dear Dr. Ali,

Thanks for the update. I am currently in North Dakota reviewing the job site of the Casino.
Man, let me tell you that the coast here is incredible. The sun, the waves, the clean crisp air...
I wish that you could be here with me to see the incredible work that we are about to get underway!

Anyway, I spoke again to Mike Brady and informed him that I had a group of foreign investors ready to assist the Casino funding. He informed me that he needs some kind of document to support the initial first right to financing, so the sooner I get something the better. He is a bit paranoid about it, but I assured him that it is ok. The good news is that he is taking vacation this week with his family, so that should buy some time. I am glad that you did not have to listen to his vacation stories of the Grand Canyon, King's Island, and Hawaii-it was rather tedious. Enough, sorry I am getting off the subject.

I will keep you in the loop, or if anything else changes, let us know. My Administrative Assistant Shania Twain is always able to get a hold of me.

May God help us together in business!

Your Friend,

The Count
CEO Pendejo Builders


THE COUNT

Sent: Wednesday, July 02, 2003 7:57 AM To: 'dr.aligaruba@juno.com' Subject:

Dear Dr. Ali,

Hello my friend, how are you?

It has been a couple of days, and I have not heard from you. I realize the strike and all, but we really need to get moving forward here. Hurricane season is rapidly approaching and I really want to break ground on my project as soon as possible.
The good news is that the fine folks of North Dakota are great at hurricane management policies and your investment will be well protected by my insurance company.

In the meantime, I have contacted my account manager Arnold Schwarzenegger at the Bank of Dummkopf in Berlin to advise that a substantial deposit is fore coming. Please do not worry, I kept our deal *Top Secret* and simply told them I had a mutual investment partner starting a corporation. I also offered him a small percent of the deposit to help keep things under wrap if you know what I mean. That Arnold is quite a Terminator when it comes to deals like that. It was like he was a Predator or something. Glad he is on our team.

Whatever can be done to expedite the process would be greatly appreciated. My architect and partner Mike Brady has a friend Sam, who is a meat cutter, and he emailed me that Texas Beef Futures are due for a great rise in price this fall, so I may have to invest elsewhere if we can't close this out. Luckily for us, Brady is still on vacation this week. But I know he will ask me right away when he gets back what is going on.

Anxiously awaiting progress,

Yours truly
Pendejo Builders

(Note: The faxes start rolling in, courtesy of callwave.com)


THE COUNT

Sent: Thursday, July 03, 2003 12:47 PM
To: 'dr.aligaruba@juno.com'

Dear Dr Ali,

Great News,

I just got a fax from the Central Bank of Nigeria with information and such. I am preparing to contact a Mr. Nico Overwijn who is the Account Manager.

If there is anything else let me know.


THE COUNT

Sent: Thursday, July 03, 2003 12:56 PM To: 'ovnico@post.com'

Dr. Mr. Overwijn,

Greetings and most excellent wishes to you.

I thank you kindly for the fax outlining the details of our transaction.

I attempted to call your number a few times, but I kept getting a weird sound and then disconnected.
Are you having phone problems?

Anyway, I thought that I should contact you for the final procedures.

I have notified my account manager Arnold Schwarzenegger at the Bank of Dummkopf in Berlin that we are close to completing the deal.

Sincerely,
The Count
Pendejo Builders


THE COUNT

Sent: Thursday, July 03, 2003 3:16 PM


Dr. Ali,

Where are YOU???????????????????????????????????????????????????????

I have emailed 3 times and I got a fax about our deal and you are NO WHERE TO BE FOUND!!!

What is going on? My North Dakota Oceanside Casino project is falling behind schedule and Mike Brady is due back from vacation and I DON'T HAVE ANSWERS!!!!!!!!!!

Stop having lunch with the monkey and get with it!!

HELP ME MY FRIEND, I am in dire a situation. I thought that you were my partner, my friend. I don't want to get back on Prozac so email me will you?

"We can dance, we can dance, everybody look at your hands. We can dance, we can dance, everybody's takin' a chance....with SAFETY DANCE"

Sincerely
The Count
Pendejo Builders


DR ALI GARUBA

Sent: Friday, July 04, 2003 12:25 PM
Subject: THANKS FOR THE GOOD NEWS

DEAR MR. THE COUNT,

THANKS FOR YOUR UP DATE,AND I WAS VERY MUCH HAAPPY TO RECEIVE YOUR E-MAIL STATING THAT YOU HAVE BEEN CONTACTED BY THE CENTER BANK OF NIGERIA AS REGRDS THE SAID TRANSFER INTO YOUR NOMINTED BANK ACCOUNT.

HOWEVER, ALL YOU ARE TO DO NOW IS TO ACT STRICTLY TO THE TRANSFER INSTRUCTIONS BY CONTACTING MR NICO OVERWIJN, TO ENHANCE IMMEDIATE AND FINAL RELEASE OF THE FUNDS INTO YOUR ACCOUNT ACCORDING.

FINALLY, MAKE SURE YOU KEEP ME POSTED, UPON CONTACTING MR NICO, AND SUBSEQUENT CONFIRMATION OF THE FUNDS INTO YOUR DESIGNATED ACCOUNT SO THAT WE CAN BOTH MAP OUT MODALITRES OF HOW YOU ARE GOING TO INVEST MY OWN SHARE OF THE FUNDS.

AWAITING FURTHER NEWS FROM YOU AND REMAIN BLESSED. YOURS FAITHFULLY DR ALI GARUBA

(Note: Another fax...from the Netherlands! Wow..)


THE COUNT

Sent: Monday, July 07, 2003 9:06 AM


Dr. Ali,

Greetings and hello.

My account manager, Arnold Schwarzenegger at the Bank of Dummkopf in Berlin called me this morning. He is very concerned about our business transaction, due to the large amount of money. Since he is a trusted friend and partner, I listened to his advice. In order to complete our transaction he requested that you fill out the form below and email back to me.

I really don't speak German. Luckily, Ms. Twain my beloved assistant took German in college and was able to translate. It basically is asking for your address, copy of passport and a bank reference and signature. I told Mr. Schwarzenegger that things were ok, but he said it was some German law thing. Whatever.

In any event, I got the final paperwork faxed to me from the Netherlands and will send them upon completion of your end. I thought this wouldn't be a dig deal, and just want to keep moving forward. I feel we are close at hand!

Thanks!
Pendejo Builders
Gerichtshof die E-mail von Elektronischem
Handel Teilung
8956 Gro§e Kuh Gasse
Berlin, Deutschland
+49 (0) 9654 97 02 78

Dr. Ali Garuba

Diese ist Zustimmung, eine backgorund Kontrolle durchzufŸhren, zu bestŠtigen, da§ GŸltigkeit Ihrer Absicht zu transfer

$25.5 zu unserem Kunden: Pendejo Bauunternehmern

Vollenden Sie bitte alle Formen

Namenadre§stadt:

Land von Orgin:

Befestigen Sie bitte eine Kopie Ihres Reisepasses

FŸhren Sie bitte ein finanzielles Verweisung

Namenbank Adre§stadt :

Land auf :

Ich schwšre, da§ diese Informationen wahr und gesetzlich Binden ist.

Unterschrift
Dr. Ali Garuba


Form sent to Dr. Ali in German
--------------------------------------------
Court of Electronic Commerce
Email Division
8956 Big Cow Lane
Berlin, Germany

Dr. Ali Garuba

This form is consent to perform a backgorund check to confirm validity of your intent to transfer$25.5 M USD to our Client Pendejo Builders.

Please complete all forms
Name
Address
City
Country of Orgin
Please attach a copy of your passport
Please list a financial reference
Name
Bank
Address
City
Country

I swear this information is true and legally binding.


THE COUNT

Sent: Tuesday, July 08, 2003 2:12 PM


My Dear Dr Ali,

As a member of the Senate Committee on Importation and Contract Award, I would expect a more prompt response on my simple request from my bank in Germany. I mean after all it was you who was so hot to trot to get this whole thing going. I can't wait much longer man, Mike Brady is becoming irate at me, and I can't afford to lose this Oceanside Casino deal in North Dakota.

So GET WITH IT and let's finish this up. I will send the bank info to Post Bank as the fax requested.

If there is anything else that I can do, please let me know IMMEDIATELY.

Thank you for your expedient attention to the modalities* of this matter.

Sincerely
Pendejo Builders

[*ding ding! 10 modality points to the Kindly Contributor]


THE COUNT

Sent: Tuesday, July 08, 2003 2:21 PM
To: 'info_@post.com'

Dear Miss Victoria,

In response to your fax, here is the information requested regarding a transfer from Nigeria.

I apologize for the delay since my fax machine and computer were recently damaged by a lightning strike.
I should get my fax back next week.

Thank you for your understanding.

Bank Name:Branch Bank of Dummkopf. Berlin
Account Name: Pendejo Builders
Account Number: 4785685314-256-14
Swift Code: A567
Sort Code: 419
ABA Number: N/A
Bank Code: N/A


DR ALI GARUBA

Sent: Wednesday, July 09, 2003 4:00 AM
Subject: GET BACK ME

Dear Mr. Count,

Thanks for your mail of yesterday and today, am making all possible arrangement to make sure the fund is transfer with immediate effect without any further delay. Am in receipt of a form from your Account Manager in Germany, the moment I fill it ,I will return later in the day along with my passport.

Have you get in contact with Mr. Nico make sure you sent all the information's required to the Post Bank has requested immediately and kindly let me know your discussion.

Awaiting your urgent response after your discussion with Mr. NICO in the Post Bank. Thanks for your understanding and cooperation.

Dr Ali Garuba.


THE COUNT

Sent: Wednesday, July 09, 2003 8:16 AM
To: 'dr.aligaruba@juno.com'

Dear Dr. Ali,
GET BACK ME?
Great Googaly Moogaly Dr Ali, get a translator or something man, your English is brutal.
I am confused and frustrated. Please, please, help me. I am in dire situation. First the Post Bank sends me a fax to email my bank things to info_@post.com, and I did. Here is a copy of the email.

(included previous e-mail to Miss Victoria)

Now, you are telling me that I need to work it out with Mr. NICO, who I have already contacted?
WHAT ARE DOING MAN!
WHAT IS GOING ON???

I have done my part--yet I am STILL waiting for your information. My German bank is yelling at me. I had to bribe Arnold Schwarzenegger $10,000 USD to help me lock up the deal through the Bank of Dummkopf for our transaction. He is like a crazed Running Man to get this closed. He is just concerned that this deal may be True Lies so he sends the form to me to be safe and YOU CAN'T FILL IT OUT? Now, Arnold wants HIS money. Dr. Ali, I am not sure if you have ever dealt with big Bavarian Germans. If you anger them, that is a REAL bad thing. If I don't take care of Arnold, he will become enraged to the likes of Conan the Barbarian, and if that happens, my knee caps will become a shattered mess. Then, he'll want to find you, and we don't want that.

[Scam-o-note: We feel compelled to point out that the Arnold Schwarzenegger which the Count probably has in mind is from Austria. We're not looking for trouble.]

I am scheduled to close on the land deal of my Casino on Friday in North Dakota. I need cash to close. If we can't lock this up soon, I will be forced to cash in my bonds from the Texas Beef Market that Sam gave me a tip on. This is really dragging on too long, with too many people and now too many questions.

I need your passport copy and form filled out. HOW HARD IS THAT? Then you send it to me, I send it to my bank and then you transfer the money. How hard is that?
Please my friend, we must use EXTREME URGENCY or deal will be jeopardized.


DR ALI GARUBA

Sent: Wednesday, July 09, 2003 1:25 PM
To: The Count
Subject: URGENT RESPONSE 1

DEAR COUNT

AS REQUESTED TO PUSH AHEAD OUR BUSINESS TO ITS SUCCESSFUL CONCLUSION,THE ATTACHED FORM HAVE BEEN FILLED AS INSTRUCTED INCLUDING MY PASSPORT PHOTOGRAPH AND I HOPE YOUR BANK SHALL ALSO BE MY BANK AS SOON AS YOU CONCLUDE WITH DR.NICO OF POST BANK NV TO BE MY BANK AS TO CONTAIN MY OWN SHARE.

HOWEVER,I WOULD HAVE CONTACTED YOU ALL THIS WHILE BUT IT WAS QUITE UNFORTUNATE THAT WE HAD TWO WEEKS STRIKE IN NIGERIA DUE TO INCREASE IN FUEL PRODUCTS BY THE PRESIDENT OF FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA,PLEASE DON'T BE ANGRY WITH ME BECAUSE OF THE POOR CONDITION AND STATUS I AM BEING LURED INTO.

FINALLY CONCLUDE WITH DR.NICO OF POST BANK NV AND GIVE ME A FEED BACK TO ENABLE ME KNOW MY MOTIONS.

THANKS,I WILL CONTINUE TO PUT YOU IN MY PRAYER.

REGARDS,
DR.ALI GARUBA


THE COUNT

Sent: Wednesday, July 09, 2003 2:18 PM
To: 'dr.aligaruba@juno.com'

Dear Dr. Ali,

Thank you for completing the information. I am sorry that I went nuts and yelled at you. I am under a lot of stress. That was inconsiderate and I apologize. After all, you are DA MAN in this deal. It isn't every day that you build a Casino. Ugh.

Anyway, Mike Brady submitted the plans of the Casino and they were approved by the North Dakota Coastal Commission. Woo hoo!! All they need now is the down payment and we are ready to go.

I forwarded your information to Arnold Schwarzenegger. However, it is 3AM in Germany [and Austria, too, for that matter], so he won't see it until tomorrow. I am sure that everything will be okay.

I am waiting to hear from NICO. I will send him another email.

Thank you for the patience and understanding.


THE COUNT

Sent: Thursday, July 03, 2003 12:56 PM
To: 'ovnico@post.com'

Dr. Mr. Overwijn,

Greetings and most excellent wishes to you.

I thank you kindly for the fax outlining the details of our transaction.

I attempted to call your number a few times, but I kept getting a weird sound and then disconnected. Are you having phone problems?

Anyway, I thought that I should contact you for the final procedures.

I have notified my account manager Arnold Schwarzenegger at the Bank of Dummkopf in Berlin that we are close to completing the deal.

Sincerely,
The Count
Pendejo Builders


NICO OVEWNIJ

From: nico ovewnij [mailto:ovnico@post.com]
Sent: Thursday, July 10, 2003 4:26 AM
To: The Count

DEAR SIR,

WE RECIEVE YOUR MASSAGE BUT UNFORTUNATELY WE CAN NOT DO ANYTHING WITHOUT YOU FILLING THE FORM WE SENT TO YOU, RETURN THE FORM WITH YOUR BANK DETAILS AND THEM WE CAN TRANSFER THE FUNDS TO YOU.

BEST REGARDS
DR.NICO OVERWIJN


THE COUNT

Sent: Thursday, July 10, 2003 8:08 AM

Dear Mr. Nico Overwijn.
I am confused. I got a fax from Miss Victoria requesting the information and I sent it.
You have never asked for my information before. What's the deal?


THE COUNT

Sent: Thursday, July 10, 2003 11:57 AM

My friend Dr. Ali,

I just got a rather disturbing email from Mr. Nico. He is claiming that he is still waiting for my bank information. I sent that to the info_@post.com email address. I am getting sick and tired of all this run around. I am beginning to think that this whole thing is a just some kind of game or something. I am a very busy person and we have been screwing around with this deal for 2 weeks now. I am at my wits end. Can you PLEASE get your banker to get his head on straight?

More News: As I mentioned yesterday, I sent your document to Arnold Schwarzenegger, my bank associate in Germany. He just emailed me. He thanks you for the document, but is demanding a full passport or state ID copy. Due to the large amount of transfer, he stated that it is impetrative to know who exactly we are dealing with.

See what you can do, and also please see what the deal is with Niko.

Thanks
The Count


DR ALI GARUBA

Sent: Thursday, July 10, 2003 1:47 PM


DEAR BROTHER THE COUNT

I AM HAPPY THAT YOU ARE AN ACTION MACHINE BY MEETING WITH YOUR BANK AND PROMPT RESPONSE TO DR NICO, OF WHICH YOU SENT THE EVIDENCE COPLIE.

I AM AWAITING MORE DETAIL FROM YOU GUYS AS SOON MR NICO TURN UP TO YOU POSITIVELY.

HERE A BLESSED AND WONDERFULL MOMENT UNTIL WE MEET TOGETHER AND DEATH WILL NOT DO US APART

THANKS
REGARDS
DR.ALI GARUBA

(Wow, Dr. Ali really is my buddy now, despite a somewhat hostile me. Death will not do us apart? What are we getting married? Think they are up to something? You bet! Finally, the scam)


NICO OVEWNIJ

Sent: Friday, July 11, 2003 5:08 AM
To: The Count

DEAR SIR,

WE HAVE RECIEVE THE INFORMATION YOU SENT AND WITH THE ONE WE HAVE IS THE SAME SO YOU ARE THE REIGHTFUL ONWER OF THE SAID FUNDS.

THERFORE WE GOING TO TRANSFER THE FUNDS TO YOUR NOMINATED BANK ACCOUNT IMMEDIATELY AS SOON AS YOU PAY THE INTERNAL CHARGES AND C.O.T/V.A.T OF ONE THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED AND FORTY FIVE EURO FIFTY EURO CENT ONLY (1,245.50)THIS FEES CAN NOT BE DIDUCTED IT WILL BE PAID BY YOU.
WE ARE WAITING FOR YOUR RESPONSE.

BEST REGARDS DR.NICO OVERWIJN


THE COUNT

Sent: Friday, July 11, 2003 7:47 AM
To: 'nico ovewnij'


Dear Dr. Nico,

Thank you for the response. In accordance with US Federal Tax Code 6.9.45(a), I will be required to submit a detailed outline of the $1,245.50 "internal fee" for my fiscal 2003 year taxes. Basically, it will help me protect the assets that are getting transferred from taxation. It is great how the law makers make lots of loopholes and stuff. Trust me, if I had to pay 16% on this stash of wealth it would be quite a hit. Also, it will help avoid German surcharges as well. Please send that ASAP. Also, how am I supposed to pay this?


THE COUNT

Sent: Friday, July 11, 2003 8:17 AM To: 'dr.aligaruba@juno.com' Subject:

Dear Dr Ali,

My friend, I got this email from Dr. Nico asking for $1245.50 Euro in fees. I responded that I need a detailed invoice for tax purposes to cover my assets from taxation. Not a big deal, that is petty change compared to the over all costs of the Casino project. I can cover that no problem.

Anyway, Dr. Nico did not mention how he wanted the money sent, so I asked for that information. In the meantime, I called my financial adviser Arnold Schwarzenegger at the Bank of Dummkopf in Germany, to begin the process to transfer the fee. He became enraged and very mad. He demanded information about the plan, and I did. He told me that there is no Post Bank in the Netherlands.

Dr. Ali, Mr. Schwarzenegger is a top banker in Germany and knows his stuff. I did not believe him, but went online and found no match either! This is horrible. I am worried that Dr. Nico is trying to rob you and scam me out of money too. Since all of the money is supposedly in the Netherlands, I am not sure what to do. I would hate to see your fortune be lost forever!

Dr. Ali, What shall we do?

(After several frustrating emails by me, Dr. Ali finally cracks when I accuse "Nico" of fraud, even though there really is a Post Bank in the Netherlands.)


DR ALI GARUBA

Sent: Saturday, July 12, 2003 9:37 AM
Subject: TILL MONDAY

DEAR COUNT,
I AM NOT HAPPY WITH YOUR E-MAIL DATED 10/6/03.THAT DR NICO DID THIS OR THAT, IF YOU FOLLOW DR NICO INSTRUCTION SOMETHING BETTER THAT YOU EXPECTED WILL SURELY BREAKTHROUGH.

HOWEVER HOW CAN YOU BE SICK AND TIRED OF A BUSINESS I GAVE YOU TO BEHOLD TO ITS SUCCESSFUL END.

ANY WAY, CALL DR NICO ON PHONE ASK HIM WHAT HE WANT YOU TO DO TO ENABLE YOU RECEVIE YOUR FUND WITHIN 48HOURS BY WIRE TRANSFER AS SOON AS YOU DISCUSSED WITH HIM, PLEASE GIVE ME A FEED BACK ON MONDAY.

WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU.
THANKS
DR ALI GARUBA


NICO OVEWNIJ

Sent: Monday, July 14, 2003 6:22 AM
To: The Count
Subject: Re:

DEAR SIR,

WE GOT YOUR MAIL AND I THINK IT IS BETTER IF YOU CAN SEND THE MONEY VIA WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER,WHICH IS THE FASTEST WAY OF SENDING MONEY,WITH THE NAME OF OUR SEC.MRS.LINDA VAN DIJK OR YOU CAN TELL ME IF YOU WANT OTHER OPTION

BEST REGARDS
DR.NICO OVERWIJN

(The Dr. wants to blow a gasket, but he has to be nice to me, thinking payday is close at hand.)


DR ALI GARUBA

Sent: Sunday, July 13, 2003 1:00 PM
Subject: URGENT REPLY

DEAR COUNT
HOW ARE YOU TODAY I RECIEVED YOUR E-MAIL DATED 12/6/03 WHICH IS FULL OF CONFUSION, IF YOUR BANKER MANAGER CAN OPEN HIS MOUTH AND TELL YOU THAT THERE IS NO BANK IN EUROPE CALLED POST BANK IT THEN MEANS YOUR BANK MANAGER IS UNPROFIESCONAL AND ENEMY TO GOOD NEWS,

LOOK MY FRIEND YOUR PROBLEM IS THAT YOU ARE TOO POOR TO PAY THAT AMOUNT OF 1245.50EURO MENTIONED TO RELEASE THIS MONEY INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.

FROM MY OWE UNDERSTANDING I CATCHUP THAT YOU WANT TO SEAT DOWN WATCHING THE FUNDS TO ENTER INTO YOUR BANK WITHOUT SWEAT BUT FOR YOU TO CONSPIRE WITH INFERVIOR BANK MANAGER TO TELL THE WORLD THAT THERE IS NO POST BANK IN NETHERLAND, MEANS THAT TWO OF YOU ARE BLINDED TO THE HIGH LEVEL.

FINALLY SINCE YOU HAVE COMMENTED THIS WORDS I HAVE HOST TRUST IN YOU. THEREFORE IT IS YOUR TURN TO FORWARD A POWER OF ATTORNEY TO CHANGE YOUR NAME TO A RELEABLE PERSON FROM U S A WHO KNOW WHAT IS UP TO.AS I CAN NOT KEEP ON WAESTING MY TIME, CHASING A SHADOW.

CHECK THIS WEB SIT OF POST BANK WWW.POSTBANK.NL TO FIND OUT IF YOU NO HOW MUCH IT COST ME BEFORE THIS FUND MOVE OUT OF CENTER BANK OF NIGERIA YOU WILL NOT SAY WHAT YOU ARE SAYING.

THANKS AND BE GOOD

DR ALI GARUBA


THE COUNT

Sent: Monday, July 14, 2003 8:09 AM
To: 'dr.aligaruba@juno.com'
Subject:

I am sorry that you have lost trust in me. I tore up the check for $1245.50 and threw it in the trash.

If you did some simple research on my information, you would have figured that out a long time a go. I am done, forget it.

Thank you for your consideration, and I wish you success in the future.


DR ALI GARUBA

Sent: Monday, July 14, 2003 9:15 AM To: The Count Subject: GET BACK TO ME TODAY

DEAR COUNT,
THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL , YOU SHLOUD UNDERSTAND THAT IS YOUR ACCOUNT MANAGER IS TRY TO BE UP TO SOMETHING THAT I COULD NOT BELIVE

SO I AM SORRY TO BE HARD ON YOU IN MY LAST MAIL TRY TO CAUTION MR ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER ON THIS DEAL PLEASE TRY AND CALL DR NICO, SO THAT THIS FUND CAN BE WIRE TO YOUR ACCOUNT WITHIN 48HOUR PLEASE LET MOVE FORWARD

THANKS GOD BLESS
DR ALIGARUBA

(He just does not get it. This is beyond comical...oh what the heck, I'll press on..)


THE COUNT

Sent: Monday, July 14, 2003 9:55 AM
Subject:

Dear Dr. Ali,
O.K.
I did indeed see that Post Bank exists in the Netherlands. I should have known better than to trust Schwarzenegger, he was quite a work of art anyway. I think that he was trying to embezzle the transaction. I have since fired him as my German Financial advisor over the weekend after reading your email. Thanks for your help and guidance. Through a network of contacts, I have retained the services of another Bavarian, Mr. Santa Klaus. It was like Christmas came early. He is much better.

I tried to call Dr. Nico, all I get is your call cannot be completed as dialed. I don't know, it may be me or something. He sent me an email advising that the Western Union should be sent to MRS.LINDA VAN DIJK but gave no other information. How am I supposed to send something with out an address? The folks at Western Union looked at me like I was some kind of idiot.

You know what, I have made tens of millions from the sale of my carp farm in Japan, and I was able to get financing for my oceanside casino in North Dakota from a private group of investors here in the US. We estimate that in the first year, we will make enough funds to pay for the project. (approximately $42 million US) Thus, every dollar made in 2005 is pure profit, and we estimate that between $32 to $35 million.

So, I don't need your money. Mr. Klaus advised me that it is hard to cover this kind of jack from taxes anyway in Germany, and I would rather not deal with it. However, once you successfully liquidate your account, you are welcome to stay at the resort for free for a week on me. Just make sure you bring your millions to our casino, we will give you a VIP status.

I sincerely apologize for any inconvenience I may have caused, and again wish you well in future endeavors.

Sincerely,
The Count
CEO
Pendejo Builders, Inc


THE COUNT

Sent: Tuesday, July 15, 2003 3:53 PM
To: 'nico ovewnij'
Subject: RE:
Hey Nico--
Where should the Western Union be sent? The Netherlands or Nigeria? There are Western Union surcharges and I need to know.
Why are you such a pain to work with?


NICO OVEWNIJ

Sent: Thursday, July 17, 2003 2:49 AM
To: The Count
Subject: RE:

DEAR SIR,

I RECIEVE YOUR MASSAGE BUT IT WAS NOT A PROBLEM, HER FULL NAME IS LINDA SMITH VAN DIJK,SHE ALSO PICK MONEY WITH THAT NAME SO I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. WE ARE STILL WAITING FOR THE PAYMENT SO WE CAN CONCLUDE THIS TRANSACTION.

BEST REGARDS DR.NICO OVERWIJN


THE COUNT

Sent: Monday, July 18, 2003 8:36 AM
To: : 'nico ovewnij'
Subject: What the ----

Hey Dr. Nico,

You are by the far the dumbest banker in the history of civilization. Your stories change daily and the names are different. It is apparent to me that you and Dr. Ali have the IQ of a pile of rocks. It is obvious that you are either completely full of it, or completely incompetent. So for that, just go away and get a clue.

(At this point, I frustrated the hell out of them and thought it was over....but then 2 weeks later....)


DR ALI GARUBA

Sent: Thursday, August 07, 2003 6:41 AM
To: The Count
Subject: Latest Development, From Dr. Ali Garuba (Nigeria).

My dear friend The Count,
How are you doing with business? I hope your is well with you, if so glory be to God almighty.
I know you would be surprised to hear from me again. Really, I have been trying to make things easy for us so that we can be successful men at the end of the transaction. Yes I really want to conclude this transfer with you because I like your person as a full business man and also an American Citizen. I really want to invest this fund in America that is why I chose you as my partner.

I really thank God for his mighty work to this transaction. Now, I want to let you know that, the Funds (US$25.5Million) has called back to the Central Bank of Nigeria through the assistance of my friend who is the Director of Foreign Exchange Control Dept Central Bank of Nigeria.

I have spent a lot of money to make sure I finalized this transfer to this stage. Presently, the fund is now with the Central Bank of Nigeria waiting for the immediate transfer in to your nominated bank account.

But the only thing, we are to do is just to pay for the Cost of Transfer (COT) before the fund would be wired into your account. The total bill for the COT is 0.25% of the total sum of US$25.5Million, which is only but $125,000.00 to be paid as the Cost of the transfer through the Central Bank.

Really my friend, I don't need you to spend any money in this transfer. I am capable to handle my transaction, the only thing I need from you, is to safeguard the fund on my behalf as soon as the fund hit your account.

Now, I have a finance company in America who will borrow us the $125,000.00. I have concluded with them. I made them to understand that my partner in America will provide an account where the can pay in the $125,000.00 on my behalf.

So what I needed now from you is to provide an account in America where they Finance Company will pay in the fund so that you can withdraw it out, then send it to the Central Bank for the immediate release of the total fund of US$25.5Million in to your account in Germany.

So my brother and partner, this is the latest developments now. Please try to get back to me as soon as possible.
Thank you and remain blessed for me.

Yours friend & partner,
Dr. Ali Garuba.


THE COUNT

Sent: Thursday, August 07, 2003 7:36 AM Subject: The truth is out there

Dr Ali,

What a surprise to hear from you. I had thought that from the series of emails that we sent to each other, you would have figured out that I was a bigger scam artist than you.

1) I listed the Bank of Dummkopf in Berlin as my financial institution. Dummkopf is German for moron.
2) I listed a Trottel Market Management Account. Trottel is German for fool.
3) I listed my Administrative Assistant as a Ms Shania Twain to contact. Shania Twain is a popular musician in the US with several hit songs.
4) The address that I listed for the bank was 419 Dummer Verbrecher Rd. The address 419 is in honor of your Nigerian 419 scam. Dummer Verbrecher is German for stupid criminal.
5) I listed my company as Pendejo Builders. Pendejo is a vulgar slang word in Spanish.
6) My architect Mike Brady was involved. Mike Brady is a fictional TV character from the 1970's.
7) My lawyer in Germany Arnold Schwarzenegger, really annoyed you. Arnold Schwarzenegger is from Germany [Austria! please don't hurt us A.!], but he one of the most popular movie stars in North America, and might run for Governor of California.
8) I mentioned a casino on the ocean coast of North Dakota that I was building. North Dakota is a land locked state approximately 4,000 miles from the ocean in the middle of the US that borders with Canada.
9) I got YOU!!!!!!

So you see Dr. Ali or whoever you are, it is time our game is concluded. I cooked your goose. You don't have $25 million. I know it, and you know it. It is over.

Now that I have come clean, tell me your story. Were you laid off and can't find work? Are you really from Nigeria? How much do make scamming people? Just curious....

Good day.
The Count

[If only he hadn't spilled the beans about North Dakota. That was shaping up to be a pretty good ongoing tale. Kind of like the large mouth desert sand bass in BLUE CRESCENT EAT-M-UP WIGGLE-BABIES INC.]


DR ALI GARUBA

Sent: Monday, August 11, 2003 1:59 AM
Subject: mr scam:

dear count,
thanks you very much for your last mail,i think i am dealing with a human being ,i did not know that you are big scam but i thank my god that you open in time let me tell you that i am a nigeria and a senator in Nigeria doing research about 419 artists and how they tric people in USA.

I just want to enrich my self and other member of the house which i have promise about but we thank that you are a scam to the call so thank you very much

bye for now
dr ali


THE COUNT

Sent: Tuesday August 12, 2003 10:08 AM

Dr Ali,

You are a Senator doing research. That is about as lame as most of your emails. You really are better entertainment than anything on TV. Thanks for all of your efforts, you are a priceless fool! If you ever get a chance, learn English too. Anyway, have fun in "senate" and heck, I should send you a dollar, so you can buy yourself a clue.

The Count


DR ALI GARUBA

Sent: Wednesday, August 13, 2003 2:19 AM
To: The Count

bastard dog.you are very stupid to say such a thing anyway you better wash your back because very soon they will do you 2pac.

SAY YOUR LAST PRAYER.YOU HAVE 250 HOURS TO BECOME A DEAD MAN.

I WILL TELL YOU THAT YOU DONT INSULT ANYBODY YOU SEE.

MY FAMILY WILL TAKE YOU SOON. THEY ARE IN YOUR COUNTRY.

THIS A MAFIA ASSYMENT.

SEE YOU IN HELL.

NB: I KNOW YOU,INFACT ALL YOUR INFORMATION.

CHECK IF YOU OFFENDEN ANYBODY CLOSE TO YOU.

REGARDS
ED.CAPO.SOCIETY



[The Lads are Italian? Who knew?]


FRANK CHIGEME

Date: Sun Sep 7, 2003 7:05:22 AM US/Pacific
Subject: Fanmail to Dr. Ali Garuba

Dear Scamorama:

LOVE YOUR SITE! I especially enjoyed the exchange between "The Count" and Dr. Ali Garuba titled "You have 250 hours to become a dead man." I enjoyed it so much that I sent fanmail to Dr. Garuba thanking him for a big laugh. You will find his response below. Enjoy!

Wally Wiseass

P.S. - No, I am not Dr. Frank Chigeme (or Wally for that matter). This is an address that I managed to take away from a 419 scammer, but that's another story.


DR ALI GARUBA

From : dr.aligaruba@juno.com
To : frank_chigeme
Subject : IDIOT OF THE YEAR
Date : Fri, 5 Sep 2003 02:01:06 GMT

HELLO FRANK,
LET ME TELL YOU YOU ARE A POOR MAN TOO ANY MAN DEMANDING WHAT DOES NOT BELONG TO HIM DIE ALIFE EVERY ORGANSED TROUBLE AGAINST MY LIFE BACK TO THE SENDER

YOU ARE A POST DATED IDIOT OF THE YEAR 2003 YOU ARE AN ENEMY TO GOOD NEWS LOOK MY FREIND YOU ARE TOO POOR TO DO THIS CAN OF BUSINESS SEAT DOWN THERE GOOD THING OF LIFE WILL PAST YOU IF YOU DID NOT TAKE YOU TIME I WILL SEND GOD OF IRON TO FIRE YOU TO DEATH

BYE FOR NOW



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