IT TASTES LIKE CHICKEN


Scamorama bids a warm welcome to Larry Welk and his crew. In this tale, Larry dies and leaves a bundle to a scammer. Will the scammer show up for the reading of the will? Will the scammer support Larry's lifelong cause - the Kentucky Penetanguishene Flying Turtle Conservancy? If Kentucky turtles can fly, does that mean there are no virgins left in Kentucky? Does that defy logic? [U of M alumni, take note!]

Cast:

(if you can't figure out who the scammer is, you're not reading closely enough):
Mr Joseph Odili, of the Nigerian Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (not!)
Larry Welk, kindly music teacher
Hugh Dewey, of legal firm Hewey, Dewey and Lewey
Ella Fitzgerald, another partner in the firm


Joseph Odili
ECONOMIC AND FINANCIAL CRIMES COMMISSION
15A AWOLOWO ROAD, IKOYI
LAGOS NIGERIA.
WWW.EFCCNIGERIA.ORG
Motto: No Body is Above the LAW
TEL:+234-1-7756893
FRAUD VICTIM $950,000.00
OUR REF:- 10667FV
YOUR REF:- 890
FROM THE DESK OF REV. JOSEPH ODILI
SECRETARY OF THE COMMISSION EFCC
NIGERIA.

Dear Larry Welk,
I am in receipt of mail with reference to your compensation worth Nine Hundred And Fifty Thousand Dollars only which was entrusted under my care by my boss Mr. Daniel Edewor through Nigeria Economic and Financial Crime Commission where i work as the commission's secretary. He has directed me to response to your mail as soon as you compliment on his mail by responding to me your details. Electronic Wire Transfer of the said amount to you is out of the question because of the problem we are having with {IMF} International Monetary Funds since the incident of September 11 in the United State and also the activities of terrorist all over the world. Note: that all beneficiary are insured by a high cover federal Insurance policy and thus there cannot be any deduction from your fund*, all payout is in full amount in the below options given to you

[*this is the scammer's way of heading you off at the pass should you ask him to simply deduct any 'fees' from the imaginary amount owed to you.]

Below are the commission two options in which you can get your money.

{1} You are required to appear in person to this commission office through the above address of this commission for a CASH PAYMENTS.

{2} In a situation where you cannot come over to Nigeria, an International Bank Draft from this commission account with Barclays Bank London will be issued in your favour and send to you via diplomatic courier company from here which will be under our supervision. Note as we agreed with the British and American Government, each beneficiary will bear the shipment cost and on request a scanned copy of your International Bank Draft and the customer care telephone numbers of the issuing bank in London will be send to you for your personal verification. Base on our previous experience in sending such huge amount true regular mail and it been intercepted by some fraudster the commission have decide not to use such method again in sending draft to individual.
Have a blessed day and hoping to hear from you soonest.
Regards,
Mr Joseph Odili

[Although "Odili" mentions some ongoing issue of compensation, it's imaginary and there has been no previous correspondence. The potential victim might say "hey this isn't for me". Then the scammer will say "you'll do, how'd you like to make some money?" The idea is just to get a response. But you knew that. ]

[The EFCC exists and the web site is worth reading for anyone interested in the political and law enforcement side to this subject. See their exploits on YouTube (keywords 'efcc nigeria scam'). "Joseph Odili" is not connected with the EFCC. But you knew that too. Or if not, read the FAQ.]

Larry Welk
Sir;
I resent you saying that I must come to your country to receive compensation. I also do not believe I have been duped in any way.
I am currently negotiating with a gentleman from your country to import some antique ivory jewelry, and I am confident my money is well-spent.
Nonetheless, I will entertain your request for compliance with the law. Kindly email me the required forms, and as soon as I return from my hunting trip to Montana next week, I will deal with this issue.
Regards,
Larry Welk.
Joseph Odili
Dear Larry Welk,

Thanks for your prompt response once again which stated clearly that you do appreciate this gesture from my goverment and please note that it has come to the notice of this commission that some fraudster as still taking advantage of this gesture to send you mail in regards to your benefit please disregards there mails and forward any one you receive to me for further investigation by this commission.

However, attach is a scan photocopy of the said draft boldly written in your names as requested which you are required to confirm the information on the attach draft if correct, below is the customer care numbers of the bank which you can call to find out the authenticity of the draft in person +447045749990 or +447045771972 and also note that this numbers are very busy numbers in which you may find it very difficult to get connected to. If it may interest you to know, This commission do have some of you fellow country men and women on our list as a beneficiaries to this gesture from my government through this commission.

My assistant has gone to courier service companies that we have here to make enquire the cost to courier the draft to you, they told him it will cost $195.00 United State Dollars which was the lowest we could get for door step delivery to you, the draft is an open one and is cashable all over the world already you have given us your address to courier it to you.
In the light of this, you are therefore requested to send to me immediately the shipping covering cost today to enable me do the posting and give you the tracking number so that you can locate it while on transit, i did state it clearly why we can not deduct the courier fee from you benefit in my previous mail to you.
Below is the information that you will use to send the shipping cost through Western Union Money Transfer.

Name: JOHN WILLIAMS
Address: LAGOS- NIGERIA
Text Question: WHAT COLOR
Answer: RED
I wait to hear from you in-order to proceed at once.
Regards
Rev. Joseph Odili

Larry Welk
Hello again:
Thanks for your wonderful letter.
I am eager to get this resolved as quickly as possible, so I want to find out if there is a faster way to get this delivered, other than by unsecured courier.
Cost is not an issue, so please email me back ASAP. These funds will be well used to help restore the Penetanguishene Flying Turtle population. These rare terrapins have all but disappeared from Kentucky, to the point that some say they never existed at all. Others say they were trapped to extinction, as they taste like chicken.
Nevertheless, I am determined to use my funds towards this goal.
I will be off duck hunting for three days, but I will contact you as soon as I am back in computer range.
Your Friend,
Larry.
Joseph Odili
Dear Larry Welk,
That faster way of sending you your International Bank Draft in which you have the scan copy is by courier company neither by DHL or FedEx which will not take more then 48hr to get to you mailing address, with this method it is very secure and save as far as am concern.
Regards,
Rev. Odili
Larry Welk
Reverend Odili,
Thanks for your wonderful, timely response. I am about to sit down to a mysterious surprise supper my lovely wife has concocted, but as soon as I am able I will post a certified cheque for $1,500.00 to your office. My account is set up for multiples of $1,500.00 only, so kindly use the required amount to courier me the bank draft, and send me back the difference. I also must trust in your honesty in this matter, but I feel sure you are of certain morals.
Can I assume the person responsible for the shipping is you, and at the address you gave?
Regards,
Larry Welk.
H. Dewey

[Some days later, "Rev. Odili" receives some terrible news.]

Dear sir:
I regret to inform you that Mr. Larry Welk, with whom you have been corresponding, passed away this week.
My name is Hugh Louis Dewey, and as the executor for the estate of the late Mr. Welk, I have been asked to finalize his affairs.
Larry has left the bulk of his estate to the Kentucky Penetanguishene Flying Turtle Conservancy Fund, with a provision to aid the restoration of the Kentucky Derby Stables as part of his legacy. He also had recently extracted two money orders, each in the amount of $1,500.00, to be sent to your organization.
Can you provide details of the encumbrance to the estate which you have acquired?
We will settle this within the next week.
Should you be in the Bowling Green area, services will be held next Monday, June 2nd at the Passmore Gas Dinner Theater.
I'm sure Larry would want you to experience this event.
Regards,
HDL

Joseph Odili
Dear Hugh Louis Dewey,
I offer the sincere condolences to the Mr. Larry Welk Family members of the noble soul. We pray to God to bestow his choicest blessing onto the noble soul and may he rest in vicinity of the lord, indeed it is an irreparable loss to our organization. His sudden departure has indeed left us with great sadness. He worked very discretely in the organization. We definitely will miss him. Is really quite unfortunate that great men die and I hope and pray that God will grant the family fortitude to bear the loss, your have the permission of this organization to cast the said amount and send it to us through the below informationŐs.
Names. JOEL ODOH
Address. LAGOS NIGERIA
Text Question. WHAT COLOR
Text Answer. RED.
Your very most urgent response will highly be appreciated, have a bless day.
Regards,
Rev. J. Odili
E. Fitzgerald

[Turnabout is fair play!]

Dear Sir/Madam:
This is to inform you that, under Kentucky Inheritance Statute 1997:23:44 you are eligible to receive proceeds from the estate of Lawrence Glockenspiel Welk.
Our Senior Partner, Mr. Hubert (Hugh) Louis Dewey, has instructed me to expedite disbursement of Mr. Welk's estate to respective parties.
As legal agents for the late Mr. Welk, we are responsible for the disposal of his worldly assets. The most recent note I received from Mr. Dewey indicates that Mr. Welk had left two cheques, totaling $30,000.00 to be sent to your organization.
Since his demise, of course, all outstanding cheques have been returned to our escrow account; hence all payments will be made from this account.
Kentucky state law requires that beneficiaries be present for reading of the will.
Exceptions to this requirement can be made in cases such as: serving military or diplomats abroad; bedridden or infirm dependants; or clergy on missionary retreats.
Since you are a Reverend in Nigeria, we can ask for a dispensation in this case, providing you are able to fulfill the identification requirements.
Kindly email us a copy of your passport, driver's license, Government employee card, or other picture identification, along with a photograph of yourself holding a sign, as approved by the State of Kentucky.
This sign should read "My Name is (your name)". It should also read "Bluegrass State University".
We await your response.
Sincerely,
Ella Fitzgerald, LLBeAn

[No further correspondence from the good Reverend. Possibly he smells a rat?]

[If mystified by all this, read The Main Page.]

 

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