richard is Available


Hi again Scamo friends..
I'm also Sheila Bundee AND Ted Bundee, et. al. but I caught this one as ALOTTA FOSTERS...and as you can see, it's less than 24 hrs old but quite a laugh..If you look closely you might even see Scamorama mentioned in a reverse-kinda way....I must say I haven't had this much fun with the insults in a long time. And it's not over, but this is the fun for now..

This starts as email and I switch it to chat--and lasts about 4hrs 40min..As I say, an hour of chat is worth about 20 emails..And better because the lads have no time to plan things out.


Alotta Fosters--age 47, owns a koala ranch in Australia which looks like the desert ghost town of Shakespeare New Mexico USA ( just saying). And she also owns a big python and looks sorta like Terri Irwin..and knows almost nothing of Nigeria. And has NEVER been on a dating site/sit!

JAME RICHARD---age 43..Nigerian. Certainly not starving, from the pics he sent he looks like a chubby oga or retired oga.


Let the fun begin! Note--when I get impatient with him, it's from waiting 3 minutes or so..See how I threaten him..


JAME RICHARD

From: Jame Richard <richardjame107@yahoo.com>
Sent: Wednesday, February 27, 2013
Subject: hi Love

hello dear
Am Richard Jame ,i saw your profile on dating sit so i decided to contact you . i need a woman who can be my love have be searching for love since but i couldn't get my hearth .but today i went through your profile and i saw that you are a serious woman who have sense of humour...I do believe in honesty and trust because is the foundation of any relationship to work out and last longer,moreover i like to be with a woman that really knows what she wants for herself and how she wants to achieve it in life.
I like to meet different kind of people from any part of life and culture

[HMM..The headers were vague but it sounds like basic 'lad-speak'. So I send the standard 'age & location please' hours later]

JAME RICHARD

Date: Thursday, February 28, 2013, 12:46 AM

am 43 years old and i living in Dubai
Alotta Fosters

Sent: Thursday, February 28, 2013 2:20 AM

THEY TREAT WOMEN LIKE DOGS IN ARAB COUNTRIES..GOODBYE.

[Let me show him I am a feisty woman.. and 43..that is about 15 years younger than my real age--but I'll be 47 or so, if he bites]

JAME RICHARD

Date: Thursday, February 28, 2013, 2:30 AM

am not an Arab man i'm from Africa

[as I suspected..hmm--there might be promise here..but I can not be eager.]

Alotta Fosters

Thursday, February 28, 2013 3:19 AM

well I am in Australia and have no desire to go to either place

JAME RICHARD

Date: Thursday, February 28, 2013, 3:25 AM

but can we be intimate friend because am looking my soul mate,the woman who can be my wife .so if you are interested pleases let me know .and for correction dear,am not an Arab man

[Intimate? Soul mate? Wife? This is every girls' dream! Fish on! Now to get him to chat.. a fast email reply does it--so here we go!]

Alotta Fosters
here i am
JAME RICHARD
richard is Available
Alotta Fosters
go ahead- - i added you
JAME RICHARD
richard is Available
Alotta Fosters
it is almost 9pm here- - do not keep me waiting too long
JAME RICHARD
okay dear how are you doing overythere
Alotta Fosters
ok- - and are you in dubai or africa?
JAME RICHARD
i work in Dubai
Alotta Fosters
ok- - where in africa are you from? i'm not going to keep waiting much longer
JAME RICHARD
as contranctor engineer in dubai from Nigeria west Africa
Alotta Fosters
ok, nigeria
JAME RICHARD
yes dear
Alotta Fosters
i know where it is
JAME RICHARD
what?
Alotta Fosters
i know where nigeria is- - aren't you paying attention?
JAME RICHARD
okay and my i know more about you dear?
Alotta Fosters
i am 47 and single here in australia
JAME RICHARD
okay good
Alotta Fosters
well i like to think so
JAME RICHARD
am also Richard i'm single 43 years old man
Alotta Fosters
yes you said that in an email
JAME RICHARD
yes dear baby pleased i need someone who can make me happy
Alotta Fosters
you sound desperate women like a confident man
JAME RICHARD
i need my soulmate
Alotta Fosters
send me your picture please
JAME RICHARD
moreover may i know your Name?
Alotta Fosters
what? ? you are chatting with me and i added you to my list and you do not know my name? i even emailed you more than once too.
JAME RICHARD
okay Alotta
Alotta Fosters
well good for you- - now let me see your picture please
JAME RICHARD
okay
Alotta Fosters
good, and then you get one of me i am waiting
JAME RICHARD
see me on my yahoo
Alotta Fosters
i only know about regular yahoo email, so send it to me on that
JAME RICHARD
okay Check it now ,have send it to your box Jame Richard is Available
Alotta Fosters
i am scanning it
JAME RICHARD
Jame Richard is Available okay dear.... and pls send yours
Alotta Fosters
i can barely see your face..hold on i will send mine
JAME RICHARD
okay dear
Alotta Fosters
ok sent
JAME RICHARD
okay dear wowwwwwwwwwwwwww wwwwww Jame Richard is Available Jame Richard: nooooooooooooooo
Alotta Fosters
it's just me with my python
JAME RICHARD
with you?
Alotta Fosters
yes she is a favourite of mine
JAME RICHARD
how?
Alotta Fosters
what do you mean HOW? ? cuddles is my pet python.
JAME RICHARD
you said is your favourite so i say how
Alotta Fosters
i love my snake plain and simple
JAME RICHARD
okay i need another pix
Alotta Fosters
i want a clearer one of your face first those 2 you sent did not show your face very well
JAME RICHARD
okay but i want to see another pix of yours
Alotta Fosters
after yours
JAME RICHARD
okay
Alotta Fosters

yes

i can wait- - and i have to go pee

JAME RICHARD
check your mail
Alotta Fosters

hold on

i am downloading it

my pc is running slow, it might take a while- - meanwile i shall try and send you mine

JAME RICHARD
okay dear but why not online
Alotta Fosters
i am online, but just so only you and i can chat
JAME RICHARD
okay.......
Alotta Fosters

i am uploading my photo to send you

it is me in a dress- - i seldom wear them

JAME RICHARD
okay here is my number +971551978594 call me
Alotta Fosters
i did not ask you for it
JAME RICHARD

okay

am waitting dear

Alotta Fosters

still uploading- - i told you, it is running a tad slow

i did see your new pictre- - it is a better one thank you

JAME RICHARD
okay dear
Alotta Fosters

it is going ever so slow..

let me send that one tomorrow- - and allow me to see if i can find another one for right now

JAME RICHARD
but i can see you on webcam
Alotta Fosters
i do not have one
JAME RICHARD
wwwwwwwwwooooooo wwwwwwwwwww
Alotta Fosters
what?
JAME RICHARD
i will love to see you?
Alotta Fosters
i just told you i do not have one
JAME RICHARD
okay
Alotta Fosters
and i just sent you another picture of me
JAME RICHARD
Jame Richard is Available
Alotta Fosters
so check your inbox
JAME RICHARD
Jame Richard is Available
Alotta Fosters
are you there?
JAME RICHARD
Jame Richard is Available
Alotta Fosters
answer me or else i have other things to do
JAME RICHARD
yes i got it
Alotta Fosters
i hate wearing dresses
JAME RICHARD
why dear?
Alotta Fosters
just not my style- - and it gets quite warm here too
JAME RICHARD

okay

so how is going to been now dear

could you be my wife

Alotta Fosters
after just 1 night of chatting and emails? ?
JAME RICHARD
yea dear
Alotta Fosters

were you born in a cave? we women like to get to know a man better

maybe things are different in nigeria and dubai, but this here is australia

JAME RICHARD
okay
Alotta Fosters
first comes friendship, then maybe love, then maybe marriage
JAME RICHARD
okay dear thanks
Alotta Fosters
these things take time rome was not built in a day and neither was hoboken
JAME RICHARD
laugh babyyyyyyyyyyyyy yyyyyyyyyy
Alotta Fosters

all i am saying is that these things take time if indeed they do work out

are you there?

JAME RICHARD
dear are you christan or
Alotta Fosters
christian i suppose but i do not go to church
JAME RICHARD
laugh baby why?
Alotta Fosters

because I don't- - that is why

there does not have to be a reason for everything

JAME RICHARD
but they must be a reason for everythere dear
Alotta Fosters
i do not go to church- - no reason- - i just do not do it- - understand?
JAME RICHARD
you are very funny dear
Alotta Fosters
nothing funny about what i said- - i merely told you that i do not go
JAME RICHARD
okay do you have kids dear
Alotta Fosters
none- - and you?
JAME RICHARD
no dear
Alotta Fosters
ok
JAME RICHARD
but will like to have one day
Alotta Fosters
ok
JAME RICHARD

yea

If ever you think of me out of the blue, just remember it's all the kisses I've blown in the air finally catching up with you

Alotta Fosters
you sound like a valentine card
JAME RICHARD
laugh baby
Alotta Fosters
you certainly like to laugh a lot
JAME RICHARD

yes dear

When I look into his eyes, it seems all the problems in the world go away and I'm floating in mid- air

Alotta Fosters
you look into HIS eyes? ? what, are you a gay man?
JAME RICHARD

sorry her eyes

When I look into her eyes, it seems all the problems in the world go away and I'm floating in mid- air

Alotta Fosters
you are obviously copying that from something
JAME RICHARD
noooooooooooooo
Alotta Fosters
it explains your mistake- - you said HIS eyes..
JAME RICHARD
baby is a mistake now you know
Alotta Fosters
well you said it..
JAME RICHARD
yes dear trust me
Alotta Fosters
ok i will trust you- - on that
JAME RICHARD

yea

dear what did you like best

Alotta Fosters
like best about WHAT?
JAME RICHARD
yes
Alotta Fosters
what are you talking about?
JAME RICHARD

you know in a relastionship

we must be honest with ourself

Alotta Fosters

easy- - - love and trust

and trust includes honesty

JAME RICHARD
okay dear
Alotta Fosters
why? - - what are your prerequisites about it?
JAME RICHARD
who is with you there?
Alotta Fosters
just cuddles and me and my dog cujo
JAME RICHARD
how can you put dog and snake together
Alotta Fosters

i always keep an eye on things and fence them off

besides, cuddles eats 2 rabbits a week- - well fed

JAME RICHARD
okay
Alotta Fosters
rabbits are vermin here
JAME RICHARD
okay dear
Alotta Fosters

so as i previously asked- - what are YOUR prerequisites in a relationship?

are you there?

ok, well i have a nice wallaby stew to cook anyway. bye for now

wherefore art thou romeo

JAME RICHARD
cos i need someone
Alotta Fosters

tell me why you need someone and what you want out of it

that is what 'prerequisites' means, in case you lost your dictionary

going once...

3 goings and i am gone..

JAME RICHARD
baby why all this
Alotta Fosters

why WHAT? ? I am sitting here and waiting for you to explain what you want and need in a relationship and all you can say is ""cos i need someone'..You sound as happy about it as a funeral director...Now start telling me your feelings...

This is your BIG MOMENT! If we are to succeed together, then you had better start telling me what you want and need in a relationship..I told you what I want.

JAME RICHARD
okay
Alotta Fosters

so let's hear it.

going once...

going once and a half..
JAME RICHARD
i need trust ,honsety moreovery moreover i like to be with a woman that really knows what she wants for herself and how she wants to achieve it in life
Alotta Fosters
like pulling teeth to get an answer..but thank you for telling me..
JAME RICHARD
that's what i need
Alotta Fosters
well i am a woman who really knows what i want for myself and i have already achieved much. i own a successful koala ranch here.
JAME RICHARD

okay dear

so what are we waitting for?

Alotta Fosters
uh- - the chattanooga choo- choo? You are the man, you have told me what you like but not what you ARE like..
JAME RICHARD
how baby?
Alotta Fosters

simple question- - what kind of man are you? hard working? ambitious? like tv a whole lot? things like that...

can you cook? drive a car? run a tractor? swim a full pool length?

it is THESE sort of things that I would like to know..But I should not be asking, you should be telling..The loudest and best rooster gets the hen, remember.

JAME RICHARD
I am a very caring man who has a positive attitude, enjoy being with my wife, I make the most of everything, cherish my family, no games, no drama, honesty and trust are the true makings of a positive relationship. Very confident in who I am and what I can do
Alotta Fosters
You say that you enjoy being with your wife- - so do you mean that you are married now, or have been married?
JAME RICHARD
said love be with my wife ? mean when i get married
Alotta Fosters

i see..well marriage is a lot like a pair of new shoes..you can talk about the shoes- - and marriage - - but until it is tried out then you really haver no idea.

have no idea

I was married many years ago.

JAME RICHARD
i love cooking and driving also
Alotta Fosters
cooking is always nice and of course driving is a necessity
JAME RICHARD
you said you have married years ago
Alotta Fosters

yes i was

but he is dead

JAME RICHARD
ohhh sorry
Alotta Fosters

crashed his hog at itchybum corners..

hog- - harley- davidson motorbyke

JAME RICHARD
ok
Alotta Fosters
after his death i made up my mind not to have children without being married
JAME RICHARD
okay before his death you dont have any child ?
Alotta Fosters
we were only married 6 months...But the Amaromacs Insurance paid me $20millAU. sure would have been nice to have a child and husband to spend it on..
JAME RICHARD
okay
Alotta Fosters
the money was nice, but i didn't really want to obtain it that way.
JAME RICHARD
okay good
Alotta Fosters

yes, at least Tessio went out as he would have wanted- - a little splattered on the pavement, but on his hog to the end..

we buried what was left of him with his hog.

JAME RICHARD
ohhh my God
Alotta Fosters
i told him that smoking would kill him- - and he got hit by amarlboro cigarette lorry, i was unfortunately correct.
JAME RICHARD
baby let talk about other things pleased
Alotta Fosters
crikey, i'm bonzer good on ya for that one, solid as a goanna in a hot billabong
JAME RICHARD
okay dear
Alotta Fosters
ok, so talk about other things
JAME RICHARD
yea dear
Alotta Fosters

you sure must wow the women with such witty conversation..

your enthusiasm lever runs the entire gamut from A to B.

enthusiasm level, that is..A lever might pry more talk from a stone..

is THIS what married life with you would be like? you with a can of beer watching the telly and saying 'yes dear' and 'okay'...well?

once i'm gone i'm gone forever- -

JAME RICHARD
no dear
Alotta Fosters

will you start saying more than that ? ? i might as well watch paint dry

going once- - you get to 3

still waiting

JAME RICHARD
i just want you to belive me
Alotta Fosters

i did not say that i did not believe you..

mainly because you really haven't told me much about you at all..just that you like to cook..you said nothing else about that..Any other man might try and say WHAT he likes to cook and such....You are not doing a very good job of impressing me.

shape up or ship ,out, as they say

going once and three quarters..

going twice

third time and i will be gone forever..

JAME RICHARD
babyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Alotta Fosters
you were trying to type- - go ahead
JAME RICHARD
baby have told you
Alotta Fosters
you haven't told me much of anything..Even NOW you have not told me what you like to cook.
JAME RICHARD
am contrator here in Dubai
Alotta Fosters

My specialty is roast emu drumsticks (real big ones) and echidna with stuffing.

a contrator in dubai- - you said that- - and here is more startling amazing news- - water is wet!

JAME RICHARD
working with constrution company here in Dubai
Alotta Fosters

i have construed that you work in constrution.

You are no longer signed into Chat

I am back

JAME RICHARD
Jame Richard is Available
Alotta Fosters
cujo jumped up and accidentally disconnected me there- - dogs will be dogs
JAME RICHARD
ohhhhhh dear
Alotta Fosters
what?
JAME RICHARD
you said your dog jumped up
Alotta Fosters
yes, just a very playful doggie
JAME RICHARD
okay dear
Alotta Fosters
Si senor
JAME RICHARD
dear pleased could you tell what you exepect from me ,cos am from Africa, and we have different culture
Alotta Fosters

well if you wee here i would expect you to pay half the monthly bills- - about $3000AU a month

that would be the first thing

JAME RICHARD
baby for what, accomodation
Alotta Fosters
utility bills, car insurance, satellite tv, food, petrol (very steep in price here) and other michegas.
JAME RICHARD
okay that's right ........
Alotta Fosters

but there are no constrution jobs around here where I am

last thing that was constructed around these parts was the dingo fence

JAME RICHARD
you re in which state dear
Alotta Fosters

Australia

The southern Northern Terr, just east of WEST Australia

Dingo Flats be the name here

just a walkabout from scratchybum junction
JAME RICHARD
dear re you in sydney
Alotta Fosters
crikey no!! that's big city- - I am way way out back of beyond- - the bush country.
JAME RICHARD
okay dear that's lovely
Alotta Fosters
hold on- - i will send you a picture of my koala ranch
JAME RICHARD
okay dear
Alotta Fosters

ok sent- - as you can plainly see it is quite sparse of populace here.

are you there?

JAME RICHARD
yes baby
Alotta Fosters
do you see those nearby hills ?
JAME RICHARD
Jame Richard is Available
Alotta Fosters
are you there?
JAME RICHARD
brb
Alotta Fosters
time is 6 after here
JAME RICHARD
okay dear very lovely
Alotta Fosters

those hills- - - I was told by Ralph Kramden of the Sydney Harbour Institute of Technology that those hills contain millions of dollars of uranium.

i was quoted a price to me of $100million AU

JAME RICHARD
dear is any proof to it
Alotta Fosters
well they THINK it is there..they want to dig it up but i really do not want to have them change the beautiful desert landscape
JAME RICHARD
dear are the owner of all the land?
Alotta Fosters
yes most of what you see is mine- - the rest belongs to the local aboriginal tribe- - or should i say they belong to it
JAME RICHARD
okay dear so you are not ready to move to sydney
Alotta Fosters

what is your bloody facsniation with Sydtown?

fascination, that is- - keep feeling fascination

JAME RICHARD
cos is your capital
Alotta Fosters
must have happened while we have been typing, because the last I recall- - as in ALL my life- - the cap has always been Canberra
JAME RICHARD
dear who are the aboringin in your country ?
Alotta Fosters

the native peoples who have been here at least 50,000 years or more- - nobody knows

and i guess you have Sydville on you mind from that Mardi Gras there, yes?

JAME RICHARD
dear you belong to which part in that country
Alotta Fosters
what do you mean?
JAME RICHARD
i mean from which state which part in that country?
Alotta Fosters
I TOLD YOU- - crikey- - I am in the southern Northern territory (it is a terr., not a state) and just east of Western Australia, which IS a state here
JAME RICHARD
okay dear
Alotta Fosters
picture a cross- - i am in lower part of the upper rh part
JAME RICHARD
baby are you living alone?
Alotta Fosters
echo- echo- - yes i told you this hours ago
JAME RICHARD
i wish in some month to come maybe i join you for vacation
Alotta Fosters

we call it holiday here, not vacation

americans say vacation- - do you know any americans?

JAME RICHARD
dear you know am orginal Africa man
Alotta Fosters
yes i know you are orginal.
JAME RICHARD
thanks baby
Alotta Fosters

i could even see the Nigerian flag in one of your photos

green- white- green

JAME RICHARD
laugh
Alotta Fosters
you think your flag is funny?
JAME RICHARD
dear is for peace
Alotta Fosters
well i hope so, with all the dictators and crooks that have led your country over the years..
JAME RICHARD
baby that's the problem we have in Africa
Alotta Fosters
oh i know about a lot of it- - i like to keep up on world events
JAME RICHARD
that's means you know much about my country
Alotta Fosters

me know about Nigeria? not a whole lot- - it's in OPEC, has pirates off the coast, Sade is a great singer, the capital is Abuja..

that's about all I know of Nigeria.

JAME RICHARD
baby you tried alot, cos i dont know anythings about your country
Alotta Fosters

well the Olympics were here in 1956 and 2000..

we have no volcanoes

most sheep in the world

deadliest poisonous snakes in the world
JAME RICHARD
yes dear, my country is there in sydney to participate in sydeny olympic
Alotta Fosters
i'm sure they were- - but what about the winter olympics?
JAME RICHARD
no dear
Alotta Fosters
is there a nigerian bobsled team? ice skating team?
JAME RICHARD
nooooooooooooooo
Alotta Fosters
pity- - that's less medals
JAME RICHARD
yes of course
Alotta Fosters

have you ever even been in snow?

waiting..

going twice and a quarter..

JAME RICHARD
what can we do together in ur country
Alotta Fosters

lot of fun stuff

do you swim?

JAME RICHARD

i luv to cash some fun over there

no baby
Alotta Fosters
you do not swim- - - it is just as well, from your corpulence you would have made quite a tasty croc snack anyway..
JAME RICHARD
we have less water
Alotta Fosters
well you have the ocean we are a continent but really the largest island in the world
JAME RICHARD
not in every state
Alotta Fosters
every state in australia borders the ocean!
JAME RICHARD
yes baby i know that
Alotta Fosters

hmmm..well we can fly kites, go fishing, look for gold,

or just stay indoors and make love like tasmanian devils

JAME RICHARD
dear may be you will train me later
Alotta Fosters
train you indeed but in what specifically?
JAME RICHARD
just swim and fishing
Alotta Fosters
you could get a career in sheep- shearing
JAME RICHARD
you mean i can invest in such area
Alotta Fosters
oh yes- - there are many men around here who can't wait to get into sheep
JAME RICHARD
baby you will lead me to them when i get over there
Alotta Fosters
I would be delighted to do that..
JAME RICHARD
thanks baby
Alotta Fosters
no problemo!
JAME RICHARD
but dear i would like to see you here
Alotta Fosters
oh I do not even have a passport any more..And I have a lot of things to take care of here- - the koalas need me.
JAME RICHARD

okay dear

dear are you the one taking care of them?

Alotta Fosters
just keep me close in your heart over there
JAME RICHARD
i will do that baby
Alotta Fosters

yes I am the main koala caretaker- - but there are a few people who work for me too- - i have Murry the echidna man, Raoul the pool boy, and others

but they leave here after 4pm

JAME RICHARD
so baby how are we going to see each other?
Alotta Fosters

and work primarily on weekends..They are not here now today because it is a minor holiday here, Saint Abernathy's Day

how? well you are the world traveler.

JAME RICHARD
dear you mean you haven't trave out of your country before
Alotta Fosters
years ago- - to the USA, mexico, new zealand, and canada.
JAME RICHARD
yes baby that's means we can see each other
Alotta Fosters
only if you come here
JAME RICHARD
let you know later
Alotta Fosters

ok- - are you going now? i should go, I have things to do- - like drive to the Try'n'Save to pick up some things ..

so perhaps we shall chat again, you have my email address. i really must go now

ok bye dear

JAME RICHARD

okay baby

chat you tomorrow

yea love


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