GOLDEN DORKS IN THE SUNSET

"Barrister" Hali still trying after three months: may 5 2006

Another exploit of the Foreign Office, who are always ready to assist Royalty.
"Barrister Jita Hali" opens with the Dead Bank Customer maneuver.
Princess Margaret immediately turns to her trusted advisors.

Jita Hali - a barrister in Burkina Faso

The Royalty:
HRH Princess Margaret - no, not that one, another one
The Foreign Office:
Charles Farnes-Barnes - Chief Executive, Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC
Stanley Muswell-Hill - Deputy Chief Executive Officer, Kreplach Brothers
Tushie Meshuganah - Chief Cashier, Africa Division, Kreplach Brothers
Michael Montague Barrymore - legal advisor
Henry Quelch - Also Chief Cashier, Africa Division, Kreplach Brothers (conflict in the making?)
Dr. Harold Shipman - Physician Royal
Hugh Janus - Cashier, Kreplach Brothers
Cuthbert Ngoblah - Divisional Head of Internet Security, Kreplach Brothers

Jita Hali Subject: I am waiting for the reply.
Date: Wed, 1 Feb 2006

From Barrister Jita Hali.
Senior Advocate of Burkina Faso ESQ
West Africa.

Attn:

With due respect, don't be surprised or afraid to receive this type of message from me. Well, I am Barrister Jita Hali, the personal resident Attorney here in Burkina Faso to Mr. Sheu Yuan-dong, the late governor of Taiwan's Central Bank, his wife and only daughter with other four other finance officials returning from a conference in Bali Died in a plane crash in Taiwan on February 16, 1998. My client was having an abandon sum of Thirty Million Five Hundred thousand united state dollars ($30.5m USD) with Bank of Africa, Burkina Faso.

The fact and confidentially, this sum kept here very secret while nobody knows except his wife, as he was a governor of Taiwan's Central Bank, anything can happen, so he kept this money here in case of emergency. Unfortunately he lost his live with his family in the event of the plane crash, since then I have made several enquiries to locate any of my client relatives but all my efforts were unsuccessful.

Above all, since nobody is coming for it and I don't want this money to go into the banks treasury as an unclaimed bill. Because the banking law and guidelines here stipulated that if such money remained unclaimed after eight (8) years the money will be transferred into the bank treasury as an unclaimed fund. The request of foreigner as next of kin in this business is occasioned by the fact that the customer was a Foreigner and a Burkina be cannot stand as next of kin to a foreigner.

View this website: http://www.cnn.com/WORLD/9802/16/taiwan.crash.update2/ After all these, I decided to trace his relatives over the Internet, to locate any member of his family but of no avail, hence I contacted you to assist me in repatriating the balance of late Mr. Sheu left behind to you as his real next of kin. For your assistance, I agree to offer you 30% as my foreign partner after the money will be transfer into your nominated bank account and 5% will be aside of any expenses during the transfer. Therefore to enable the immediate transfer of the fund to you as indicated, you must apply first to the bank as his next of kin, indicating your bank information where the money will be remitted. It may interest you to note that I have all necessary legal documents that can be used to backup the claim.

All I require is your honest cooperation to enable us seeing this deal through. I guarantee that this will be executed under a legitimate arrangement that will protect you and me from any breach of the law. I hope you will welcome this life opportunity, if so, please get back to me in confirmation of your good interest to enable us discuss further.

I look forward to hearing from you, so that I can send to you the text of application which you will fill-in your details where the money will be remitted and tender to the bank as his next of kin.

Thanks in anticipation of your kind co-operation.

Best regards,
Barr. Jita Hali.
HRH Princess Margaret Dear Barrister Git Hali

I am not sure this was really meant for me? Do you know who I am?

MARGARET

Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC, Duchess of Great Tesco, Stewardess of Llareggub, Prioress of Lotto,
Room 101
The Royal Les Dawson Suite
Kensington Doss House,
Buckingham
London
FU2 GlT
44 870 751 5170
Jita Hali Subject: I'm waiting My Dear.
Date: Thu, 2 Feb 2006
Received: from [212.52.139.58] <-- Onatel Telecom., Ouaga, Burkina Faso

Dear Margaret,

How are you and your family, Hope all is fine. Please I.m happy you get back to me over this my proposal. Before I answer your question, I will love to introduce my self once again for you to have more confidence in this business. Also go to your attachment file to view my Photo, Curt Staff ID.

Find my information below:
Full name: Barrister Jita Hali.
Postal Add: 01 BP. Ouaga2000 45712 01
Date of birth: 20/09/1957
House N.: EB-14 sect. 3

Concerning your question, yes I know you must be the great and the chosen one to do this business with and know one will ask question from any side. My princess, I will be happy if you will understand that this is a good business, and you can handle it without any problem that is why I contacted you into it.

You don.t have much to do than to stand as the next of kin to the account of my late client Mr. Sheu Yuan-dong of the late Governor of Taiwan Central Bank who was involve with the wife and the only daughter in the crash. From that period of the crash up to date, no one to clam his money because it is only the wife and me as the financial Attorney that stand witness of the account and Mr. Sheu, his wife and the only daughter all was involve in the crash.

Why I contacted you is that the bank wont to have this money as un-clam account anytime from 16th of this February which I as the financial Attorney, will not allow that to carry on by the bank because the money involve, is not a small money. For this reason I contacted you for us to clam the money and use it to open a partnership company in your country. Note, I.m a lawyer and the bank know me as the financial Attorney to the account for that, any body I present to the bank as the next of kin to my late client Mr. Sheu Yuan, the bank will accept the person and transfer the money to the persons account without delay.

I only wont you to follow my instructions as a lawyer, I have my VETO Power to do all my best to see that this money is been transfer into your account in your country from the day you apply to the bank to 7working days. My princess, I know you are a great one and will also know that nothing without private for that reason, this business is between me and you, don.t let another person know of this transfer to avoid somebody putting malaise over this transfer, hope you will understand this point. My princess, I will also advice if you can come to Africa for us to handle this together, it will look more finer, but I don.t know your programs in your country which if you can not come, I will advice you on the next steep to follow.

My requests are follows:

Full Name:........................................
Telephone N....................................
Fax N...............................................
Nationality ...
Age ...
Your Photo ..

My princess, send me this request so that I can advice you on the next thing to do. I will send to you the application form and the contact of the bank for you to fill in your information and forward to the bank without delay.

Barr. Jita Hali.

{ Another astute contributor to our noble cause.}
HRH Princess Margaret Dear Mr Hali

I will honour your request. You may take my details as follows:

Contact address & etc:
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC, Duchess of Great Tesco, Stewardess of Llareggub, Prioress of Lotto,
Room 101
The Royal Les Dawson Suite
Kensington Doss House,
Buckingham
London
FU2 GlT
44 871 424 0305

I am age 52.

I attach a recent photo which should suffice. If you require something then I have a decent shot from the recent state ball given here for the French ambassador, M. Toujours Le Plonquer.

Kind regards
Margaret

{ pic of her on stair: It is of a soap star Julie Goodyear, well known in the UK from a programme called Coronation Street}
Jita Hali Subject: To My Princess.
Date: Fri, 3 Feb 2006
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret,

Thanks for your mail and also your full willingness to be part of this transaction, I'm much grateful that you want us to join hands together and transfer this money into your account. We shall invest this money after the transfer into any business of your choice in your country.

Without delay, I won't to find out if you can come to Africa for this business? But if you can not come, no problem the money will be transfer with me as your Attorney. I want you to use the text below and request for original application from the bank because we should be very attentively for not doing mistake.

I'm much convinced to transfer this money and invest with you on your favour in any business you may choose but you have to understand that this transaction must go with trust and faithfulness and you must keep the business private because as a princess you have to know that this type of business is not the type of business you will allow people to know about it .You have to following up my instruction's as I'm the person who will protect your interest to make sure the money is transferred successful into your account in your country. I want you to bear in mind that any moment the bank contacted you after submitted the text, you should let me know immediately for proper verification before any attention, to avoid mistakes.

My princess, I will advice you address the text very well with your company letter heading or with your business letter heading if anyone to look more authentic before sending to the bank. You don't need to fax it, what you need is to send the application form by attachment for security reasons. Don't call the bank for now to avoid questions from the bank until I send all the information you need.

For your information, after the text arrive in the bank, the board of directors must surely call me for proper verification before making any movement for the transfer because they all knew me as financial Attorney to the money and cannot do anything concern the fund without my knowing, so you shouldn't forget to inform me to be prepare as soon as you send the text.

I will advice you also to focus your attention on this transaction because I will not welcome any delay.

My worried is, why don't you travel here in my country for us to meet face to face and discuss on how we will transfer this money into your account and also use the same opportunity to know ourselves better than communicating only through internet? I would have choose to travel there in your country but due to some cases I have in my Chamber, I cannot travel for now, so I will be waiting to hear from you. On contrary thereby you cannot travel because of your work equally, then I will like you to promise me that I will not have problem with you after the money will be transfer into your account.

I receive your photo and you must be a great woman and I love doing this business with you.

Best regard,
Barr. Jita Hali.
HRH Princess Margaret Dear Git

A pleasure to hear from you and I must apologise for the slight delay in response. I have been away at the state funeral of the Archbishop of Wankershire, and it quite took all weekend, what with the sermons and processions I had to contend with. Poor Sir Marmite, our Regis Chamberlain and Royal Soothsayer had spread himself too thinly, emotion wise, and was affected quite badly I am sad to say - which added to the strain of it all.

Anyway, I am back now and keen to progress in this matter. I must say that I am greatly encouraged by both the extent and convincing nature of your reply. It is a pleasure both to know and hopefully to do business with one who is so obviously such an astute and honest businessman. I hope, nay trust, that this affair will prove profitable for us both.

I have given some thought in regards to making travel to your country and must admit to some trepidation. One hears such terrible stories on the wireless about riots and the luck. Are you sure that your own movement is so restricted?

Also, business protocol at the Palace dictates that you will have to sign the Oath of Temporary Allegience to the throne before matters can proceed much further. Such matters are normally handled by Sir Michael Barrymore, the Commonwealth Commisioner of Oaths. I believe that all this can be done via email in exceptional circumstances such as this. Are you amenable to this idea? It will speed things up terribly, my dear chap, I can assure you of that.

Please let me have your thoughts as soon as possible, and I will give it the attention it deserves.

Kind regards
MARGARET
Jita Hali Subject: I'm waiting.
Date: Sat, 4 Feb 2006

My Dear,

I'm waiting for your reply on the transfer so I can know if you have communicated with the bank.

Thanks and I will be waiting.

Barr. Ijere Deen.
HRH Princess Margaret Dear Jita

I have applied to the bank as requested but have heard nothing back.

I am confused though: who is Barr. Ijere Deen? Is this email address secure?

Also please resend your identity image 300 dpi as it is not very clear and I like to have a good look at those I want to trust.

Kind regards
Jita Hali Subject: Hi My princess?
Date: Sun, 5 Feb 2006

My Dear Princess,

How are you doing, Hope all with you. Please my dear, I have been waiting for your email or call but did not receive any from you hope all is fine with you.

My princess, I will be waiting for your reply to know if you have contacted the bank as io instructed you to do.

Thanks and I will be waiting to know the next thing to do.

Barr. Jita Hali.
HRH Princess Margaret Dear Mr Git

How charming to hear from you yet again. As I previously intimated, I have replied to the bank with the necessary form and now anxiously await their judgement.

My regards to your wives.

MARGARET
Jita Hali Subject: You are my princess.
Date: Tue, 7 Feb 2006

My Dear Princess,

How are you and your family once again? Hope all is fine with you. I'm worried that you have not contacted me for a long time now, but I thank God you are back and also you have contacted the bank.

Concerning your question, Ijere Deen is a lawyer with me in my office and sometime I advice him to do one or two things for me. It is good you ask me that's why I won't to do this business with you because I love people who can ask question when things like this.

My princess, I will advice you to do anything you know that will make us achieve this business. In a situation that you can not come to my country because of your position, then we can go ahead by you informing the bank that your late business partner's lawyer will be representing you in the bank to do all that you have to do.

Note/ We don't need to allow people know about this business for that reason, if you wont to come and you don't have the time or people will like to know why you are going to Africa, then I can handle all things for you as your lawyer and the bank know me as the financial attorney to the bank.

Do not worry for anything about Mr. Ijere Deen, I am the one who ask him to send the massage to you because on that day, I have a client to stand for at the high Curt which I can not delay going that is the reason I advice him to send the massage to you.

As you requested my photo once again view your attachment file for the photo. If the bank ask you to come and you know that you will not come to Africa, you will let the bank know that your doctor advice you not to go for long journey for this time but anything the bank wants you to do, that you will send your late business partner attorney to come and do it without delay.

Thanks and will be waiting to receive your reply or call.

Barr. Jita Hali.
00226 76486833
HRH Princess Margaret Dear Git Hali

How delightful to hear back from you so promptly!

I have decided that it would be splendid to make a short visit to your little land, incognito of course, with all neb coms, and cut through some of this paperwork and delay. We will be able to combine this business with a bit of sight seeing at the refugee camps and whatnot, no doubt. If you can recommend a nice hotel for our small party, something clean and not too native, then so much the better. Please check this out for us there is a good chap.

Regards MARGARET
Jita Hali Subject: I'm waiting.
Date: Tue, 7 Feb 2006

Received: from [212.52.139.58]

Dear Princess,

How are you? Hope you are fine. Have you receive any information from the bank? If not, go ahead and contact them back. You will follow up the bank first and do all the bank ask you to do and when the bank request for you to come and sign of the fund realize documents, then you can come.

I wont you to get back to me as soon as the bank get back to you. Have this as your business and follow it up as your private business for easy transfer. Barr. Jita Hali.
HRH Princess Margaret Dear Mr Git

I have, I thought, replied to the bank. What is going on with them?

MARGARET
Charles Farnes- Barnes 9 February 2006

Dear Barrister,

I am the chief financial consultant to Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret, Duchess of Great Tesco. I understand that Her Royal Highness wishes to conclude some business with you.

If this involves any transfer of cash, please be advised that her bank details are as follows:

Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International, Cameron House, 69 Strawberry Avenue, London EC4 GIT
Account number: 9197230 Sort Code: 20-30-49

My personal private telephone number is [0]1483283182.

Feel free to contact me if you need any further information.

Yours truly,
Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC
Jita Hali Date: Thu, 9 Feb 2006

Sir Charles Farnes- Barnes,

Thanks for your letter, But My Princess did not introduce you to me, but I have to believe you because you don.t have my email address without my princess given it to you, which was the first reason. But I will be more appreciated, if my princess will write me a letter of introduction about you as her financial controller to make me fill free with you as her representative.

The banks called me as the financial attorney to the account and ask me if I know the princess as the next of kin to the account, which I answer yes to the bank. Also the bank management told me that the princess will be coming with you as the financial controller, and some other entourage.

I as the financial attorney to the account, has agree with the bank for the coming of the princess, but I will like you people to write to the bank and ask the bank to relate to me all about the transfer as you representing attorney in Africa and also as the late business partners lawyer to stand for you people until you come down for this reason anything the bank wont from you people, the bank have to contact me as you attorney, then I will get back to you people without delay.

The bank is going to transfer this money form Burkina Faso to the bank foreign remittance headquarter in Ghana for you to come down and sign the final realise certificate. But before then based on my meetings with the bank management, you people have to open account in Ghana with the Full Name of Princess, to enable the bank transfer the money from the BOA bank in Burkina to BOA headquarter in Ghana where you will come and sign for the final realise certificate before the money will live Africa.

Also the bank management, told me about hotel rooms that you requested for the bank management to arrange for you. Brother the bank management, did not have time for that because bank have many things handling in the bank which is official duties for that the bank ask me to arrange for the hotel for you people as your attorney also to let you know that you are going to open account in Ghana and transfer this money to Ghana before your coming to Ghana.

Now Sir Charles Farnes- Barnes, we need to find out what it will cost for the account to be open for with my princess name, secondly the cost of the hotel and the transferring cost without delay.

What I won.t you to do, is to contact the bank, ask the bank to inform you all the cost for the money to be shifted from Burkina to Ghana, that your attorney will be coming to collect the total cost and to get back to you. I have to advice my princess as her lawyer on what to do for the transfer not to be delay. Go ahead and contact the bank and let the bank know that princess lawyer will be coming to know the total cost of e.g.

The hotel rooms
To open account in the name of my princess
And to transfer the money from Burkina Faso to Ghana where you people will come and sign of the fund realise certificate for the money to be transfer into princess account in London.

As soon as you send the letter to the bank, you have to let me know because I.m your attorney in Africa and anything you are doing, I will stand witness for my princess before the bank and I will also direct you people from one department to another until the fund is been transfer. As soon as you let me know that you have send the letter to the bank, I will go and find out what it will take and the way you will send the money and the next thing to do.

You can call me as soon as you send the letter to the bank because I try your number for now is not going through but I will be trying the line, but you can call me on my line because I know my princess may not have time for telephoning me but I believe you can call me.

NOTE / YOU HAVE TO FORWARD TO ME THE FULL NAME OF PRINCESS TO ENABLE THE NEW ACCOUNT TO BE OPEN WITH HER NAME.

Thanks and will be waiting for your urgent reply.

Barr. Haji.

00226 76486833 my private number 24hrs service
Charles Farnes- Barnes 9th February 2006

Dear Barrister Hali,

Thank you for your informative e-mail. I am most impressed that you want confirmation of my credentials from Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret, Duchess of Great Tesco. This shows you are a careful person and as you will see I am sending a copy of this letter to Her Royal Highness who will doubtless send you a note confirming my position as her Personal Financial Consultant.

Once you have received this confirmation I suggest you contact me again and we can proceed with no further hesitation.

However, to save time, Her Royal Highness's full name is Margaret Rose Windsor. And incidentally, when writing to her as a matter of courtesy you should address her as Your Royal Highness.

Yours truly,

Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC
Chief Executive
Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International
Jita Hali To: Charles Farnes-Barnes
Subject: I'm waiting.
Date: Thu, 9 Feb 2006

Dear,

Send a letter to the bank and inform them that your attorney will come to find out the total cost and inform you about it also promise the bank that you will not delay in sending the bank demand.

Remember, I can not do anything without my princess introducing me to the bank.

Dear, let the bank to know that I will be coming to know that total cost so you can go ahead on the payment without delay.

Thanks and will be waiting for you to contact the bank. Remember as soon as you contact the bank, you have to inform me. I will also forward the letter I forwarded to you, to my princess.

Thanks and I will be waiting for your reply.

Barr. Hlali.
Charles Farnes- Barnes Dear Barrister,

I believe that Her Royal Highness has already contacted the bank.

It would be useful if you could confirm to me that this bank payment is ad valorem and therefore exempt from any VAT or other taxes with regard to the Nigerian Finance Act 1998 Section Nine sub section Two with which I am sure you are familiar.
Jita Hali Subject: This is for good.
Date: Fri, 10 Feb 2006

Sir Charles,

Thanks for the letter you forwarded to me today, hope all is fine with you and your family. Sir I.m surprise you have such thinking in you and will like to ask why because her royal highness will not think of that but at the same time is good for you to ask such question as the financial controller of my princess, it makes me to have more trust in you that you can handle anything left by your side and once again thanks for that.

I.m a lawyer in my country, but due to what is going on in Nigeria as a country as you said makes me to request the coming of my princess so that two of you will handle this transfer and sign for the relies certificate for the money to get into your country.

I have discourse with the bank this morning, and the bank told me that no email from the princess which I know one or two things may delay her from writing to the bank in time.

Due to money trafficking in Africa, the bank dissection, is to transfer this money to a security company in Ghana where you and princess will come and open account by yourselves in any bank you won.t, from the bank transfer the money to your country. Now you are not going to send any money for the opening of the account because you are going to do it yourself as you come to Ghana.

But you have to arrange for the hotel rooms, and to see what it takes for the money to get to the security company in Ghana. Sir Charles, this is not time for sentiments because we don.t need to delay in this transfer and on my own side, I.m doing my best and will always do the best. As you are coming to Africa to handle this, you don.t have to think of anything bad? Because I believe with your position, you know the good and bad.

Get ready for only the hotel cost and what it will cost to get this money from here to a security company in Ghana and also let me know when you people will be coming down to Ghana. Your hotel fee will be paid to the security company agent in Ghana, but the transferring of this money to the security company in Ghana will be paid to bank of Africa in Burkina Faso which you know the contact because the bank told me that you have once send a letter to them on behalf of the princess.

I will be waiting for you to send a latter to the bank and ask them what to do for the money to be transfer to Ghana and what will it cost you? Listen this will not cost you much which I advice we go ahead and do this because time is friend to no body. Without doing this we are just delaying this transfer because as princess lawyer in Africa, I have to link her with nothing but the good news which you as the financial controller have to follow this up and know that this is your work.

Remember you are going to open the account yourself as soon as you come down to Ghana. But for now, you are going to pay for the hotel rooms and the cost to transfer this money to the security company where you will come for the signing of the fund before it gets into your account that you will open in Ghana as you come to enable the bank transfer this into princess account in London.

Thanks and will be waiting for you reply.
Barr. Haji.
Charles Farnes- Barnes 10 February 2006

Dear Barrister Hali,
Thank you for your e-mail.

Since my last e-mail I have spoken to Her Royal Highness and I regret to inform you that she will be unable to visit you as planned because she has a most important engagement to fulfil, the opening of the M69 motorway in Smegaroon which will connect the county [of which she the Lord Lieutenant] directly to Cornwall.

However, she agress with me that the most expeditious way to further this matter is to instruct you to undertake all the necessary paperwork on her behalf. As I explained to her this is a not inconsiderable amount of work and she has graciously consented to offer you one thousand golden dorks [worth approximately US$5,000] if you will undertake this task. This money would be paid from the Committee of Underdevoped Nations UN Fund of which Her Royal Highness is a trustee.

Incidentally would you kindly confirm [as per my last letter] that these financial transactions are ad valorem and not subject to penalties under the Nigeria Finance ACt 1998 ?

Yours sincerely,
Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC
Jita Hali To: Charles Farnes-Barnes
Subject: I'm waiting.
Date: Thu, 9 Feb 2006

Dear,

Send a letter to the bank and inform them that your attorney will come to find out the total cost and inform you about it also promise the bank that you will not delay in sending the bank demand.

Remember, I can not do anything without my princess introducing me to the bank.

Dear, let the bank to know that I will be coming to know that total cost so you can go ahead on the payment without delay.

Thanks and will be waiting for you to contact the bank. Remember as soon as you contact the bank, you have to inform me. I will also forward the letter I forwarded to you, to my princess.

Thanks and I will be waiting for your reply.
Barr. Hlali.
Charles Farnes- Barnes To: jitahali55@yahoo.com
CC: Princess Margaret
Date: Fri, 10 Feb 2006

Dear Barrister,

I believe that Her Royal Highness has already contacted the bank.

It would be useful if you could confirm to me that this bank payment is ad valorem and therefore exempt from any VAT or other taxes with regard to the Nigerian Finance Act 1998 Section Nine sub section Two with which I am sure you are familiar.

Yours truly,

Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC
Chief Executive
Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International
Jita Hali { Jita ploughs on, ever hopeful... }

Subject: This is a copy of the letter I send to your financial controller.
Date: Thu, 9 Feb 2006

Sir Charles Farnes- Barnes,


Thanks for your letter, But My Princess did not introduce you to me, but I have to believe you because you don't have my email address without my princess given it to you,
.... etc. etc. ....
Thanks and will be waiting for your urgent reply.

Barr. Haji.
00226 76486833 my private number 24hrs service
Jita Hali Subject: I'm waiting.
Date: Wed, 8 Feb 2006
My Dear Princes,

How are you once again? Hope all is fine with you. Dear up to date, I don't know how you are doing with the bank.

If you can not understand the ban, what you have to do is to contact me as somebody who introduces this business to you and anything you are trying to do without me; the bank will contact me and ask me about you as the financial attorney to the account.

The bank call me today as the financial attorney to the account and inform me that somebody by name Margaret apply as the next of kin, but that the person is not following the bank instructions. I won't to know from you what exactly or what position are you with the bank?

NOTE/ I advice you that any email or letter from the bank as you may understand it, should be forwarded to me for me to advice you on what to do but you did not.

The secretary of the Mrs Angela, let me know that the bank has forwarded two official documents to you and you did not inform me why? Is that the way you are going to do this business with me? My Princess, I have invest a lot of money and also devote my time into this before I contacted you and will not like a situation that simple mistakes will make us not to have this money.

Do you won't to make mistakes? Why you did not forward the documents to me so that I can advice you on what to do. Can you handle this without me? My Princess, before contacting you, I believe you can not make mistakes like this. Any question from the bank to you, I'm the person to give you the answer that is the reason I said to you that any letter from the bank, you have to forward the letter to me for me to have a look into it and give you the answer.

Please for the progress of this business, I advice you forward to me what ever you receive from the bank. I will not go to sleep until I receive your reply. It is me as your late business partner lawyer wills always advice you on what to do not you going ahead without my knowledge.

Thanks and will be waiting.
Barr. Hali.
HRH Princess Margaret Dear Hali

I am not sure I understand. I am positive that I had the instructions of these fellows followed to the letter. What else would they want of me?

Please check with them again as this is all very disturbing. I will not be here most of this weekend as I am judging the annual Clambake Championships in Smegaroon, but will occasionally check my mail.

MARGARET
Charles Farnes- Barnes 9th February 2006

Dear Barrister Hali,

Thank you for your informative e-mail. I am most impressed that you want confirmation of my credentials from Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret, Duchess of Great Tesco. This shows you are a careful person and as you will see Iam sending a copy of this letter toHer Royal Highness who will doubtless send you a note confirming my position as her Personal Financial Consultant.

Once you have received this confirmation I suggest you contact me again and we can proceed with no further hesitation.

However, to save time, Her Royal Highness's full name is Margaret Rose Windsor. And incidentally, when writing to her as a matter of courtesyyou should address her as Your Royal Highness.

Yours truly,
Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC
Chief Executive
Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International

{ GETTING EXCITED, ISN'T HE ? }
Jita Hali Subject: This is for good.
Date: Fri, 10 Feb 2006

Sir Charles,

Thanks for the letter you forwarded to me today, hope all is fine with you and your family. Sir Im surprise you have such thinking in you and will like to ask why because her royal highness will not think of that but at the same time is good for you to ask such question as the financial controller of my princess, it makes me to have more trust in you that you can handle anything left by your side and once again thanks for that.

Im a lawyer in my country, but due to what is going on in Nigeria as a country as you said makes me to request the coming of my princess so that two of you will handle this transfer and sign for the relies certificate for the money to get into your country.

I have discourse with the bank this morning, and the bank told me that no email from the princess which I know one or two things may delay her from writing to the bank in time.

Due to money trafficking in Africa, the bank dissection, is to transfer this money to a security company in Ghana where you and princess will come and open account by yourselves in any bank you wont, from the bank transfer the money to your country. Now you are not going to send any money for the opening of the account because you are going to do it yourself as you come to Ghana.

But you have to arrange for the hotel rooms, and to see what it takes for the money to get to the security company in Ghana. Sir Charles, this is not time for sentiments because we dont need to delay in this transfer and on my own side, Im doing my best and will always do the best. As you are coming to Africa to handle this, you dont have to think of anything bad? Because I believe with your position, you know the good and bad.

Get ready for only the hotel cost and what it will cost to get this money from here to a security company in Ghana and also let me know when you people will be coming down to Ghana. Your hotel fee will be paid to the security company agent in Ghana, but the transferring of this money to the security company in Ghana will be paid to bank of Africa in Burkina Faso which you know the contact because the bank told me that you have once send a letter to them on behalf of the princess.

I will be waiting for you to send a latter to the bank and ask them what to do for the money to be transfer to Ghana and what will it cost you? Listen this will not cost you much which I advice we go ahead and do this because time is friend to no body. Without doing this we are just delaying this transfer because as princess lawyer in Africa, I have to link her with nothing but the good news which you as the financial controller have to follow this up and know that this is your work.

Remember you are going to open the account yourself as soon as you come down to Ghana. But for now, you are going to pay for the hotel rooms and the cost to transfer this money to the security company where you will come for the signing of the fund before it gets into your account that you will open in Ghana as you come to enable the bank transfer this into princess account in London.

Thanks and will be waiting for you reply.
Barr. Haji.
Jita Hali { GETTING REALLY HOT UNDER THE COLLAR... }

To: Charles Farnes-Barnes
Subject: I'm waiting.
Date: Thu, 9 Feb 2006

Dear,

Send a letter to the bank and inform them that your attorney will come to find out the total cost and inform you about it also promise the bank that you will not delay in sending the bank demand.

Remember, I can not do anything without my princess introducing me to the bank.

Dear, let the bank to know that I will be coming to know that total cost so you can go ahead on the payment without delay.

Thanks and will be waiting for you to contact the bank. Remember as soon as you contact the bank, you have to inform me. I will also forward the letter I forwarded to you, to my princess.

Thanks and I will be waiting for your reply.
Barr. Hlali.
Jita Hali { GETTING SO WORKED UP HE HAS FORGOTTEN TELL ME HOW MUCH MONEY HE WANTS - BUT DON'T FRET BARRISTER HALI, YOUR DORKS WILL SOON BE ON THE WAY [or maybe not...] }

Subject: Hi to you family.
Date: Sat, 11 Feb 2006

Sir Charles,

Once again I will like to ask your family health which is more important. I have this information to pass and that is why I have to write you this morning. The bank may send to you any letter similar to the proposal or to this business to know what you will do, please if you receive any email from any side, dont reply the letter just forward the letter to me.

I wont to call you on phone to know how your voice is like but due to this business needs secrete, this business will not be discoursed on phone for security reasons. Note the money in question, is not small.

Once again for the sending the cost,

Name (Mr. Mohamed Hamza)
Country (Ouagadougou Burkina Faso)
West Africa

Western Union Money Transfer for quick collection.

Barr. Hali.

NOTE/ I forward all about this transfer to you as the financial attorney to my princess and you the one to get back to her. I only send letter of greetings to her.
Jita Hali Subject: Barr. Hali.
Date: Sat, 11 Feb 2006

Sir Charles,

Did you receive my letter to you? I will be waiting for your responds. Once again, how is your family?

Thanks and will be waiting.
Barr. Hali.
Stanley Muswell-Hill 13 February 2006

Dear Barrister Hali,

Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes is attending an international financial conference in America but he has asked me to reply to your e-mail.

As I believed he explained in his last letter to you, neither Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret, Duchess of Great Tesco nor Sir Charles wish to concern themselves with administrative details. As Sir Charles told you, Kreplach Brothers is prepared to pay you an up-front fee of one thousand golden dorks to take care of these matters on behalf of Her Royal Highness.

If this is acceptable I will arrange for an immediate transfer of funds. However, I must further advise you that we cannot spend much further time with regard to this matter and that you should let me know as soon as possible if you agree to these terms.

Yours faithfully,
Stanley Muswell-Hill
Deputy Chief Executive Officer
Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC
Jita Hali Subject: From Barr. Haji.
13th February 2006

Dear Mr. Stanley Muswell-hill,

You can go ahead and transfer the fund with this mane, and send the information to me. Mohamed Hamza is my secretary.

Name (Mr. Mohamed Hamza)
Country (Burkina Faso Ouagadougou)
West Africa

Western Union Money Transfer for quick collection.

Barr. Hali.
Haji Chambers
Stanley Muswell-Hill 13 February 2006

Dear Barrister,

Yes, I can arrange a transfer of funds but you have not replied to the following questions asked by Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC last week:

1. Whether you prefer to receive golden dorks or Canadian dollars.

2. Is the transfer ad valorem prepuce with regard to the Nigeria Finance Act 1998 ? If so we do not have to worry about any tax payments.

3. Please note that we cannot transfer money via Western Union. We can only transfer funds to a bank account. Send me details of your bank account and we can process the necessary modalities very quickly.

Yours sincerely,

Stanley Muswwell-Hill
Deputy Chief Executive
Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC
North London Branch
Lobatto House
99 Ramos Road
London NW3 FU2
private mobile telephone: xxxxxxxxxxx [Yes, please xxx it out as the number is actually Prince Charles's private mobile - he uses it to make arrangements such as drinks at the Jim Jam Club with myself and Lady Agatha Bristol.]
Jita Hali To: Charles Farnes-Barnes
Subject: From Barr. Haji.
Date: Mon, 13 Feb 2006

13th February 2006

Dear Mr. Stanley Muswell-hill,

You can go ahead and transfer the fund with this mane, and send the information to me. Mohamed Hamza is my secretary.

Name (Mr. Mohamed Hamza)
Country (Burkina Faso Ouagadougou)
West Africa

Western Union Money Transfer for quick collection.

Barr. Hali.
Haji Chambers
Stanley Muswell-Hill From: "Charles Farnes-Barnes"
To: jitahali55@yahoo.com
Date: Mon, 13 Feb 2006

Dear Barrister,

Yes, I can arrange a transfer of funds but you have not replied to the following questions asked by Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC last week:

1. Whether you prefer to receive golden dorks or Canadian dollars.
2. Is the transfer ad valorem prepuce with regard to the Nigeria Finance Act 1998 ? If so we do not have to worry about any tax payments.
3. Please note that we cannot transfer money via Western Union. We can only transfer funds to a bank account. Send me details of your bank account and we can process the necessary modalities very quickly.

Yours sincerely,
Stanley Muswwell-Hillbr> Deputy Chief Executivebr> Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC
Jita Hali Date: Sat, 11 Feb 2006

Sir Charles,
Did you receive my letter to you? I will be waiting for your responds. Once again, how is your family?
Thanks and will be waiting.

Barr. Hali.
Stanley Muswell-Hill 13 February 2006

Dear Barrister Hali,

Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes is attending an international financial conference in America but he has asked me to reply to your e-mail.

As I believed he explained in his last letter to you, neither Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret, Duchess of Great Tesco nor Sir Charles wish to concern themselves with administrative details. As Sir Charles told you, Kreplach Brothers is prepared to pay you an up-front fee of one thousand golden dorks to take care of these matters on behalf of Her Royal Highness.

If this is acceptable I will arrange for an immediate transfer of funds. However, I must further advise you that we cannot spend much further time with regard to this matter and that you should let me know as soon as possible if you agree to these terms.

Yours faithfully,
Stanley Muswell-Hill
Deputy Chief Executive Officer
Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC
Jita Hali Subject: I'm waiting.
Date: Fri, 10 Feb 2006

My princesse,

Hi for you and your family once again.i advice you contact your financial controller to feed you back on our arrangements.

If any question necessary, you can ask me directly.

Thanks and will be waiting for your reply.
HRH Princess Margaret Dear Gita

Have you liaised with Farnes Barnes yet my financial chap? I am keen to proceed with these matters.

Kind regards
MARGARET
Jita Hali Subject: To My Princess.
Date: Wed, 8 Feb 2006

You know that this is bank not personal, for that reason you have to understand that the bank have many things handling by them which is first come first serve.

My princess, remember you have to forward to me anything that the bank sent to you for me to advice you on what to do to avoid mistakes. I'm the person that introduces you into this business, and you have to follow up my instruction.

As I understand, you are involving much people into this business which is not the arrangement between me and you from the beginning of this business. My princess, you with your position, knows that no secrete no business I'm advising for the security of this transfer.

Go ahead and re-contact the bank if you have not received any email from the bank and don't forget to forward any response from the bank to me for me to advice you on what to do. When it is time for you to come to the bank, the bank will get you informed.

Even if you are coming to Africa with your entourage, not all will know exactly what you are coming to do. Your entourage maybe thinking you is coming to visit a friend. But before the time we have something to finalize with the bank before your coming.

Thanks My Princess.
Barr. Hali.
Jita Hali Subject: I'm waiting.
Date: Mon, 13 Feb 2006

Dear Mr. Stanley Muswwell-Hill,
With regards to your mail, all the contents were quite understood thanks. Based on your question, i have given Mr Charles every assurance regarding this transaction. It is risk free. My answer to Mr. Charles, i can not do anything that will tarnish my image and my reputation in this my country. NOTE / I as a representative, can not involve myself in anything that will befall my international career, finally as a family man with my position, will not do anything nefarious. I am aware of the personality involve in this transaction and would not want to disappoint Her Royal Highness. For all these reason, you go ahead and send the money.

(Send the money through this account)
UWAKWE Nkere Bright
08 BP 11101
OUAGADOUGOU 08
(ACCOUNT NUMBER 0.112.510.000.5)

Yes, you can send the money in any currency, provided it is the same amount which Her Royal Highness has approved.
Thanks and I will be waiting for the payment sleep as soon as you made the payment.

Barr. Hali
Stanley Muswell-Hill 14 February 2006

Dear Hali,

You do not appear to be reading letters sent to you by this Bank with any care.

This is not child's play and I must insist that you reply to these simple questions - which Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes and myself have asked you several times before - as soon as possible.

1. Exactly how much money is required ?
2. Is the transaction ad valorem vas deferens with regard to Section Three of the Nigeria Finance Act 1998 ?
3. What is the procedure after this money is sent to you ?

This is not the usual way we conduct financial transactions on behalf of Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret, Duchess of Great Tesco. I need brief straightforward answers before I can proceed any further with this business.

Yours faithfully,
Stanley Muswell-Hill
Deputy Chief Executive
Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC
Jita Hali Subject: I'm waiting my princess.
Date: Tue, 14 Feb 2006

My Dear Princess,

I thank GOD for the journey mercy, my princess; I have been communicating Mr. Farnes Barnes. but yesterday, I received a letter from (Mr. Stanley Muswwell-Hill) informing me that (Mr. Farnes Barnes), is attending an international financial conference in America but instructed him to pay the sum of one thousand golden dorks to take care of the transaction on behalf of Her Royal Highness.

Mr. Stanley Muswwell-Hill after given him the information concerning the payment, he got back to ask the same question that I have answered Mr. Farnes Barnes. I got ahead in answering him the questions. Mr. Stanley Muswwell-Hill also said that he will not make the payment through Western Union Money Transfer, I also send to him the account information to use for the payment but up to this time, I have not receive any reply from him about the payment.

As you are back, I will advice you follow up this transaction yourself, because if you live them to handle this for you, sometime mistakes might arise. I told Mr. Farnes Barnes that the total money for the paper work is $USD6.750.00 but he said that the money you approved for this transaction is one thousand golden dorks which I accepted and asked him to go ahead and send the money, which is yet to receive.

My princess, as you can understand that sending this money through account to me will delay for some days before clearing it. You know that I have to procure these documents and submit them to the bank immediately because the bank has scheduled its time. But if you finally say that the payment will be through account, then go ahead but I will advice you send the money through Western Union Money Transfer to me in other to go ahead in procuring the documents without delay.

The bank told me that you asked the management to look for hotel accommodation and inform you the cost. My princess, the bank said I'm the right person to look for hotel reservation for you. Because the bank will not welcome you at the airport, it is my responsibility as your attorney to do so.

Once again my princess, I receive a massage from Mr. Stanley Muswell-Hill just know and I will forward it to you. My princess why is it that many people are replying me on this transaction? I will advice you to know what to do. Why is it that your financial controller can not handle this business? But involving many into it, I will not reply anybody email unless you or your financial controller as directed earlier.

My princess, for the payment you can go ahead and send the money with any system you want but remember Western Union Money Transfer, will be faster so that we can meet the bank given time.

(Western Union Money Transfer)
Name (Mr. Mohamed Hamza)
Country (Ouagadougou Burkina Faso)
West Africa
If it will be through account, then you will use this information bellow.

BANK OF AFRICA BURKINA FASO
UWAKWE Nkere Bright
08 BP 11101
OUAGADOUGOU 08
(ACCOUNT NUMBER 0.112.510.000.5)

Thanks and I will be waiting for the payment sleep as soon as you made the payment.
Barr. Hali
HRH Princess Margaret Dear Bar Jita

How delightful to hear from you again and I appreciate your (rather long winded) description of the modalities here. You will appreciate that we have certain methods of working here which means that we cannot just go off half cock as it were, but must observe the correct protocols. There are reputations at stake.

We hear and understand what you say in connection with a Western Union transfer. The advice I have is that such a procedure would be difficult, at least unless you are willing to sign an Oath of Temporary Allegience to the House of Windsor, a decision which would considerably speed up matters of payment and would certainly ease our doubts about an unsecured transfer. The Oath would be administered by Sir Michael Barrymore, our Commonwealth Commisioner, and I take the liberty of copying him in should you wish to pursue this avenue, as I know time is pressing.

Without such an agreement in place, then the bank would have to handle an account-to-account transfer as no doubt outlined by Mr Muswell-Hill. I would also prefer to do such matters face to face and so, as you kindly intimate, perhaps you could look into accomodation for myself and small entourage in the near future? This would be no more than 16 people.

Kind regards to your wives and children

MARGARET
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
Stanley Muswell-Hill 15 February 2006

Dear Hali,

Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret, Duchess of Great Tesco has passed on to me your latest letters to her.

I am sorry that you feel slighted because I have asked you some simple questions which must be answered before we complete this transaction. However, although you mention to Her Royal Highness that you accept the sum of one thousand golden dorks, you did NOT inform either Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes or myself of this fact.

You have still to confirm that this transaction will be ad valorem vas deferens in accordance of the Nigeria Finance Act 1998 although you have been asked TWICE to do so.

At least we now have the bank account to which we will send the cash. Nevertheless, until I receive your assurance with regard to the ad valorem vas deferens statement I cannot proceed with what should be a very simple, quick transfer of funds.

Once you have taken the Temporary Oath of Allegiance to Her Royal Highness [if you are unsure of the simple procedure, feel free to contact her and ask what this entails].

Any delay in this matter is of your making but at least you have the consolation of knowing that your dorks have risen in value by 4% since you began this correspondence with Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes. This is due to the rise in the worldwide price of gold bullion. When you change the dorks into US dollars you will receive approximately an extra $165.

Your dorks have been drawn from the Royal Treasury and the transaction will be completed by my colleague Mrs Tushie Meshuganah of our African Division based in Edinburgh, Scotland. She can be contacted by telephone on [0]131 225 9986 or by e-mail: tushie@hotmail.co.uk

However, before you contact her you MUST send me an e-mail that should state:

"I confirm that the transfer of funds between myself and Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret is ad valorem vas deferens with reference to the Nigerian Finance Act 1998 Section Three."

Please reply promptly - modalities are pressing.

Yours truly,

Stanley Muswell-Hill>
Deputy Chief Executive>
Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC
Jita Hali Subject: My princess, i'm waiting to night.
Date: Tue, 14 Feb 2006

My princess

This is the letter I received from Mr. Stanley Muswwell-Hill just now. He keeps on asking one question all the time as if we are children.

I have answered all his questions and I dont know why he keeps on asking the same question every time every day it is embarrassing. I have replied their letters two times yesterday and yet they are not satisfied.

Thanks,
Barr. Hali.
Jita Hali Subject: Awaiting.
Date: Thu, 16 Feb 2006

Mr. Stanley Muswwell-Hill,

How are you ? I received your mail late last night as a result of our meeting with the bar association, after reading your mail, i was disappointed because this is not what i expected. I expected by now, this transaction suppose to have gone a long way.

I repeat, Im a man of valor and integrity I dont suppose to do any thing that will affect my reputation in this country, if Im not sure of what Im doing (transaction) I would not involve my self talk more of Her Royal Highness.

Based on your question once again Im bringing to your notice that my country is not Nigeria and has nothing to do with their law. I have made it clear. Let this transaction commence for us to meet up their demand.

Once more, i assure you that this transaction will be ad valorem vas deferens in accordance of the Nigeria Finance Act 1998 which i have been answering you all the time. Mr. Stanley Muswwell i will advice we build trust to ourselves in this transaction in other for us to achieve our aim.

Coming to the Oath of allegiance, Her Royal Highness, mentioned on how i want the money to be transferred. But i have finally concluded with Her Royal Highness, that the money will be transfer to me, account to account for us to save time. For this reason, the Oath is no more important. I also advice you to find out from Her Royal Highness because Im forwarding this letter to her.

I think with this explanation, you will be convinced without any reasonable doubt. Please, go ahead and make the payment.

Barr. Hali.
Stanley Muswell-Hill 16 February 2006

Dear Hali,

Thank you for your prompt reply which has cleared up all the necessary details needed to finalise matters. As you are not a Nigerian national the need of a Temporary Oath of Allegiance may not apply. However, please understand that this is not for me to decide - no doubt Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret, Duchess of Great Tesco will let you know as to whether you are indeed excused from this formality.

I believe that Her Royal Highness is planning to visit you in the near future. It would be most helpful if you could recommend a hotel which I will pass on to Lady Agatha Bristol, Her Royal Highness's Private Secretary, who will make the necessary travel arrangements.

As I informed you my colleague at our African division, Mrs Tushie Meshuganah will transfer the golden dorks to the bank account nominated by you immediately after Her Royal Highness graciously gives her assent for the transaction to be concluded.

However, to ensure security, please e-mail Mrs Meshuganah with your bank account details and quote the following payment code: FU69419666/BF/U. I would further advise that you memorise this code and immediately delete this e-mail from your computer.

I spoke to Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes last night and he sends his best wishes to you.

Yours sincerely,

Stanley Muswell-Hill
Deputy Chief Executive
Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International
Jita Hali To: Charles Farnes-Barnes
Subject: My princess, i'm waiting to night.
Date: Tue, 14 Feb 2006

My princess,

This is the letter I received from Mr. Stanley Muswwell-Hill just now. He keeps on asking one question all the time as if we are children.

I have answered all his questions and I don't know why he keeps on asking the same question every time every day it is embarrassing. I have replied their letters two times yesterday and yet they are not satisfied.

Thanks,

Barr. Hali.

Dear Hali, You do not appear to be reading letters sent to you by this Bank with any care. This is not child's play, etc. etc.
Jita Hali Subject: Hi my princess?
Date: Wed, 15 Feb 2006

My Dear princess,

How are you and your family, hope all is fine with you? My princess, I will do as you advice me to do for the accommodation. As soon as I finish up procuring the documents, I will go ahead for the hotel accommodation. As I said to (Mr. Muswwell-Hill), based on his question every assurance regarding this transaction, have nothing to do with e.g.
ad valorem vas deferens with regard to Section Three of the Nigeria Finance Act 1998?
Secondly I can not do anything that will tarnish my image and my reputation in my country.
Note / I as a representative, can not involve myself in anything that will befall my international career, finally as a family man with my position, will not do anything nefarious.
I'm aware of the personality involve in this transfer and would not want to disappoint Her Royal Highness.
For the payment, as is going to be account to account, you should go ahead and transfer the money to avoid more delay.
For all this reasons, you go ahead and send the money account to account.
(Send the money through this account)
BANK OF AFRICA BURKINA FASO
UWAKWE Nkere Bright
08 BP 11101
OUAGADOUGOU 08
(ACCOUNT NUMBER 0.112.510.000.5)

Barr. Hali
HRH Princess Margaret 16 Feb

Dear Mr Jita

How charming to hear from you once again. We have taken on board all of your points and considered what you have to say very carefully. After speaking at length to Mr Barrymore and Mr Muswell-Hill, considering all the aspects in hand, we must still admit to some surprise that you do not consider this an ad valorem vas deferens matter, pro vom popadom or not, with regard to Section Three of the Nigeria Finance Act 1998. You may wish to check this as it may be a stumbling block.

More importantly, both Mr Tossov and Mr Barrymore are of the strong opinion that, even if the Nigeria Act is not applicable as you suggest, then the necessity for a completed Oath of Temporary Allegiance is even more paramount. I welcome your views on this but we really cannot compromise protocol in the way you suggest, and its completion will help the progress of this matter considerably as we will see trust as having been established. We certainly would not countenance money transfer before these stages are completed, suffice to say.

We are delighted that you are able to sort out matters on the accomodation issue and look forward to seeing a prospectus. Please note that my head valet, Mr Sween E. Todd, is a vegetarian.

Kind regards
MARGARET
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
Jita Hali Subject: Advice me on what to do without delay
Date: Thu, 16 Feb 2006

My Dear princess,

Thanks for your co operation in this transaction, i also forward a letter i received from. Mr. Stanley Muswwell-Hill just now. Please advice me on what to do because the people involve are many. do i have to go ahead and contact Mrs. Tushie Meshuganah for the payment ? Remember she dont know me.

Go through the lette rand advice me on what to do.

Barr. Hali.
Stanley Muswell-Hill 16 February 2006

Dear Hali,

Thank you for your prompt reply which has cleared up all the necessary details needed to finalise matters. As you are not a Nigerian national the need of a Temporary Oath of Allegiance may not apply. However, please understand that this is not for me to decide - no doubt Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret, Duchess of Great Tesco will let you know as to whether you are indeed excused from this formality.

I believe that Her Royal Highness is planning to visit you in the near future. It would be most helpful if you could recommend a hotel which I will pass on to Lady Agatha Bristol, Her Royal Highness's Private Secretary, who will make the necessary travel arrangements.

As I informed you my colleague at our African division, Mrs Tushie Meshuganah will transfer the golden dorks to the bank account nominated by you immediately after Her Royal Highness graciously gives her assent for the transaction to be concluded.

However, to ensure security, please e-mail Mrs Meshuganah with your bank account details and quote the following payment code: FU69419666/BF/U. I would further advise that you memorise this code and immediately delete this e-mail from your computer.

I spoke to Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes last night and he sends his best wishes to you.

Yours sincerely,
Stanley Muswell-Hill 16 Feb

Dear Jita

Mr Muswell-Hill has my complete confidence, as does Mrs Meshuganah who works in the African Division, or even Mr Muswell-Hill's occasional deputy, Mr Crouchend. Surely this is plain enough? Payment will come from one or another, once the Oath is assumed to be in place.

MARGARET
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
Tushie Meshuganah 17 February 2006

Dear Barrister Hali,

This is to confirm that I have one thousand golden dorks ready to be sent to the bank which you have nominated.

However I understand that Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret insists that you take the Oath of Temporary Allegiance before this substantial amount of money can be forwarded. Incidentally, I can now send you the equivalent sum in US dollars. Would this be preferable ?

Be assured that when the Oath has been administered you will receive what you deserve.

Yours truly,

Mrs Tushie Meshuganah
Chief Cashier
Africa Division
Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC
Jita Hali Subject: I cant understand.
Date: Thu, 16 Feb 2006

My princess,

The system of this business is what i can not understand any more and will like to ask why ? You said that the Oath will be in active in a satiation if i want this money to be transferred through Western Union Money Transfer, you also advice that it will take time and all we agree that this money will be paid account to account now you are bringing the system of Oath again do you want us to go ahead in this transaction or not?

Once more I will follow up this with you people, but after that and any other condition comes out again, I will back off the transaction. I want to find out from you what to do for the Oath to be in place without delay.

If it is something that will take me time, I will back off the transaction because my arrangement with you is for you to assist me in this transaction not for the organization or what ever people communicating me in this transaction. Not only have that, up to date, this transaction keep on disclosed to different people which I can't understand.

My princess, I will be waiting for the condition of the Oath for me to make my choice.

Barr. Hali.
HRH Princess Margaret 17 feb

Dear Barr. Jita

How charming to hear from you again. I am pleased that now, at least as I understand it, you agree to take the Oath of Allegiance, and will ask Mr Barrymore to administer it to you as soon as possible.

You may rest assured that completing this simple process will quickly bring you what you so obviously deserve.

Incidentally we are just having a little spring clean here at the palace, shall I keep an eye out for any nick nacks which you might useful, pens, towels and bedding and the like? I know what you people are like.

Kind regards
MARGARET
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
Jita Hali Subject: Waiting for the next action.
Date: Fri, 17 Feb 2006

My Dear Princess,

I'm waiting for the next action based on the Oath as you said.

Thanks and i will be waiting.

Barr. Haji.
Michael Montague Barrymore Subject: OATH OF TEMPORARY ALLEGIANCE
Date: February 17, 2006

Dear Barr Jita

OATH OF TEMPORARY ALLEGIENCE
# 1SA-CNT E.R. (Elizabeth II Regis)

WHEREAS PRINCESS MARGARET has asked that I invest you with the Oath of Temporary Allegiance to the House of Windsor, this is hereby done. I understand in respect of some pending commercial considerations a reply is required urgently.

Please note that the Oath, sent to yourself at this address as advised is a discreet formality and is NOT transferrable either to kin or tribe.

The Oath should be read out loud, printed out, and signed along with a witness (of no relation). Together with the signed document, scanned and returned to us, there should be in accompanyment a 300 dpi photograph of yourself, right hand raised. To confirm this is your image, please display prominently in the image the relevant Oath code 1SA-CNT ER

OATH OF FORMAL ALLEGIANCE TO THE HOUSE OF WINDSOR

"I _____________________ of _______________________
County State of ___________________
do hereby solemnly swear that I will bear true allegiance to the House of Windsor in full quims, and support and sustain the Right Royal Business thereof; that I will maintain utmost discretion in fey vimtos paramount to all; that as total git I will discourage, discountenance, all breaking of this merkin troth, pledge my honor, to the sacred performance of this, my solemn Oath of Allegiance to the Royal Highnesses thereto. De Paquet Cheerios in flagrente delecto. Pro vom poppadom rexus quasi dominus poxy.

signed ..............................................
witnessed ..............................................
date ..............................................

OATH issued 17.2.2006 # 1SA-CNT E.R

This Oath is issued by my office, as per commercial protocol and in lieu of a face to face appearance which, due to urgency and geographical distance, would otherwise prove impossible. Normally more documentation would be required but Her Majesty has graciously waived this element of protocol in this instance.

If you have any questions, please contact either myself at once or speak to a trusted legal representative.

I am sir,

Your humble servant
BARRYMORE
Michael Barrymore AASA, DFC,
HER MAJESTYS COMMONWEALTH COMMISSIONER OF OATHS
2645 Gooliepully Road
Stringalonga, TOCUMWAL,NSW,2714
Phone: (02) 9298 xxxx
Fax: (02) 9298 xxxx

Tushie Meshuganah Subject: OATH OF ALLEGIANCE
Date: February 17, 2006

17 February 2006

Dear Barrister Hali

I am pleased to inform you that Her Royal Highness Prinncess Margaret has authorised a further payment of two hundred and fifty golden dorks in addition to the thousand already alloted to you.

I understand that this extra payment is to compensate for the time and trouble in taking the Oath of Temporary Allegiance to the House of Windsor.

Once the Oath has been taken PLEASE DO NOT FORGET to mail me the code given you by Mr Muswell-Hill at our London office. Once I receive this your dorks will be with you within six hours if not sooner.

Yours truly,

Mrs Tushie Meshuganah
Africa Division
Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC
Charles Farnes-Barnes Subject: OATH OF ALLEGIANCE
Date: February 17, 2006

17 February 2006

Dear Jita Hali,

I have just returned from the USA and I see from the correspondence that all seems to be on track although the modalities are taking rather longer than expected.

However, although Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret insists you take the oath [an understandable if perhaps unnecessary precaution with regard to such as yourself, an upstanding member of the legal profession], I gather from Mrs Tushie Meshuganah that Her Royal Highness has asked the bank to forward you an extra two hundred and fifty golden dorks to compensate you for any time and trouble in performing this simple task.

Please do not hesitate to contact me if there is anything further I can do.

Yours faithfully,
Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC
Jita Hali 17 Feb 2006

My Dear Princess,
Thanks for your email to night, I also recive a copy of the Oath of Allegience from Mr.M.Barrymore, and I am going to fill it , sighned and foward it back to Mr.M.Barrymore for comfirmation.
I will not hesistate to send a copy of it also to you, My Princess immediately I fill it and sighned it for your verication and clarifications for what to do next.

Thanks and I will be waiting.
Barr.Hali.
HRH Princess Margaret Dear Jita

I am delighted that you can see your way clear to following this element of protocol, and we look forward to seeing your Oath.

In the meantime I will naturally hasten to put wheels in motion this end.

Kind regards
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
Jita Hali
Subject: Oath Of Allegiance. ( view your attachment)
Date: Tue, 21 Feb 2006

My Dear Princess,

My princess, thanks for your letter to me yesterday, hope you are fine. The Oath has been taking and I believe we don.t have more reason to delay this transaction. As you ask me in your mail to me what and what do I need you to bring as you are coming, any thing house property you know will be good for Africa, and you can bring them as you come.

You know we Africa, we need many things to hold our self as Africans. My princess I forward the Oath yesterday but I find out the massage returns back but I.m now forwarding it again and also a copy to you. I have change in the account information for the payment, because my partner who owns the account is out from the country and will be back in two weeks time which I don.t need to wait for him before marking the claim.

(This is the new account information.s)
ACCOUNT NAME . AGHAMELU IBETO PETER
BANK NAME . BANQUE COMMERCIALE DU BURKINA FASO (BCB)
ACCOUNT NUMBER... 01415600 3926
SWIFT BNCF BFBF
OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO

My princess we need to give the officials some gift and the number of the officials are 4 in number which I suggest you come down with some gift e.g.
4 hand set
4 wrist watch

This is for us to have any type of assistance that we need from them as soon as you come down to Ghana. If I'm to forward the new account information myself to your casher, then you can let me know or I advice you forward the new account information your self to your casher.

NOTE / I have forward the Oath once again and it comes back for that reason I will forward it to you for you to assist me and forward to Mr. Barry More. Remember as I said I forwarded the Oath yesterday and it return back and today again the same thing happen for that reason I advice you assist and forward it to Mr. Barry More now.

Thanks and will be waiting for your urgent reply.

Hon Barrister. Hali.

HRH Princess Margaret Dear Jita

Many thanks for completing the Oath of Temporary Allegiance, and I am waiting for Mr Barrymore's acute feedback on what has been submitted. We have noticed, however, that there is no photograph attached, as per instruction? This is a vital element.

Can you rectify this omission at once, and then I am sure things will move along swiftly. It should be 300 dpi. The sooner we get this right, old thing, the sooner you will get what is coming to you!

In the meantime i passed on your banking information to Farnes Barnes' office for actioning and no doubt he will be in contact with your Mr Oouagodongo very shortly.

Kind regards

MARGARET
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
Jita Hali
Subject: View your attachment and forward to Her Royal Highness.
Date: Tue, 21 Feb 2006

My Dear Brother,

Please I wont you to inform Her Royal Highness to delete some of the massage in her box because I have been sending massages to her and it return back which she need to empty her box. Forward all letter to Her Royal Highness.

Thanks and will be waiting for your urgent reply.

Hon. Barrister. Hali



[Doesn't the head look a bit small and smeary?]

Charles Farnes- Barnes 22 February 2006

My Dear Princess,

The Honourable Barrister Hali appears to have had difficulty in sending you his photograph with regard to his Temporary Oath of Allegiance.

If you are experiencing some technical problems with your e-mail, may I take this opportunity of confirming that Barrister Hali has indeed forwarded his photograph and this would now complete the procedure as far as the Oath of Allegiance is concerned.

In these circumstance, perhaps you would be gracious enough to permit me [through Mrs Tushie Meshuganah of Kreplach Brothers African Dicvision] to send Mr Hali his golden dorks.

Yours respectfully,

Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC
Chief Executive
Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC
Jita Hali
To: HRH Princess Margaret
Subject: Hi?
Date: Tue, 21 Feb 2006

Your Box is full please i advice you delete some massage in your box to allow the photo come into your box.

Hon Barrister Hali.
HRH Princess Margaret Dear Jita

I will attend to this at once. It is important that this matter is resolved as soon as possible as I have people standing by. Kindly ensure your image is a good one with no blurry detail or distracting native costumery.

MARGARET
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
Jita Hali
21 Feb 2006

My Dear Princess,

With due respect and most humility, I sincerely obey to your instruction concerning the Oath. I have accordingly taken the Oath as instructed by you my highness.
I hereby implore you to instruct your subjects to comply on your instructions to commence immediately.

The more we delay is to our deferent, therefore I advice we follow this transaction serious for us to archive our aim.

Long live my princess.

Thanks for your co operation.
Hon. Barrister. Hali.

NB / The photo did not come to your box because your box is full. Delete some massage for the photo to come. I send the photo to your financial controller to forward to you.
HRH Princess Margaret Dear Jita

You may rest assured that, once all the elements of the Oath are in place, then what you deserve will be given to you and in short order, if I have any say in the matter. Now please attend to the despatch of your image and let us to work.

MARGARET
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
Charles Farnes- Barnes 22 Feb

Dear Hali,

I have sent you a copy of the e-mail I sent this morning to Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret, Duchess of Great Tesco which advises her that you have mailed the required photograph.

I am sure that Her Royal Highness will now authorise the payment of your golden dorks. However, may I remind you that to complete this business you must contact Mrs Tushie Meshuganah of our Africa Division - x.xxxxxxxx@xxxxxxx.com - who will release this substantial sum of money to the bank account you have nominated.

However, may I take this opportunity to remind you that when you contact Mrs Meshuganah you must give her the reference number given by my colleague Stanley Muswell-Hill in his e-mail of February 16th. If you have inadvertiently deleted this e-mail from your records, please contact me and I will resend it to you. But be advised that I can only resend this important number only once.

With kindest regards,
Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC
Jita Hali
Subject: I'm Waiting From Hon. Barrister Hali.
Date: Wed, 22 Feb 2006

My Dear Mrs. Tushie Meshuganah,
I was instructed to contact you for my payment, which you can confirm from Her Royal Highness without delay. As soon as you make the payment, forward the payment informations to me. The Total sum to be paid is 1.250 dorks.
(CODE . FU 69419666/ BF/ U)
Thanks and will be waiting for your reply.
Hon. Barrister Hali
Tushie Meshuganah 22 February 2006

Dear Hon. Barrister Hali,

Thank you for your e-mail.

I have received confirmation from Her Royal Highness that 1,250 golden dorks should be sent to you without further delay.

Unfortunately we have a technical problem with our computers and I shall not be able to make any international transfers until tomorrow morning.
So sorry but be assured that you will receive what you are due.
Yours truly,

Tushie
Jita Hali
To: Charles Farnes-Barnes
Subject: Thanks for your assistance.
Date: Wed, 22 Feb 2006

My Dear Brother,

How are you and your family? Hope all is fine. Thanks once again for your assistance into the Oath and my God will also assist you. This is my letter to Mrs. Tushie Meshuganah.

Thanks and will be waiting for your reply.

Hon. Barrister Hali.

................................

My Dear Mrs. Tushie Meshuganah,
I was instructed to contact you for my payment, which you can confirm from Her Royal Highness without delay. As soon as you make the payment, forward the payment informations to me. The Total sum to be paid is 1.250 dorks.
(CODE ..... FU 69419666/ BF/ U)
Thanks and will be waiting for your reply.
Hon. Barrister Hali
....................................

(ACCOUNT INFORMATION)
ACCOUNT NAME .. AGHAMELU IBETO PETER
BANK NAME...... BANQUE COMMERCIALE DU BURKINA FASO (BCB)
ACCOUNT NUMBER. 01415600 3926
SWIFT........ BNCF BFBF
OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO
Charles Farnes- Barnes Dear Barrister,

Thank you for your e-mail and copy of the letter to Tushie. I am pleased to say that my family is fine and I trust that you and your wives and children are also in the best of health.

Your dorks will be transferred to your nominated bank account as soon as possible. Unfortunately we are having some problems with our computers but I am sure Tushie will send the cash as soon as possible.

Incidentally if you have any further such fortuitous opportunities do contact one or both of our leading clients, Mr William Bunter at xxxxxxx@xxxxxx.com or the Scottish nobleman His Excellency The Thane of Cawdor at xxxxxxxx@xxx-xxxxxxx.com

Remain blessed,
Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC
Jita Hali
22 Feb 2006

My Dear Princess,

I can.t understand your massage this morning, I have been trying to send you the photo, but your box can not carry the photo because of the weight of the photo. For that reason I have to forward the photo to your financial controller to forward it to you which I believe he did so.

My Princess, note that this is business between me and you and not over involving people into the transaction and let all my effort not to be for nothing because I know my involvements just to make you to be happy with me and for the trust.

I believe your financial controller has confirmed to you that I have forwarded the photo to him.

Thanks and will be waiting for your letter of approval.

Hon. Barrister. Hali.
HRH Princess Margaret Dear Jita

Many thanks for following this matter up. I am not sure what was the matter with my in box as there is plenty of space. Anyhow, now that we have had your charming image, we shall press on with this matter. By the way, have you answered the one or two small queries that Sir Charles had for you?

MARGARET
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
Jita Hali
22 Feb 2006

My Dear Princess,

Please i wont to inform you that i will be contacting Mrs. Tushie Meshuganah with my code number given to me and also my account information.

My princess, please i will advice you inform Mrs. Tushie, the amount to be paid into the account because of the extra 250 dorks you instructed them to add to my payment marking the total sum of 1250 dorks.

Thanks and will be waiting for your approval letter to me and to Mrs. Tushie.

Hon. Barrister. Hali.
HRH Princess Margaret Dear Jita

This is excellent news. From what I hear, the dorks will be sent out shortly. Is there anything else you would like, perhaps a pair of impermeable kyak shorts as a gesture of good will?

MARGARET
Henry Quelch 23 February 2006

Dear Barrister Hali,

I regret to inform you that Mrs Tushie Meshuganah is unwell. However she will return to the office at 9.30GMT and she has told me that she will transfer your cash as her first priority.

Incidentally, would you prefer our currency exchange division to change the dorks into sterling, euros or US dollars ? It would probably be less expensive than giving this job to your local bank. At present your dorks are worth US$4,419 - less our 2% commission.

At the same time perhaps you would like to reconfirm which account you wish the cash to be placed ? You have previously sent Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes the names of three accounts. I presume you want to use the account in your last e-mail to Mrs Meshuganah - apologies if this seems unnecessary but our philosophy here is that it is always worth double-checking!

Yours sincerely,

HENRY QUELCH
CHIEF CASHIER
AFRICA DIVISION
KREPLACH BROTHERS MERCHANT BANK INTERNATIONAL PLC
Jita Hali
Subject: I'm waiting.
Date: Thu, 23 Feb 2006

Dear Mr. Henry Quelch,

How are you and your family? Hope all is fine. I will be waiting for the payment. Based on you question, you can change the dorks into sterling. My Dear I will also like to find out if the payment is made, how long will I receive the payment?

Thanks,

Hon. Barrister Hali.
Henry Quelch 24 FEBRUARY 2006

Dear Barrister,

Thank you for your e-mail. My civil partner and I are very well thank you. I trust you and your wives are also in the best of health.

However, I am sorry to say that Mrs Tushie Meshuganah has influenza and will not be returning to the office until next week and so I shall handle this transaction in her absence.

In answer to your questions:

1. At this precise moment in time your golden dorks are worth .2,320 - I have already subtracted our bank charges. You must negotiate with the Banque Commerciale du Burkino Faso as to what charges they might make. In strict confidence, I would advise you not to pay more than .25 for any service they might provide.

2. This money will be transferred to your nominated account later today and it should be in this account by 11.00am on Monday 27 February,2006.

I do not anticipate any problems but if the cash does not arrive by the time your Bank closes on Monday [one must allow for the time difference between Europe and West Africa] please let me know - preferably by telephone s a matter of urgency.

Yours sincerely,

HENRY QUELCH
Chief Cashier
Africa Division
Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC

(Mr Quelch was Billy Bunter's long suffering form master)

Jita Hali
23 Feb 2006

My Dear Princess,

How are you and your family? Hope all is fine. Based on your question, I have concluded all that you're wont from me with your financial controller which I believe he is satisfy with all my answers before given me the go ahead to forward my account information for the payment.

I once again my princess, thank you for the effort from your side. As you know, we need many things as Africans and will advice you send anything useful to me, as much as you can.

NOTE / I will advice you make your journey to Africa as soon as I finish the paper work.

Thanks and will get back to you as soon as the payment is made. One questions my princess, how long will I expect the money into my nominated bank account for me to know the system to hold on the bank official before the paper work will be through.

Hon. Barrister Hali.
HRH Princess Margaret Dear Jita

My apologies on our tardiness in processing this matter, I understand that there has been an unexpected round of illness at our bankers, and several key staff are unfortunately off at this crucial time which must be aggrievating for you to say the least when matters are so close. However rest assured that all is in hand. I have asked our Royal Physician Dr Shipman to give it his highest priority and he assures me that he hopes to have patients finished off shortly.

MARGARET
Jita Hali
Date: Fri, 24 Feb 2006

My Dear Mr. Henry Quelch,

NOTE / this money is for me to handle some work for Her Royal Higness and I will not be happy for me to abandom some of my duties because of this work and up to this time no payment but from one reason to another.

I don't know what to say for now because I have not receive any payment and have nothing to say. I only advice you contact Her Royal Higness for Her to know that you people has been delaying the payment with one reason and another.

I believe you can handle the transaction and hope you will do it fine and will be no problem. I'm a lawyer and don't have much time for sending massage all the time fro that reason, I will be waiting for the payment information because the more you delay the payment from your side, the more time it will take before receiving.

Hon. Barrister Hali.
Henry Quelch 24 February 2006

Dear Barrister,

I think our e-mails must have crossed in the ether! Did you not receive my e-mail this morning which tells you how much and when you will receive what is due to you ?

Enjoy Your Weekend,

Yours truly,
HENRY QUELCH
Dr. Harold Shipman To: jitahali55@yahoo.com
CC: HRH Princess Margaret
Date: Fri, 24 Feb

Dear Barrister Jitters

You may not know me sir, but I am Physician Royal to the House of Windsor. I write to you in my professional capacity, indeed more out of a sense of professional duty than anything else. I am told by Her Majesty that you are in process of undertaking communicable business from Sir Farnes Barnes' office, and wished to temper enthusiasm for this matter, specifically if it will involve any skin contact. The recent outbreak of Meningitus Vimtos has meant the unfortunate lay off of several staff there, and some not inconsiderable health precautions have become obligatory to us all.

While there is little or no real danger, it would be advisable if any items received from his office recently or in the near future were dealt with extreme caution, perhaps dipping them in vinegar and burning any unneccesary wrapping or enclosures.

If you need any advice on simple hygene routines based around viral elimination and the dangers of infections of this sort, please do not hesitate to get back in contact.

Kind regards

HAROLD

Dr Harold Shipman FRCS,
Physician Royal
69 Styx Crossings
Smegaroon
London
UR1 GIT
44 1223 3303
Charles Farnes- Barnes 25 February 2006

Dear Barrister Hali,

Fortunately I came into my office this morning and I have read Dr Shipman's letter to you.

I don't believe there is any real cause of concern although Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret has taken the precaution of being vaccinated. Nevertheless if you find yourself suffering from any stomach or chest pains, I would suggest that you seek genuine medical advice and do not attempt any cure from witchdoctors.

Incidentally, I understand from Henry Quelch that your golden dorks on the way. No need to confirm their arrival as your bank will give notice of the transfer. However, if the dorks are not in the nominated account by Tuesday morning do contact Henry on his personal mobile: 07811320544.

Yours sincerely,

SIR CHARLES FARNES-BARNES VC
Chief Executive
Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC
Jita Hali
To: Henry Quelch
Subject: I'm waiting for the payment slip.
Date: Mon, 27 Feb 2006

Dear Mr. Henry,

How are you and your family? Hope all is fine. Remember I requested for the payment slip or payment information that you made to my nominated account.

As you can see, the payment slip is very important to send to me because I need it to present to the bank before realizing the money to me.

Thanks and will be waiting for the payment slip.

Hon. Barrister Hali.
Henry Quelch 27 February 2006

Dear Hon Barrister Hali,

Thank you for your e-mail of today's date.

I believe that my boss, Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC, at Kreplach Brothers head office in London, has e-mailed you about some problems we have experienced. However,all being well, your cash should arrive tomorrow [Tuesday] morning by 11.am at the latest.

As Sir Charles has told you, if there is any problem LET ME KNOW IMMEDIATELY preferably on my personal mobile phone 07811320544 or by e-mail.

Both Sir Charles and my colleague Tushie Meshuganah are out of the office this week and I am in sole charge of this transaction.

Yours truly,
HENRY QUELCH
Deputy Chief Cashier
Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC
Edinburgh
Scotland
Jita Hali
To: Charles Farnes-Barnes
Subject: How Is Your Family?
Date: Mon, 27 Feb 2006

My Dear Friend,

How are you and your family? Hope all is fine with you. I receive your letter and will advice you as a good friend to know that in anything transaction, not any email that comes to you, that you will follow up and I advice any email you receive that you did not know anything about the person, you have to delete the email out of your box or forward it to me as your attorney in Africa, I will handle the situation.

NOTE / in your position, not all the email you receive that you will follow it up and you don・t even have to give time for that then to look over it because sometime, this type of email comes from the bank investigation department which you don・t have to reply or invite any police into that than to forward the email to me and I will take the action myself as Her Royal Highness Attorney in Africa.

Remember that is one of my duties to Her Royal Highness. My Dear, I requested for the payment slip but is like the bank has some problem which I don・t know how we are going to do it.

Hon. Barrister Hali.
Stanley Muswell-Hill 27 February 2006 .

Dear Barrister, .

As stated in his latest e-mail to you, Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC and Mrs Tushie Meshuganah are out of the office all week. .

All queries with regard to our transaction are being handled by Mr Henry Quelch, Deputy Chief Cashier of our Africa Division in Edinburgh. Please contact him on his personal mobile phone 07811320544 or via his e-mail..

Yours truly,
Stanley Muswell-Hill, Deputy Chief Executive, Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC
Jita Hali
To: Princess Margaret
Subject: From Hon. Barrister Jita Hali. I DID NOT EXPECT THIS FROM YOU.
Date: Fri, 24 Feb 2006.

Princess, .

Please this is the letter I receive from Mr.Harold, and I don't know him why most him write me? I have finish all the things you wont me to do, why all this letter from again? .

If you can not make this payment for the work I have to do for you, you just let me know because this is more than what I expected from you..

You are not following this transaction as a princess. Note that I'm not going to reply to any letter from anybody from this time if you won't us to go ahead, instruct them to make the payment. If the payment can not be made, I advice no body should write me again, because I'm ok with all this stories. Is like you dont know i'm a lawyer. .

HON. Barrister Hali..

..........................................................................
(LETTER FROM MR. HAROLD WHICH I WILL NOT REPLY HIM).

Dear Barrister Jitters

You may not know me sir, but I am Physician Royal to the House of Windsor. I write to you in my professional capacity, indeed more out of a sense of professional duty than anything else. I am told by Her Majesty that you are in process of undertaking communicable business from Sir Farnes Barnes' office, and wished to temper enthusiasm for this matter, specifically if it will involve any skin contact.
HRH Princess Margaret Dear Mr Hali

Please do not be alarmed. I am sure that Dr Shipman only has your best interests at heart. Given the serious nature of the outbreak in our offices here (and the necessity of keeping all but the most vague details from the good doctor) I am not surprised that he felt he was bound to do his duty and I know that, characteristically, he likes to see each case in his charge to its end. Rest assured that this matter remains completely confidential, in practically every respect.

MARGARET
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC,
Jita Hali
Date: Fri, 24 Feb 2006

To Her Royal Highness,

This is letter from Mr. Henry today after that I have not received any massage of payment all I receive is one story to another. Please if you don't won't us to go ahead, kindly inform me then all is delay system from your side.

If I know that you can not handle this from the beginning, I could have made another choice. Because what I'm experiencing form your side in this business, is not of my expectation. From one point to another and remember I told you any other stage more than this, I will know that you are not for this business.

Thanks.
HRH Princess Margaret Dear Barr Jita

Oh dear, I have been away for the Annual Bison Shoot at Edinburgh Butlins and have come back to so many messages from you! I am quite concerned that you appear so flustered. Surely matters could not be more straightforward?

Do you have the money yet or not? If not, please let my people know.

MARGARET
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
Jita Hali
To: Princess Margaret
Subject: Are inn or out?
Date: Fri, 24 Feb 2006

Princess,

Your people promise to send money yesterday, but did not and also promise today what is the time? If one person is not in the bank, we have other who can transfer money.

I dont like doing business with woman but i look at you position and i believe you can handle this. But i dont know why all the time, from. One reason to another. I know what it cost. me to do all this with you and i know the amount you wont to send to me and the amount the bank will remove from the money. I'm doing all this to keep that relationship with you.

Hon. Barrister Jita Hali.
HRH Princess Margaret Barr Jita,

Please do not bombard me with these type of messages, the tone of which I can only ascribe to the heat or some exciteable overindulgence at your end. They do nothing to advance your cause, and I find them a little aggrievating, given the nature of the business in hand. My staff are doing their best with this matter, handicapped as explained by illness and, it must be said, your own lack of facility.

MARGARET
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC,
Jita Hali
To: Princess Margaret
Subject: I'm waiting.
Date: Fri, 24 Feb 2006

My Dear Princess,

(LETTER FROM MR. HENRY)

Dear Barrister,

I think our e-mails must have crossed in the ether! Did you not receive my e-mail this morning which tells you how much and when you will receive what is due to you ?

Enjoy Your Weekend,

Yours truly,
HENRY QUELCH
HRH Princess Margaret Hali

Why are you copying me in on this? Is it not meant for you?

I am confused.

MARGARET
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
Jita Hali
Subject: I THANK GOD YOU ARE BACK.
Date: Mon, 27 Feb 2006

My Dear Princesse,

Thank GOD you are back because ant time you are in town, your staffs can not follow this business the way you will do if you are in town. Mr. Henry said he has made the payment past Friday. He also sends me an email that I will receive the money by tomorrow in my country.

I advice him to forward me the payment information which I have not receive any payment slip from him.

My princess, don't misunderstand my email is only that this business has been from one person to another which sometime if I did not receive your letter, is like you are no more following this transaction. But as you are back, I'm happy to receive your letter. Any time I receive your letter, I always be happy and also know that you are following up this transaction.

This transaction is for me and you also I will not be happy to do this transaction with anybody without you. Remember you are my princess.

NOTE / I have not received any money but Mr. Henry promise me that the money will get to my nominated bank account by tomorrow.

I will be waiting for your reply. Have a good day.

Hon. Barrister Hali.
HRH Princess Margaret Dear Barr Jita

After considering recent events over some champagne and truffles with the Duke of Wellington tonight, I must admit I have been feeling rather alarmed on your behalf at the level of service that you have received from us. Althrough no fault of our own, the recent sickness and absenteeism here has, I imagine, left rather a poor impression. After some consideration, I have come to the opinion that some gesture of good would be in order, this naturally in addition the dorks which you now await so imminently.

We would therefore be much obliged if you might consider a gesture of good will, and suggest that we order a fine quality suit for you from the royal tailors, Cack & Chavster. If this proves acceptable, then I can ask Mr Tossov, our chief tailor, to get in contact and obtain the necessary measurements from you immediately. I imagine that with his kindly expertise you would soon be the envy of your village when any fine garments arrive.

Please let me know if this is of interest and I will hasten to instigate matters this end.

Kindest regards

MARGARET
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
Henry Quelch 28 February 2006

Dear Barrister Hali,

I am delighted to inform you that the Banque Commercial du Burkino Faso has informed us that your payment has arrived safely and that you may collect it at your convenience.

Simply bring in your passport and quote the reference number given you by Mrs Tushie Meshuganah.

Please accept our sincere apologies for the delays in completing this transaction.

Yours truly,
HENRY QUELCH
Deputy Chief Cashier
Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International plc
Jita Hali
Subject: PAYMENT SLIP NEEDED URGENT.
Date: Tue, 28 Feb 2006

Dear Mr. Henry,

Thanks for your letter today. How are you with your family? Hope all is fine. Please my bank this morning, said that the money have not arrive to the account and also ask for the payment slip for them to know the position of the money.

Please this is Africa and we have our own system of everything we do for that reason, I requested for the payment slip from the day you send this money and I don't know why you don't won't to realise the payment slip to me.

The time you use in writing me, is the time you will use to send the payment slip. I don't wont to be calling my bank every time disturbing them of confirming the payment.

If you know that you made the payment to me, go ahead and send me the payment slip without delay because I will not follow the money up without you sending the payment slip to me ok.

I'm a lawyer; I know rules and will like to follow them as it has to be. Mr. Henry, this is not my first time of receiving money from the bank and from the time I have been receiving money to today I have not been to the bank to collect money with passport or reference number given by Mrs. Tushie Meshuganah. All this are long procedures that I have never come across hope you know my profession that if this is the normal procedures, I will know before this time.

I'm forwarding this letter to Her Royal Highness. You only have to send me the payment slip and allow me to know the way to collect the money.

Once again if you did not send the payment slip, I will not follow the payment up ok.

Hon. Barrister Hali.
Hugh Janus 28 February 2006

Dear Barrister,

Mr Quelch is at a meeting this afternoon and has asked me to answer his correpondence whilst he is away from his desk.

The cash has reached your bank - will it suffice to send a copy of the payment slip by e-mail ? If so, I can do that very quickly.

Yours truly,
HUGH JANUS
Cashier
Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC
Jita Hali
Subject: From Hon. Barrister Hali.
Date: Fri, 24 Feb 2006

My Dear Mr. Henry Quelch,

NOTE / this money is for me to handle some work for Her Royal Higness and I will not be happy for me to abandom some of my duties because of this work and up to this time no payment but from one reason to another.

I don't know what to say for now because I have not receive any payment and have nothing to say. I only advice you contact Her Royal Higness for Her to know that you people has been delaying the payment with one reason and another.

I believe you can handle the transaction and hope you will do it fine and will be no problem. I'm a lawyer and don't have much time for sending massage all the time fro that reason, I will be waiting for the payment information because the more you delay the payment from your side, the more time it will take before receiving.

Hon. Barrister Hali.
Cuthbert Ngoblah 28 february 2006

Dear Mr Hali,

My name is Cuthbert Ngoblah and I am the Divisional Head of Internet Security for the Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International Africa Department. The cashier, Mr Hugh Janus, was about to send you a payment slip for 1,250 dorks held in escrow for you by ourselves and the Bank Commercial du Burkino Faso but I have intercepted his e-mail and ordered this slip and the payment to be temporarily stopped until the situation has been fully cleared by my office.

As Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC informed you, we have undertaken a thorough investigation of all e-mail correspondence over the last few days following an audacious attempt to steal money from one of the Bank's customers.

During this investigation we have ascertained that your e-mails are not coming from Burkino Faso but from Nigeria. Now the new technology with which we work is not 100% accurate - and there may be a perfectly acceptable reason why you are e-mailing us from Nigeria.

Nevertheless, if you want me to unblock the cash and payment slip, please inform me as to:

a/ From where you are e-mailing Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International.

b/ If you are in Nigeria, why are you asking for payment to be made in Burkino Faso.

Yours faithfully,
CUTHBERT NGOBLAH
Divisional Head of Security [Africa Division]
Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International plc
HRH Princess Margaret Dear Mr Hali,
My name is Cuthbert Ngoblah and I am the Divisional Head of Internet Security for the Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International Africa Department...


Dear Barr Jita

Many thanks for forwarding this letter to me, but I was already aware of this problem. These security chappies use processes entirely beyond me, but I imagine they know of what they speak.

Are these facts true? What can be done about it? I am little confused as to the implications,

By the way, I have spoken to our Mr Tossov and he is ready to start work on a nice suit for you as per my previous message.

Do you prefer an elasticated or belted waist on the pants?

MARGARET
Jita Hali
To: Princess Margaret
Subject: My reply.
Date: Wed, 1 Mar 2006

My Dear Princess,

With most reqard, I write this misive to you. What is all this complications and imbarassment coming to me from your so called chaps? Why must I be subjected to ridicule just because I chose you to assist me in this transaction. You have made me to undergone so many things which I least expected in this transaction but to my gratest dismay you are not yet satisfied, why?. I have taken the Oath of alligiance to prove my sincerity in this transaction hoping that by this time we might have trusted ourselves, we supposed to have gone far in this business but every day comes one development or the other, why?.

I received a amssage from the bank security Head Cuthbert Ngoblah accusing me of denying my identity as a Nigerian I wonder how he came about that, that I'm writing from Nigeria and wanting to collect the money in Burkina Faso. Why are people making jest of themselves? He is a security and does not know the Computer PC of Burkina Faso and that of Nigeria as you know my telephone international code is identifying me as a burkinabe. Why don't he call me immidiately with my number to find out if I'm in Nigeria or Burkina Faso.

My Princess, you should do your investigation and if you find out that there is anything connecting Nigeria or any other part of the world in this transaction, i advice you call it quit and stop this transaction but if nothing is complicating by side, I also advice you to find yourself a competent security who knows his job. Once again, I'm a Bukinabe and has nothing to do with a Nigerian. I cant even expose this transaction to anybody how much more a Nigerian. Why then must i be tagged as a Nigerian.i can not seek for any assistance from a Nigerian as far as this transaction is concern.

My Princess, befroe I contacted you in this transaction I have spent a lot of money procuring some documents regarding this transaction. If it is because of your 1250.00 Dorks I will not contact you or anybody in this transaction but a for a personality like you, who can handle this fortune without questioning. From the day I contacted you in this transaction, I have been answering one question to another from one person to another like a student just to know what you and your staffs are up to but I can see that even to the last person who introduce himself as head of security, don't even know his job.

I advice you, forward this letter to your head of security for you to proof my word before any action based on this transaction. Once more if you can not handle this transaction yourself, i don't have time to reply any more letter from unknown person. I don't have much to say than if you are for this transaction, you know what to do and the instructuion to pass to your staffs.

My Princess, once more advice your staffs not to write me any more because my Chamber is not an odinary office, all I do in my office are been recorded even the email I send out or the one I received all the day.

NOTE / I believe with this all this embarassment will stop and let us move ahead and archive our aim.

Long Live My Princess.

Hon. Barrister Hali.
HRH Princess Margaret Dear Barr Hali

I much appreciate this detailed account of your frustrations, and believe me when I say that no one is keener to see you get what is coming to you than I. Unfortunately, we have had some internal problems here, what with the recent outbreak and whatnot as I think you have been made aware, which has considerably slowed down our good intentions.

You will appreciate that with business of this type, where issues can easily arise, how keen we are to see that matters are pursued properly - most importantly with none of the third world irregularities common to native commerce. Let us work together and achieve the end which we both dearly want.

I am concerned that you do not wish any further communication from our staff when they are instructed to help you in this delicate matter. Please elucidate. Are you saying that security is an issue at your end? You mention being recorded and watched. I hope our discussions remain discreet, as I would not want them spread all over the web.

MARGARET
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
Jita Hali
Date: Tue, 28 Feb 2006

Dear Mr. Hugh,

Thanks for your response, I will be happy to receive the payment slip so you go ahead and send it without delay because my bank will not allow me to claim the money without the payment slip.

NOTE / This are Africa and we have rule and regulations guiding every institution. Dear send it through my attachment file as soon as.

Thanks, and I will be waiting.

Hon. Barrister Hali.
Hugh Janus Dear Barrister

I am sending you the slip which you should present at your bank for payment.

Yours truly,
HUGH JANUS
Tushie Meshuganah Subject: Jita Bug
Date: March 1, 2006

Your Royal Highness

I have returned to the office this afternoon to find a most confused state of affairs regarding The Hon. Barrister Hali. After checking with Mr Cuthbert Ngoblah of Security, I now find that Mr Hali is indeed e-mailing from Burkino Faso and that Mr Ngoblah's suspicions were unfounded.

To be fair, in his e-mail to The Hon Barrister Hali, Mr Ngoblah DID stress that the tracking technology was not yet 100% foolproof but I can understand Mr Hali's distress at receiving Mr Ngoblah's e-mail.

May I suggest that we now mail the Hon Hali an extra 250 golden dorks - making 1,500 in all - to compensate him for all the problems he has experienced in his dealings with us.

I am copying this note to Mr Hali as I am sure you will agree to this proposal.

Please let me have your decision as soon as possible so that Mr Hali can receive his payment slip and cash tomorrow [Thursday] afternoon.

Yours sincerely,
TUSHIE MESHUGANAH
Chief Cashier
Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC
Africa Division
HRH Princess Margaret Dear Tushie
This sounds an excellent idea as Barr Jita no doubt has a less than excellent opinion of this whole affair. I have perforce offered him some tailoring in lieu of good will, although I have yet to hear back on this offer, and this extra little something will I am sure go some way to further make amends.

Please give my regards to Dr Shipman who I saw only yesterday, just as he was finishing off a case.

MARGARET
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes, VC 1 March 2006

Your Royal Highness and fellow Scambaiters,
Jita has got the jitters - or ants in his pants as our American cousins are wont to say - and the letter from Cuthbert Ngoblah, our Head of Security, might push the little runt over the edge.
However, even if he now backs off we kept the little runt busy for five weeks which is, I believe, a good excuse as any for champagne at Annie's Bar tomorrow night.
But please make an excuse if Camilla wants to join us - it becomes just too embarrassing when she attempts to drag Sir Marmite into the powder roon for a snog.

Yours ever
Charles
Charles Farnes- Barnes 2 March 2006

Dear Barrister Hali,

I have returned to the office and I am shocked to see that the simple transaction of transferring golden dorks to you has been badly mismanaged.

Well, as we say in Smegaroon, if you want something doing, the only way is to do it yourself - and I am enclosing the payment slip which you should take to your bank immediately to release the money.

Do not forget to take your passport and the reference number given you by Tushie Meshuganah when you visit the bank.

Yours sincerely,
Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes



Jita Hali
To: Princess Margaret
Subject: Who do you think you are doing this with?
Date: Mon, 6 Mar 2006

Hi Her Royal Highness,

Thanks for delaying my time and for allowing your staffs to play with this chamber. But I want you to know that one good thing deserve another. You're so called Mr. Charles send to me what he called payment information and ask me to go to the bank and claim the money from last week Thursday up to today, my bank have not receive any money in my nominated bank account given to you people.

I can with this understand that you and your staffs are not for this transaction. I made a big mistake by chosen you into this business and disappoint other good people who are interested to do this with me just because of the trust I have on you and the personality I think you are.

I can not go to my bank again for this because my bank let me understand the type of people you are and also my bank make me to understand that no any payment made by you people. My bank goes ahead and advice I to collect the receipt of payment to proof that your staffs or what ever you may call them made the payment. Remember you give your staffs this chance and I don't have to blame them but you because you are the head of this entire problem.

I have received embracement from my bank for the past one week. For that reason I promise my self not to go to my bank again because of that money you want to pay which is not up to money that a good fearing man of GOD can give out for dogs in his house to feed on them. For you to know that you are doing business with a chamber not ordinary office, I will not go to any bank again to receive the payment, if you are interested in this transaction and you want to do this with me, go ahead and send this money through western union money transfer or you forget it because I did not see any truth in you people.

Hon. Barrister Hali.
HRH Princess Margaret 06 Mar

Dear Barr Hali

I am alarmed by the tone of urgency and desperation of your message, especially as I know that wheels are turning at this end, and all the necessary modalities are being taken in hand.

Rest assured that I have spoken to my representatives only this morning, this after my weekly polo game with Sir Marmite, and I am told that everything you deserve to get is imminent. I am simply amazed that nothing has reached you via the regular, banking route so far. May I ask you, or (if you are too busy at the goat market or what ever), a wife to double check this matter?

As for sending money by Western Union, this may prove somewhat of a sticking point, after all any old native johnny could turn up and collect the funds, I would have thought. Security is our watchword, don't you know.

Please let me know if there is definitely no arrival of funds and I will chase matters further at this end.

Incidentally Mr Tossov is still standing by with your pants. Do you wish this or not? He cannot spare the time much more if you are less than enthusiastic for the outfit we suggest

Kindest regards
MARGARET
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
 .. and waiting ..... and waiting ......
Jita Hali
To: Princess Margaret
Subject: I'm waiting.
Date: Fri, 3 Mar 2006

My Dear Princess,

How are you and your family? Hope all is fine. With due respect to your person, I write this missive to you. I came back from my journey, I saw your mail, after going through I was highly delighted, impressed and my lost confidence was immediately recovered. You have proved to me beyond reasonable doubt that you are solidly behind me in this our life time opportunity despite all the embarrassment coming from your subjects in their imaginations.

Now that the ball is set rolling it is necessary we observe the rules of the game. Thanks you once again for restoring my hope and aspiration in this transaction. My Princess, the right time is come for us to exactly know what we are doing, the conditionality of this transaction is the success. Till date, no body except you knows what we are doing even my secretary or any body in my chambers know anything concerning this transaction. I would advice you make yourself more tactical in involving your staffs, for I can see the inquisitiveness in some of them.

I want to bring to your notice that the payment slip from Mr. Charles, your financial controller has gotten to my end however; it is yet to be confirmed. As soon as I confirmed, I will get back to you should there be any development because from my past experience, I can only believe the transfer only when my bank confirm that yes the payment is made. My Princess indicate me when exactly is the payment made because the payment information did not come with date which I can understand this.

My princess, for your information any document from the bank or from my side to you as your attorney most not be read by any body, it must be confidential to the core. You must send it to me to know exactly what is it for and advice you on what to do in other to avoid mistakes. Remember we have agreed to walk together in this deal and the yard stick to this transaction is secrecy. Note, in one of your recent mail to me, you reminded me of the same issue. My princess, regarding your good gesture offered to me, I want to secure some vital documents regarding this transaction before putting any request, that is to say to be sure of what am doing.

Soonest, I will send my measurements and for the used house equipments, you can send them at your conducive time because I need them because here in Africa, they are new.

Thanks and will be waiting for your reply.

Hon. Barrister Hali.
Jita Hali
To: Princess Margaret
Subject: No progress from your side.
Date: Mon, 6 Mar 2006

Hi Her Royal Highness,

If you can not handle this business, i advice you back it of and let me know because i can see that you people from London, don't value us from Africa.

Before I accepted taking the Oath of your office, you said that anytime I finish the Oath of your office, that you people can send me money through western union money transfer. Now I have down all that you want and the little money you promise, you can not send it. Every time I keep asking my bank of this money are you the only people who have been transferring money through bank? Why yours will be different?

My BANK LET ME UNDERSTAND THAT NO PAYMENT FROM YOUR SIDE AND WHY YOU AT THIS POSSITION DO THIS TYPE OF SHIT?

If you can not handle this transaction your self please let me know some people have been sending me letters for me and them to do this business, but I did not accept them just because I have already involve you into the deal. This time if you can not send money through western union money transfer, then I know you are not for real.

My bank requested for the payment receipt but your financial controller send me the payment advice what type of people are you keeping in your office that can not handle things for you? If you people made the payment, send the payment receipt and the swift code of the payment from the payment receipt, I will know who made the payment, when the payment was made, and all the information's that my bank need will be in that payment receipt for us to know if your bank is to spoil the interest of my bank or want to bad name my bank then we will know the action to take. Because my bank advice that if your bank did not make any payment and send me a payment advice that is not for real, then the bank will know what to do.

People from your office, your good friends as you think has been contacting me privately for this transaction, but because of the trust I have on you, I have not reply any of them. Once again if you can not handle this, I can look for one person among them to handle this for me, because no from the time we start this transaction with you, no progress.

Hon. Barrister Hali.
HRH Princess Margaret 06 Mar

Dear Barr Jita

I am greatly distressed that messages concerning this business should have taken an abrupt descent into such bad language. I took you for a gentleman and find this most new manner most unbecoming of one.

If you really cannot keep a civil tongue in your head then I shall instruct those on my side to cease all arrangements forthwith. This is not some sort of native shouting match. Such vocabulary might well be accustomed when arguing over a round of gin in some bawdy house, but is unacceptable here. We are doing our best to see you get what is coming to you, but with this attitude we are tempted to think again, sir.

MARGARET
Jita Hali
To: Princess Margaret
Subject: Hi My Princess?
Date: Tue, 7 Mar 2006

Hi Her Royal Highness,

Thanks for all your doings and will be waiting for the next action. I'm a gentle man as you said but you must have to understand that when things is going the way you did not expect it, you have to take some steeps to know what is going on.

I wish one day you will know me and you will never regret to know me. I wait for your action, but note what you want to send to me is for something not for my own personal uses.

NOTE / Your staffs will not bring misunderstanding between me and you because all I'm referring is to your staffs not you which you know that your staffs has been taking this chamber for granted which you know what it is all about.

Hon. Barrister Hali.
HRH Princess Margaret 07 Mar

Dear Barrister Hali

I regret we will not be able to proceed with you in this business, at least unless I receive a full and frank apology for your previous intemperate outburst. I was quite upset by your crude remarks.

MARGARET
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
Charles Farnes- Barnes 08 Mar
Your Gracious Majesty,
I am amazed that this little scoundrel is still pushing his luck.
Yours humbly,
Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC
Charles Farnes- Barnes 8 March 2006

Dear Hali,

I was astounded to read the rude e-mail you sent to Her Gracious Majesty Princess Margaret, Duchess of Great Tesco.

The money and payment slip you asked for has been sent to you. If your bank has mislaid the cash or are you trying to trick us into sending a second tranche of golden dorks ?

Unless I receive an apology/explanation from you the Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank will advise Her Royal Highness to have nothing further to do with you.

Yours faithfully,
Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC
Jita Hali
To: Princess Margaret
Subject: Hi My Princess?
Date: Tue, 7 Mar 2006

My Dear Princess,

How are you and your family, Hope all is fine. With deep regrate, I once again taken this step in writing you. First of all, apologies to you for the letter you receive from me. I mostly respected your diginity. But to my gratest astonishment you made me to be seeptical even in laying my confidence in you.

My princess, in my last mail I remembered my word which says, that the ball is set rolling, and we must abide with the rules guiding it. Why is it that since you promise assisting with this token 1250 dorks, they have been ups and down from your end? What wrong have you find out at my end here? I want to say you should forget any other assistance and come down and see things for yourself. I'm saying this because I felt the money you promise is too big for you to send to me.

You and your subjects have disregarded my diginity and subjected me to wothingness which I can not tolorate from anybody if not a person like you. I felt you are about castigating this transaction because what I'm sencing is not what i expected from you. My princess, can yougive me a good reason that makes you not to handle this transaction yourself? Remember the great men of the bible e.g King Nebuchaanezzar who was the greatest King of his days has things he single handedly handle by himself without commiting any of his subjects.

My Princess, if you can not handle this, kindly be specific however, I contactede you because I felt you are the right person who can help me get this sum out without any suspicion.

Once again I apologies to you.

Awaiting for your reply.

Hon. Barrister Hali.
HRH Princess Margaret 08 Mar

Dear Barr Hali

Many thanks for writing and I accept your heartfelt and humble apology. But even so, you will appreciate that this whole matter has left me rather shaken and it has taken a lot of personal effort to maintain any interest at all in completing proceedings.

I will raise the matter of expediting the matter of the outstanding dorks with my bankers and hopefully things will be sorted very shortly.

Naturally I am sorry that you feel that you have been belittled and your dignity affected during this business. You can rest assured that we always aim to treat natives from whatever former colony with courtesy and restraint even when, (as has happened), they have been shown up as shabby money grabbing rogues, impinging on our good offices.

Kind regards

Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC,
Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes VC 09Mar

WHO KNOWS - PERHAPS THE BANQUE COMMERCIALE DU BURKINO FASO WILL HONOUR THE PAYMENT SLIP FROM THE KREPLACH BROTHERS MERCHANT BANK INTERNATIONAL...

AS TUSHIE MESHUGANAH SAID TO ME THE OTHER DAY:

THERE ARE MORE STRANGE THINGS IN HEAVEN AND EARTH, HORATIO, THAN ARE DEAMT OF IN YOUR PHILOSOPHY [Omlette, Act 1 Scene 5]
Jita Hali
Subject: Urgent.
Date: Mon, 01 May 2006

My Princess,

How are you once more? Hope all is fine. I forget communicating you for sometime, to enable people eye less from your side.

I can see that your coming to Africa, will bring to many eye bull which I dint want that. Now I have finished all that the bank need from your side, the money is ready to be transfer without your coming to Africa.

But this time around, I don・t need anybody to communicate with me if not you for security reason. The bank can not realize this money to another person because you have already apply as the next of kin which I accepted before the bank that you are the real next of kin to the account.

Now you are going to use another account that is your own account for the money to be transferred into the account not you crystal bank no. any bank that will involve many, don・t use it you have your own account as private us it and don・t permit anybody to write for you. If you are not in town you stop anything until you are back for security reason.

The bank will contact you anytime you forward the recipe of all your attorney did on your behalf. Because all the things I did, I did it with your name. as soon as you contact me back, I will advice you on what to do.

Hon. Barrister Jita
HRH Princess Margaret Dear Barr Hali

I am rather perplexed to receive this message. What do you mean exactly? Why exactly can I not used the tried and trusted auspices of my staff?

MARGARET
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
Jita Hali
Date: Tue, 02 May 2006

You staffs, can work for you, I did not say you should not use them as your staffs, I said that in this transfer, you are not going to use them because they are not going to do anything for us. You are going to receive the money without you coming to Africa.

You just need to forward your bank information to the bank. To enable them transfer the money to your bank account.

Thanks and will be waiting for your response as soon as.

Hon. Barrister Jita.
HRH Princess Margaret 03 May
Dear Mr Jita

What news?

MARGARET
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
Jita Hali
Date: Thu, 04 May 2006

Forward your account information to the bank to enable the bank carries on the transfer. I have finished all the documentary part of this business on your behalf.

Thanks and will be waiting for your response.

Hon. Barrister Hali.
HRH Princess Margaret 05 May

Dear Jita

You surely should have had all this already from my financial chappie, Sir Charles Farnes Barnes. Your further pestering really does you no favours at all, if I may so say.

Please double check with your gang and let us move forward with the modalities.

MARGARET
Her Royal Highness Princess Margaret VC
More to come?

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