PLEASE DON'T BE WORRIED

A six-week bait from the lovely and talented Eliza Dane, whose previous appearances include OPERATION AMSTERDAM: FLIGHT OF THE WILD ROSE and A TALE OF TWO DANES

Benson Briggs is a man with a plan - and $18,000,000.
Can Eliza Dane help get his money out of the country? Well, no.
Has he just got himself into a whole heap of trouble? Well, yes.
This bait proved that no scam letter should be tossed aside... it can always become a resource.

The Lads:
Benson Briggs, Operation Manager of United Bank for Africa Plc (U.B.A)
Bernard Lisa, Barrister Lad

The Baiter:
Eliza Dane, student of botanical science; Odin-worshipping Goth with seriously bad attitude.
assisted by
Abu Bello, Tunde Bolaji, and Grace Udoh, fake 419ers brought in to complicate matters and mindfuck the Lads.

Bring on the poor fool...

Benson Briggs

Date: 27-03-2006

FROM :MR BENSON BRIGGS
AUDITING AND ACCOUNTING UNIT.
FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPT.
UNITED BANK FOR AFRICA PLC.

Greetings,
RE: TRANSFER OF [US$18,000,000.00 [Eighteen Million U.S Dollars]
I apologize if the contents here under are contrary to your moral ethics.But please treat with absolute secrecy and personal.I discovered a dormant account in my office, as Operation Manager of United Bank for Africa Plc (U.B.A) It will be in my interest to transfer this fund worth $18,000,000.00 million dollar in an account offshore. If you can be a collaborator to this please indicate interest immediately for us to proceed. First transfer to your account Will be $8 million. You will keep 30% percent interest of the total Fund.10% for charity both in Africa and in your country while the remaining 5% will be set aside to settle expenses both parties might incure during the transfer process.Your contact phone numbers and name will be necessary for this effect.Upon the receipt of your reply,
I will send to you a detailed information about the transaction.I will not fail to bring to your notice this business is 100% risk and trouble free and that you should not entertain any fear as all modalities for fund transfer can be finalized within 7 to 9 banking days.
Regards and respect,
MR BENSON BRIGGS
Operation Manager of United Bank for Africa Plc (U.B.A)



Another Dead Bank Customer? Let's draw him in and see what's on offer.

Eliza Dane

Dear Mr Briggs,
Please explain further - I am rather puzzled that I was chosen to receive this message.
Regards,
Eliza Dane



But first - a bunch of questions.

Benson Briggs

Date: 28-03-2006

Dear Eliza,
I recieved your message and may i firstly show my appreciation for your willingness to do business with me.I want us to work together to have these funds released in your name as next of kin to the late account holder. Let me reassure you that this business is 100% free. and I am sure that you are going to be happy with me very shortly.
However,I brought this business to you in view of creating everlasting business relationship. Getting this money into your account is not a problem but the safety of my share when it get to your nonminated account till i come to your country. All i need from for you is to follow my instruction till the money is transfer to your account.
You may required to come my office here and sign some document so that you can see things yourself. It will also help buid trust between to parties and You will see that I am man of my word. As you can see this business requires a capable and honest person to handle, I hope you have these qualities.If i am not sure of this business i would not have been wasting my time and money on communicating you. I will supply you with my full identification and get necessary documents for release of these funds in your name, but i need more personal information from you to enable get some required document in your name.
Your full names and address?
Your age and marital status?
your occupation and position?
Your Phone and fax numbers?
Your Religion?
Your Country?
Investment information?
Best Regards
Mr Benson Briggs



Here are some answers, a couple of questions, and the obligatory reason why phone calls are out of the question.

Eliza Dane

Dear Mr Briggs,
I'm not sure where to start with this.
You're talking about an "everlasting business relationship" yet my part in this business was, as far as I could tell, to arrange the transfer of funds. You said nothing about further business.
However, we can work this out, I guess.
Your full names and address?
Elizabeth Danielle Dane
35 Westmoreland Grove, Glebe, Sydney
Your age and marital status? 22 years old, single
Your occupation and position? Student of botanical science
Your Phone and fax numbers? (02) 9649 3589
Please note that this number is shared with my family and is not a secure line if confidentiality is needed. My sister Sophie is also the most likely person to answer it. The phone is also locked out of international numbers so I cannot call you on it.
No fax
Your Religion? Why do you need this? Is there a religion test for jobs in your country, wherever it is?
Your Country? Australia
Investment information? I don't understand the question.
Regards,
Eliza Dane



Well, few surprises here. He wants Eliza's passport (or a photo, failing that), and there's going to be a lawyer. Of course, who else is going to charge huge fees? At least he accepted the bit about no phone calls.

Benson Briggs

Date: 28-03-2006

Dear Eliza
Thanks for your mail and your contact informations , I am happy that we can work in mutual understanding .There is nothing to fear in this business all you have to do is to follow my instructions till you get this money into your account. I will like you to include your account number where this fund will be transfered, i will also like to have a copy of your international passport or your recent photograph.
There is nothing to fear in this business, As soon as this money get in to your account in your country and will come over for my share, and we are going to share this way, 30% and 65% you will get 30% and i will get 65% and 5% percent will be set aside for expences. The money will come bit by bit in your nominated account. I am sure you will be happy with me very shortly.
As soon as you send your account information, I will give you contact of an attorney that will represent you here till the money get to your account, and get some legal document in your name and you may require to come to my office here to sign some document so that you can see things yourself and it will build more trust to the two parties.
This business is strictly confidential till you get this money into your account, Just because of the confidentiality of this business, I will not call your family phone, all our correspondence will be on this email till we get this money into your account.
What I mean by Investment information? is that do u have any investment idea where we can invest the fund when we get it into your account? I am afraid as a student can you to handle this business, because it may require some little financial support.
Religion matters alot in this business, I cant do this business with somebody that dozent know God for the safety of my share when it get to your account.
You can call me with my private number +234 80 388 47 221 for more discussion. (Private and and Anytime)
Please endavour to reply as soon as you get my mail so that we can conclude as soon as possible. These business is extimated to be completed in next 8 to 9 working days.
I am waiting for your reply.
Regards
Benson



OK - order of business:
[1] No passport.
[2] Drop in a reference to the new tourism ad.
[3] Eliza the Goth is the one for this scam. Let's see if it's a problem.
[4] A picture of Sophie Monk - that should get him on side.


Eliza Dane

Dear Mr Briggs,
I can't supply a copy of my passport - when I got mine in 2002 the Department had me sign a form stating that I'd safeguard my passport. One thing they definitely warned about was making scans or copies. I can supply a photo taken late last year (New Year's Eve, to be exact).
On the share front - what's with the expenses bit? 5% of 18 million is $900,000 - what could cost that much? Those are the bank charges from Hel!
Investment info? Don't you have a business council in - where the bloody Hel are you? You haven't said - "you may require to come to my office here to sign some document" - where?
Anyhoo - there must be Web resources you can use to establish the best investment risks. And what's this about "financial support"? You want to spell it out?
I'll be totally frank with you on the religion front - though it shouldn't matter; I am a member of the People of Odin, worshippers of the Norse pantheon as worshipped by the Aryan volk of Europe. I am not a Christian. If this offends you, I am sorry, but you insisted on knowing.
Regards,
Eliza Dane


[[Enclosed picture of a radiantly pretty Sophie Monk, perfect complexion, blond hair blowing in the breeze.]


What's this? 'Hasan'?

Benson Briggs

Date: 28-03-2006

Dear Hasan
Thanks for mail just recieved, endavour to send your account information where the will transfer the money to you. I have started making arragement for relivant document, i will inform you later , Iam an African, Nigeria. and you may come to my country here to sign some document so that we can see and talk more.
Note, You should know very well that business of such magnitude deserve do be done well, My reason of using attonery in this transaction is for some legal document and legimate way which is very necessary in this deal, he will be the one to represent you in my office since you are not here presently.
Here is attorney contact as i told you in last mail. kindly contact me via email. Do that now and once you receive any response from the attorney you should let me know immediately so that i will direct you more on what to do, to avoid mistake.
HIS CONTACT;
BARRISTER. Bernard LISA
BENLISA Chambers & Co.Floor
17 lamido Place wuse
Garaiki Abuja, Nigeria
Phone:234 80 35426650
PRIVATE E-MAIL: barr_lisachamber@yahoo.com
Bellow is the Letter which you will fill and give to attorney since he is going to represent you here.Rewrite and fill the space and send to him.

Date.....................
Dear Bernard Lisa
LETTER OF REPRESENTATION
Based on recommendation by a friend of mine who lives in Nigeria, I wish to contact you to give you the power of attorney to act on my behalf pertaining to the claims of US$18MILLION (Eighteen Million United State Dollars) deposited in United Bank for Africa Plc Nigeria with this account No. UBAE/2521012557 by my late Friend Mr. Clayton Reidfield who is now dead.
Sir, due to i am very busy now and it cannot be convinent for me to travel out of my country now.However, I am his rightful next of kin, this fund was actually deposited in United Bank for Africa Plc Nigeria.
If you agree to represent me in this next of kin claims and upon receipt of your agreement and response I will forward to you all required information regarding to this matter. Please send me your terms and conditions for representing me in this claim.
My details are as follows:
Email:
Address:
Tel Ph : +
Fax : +
Your age:
Regards



I know, I know, never correct a Lad... but I have to ask.

Eliza Dane

Dear Mr Briggs,
Before I do this, one small favour... why are you calling me Hasan?
Regards,
Eliza Dane



It's always the secretary's fault. The pic was a hit.

Benson Briggs

Date: 29-03-2006

Dear Eliza,
Thanks for that correction, The mistake is from my secretary, please kindly correct it and put your name immediately. Hassan is my clerk name.
Endavour send your account information and your bank address, it will help in this transaction. I also acknowledge your photogragh sent, you are such a prety lady. I am happy that we can work in a mutual understanding.
I am waiting for your urgent reply.
Regards
Benson



Eliza Dane

Mr Briggs,
Tell your secretary to pay attention, willya?
I'll get onto it now.
BTW, I sent you a pic, you want to return the favour?
Regards,
Eliza Dane



Benson Briggs

Date: 28-03-2006

Dear Eliza,
Thanks for your mail just received, kindly send the account information so that i can forward to the bank for the transfer ok.
Endavour to contact attorney so that we will proceed also, there is no much time again in this business.
I am waiting for urgent reply.
Regards
Ben



Eliza Dane

Mr Briggs,
That form is just awful. I had to do a major redraft.
Before I send it to Mr Lissa, I have to check something - is "Reidfield" the correct spelling? It looks really odd.
Here's the bank stuff. Don't lose it.
Name of Bank National Australia Bank
Branch No. 13 22 65
Address 134 Liverpool Street, Sydney, NSW 2000
Account No. G937 641 914

Regards,
Eliza Dane



Benson Briggs

Date: 29-03-2006

Dear Eliza,
Thanks for your and bank information also, i very happy that we can work in mutual understand, Please kindly recomfirm the bank information you gave to me so that they will not do any mistake in transfering the fund.
Mr Clayton Reidfield, is the late account holder, go ahead and write to attorney immediately. The "Reidfield" is very correct , write to him immediately and get back to me. Please he is not aware of my involvement in this transaction, just write him and get back to me so that i will direct you what to do.
As soon as you hear from him , Please dont hestitate to mail me for more instruction on what to do. Endavour to call my mobile number so that we can talk +234 80 388 47 221 (private and anytime)
I am waiting for your reply.
Regards
Benson



Eliza Dane

Hi Benson,
Send the info again? Ah, Thor's beard, I told you not to lose it! : )
Bank National Australia Bank
Branch No. 13 22 65
Address 134 Liverpool Street, Sydney, NSW 2000
Account No. G937 641 914
"Reidfield" is correct, huh? I should'a guessed. It's a very Yankee name. OK, I'll send the form on - but I still say the original was crap. Who the Hel typed it up originally?
Benson,
I told you I couldn't call. No international calls possible, remember?
Regards,
Eliza
PS No photo of you?



Eliza Dane

Date 29/03/2006

Dear Mr Lisa
LETTER OF REPRESENTATION
Based on a recommendation by a personal contact in Nigeria, I wish to give you the power of attorney to act on my behalf pertaining to the claims of US$18MILLION (Eighteen Million United State Dollars) deposited in United Bank for Africa Plc Nigeria with this account No. UBAE/2521012557 by my late friend Mr. Clayton Reidfield.
I am his rightful next of kin. However, owing to personal commitments it is inconvenient for me to travel to Nigeria at this time.
If you agree to represent me in this next of kin claim, upon receipt of your agreement and response, I will forward to you all required information regarding to this matter. Please send me your terms and conditions for representing me in this claim.
My details are as follows:
Email xxxxxxx@xxxxxxx.au
Address 35 Westmoreland Grove, Glebe, Sydney
Tel Ph (02) 9649 3589
Age 22
For personal reasons I would request that no communication by telephone be made until further notice.
Regards
Eliza Dane



Bernard Lisa

30 March 2006

BARRISTER. Bernard LISA
BENLISA Chambers & Co.Floor
17 lamido Place wuse
Garaiki Abuja, Nigeria
Phone:234 80 35426650
PRIVATE E-MAIL: barr_lisachamber@yahoo.com

ATTN: Eliza Dane,
These chambers wish to acknowledge the receipt of your mail sent to this chambers for representation, On the requesting for our representation on the claim as you mentioned with the following bank in United Bank for Africa Plc Nigeria with this account No. UBAE/2521012557 of your late friend ( Mr. Clayton Reidfield ), With the information provide by you, To ensure we carry out investigation and findings in the bank by tommorow to know the existing of the claims.I will get back to you after knowing the existing of the claims with the result of findings and then we will let you know what is required for the transfer of the fund and our consultation fee.
We need following identity of yours. A copy of your recent passport photograph and Driving license or International passport for identification. we also need your full and your occupation.
We wish to serve you better .
Best Wishes
Barr Benard Lisa
(Senior Partner)



I sent another Sophie Monk pic, a head-and-shoulders shot that looked vaguely like a passport photo.

Eliza Dane

Dear Mr Lisa
, A recent passport photo I can provide - but a scan of my passport is out of the question. DFAT rules are that no copies of any sort can be made of passports - xeroxes, scans, the lot. I'm sorry, but with security concerns as they are...
"[W]e also need your full and your occupation" - there's something missing, what is it please?
Regards,
Eliza Dane


[Headshot of Sophie Monk. Nobody looks that good in a passport photo.]


Benson Briggs

Date: 30-03-2006

Dear Eliza,
Thanks for your mail, i am happy that your have re-comfirmed the account information so that they will not pay to the wrong information. I am happy that we can conclude this business in mutual understanding,
I will send to your work identification photograph for your filling too. but my scanner is faulty, i will endavour to send it tommorwo or next.
Have your heard from the attorney? please dont fail to inform me as soon as you hear from him so that i will direct you on what to do immediately.
I am waiting for your reply.
Regards
Benson.



Eliza Dane

Hi Benson,
I just heard from Mr Lisa.
He wanted a copy of my passport and a passport photo. I don't know about why he'd want the pic (I sent him one) but the passport copy's not a go. DFAT explained it pretty well when I got mine. He also wanted "[my] full and [my] occupation" - I think he left a bit out. I asked him to fill in the gap. No way am I going to second-guess him.
Regards,
Eliza



Bernard Lisa

31 March 2006

ATTN: Eliza Dane,
These chambers wish to acknowledge the passport photograph sent to us for filling. The onmission there is your full bank information where you fund will be transfer. Kindly sendit to enable us give the bank . I will inform you our result after our investigaions tommorow in the bank.
We wish to serve you better .
Best Wishes
Barr Benard Lisa (Senior Partner)



Eliza is always a bit prickly when it comes to being patronised... Gungnir is Odin's spear.

Eliza Dane

Benson,
Thor's beard, of course I asked Mr Lisa to put the missing words in! It's as plain a thing as Gungnir's point. Don't patronise me, OK?
He wants my bank details. That I can supply. He seems to have accepted about the passport.
Is your scanner repaired yet?
Regards,
Eliza



Eliza Dane

Dear Mr Lisa
, My banking details are:
Bank National Australia Bank
Branch No. 13 22 65
Address 134 Liverpool Street, Sydney, NSW 2000
Account No. Gxxx xxx xxx
My occupation is: student.
Regards,
Eliza Dane



Benson Briggs

31 March 2006

Dear Elisa,
Thanks for your mail and update, My scanner will be ok later today and i will scan my work identification photopraph to you for your filling. Have you had any report from attorney? please inform me as soon as you hear from him so that i will direct on what to do next. Always remember that he is not aware that I am the brain behind this business.
Note impotantly, Please Endavour to keep this business secret to avoid mistake along the line.
I am online waiting for you reply.
Regards
Benson.



Eliza Dane

Hi Benson,
Nothing yet. I'll log on again later and check for it.
Don't worry, I'll be discreet. My sister Sophie got all the gossip genes...
Eliza



Ouch! Not only do they want a huge fee for getting a few papers, they want 5%, the greedy bastards!

Bernard Lisa

Date..31 03-2006

ATTN: Eliza Dane,
These chambers wish to acknowledge the receipt of your mail sent to this chambers for representation, On the requesting for our representation on the claim as you mentioned with the following bank, United bank of africa Plc With no indication of prior application for claim by any body in the past as the bank public relation officer informed the chambers.
So with this record your claim, will be taken care of by this chambers and your full representation has been accepted.
Moreover from our findings the total sum in the account is US$18,000,000.00 in the estimation as the accruewed interest is being worked on the funds can be claimed, but it will involves a lot of legal documentation and Presentation that are ad fiche to actualizing this claim since the deceased is a foreigner The intricacies of the case can be taken care of by this chambers as we had done for some of our foreign clients in the past and the claim guaranteed for remittance once full documentation are completed as stated below:
The bank is requesting for the following documents below, For this task to be actualized, the chambers do hereby accept to provide the below documents,
1. Affidavit of facts as to the person (You) and the deceased
2. Death certificated from the hospital of death
3. Letter of administration from probate registry
The works before this chambers are enormous but the actualization of the issue is guaranteed once these facts are established which under your co-operation will take a maximum of 5 days for the paper work and 2 days for the actual remittance, as we have and had been part of this kind of actualization process in the past for our notable clients of universal position.
Our acceptance for your representation will be in adherence to the tenets and regulation of this chambers. From our inquiries on how to secure all these documents is stated as below with their cost:
1. Affidavit of facts as to the person (You) and the deceased $2,150
2. Death certificated from the hospital of death : $1,950
3. Letter of administration from probate registry : $3,180
4. The chambers retainership/legal fees : $4,000
GRAND TOTAL:--------------------------------- $11,280 USD
Note, This chamber is entitle of 5% of the total sum of $18 000,000.00 after the money is transfer to your nominated account. We await your quickest response so that this chambers will proceed with filing of the premliminary applications on your behalf to the bank and also advise you on how to make the above payment to this chambers so that we can commence work in full concerning your claims.
Thanking you for your patronage.
Yours faithfully,
BARRISTER. BERNARD LISA
(senior Partner).



Eliza Dane

Benson,
This just arrived.
Holy Odin! What the Hel are they trying to pull? $11,000+ dollars for some papers, and then they actually expect 5% of the money? Who the fuck do they think they are?
Eliza



I've used the analogy to the Magna Carta and the Declaration of Independence a few times - so bring in something topical...

Eliza Dane

Dear Mr Lisa
, Duly noted, but I'm surprised at two things.
[1] The fees for paperwork look absurdly high. I might consider paying thousands for a document if it was the Magna Carta or the Declaration of Independence, or it had to be secured from a bank vault in Sadr City or somewhere like that. What you're going to get doesn't fall into either category.
[2] Why on earth would you and your firm be entitled to 5% of the money? You're charging over $11,000 for some papers, and as well you expect to get $900,000 for (your figures) seven days' work? This doesn't make any sense.
I will be communicating further in the near future.
Regards,
Eliza Dane



Bernard Lisa

Date..31 03-2006

ATTN: Eliza Dane,
These chambers wish to inform you that, The 11,280 USD Charged is to secure some relivant documet from variuos department like Ministry of justice and ministry of finance that will help you get this fund in your nominated account. Whoever that directed you to our firm knows our modulities and method. we charge for what we can do.
I am sure that we are going to give the best. we are going to represent you here and get the said document in your name, we will send a copy to you and to the bank for approval, and soon as bank get this they will inform you on how the date of transfer.
I will inform you our mode of payment as soon as you ready to make the payment.
Thanking you for your patronage.
Yours faithfully,
BARRISTER. BERNARD LISA
(senior Partner)



Benson Briggs

Date. 01-04-2006

Dear Elisa,
I got your mail and update from attorney, I really that God that you can seen that what iam telling you is not just story but truth, You should know very well that buisness of such magnitude deserve little sacrifice, i have been makinng arrangement on how much i can afford so that we can give attorney for the document, You too search and see how much you can afford so that we can team up and pay so that he will proceed in getting the document.
Kindly write him and ask him his mode of payment , that you will try and look for money and see how much you can afford. as soon as you get that , i will tell you how iam going to make the little payment to him so that he will not know my involvement in this business.
Dont worry much we are going to overcome the bill and get the money transfer to your account in australia soon.
Get back to me as soon as you get the mode of payment, pls dont be harsh on the attorney so that he will help you get the fund. he is a very honest man.
I am waiting for reply.
Ben



Eliza Dane

Benson,
What the Hel gave the idea that I doubted you? You're not bottling out on me are you? I don't doubt you, but I've got some major doubts about this Lisa dude. This is what he told me when I questioned the fees: "These chambers wish to inform you that, The 11,280 USD Charged is to secure some relivant documet from variuos department like Ministry of justice and ministry of finance that will help you get this fund in your nominated account. Whoever that directed you to our firm knows our modulities and method. we charge for what we can do."
What are "modulities"?
And he still hasn't explained why it's going to cost so much to get these papers. FOI is never that expensive. I'm not asking for something from the KGB archives. He wants two thousand dollars for a fucking death certificate! This is plain MAD!
Then you said this: "we can team up and pay so that he will proceed in getting the document". Freya's mercy - are you saying we pay him IN ADVANCE? Not only does he want to gouge us, but he wants cash up front!
Mr Lisa may be honest - I've got no reason to doubt him - but he's blowing smoke if he thinks I'll meet these terms. And he's off his face if he thinks he's getting 5% as well.
Eliza



Eliza Dane

Dear Mr Lisa
, I'll comment on your fees another time. I'll ask just this:
What makes you believe that you are entitled to 5% of the $18 million?
Regards,
Eliza Dane



Benson Briggs

Date. 01-04-2006

Dear Elisa,
Thanks for your mail, Now is 12.15am in my country and still awake thinking on what to do in this attorney payment, before this mail came. I have discuss with my friend who agree to borrow me $5000 and i have $3000 athand already that will make total $8000, kindly write to him now and tell him that you have $8000 athand and you will send it to his chamber through your local contact and Family friend, By name Mrs Maria Ezema, although he may respond to you now, now is midnight in my country. but he may respond tommorow.
Elisa, Mrs Ezema is a family friend, i have discussed it with her on how she will make the payment on your behalf. Ask attaoney to give you the name of contact person or cashier who will receive the money from her tommorow.
Please Note impotantly, Barrister has done this to many beneficiary before in our office here and he has also created good relationship with my directors,
That is main reason i want him to do this for us. He will represent you here at my bank any time they needs you for signing till the fund get to your account.
Lets give him this $8000, and hear what he will say , all i want from you is to work according to my instruction till we get this money transfer in your account.
We are working towards getting $18million and accumulated intrest so relax we are going to enjoy very shortly.
Note Miss Eliza, can you come down to my office here so that you can do the signing yourself ? it another way of reducing cost and building trust between us too.
You should not be angry with him, That is their normal charge for benaficairy forign transfer of such magnitude. I am sure he is capable of doing this for us.
5% of every fund transferd is for them but it should be after successfull transfer .
I am waiting for your reply.
Regards
Ben.
Benson,



Eliza Dane

You pretty much answered my question - yes, Mr Liza does want payment in advance, so you have to scrape up cash and borrow from your friends, and presumably so do I.
This is just wrong.
Why is he asking for money up front? My family's had two dealings with lawyers (probate and business matters) and in both cases the fees were paid when the work was done. Doctors, tradesmen, plant suppliers... all of them submit an invoice when the job is done, not before. For some reason, Mr Lisa wants it now. I'm suspicious, I don't quite know why, but I am.
As for his demand for 5%, that is just out of the question. This is a one-off deal, not the OJ trial. He has to get some papers (for which we're paying through the nose) and there's also a fee of $4,000. Over the rate I'd say, but I'll pass that for now. He is smoothing the path for us, and this is worth $900,000? No way!
You say, we're getting 18 million, let it go. Well, I don't like someone taking advantage of me. Now, coming to your office... are you in Nigeria too? I never hear anything good about it. Riots, street crime, and corruption; is it safe?
Eliza



Bernard Lisa

Date..01 04-2006

ATTN: Eliza Dane,
Thanks for your mail, we wish to let you understand that, we have been in this Job for more than 28years and we have done this kind of transfer to many client and No one have ever regret comming to this chamber. 5% percent of total money is this chamber stand for. The $11,280 USD is for your document which i will send i copy to you and to bank too for approval.
We ask for the 5% as soon as you get the total fund into your nominated account, then we will send to you our account where your will send the money. we have done it before your are not the first client comming for our representative. We are going to make out our time to be at the bank always for you till you get the money into your account.
CONGRATULATIONS
Thanking you for your patronage.
Yours faithfully,
BARRISTER. BERNARD LISA
(senior Partner).



Eliza Dane

Dear Mr Lisa
, Please confirm whether or not the $11,280 is required to be paid in advance.
Regards,
Eliza Dane



Benson Briggs

Date. 03-04-2006

Dear Eliza,
Thanks for your mail but i wonder why you are making things difficult for us, i told you that, This is how Benlisa Chambers handle such case, even the one he has done in the past in my office here. they have been doing it before, iam sure he is not trying to cheat us.
You should not compare australia lawyer to Nigeria lawyers, Although you are making sence in you talk but we should continue arguing on this.
Please if you must conclde this business with me you must follow my instruction till we get this money into your account. Have you ask Mr Lisa about their mode of of payment? please do so that we will proceed immediately. There is no time to waste in this business again.
Please Note importantly Eliza, I am taking advantage of you in any way, i brought this in view of creating business relation with you not taking advantage of you. You are working for the beterment of you and your family not me, I only need you to help me get this fund out since i cant do it alone,
Well, i wonder your utterances to my own country Nigeria, To be sincere with you , l can not deny my country because of her bad name. l want you to note that their are good and bad business people world over, its takes your instincts and gutts to know what is correct in your life and you do it. Nigeria is not what you take it to be . l am from Nigeria, their are still honest people in Nigeria, all l want from you is to trust me and follow my instruction l assure you that you will be happy with me regarding this business.
why i said you should come to my office here in Nigeria is to see things yourself and see Barrister Yourself, it will also help build more trust in this business and reduce cost too.
Kindly write to him and lets pay him the one i have athand and see what will be his reaction. i really want us to conlude soon.
I borrowed this money and promise to pay back by next week as soon as the transfer is done to your nominated account. I pray that God will help us.
Regards
Ben.



Eliza Dane

Benson,
I'm not trying to be difficult; I'm just following my instincts. Father Odin gives wisdom to his people, and I would be wrong to ignore my inner voice that counsels caution.
Still - if you can guarantee this deal, I guess I'll get down to business and ask Mr Lisa if your payment suggestion would work, at least some of the way. I'm not that flush with cash and I'd be hard pressed to cover even half the fee he's charging. If he didn't insist on cash up front I'd be a bit happier about things.
I guess I spoke a bit out of line about Nigeria. It's a negative overload thing - bad things make the papers, good things don't. I looked up Nigeria on travel guides and there seem to be things worth seeing. I really like the look of Sungbo Eredo. Do you know it?
Bye for now,
Eliza
PS Where the Hel is your photo!?



Eliza Dane

Dear Mr Lisa
, If I read this correctly, not only do you want the $11,280 up front, you want the $900,000 paid in as well before the fund is transferred?
Thor's beard, I never expected to meet a lawyer who fitted the cliché...
Well, I'm sorta stuck, so I'll have to pay. Unfortunately the full fee will not be payable immediately. I have a contact in your country, who will be able to supply $8,000. Please send the details to make this go ahead. Will this be sufficient to proceed?
Regards,
Eliza Dane
PS I would also like a formal invoice for the fees.



Bernard Lisa

Date 03-04-2006

ATTN: Eliza Dane,
Thanks for your mail to us , You missunderstood this chambers, we did not ask you pay us the 5% which is $900,000 now please Note, The 5% should be done immediately you receive this fund into your nominated account. You can kindly send whoever that is comming to pay the money to my office with the amount $8,000. Incase the person may not meet me in the office , let the person pay to my junior lawyer here Name Barrister Odoh jude, he is next to me. He will issue the person invoice too.
Please Note impotantly, I am only going to get the documents from various depatment and send to you but i cannot send to the bank for approval till i get the complete money $3,280. if you are comfortable with that go ahead and send your friend.
CONGRATULATIONS
Thanking you for your patronage.
Yours faithfully,
BARRISTER. BERNARD LISA
(senior Partner).



OK, time to go off script - I dusted off an old scam letter and rewrote it a bit. Never let anything go to waste...

Eliza Dane

Benson,
Read what I received an hour ago and tell me what the fuck is happening.
Why have I got it? Who is this man? How did he find out about us?
Eliza


OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT,FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA
CHIEF OLUSEGUN OBASANJO GCFR.
PRESIDENT, COMMANDER IN CHIEF OF THE ARMED FORCES
FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA
ASO-ROCK VILLA ABUJA
TEL:+234-8035374804; FAX: +234-1-4353669
PAYMENT VALUE OF $18 MILLION DOLLARS

Madam,
Following the report gathered from the probate office that some hoodlum are requesting from you some amount US$11,280.00 for fees in order to transfer the money into your account account as your inheritance.
Sequel to the report received so far from the probate office, the President Chief Olusegun Obasanjo has ordered this office to advise you to desist from communicating with those that are asking you to pay money for the reactivation fees, so call Mr. BENSON BRIGGS as Operation Manager of UNITED BANK FOR AFRICA Plc and so call LAWYER BARRISTER. Bernard LISA as they are all under investigation and soon they will be under black book of the Federal Government.
Meanwhile, this office advise you to stop any further communication with them or any one since mandate has been given to this office to take duties to transfer your INHERITANCE Fund into your account as ordered by the president.
If you will be willing to follow my instructions I promise you that before the end of this week your money will be transfered into your account.I will secure a waiver for you from the Presidency so that you will not make any payment until your money is transfered into your account.And also I will give you Guarantee that you will receive your payment if and only if you work with my instruction. We therefore, warn that you should not pass this information to the culprit as they are under trace since the government want to take them for persecution under the law. It has come to this office that you have been paying so much money to this culprit in regards to the transfer of the fund into your account.
As a matter of urgency, you are advise to send to this office your full information, telephone and fax number amount to receive, home and office address as we are in a routine check to ascertain the rightful beneficiary of the said amount you will be willing to follow my instructions I promise you that before the end of this week your money will be transfered into your account.I will secure a waiver for you from the Presidency so that you will not make any payment until your money is transfered into your account.And also I will give you guarantee that you will receive your payment if and only if you work with my instruction.
If you really want me to help you, you will have to stop further comminication with that so called bank official and so called Barrister .Since you have been dealing with them, you have not achieved anything but if you keep spending money they keep promising you that they will transfer your money to you but at the end, you will see notting.
So I am waiting to hear from you for us to move forward.
Yours Faithfully,
Abu Bello



Benson Briggs

Date 04-04-2006

Dear Elisa
Thanks for your mail and update, now i can really understand that we can work in mutual understanding, i really appreciate what you have just done by forwarding this scrap mail to me. Well, iam sure it must be from my enemy that are plan to end this transaction.
However, i brought this business to your view of creating good and everlasting business relationship with you. if iam sure of this venture this no way i can contact you or waste my resources writing you.
Please proceed without fear with barrister lisa, he is a very transperent and decent attorney here. He can never involve himself in this business, if it is not good and transparent business.
Elisa, I am a Child of God and i hate theft and dishonest business, please ignore those criminal looking for people to cheat.
Henceforth, if you receieve any mail from them please kindly ignore it and send it to me, never you reply to them or give them any of your information. they are looking for a way to divert this successfull laid down plan towards getting this fund to your nominated account in australia.
Now , i will be numbering any mail comming to you, from 1 to end , if you receive any mail from any idiot without number please ignore it and forward it to me.
Please I wait for your favourable reply.
Regards
Ben



Eliza Dane

Benson,
You have an enemy? Are you safe?
I'm sorry to say, I replied - basically saying, "Who are you?" - and he sent me a reply. He's claiming that he can do this business and asking me for money! He even enclosed an ID card! I'm seriously worried. If he knows who you are, he might come after you. I'm sending you his paperwork. Is the bank totally secure?
Can you get yourself guards when you're out of the bank?
Eliza


Att:Eliza Dane,
I recieved your mail and the contents of the mail requesting my indentification to comfirm that actualy i work with the presidency,
As a matter of fact, i am sending you my indentification card to show that i work with the presidency and also the WAIVER form for you to fill and retun as the rightfull beneficiary of the said fund.
Regarding those frud stars that you have to stay away from, i will advice you keep off from so call bank official Briggs,and so call Barrister Lisa,now you are made to understand the economic and financial crime investigator are working tirlessly to make sure that they are apprehended.
N:B Please do not disclose this informations to those criminals in orther to track them down.
However you are made to understand that this waiver covers ALL the transfer charges regarding this transaction and as soon as this form is filled with the money, the BANK will immediately recieve an instruction from the Presidency for the immediate approval of the fund into your accout in your country.
I have successfully secured the certifcate though it was a little bit difficult to obtain, I advice you fill in the certificate and return with the proceessing fees of USD$520. Make sure you do that today and get back to me as soon as possible with the following informations through western Union money transfer.
RECEIVER NAME : PETER ACHA
ADDRESS : LAGOS NIGERIA
TEST QUESTION : COLOUR
TEST ANSWER : RED
After sending do forward the 10 digit of the control number, the senders name and address. Immediatelly you fill in this waiver certificate and return, the fund will be creditted into your account within 72hours.
Thanks and God bless.
Abu Bello






[This was followed by a fake form made up on fake Presidential stationery, sporting a coat of arms: a shield topped by an eagle, two horses on either side, rampant, as to scam.]


He sent this twice with different headings - BE WORRIED and PLEASE DON'T BE WORRIED.

Benson Briggs

Date 04-04-2006

My Dear Eliza,
I am still happpy for your mail and update, I am safe and nothing is going to happen, what we are doing is not illegal, As you can see, we have to rush and conclude this business and soon as possible and get this money in your account in Australia.
They only looking for away to divert this business, we have to be fast and pay attorney to secure the neccesary document to us and send to the Bank Immediately for approval. Please dont send any information to those criminal and greedy man even reply any of their mails again, whenever you hear from the endavour to send it to me immediately so that i will direct you what to do.
Secondly, you should not inform attorney all this that is going so that he will not be angry and stop this good work for us, just write to him now and ask him to inform how you will to pay him the money so that he will proceed immediately.
Please Eliza, you should not fear or be worried about all this, there will be no problem, as soon as this money get into your nominated account, i will damage all the files use in this transaction to avoid problem and i will come over to your with my family for investment plans.
I am sure you will happy with me very shortly, please note that we should delay again till we get this money into your account.
I have seen his his paperwork and Id card, i will investigate who is behind this.
I am online waiting for your mail so that we can conlude this week.
Regards
Benson



Eliza Dane

Benson,
Don't confuse me - is it PLEASE BE WORRIED or Please Don't Be Worried? Sheeyah...
In the middle of all this, I forgot to tell you what Mr Lisa said. He wrote: "You can kindly send whoever that is comming to pay the money to my office with the amount $8,000. Incase the person may not meet me in the office , let the person pay to my junior lawyer here Name Barrister Odoh jude, he is next to me. He will issue the person invoice too."
So you can get Mrs Ezema to drop off her portion to Mr Lisa's office and I'll see about getting my share in place.
This Bello dude is a real puzzler. $520 ain't much is it? What's he after? Do you have any idea at all what his game is?
Oh - and you never said you had a family...
Eliza



Benson Briggs

Date 04-04-2006

Dear Eliza,
Thanks for your mail just recieved, Please it a mistake, what i meant there is PLEASE DON'T BE WORRIED. I very happy for your mutual understanding in this business.
I will call Mrs Ezema now and send her to go to his office and make the payment immediately. i will forward the invoice to you as soon as she comes back. Please forget completely about those greedy men and lets face our business and conclude immediately.
I am sorry that i forgot to tell you that, iam married, Iam married with two kids, don't worry you will soon see them as soon as you get this money into your account. i will come along with them to your country for my share.
Please Eliza help me make arragenemt of very nice duplets building where i will stay with my family when i come over there.
I will get back to you as soon as i make the payment so that you will hurry attorney for the relivant document.
Thanks And Remain Blessed
Regards
Benson



Eliza suddenly goes a little bit cold.

Eliza Dane

Mr Briggs,
Thought so. Just some finger trouble, eh?
Good on Mrs Ezema. Just make sure you keep her safe.
What's a "duplets building"?
Eliza Dane



Benson Briggs

Date 04-04-2006

Dear Eliza,
Thanks for your prompt replies, i will make sure that i secure Mrs Ezema and instruct her on what to do when she rich there. dont worry i will take care of that.
Secondly, A duplets is a nice executive building, that is located in fine area. i need one to buy so that my family will relax there when we come over.
Thanks for your Advice and remain Blessed
Regards
Benson



Eliza Dane

Benson,
Sorry if I sounded a bit, well, short in my last message - but after I sent you my picture, and all the nice things you said, I felt... jealous. Stupid, really. I have a man in my life who I love very much.
OK then - when you say, executive building, it sounds like you want office space. Then you say you want it for your family.
Put me right, please.
Eliza



Benson Briggs

Date 05-04-2006

Dear Eliza,
Thanks for your mail , i need a comfortable apartment not office space. that i can buy as soon i come to your country and get my share.
However, Mr Ezema has made the payment yesterday to the chamber on your behalf and attorney promised to send the receipt to you via email. please as soon as you hear from him please dont hestitate to mail me immediately so that i will direct on what to do. i have started making arrangement on how to come over as soon as you get this money into your nominated account.
Please endavour to keep this business secret to avoid problem along the line. Remember to ignore any mail from those idiot to avoid confusion.
Attarched here is my work identification photograph for your filling too.
I will be online waiting for your mail
Regards
Benson





Eliza Dane

Benson,
That's not much of a pic. But you look good - the very model of a modern businessman, smart, very urbane. I can see you at the races or at a marina, sipping white wine and yarning with the yuppies. What sort of surroundings do you want? Harbour side is way cool, but costs a mint. Or did you want a quiet leafy street? Sydney's got a lot of choices.
Yay for Mrs Ezema. Pay her back with a bit extra, OK? Friends like that should be rewarded.
And stop worrying about me giving anything away. It's that asshole Bello who's giving us trouble.
You just take care!
Eliza



He sends this one twice - once with the receipt, once without.

Bernard Lisa

Date..05- 04 -2006

ATTN: Eliza Dane,
This chambers wish to acknowledge the receipt of Patial payment of $8000 USD received this morning from one Mrs Mary Ezema for legal document on your behalf.
The documents will be ready tommorow or next. once we are through with the securing of the document then the chamber will send copies to you and to the bank for the approval of the fund and documentation.
Enclosed here is the payment Receipt,Please acknowledge the receipt of the payment reciept Please Note that we are not taking the documents to the bank for approval till we receive our balance payment of $3,280.
Thanking you for your patronage.
Yours faithfully,
BARRISTER. BERNARD LISA
(senior Partner).


[Another fake form on (this time) fake judicial stationery ("Federal High Court Abuja"), same coat of arms.]


Eliza Dane

Dear Mr Lisa
, Thanx for the update... but there's no receipt.
Eliza Dane



Eliza Dane

Benson,
I got a message from Mr Lisa saying Mrs Ezema had paid the eight thou, and he said there was a receipt - but he'd forgotten to attach it. I've told him.
Eliza



Benson Briggs

Date 05-04-2006

Dear Eliza,
Thanks for your mail and all good you said about me, i really glad we can work in mutual understanding. about the apartment, I sure you will like good thing and wherever you choose for me will be ok and i will appreciate.
Please get back to me as soon as you hear from our attorney. iam online waiting for your mail.
Thanks and remain Blessed.
Benson



Benson Briggs

Date 05-04-2006

Dear Eliza,
Thanks for your mail and update, please kindly follow him up for the receipt and make sure he send it. I am happy that the money has reach the chamber.
As soon as he send that please inform me, i will tell you what to do next.
Regards
Benson



Eliza Dane

Benson -
I may be blonde, but I'm not dumb.
Yes, I told him. He hasn't replied yet.
Eliza



Eliza Dane

Dear Mr Lisa
, That is much better.
Just pay attention next time, OK?
Regards,
Eliza Dane



Eliza Dane

Benson;
He sent me the receipt.
What happens now?
Eliza



Benson Briggs

Date 06-04-2006

Dear Eliza
Thanks for your mail and update, I am happy he later sent you the receipt, Kindly write tell him to proceed immediately in getting those needed document for the transfer. there is no time again in this business again,
I really want us to conclude and have this fund in your nominated account on monday or tuesday so that i will come over there for my share.
Please dont discuss this business with anybody over there till we get this money in your account to avoid problem along the line. we must be carefull at this stage.
Regards
Benson



Bernard Lisa

Date..06- 04 -2006

ATTN: Eliza Dane
I am directed to inform you that this two documents are now out in your favour as the sole beneficiary next of kin to the deceased Mr. Clayton Reidfield. This chamber is making every thing possible for you to receive this claim after getting remaining document from ministry of finance departments as the case may be.
Please acknowledge the receipt of this two documents in your favour.
1. AFFIDAVIT OF CLAIMS.
2. DEATH CERTIFICATE.
I will be going to ministry of finance later today for your LETTER OF ADMINISTRATION. i will florish you that later today or tommorow.
Please Note that we are not taking the documents to the bank for approval till we receive our balance payment of $3,280.
Thanking you for your patronage.
Yours faithfully,
BARRISTER. BERNARD LISA
(senior Partner).


[Two more fake forms on fake "National Population Commission" stationery, "Affidavit of Claims" and "Death Certificate", same coat of arms.]


Bernard Lisa

Date..06- 04 -2006

ATTN: Eliza Dane
Kindly send that balance through western union money transfer immediately with the following information,
Name = MR JUDE ODOH
ADDRESS= UYO NIGERIA
TEXT QUESTION= WHAT IS YOUR NAME?
TEXT ANWSER= ELIZA
Remmember to send the MTCN AND PAYMENT INFORNATION,
Kindly inform me as soo as you send the payment so that i will take the document to that bank for approval immediately.
I will send the letter of administration to you tommorow
Thanking you for your patronage.
Yours faithfully,
BARRISTER. BERNARD LISA
(senior Partner).



Benson Briggs

Date 07-04-2006

Dear Eliza,
How are you today, I hope my last message reach you and your family in good health, Have you heard from our attorney? please update me.
I am online waiting for your mail.
Regards
Benson



The Western Union comment refers to a TV ad.

Eliza Dane

Benson,
Sorry that I didn't reply sooner, the server's gone flaky and delivered a couple of days' worth of messages all in one lump.
Mr Lisa sent me payment details - Western Union - I always associate that with Chinese lads getting an advance on their allowances to buy pizzas. It doesn't quite gel with this sort of deal. But I'd better see to it - tomorrow most likely.
Eliza



Bernard Lisa

Date..07- 04 -2006

ATTN: Eliza Dane
I am directed to inform you that we have suceeded in securing the remaining document LETTER OF ADMINSTRATION from ministy of finance this morning our behalf. i will wait for the balance payment of $3,280 Immediately
As soon as you make the payment kindly inform us so that we will proceed immediately. I will send these documents to the Bank with you account information for final approval as soon as i receive the balance paymant and Bank will write and inform you when the money will get to your nominated account.
Please acknowledge the receipt of this document in your favour.
Thanking you for your patronage.
Yours faithfully,
BARRISTER. BERNARD LISA
(senior Partner).





Eliza Dane

Mr Lisa,
Sorry to have to tell you that there's a minor mistake with this form - well, actually, a rather big one. You see, I'm not MR Elizabeth D. Dane, I'm MS Elizabeth D. Dane.
I'm thinking that this is the sort of thing that might really screw matters over for us... you'd better do this one again, there might be problems as it is.
Eliza Dane



Benson Briggs

Dear Eliza,
I am suprised i have not heard from you since i sent my last mail, I hope my last message reach you and family in good health. have u heard from our attorney? please update. you should not keep silence in this stage of this transaction so that we can conclude before tuesday.
I am making serious arrangement on how to come over as soon as you receive this fund in your account next week.
Remmember to keep this business to yourself , Dont discuss this business with anybody to avoid problem along the line.
please get back to me soon.
I am online waiting for your mail.
Benson.



Some of this came from a distant memory of a Tumbleweeds panel.

Eliza Dane

Benson,
By Gungnir and Mjolnir, you are such a fucking worrywart! Take a chill pill, dude! Unpunch that panic pedal and kick that cringe binge! <Sarcasm mode engage>
Of course I've told everyone! Six talk back radio shows, 39 blogs, 18 message boards and everyone down at the college, including the cat. <sarcasm mode disengage>
Honestly, Benson,
you sound like some quavering maiden aunt. Stop pissing you pants, sport, I won't piss in your pocket. Now I've got that out of my system... Mr Lisa mucked up slightly. On one of the forms he has me down as MR Elizabeth Dane. Let's hope he puts that right, pronto. Eliza



Benson Briggs

Date 07-04-2006

Dear Eliza,
Thanks for your mail, And I am happy that you have heard from attorney, please kindly mail him for the mistake, so that he can correct it before taking the documents to bank for approval tommorow.
Please endavour to pay him the balance tommorow so that he can quickly send those document to bank tommorow to enable us get the fund into your account on monday or tuesday. tell him to issue receipt as soon as he comfirm the payment.
As soon as you make the payment toomorow via western, please inform me immediately so that i will tell you what to do next.
I will be waiting for reply tommorow
Benson



Bernard Lisa

07- 04 -2006

ATTN: Eliza Dane
We are very sorry for the mistake found in document the mistake is from the ministry of Justice, I have not take it to the Bank yet. I will take it to the ministry Justice via finance for the correction. Kindly send the balance money so that i can take other two to the bank tommorow for approval.
As soon as you make the payment kindly inform us so that we will proceed immediately.
Please accept our appology
Thanking you for your patronage.
Yours faithfully,
BARRISTER. BERNARD LISA (senior Partner).



Eliza Dane

Dear Mr Lisa
, Duly noted. My invoice for proofreading services will be on its way to you presently - I think $3,280 should be a reasonable fee. : )
Regards,
Eliza Dane



Let's try to embarrass our Lad a bit.

Eliza Dane

Benson,
Will do, but you're still sounding shrill.
Have a cup of black coffee and a good lie down.
AJ (my boyfriend) says a blowjob is very relaxing, and he should know. ; )
Matter of fact, he looked very tense today.
I should help him calm down...
Eliza



Benson Briggs

Date 08-04-2006

Dear Eliza,
Thanks for your mail, I got your mail and i understood the content, I am very ok. Please endavour to pay attorney by tommorow so that he will proceed in taking those document to the bank for approval.
Sincerely i want us to conclude this business before tuesday, so hurry and pay up.
Best Regards
Benson.



I had run out of suitable messages so I did a rewrite on a letter from Lewd Noogie's WATCHING THE DICTATIVES.

Eliza Dane

Benson,
Whoever that enemy of yours is, he doesn't give up easy. Here's what he wrote.

OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENT,FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA
CHIEF OLUSEGUN OBASANJO GCFR.
PRESIDENT, COMMANDER IN CHIEF OF THE ARMED FORCES
FEDERAL REPUBLIC OF NIGERIA
ASO-ROCK VILLA ABUJA
ATTN: MADAM

Reporting reaching us here is that some imposters have being contacting you in regards to your funds. For your information Mr.Bello has been instructed by the Presidency to take care of your case and ensure that your fund is recovered from the hands of this crudes.
You are urgently warn to discommunicate with this so called imposters for you to recover this your fund or else you will have yourself to blame.
However you are advise for your own good to go ahead and effect that mandatory fee of $520.00 dollars immediately through western Union money transfer.with the following informations::
RECEIVER NAME : PETER ACHA
ADDRESS : LAGOS NIGERIA
TEST QUESTION : COLOUR
TEST ANSWER : RED
Upon the receipt confirmation of this $520.00 dollars and the waiver certificate your fund recovering process will commernce without any delay thereby bring those culprits to court and at the same time recovering your fund from them.
Thanks for your co-operation.
Sincerely, Mr.Tunde Bolaji. Director


Holy mother Frigga, if someone did that in America, the FBI would be all over him like a rash...
I won't be able to go to Western Union until this afternoon.
I'll let you know when it's done.
Eliza



Bernard Lisa

Date..07- 04 -2006

ATTN: Eliza Dane
We wish to inform you that we are going to correct the mistake by tommorow and there will no problem in your document. The once we sent to you is for your peruse, You can equally correct yours and file it too. The most impotant thing is for the bank to approve and send your fund to your nominated account on next week.
However, we are going to issue you invoice as soon as we recieve the money via western union tommorow for your peruse. And bank will write you also as soon as we submit the document in your favour for fund approval.
Thanking you for your patronage.
Yours faithfully,
BARRISTER. BERNARD LISA
(senior Partner).



Benson Briggs

Date 08-04-2006

Dear Eliza,
Thanks for your mail and update, You have seen why i want us to conclude this as soon as possible, Enemies are too many looking for ways to divert this fund After we have come to this final stage of this business. please endavour to pay attorney today so that he can take all the document to the bank for approval of the fund on monday to enable us get this money to your nominated account on tuesday.
I am on serious arrangement for comming over to your country and soon as you get this money into your account next week.
Please endavour to inform me as soon as you make the payment so that i will instruct you on what to do immediately.
I am be waiting online for your mail.
Regards
Benson



Eliza Dane

Benson,
I'm fucking MAD at Western Union! The post office was CLOSED! I couldn't get away to find another outlet. I'm really, really mad at them.
They're not open tomorrow - in any event, I have to work at Mum's plant nursery tomorrow (condition of my allowance) - so can't do anything pre-Monday.
I'm sorry about this.
Eliza



Benson Briggs

Date 08-04-2006

Dear Eliza,
Thanks for your mail just received, Kindly write to attorney now and tell him that you can not be able to pay today to due to some circumstances beyond you. Tell him that you will pay him on monday morning.
Please Eliza, pls try and pay attorney on monday morning so that he can proceed in taking those document to the bank for approval. i really want us to get this money into your account before tuesday or wednesday.
Once again thanks for your efforts towards concluding this business with me.
Regards
Benson



Eliza Dane

Dear Mr Lisa
, I was unable to send the money today as the only WU outlet within cooee was unexpectedly closed. I won't be able to do that tomorrow so the earliest I can send it is Monday.
Hope that's OK.
Regards,
Eliza Dane



'[S]ome one is accessing it'...? What a gift!

Benson Briggs

Date 10-04-2006

Dear Eliza,
How are you today? I hope you enjoyed your weekend, This morning I sent Mrs Ezema to attorney office to check if she will see him there, and ask him his arrangement towards sending all this document to the bank on monday for approval, She came back and told me that attorney said he is trying to change email address that some one is accessing it.
Mrs Ezema cleverly ask him for his new email so that she can inform you on time, He gave her this new email where all the futher correspondence will be , barr_lisachamber1@yahoo.com, it is no longer barr_lisachamber@yahoo.com and if you receive any mail from the old one, pls ignore it.
Please send the payment information to his new email to avoid mistake.
Endavour to inform me as soon as you pay the money so that i will instruct to immediately. i really want us to get this fund before wednesday.
Regards
Benson



Bernard Lisa

Date.. 09-04-2006

ATTN: Eliza Dane,
I wish to inform you that we have changed our email Address for security Reasons, I inform your friend Mrs Ezema that came to my office this morning for enquiry to alert you immediately, I have also inform all my client about this new development. I am very sorry for any inconvinence this may cause to you.
Henceforth, Our email is no longer barr_lisachamber@yahoo.com , it is now barr_lisachamber1@yahoo.com . All our correspondence will be in this new email till you receive the money into your nominated account.
Endavour to send the payment information tommorow to this new email box and it will reach this chamber quickly.
I will take your document to the bank for approval of the fund as soon as we recieve the payment via western tommorow morning.
Thanks for Understanding and patronage.
Yours faithfully,
BARRISTER. BERNARD LISA
(senior Partner).



Eliza Dane

Hi Benson,
It was a good weekend... very relaxing ; )
OK, gotta be serious - is this Barrister Lisa problem likely to be something personal, or could this Bello dude be trying another angle?
Here's a thought; maybe I should send the money to you rather than to him.
It's not as if Mr Lisa had done much to safeguard his email, the address is just about the same - any hacker could get his emails, learn the control number and test Q&A, and steal the money.
Let me know.
Eliza



Benson Briggs

Date 10-04-2006

Dear Eliza,
Thanks for your mail, Kindly pay to him and send the information to his new email box, i believe he must have secured himself by now, paying to me may bring suspicious in this transfer and i dont want him to know my involvement in this business.
Kindly pay immediately and send the information to him now to enable him go to the bank with those document, I really want us to conclude this business tommorow or next.
Please endavour to pay this morning and as soon as you pay the money to him inform me so that i will direct you on what to tell him.
I am online waiting for your mail.
Benson



Eliza Dane

Benson,
I only just got your message - the computers at the college aren't email-capable and the terminals at the college internet cafe were booked solid by foreign students - mostly Chinese.
I'll have to do it tomorrow lunchtime. I found that there's a Western Union outlet near the college - so no problems there.
Eliza



Benson Briggs

Date 10-04-2006

Dear Eliza,
I got your mail and not happy about all this delay, i told you that i want us to get this money to your acount before wednesday . Delay is very dengerous in this transaction.
As you can see that there is alot of obstacle behind this transfer and i want us to conclude as soon as before wednesday .I am making serious arrangement to come over as soon as the money reach your account.
Please endavour to pay tommorow so that attorney can quickly take those document to that bank for approval of the fund. or if possible pay today and inform me so that i will instruct you what to do.
Regards
Benson



Eliza Dane

Benson,
I am doing my best to make this work.
Don't you dare talk to me like that - I'm not responsible for the popularity of agricultural studies, for Odin's sake!
I'll be at the WU tomorrow. If you do your part, the rest should be a breeze.
Eliza



Benson Briggs

Date 10-04-2006

Dear Eliza,
Thanks for your mail, please you should not be angry with me, I am very sorry if my mail have offended but you should note that delay is dengerous. we should endavour to act fast and get this money immediately.
Kindly write to attorney now and tell him that you will pay tommorow so that he will not take assume that you are not serious in this transfer.
Thanks
Regards
Benson



Eliza Dane

Benson,
I'll do it, if only to shut you up. Honestly, you are going to send yourself to an early grave.
Eliza



Eliza Dane

Mr Lisa,
Thanx for the heads-up.
There have been some delays with the transfer but I intend to get it done tomorrow at about 1PM local time. I'm planning to use my own test question and answer, as follows:
Q: What is your favourite flower?
A: The wild rose.
Regards,
Eliza Dane



Seriously - I frightened him? I agree with Eliza!

Benson Briggs

Date 11-04-2006

Eliza,
How are you today? i felt bad after reading your last mail , Why did you said that I am sending myself to early grave? please explain
Note improtantly, If must conclude this business with me, please mind your word to me.
Have you heard from attorney? Endavour to pay him tommorow and inform me so that i will direct you on what to do next. I really want him to take those document to bank tommorowso that we will receive the fund in your nominated account in Australia
Regards
Benson



Eliza Dane

Dear Mr Lisa
, The money was sent a couple of hours ago - the number to quote is 7825692425.
You already have the test question and answer.
Regards,
Eliza Dane



He appreciates what Eliza did... poor mugu!

Bernard Lisa

Date.. 11-04-2006

ATTN: Eliza Dane,
We recieved your mail and the new text question and answer. I really appreciate,
Endavour to send it today as promised so that we can proceed in our arrangement of going to bank for approval of the fund to your account.
Note, Make sure you pay with the information we gave you ,
Name = Mr ODOH JUDE O
ADDRESS= UYO NIGERIA
Also try and send the MTCN along
Thanks for your patronage.
Yours faithfully,
BARRISTER. BERNARD LISA
(senior Partner).



Eliza Dane

Mr Lisa,
I've sent the info! Freya's mercy, check your inbox!
Regards,
Eliza Dane



Bernard Lisa

Date.. 11-04-2006

Attn - Eliza
We wish to inform you that we went to western union office here to pick the money so that we can proceed to the bank for approval but the cashier there told my junior lawyer that there is no number like 7825692425. in the system .
Kindly check and get back to me so that i send him back. if possible scan and send your payment receipt for evidence
You should hurry so that we can quickly to the bank for approval.
Thanks for your patronage.
Yours faithfully,
BARRISTER. BERNARD LISA
(senior Partner).



Eliza Dane

Benson,
Freya's mercy, did you think that was a threat or something? I was just telling you to stop worrying! I'll have to watch what I say, I had no idea you were such a wuss!
There might be something wrong with Mr Lisa's server; I only just got a reply to something I sent him yesterday.
I sent him the money details; it's just a matter of time now.
Eliza



Benson Briggs

Date 12-04-2006

Dear Eliza,
Sorry for my late reply, I went to our branch offices for some official assignment. I got your mail but not comprehend? what are saying there, have you paid to attorney? or what? Inform me as soon as you pay him so that i will direct you what to do next.
Honestly we should endavour to conclude soon because My visa to Australia will be out soon and the fund is still not yet ready in your account.
please pay to attorney immediately or if you cant afford $3,280 please tell me so that i will know how much you can afford and help send more money through Mrs Ezema. to enable us conclude soon.
Delay could be dengerous in this transaction.
Regards
Benson



Eliza Dane

Benson,
What's the big deal here? I sent Mr Lisa the money, and the details. I told you that. What's the bit that's confusing you?
I sent the whole amount (it came to just over $4300 and change). I don't need Mrs Ezema again, thanx for offering.
Is all that clear enough?
Eliza



Eliza Dane

Dear Mr Lisa
, I don't understand what's happening. Everything was in order when I made the transaction. I'll check as soon as possible.
I don't have a scanner - sorry.
Regards,
Eliza Dane



Benson Briggs

Date 12-04-2006

Dear Eliza,
please if you have paid kindly inform attorney to ackwnolegde the reciept immediately and send the payment reciept to you.
Also hurry him to send those document to the bank for approval of this fund. what is happening? update me what is going on betwen you and attorney
For goodness sake why all this delay? are u still willing to continue this business? please expidite urgent action. delay is dengerous.
Regards
Benson



Eliza Dane

Benson,
I just got this from Mr Lisa - "We wish to inform you that we went to western union office here to pick the money so that we can proceed to the bank for approval but the cashier there told my junior lawyer that there is no number like 7825692425. in the system" - and I have no idea what's going on. I'm going to call ASAP tomorrow.
Then there's "are u still willing to continue this business" - Holy Mother Frigga, I've just sent over $4000 to that greedy little shyster and you have the nerve to ask me if I want to continue? Get real!
Eliza



Benson Briggs

Date 13-04-2006

Dear Eliza,
You should try and settle with attorney and his chamber so he will proceed immediately or you stop wasting my time in this business.
Write me as soon as you settled with the chamber.
benson



The sweet, polite, friendly Eliza isn't doing the job. It's time to deploy the berserker variant, as befits an Odin-worshipper.

Eliza Dane

BENSON!
If you were here right now I'd knock your stupid fucking grin clear into the harbour, you whingeing little turd!
I SENT THE MONEY, BUT BERNARD LISA IS CLAIMING HE CAN'T GET IT! I don't know what the dumbass is trying to pull, but I did as he said!
You'll find out once I've settled with him. Now stop being such a dropkick and let me find out what the fuck is going on. Your angst I do NOT need.
Eliza



Bernard Lisa

Date.. 13-04-2006

Attn - Eliza
We wish to inform you that this chamber may not attend to you after monday and dont ever blame this chamber for not getting your fund from the Bank.
Your documents is still here with us in the office.
We wait for your urgent mail.
Yours faithfully,
BARRISTER. BERNARD LISA
(senior Partner).



Eliza Dane

Mr Lisa,
Would you mind explaining WHY Western Union called me today and refunded my money under provision 6848? Would you spell out WHY Western Union has you on a banned list?
Eliza Dane



Eliza Dane

Benson,
I can't settle with the attorney - Western Union wouldn't let me.
Bernard Lisa said: We wish to inform you that this chamber may not attend to you after monday and dont ever blame this chamber for not getting your fund from the Bank.
Your documents is still here with us in the office.
Now what?
Eliza



Benson Briggs

Date 14-04-2006

Dear Eliza,
I got your mail, please you should endavour to settle with attorney before monday, I dont want to loose this Fund after i have invested all this money. please if you are intrested again or willing to conclude with me
kindly send me superceeding power of attorney so that i can proceed with another serious person,Afterall iam forcing you to be part of this business, you are working for the betterment of you and your family.
I wait for you mail or signoff letter so that i can proceed with a serious person.
Benson



Eliza Dane

Benson,
You're not making much sense.
Scratch that - you're not making any sense. Is English your first language? I assumed but was, but it's looking less and less that way now. "please if you are intrested again or willing to conclude with me" - huh? What the fuck are you saying? "Afterall iam forcing you to be part of this business" - aren't you telling me the exact opposite?
I can't send any money to Bernard Lisa because Western Union won't do it, under something called provision 6848. Even if I could find some other way, no can do, things are closed for Easter. Shit of a thing to happen, but not my fault. Do I LOOK like Pontius Pilate?
It ain't over till I say it's over, Benson. I've been putting quality time in finding a home you and the missus and the sprogs, I was ready to put in 4000 bucks to fund this - don't ever say I'm not serious!
Eliza



Eliza Dane

Benson,
Now will you admit that not sending the money to you was a bad idea?
I can't send anything before Tuesday because of Easter. Send me your details and I'll send the money to you. Mrs Ekzema can take it there again.
Answer me soon, willya? I want to get this done too!
Eliza



The Lad tries to use a little moral blackmail to recover the script. Illness, sleeplessness... just you wait, Benson Briggs, just you wait!

Benson Briggs

Date 17-04-2006

Dear Elisa
,
Infact,You have betrayed the great trust i have in you. I will not be happy with you if Barrister Bernard lisa refuse to help in this business because of this your delay.You want to deliberately waste my efforts and financial investment on this project for not paying your own part to the chamber since to enable them submit the document for approval.
if you really want to work with me for conclusion of this business , Kindly send the money to him as he instructed via western union and get back to me so that i will tell you what to do immediately. I am presently feeling terribly bad because I have put in so much time and money in bring this business to the present finishing point and would not want any disappointment.I cannot sleep because of this long delay. We have done a wonderful job bringing this business to the present finishing point, pls don,t mess it up.
Kindly send that money to him and get back to me
Benson



Eliza went quiet... but Berserker Eliza returns with a vengeance.

Eliza Dane

BENSON!
Are you listening to a fucking word I've been saying, you moron? I CAN'T SEND MONEY TO HIM VIA WESTERN UNION BECAUSE WESTERN UNION WON'T LET ME! Merciful Freya, soothe my nerves! What is your fucking problem, Benson?
Thor's beard, you just will not listen. I am trying to get the money to you, I'm suggesting ways to do it, and all you can do is sit there intoning, "Send the money by Western Union. Send the money by Western Union. Send the money by Western Union...." over and over again. AAGH! It's like talking to a machine! There's $5.4 million at stake here for me, and all you can do is rant on about how I've betrayed your trust. I sent you all the details you wanted. I tried to send the money. Exactly how am I supposed to have betrayed your trust? Why the fuck would I want to?
I'll say it again; send me YOUR details and I'll send the money to YOU. Then YOU can give the money to Mrs Ekzema and she can deliver it. She's done it before, what's the hassle?
Eliza



The Lad tries to sway things back on script with a little psychology.

Benson Briggs

Date 17-04-2006

Eliza,
I hope you are not trying to be stupid because i brought business to you, How could you call me moron? and stupid ulterances, it is you that is moron. Infact, I have begining to suspect you, I am not sure the safety of my share when it get to your account.
Please Kindly write to attorney now and tell him that you are no longer intrested in that transaction and please Hand off totally in this business.
Try and send superceeding power of attorney to me immediately so that i can proceed with serious person,
Bye
Benson



... Not that it was ever going to work...

Eliza Dane

Benson,
The only stupidity is yours. I am trying to get the money to you so you can arrange payment but for reasons that defy explanation you won't agree.
Is there any explanation you can give for why I can't send the money to you? Why must it go to Bernard Lisa, when I've given you one good rock solid cast iron reason why I can't send it to him via Western Union?
If I told Bernard Lisa that I wasn't interested, I'd be lying. I am not going to just meekly let go. Why the fuck do you want that daft power of attorney rather than US$3280 to pay Bernard Lisa? IT MAKES NO SENSE AT ALL!
I want an explanation - THAT MAKES SENSE, mind you - about why you won't accept my solution.
Eliza Dane



Eliza Dane

Dear Mr Lisa
, I am trying to get the money to you but for some reason Mrs Ezema is balking at making another cash delivery (I am trying to get the money to her via WU, but she hasn't agreed to it yet). Please don't give up on this deal.
I will contact you when (if) Mrs Ezema responds.
Regards,
Eliza Dane



Present 'Benson' with a fait accompli, see if he bends.

Eliza Dane

Benson,
I just told Bernard Lisa that I'm going to try to send more money via Mrs Ezema.
Now will you send me the details I need to send you the money via Western Union so that you can get Mrs Ezema to drop off the cash?
Please don't spit the dummy again.
Eliza



And he does.

Benson Briggs

Date 18-04-2006

Eliza,
I got your mail and it is well noted, Remmember what i told you before that i dont want attorney to know my involvement in this transaction, Moreover you are not paying to me , We all are paying to attorney for the legal document and charges for the release of the fund.
But if you insist to pay through Mrs Ezema, You can send the money to my Secretary Here Via Western union, so that i can give Mrs Ezema to pay attorney on your behalf.
Name= Abdulaziz .L. Obi
Enugu Nigeria
Test Question= How are you?
Test= Answer
Remmember to send the MTCN and all your payment informations.
Endavour to pay today so that i will instruct Mrs Ezema to go and pay on your behalf immediately. I really want us to conclude this week and have the fund in your account.
Benson



Eliza Dane

Benson,
Why did you fight this for so long?
You have to admit - if there's no way to send the money to Bernard Lisa, then this is the best way. Anyway - I should be able to do this tomorrow.
Once I've made the payment, I'll send you the details - if possible I'll scan the form at college and send it to you.
Eliza



Bernard Lisa

Date.. 18-04-2006

Attn - Eliza
We wish to inform you that we recieved your mail and We are waiting for Mrs Ezema for the partial payment. she should endavour to pay soon because we have other clients waiting for our attention too.
Thanks for your patronage.
Yours faithfully,
BARRISTER. BERNARD LISA
(senior Partner).



Eliza Dane

Dear Mr Lisa
, If all goes well the payment should be made on Thursday - Mrs Ezema has agreed to bring you the money as soon as she can.
Regards,
Eliza Dane



Benson Briggs

Date 18-04-2006

Eliza,
I will be waiting for your mail , endavour to pay tommorow so that, i will send Mrs Ezema tommorow to pay on your behalf.
I will also instruct you what to do immediately.
Regards
Benson



Eliza Dane

Benson,
You really love giving orders, don't you?
I have some late afternoon classes at college tomorrow, and it's probable I won't get to use the library terminals at lunchtime, so I won't be able to send the confirmation before the evening over here.
I hope Mrs Ezema doesn't mind running errands for her Australian friend... : )
Eliza



Benson Briggs

Date 19-04-2006

Dear Eliza,
Thanks for your mail, please i dont like giving orders but it is because of the urgency of this transaction now. I really want us to conclude as soon as possible, and have this fund in your nominated account.
I want to come over to australia for my share and investment plans.
I will be waiting for the payment tommorow.
Benson



I sent him a dll file renamed WU form.jpeg. Looks like a JPEG, but can't be previewed or opened...

Eliza Dane

Benson,
Here's the payment form, it has all the info you need.
Eliza



Benson Briggs

Date 19-04-2006

Eliza,
I got your mail but did not see anything in the attarchment, kindly check and send it again. send the pay payment information and attarch the form.
I am waiting for your mail.
Benson



Eliza Dane

Benson,
There's nothing wrong with the JPEG - maybe your computer is having problems. Try rebooting. Usually works for me.
Eliza



I quickly redrafted a letter found on 419Eater.

[Scam-o-note: only the scam-o-gram has been re-used, as Lad letters are as grains of sand on the beach. We would not re-post anything original from someone else's site without permission (and probably not at all in any case).]

Eliza Dane

Benson,
You want to explain what the fuck THIS is all about?
Eliza


FROM:THE DIRECTOR
ECONOMIC AND FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION(EFCC)
Head Office
Plot 1017 & 1018 Coree Bay Crescent,
Adetokunbo Ademola Crescent
Wuse II,Abuja.
Tel: +234-1-471-3279.
EMAIL CONTACT:efcc2000@btinternet.com
Date: 18/04/2006

ATTENTION: MADAM,
It has come to the knowledge of this commission that some scam artists from Nigeria, one BENSON BRIGGS and one BERNARD LISA has been contacting you for a business transaction requesting you to assist them by acting as the next of kin to a late deceased, please be informed that it is all lie and scam.
This commission (ECONOMIC AND FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION) has been set up by the Federal Government of Nigeria to combat scam artists who through one way or the other tarnishing the image of this country through fraudulent act. Our Major function is to compensate all foreigner's who one way or the other has been retrieve from there hard earn money through illegal transactions.
The present administration of the Nigeria government is ready to combat scam artists in Nigeria in order to regain the lost glory of our great country and show the entire world that we are ready to fight corruption in Nigeria.
We wish to inform you that we are ready to work with you to ensure that these scam artists are track down and prosecute to jail. Please be informed that we wish to seek for your services and we want to let you know that your service rendered to this commission, you will be compensated with the sum of US$100,000.00 in a cashier check cashable at any bank in your country or referable by telegraphic transfer into your nominated bank account but this has to be done when we receive proofs from you.
Forward to this commission the previous mails you have received from them including their email contacts and telephone numbers so that we can able to trace and prevent them from causing more damages to this nation. Peradventure you have been a victim in this cause, kindly inform us as we are ready to refund your funds back to you.
Thanks for your understanding and we are deeply sorry for the inconveniences this has caused you all this while. Call this office on telephone number 234-1-471-3279, for oral and important discussion or you can contact us via the above email contact.
We apologies on behalf of the President and the good citizens of Nigeria for any delay and lost this most have coursed you and promise that such thing will not happen again. And if you are dealing with any one of them we urge you to STOP because you are taking a big risk.
YOUR CO-OPERATION WOULD BE HIGHLY APPRECIATED IN THESE REGARDS.
BEST REGARDS,
MRS.GLORIA UDOH
SECRETARY
FOR: ECONOMIC AND FINANCIAL CRIME COMMISSION (EFCC).



Benson Briggs

Date 20-04-2006

Eliza,
I got your mail but i have tried many times to open your attarched but to no avail, kindly send the information and so that we can go and pick the money and send to attorney immediately.
Secondly, I have told you time without number that , There is alot of people working towards diverting this business, which is main reason why i want us to conclude as soon as possible.
For security of this business, Dont send your information or my information to them to avoid us loosing this successfull laid down plan. Dont give them your number or call them till we have this money into your nominated account.

Kindly send the payment information immediately. I am waiting for your urgent mail.
Benson



Eliza Dane

Benson,
We may have a compatibility problem here - what operating system does your computer use? Mine has Windows XP. Perhaps that's the issue. Try to find a computer with that program running. That should work.
Your security, or Bernard Lisa's, sucks big-time. It's the only way they could have got onto us. Don't worry, I'm not telling anyone anything.
Eliza



Eliza Dane

Dear Mr Lisa
, Has Mrs Ezema delivered the money to you yet? I sent funds to her late last week. Please let me know when the payment is made.
Regards,
Eliza Dane



Eliza Dane

Benson,
I assume everything worked out.
For the love of Odin, tell me what to do next. I'm sick of waiting for confirmation.
Eliza



Bernard Lisa

Date.. 25-04-2006

Attn - Eliza
We wish to inform you that we have not recieved any payment form Mrs Ezema, you document is here with us and you should not take this chamber for granted.
Thanks
Yours faithfully,
BARRISTER. BERNARD LISA
(senior Partner).



Eliza Dane

Mr Lisa,
Don't take that tone with me! I have never taken you or your firm for granted. I've arranged for $8,000 to be paid over to you, so don't get shitty with me!
I'll try to clear this up.
Eliza Dane



Again with that damned power of attorney!

Benson Briggs

Date 25-04-2006

Dear Eliza,
Thanks for your mail, i have been making arrangement of getting another reliable person hat i will serious in this business. I am happy for your effort so far. I will compensate you as soon we get the fund.
Kindly send to us superceeding power of attorney to enable me proceed with my new partner. I am waiting for it.
Bye
Benson



Eliza Dane

Benson,
What the fuck is going on? I sent the fucking money, there is no way you are going to brush me off! I have done everything you wanted, I have paid over the money, and you have the fucking nerve to say in effect, "I don't want you any more, I have another person in mind, don't worry, I'll toss you a few crumbs when I'm done".
THIS IS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN, BENSON! WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE WITH MY MONEY, YOU LYING LITTLE SHIT? I am over $4000 down, the money was collected from Western Union, and you are the ONLY person I told the details to.
Stop lying to me! I am sick to death of your stupid excuses and pathetic deceptions. Either pay the money to Bernard Lisa or give it back to me at once.
Eliza



Benson Briggs

Date 29-04-2006

Dear Eliza,
How are you today? Kindly send the superceeding power of attorney so that i can proceed with a serious person. You know i have spent alot of money to bring this business at this stage and you want it to waste just like that?
please help me and my family and send the letter to enable make some changing in your name to my new partner name, i have promise to compensate you with atlease 5% of the fund when we conclude for your efforts so far.
I am waiting for the letter.
Benson



Eliza Dane

Benson,
Oh, Holy Odin, I'm serious.
I'm serious about wanting my money back. I'm serious about not giving you any fucking letters or legal bullshit until you return what you stole.
Eliza



He said never mention him to the lawyer... but that was before he betrayed Eliza!

Eliza Dane

Barrister Lisa:
I sent the money you requested but it has been stolen. I believe the person who took it was Benson Briggs of United Bank for Africa.
Do what you must, but get him to hand over the money.
Eliza Dane



Bernard Lisa

Date 01-05-2006

Attn - Eliza
We wish to inform you that we are very happy for the informations you gave us and we are on serious investigation on what you told us about one Mr Benson Briggs of United Bank For Africa. We will get back to you as soon as we are through with that.
However, we wish to know if you still need our help in this your transaction atleast we can help you better now.
We are waiting for your urgent Reply
Thanks
Yours faithfully,
BARRISTER. BERNARD LISA
(senior Partner).



Eliza Dane

Dear Mr Lisa
, If that asshole Briggs is arrested, please let me know. I'd love to see his mugshot or something like that.
Otherwise, just let me know if he comes clean and coughs up. Then we can get this matter finalised.
Regards,
Eliza Dane



All of a sudden I received a copy of the original come-on email... but he must have realised what he'd done. Before I could answer...

Benson Briggs

Date 03-05-2006

Dear Eliza,
I am very sorry, I cannot do this business again with you, My secretary happened to mail you outside my wish, You have cause alot of damages in my family.
Please Stay clear in this proposal.
I am looking for reliable and honest person that will help me get the money out.
Bye
Benson



Oh well, all that's left is the kiss-off.

Eliza Dane

You just made my day, you mugu moron! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
BTW, they lied to you about sucking and swallowing improving your IQ - all those blowjobs you did, and they clearly didn't help you at all...



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