It takes someone who's secure in his masculinity to come up with a response like the one below.


Received: from source ([])
From: "George kabila"
Date: Sat, 9 Aug 2003 20:57:20

FROM: Mr. George Kabila.


Dear Sir/Madam,

My name is MR. GEORGE KABILA, the brother of the late President Laurent Kabila of the Democratic Republic of Congo. I got your information through a discreet inquiry from a Business Libary here in the Congo. Be informed that my informant is not aware of the nature of business I am asking for your assistance.

I have an urgent business, which I want to disclose to you. I believe it will be beneficial to both of us. After the assassination of my brother The Late President Laurent Kabila, and the taking over of power by his son Joseph Kabila. We discovered that some amount of money, Five Million, Five Hundred Thousand United States Dollars (US$5,500,000.00) is presently deposited with a security company abroad for our family use.

I have the privilege in contacting you for an urgent assistance in this transaction. We have arranged to give you 10% of the total sum for your assistance and 85% for my family,and 5% set aside for expenses.

I will like all our communication to be through my Email address for security reasons.

I stand by to read from you soonest.


G. Kabila


From: Kindly Contributor
To: "George kabila"
Subject: Re: Greetings, I need a ...
Date: Sat, 09 Aug 2003 23:47:11 -0400

Dear Mr. George,

My name is Peter Short. I would like to help you, but I do not need the money. As my name implies, what I really need is something that so far money cannot buy, that is, a LARGER PENIS.

Despite many emails claiming to provide some success in this area, I have spent many, many dollars yet I have not grown ONE TINY MILLIMETER!!!

Perhaps you do not suffer this problem. Perhaps you have more penis than you need. What I propose, in that case, for a sum of FIVE MILLION DOLLARS, is a PENILE TRANSPLANT. I AM TIRED OF WOMEN LAUGHING AT ME!!!!!

It doesn't matter if we are not of the same color, as a matter of fact most women would find that rather KINKY, I believe.

So if you are interested and qualified, please send me a photo of your johnson, along with it's dimensions.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE help me in this regard O brother. As a matter of fact, should the operation be a success, we would then be true brothers.

Faithfully yours,

Peter Short

PS, there's no such word as soonest, using it makes you sound like a buffoon. Just trying to help. Also dead Congo presidents have much more than 5 million dollars buried with them, don't try to con me

We think the charming phrase "soonest" is Britishish. Do not anger Team Agatha! Well, that's the long and short of it. No response yet as far as we know.