the flip-off! march 7

From the demented mind that brought you Adrian Monk Cleans Up -

Subject: Lads meet John Kerry

I must start this one with an explanation. This particular lad, when sending out his typical e-mail, included all other potential victims in the CC field. Among those, was the e-mail address at for John Kerry. Yes, folks, THAT John Kerry.

Sending someone who likes to annoy scammers a message in that fasion? You might as well throw a high hanging fastball to Barry Bonds and expect him to lay down a bunt. I couldn't resist.

[Scam-o-note: for people who don't follow American presidential politics - the real John Kerry is the junior Senator from Massachusetts. He got the Democratic nomination to run for President in 2004, lost in the general election and is now back in the Senate (

He is not to be confused with Bob Kerrey, currently president of the New School in New York City, former Senator from Nebraska and before that governor of Nebraska. Kerrey and Kerry are both Vietnam veterans (Navy), and Democrats.]


Date: Wed, 16 Feb 2005
From: "anthony asada"
To: Myself, and about 50 others in the CC field, including John Kerry and a couple other Senators

Dearest,James Bennett
I wish to solicit your help in migrating to your country and assistance with my funds.

Briefly, I am a Sierra Leonean National and the son of late Dr and Mrs. MAXWELL ASADA. Until their death, my father was the General overseer of the Diamond Mine in Kanema Sierra Leone. The military forces loyal to the Government of Ahmed TIJAN KABBAH invaded our house and assassinate my father and killed my mother also .The (RUF) mistaking him for his brother MIKE ASADA who is the deputy to the leader of the revolutionary United Front (RUF ) FODAY SANKOH. After this incident i knew i was not safe in my country any more so i gathered some valuables in our family villa and escaped for my dear life in the company of my junior sister to Abidjan Cote d'Ivoire.

Among the valuables was a file that contained details of a deposit my father made in a security company in Abidjan Cote d'Ivoire. He deposited 10.5 million US dollars contained in a trunk box in my name as containing family father made this money from the sale of Gold and diamonds during his time as the General overseer.

Now that we are in Abidjan and verified the transaction, we need your assistance to move this funds out of Cote d'Ivoire for investment in your country as we cannot invest here due to its nearest to our country and the war still going on there. We ask you to scout for a viable and lucrative business, so that we can invest wisely.
We have it in mind to give your 20% of the total sum (10.5 million US Dollars), and 15% share in any investment we will embark upon if you assist us. We will also set aside 5% of the funds for ancillary expenses which you will make in course of this transaction- fax messages, phone calls, air tickets etc.
This fortune we have revealed to you should remain confidential as it only you who we have told about it. This transaction, needs and deserves to confidential between you and my family as you our parent are on longer alive. Please get back to me on receipt of this message for futher directives. Note that this transaction is risk free.
Best regards


From: John Kerry
Date: 2/20/2005

Hello, and I hope this letter meets you in great health.

I read your mail, which arrived in my usual address at

I would like to assist you with this transaction. Your story brought tears to my eyes in a manner that I hadn't seen since November.

Since my usual government e-mail is strictly monitored because of anti-terror regulations in my homeland, I am forced to use this alternate e-mail source in order to prevent potential Republican interference in this business. Due to this, we will have to leave all conversations to this e-mail only.

I trust that should be acceptable to you.

Please tell me everything that needs to be done.

God bless,

John Kerry


From: anthony asada
Date: 2/20/2005

Dearest Senator john,

I Thank you very much for your mail and your willingness to assist me in this transaction,may Almighty God grant you favour but one thing we need is trust and nothing more which will make this transaction to be successful and mind you that this money was in a metallic box and it was deposited and registered as family valuables for security reasons in my name.

Note: that this fund is not in a bank so it will not be possible for me to transfer 1% of the fund.The fund is been deposited in a security company as containing family valuables and for no reason must the company know that the box contains money. I am an orphan of 21years old,I live in Abidjan capital city of Cote D'Ivoire.I will scan and forward my identification card to you to you later as things progresses.

I am also happy that you have promised to help me out from my present predicament.Actually,it is not easy to trust someone that you have not met nor seen before.But may God make us to trust each other,since he is our creator.

Before sending you this mail I prayed and fasted for 21days before God reveal to me that you are the trust worthy person that will help me out of this plight of mine.

Note: that The security company doesn't know that the content of the consignment is money its is only you and I, so it has to be kept confidential and mind you that this money is the only hope I am having and also we will use this money to start a new life and a very good investment in your country which you will become the caretaker and also part of it will be use to build Motherless Babies home and help the tsunami victims because of the good thing that the good lord has done for me by keeping me alive.

I could have liked you to come over to this country so that we can go together to the security company and retreive the consignment as my family friend and guardian but due to the political crisis in this country I contacted the security company and they told me that they have a way to deliver the consignment to you through diplomatic courier means to your country which mean that the consignment will not be open until it got to your door step diplomatically.

I will like you to contact the security company right away and tell them that you are the family friend to Dr Maxwell Asada and that you want them to give you their requirement to cargo the consignment with security code no# (AF1886PY)to you in your country and tell them that the content of the consignment is family valuables.

This is the contact of the security company:

Contact person :Dr.Michael Benson(Director of operation)
Email or
Tel :0022507609416
Fax :0022508119527

I am waiting for your urgent response as soon as you finish discussing with them.

I will Attach the certificate of deposit and agreement letter which the security company gave my father when he deposited the consignment and declared the contents as family valuables for security reasons upon your response.

Thank you and God bless you.

My Dearest One,note that,I have entrusted my last hope in your hands by given you the contact of the security company and as soon as you contact the security company,kindly get back to me.


Date: 2/21/2005

Greetings and a humble good morning again to you.

It was nice to read your e-mail this morning. The good that this will do is giving me a boost on this day, which is President's Day here in the United States. I hope you will join me in wishing a happy birthday to the great George Washington.

I was wondering if it would be a problem if someone of my stature was to contact this shipping company. While it was you that made contact with me, they might feel threatened by having a powerful and famous politician contact them. Would you please make them aware that I will be in contact with them?

Reporting for Duty,

John Kerry


Date: 2/22/2005

Dear Mr John Kerry,

Greetings to you in the name of our lord.I am very happy to receive your kind and lovely mail to me and i have informed the security company that you will be contacting them in regards my inheritance that is in their custody.

I am most honoured by your wish to assist me as an orphan knowing fully well my present predicaments and may the good lord bless you real good.

Sir,I will like to come and join you in your country as soon as the transfer of my inheritance consignment is made.How many kids have you?and what are your plans for me in investing this funds because i would like to look into the area of real estate management and stock exchange.

Attached is the picture when my late father when he signed the agreement deed with the security company for your careful study.

Please kindly get back to me as soon as you have received information from the security company and please keep this information confidential as this is the only hope i am having now to a better life.

I thank you and God bless you.

Your's sincerely,


Date: 2/22/2005

I am afraid I could not see any attachments attached to the message you sent me, and it was quite disappointing to me. I thought it would be a nice way to get to know you.

Of course, there are many photos of me around the Internet that you can see - some not so flattering - LOL!

I would like to see the photograph, and also be made aware that the security company is aware that I will be contacting them. I don't want them to be intimidated.

With approval of this message,

John Kerry


Who would have thought the Republicans would have such an influence on 419ers?


Subject: Happy to hear from you
Date: 2/25/2005

Dear Sir, I thank you for your mail and i will do exactly as you have said by being the intermediary and i am glad the security company have contacted you. I will go to the company at once and get back to you with the coutcome. Thank you very much sir and may God bless you always.

Your's sincerely, Anthony.


Subject: outcome fron company.
Date: 2/26/2005

Dear Sir,

I have reached the company and explained to them what you have told me.They said you should provide them with the address where they will ship the consignment to so that they will conclude all the shipment arrangement and Get back to me with all the cost.

Kindly send the address to them sir so that they will know the cost of shipment to your address.

Thank you sir and May God bless you.

Your1s sincerely,


Date: 2/27/2005

It was nice to read that news this morning.

I will attempt to arrange a secure address this morning. It is not that easy when you are a man of my stature as most shipments to me are inspected by the secret sevice.

There is a storage facility where I keep my 107 purple hearts that I received it 'nam for pulling 10 entire platoons out of foxholes. I'll see if they can receive it. In the meantime, please make sure the security company is aware of the delays and potential security issues.


Senator John Kerry


Subject: Good day Sir.
Date: 2/27/2005

Thank you for your mail and may God bless you always.

I prayed for you today at the church because a bishop came from Ghana to come and minister in our local church today and it was really exciting.

Please i will be going to the travel agency to the know the cost of travelling to your country so that i will start preparing in earnest.

Thank you sir and i await your mail once you have contacted the security company with your address.

May God bless you and your family.

Your's faithfully,



Would this address be acceptable? Xosder Shipping and Storage
4 Yawkey Way
Boston, MA


Subject: Please stop writing me
Date: 3/3/2005

Dear Sir,

After i came from a prayer revival yersternight,i concluded not to continue this transaction with you anymore because you are not convincing.

I dont want you to sit on my inheritance because you have just lost to the president bush and for that reason you are broke and you will want to use my inheritance to replace your lost.

Please discontinue to write me because the holy ghost has spoken to me to desist from you.

I thank you and God bless you.

I dont want you to steal my money.


Date: 3/3/2005

Have you been in contact with Karl Rove? That sounds like something he'd say.

As dutifully as ever,

John Kerry


Date: 3/6/2005

By your refusal to respond to me, I have decided that your name belongs on the TransContininental Watchlist of Anti-Trustworthiness. (TWAT)

Feel free to examine your entry here. Note that your presence on this list will mean that you will spend the rest of your days sleeping on a dirt floor, with nightmares of trunk boxes eternally trapped with security companies polluting your little boy brain.

Now if you repent, I will remove your entry from the TWAT list. Otherwise, the world will laugh at your feeble-mindedness for eternity.

With renewed duty,


final parting shot

Not only did it take him several days to write this, but it seems Anthony was so mad he forgot his scamming name.


Subject: Re: you
Date: 3/10/2005