WILL THAT BE DORKS OR DOLLARS?

updated sept 7

--> Dr Andy Jones tries the Dead { Bank Customer/Contractor } maneuver on the staff of the Foreign Office. The Dead Contractor in question is only the fourth imaginary person in our records who has died in an earthquake.

Starring:
DR. ANDY JONES - scammer du jour
KELVIN CROMWELL (cargo delivery guy)

versus

Foreign Office Staff (in order of appearance or mention):
CHARLES FARNES-BARNES (Lady Agatha Bristol's financial advisor)
MANFRED NEWMAN (Charles's assistant)
JEMIMA CAVENDISH (Charles's assistant, another)
SHERMAN OAKS (of Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank)
ENID SCLAROMA (Sherman's assistant)
SIR HUGH JANUS (next in line of succession to Prince Albert Inacan)
THE THANE OF CAWDOR (Charles's bank client, a major Scottish player)
LADY AGATHA BRISTOL, CBE (head of the Foreign Office)

DR. ANDY JONES

From: andy jones andyjones002002@yahoo.com

Subject: URGENT BUSINESS PROPOSAL.
Date: Sat, 7 Aug 2004 04:02:03 -0700 (PDT)

PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL
Federal Ministry of Finance Foreign Operations Dept
Suite 5b, Old Federal Secretariats Ikoyi Lagos.

Dear Charles Farnes-Barnes,

I am DR. ANDY JONES. working with department of Foreign Operations, Federal Ministry of Finance. I got your contact through an associate who works with the Nigerian Institute of International Affairs (NIIA). This transaction requires mutual understanding, transparency and absolute trust to be executed.One Mr. Pakir Kubani from India executed a contract with the Federal Ministry of Aviation here in Nigeria, the contract worth is TWENTY MILLION United States Dollar (US$20.000,000.00), but on the process of transferring the money to him, he died with his family in an earthquake disaster that occured in India. Meanwhile this fund is presently in the Central Bank Vault. Nobody knows what is going on execept two of my colleagues and I; this is the information of the contract executed by Mr. PakirKubani. Contract Number: FMA/GHD/ZXA/2002 Contract Sum: US$20,000,000.00 Therefore, you will stand as the Trustee for the Original Contractor. I will send to you the whole relevant documents that are required in this transaction immediately you accept to co-operate with me. Send to me your (1) Private Telephone and Fax Numbers (2) The name of company you wish to use. (3) Your banking details to enable us start the deal immediately, we have decided to give you 20% of the fund for your involvement, 10% will be for expenses, then 70% will be for us. This deal is 100% risk free and needs maturity from all the parties involved.

I will be going for my retirement very soon. So I need this money to invest in viable projects in yourcountry or its environs.You shall arrange for us to meet with you immediately after we transferred the money to you.I am waiting for your urgent response.

Best regards.

Dr. ANDY JONES.
PHONE: 234-8034701174.


CHARLES FARNES-BARNES

Dear Mr Jones,

I am rather surprised that you obtained by private personal ex-mail address. Perhaps it was given to you by one of the bank's West African directors. Could this have been Dr Ivor Babayaro ?

As you obviously are aware, I am the senior vice president of the Royal Bank of Dorsetshire with special responsibility for foreign affairs. Your proposal may be of interest although I would require fuller details than those you furnish in your e-mail.

Has a full search been made for any relatives of the late Mr Kubani ? Have all the ramifactions of the Nigerian Exchange Control [Commonwealth] Act of 1954 been taken into account ? If not, I have the specialist knowledge to by-pass any difficulties afforded by this measure which - although passed by the British Government before Nigerian independence - is still in force.

And most important of all is the matter of trust because what you propose is shall we say on the perimeters of total legality.You talk to me of PROOF and TRUST, and GUARANTEES, and a GENUINE proposition. Of course, I have to TRUST you but as we have yet to meet, how can I be assured that you are telling me the whole truth about this business ?

With best wishes,
Charles Farnes-Barnes


DR. ANDY JONES

Subject: FIND ATTACHED PICTURE.
Date: Tue, 10 Aug 2004 03:30:13 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Mr. Charles,

Kindly find attached, my picture and my wife, the reason why Iím sending you this is so that you can know whom you are dealing with.

Please I will like if you would get back to me with yours including those requirements to enable us proceed without any delay.

I wait to hear from you.

Regards,

Mr. Andy Jones.

[a picture of a well-dressed middle-aged African-looking man and woman, happy, probably some famous family clipped from a magazine]


CHARLES FARNES-BARNES

Aug 10

Dear Mr Jones,

What a charming photograph.

Unfortunately I have been summoned to a meeting in Scotland with two of my most important clients, His Excellency the Thane of Cawdor and Lady Agatha Bristol. I will return tomorrow and will reply to you as soon as I get back to my office.

Yours sincerely,

Charles Farnes-Barnes


DR. ANDY JONES

Subject: BE BLESSED
Date: Tue, 10 Aug 2004 04:02:34 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Charles,

Thanks for replying me immediately. I will wait to hear from you by tomorrow. Regards,

Andy Jones.


DR. ANDY JONES

Subject: your urgent response is needed.
Dear Mr. Charles Farnes,
I received your mail with many thanks. My promise to you is that you are not going to have your self-regret for your involvement in this transaction.

This transaction is a deal which has no risk at all, no body know about this funds except two of my colleagues and I. Every necessary documents concerning this transaction will be made and changed in your name as the original beneficiary of there funds which will be forwarded to the appropriate department for approvals in your favor before transfer could be made into your nominated bank account.

All the proof documents will be sent to you via email or fax. Now, you have to forward me your private phone/fax numbers for easy communication and more clarification because I will like us to discuss some certain things on phone. I will send to you my passport picture so that you can know whom you are dealing with.

Since all the documents will bear your name, you are advised to send to me without delay your full address, a copy of your drivers license or international passport and banking details where these funds would transfer into to enable us apply for the releasing of the funds in your name without any delay.

This business is 100% risk free which needs absolutely secret and confidential because of its nature. My knowing you is like a divine connection and I know my God can never deceive me.

I look at this deal as a divine favor to both parties so let act quickly as possible as we can. I pray God will help us to see the success of this transaction.

Feel free and reach me any time on my cell phone and ask any question on the area you may not understand regards to this transaction. My cellphone number.
234-8034701174.

Waiting to hear from you immediately.

Regards,
Mr. Andy Jones


CHARLES FARNES-BARNES

Dear Mr Jones,

I am in receipt of your e-mail. Alas, these matters cannot be rushed but any business between us could be arranged far more speedily if you would answer the queries in my previous e-mail to you.

These were as follows:

1. How did you obtain my private personal ex-mail address? Was it given to you by my dear old friend Dr Ivor Babayaro, one of the bank's West African directors who is now on leave in South America and will not be able to be contacted by e-mail until October ? I have no objection to my friend giving the address to you but if it were not Dr Babayaro I really need to know who else has this e-mail address. Could it have been Lady Agatha Bristol of the British Council or His Excellency the Thane of Cawdor who recently headed a British team of financiers at a bankers' meeting in Lagos ?

2. I would require fuller details than those you furnish in your e-mail. Yes, you sent me a very nice photograph of yourself and your wife but this does not furnish any proof of your honesty or of the existence of this fund.

3. Has a full search been made for any relatives of the late Mr Kubani ? Have all the ramifactions of the Nigerian Exchange Control [Commonwealth] Act of 1954 been taken into account ? If not, I have the specialist knowledge to by-pass any difficulties afforded by this measure which - although passed by the British Government before Nigerian independence - is still in force.

You must appreciate that I cannot authorise any expenditure until you answer these questions. If you can do this, I shall fly to Nigeria myself - the sooner the better although the end of August or the first week of September would be best for me - and pay any redemption fees necessary in cash as the transaction will be of only quasi-legality. The best currencies to use would be Canadian dollars or Slovenian silver dorks [the choice can be yours].

Charles Farnes-Barnes
Royal Bank of Dorsetshire


DR. ANDY JONES

Subject: URGENT
Date: Thu, 12 Aug 2004 05:31:39 -0700 (PDT)

DEAR FRIEND,CHARLES BARNES,
MANY THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL IN WHICH YOU INSISTED TO KNOW THE THINGS YOU OUTLINED.
ACTUALLY I GOT YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS DURING MY SEARCH FOR A VERY RELIABLE AND CAPABLE HAND WHO CAN HANDLE THIS MULTI MILLION DOLLAR DEAL WITH ME. LUCKILY,I MET MY FRIEND,THOUGH I DID NOT DISCLOSE THE REAL DEAL WITH HIM BUT HE LATER GOT YOUR INFORMATION THROUGH THE INTERNET WHICH HE PASSED TO ME,HEMCE I CONTACTED YOU. YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT I HAVE GOOD REGARD FOR YOU AND I WANT YOU TO BENEFIT FROM IT ALSO.

WHEN THIS INCIDENT OCCURED,I RECALLED THAT THERE IS A RECORD OF SUCH DEPOSIT BY LATE MR.PAKIR KUBANI IN THE CENTRAL BANK.I IMMEDIATELY CONFIRMED THIS FACT WITH MY TWO OTHER COLLEAGUES WHO ARE OFFICIALS OF CENTRAL BANK AND WE DECIDED TO STRIKE A DEAL AND CONCEALED EVERYTHING WITHIN OUR SELVES.IF WE DON'T DO IT,OTHER OFFICIALS OF THE BANK CAN TRANSFER THE FUNDS OUT BEFORE US.THEREFORE,THE FAMILY OF KUBANI DON'T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT OR BE NOTIFIED ABOUT IT.RATHER,AFTER THE SUCCESSFUL CONCLUSSION OF THE DEAL,WE CAN DONATE A REASONABLE AMOUNT TO THE OHPANAGE HOMES. WE DON'T NEED TO DELAY THIS MATTER FOR SO LONG. AS I AM TALKING TO YOU NOW, WE HAVE CONCLUDED AN INTERNAL ARRANGEMENT TO MOVE THE FUNDS AS CASH CONSIGNMENT TO EUROPE.IT WILL LEAVE THIS NIGHT BUT WILL BE DEPOSITED IN A SECURITY FIRM IN AMSTERDAM PENDING WHEN I CONFIRM YOUR REDINESS TO ACCEPT IT IN YOUR COUNTRY.THE AUGUST OR SEPTEMBER,TIME IS TOO LONG. IT WILL BE VERY RISKY.DELAY IS DANGEROUS FOR A DEAL OF THIS NATURE.
IF YOU ARE WILLING TO COPERATE WITH US,WE CAN GIVE YOU A LETTER OF AUTHORITY TO ENABLE YOU CLAIM THE CASH FROM THE SECURITY FIRM IN HOLLAND.IF YOU ALSO WANT IT FLOWN TO YOU IN YOUR COUNTRY, WE CAN ARRANGE IT.AFTER CONFIRMING THAT YOU HAVE RECEIVED THE CONSIGNMENT IN YOUR CUSTODY,WE CAN FLY DOWN TO MEET YOU FOR COLLECTION OF OUR SHARE AND CARRY OUT OUR INVESTMENT PLANS.
PLEASE LET ME KNOW URGENTLY YOUR POSITION NOW TO ENABLE US CONTINUE.
YOU CAN REACH ME ON MY HOT LINE: 234-1-7759607.
THANKS AND GOD BLESS YOU.
REGARDS,
MR.ANDY JONES.

HEY HO! I'LL LET HIM STEW FOR A DAY OR SO BEFORE REPLYING!


DR. ANDY JONES

Subject: CONFIRM.
Date: Fri, 13 Aug 2004 01:12:13 -0700 (PDT)

DEAR CHARLES,
DID YOU RECEIVED MY MAIL OF YESTERDAY? PLEASE CONFIRM.

REGARDS,

MR. ANDY JONES


MANFRED NEWMAN

Aug 13

Dear Mr Jones,

I am one of Charles Farnes-Barnes personal assistants.

Mr Farnes-Barnes will be out of the office till Monday 16 August. I cannot access his e-mail messages which are stored on his private computer. Therefore in case he did not receive your e-mail of 12 August, I suggest you re-send it to make sure it reaches him on his return.

Yours faithfully,

Manfred Newman

Ho, ho ho


CHARLES FARNES-BARNES

Dear Mr Jones,

After careful consideration I have decided to proceed with this proposed transaction because I managed to e-mail my friend Dr Babayaro and although he cannot remember you 100% he advises me that he recalls a Mr Andy Jones who worked for an Anglo-Nigerian merchant bank some years ago. If this is indeed your good self then I have no further qualms about going ahead.

However, I regret that I have been unable to contact you through your telephone. I am sure that I am trying the correct number and the result is most disappointing. I either cannot get through or I connect poorly and the rest is silence. Please have it checked as soon as possible. If you need to speak to me, you can do so on my personal private telephone number - which you must treat as strictly confidential and not to be given out to any third party - which is 0870 160 8080.

Nevertheless I don't see why we should not finish this business through e-mail. Just let me know when you need me to fly to Holland and we can take matters on to a speedy conclusion.

Yours sincerely,

Charles Farnes-Barnes


DR. ANDY JONES

Subject: God bless you.
Date: Mon, 16 Aug 2004 12:35:52 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Charles,

I thank you very much for your mail. All the arrangement has been concluded for the movement of the >consignment to a security firm in Amsterdam, Holland. For your easy claims without any delay. The consignment will be moving to Holland by tomorrow evening and arrives Holland by Wednesday morning in Holland. Remember that the total amount in that box is $20m and only I and my colleagues know what is in the consignment even the diplomatic company that will be >moving the consignment by tomorrow are not aware the real content of the box because it is tagged and declared as a personal effect.

All the necessary documents will be prepare in your favor as the beneficiary of the consignment which will be forwarded to the security firm while the copy of the document will be also sent to you to enable you >have your trip to Holland for your immediate claims.

Please since all the documents will bears your name as the owner of the consignment, kindly send to me first thing in the morning your address for the preparation of the documents in your name since you have given me your full name and phone number.

The only thing they will ask you to present during your claim of the consignment in Holland is (1) your ID CARD (2) AIRWAY BILL OF THE CONSIGNMENT WHICH I WILL SEND TO YOU AS SOON AS THE CONSIGNMENT LEFT >NIGERIA BECAUSE THE COPY WILL BE WITH THEM TO AVOID WRONG DELIVERY. YOU CAN REACH ME ON MY CELL PHONE: 2348034701174 ONLY ANY TIME YOU LIKE. YES WE ALSO NEED TO BE COMMUNICATION THROUGH PHONE WHEN THERE IS URGENT SOMETHING TO DO. I WILL CALL YOU TODAY OR TOMORROW. ALWAYS REMEMBER THE CONFIDENTIALITY OF THIS TRANSACTION.

I WAIT TO RECEIVE THE INFORMATION FROM YOU IMMEDIATELY. REGARDS, MR. ANDY JONES.


CHARLES FARNES-BARNES

Dear Mr Jones,

Very well - simply let me know when the box reaches Amsterdam. Here are my banking details:

a/c: farnes-barnes, charles d'arcy bowden
number: 30938393
The Royal Bank of Dorsetshire, 69 Kezman Street, Boscombe HA8 FU2

You have my personal private telephone number which I will not put down again for security reasons.

However, you have still not offered any documentary proof of the existence of this box and I am not going to spend hundreds of pounds of the bank's money to fly toHollandwithout hard evidence that this fund really exists. Nevertheless, having said that, I will make an offer to you which, if you agree to the terms, will convince me to come toHollandto meet with you or your representative.

That you agree to send a token amount of cash to my favourite charity. This is the Lady Mourinho Home for Waifs & Strays, 4 Osgood Avenue, London WC1A 5BF. Just one US dollar [or the equivalent note in Nigerian currency] will suffice. If you send this very small sum to the Home this will show me exactly how much mutual TRUST and CONFIDENCE exists between us - and how certain you are that this deal will go through without any problems.

If you accept my offer then you have my promise that I will come toHolland andif needed, help you financially to complete this deal.

As an experienced and wealthy banker, I do of course realise that the transfer of such large amounts of money will probably require some kind of processing fees. If you send the single US dollar then I am willing to fund this transfer to the maximum amount of £5,000 (five thousand pounds sterling or the equivalent in Slovenian silver dorks) on the condition that I can deduct this amount from the fees after the fund has been transferred into my account.

I trust you will agree that this is fair. After all, even taking postage into account, I am asking you to make an outlay of less than one pound sterling for a reward thousands of times greater.

Remain blessed, as my dear friend Dr Babayaro ends his letters to me. Are you sure you have not met him - perhaps at financial meetings or conferences in Lagos...

Sincerely,

Charles Farnes-Barnes


DR. ANDY JONES

Subject: urgent
Date: Tue, 17 Aug 2004 03:58:30 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Charles
I received your mail and the contents are well noted. I will send to you the certificate of deposit for this consignment as the proof that the consignment is deposited with the Global security and finance firm here in Nigeria together with the airway bill certificate as soon as the consignment left Nigeria to their sister company in Amsterdam, Holland for your easy claim.

The consignment is now with this company and it was not deposited as money but as a consignment. This company is not aware that the box contains money; you are advised to keep it secret because we do not want them to know the real content of the box for security reasons.

I did not meet any body called babayaro and I donít think I know him. As I have earlier informed you, this is a deal, which has no risk, but it needs absolute secret and confidential from both side to enable us achieve our aim.

As soon as you visit the company and claim the consignment, you can then transfer these funds to any account of your choice and then send me some money to enable arrange for my visa to meet with you over there for my own share.

I will like to have a joint venture with you and other profitable business in your country. By telling to send you this and that, that means you are trying to delay everything, lets trust our self this a deal and I believe God will help us to make it. I know how I have spent before the transaction reach this stage but I am not worried because I know that I must achieve it.

Should I use this address and do the needful: 4 Osgood Avenue, London WC1A 5BF.

I hope you have to be there by next week Monday.

Regards,
Andy Jones.


DR. ANDY JONES

Subject: regards.
Date: Tue, 17 Aug 2004 08:00:12 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Charles,
Thank you once again. Be noted that the consignment is leaving tonight for Amsterdam, Holland. And will arrive by tomorrow morning.
I have tried to contact you through the phone number you provided but all effort proves abortive. Please could you reconfirm or crosscheck the number since it the only way the security firm will like reach you upon the arrival of your consignment.
The required documents will be sent to you by tomorrow morning to enable you have your trip to Holland for your easy claims.
Regards,
Andy Jones.


CHARLES FARNES-BARNES

Dear Mr Jones,

I am sorry if you had difficult contacting me on the telephone. I have received your e-mail and am ready to go to Amstredam. No-one need contact me on the telephone - an e-mail to will suffice.

Can I take it that you have sent one US dollar [or its Nigerian equivalent to the Lady Mourinho Home charity ? If you tell me that this tiny token of goodwill has been sent I will make immediate arrangments for cash to be taken with me. You have also yet to inform me which currency you prefer - pounds sterling or Slovenian silver dorks.

Otherwise everything is in place for a speedy transaction.

Yours truly,

Charles Farnes-Barnes

A little explanation for your North American readers. My address "Osgood Street" refers to Peter Osgood a very famous soccer player in the early 1970s [a Joe Nemeth figure] and the Lady Mourinho home refers to Jose Mourinho, manager of Chelsea soccer team, the most cosmopolitan and flamboyant side in Britain.


DR. ANDY JONES

Subject: URGENT.
Date: Wed, 18 Aug 2004 01:54:47 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Charles,
Thank you very much for your mail. I am happy to inform you that the consignment is now in Holland. I am busy now in the office, I will scan the required documents and send you the later in today, I will go the diplomatic office and bring the airway bill as soon as Iím less busy and send it together with the deposit certificate.
There are some charges you need to in Holland as the clearing fee and other charges which I never know the exact amount until I bring the airway bill because all their charges must be written in the airway bill of the consignment.
I will like if you will visit the company by tomorrow or Friday this week for your immediate claims. You have nothing to worry in this transaction because all the arrangement has been concluded, the consignment will be released to you immediately you pay the charges.
You can also contact the director in charged of your consignment and ask him that you want to confirm if your consignment has arrived in their company. Bellow is the security company info.
NAME OF THE COMPANY: GLOBAL SECURITY AND FINANCE INC
AMSTERDAM-HOLLAND
PHONE: 31-629-230-590
FAX: +31-206-006-898
CONTACT: KEVIN CROMWELL. (THE DIRECTOR)

I WILL BE WAITING TO HEAR GOOD NEWS FROM YOU.
REGARDS,
MR ANDY JONES.
NOTE THE CONSIGNMENT IS ONLY ONE BOX. DO NOT DISCLOSE THE REAL CONTENT OF THE BOX TO THEM.

No need to rush...


CHARLES FARNES-BARNES

Dear Mr Jones,

This is very good news indeed. Unfortunately I have to fly to Los Angeles later today and won't be back until Saturday 21 August. So I can't be in Amsterdam until next Monday 23 August. I usually stay at the Hotel Krasnapolsky in Amsterdam - would you like to meet me there ? The Bank will pay all your hotel and other expenses excluding your flight from Nigeria.

If you need to contact me before 21 August you can do so at this same e-mail address and any message will be forwaded to me.

Yours sincerely,

Charles Farnes-Barnes


KELVIN CROMWELL

From: globalsf22@netscape.net
Subject: RE: CONFIRMATION ON THE ARRIVAL OF YOUR ONE TRUNK BOX TODAY.
Date: Wed, 18 Aug 2004 05:06:50 -0400

From: The Office of the Director
Classified Cargo Delivery Department
Global Security and Finance Inc.
Amsterdam The Netherlands.
Te:+31-629-230-590. Fax:+31-20-600-6898.

ATTN: CHARLES FARNES BARNES

RE: CONFIRMATION ON THE ARRIVAL OF YOUR ONE TRUNK BOX TODAY.

Dear sir,

We refer to the above subject and hereby confirm that we have received in our custody "ONE TRUNK BOX" Which arrival this morning from our home office from Nigeria and they said to be having family valuables and personal effects as contents for further deliveries in your favor. This item arrived our department here in The Netherlands under high level diplomatic classifications with directives from (OUR HOME OFFICE) to effect immediate deliveries to the order of (CHARLES FARNES BARNES) here in our Eurozone delivery office in The Netherlands.
As the beneficiary/recipient to this highly classified item, you are requested to come forward to our office in The Netherlands with your valid identification and other vital documents relating to the deposited consignments as a proof of ownership for collection. These vital documents includes; (1) Your International Passport or Driver's license (For Identification), (2)The Certificate of Deposit of the classified consignment,(3) Airway bill. While in our office you will be required to make a cash payment of Ten Thousand, Eight Hundred Euros only (EUR 10, 800.00), representing our Administrative Service charges.This amount is to be paid in cash to our accounts department upon your arrival with a payment receipt issued to you before deliveries is instantly effected.With this development you are therefore requested to update us with your possible arrival date as this will enable our protocol department include your appointment in our duty schedule. This is very important please. For any enquirers do not hesitate to contact us through the phone and fax lines given above for further clarifications. Awaiting your prompt response as we remain always at your service. TREAT AS URGENT PLEASE!

Yours Faithfully,

Kelvin Cromwell
(Director of Operations)
For: G.S.F.I Eurozone Headquarters.

our lad is very excited - this came through only twenty minutes after he received my e-mail saying I can't get to Amsterdam before next Monday!


DR. ANDY JONES

Subject: THANKS.
Date: Wed, 18 Aug 2004 02:30:34 -0700 (PDT)

DEAR CHARLES,
THANK YOU VERY MUCH FOR YOUR IMMEDIATE REPLY.NOW, I WILL BE MUCH GLAD IF YOU CAN CONTACT THE COMPANY AND CONFIRM THAT THE CONSIGNMENT HAS ARRIVED AND BOOK THE DAY WITH THEM WHEN YOU SHALL VISIT THE COMPANY FOR THE CLAIMS BEFORE TRAVELING.

PLEASE MAKE THAT IT WILL NOT BE MORE THAN MONDAY OR TUESDAY NEXT WEEK.

I CAN NOT BE WITH YOU PRESENTLY BECAUSE OF MY WORK, MY PLAN IS TO FLY OVER THERE AS SOON AS YOU TRANSFER THE FUNDS INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.

PLEAS KEEP EVERYTHING SECRET

UNTILL WE CONCLUDE THE DEAL FOR SECURITY REASONS. I WILL LIKE TO HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN TODAY THAT YOU HAVE CONTACTED THEM.
ANDY JONES.

don't get your hopes up too much, andy!


JEMIMA CAVENDISH

Dear Mr Jones,

I'm afraid that Mr Farnes-Barnes is now out of the office until further notice. However, he has seen your e-mail and has asked me to send you the following message as he has no further time to deal with this matter until he flies to Amsterdam on Monday 23 August:

1. You should tell the security company that Mr Farnes-Barnes is willing to pay the 800 euros but he needs to know which currency he can use. It is not possible to pay this amount in euros but it can be paid in pounds sterling or Slovenian silver dorks.

2. Mr Farnes-Barnes also needs to know whether you have sent the one US dollar [or the Nigerian currency equivalent] to the Lady Mourinho Charitable Organisation. He is happy to take your personal word that you have done this small thing for him as evidence of your good faith.

3. Either Mr Farnes-Barnes or myself will e-mail you later this week to advise you of the time of his arrival in Amsterdam and in which hotel he will be staying.

4. In October Mr Farnes-Barnes will be in Nigeria to attend the Sixth Annual Conference of the Meshugganah International Group of Merchant Bankers of which the Royal Bank of Dorsetshire is a member. This will be his first visit to Nigeria for some years and he would be grateful if you could recommend a first class hotel in Lagos.

5. Mr Farnes-Barnes sends his kindest personal regards to you.

Yours truly,

Jemima Cavendish
Senior Assistant to Mr Charles Farnes-Barnes


DR. ANDY JONES

Subject: CONTACT THEM IMMEDIATELY AND GET BACK TO ME.
Date: Wed, 18 Aug 2004 09:51:43 -0700 (PDT)

DEAR CHARLES,
I RECEIVED YOUR MAIL AND THE CONTENTS ARE WELL NOTED. PLEASE COULD YOU CONTACT THE GLOBAL SECURITY FIRM IN AMSTERDAM AND ASK THEM IF YOU ARE TO PAY IN EURO OR ANY OTHER CURENCY.

THERE ARE ALOT OF GOOD HOTEL IN LAGOS LIKE AIRPORT HOTEL, GOVERNORS HOTEL AND ALL THE REST OF THEM.

I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY YOU INSISTED THAT I SHOULD SEND $1 TO THIS LADY, IS IT THROUGH TRANSFER OR WHAT? PLEASE LET US CONCENTRATE AND STOP ANY THING THAT WILL DELAY THIS TRANSACTION BECAUSE WE HAVE NOT TIME TO DELAY AND YOU KNOW THAT ANY DELAY IN THE DEAL MAY BE DANGEROUS.

I WANT TO HEAR FROM YOU THAT YOU HAVE CONTACTED THEM.
REGARDS,
ANDY JONES.

a worried lad, methinks....


JEMIMA CAVENDISH

18 Aug 2004

Dear Mr Jones,

I managed to speak to Mr Farnes-Barnes and read to him the contents of your latest e-mail whilst he was at London Airport waiting to fly to America.

He asked me to mention these points to you.

1. He has already informed you that he has no time to contact the security company - you may do so on his behalf. I will inform you tomorrow or Friday which hotel Mr Farnes-Barnes will be staying in Amsterdam on Monday morning. If his usual suite is available he will be at the Krasnapolsky but I will confirm this as soon as possible.

2. He has twice asked you to mail by ordinary air mail a very small sum to the Lady Mourinho Home to show your total commitment to this transaction. As he has been unable to reach you by telephone he will accept your word of honour that you have or will mail the tiny sum of one US dollar or an equivalent note in Nigerian currency to his favourite charity.

3. He still wishes to know in which currency these fees can be paid - pounds sterling or Slovenian silver dorks. He has twice asked you to inform him which currency is preferred.

If there are any further queries please contact me but I doubt if Mr Farnes-Barnes can be contacted until the weekend. In America he can be contacted on his secure private line 609 409 3628 [I'm afraid I don't know the international code from Nigeria].

Yours sincerely,

Jemima Cavendish


DR. ANDY JONES

Date: Thu, 19 Aug 2004 01:45:19 -0700 (PDT)

DEAR CHARLES,

THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL. I WILL SEND THE MONEY TO THAT LADY AFTER THE SUCCESSFUL TRANSACTION BECAUSE FOR NOW, I HAVE NO CHANCE FOR THAT.

I HAVE COLLECTED THE AIRWAY BILL FROM THE SECURITY COMPANY, THE TOTAL AMOUNT YOU ARE REQUIRED TO PAY DURING YOUR CLAIMS IS 10,800 EURO, THAT IS THE AMOUNT WRITTEN ON THE AIRWAY BILL DOCUMENT, THAT MEANS YOU HAVE TO PAY IN EURO.

I CAN NOT SEND TO YOU THE DOCUMENTS FOR NOW SINCE YOU ARE NOT ON SIT BECAUSE THIS IS A CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS.

AS SOON AS YOU CONFIRM TO ME BY THIS WEEK THAT YOU ARE BACK, I WILL THEN FORWAD TO YOU THE SAID DOCUMENTS TO ENABLE YOU VISIT THE COMPANY BY MONDAY FOR YOUR EASY CLAIMS.

I WILL CALL YOU TODAY WITH THE AMERICAN NO. PROVIDED. REGARDS,
MR ANDY JONES.

But there is a surprise in store for andy pandy - watch this space!


JEMIMA CAVENDISH

19 Aug 2004

Dear Mr Jones,

Thank you for your e-mail which I have forwarded to Mr Farnes-Barnes.

As I informed you the other day, Mr Farnes-Barnes is currently in Los Angeles and will probably fly directly to Amsterdam on Monday arriving at the Hotel Krasnapolsky in the late afternoon. I will also be flying to Amsterdam to meet Mr Farnes-Barnes to discuss other urgent matters apart from this transaction.

You may send all necessary documents to this e-mail address and I will bring with me in cash Slovenian silver dorks to the value of 10,780 euros [Mr Farnes-Barnes is deducting 20 euros which will be sent to the Lady Mourinho Home]. The dorks can be exchanged for euros at our branch at 8,Shmocklestraat.

Yours sincerely,

Jemima Cavendish [Senior Personal Assistant to Charles Franes-Barnes]


DR. ANDY JONES

Subject: FIND ATTACHED DOCUMENTS.
Date: Fri, 20 Aug 2004 02:24:56 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Mr. Charles,

Kindly find attached documents, the deposit certificate and airway bill.

Make sure you maintain absolute confidential in this deal till we conclude it.

I will wait to confirm from you that you have received it.

Regards

Andy Jones

[ a few standard Lad excursions into Photoshop ]

Our lad is in for a little spin on the merry-go-round.


JEMIMA CAVENDISH

20 Aug 2004

Dear Mr Jones,

Thank you for your e-mail and attached documents.

Sadly, I must inform you that Mr Farnes-Barnes was injured in a street robbery last night in Los Angeles. Therefore he will be unable to make his scheduled meeting in Amsterdam with your representative as planned.

Thankfully he is expected to make a full recovery but he will remain in hospital until Tuesday.

Furthermore, Mr Farnes-Barnes has sworn an affadavit that gives an Enduring Power of Attorney on his behalf to his colleague Mr Sherman Oaks who will fly to Amsterdam on Sunday night.

Mr Farnes-Barnes has asked me to stress that Mr Oaks can be trusted 100% as regards confidentiality which is of paramount importance to both sides with regard to the proposed business.

For your information, Mr Oaks is the Chief Executive of our American sister company the Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank of Los Angeles, New York and Buonos Aires. He will contact you directly and Mr Farnes-Barnes says that there should be no further delay in bringing the transaction to a successful conclusion.

Yours sincerely,

Jemima Cavendish, Senior Personal Assistant to Mr Charles Farnes-Barnes

PS Should you wish to send a "get well" message to Mr Farnes-Barnes, you can do so via this e-mail or through Sir Marmite Loony-Binns, the British Consul in Los Angeles. His e-mail address is sirmarmite@hotmail.com.


SHERMAN OAKS

20 Aug 2004

Hello Mr Jones,

You should have received an e-mail from the Royal Bank of Dorsetshire in London about my dear old buddy Charles Farnes-Barnes who was the victim of a street robbery last night. Poor Charles lost his wallet containing $2,000 dollars and was thrown to the ground by his cowardly attackers. He suffered quite severe bruising to his back and was slightly concussed. He is insured against the loss of cash but will remain in hospital for a couple of days as a precaution.

Anyhow, as his assistant Miss Jemima Cavendish has informed you, Charles has given me Enduring Power of Attorney over his affairs so that I can conclude the business with you on his behalf.

Now to be frank, although Charles is the nicest guy you could ever want to meet, like all Britishers he is a bit of a fusspot. What's all this crazy business about the Nigerian Exchange Control Act of 1953, sending a dollar to the Lady Mourinho Home and wanting to transact these affairs in Slovenian silver dorks.

Andy, we Yanks have no time for all this faffing around. Using my Enduring Power of Attorney I have withdrawn twelve thousand euros from the escrow account of the Royal Bank of Dorsetshire and will bring this cash with me to Amsterdam.

I will arrive in Amsterdam around noon on Monday. I am staying at the Grand Hotel Krasnapolsky, Dam Square 9, 1012JS Amsterdam and you can phone me there on [0]205549111 or [best] contact me by fax on [0]206228607. Or of course you can contact me at this e-mail address because of course I shall have my laptop computer with me.

Interestingly enough, this superb five star hotel first saw light of day in 1866 when a Polish tailor opened up a small guest house. Perhaps you might think about opening up a hotel in Lagos which I understand is short of five star hotels for top businessmen, tourists and diplomats with your share of the proceedings.

Fill me in on any further details which I need to know - otherwise I look forward to hearing from your guys in Holland on Monday afternoon. Give me a couple of hours to reciver from my flight so they should call after four o'clock. I understand you are coming over later in the week and it will be my pleasure to take you to a private club in Amsterdam which features some most interesting entertainment.

Best wishes,

Sherman


DR. ANDY JONES

(To Charles)

Subject: I'M SORRY.
Date: Sat, 21 Aug 2004 03:09:52 -0700 (PDT)

DEAR MY BROTHER,
I RECEIVED A MAIL FROM ONE MR Sherman Oaks THAT YOU HAVE INSTRUCTED HIM TO FLY TO AMSTERDAM TO CLAIM THE CONSIGNMENT ON YOUR BEHALF BECAUSE OF THE PROBLEM YOU HAD YESTERDAY IN THE HAND OF AMERICAN ROBBERS.
PLEASE I AM VERY SORRY FOR INCIDENT AND STILL THANK GOD THAT YOU ARE ALIVE. I WISH YOU SPEEDY RECOVERY IN JESUS NAME AMEN.
I BELIEVED YOU TOLD HIM THE SECRET AND CONFIDDENTIALITY NEEDED IN THIS TRANSACTION BECAUSE IT WILL NOT BE GOOD AFTER SUFFERING ANOTHER PERSON RUN AWAY WITH OUR MONEY.
I HAVE WRITTEN TO HIM THIS MORNING INSTRUCTING HIM TO CALL THE DIRECTOR OF THE SECURITY FIRM SO THAT THEY WILL BE AWARE THE TIME HE WILL BE ARRIVING IN AMSTERDAM, HOLLAND BY MONDAY.
I HOPE TO HEAR GOOD NEWS FROM YOU THAT THE CONSIGNMENT IS WITH YOU IN LONDON BEFORE TRANSFERING IT TO YOUR ACCOUNT. PLEASE MAKE SURE YOU DON'T TRANSFERING ALL THE MONEY IN ONE ACCOUNT FOR SECURITY REASONS.
REGARDS,
ANDY JONES.


CHARLES FARNES-BARNES

21 Aug 2004

Dear Andy,

Thank you for your good wishes which are much appreciated. I am feeling much better and the X rays on my skull showed only bruising so I am now out of hospital. However, I am going to take a couple of days holiday to recover from my ordeal.

As my assistant Ms Jemima Cavendish has told you, Mr Sherman Oaks can be trusted to keep this business confidential. I must apologise for the delay which of course was caused by unforeseen circumstances but I am sure we will all get what we deserve from this unfortunately protracted business.

Charles


DR. ANDY JONES

To: Sherman Oaks
CC: Charles
Subject: CALL HIM IMMEDIATELY.
Date: Sat, 21 Aug 2004 02:56:07 -0700 (PDT)

ATTEN. MR Sherman Oaks,

I RECEIVED YOUR MAIL AND THE CONTENTS ARE QUITE UNDERSTOOD. I FEEL VERY SAD WHEN I READ FROM YOU THIS MORNING THAT MY FRIEND MR CHARLES WAS ATTACKED BY ROBBERS AND SUSTAINED BRUISES AND INJURY.

SINCE HE HAS GIVEN YOU A POWER OF ATTORNEY TO ACT ON HIS BEHALF, THERE FOR I BELIEVE THAT HE TOLD YOU THE CONFIDENTIALITY OF THIS TRANSACTION WHICH YOU SHOULD MAITAIN ON HIS BEHALF.

NOW, BE ADVISED TO CONTACT THE SECURITY FIRM IMMEDIATELY AND LET THEM KNOW THE TIME YOU WILL ARRIVES IN AMSTERDAM, HOLLAND FOR YOUR IMMEDIATE CLAIMS.

YOU CAN CONTACT THE DIRECTOR IN CHARGED ON HIS PHONE. BELLOW IS THEIR INFORMATION:
NAME OF THE COMPANY: GLOBAL SECURITY AND FINANCE INC.
AMSTERDAM-HOLLAND.
PHONE: 31-629-230-590 FAX: +31-206-006-898
CONTACT: KEVIN CROMWELL. (THE DIRECTOR)
DO NOT HESITATE TO CONTACT HIM IMMEDIATELY AND GET BACK TO ME FOR MORE ADIVICE.
REGARDS,
MR ANDY JONES.


SHERMAN OAKS

21 Aug 2004

Dear Andy,

I've just seen Charles' letter to you [as you might have noticed he sent me a copy].

Have no fear, no-one will know of our transaction except Charles, yourself and me!

Incidentally, I tried calling the security company but the telephone appears to be out of order. I've no time now to call again because I have to meet someone in New York later today before flying on to Amsterdam on Monday morning.

Not to worry, though, all the guy at the security company has to do is to call me at the Grand Hotel Krasnapolsky say between five and half past five on Monday afternoon. I sent you the telephone number although of course as the security company is based in Amsterdam they will have it themselves.

In fact, to speed things up, why don't you inform Mr Campbell or one of his colleagues simply to meet me at the Krasnapolsky at 5.30pm. I'm in Room 666 - the hotel receptionist will call me and I'll meet them downstairs. ANd don't worry, I have the euros in my briefcase!

All the best,

Sherman


DR. ANDY JONES

Subject: Advice him.
Date: Sun, 22 Aug 2004 08:30:47 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Charles Farnes-Barnes,

I recived your mail and i thank God for you recovery. kindly adive your friend to call the security immediately he arrives Amsterdam to enable them come over to the hotel and pick him to the security company because it is not advisable to inform the security company to call the hotel konwing when he has arrive or not.

I will be waiting to hear from you that you have advice him on that issue because he is your friend and i fell you are there to let him know what he has to do in this transaction.

Regards,

Andy jones.

what's the worry, andy ?


DR. ANDY JONES

To: Sherman Oaks
CC: Charles
Date: Sun, 22 Aug 2004 08:31:50 -0700 (PDT)

Dear Mr. Sherman Oaks,

Thanks for your mail. As can understand, you are the one who suppose to call them with the same number i sent to you and let them know that you have arrive so that they can come to the hotel and pick to the security firm.

I feel that will bve better than telling them to call you while you hold their numbers.

Regards, Andy Jones.

Now I'm afraid that Sherman can't oblige - he is even now on his way to Amsterdam. Someone will have to call him if you want the 10,800 euros "fee" to open the box. Sherman has told you this, Andy, but you's have to hear it again from his assistant....


ENID SCLAROMA

22 Aug 2004

Hi there Andy,

I am Enid Sclaroma, Sherman Oaks' deputy manager at Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank in Los Angeles.

As I believe Sherman has already informed you, he is at present in New York and will travel to Amsterdam tomorrow arriving at around noon.

I spoke to him briefly this afternoon and to be frank he is rather annoyed to be asked to make any further arrangements. He told me to remind you that his has given the telephone number and fax of the Grand Hotel Krasnapolsky to you [although the security people in Amsterdam can easily find out these numbers for themselves]. It isn't even necessary to contact him again because the arrangement is that your associates should meet him at the hotel at any time after five o'clock in the afternoon.

If however they want to change this arrangement they can call him there or leave a message for him.

Best regards,

Enid


DR. ANDY JONES

To: Sherman Oaks

DEAR,
THANK FOR YOUR MAIL. I HAVE INFORMED THEM TO CALL BY 5-530PM TO KNOW IF YOU HAVE ARRIVE BECAUSE THEY HAVE TO COME TO THE HOTEL AND PICK YOU TO THE SECURITY FIRM IMMEDIATELY.

I WILL BE WAITING TO HEAR GOOD NEWS FROM YOU.
REGARDS,
ANDY.

WELL AT LEAST WE WILL HAVE COST THE LAD A TELEPHONE CALL - AT BEST LONG DISTANCE FROM LAGOS AT WORSET A LOCAL ONE FROM AMSTERDAM. LET'S SEE IF WE CAN PROLONG THE DENOUMENT JUST A WEE WHILE LONGER - LIVE LONG AND PROSPER, CHARLES F-B


ENID SCLAROMA

23 Aug 2004

Dear Andy,

Sherman called me from New York this morning just before boarding his flight to Amsterdam to say that he is concerned that the computer system at the company for which we work, Kreplach Brothers International Merchant Bank, may have been successfully breached by criminal hackers.

It is 99% certain that they have NOT obtained any information about his transaction with you. However, to ensure the total confidentiality about this business, his original booking at the Grand Hotel Krasnapolsky has been cancelled and has been rebooked by Dr Hugh Janus, one of our Dutch associates based in The Hague.

Therefore when your associates telephone or come to the hotel between 5pm and 5.30 pm this afternoon, they should ask NOT for Sherman Oaks but for Hugh Janus. I now have his room number which is 101.

I have also just spoken on the telephone to Charles Farnes-Barnes who sends his regards and hopes to see you in person when he visits Lagod in October. He also suggusts that if a similar opportunity arises you should contact one of Charles' important private clients, His Excellency the Thane of Cawdor, one of Scotland's largest landowners who urgently needs extra funds to restore the west wing of his home, Dunsinane Castle and make good the damage to the nearby woodland that was recently been badly damaged by a minor hurricane [a most unusual occurence in Britain]. His e-mail address [which Charles asks you to keep confidential] is xxxxxxx. Charles adds that letters to The Thane should be addressed not to "Dear Thane of Cawdor" but to "Your Excellency".

Yours sincerely,

Enid


CHARLES FARNES-BARNES

(To The Thane of Cawdor)

Your Excellency,

With the aid of my trusty American colleague Mr Sherman Oaks of the Kreplach Brothers International Merchant Bank of Los Angeles I believe I have successfuly kept Mr Andy Jones on an expected high - until he or his Dutch pals call for Hugh Janus at the Grand Hotel Krasnapolsky this afternoon.

However I have taken the liberty of passing your name - as one of the bank's most trustworthy clients - to Mr Jones as someone who is eager to obtain $20 million for a relatively token up-front investment. It will be interesting if he contacts you after he discovers that neither Sherman Oaks nor Hugh Janus are booked into the Hotel Krasnapolsky. If he sends an anguished e-mail to me I shall register surprise - too early to tell him he has been taken for a ride.

If you are too busy swatting other flies, perhaps you would inform dear Lady Agatha at the Foreign Office. She doesn't seem to have anyone to write to just at this moment.

Your obedient servant

Charles Farnes-Barnes, senior treasurer the Royal Bank of Dorsetshire


AGATHA BRISTOL

Cc: Thane of Cawdor
Date: 23 Aug 2004, 06:13:02 AM
Subject: Re: Andy Jones 23 08 04

My dear Charles,

Thank you for your note.

Whilst a ruffian by the name of Dr. Williams has contacted the Foreign Office, we remain at your disposal.

See you at Annie's Bar later.

Yours ever,

Lady Agatha Bristol, CBE
Head of Special Operations, Foreign Office, London


DR. ANDY JONES

To: Charles Farnes-Barnes
CC: Sherman Oaks
Subject: URGENT.
Date: Mon, 23 Aug 2004 10:02:08 -0700 (PDT)

My brother,
In fact I am tired on what is going on. Why can't you instruct your guy to call those security people to let them know that he has arrived than waiting for them to call him?

You people should not be doing as if we have business with them. As you can understand, this is a deal and they are not aware of what we are doing and I don't think they can have the chance to call unless you call them because they believe that the consignment is belongs to you and they cannot force you to come and claim the consignment.

You people should work according to my instruction if not we are doing nothing because I believe that those people cannot call him unless you are not serious in it. I don't know the reason why you and your partners are finding it difficult to contact the company.

This is not Childs business unless you are not serious because I have never see any strong seriousness in all the mails I’m receiving from you,

I wait to hear from you.

Andy.


CHARLES FARNES-BARNES

To: andyjones002002@yahoo.com
Date: 24 Aug 2004, 01:26:05 AM

My Dear Friend,

What is the problem ? Didn't your people meet Sherman Oaks yesterday in Amsterdam ? Remember that I am still in Los Angeles although I plan to fly home this afternoon.

However,as far as I know, everything went according to plan. I'll try and get hold of Sherman to find out what's going on and contact you as soon as possible.


SHERMAN OAKS

To: andyjones002002@yahoo.com
Date: 24 Aug 2004, 01:36:55 AM

Hi Andy,

What the heck is going on here ? You grumble about who should phone who and all that nonsense whilst I have travelled all the way from the USA to meet your guys in Amsterdam - but they haven't shown up at the hotel although we agreed a meet between five and half five yesterday afternoon!

So don't you give me grief about all this - I'm the one who has a right to be angry.

Now I have booked a flight to Heathrow at six o'clock tonight as I'm going to stay for a couple of days in London with Charles Farnes-Barnes and we can decide where to invest these thousands of euros that I brought with me from Los Angeles . So if the security people don't contact me by four o'clock today the deal is off. Simple as that.

Sherman


DR. ANDY JONES

To: Charles Farnes-Barnes
Date: Tue, 24 Aug 2004 04:39:21 -0700 (PDT)

my brother,
in fact, i don't think your guy went to amsterdam because if he do i don't see the reason why he refused to call the holland people.

i have contacted them to call him and they refused if he is interested to claim his consignment, he should call they but if not he should forget about his consignment till when he is ready immaging.

call them.
andy.

OH DEAR - WHAT CAN THE MATTER BE......


CHARLES FARNES-BARNES

To: andyjones002002@yahoo.com, Sherman Oaks
Date: 24 Aug 2004, 04:51:00 AM

Dear Andy,

I have just spoken to Mr Sherman Oaks in Amsterdam [and you will note that I am sending him a copy of this e-mail to him] and I must tell you that he is very angry. He says he informed you that there was no need for anyone to make any phone calls - it was agreed that your representatives from the security company would meet him at the Grand Hotel Krasnapolsky yesterday afternoon between five and five thirty. He even arranged to check in under the pseudonym of "Dr Hugh Janus" to ensure total confidentiality with regard to ths transaction.

I will be back in London tomorrow evening - meanwhile I suggest that you or the security people call Mr Oaks at the hotel before he leaves [as he has told you he leaves for London later today].

Finally, I must tell you that Sherman Oaks has been a trusted business colleague for many years and frankly I am at a loss to understand why our business did not take place yesterday.

Yours sincerely,

Charles Farnes-Barnes


DR. ANDY JONES

To: Charles Farnes-Barnes

my brother,
in fact i don't know what to do because the security people refused to call him unless he call they if not he can forget about his consignment. what do think about this?
andy.

LOOKS LIKE THE BEGINNING OF THE END......


CHARLES FARNES-BARNES

24 Aug 2004

Dear Andy,

I am writing this at Los Angeles airport but I'll be back at my desk tomorrow [Wednesday] at about 11 0'clock in the morning.

I understand your frustration - which I share - but Mr Sherman Oaks is a stubborn character and rightly or wrongly he believes that the security people should contact him - after all, they are about to collect 10,800 Euros from him in fees!

As I think you already know, Mr Oaks is coming to London this evening and if the situation remains the same I will tell him to return to Amsterdam on Thursday morning and call the security firm. He won't take too much persuading as I know he has a very enjoyable personal relationship with a beautiful Dutch girl who works for the Amsterdam Tourist Office.

So let's remain hopeful and we'll be in touch tomorrow afternoon.

Yours sincerely,

Charles


DR. ANDY JONES

Subject: URGENT REPLY.
Date: Wed, 25 Aug 2004 02:09:44 -0700 (PDT)

MY BROTHER,
I GOT YOUR MAIL AND THE CONTENTS ARE WELL NOTED. I THINK SINCE THE FIRST ARRANGEMENT DID NOT WORK OUT, DON’T THINK THAT IT WILL BE BETTER TO MOVE THE CONSIGNMENT TO YOUR COUNTRY LONDON THROUGH A DIPLOMATIC MEANS WHERE THE DIPLOMATS WILL BRING THE CONSIGNMENT FOR YOUR EASY CLAIMS THAN TRAVELING TO ANY COUNTRY FOR THIS CLAIMS?

I YOU AGREE, I WILL APPLY FOR THAT SO THAT THEIR AGENT CAN HAVE THEIR TRIP TO LONDON WITH THE CONSIGNMENT FOR YOUR CLAIMS, I THINK THIS WILL BE BETTER AND LESS EXPENSES BECAUSE AFTER CLEARING THE CONSIGNMENT FROM HOLLAND, I BELIEVE IT WILL BE ANOTHER RISK TAKING IT BACK TO LONDON SINCE WE DON’T HAVE ENOUGH DOCUMENTS COVERING THE CONSIGNMENT AGAINST CUSTOMS.

PLEASE WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THIS NEW ARRANGEMENT?
PLEASE LET ME KNOW SO THAT WE CAN PROCEED.

ANDY.


CHARLES FARNES-BARNES

My Dear Friend,

Thank you for your letter.

I still can't understand what went wrong in Amsterdam - Mr Sherman Oaks has always proved himself to be most reliable in the past. Between ourselves, I wonder whether he spent too much time with his girl friend in the hotel and was so busy in l'arte de faire l'amour that he couldn't be bothered to make the phone call to the security company.

However, his loss can still be our gain. I quite agree that it would be simpler to move the transaction through London especially as I can call on the services of my sister, Lady Agatha Bristol of the British Foreign Office to smooth out any problems.

Yours sincerely,

Charles


DR. ANDY JONES

Subject: UR PHONE NUMBERS.
Date: Thu, 26 Aug 2004 01:42:09 -0700 (PDT)

DEAR CHARLES,
THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN. I AM HAPPY TO INFORM YOU THAT ALL THE ARRANGEMENT HAS BEEN CONCLUDED YESTERDAY WITH THE DIPLOMATS WHO WILL BE COMING TO LONDON BY TOMORROW EVENING WITH THE CONSIGNMENT AND ARRIVES IN LONDON BY SATURDAY MORNING IN LONDON.

NOW, YOU HAVE TO BE SERIOUSE BECAUSE I WILL NOT BE HAPPY AFTER SPEND MY MONEY AND WILL NOT SEE THE SUCESS OF WHAT I HAVE BEEN FIGHTING.

REMEMBER THE CONFIDENTIALITY OF THIS TRANSACTION, THE DIPLOMATS ARE NOT AWARE THE REAL CONTENT OF THE BOX BECAUSE IT WAS DEPOSITED WITH COMPANY AS PERSONAL EFFET SO KEEP IT CONFIDENTIAL.

NOTE, THE DOCUMENTS NEEDED TO CLAIM THE CONSIGNMENT FROM THE DIPLOMATS ARE THE SAME DOCUMENTS I SENT TO YOU.

S SOON AS THE DIPLOMATS ARRIVES LONDON, THEY WILL CALL YOU THROUGH YOUR PRIVATE PHONE NUMBER THAT YOU MAY PROVIDE FOR ME IN YOUR REPLY BECAUSE YOU HAVE NEVER GIVEN ME ANY GOOD NUMBER.

I WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU THIS MORNING SO THAT I CAN PASS TO THEM YOUR PHONE NUMBERS.
REGARDS,
ANDY.

My, my - the indefatigable Andy doesn't give up easily does he - well, let's keep him waiting a little longer. A reply from Manfred Newman follows shortly....


MANFRED NEWMAN

Dear Mr Jones,

This to acknowledge reciept of your e-mail to Charles Farnes-Barnes.

As I believe you know, Mr Farnes-Barnes was injured last weekend in a street robbery in Los Angeles and Dr Harold Shipman, our company physician, has ordered him to rest at home today.

However, he will be back in the office on Monday morning when a copy of your e-mail will be on his desk.

Yours sincerely,

Manfred Newman, Special Projects Manager, the Royal Bank of Dorsetshire.


DR. ANDY JONES

Subject: regards,
Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2004

my brother,

Have you heard from the diplomats? please let me know because they left day before ysterday for amsterdam.
andy.


MANFRED NEWMAN

Dear Mr Jones,

Mr Farnes-Barnes will be out of the office until Thursday evening but he has asked me to keep a watching brief over this forthcoming transaction. Unfortunately we have yet to hear from the diplomats in Amsterdam.

Yours sincerely,

Manfred Newman [Senior Assistant to Charles Farnes-Barnes]


DR. ANDY JONES

Subject: Re: Telephone
Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2004 11:20:06 -0700 (PDT)

thanks. they suppose to contact you in london because they left amsterdam with the consignment day before yesterday and i am worried because i don't know the reason why they have not contacte you people.

anyway, i will be waiting to hear from you as soon as >you people hear from them. andy.

Very strange - andy Pandy's English has slipped from grammatically perfect to pidgin. Pourquoi, mon brave ? Perhaps another scammer has taken over the name "Dr Andy Jones"

Now there's a surprise....


DR. ANDY JONES

Date: Fri, 3 Sep 2004 07:49:06 -0700 (PDT)

DEAR CHARLES,

THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN. I GOT A MESSAGE FROM THE DIPLOMATS THAT THEY HAVE BEEN TRYING TO REACH YOU THROUGH THE PHONE NUMNER YOU PROVIDED BUT ALL EFFORT PROVES ABORTIVES.

THEY SAID THAT YOUR PHONE WAS WRINGING [sic] BUT NO ANSWER. AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS MAIL, KINDLY CALL THEM WITH THIS NUMBER: DR. VICTOR GOZIE PHONE: 447979224821.

MAKE SURE YOU CALL THEM IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE ANY DELAY IN CLEARING THIS CONSIGNMENT FROM THE DIPLOMATS MAY LEAD TO SEND THE CONSIGNMENT BACK TO NIGERIA AS UNCLAIMED GOODS. THEY HAVE ONLY FEW DAYS TO STAY IN LONDON BECAUSE THEY ARE MOVING TO OTHER PLACES FOR THEIR DELIVERY.

I WILL BE WAITING TO HEAR GOOD NEWS FROM YOU THAT YOU HAVE SETTLE WITH THEM. REGARDS,

MR ANDY JONE


CHARLES FARNES-BARNES

My Dear Andy,

I cannot understand why the diplomats have been unable to contact me. My telephone has been working perfectly for the last few days.

Are you sure they can be trusted with a large sum of cash ?

Anyhow, it seems to me that it would be easier to conclude the transaction in Nigeria. You say the box will be coming back home and as you may recall, in her e-mail of 18 August my assistant Ms Jemima Cavendish informed you that I shall be in Lagos to attend the Sixth Annual Conference of the Meshugganah International Group of Merchant Bankers of which the Royal Bank of Dorsetshire is a member.

I shall be staying at Le Meridien Eko Hotel on Adetokunbo Ademola Street. Would you be free for lunch on Monday October 4th ? If so, meet me at 12.45 at the hotel reception desk and we can complete our business. I will have the 10,800 euros processing fee to pass on to you. Or perhaps you would prefer pounds sterling or Slovenian silver dorks ?

Let me know,

All best wishes,
Charles


DR. ANDY JONES

DEAR CHARLES,

I GOT A MAIL FROM ONE OF YOUR COLLEAGUES WHO TOLD ME THAT YOU WILL NOT BE IN THE OFFICE TILL MONDAY BECAUSE OF YOU ILLNESS. I WANT INFORM YOU THE DEVELOPMENT IN THIS TRANSACTION, THE DIPLOMATS WILL BE COMING TO LONDON BY MONDAY WITH >THE CONSIGNMENT FOR YOUR IMMEDIATE CLAIMS.

I BELIEVE YOU WILL NOT MESS UP THIS TIME AROUND WITH YOUR COLLEAGUES BECAUSE I WILL NOT ANY EXCUSE AFTER SPENDING MY MONEY TO MAKE SURE THE CONSIGNMENT REACH YOUR COUNTRY AND YOU TELL ME ANOTHER STORY.

THEY SAID THAT THEIR CHARGES AS THEIR DELIVERY FEE IS 10,000 POUNDS, THAT IS THE AMOUNT YOU WILL GIVE THEM AND COLLECT THE BOX FROM THEM. > >YOU WILL CLAIM THE CONSIGNING WITH THE SAME DOCUMENTS I SENT TO YOU WITH YOUR ID CARD TO IDENTIFY YOUR SELF. YOU ARE FREE TO ASK ME QUESTION ON THE AREA YOU MAY >NOT UNDERSTAND IN THIS DEAL.

KINDLY SEND ME YOUR CORRECT PHONE NUMBER SO THAT I CAN FORWRD IT TO THE DIPLOMATIC COMPANY BECAUSE THEY MUST CALL YOU AS SOON AS THE ARRIVE IN YOUR COUNTRY TO LET YOU KNOW THAT THEY HAVE ARRIVED.

REGARDS,
ANDY.

Oh dear, our poor Lad  is getting quite cross and has upped the "delivery fee" from 10,800 Euros [about £720 or $13,750] to £10,000 [about $18,000]. Well, why not - after all we are both dealing with money held in the Bank of Imagination...

Andy, here's some genuine advice for you - don't hold your breath....



CHARLES FARNES-BARNES

[Note to Scamorama fans: This telephone number is of what we Brits euphemistically call an escort and massage service.]

Dear Andy,

Your people can contact me on my personal private line: [0] 1438 815056.

I am out of the office for much of the next two days. If I am not in when they call, they should ask for one of my colleagues, Miss Jemima Cavendish or Miss Susan Knebworth.

Otherwise I can best be contacted on this e-mail address.

Best regards,

Charles


DR. ANDY JONES

I WANT YOU TO BE PRESENT DURING THIS CLAIMS BECAUSE I HAVE NOBUSINES WITH YOUR COLLEAGUES UNLESS YOU ARE TIRED IN THIS BUSINESS.


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