A FRIEND IN LEED IS A FRIEND IN NEED, or, CRAZY BUTT IS BACK!

In which the kindly Tushie Meshuganah is approached by a mysterious investor who wants to give her money. The staff of the Holy Bagel Community swing into action.

[More on the Holy Bagel Community, from an independent, though loyal American viewpoint, can be found HERE.]

CAST
Roesel Kunie - first-tier scammer Lad
Dr. Don Kepping, Vice President, Leed Securities Investment, aka closer Lad
Tom Wesley, the name "Dr. K." will use to pick up the money order he hopes to scam out of Tushie
versus
Tushie Meshuganah, secretary of The Holy Bagel Community
Gay Indread, Tushie's assistant
Yuliq Mdiq, Finance Controller, The Holy Bagel Community
Joseph Kucker, Deputy Finance Manager, The Holy Bagel Community


Roesel Kunie [Although this reads like a continuation of a correspondence, it arrives out of the blue.]
Date: Sun, 28 Sep 2008

Dear Friend

I must inform you that your presence will be needed at the bank in Europe for the signing of the vital documents, of the safe depsoit box to enable the funds to be transfer to your personal account in your country.

Please promise me that this transaction will be very confidential during the time of transferring these funds from the bank in Europe.

I am urging you to send me the following information‰s immediately to enable you to have in contact with the bank and book a date with them as when you are to come over for the signing of the release order of the funds.

Info Required
1 Full names and age.
2 Contact address, phone and fax numbers
3 Occupations
4 copy of your identity

with these I will be able to forward you the contact details of the bank to enable you reach the bank and have an appointment with them.

I hope you are well informed,

God bless you.

I look forward to hearing from you again.

Kind Regards
Roesel Kunie
Tushie Meshuganah
Date: September 29, 2008

Dear Ms Kunie,

I am based in London so there is no problem in my going to Europe for any reason.

My age is 29 and I am secretary of the Holy Bagel Community. I cannot send any copies of my driving licence or passport over the internet because of the shocking number of fraudsters many of which I am ashamed to say are based in West Africa.

I myself come from Smegaroon, a small independent former British colony in the Indian Ocean.

Remain blessed,

TUSHIE MESHUGANAH http://www.freewebs.com/tushiem/
Roesel Kunie
Date: Mon, 29 Sep 2008

Dear Tushie mashuganah

Thanks for your mail.

I understand you clearly but remember I am choosing you after I have being praying for the pass one month before I get in contact with you. So I have all the trust in you to carry out my wish in good faith.

Therefore nothing to worry about as far you follow all instructions from me to meet the funds transfer In your favor so I want to ask you if you are willing to help in this matter and if you are willing to help you are to send me the require details for us to proceed immediately.

I hope you understood.

Yours truly,
Roesel
Tushie Meshuganah
Sept. 30

Dear Roesel,

Thank you for your letter but I have already given you all my personal details. Let me repeat that there is no way I can send you any documents to prove my identity because there are too many dishonest people [alas, often fellow Africans mostly from Nigeria] who might steal them.

However, as you say, your prayers have been answered. I am also a God-fearing lady. The Holy Bagel Community is a subsidiary of the Worldwide Brotherhood of Bintel Briv led by Bishop Shtarke O' Sullivan and the Reverend Cy Gezunt. Again, let me repeat that the Holy Bagel Community has funds of £3,000,000 sterling at its disposal but we are always in need of donations to ensure we are able to carry on our charitable work amongst schnorrers and ganefs everywhere.

So your prayers have been answered. Just send me further details.

Incidentally, what Church do you belong to ?

Remain blessed,

TUSHIE MESHUGANAH
The Holy Bagel Community
P.O. Box 69
London GIT FU2
England
http://www.freewebs.com/tushiem/
Roesel Kunie
Date: Tue, 30 Sep 2008

Dear Tushie mashuganah

Thanks for your understanding.

As you can see I told you before hand that your present will be needed to come and sign the released order of the funds in your favor for immediately transfer. So let me know your mind for us to proceed.

I wait to hear from you.

Yours truly,
Roesel
Tushie Meshuganah
Oct. 1

Dear Roesel,

How many times must I repeat myself - I am able to travel anywhere in Europe to release funds for our holy work amongst the ganefs.

Please make haste with the necessary modalities - this is not child's play, my dear.

TUSHIE MESHUGANAH
The Holy Bagel Community
Tushie Meshuganah
Date: October 2, 2008

Dear Sirs,

Please send me all further details necessary to further the holy work of The Holy Bagel Community.

Yours faithfully,

TUSHIE MESHUGANAH
Roesel Kunie
Date: Thu, 2 Oct 2008

Dear Tushie mashuganah

Good to hear from you.

Below are the contact details you are to contact them immediately and book a date with them to have the funds cleared in your favour as soon as you contact them follow all instructions from them for you to have the funds transfer to any account of your choice to meet my dreams in good faith.

CONTACT DETAILS

Dr. Don Kepping (Vice President, Investment Services)
Leed Securities Investment
Strawinskylaan 337, 1077 XX Amsterdam, The Netherlands
Email: invest@leedinvestments..com
Tel: 0031.647.271.609
Fax: 0031.847.291.980

Once again I thank you very much for your effort so far make sure you have in contact and book a date for this week.

I am very sick now so do act fast and keep me informed.

Yours truly,
Roesel

["Dr. Kepping" is the closer. If he can scam Tushie, he will share a bit with "Roesel".]

Dr. Don Kepping
Date: Fri, 3 Oct 2008

Attn: Tushie Meshuganah

Dear Sir,

In pursuant to our telephone discussion and your email of yesterday, we write to inform you that we received a letter of intent from Mrs. Roesel Kunie to commence clearing procedure of a deposit in our custody in your favour.

We are satisfied with the authenticity of the letter of intent and other accompanying documents submitted. We will commence the appraisal and clearing processes of the deposit on receipt of the following;

1. An acceptance letter on your availability in our office for this transaction
2. Completion of the Deposit Appraisal Form (see attachment)

In furtherance to the above, you will be required to make physical appearance in our office in Amsterdam-The Netherlands, for physical identification and signing of the receivership documents in your favour. The submission of the acceptance letter and completed appraisal form will serve as preliminary stage of commencing clearing processes* with the De Nederlandsche Bank (DNB) and Dutch Tax and Custom.

Take note that we will handle the transfer of the deposit in your favour in a legal, professional and honest manner. For further clarifications contact the undersigned directly on phone number +31.647.271.609 and fax number +31.847.291.980.

Thank you for availing us the opportunity to serve you.

Yours faithfully,
For: Leed Securities Investment

Dr. Don Kepping
Vice President (Investment Services)
Direct Phone: +31.647.271.609

*["clearing processes" = that's the money "Dr. Kepping" will try to scam out of Tushie. But you knew that.]

Tushie Meshuganah
Oct. 4

Dear Dr Kepping,

Thank you for the prompt response.

I regret that I am unable to send important personal details over the internet but I can supply the following information which I trust you will treat as strictly confidential.

Full Name: Tushie Zola Meshuganah
Nationality: Zambian
Work Position: Treasurer, The Holy Bagel Community
Permanent Address: 666 Bowden Boulevard, Smegaroon City, SM 28419, Smegaroon
Work Address: P O Box 69, The Holy Bagel Community, London FU2 GIT

Personal Telephone [mobile] 07768607360

Bank: Kreplach Brothers Merchant Bank International PLC
Chief Executive: Sir Charles Farnes-Barnes [mobile: xxxxxxxxxxx]

I hope this will allow you to put all necessary modalities in place.

Yours faithfully,

TUSHIE MESHUGANAH

[Scamoramans are encouraged to pause here for a brief visit to the idyllic retreat of Smegaroon.]

SMEGAROON

VACATION SPOT FOR THE DISCERNING SPY
BOOK YOUR GETAWAY NOW!

Dr. Don Kepping
Date: Sat, 4 Oct 2008

Dear Tuslie Meshuganah,

The information requested on the Appraisal form is strictly for the purpose of this transaction and it will not be used for any other purpose.

This transaction is a due process and you must follow our instructions in helping us to achieve the conclusion of the transaction in your favour.
Please adhere to my initial request below;

1. An acceptance letter on your availability in our office for this transaction
2. Completion of the Deposit Appraisal Form (see attachment)

Like I have assured you, this transaction is being handled in a legal amnner, professional manner, honest manner and the fear of God.

I hope you will adhere to our request and avoid wasting valuable time. You may call me on phone number +31.647.271.609 if you need further clarification.

Sincerely,

Kepping, Don
Tushie Meshuganah
Oct. 5

Dear Kepping Don,

You have written to me before as Dr Don Kepping. Has your secretary misspelled your name ?

I am writing this note from my home in Smegaroon as tomorrow we begin four days of celebration to mark our independence from Britain in 1958. As this year marks the fiftieth anniversary of this happy event I have taken leave from my work in London and will not return until Monday October 13th.

So I suggest that to complete modalities as quickly as possible you fill out the necessary form on my behalf. I have sent you all relevant details and you may take this note as my acceptance of my availability to come tyo your office - after October 13th, of course.

Meanwhile may I send you our best wishes in Smegaronian - gai kuck'n oif de yam.

Remain blessed,

TUSHIE MESHUGANAH
Dr. Don Kepping
Date: Sun, 5 Oct 2008

Dear Tushie Mashuganah,

Congratulations and wish this email meets you in a peaceful and happy mood.

I want you to call me by my first name, which is Don. I have read and understand your requests. This is what I will do.

1. I will fill out the form on your behalf with the information you have provided me.
2. The appraisal exercise will commence on Monday and will send you the result as soon as I have it.

I have noted your holiday and will be in touch after 13th.

Sincerely,

Don
Tushie Meshuganah
Oct. 6

Dear Don,

Thank you for your note and I look forward to hearing from you next week.

Remain blessed,

TUSHIE
Tushie Meshuganah
Oct. 14

Dear Don,

I am back in my office after a wonderful week in Smegaroon.

I look forward to hearing from you.

Kindest regards,

TUSHIE
Dr. Don Kepping
Date: Wed, 15 Oct 2008

Dear Tushie Mashuganah,

In furtherance to above, we have completed the appraisal and have this morning commenced the due diligence of the portfolio account in the vain of seeking any unpaid charges and clearance charges from both De Nedelandsche Bank and Dutch Tax and Custom Administration.

Kindly allow us till tomorrow for the completion of our findings and information on the sundry charges in completing the transfer of ownership status in your name.

If you need further clarification, kindly direct your enquiries to my new direct number +31.647.249.180.

Thank you for giving us an opportunity to be of service to you.

Sincerely,

Don Kepping
Gay Indread

[Even an assistant needs an assistant.]

Oct. 16

Dear Mr Kepping,

Ms Meshuganah is out of the office until tomorrow morning but she has asked me to reply to your e-mail.

She looks forward to hearing from you. However, she will need to know about the sundry charges mentioned in your note. Would you please inform her what these relate to - and also whether they will exceed £500 or $1,000 US dollars. If these charges are above these limits she will have to obtain clearance from one of the Holy Bagel Community directors. However, Ms Meshuganah is authorised to make payments on her own authority for any amount under £500 or $1,000.

Yours sincerely,

Gay Indread
Secretary to
TUSHIE MESHUGANAH
The Holy Bagel Community
Dr. Don Kepping
Date: Thu, 16 Oct 2008

Attn: Tushie Meshuganah

Dear Madam,

I am glad to inform you on the the successful completion of the appraisal exercise today in respect of funds depose in your favour by Mrs. Roesel Kunie. We are writing to invite you to the endorsement ceremony and the receivership of funds amounting to US$24,000,000.00 (Twenty Four Million US Dollars only) whose receivership will be completed on your arrival and completion of the endorsement formalities in our office.

In furtherance to your availability for the endorsement/signing ceremony in our office, be informed that all arrangements have been perfected to the successful conclusion of the transaction in your favour. You are required to bring with you the following to the endorsement ceremony;

1. Proof of personal identification (driver's license or international passport).
2. Four (4) passport photograph not exceeding six (6) months.
3. The sum of €9,600:00 (Nine Thousand, Six Hundred Euros only) in cash, representing due process charges from the results of the appraisal and due diligence exercise.

This amount is payable in our office before the endorsement exercise. An official appointment for the endorsement ceremony has been scheduled for Wednesday October 22nd, 2008. Please confirm your availability by sending us your travel itenarary and hotel reservation.

For further clarifications contact the undersigned directly on phone number +31.647.249.180.

Thank you for availing us the opportunity to serve you.
Tushie Meshuganah
Oct. 17

Dear Don,

I am now back in the office and I must say that I am shocked by your e-mail. The amount of money you require - nine thousand six hundred euros - is far more than I expected. As my assistant, Ms Gay Indread, informed you, I am only able to authorise payments of up to £500 [or 750 Euros] without referral to our Finance Controller, El Haj Yuliq Mdiq.

To speed up matters, may I suggest that you simply deduct 9,600 euros from the twenty four million US dollars once we complete the transaction. In the meantime please inform me when and where the endorsement/signing ceremony will take place.

Remain blessed,

TUSHIE MESHUGANAH
The Holy Bagel Community
Dr. Don Kepping
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 2008

Dear Tushie,

Your last email request refers.

Firstly, the endorsement ceremony will be taking place in our office in Amsterdam an official appointment for the endorsement ceremony has been scheduled for Wednesday October 22nd, 2008.

Secondly, the requirements which you are expected to fulfill in the endorsement ceremony before the transfer of receivership of funds in your favour is in accordance with the government's stipulated financial provisions.

Our apex bank, that regulates all financial transaction is De Nedelandsche Bank (DNB). When large funds are received by any bank or financial institutions, a report of the deposit must be made to the DNB. The DNB Inspectors will come and make full inventory of the amount received and that amount is recorded. They will also periodically carry out quarterly inventory on deposits apart from us sending to them monthly inventory of our deposit. Before any transaction will take place, the DNB must be notified and clearance obtain from their office before the transfer of receivership is perfected.

This brings me to your transaction. When the aforestated funds in your transaction was received, we complied with the Financial Acts provision in reporting the deposit to the DNB and now that the funds are to be received by you, we are expected to process clearances from the DNB and Dutch Tax and Customs before the transaction will commence. This amount of €9,600.00 which represents the due diligence and clearing chargess will go into legitimizing the transfer of receiveship of the funds in your name. This amount cannot be deucted from the deposited funds becuase it is illegal to do so. Since the DNB officials are aware of the recorded figure of the deposited amount, it will be illegal if we take out the €9,600.00 from the deposit. If it is not possible to deduct the amount, the onus falls on you to fully comply with the payment in our office to enable us secure the necessary clearance with the DNB and Dutch tax and Customs.

We are professionals here and follow the rule of law. This transaction is being handled in a legal and honest manner with recourse to peace of mind as we dont want a future situation where either you or Leed Group will be subjected to legal and ethical encumberance in the handling of this transaction.

You have to convey the acceptance of our requirements to allow us continue the logistic already commenced that will facilitate the transaction. We shall be grateful for your urgent response, as it will serve as preliminary step to your attending the endorsement ceremony.

Regards,
For: Leed Securities Investment

Dr. Don Kepping
Tushie Meshuganah
Oct. 17

Dear Dr Don,

Thank you for your quick response.

I understand that it would be illegal to take the cash from the 24 million dollars so I propose one of these two alternatives to continue these modalities.

1. If your organisation - Leed Investments - puts up the 9,600 Euros I can send you 750 Euros as a deposit which would be forfeited if this business is not concluded to our mutual satisfaction. I cannot see how you would lose under this plan because if I do not pay you back the 9,600 euros immediately after receiving my money, you can simply stop the 24 million US dollars cheque.

2. But if for some reason you cannot agree to this arrangement, I will have to obtain authorisation from my superior, El Haj Yuliq Mdiq to send you 9,600 euros. I must add that this might be difficult to obtain before Wednesday October 22.

Meanwhile, I would suggest that the ceremony takes place between midday and 2pm as this will allow me to catch an early flight from London and to return the same day so I will not need to make any hotel reservation.

Sincerely,

TUSHIE MESHUGANAH
Dr. Don Kepping
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 2008
Subject: RE: Invitation to Endorsement Exercise

Dear Tushie,

In answer to your proposal, you do not presently qualify for the extension of the credit facility €9,600.00 by Leed Group because you have not met the minimum requirements to enjoy such status.

Furthermore, not qualifing does not mean total denial of further cooperation in accessing needed fundings for you. The only window of opportunity opened, is the elevation or changing your present status to that of a permanent beneficiary in the intended reprofiled funds. The basic requirement is the payment of €2,500.00 (Two Thousand, Five Hundred euros only) towards the enforceability of change of status of the deposit to your name as beneficiary. If we can receive the amount of €2,500.00 before the close of work on Saturday, you will be able to enjoy this rare priviledge. Why Saturday is because it takes another 48hrs to conclude the permanent status to your name.

If you can send the amount via Moneygram, we can achieve the loan facility in you favour for next week.

If the above is acceptable by you, kindly use the receiver's name below to send the €2,500.00 via western union money transfer.

First name: Tom
Last name: Wesley
City: Amsterdam
Country: The Netherlands
Amount: €2,500.00

Immediately money has been sent, kindly email me the following information as contained in the moneygram payment receipt that contains the refernce number;

Sender's First Name:
Sender's Last Name:
City:
Country:
Reference Number:
Amount:

If the above is not acceptable by you, we have no other option than to wait for you to obtain authorisation from your superior, El Haj Yuliq Mdiq to send €9,600.00 needed to conclude the whole process. I accede to your request and the ceremony can be achieved between 1200Hrs to 1400Hrs to enable you return the same day.

Sincerely,

Don
Tushie Meshuganah
Oct. 20

Dear Don,

Thank you for your prompt reply.

Unfortunately, as I have already informed you, I can only authorise payments up to approximately 1,000 Euros. So whilst I appreciate your efforts to bring down the amount needed to claim the funds from 9,600 euros to 2,500 Eutros, I regret that this is still too high a figure for me to issue a cheque which bears only my signature.

Nevertheless, I have spoken to my director, El Haj Uliq Mdiq and he has shown considerable interest in this business and at his request I have passed our correspondence to his office. He is attending a meeting of the European division of the Council of United Nations Trustees in London this morning but he has asked me to say that he will respond to you either later today or first thing tomorrow morning.

Remain blessed,
TUSHIE MESHUGANAH
El Haj Yuliq Mdiq

[Tushie brings in the heavy cavalry]

Dear Mr Kopping,

Ms Tushie has passed your correspondence with her to me.

Although I am minded to proceed with this exercise on the basis of a payment of two thousand five hundred euros, I would prefer to pay these fees in cash directly to your company in Amsterdam. I will of course require a receipt and full documention for this money.

I shall be be in The Netherlands early next week and could meet you in Amsterdam next Monday October 27th. Would 12 noon at the reception desk of the Grand Hotel Krasnopolsky Dam 9 be convenient ?

Yours sincerely,

El Haj Yuliq Mdiq
Associate Director [Finance]
The Holy Bagel Community
Dr. Don Kepping
Date: Mon, 20 Oct 2008

Attn: Mr. El Haj Uliq Mdiq
Ms. Tushie

This message is in furtherance to your email. It is a pity that I inform you that the cut-off date for the payment of the 2,500 Euros was on or before Saturday October 18. Since you were unable to meet our cut-off date, the window of opportunity I could have helped in bridging the balance is no longer available.

The only option we will accept is full acceptance and liability of the total due procees fees of 9,600 Euros. If you are desirous for the meeting and completion of the endorsement exercise, we can achieve it on Monday October 27. We can have a meeting between 1200 noon to 1400pm. I will be sending a car to pick you from the Grand Hotel Krasnopolsky Dam 9 on Monday at 12 noon. Kindly convey your acceptance.

Sincere regards.

Don
El Haj Yuliq Mdiq
Oct. 21

Dear Dr Kopping,

Thank you for your prompt reply. I look forward to meeting you next Monday in Amsterdam. I shall be standing at the reception desk of the Grand Hotel Krasnapolsky. Your driver will recognise me as I wear glasses, I have a short grey beard and I shall be wearing a dark blue suit.

Two further questions:

1. I presume our business won't take too much time - I need to be back at the hotel by 2.30pm at the latest.

2. The Holy Bagel Community uses pounds sterling, US dollars and Smegaroon golden dorks for its banking purposes. It would be convenient for me to pay the fees in one of these currencies - i.e. £7,740/$12,7600/SD3419 - rather than in Euroes. Which currency do you prefer ?

Yours sincerely,

El Haj YuliqMdiq
Associate Director [Finance]
The Holy Bagel Community
Dr. Don Kepping
Date: Tue, 21 Oct 2008

Dear Mr. El Haj Uliq Mdiq & Ms. Tushie,

Thank you for your message.

I have checked my schedule for Monday and I think its convinient for me to meet you personally at Grand Hotel Krasnapolsky. It is noted you wear glasses, with a short grey beard and with a dark blue suit. I will also be wearing a blue suit and will be free to see you by 1200 Noon on Monday.

In answer to your request, the meeting will not be long and the amount preferable is the Pounds Sterling (£7,740.00). Please advice a mobile number I might reach and you can call me directly on +31.647.249.180.

Look forward to meeting with you and conclusion completion of our business.

Remain Blessed.

Don Kepping
El Haj Yuliq Mdiq
Oct. 23

Dear Mr Kepping,

You may reach me on my personal landline: {xxxxxxxx} or my personal mobile {zzzzzzzzz}.

I look forward to seeing you on Monday.

Yours sincerely,

El Haj Yuliq Mdiq
Joseph Kucker

[The Holy Bagel Community's financial staff are mustered]

Date: October 24, 2008

Dear Dr Kopping,

Unfortunately El Haj Yuliq Mdiq has been called to a meeting in Smegaroon this weekend and will be unable to see you on Monday.

However, I shall be leaving Smegaroon tomorrow evening and so I will be able to take his place. Therefore I look forward to seeing you at 12 noon at the reception desk of the Grand Hotel Krasnapolsky.

I attach a recent photograph of myself [taken after our annual charity football match against the Salvation Army].

Perhaps you would be kind enough to acknowledge receipt of this e-mail.

Yours sincerely,

Joseph Gross-Kucker
Deputy Finance Manager
The Holy Bagel Community
c/o. Box 666
Smegaroon City

[Mr. Gross-Kucker's photo looks like a scammer pic, which may itself have been lifted from someone's passport. Or a jail photograph.]

Dr. Don Kepping
Date: Sat, 25 Oct 2008

Dear El Haj Yuliq Mdiq,

I understand you will be away and wont be able to be at our meeting. I will also be indispose because I will be Hong Kong for urgent business matters.

We will communicate a suitable date for our meeting.

Sincerely,

Don
Tushie Meshuganah
Oct. 26

Dear Don,

I hope this reaches you before you leave for Hong Kong.

There is an old proverb in Smegaroon which says: 'if you want something done, go to the people who are busy'!

As you see I am here in the office on Sunday trying to catch up on my correspondence whilst my bosses El Haj Yuliq Mdiq and Joseph Gross-Kucker are having a nice time in the Smegaroon sunshine at their Conference of Underdeveopled Nations Trusteeship conference.

Anyhow, to business - whilst they are away I have spoken to our spiritual advisor Bishop Ronald Ngoblah and he has given me authority to conclude our transaction. It will not be necessary for me to meet you in Amsterdam [unless you insist on this] - just send me your bank details and we can make an electronic transfer of funds.

Remain blessed,

TUSHIE MESHUGANAH
Tushie Meshuganah
Oct. 31

Dear Don,

Are you back from Hong Kong ? I await a reply to my e-mail of October 26th.

[More to come?!]

 

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