WHAT'S YOUR POISSON?

updated July 27 2005

Ted Kozinski, in repeated and ironic strokes of bad timing, keeps winning lotteries.

MRS. SANDRA BLANCO - imaginary administrator of imaginary lottery and alter ego (or flunky of...)
BARRISTER JOHN NATALIA - scammer
MR.STEVE HOWARD - CBC Banking Corporation (scammer middle management)

versus
TED KOZINSKI - the UnaScamBaiter
He may have trouble forming lasting relationships, but the math department at UC Berkeley didn't take on fools.
[Neither did the math department at Stanford, but that's another story.]
[Any resemblance to anyone you ever heard of is just that.]


SANDRA BLANCO, EPHEMERAL LOTTERY LADY

From: "Elgordo Lotteria" <info@elgordolotteria.com>
Subject: Re: Award Notification .Final Notice.
Date: 21 Jul 2005

CO/Cordoba No 21 Planta 2-A
28204 Madrid-Spain.
TEL/FAX:+3463502878
From_the desk of the Vice President
Internatioanl Promotions /Price Award Dept.
REF NO: EGS/2551256003/02
BATCH NO: 14/0017/IPD

Attn:Stick Winner.
Re: Award Notification .Final Notice.

We are pleased to inform you, that as a result of our RECENT LOTTERY DRAWS HELD on the 31st of January 2005.Your e-mail address attached to ticket number:11 23 34 38 48 49 46 750 with serial number:2113 ? 05 drew lucky numbers:13 15 ? 22 ? 37 39 which consequently won in the 2nd category. You have therefore been approved for a lump sum pay of US$715,810.00 (SEVEN HUNDRED AND FIFTEEN THOUSAND, EIGHT HUNDRED AND TEN US DOLLARS ONLY) Note:That All participants in this lottery program have been selected randomly through a computer ballot system drawn from over 20,000 companies and 30,000,000 individual email addresses from all search engines and web sites.This promotional program takes place every year,and is promoted and sponsored by eminent personalities like the Sultan of Brunei,Bill Gates of microsoft inc and other corporate organisations.This is to encourage the use of the internet and computers worldwide.

For security purpose and clarity,we advise that you keep your winning information confidential until your claims have been processed and your money remitted to you.This is part of our security protocol to avoid double claims and unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants.We look forward to your active participation in our next 4 million euro's slot. You are requested to contact your clearance/cliam Legal Practitioner (Lawyer) Barrister.John Natalia Eurocity chambers & Associate. He his your Attorney in respect to your Award winning contact him with this Email: barristerjohn_natalia@pluno.com for processing and remittance of your prize money to a designated account of your choice All winnings must be claimed not later than one month After the date of this notice. Please note,in order to avoid unnecessary delays and complications,remember to quote your reference number and batch numbers in all correspondence. Furthermore,should there be any change of address do inform Your Lawyer as soon as possible. Congratulations!!!once more and thank you for being part of our promotional program.

Sincerely,
MRS. SANDRA BLANCO.
VICE PRESIDENT.
INTL LOTERIA PRIMITIVA.

TED KOZINSKI

Date: Thu, 21 Jul 2005
To: info@elgordolotteria.com
Cc: barristerjohn_natalia@pluno.com

Dear Sir,

This is astounding news. I have calculated the odds of winning to be 1:172,567,456 with a standard deviation of 37,456,456 using a poisson distribution with a alpha of 72,309,394. I am pinching myself, I think.

Ted Kozinski



BARRISTER JOHN NATALIA

<barristerjohn_natalia@teclanceenterprise.teclance.com>

Attn: Ted Kozinski
Euro City Cahmbers & Associate.
Postdamer Platz 10
Berlin - Germany.

Thanks for the quick response.As regards to the Lottery Winning Award i am the Lawyer in charge for the remitting of your Money.
I will like you to provide the informations below for the processing of your winning.

First and Last Name:
Date of birth:
Home Address:
City:
State: Zip- Code
Country:
Tel Number and Fax Number.
Occupation:
Method of payment : Cheque Or By T/T Bank Transfer

Please get back to me with the information above so i can facilitates the Remmiting of your Money to you as soon as possible.
Looking forward to hear from you soonest.

Your's cordialy ,
Barrister John Natalia.



TED KOZINSKI

Date: Thu, 21 Jul 2005
To: barristerjohn_natalia@pluno.com

Dear Sir,

I am impressed by your efficiency. Here is the information you require:

First and Last Name: Theodore Kozinski
Date of birth: May 22, 1942
Home Address: P.O. Box 8500
City: Florence
State: Colorado Zip- Code 81226
Country: United States
Tel Number 719-784-9464 Fax Number 719-784-5290.
Occupation: Mathematician

Ted Kozinski



BARRISTER JOHN NATALIA

ATTN:Ted Kozinski ,

WE ARE PLEASE TO INFORM YOU THAT EURO CITY CHAMBERS & ASSOCIATE HAS COMPLETED THE PROCESSING OF YOUR WINNING PRIZE WHICH IS $715.810.00 YOUR PAYMENT ORDER & INFORMATION HAS TO BE SEND TO THE PAYMENT BANK FOR IMMEDIATE PAYMENT,SO YOU ARE REQUIRED TO CONTACT THE PAYMENT BANK FOR THE TRANSFER OF YOUR FUND IMMEDIATELY.

YOU ARE REQUIRED TO FORWARD YOUR PAYMENT ORDER SLIP AND INFORMATION BY FAX OR BY ATTCHAED DOCUMENT(EMAIL) TO CBC BANK AS EVIDENCE,TO EFFECT THE TRANSFER OF YOUR FUND.

YOU ARE REQUIRED TO CALL THE ASS.PAYMENT DIRECTOR ON HIS DIRECT LINE BELOW TO INFORM HIM THAT YOU ARE SENDING THE PAYMENT ORDER SLIP AND YOUR INFORMATION TO HIM BY E-MAIL OR FAX SO THAT HE WILL BE AWARE OF YOUR CONTACTING HIM.

CBC BANKING CORPORATION
FOREIGN OPERATIONS DEPARTMENT.
BANK NAME: CBC BANK CORPORATION
LONDON - ENGLAND
TEL: +44-703-184-4764 / 44-703-184-768
FAX: +44-707-502-3579
E-MAIL:info@cbcbankcorp.org
NAME:STEVE HOWARD (ASS.PAYMENT DIRECTOR)

NOTE:FOR YOUR INFORMATION YOU WILL GIVE US 2% OF THE TOTAL PRIZE AFTER YOU CLAIM YOUR PRIZE,WHICH IS OUR COMMISSION SO CONTACT CBC BANK CORP'BERLIN GERMANY FOR THE TRANSFER OF YOUR FUND INTO YOUR CHOOSEN,AND GET BACK TO US FOR OUR BALLANCE.

YOUR'S SINCERELY,
BARRISTER.JOHN NATALIA.
EURO CITY CHAMBERS & ASSOCIATE.





TED KOZINSKI

Date: Fri, 22 Jul 2005
To: info@cbcbankcorp.org
Cc: barristerjohn_natalia@pluno.com

Dear Sir,

Please process my claim, the claim form is attached.

My personal information is:

First and Last Name: Theodore Kozinski
Date of birth: May 22, 1942
Home Address: P.O. Box 8500
City: Florence v State: Colorado Zip- Code 81226
Country: United States
Tel Number 719-784-9464 Fax Number 719-784-5290.

Thank you,
Ted Kozinski



MR.STEVE HOWARD

<info@cbcbankcorp.org>

ATTN: TED KOZINSKI

I GOT YOUR MAIL AND IT'S CONTENT WAS WELL UNDERSTOOD BY ME.

I WILL LIKE TO INFORM YOU THAT I WILL BE CONTACTING YOU BY 11 A:M TOMORROW MORNING FOR MORE INFORMATION ON THE TRANSFER OF YOUR FUND TO YOUR DESIGNATED ACCOUNT .

MEANWHILE ,I WILL LIKE YOU TO SEND TO ME IMMEDIATELY YOUR ACCOUNT DETAILS FOR CONFIRMATION BEFORE ANY EFFORT IS MADE FOR TRANSFER.

I AWAIT YOUR URGENT RESPONSE.
YOUR'S SINCERELY,
MR.STEVE HOWARD.

CBC Banking Corporation
Foreign Operations Department
London - Englanad
TEL: +44-703-184-4764 / 44-703-184-4768
FAX: +44-707-502-3579
E-MAIL:info@cbcbankcorp.org
Steve Howard ( Ass.Payment Director)



TED KOZINSKI

Date: Fri, 22 Jul 2005
To: CBC Bank
Cc: barristerjohn_natalia@pluno.com

Dear Sir,

You may transfer my prize money into the following account: Citibank, NA
153 E. 53rd Street
New York, NY 10043

phone: 212-7535880
fax: 212-4725092
routing 021000089
swift: citius33
acct: 62347852

Thank you in advance,
Ted Kozinski



MR.STEVE HOWARD

Dear Ted Kozinski,
Thanks for the mail and the Information you provided for the remittance of your Award Winning to your Designated Account.

We will effect payment Immedaitely ,But before this will be done i wil like you to provide the Garantee Claim Certificate.
If you do not have it you will have to fail back to your Lawyer in charge of your claim and clearance so that you will get the Gaurantee Claim Certificate.

Once we get thus Certificate from you we will effect payment to the Account you provided below.

Your's Sincerely,
Mr.Steve Howard.
CBC Banking Corporation



TED KOZINSKI

Date: Mon, 25 Jul 2005
To: barristerjohn_natalia@pluno.com
Cc: CBC Bank

Dear Sir,

The bank holding my prize money is requesting the following: Garantee Claim Certificate.

Ted Kozinski



They're getting antsy

MR.STEVE HOWARD

Dear Mr Ted Kozinski ,
I am wirtting to know if you have contacted the Lawyer in respect of the Certificate you are asked to forward to us.

Get back to me ASAP.
Thanks,
Mr.Steve Howard.
CBC Banking Corporation



BARRISTER JOHN NATALIA

Dear Ted Kozinski,

Thanks for the mail ,It was recieved and it's content was well understood by me. As a matter of fact i will like you to know that the Certificate that you are requesting for is not within my reach for now.

But i assure you that i will be able to get it.As i know the Certificate is presently in Spain ,where the Elgordo Lotteria was Drawn and Played.

For the main time we not been able to forward the Certificate to CBC banking Coperation will definately disqualify you from claiming the Winning as a result that the Certificate is a kinda of evidence from the Elgordo Lotteria Company .So we not been capable of providing it will lead to the termination of the Claim ,But i as your Attorney/ Representative in charge of this claim will see to it that you will get your claim.

I made enquiries immediately i got your mail and i got to find out that i will have to go to spain to get the Original Copy of this Document and have it scanned and sent to CBC Banking Corperation.

For me to be able to fly to Spain i will have to fly by AIR and you will have to take responsibility for the Air Ticket and my Local and International while geting the Certificate in Spain .The amount for everything (AIR TICKET AND EXPENSES) is US$1250.

Meanwhile you will also have to pay me my consultation fee before i will have to make any more effort to the remitting of your Money.And my consultation fee is only US$750.

So the total amount required for this is US$2000.With all due respect i will like you to make the payment Via Western Union with the payment information below.

First Name: Ernest
Last Name: Adam
State: Berlin
Country: Germany.

Note: You are to make this payment within the next 48Hrs so that i will leave immediately for spain. Get back to with the MTCN Number ,Senders State and Country ,Senders Full Name.I am sure that CBC Banking Corperation will be awaiting our urgent response .

Any more Information do not hesitate to ask.
Your's Cordialy,
Barrister.John Natalia.



TED KOZINSKI

Date: Mon, 25 Jul 2005
To: barristerjohn_natalia@pluno.com
Cc: info@cbcbankcorp.org

Dear Sir,

There are too many complications here. I shall pay you when I receive my prize winnings, and not before. I shall even pay you extra if you desire.

If you are not confident that I will receive these winnings, then neither am I.

Ted Kozinski



mugu's going in for the kill

MR.STEVE HOWARD

Attn:Mr Ted Kozinski ,
I will likew you to know that you are not paying to me nor the Elgordo Lotteria to get your funds.A stated to the mail you forward to me been sent to you about bill you should pay by Barrister.John Natalia.

Note the Money he asked you to pay is for him to be able to fly to SPain (Air ticket).so that he will get the Gaurantee of Winning from Elgordo Lotteria. And also you paying his consultation fee.He his an Accreditted Lawyer to Elgordo Lotteria ,So all my advice is that you should fall back to him and disuise the payment terms with him.Fall back to him and make the payment immediately as you may know that time is now longer on you side.

The earlier the better ,for you .
Thanks,
Mr.Steve Howard,



BARRISTER JOHN NATALIA

Dear Mr Ted Kozinski,
I got your mail.I wish i could do better . But for me to be ale to get the Certificate for you i will have to fly to Spain to get it and you know i must pay for my fligth .

MY getting it would not have been easy ,but due to the fact that i am an accredited Attorney to Elgordo Lotteri, That is why i can make my way in.

All you have to do now is to pay the total sum of US$2000 so that i will emerg for the Certificate Immediately.

Thanks,
Barrister.John Natalia.



$2000 for a piece of paper? maybe I should send the mugu on a carnival cruise too

TED KOZINSKI

Date: Tue, 26 Jul 2005
To: barristerjohn_natalia@pluno.com
Cc: info@cbcbankcorp.org

Dear Sir,

Alright then, I will compromise with you. I shall call the airline directly and purchase the plane ticket for you. In return you shall lay out the money for the certificate. For undertaking this risk I shall offer you $10,000 of my prize winnings. This is to ensure that this is a legitimate matter. I will not hand over $2,000 in advance to a total stranger. If you do not accept I shall find someone else to manage this affair.
Ted Kozinski



BARRISTER JOHN NATALIA

Dear Mr Ted,
If you can't send 2000US$ to a stranger,I hope you can send 1250$ to me for my local, international espenses and my consultation fee,while in spain to help you get the Certificate.

You have your way ,If you think you can get someone else to help you do the claiming go ahead and se if it will work,I am an accreditted Lawyer to Elgordo Lotteria that is why i can be able to get the Certificate and also finalize your winning.

I ve nothing much to say because i am a man of few words. Fine by me you buying the Airticket.But note if you buy it and i couldn't fly with the Ticket Just consider the Winning closed and you forget about the Money.

The Airticket here is 750US$.You can buy the airticket directly from the airline.

But you will have to send 500US$ to me for my local and international espenses. Then US$750 for my consultation fee.This is making US$1250.

So the total amount you will send minus the airtick fee is US$1250.
The Payment Information is below
First Name: Ernest
Last Name: Adam
State: Berlin
Country: Germany.

Meanwhile i shall be ready to get confirmation from you about the airticket you will be purchasing.

Thanks,
Barrister.John Natalia.



TED KOZINSKI

Date: Tue, 26 Jul 2005
To: barristerjohn_natalia@pluno.com
Cc: info@cbcbankcorp.org

Dear Sir,

You have failed my little test of trust. It is apparent that you do not trust me, but you expect me to trust you. Do not take me for a fool, sir. That settles this affair, does it not? I no longer have use for your services.

Ted Kozinski



TED KOZINSKI

Date: Tue, 26 Jul 2005
To: CBC Bank
Cc: barristerjohn_natalia@pluno.com

Dear Sir,

If I won a prize then send the money to the account I gave you. Please spare me the dog and pony show about certificates and lawyers. When Ophrah gives a prize she does not ask for certificates or lawyers to go on plane trips. Ophrah simply hand you the keys to your car and then heads off to Jenny Craig. If I were a good-looking rich successful man like Steadman I would be associating with the likes of Tyra Banks instead, or Halle Berry if he really poured on the charm. But then again Halle got it on with Billy Bob Thornton so maybe there is hope for me yet.

But I digress. I have no interest in enriching a flim-flam cattle lawyer. All of the money being mentioned here is directed at removing money FROM my trousers, rather than adding TO them. You can imagine sir that my interest is waning, not unlike having a hardon wilting when you are having high quality intercourse with Fran Drescher until she opens up her yap and spoils the atmosphere. YOU sir, are the one spoiling the atmosphere.

Sir, your requirements are suspect, if you are not able to send me my share of the winnings, deducting any traditional fees, then I am no longer interested.

Ted Kozinski


Ted may or may not hear back from Los Gordos - there have been quite a lot of arrests of scammers in Spain recently. See "Estafarama" link in news section of main page, or search the web on "Operation Nile" and "Marbella". Olé!


Apparently this Lad was not swept up with ther other 300 or so.

BARRISTER JOHN NATALIA

Dear Ted,
I got your mail ,and i couldn't believe that you will say i do not trust you.I am doing all my possible best in seeing that you get your winning ,But you do not want to follow my directions.

I trust you ,that is why we said that once you get your Winning ,that you should send the 2% to us.WE would have take it from here but as a matter of fact no money/fee is been deducted from the Original winning till after the Winner get his winning Money.

So i don't know what to tell you to know that i am realy serious about this all and to see that we put this to a succesfull end.
The best i could do now as a result that i can not deduct the 2000US$ from your winning ,is to give you my words that you wil get your winning. If i get this Certificate i will forward it to you in the original copy.then you after going through it will send the Original copy to the Bank via Post or Coureir.

I will fly to Spain with the money i will lend from a Financier,i will return by Friday,But i must give this Financier back the money by Monday.

After my writting this mail,I will leave for Spain tomorrow Morning and will return by Friday.But you must assure me that once i return by Friday and show you the scanned copy of the Gaurantee Claim Certificate ,that you will send the 2000US$ to me imeediately so that i will settle the debt.If you know that you will do as i say then you should write me back as soon as you recieve this mail.

So that i will go ahead and collect this Money from the Financier and leave for Spain tomorrow.

Thanks and hoping to hear from you.
Barrister.John Natalia



TED KOZINSKI

Dear Sir,

So we are in agreement then. When you show me the scanned certificate, I will get the prize money and I shall send you $2,000, you have my word on this.

Ted Kozinski


BARRISTER JOHN NATALIA

Dear Sir,
You ve misunderstood my word.

There is no day that the Bank will accept scanned one from you.
I said i will get the certificate then show you the scanned copy.if you send the 2000US$ i lend from a financier then i will send to you by postage the Original copy of the Certificate of which you will as well send to CBC Bank.

If this is ok by you let me know so that i will give you the scanned copy of the certificate by tomorrow ,because i am now in spain.
Thanks.



TED KOZINSKI

Dear Sir,

I will scan a photo of $2,000 for you. This is the money I shall send you after I receive the certificate and collect my prize. You have my word.

Ted Kozinski






[This picture is one of many used by the Lads to impress potential victims. The reader may find it useful to compare with other exciting pictures of money on the
Show Me The Money Page. Surely the Lad will recognize this picture as one he may himself have used? Will he be amused?]


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