THE MAN WHO COULD NOT SPELL HIS NAME

Another tale of silly scammer versus hyphenated foreign agent.
Cast:
Dr. David Otl - scammer du jour
Raji Williams - his security company contact and alter ago or possibly apprentice or possibly "master"
Sir Marmite Luny-Binns - of the Foreign Office
Agent Ilichy Miracsky - ditto


DR. DAVID OTL

From: "DR. David Otl" <davidotl@post.cz>
Reply-To: davidotl@juno.com
To: Sir Marmite
Subject: VERY URGENT .
Date: Sun, 7 Sep 2003 11:43:22 -0700

DR.David otl
Financial Director
Independent National Electoral Commission (INEC)
Lagos - Nigeria

Sir,

INVESTMENT & CONFIDENTIAL BUSINESS PROPOSAL

It is my warmest pleasure writing you this confidential business offer irrespective of the fact that we have not met or done anything that will re-impose absolute confidence but nevertheless. I am very determined to communicate you with much beleive that you will give my proposal a consideration.

As earlier stated I am Dr.David otl a Financial Director working with Inec. My Agency is in charge of conducting elections in my country Nigeria and by the virtue of my unique position in office as the Financial Director. I was elevated by the commission to become the chairman of foreign contract tender board committee whose responsibility is to award and supervise foreign contract to ensure it is executed promptly.

Consequently, I the chairman of the tender board committee in collaboration with two other top committee members over-invoiced certain contract for the supply of electoral equipments used in the conduct of April 2003 general election. The initial cost of the contract was pegged at US$30 million, base on the feasibility that was done but while submitting my report to the office of the presidency for final approval, we deliberately inflated the cost to an excess amount of US$10 million making the cost to be US$40 million.

Right now, the gist of contacting you is we are having difficulties to claim the extra fund which is US$10milliom due to certain laws enacted by the government guiding civil service code of conduct Bureau which prohibits top civil servants working under Government establishment from operating offshore or foreign Account and this situation has kept us in a fix to openly come forward to claim the outstanding balance mentioned, hence after series of private meetings we decided to make contact in order to get a reliable foreign partner whom we will forward his or her Credentials to claim the funds based on mutual trust and agreement.

In a nutshell, we need your assistance and support to claim this funds so that once the funds is claimd, we will be using for investment at the later time that is convenient for us, we will come over to your country after the funds must have been transferred to meet you and collect our own percentage while you will keep the rest as yours. For your support and total dedication to realize the objectives of this operation, you shall be entitled to 20% of the sum total while 70% of the fund belongs to the three officials involved in the deal.And 10% is setaside for tax as your country may reguest. Note, you are vividly assured that you will not be subjected to any kind of risk for your support and involvement in this venture because we have piloted a good strategy to ensure the operations goes smoothly of which we have targeted four Banking working days duration to accomplished our aim and should you find interest in this confidential transaction please let me have your response as quickly as possible and indicate your phone number to call you for a brief discussion.

Kindly treat this matter absolutely confidential because the officials involved are still in service and some of us intend to resign our apointment immediately the transaction is finalized. I look forward to hearing positively from you while further details will be given as soon as I get your response.

Best Regards
David Otl.


SIR MARMITE LUNY-BINNS

Date: Wed Sep 10, 2003 4:36:49 AM US/Pacific

Dear Dr Otl

I am bemused how you have discovered this e-mail address but your suggestions, although rather unexpected and rather outlandish, have certainly aroused curiosity.

If you can assure us of your discretion and honesty, rather essential as I am sure you will recognise, then we would be pleased to receive more information. I will be certain to draw them to the attention of those who will be best placed to take advantage of them.

I will be away shortly with the Queens Advisor Sir Bernard Manning, on the annual bison hunt in Scotland, but will able to reply to any further communication upon my return.

I am sir,

MARMITE

Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Regis Court Chamberlain
The Court of St James
Broadmoor
London FU2 GIT


DR. DAVID OTL

Subject: INFORMATIONS.
Date: Thu, 11 Sep 2003 00:12:30 GMT

DEAR MARMITE LUNY-BINNS,

I AM IN RECIEPT OF YOUR MAIL AND THANK FOR THE CONCERN.
PLEASE I WOULD WANT YOU TO GO AHEAD AND ASSIST ME.
BECAUSE IS NOT GOING TO COST ANYTHING.
ONLY WHAT YOU ARE TO DO IS FOR YOU TO SEND ME YOUR BANKING ACCOUNT INFORMATIOM,YOUR PRIVATE TELEPHONE ,AND YOUR FAX NUMBER SO THAT YOU CAN SEE THE TRUE PICTURE OF THE TRANSACTION. AND AS YOU CONFIRM TO ME THAT YOU HAVE RECIEVE THE MONEY INTO YOUR ACCOUNT I CAN NOW ARRANGE AND MEET WITH YOU IN YOUR COUNTRY FOR THE SHARING AND I HAVE NO INTENTION TO BRING BACK MY SHARE OF THE MONEY TO MY COUNTRY.IWILL INVEST MY SHARE BASED ON YOUR ADVICE.
PLEASE DEAR DO ME THIS FAVOUR TO SEND THE INFORMATIONS TO ME SO THAT WE COULD FORGE AHEAD TO CONCLUDE WITHIN FOUR DAYS BANKING WORKING DAYS.PLEASE TRY FOR ME.
THANKS AND GOD BLESS.
DAVID OTL.


SIR MARMITE LUNY-BINNS

Date: Mon Sep 15, 2003 4:55:25 AM US/Pacific
To: davidotl@juno.com

My Dear Mr Otl

After some discussion between Ourselves we have decided to acceed to this, somewhat unorthodox request, albeit with some reservations. We have be persuaded by your somewhat obseqious pleadings, typical of a colonial.

We shall use the Wankipoos account, details as follows:

ac number 6969419000 - 1

c/o Wankipooz Bank
221b Baker Street
Minge Topiary
London
FU2 GIT

our financial manager there is Mr Glassov Vimto.

In the meantime you may call me on 906 174 3675.

I do hope that this is not going to be a waste of time as we are very busy here at the Palace..
v Regards

MARMITE

Sir Marmite Luny-Binns DFC
Regis Court Chamberlain
The Court of St James
Broadmoor
London FU2 GIT


DR. DAVID OTL

From: davidotl@juno.com
To: Sir Marmite
Subject: PLS YOUR FAX NUMBER.
Date: Mon, 15 Sep 2003 17:25:10 GMT

DEAR MARITE,

THANKS FOR YOUR EMAIL AND THE INFORMATION WHICH WE ENABLE US TO PROCEED THE TRANSACTION. PLS I WILL EQUALLY WANT YOU TO SEND TO ME YOUR FAX NUMBER TODAY IF IT WILL BE POSSIBLE BY YOU BECAUSE THIS WILL ENABLE THE PAYING AUTHORITIES TO REACH YOU.
THANKS.

DR.DAVID OTL.


SIR MARMITE LUNY-BINNS

Date: Tue Sep 16, 2003 7:43:30 AM US/Pacific

Dear Dr Otl

The nearest fax number is downstairs in the Kustard Pavilion, but I will be brought the items by my trusty butler Levy. The number is :

(0) 906 635 7674.

If you do not succeed first time please persevere with the sending, as the line can be unreliable. Please hurry this along my dear fellow, and with none of the lackadaisacal speed common out there.

MARMITE


DR. DAVID OTL

Subject: ready for call.
Date: Mon, 15 Sep 2003 20:41:41 GMT

Dear Marmite Luny-Binns,
your identity has been forwarded to the bank abraod,so now, please do not heastate to answer them when they call you.and co-operate with them as you can see that i have trying all my possible best to make sure that we shall smile at last. moreso, do not misinterpret when you speak with them on phone.if you feel to call me for any question,call me with this number 234-80-3304-1221.

i await for your call.
davidotl


SIR MARMITE LUNY-BINNS

Date: Tue Sep 16, 2003 7:44:53 AM US/Pacific

Dear Mr Twottle

Is your phone working?

Marmite


DR. DAVID OTL

Subject: please comfirm your fax number.
Date: Wed, 17 Sep 2003 10:47:37 GMT

hello marmite,
I recieve you mail,but the number you sent to me,is it your fax number.
please comfirm the number very well.


SIR MARMITE LUNY-BINNS

Date: Wed Sep 17, 2003 7:27:28 AM US/Pacific

My Dear Twottle

Perhaps I wrote the wrong number. I remember being a bit worse for wear after clubbing with Candy and her friends.

Here is a fresh number to try:

906 011 0004

Miracsky assures me that it is within walking distance of the stables and so he will be able to check it often during the daily groomings.

Please hurry dear sir as I am a busy man and do not wish spread myself too thinly with such business, which quite frankly is a distraction from those onerous affairs of state I am obliged to perform.



MARMITE
DR. DAVID OTL

Subject: call mr raji william immedaitely.
Date: Wed, 17 Sep 2003 11:01:53 GMT

hello marmite,
yes,my phone is working,but have they call you from netherland were the money is been deposited?.if they did not call you for now please contact mrRaji williams tell him that you call him on behalf of nigerian inec chairman mr davidotl. he his the banker who will assist you clear the fund on my behalf.this is his number 31613667472 call him immediately.

devidotl.


DR. DAVID OTL

Subject: CHECK YOUR PHONE NUMBER.
Date: Wed, 17 Sep 2003 14:27:10 GMT

DEAR MR "Marmite Luny-Binns",

I'VE BEEN TRYING TO CALL YOU BUT THE PHONE NUMBER YOU SEND TO ME WAS UNREACHABLE AND TRY AS MUCH AS YOU CAN CHECK THE NUMBER SO THEY WILL CONTACT YOU EAESLY.PLEASE BEAR IN MIND THAT I DO NOT WANT TO DELAY THIS TRANSACTION BECAUSE I WOULD LIKE TO RESIGH AFTER THIS DEAL CLICKS,I REPEAT AGAING CONFIRM YOUR PHONE NUMBER.I WOULD LIKE YOU TO TELL ME APPROPRIATE TIME I WILL CALL YOU SO THAT WE SPEAK ON PHONE.

DAVIDOTL


SIR MARMITE LUNY-BINNS

Date: Wed Sep 17, 2003 7:38:45 AM US/Pacific

Mr Twottle

You will remember to whom you speak. I am not accustomed to this tone. It is hardly my fault if your friends are unable to utilise basic telephonic skills, handicapped no doubt by some backwoods schooling. I assure you that my phone is working, I took a call from Her Majesty's financial advisor Sir Lonslo of Tossov only ten minutes ago, and the man was a clear as a bell.

If they really cannot contact me on the first number let them try this one:

906 638 0995

This should get the result you deserve. If I am not there ask for Glassov Vimto.

MARMITE

[Given the devious ways of the Foreign Office Staff, the above telephone number may well be that of the Secret Service in one US state or another. Or a towing company. Or the weather recording.]


RAJI WILLIAMS, SECURITY COMPANY GUY

From: "Raji Williams" <rajiwilliams@lycos.com>
To: Sir Marmite
Subject: LETTER OF DEPOSIT AND ACCEPTANCE
Date: Wed, 17 Sep 2003 12:12:53 -0400

OCEAN DIPLOMATIC SERVICE
(COURIER & SECURITIES HANDLERS)

AMSTERDAM-NETHERLANDS

OUR REF: O/D/S: DIP” GRP-01.

ATTN: Mr Luny Binns

DATE: 17th/09/03.

Sir,

LETTER OF DEPOSIT AND ACCEPTANCE

This is to inform the above named person that we have in our safe deposit a Consignment from the Democratic Republic Of Nigeria , the 1 Box’s marked no. XX 126 XX which was initially deposited by Mr David OT

You are to come to Amsterdam - Holland with the following:

1) Photocopy of your international Passport for proper Identification
2) Photocopy of your Power of Attorney from Mr David OT
3) Yo u will be required to make payment for the Administrative, Storage (Vault Charges) Clearance and dutch customs charges this has been calculated to be 11 500.00 euros Cash. An official receipt will be issued to you upon the payment of these charges before you will be made to fill out the necessary documentation to release your consignment.

You are to proceed to Amsterdam on the 22nd of SEPTEMBER 2003. If you are coming by Air, you should send to us your Flight schedule so that we may make Hotel reservations for you and I will appoint our protocol officer to receive you at the airport and accompany you to our office. If the date as stated above is not convenient for you, then please do make another appointment or call on the Director direct line: Tel +31 613 667 472

This consignment is protected under the Diplomatic Immunity Core and is therefore under License with the World Wide Diplomatic agreement of the Unit ed Natio n Consti t ution.

We make delivery only on appointment and after the payment have been made for conveyance.

Thanks,

Yours Sincerely,
Dr. Raji Williamsv Director.

TEL : +31 630 664 676 / FAX : +31 645 570 330

POSTBUS 2675 1118 CN AMSTERDAM, THE NETHERLANDS.

THE OCEAN DIPLOMATIC SERVICE IS UNDER LINCENSE WITH THE DIPLOMATIC CONVENTION OF GENEVA.


SIR MARMITE LUNY-BINNS

Date: Wed Sep 17, 2003 12:57:33 PM US/Pacific
To: rajiwilliams@lycos.com
Subject: Re: LETTER OF DEPOSIT AND ACCEPTANCE

My Dear Mr Williams

I am very pleased that things have been handled so professionally at your end, and none of the details as outlined should present any significant problems.

My man Miracsky has made the necessary flight reservations on BA flight 69 and we will be arriving at the airport at about 4.00pm.

Due to the discreet nature of this business I would be grateful if you could maintain secrecy over our arrival. For Our own part We shall be travelling light, under assumed names and with a minimum entourage. Just myself, my niece Candice, Miracsky and My two bodyguards, Morecombe and Wise will suffice I rather think.

Please ensure that the hotel is of suitable nature for a group of our standing. I know that Candy prefers a waterbed and I do so like a round of golf in the morning.

Please confirm all the details as soon as possible.

Perhaps we may also bring a small gesture of good will for all your kind efforts? Shall we say 50 golden dorks from the royal mint?

MARMITE

[Sir Marmite's "niece" is in fact Princess Candice Windsor, and we think he travels rather a lot with her. Together they have wasted a lot of scammer time.]


DR. DAVID OTL

From: davidotl@juno.com
To: Sir Marmite
Subject: Re: call mr raji william immedaitely.
Date: Thu, 18 Sep 2003 10:56:56 GMT

Hello mr luny binns,
i 'm very much glad when i recieve your mail,i want to reasure you that mr raji william will soon contact you.i know that you're ready to travell to nertherland amsterdam for the cleariance of the money on my behelf.just make sure that the number you provide for me now is correct and i have already forwarded the telephone number you sent to me now, so please relax he will contact you any moment for now.but please try to contact mr raji william in case because according to him he said that the phone number you sent to me was unreachable so try call him with these number againg 31613667472.another thing is that what you ask me wether my dorgeman friend is seriouse?yes of couse he is seriouse that is why i hire him in these deal because he has been helping a lot of people in these kinds of deal and he has is own persentage like wise you too.thank you.

davidotl.


SIR MARMITE LUNY-BINNS

Date: Mon Sep 22, 2003 11:20:45 AM US/Pacific

My Dear Mr Twottle

I am afraid that I am having big problems with this transaction my dear chap. I simply cannot get that telephone number to work when I dial this Raj chap. I have tried (before being called away unexpectedly to adjudicate at the Ferret Racing at Ascot this weekend after Sir Phineas Fogg was taken ill.) What shall I do? I am loath to go any further in this matter as it quickly becoming such monkey business.

MARMITE


DR. DAVID OTL

Subject: Re: CHECK YOUR PHONE NUMBER.
Date: Thu, 18 Sep 2003 11:08:33 GMT

i have forwarded this 9066380995 telephone number you sent to me to them, just make sure that this number is correct and i will call you at any moment for now.

davidotl.


SIR MARMITE LUNY-BINNS

Date: Mon Sep 22, 2003 11:25:37 AM US/Pacific

Twottle

Why do you promise such things, keep me at all hours in the office, and then not deliver on your word? This is not the action of a gentleman, if I may say so. I am putting it down to the sluggish mentality sadly common to the ex-colonies, that such behaviour is now so commonplace.

I hope that I am proved wrong.


DR. DAVID OTL

Subject: HAVE YOU CALL MR RAJI WILLIAMS????.
Date: Fri, 19 Sep 2003 12:29:33 GMT

DEAR MR LUNY BINNS

HAVE YOU CALL MR RAJI WILLIAM?,I SENT TO HIM THE LAST NUMBER YOU SENT TO ME.PLAESE CALL HIM IMMEDIATELY BECAUSE WE ARE DELAYING THIS TRANSACTION AND AS I WAS SAYING THAT THESE THREE NUMBER 9066380995, 9060110004, 9066357674 YOU SENT TO ME IS NOT WORKING.I DO NOT KNOW WHY YOU STILL DELAY THIS DEAL,YOU HAVE TO GET INTOUCH WITH MR RAJI WILLIAM SO THAT HE WILL HELP YOU CLEAR THE MONEY ON MY BEHELF WHEN YOU GET TO NETHERLAND AMSTERDAM.PLEASE TELL ME YOUR MIND SO THAT I WILL KNOW NEXT ACTION TO TAKE.ONCE YOU SPEAK WITH MR RAJI WILLIAM ON PHONE THEN I WILL FORWARD TO YOU THE BANK DOCUMENT IN WHICH YOU WILL BE USE FOR THE CLEARIANCE OF THE MONEY WHEN YOU GET TO NETHERLAND.I REPEAT AGAIN CALL MR RAJI WILLIAMS IMMEDIATELY AND GET READY FOR YOUR TRIP TO HOLLAND.
PLEASE I NEED YOUR URGENT REPLY.

DEVIDOTL.


SIR MARMITE LUNY-BINNS

Date: Mon Sep 22, 2003 11:39:13 AM US/Pacific

Twottle

There is no need to type so intemperately in capitals, my dear chap. I find the impact of such a style very distracting and the very dickens to take as civilised communication. I have given you a range of numbers to try, you must realise that there is a limit to this sort of nonsense.

Perhaps the civil unrest so common in your country is affecting your local telephone exchange?


DR. DAVID OTL

Subject: what's the situation now ?
Date: Sat, 20 Sep 2003 13:06:52 GMT

hello mr marmite,
what's the situation now?,am still waiting for your reply.
davidotl.


SIR MARMITE LUNY-BINNS

Date: Mon Sep 22, 2003 11:52:28 AM US/Pacific

Twottle

The situation is entirely in your hands. Miracksy assures me that he has done all he can from the point of view of trying to reach you by phone, even spending a night on the job with just a bottle of my finest cognac and a packet of Windsor marshmallows for sustenance. This is very disappointing. We are all ready to proceed at our end. I have the golden dorks to hand, and have made a space in my schedule to continue with matters once you have satisfied us that you are serious.


DR. DAVID OTL

Subject: reminder.
Date: Mon, 22 Sep 2003 17:28:08 GMT

hello mrLuny-Binns,
i do not know what exactly you mean in this transaction because you do not responding to me,and also i give you only three days for you to respond to me so that i'll know your mind.if you do not indicate your mind in this transaction then i'll fine someone who could be serious with me, i'll not force you to make money.please try reach me so that i'll know wether you're in or out of these deal.
v i await for your quick response.

david otl.


SIR MARMITE LUNY-BINNS

Date: Mon Sep 22, 2003 11:56:01 AM US/Pacific
v Twottle

I am very serious in this affair my dear chap. It is your own compus menti, alas, which is in doubt. As it happens I have a very generous letter from one of your countrymen, a Mr Abacha, who is also in rather a fix. Perhaps he would be a better bet, given that at least he is contactable by phone. What do you think?


DR. DAVID OTL

Date: Tue, 23 Sep 2003 17:49:32 GMT

dear luny binns,
do not worry about the transaction because i myself is trying just to make sure that everything work out fine.according to your word about monkey bussiness you mention,i do not understand what you mean,just because of we've not speak with each other by phone.or just because of what i mention about your telephone number,see,am serious in this transaction but just because you think that am joken,i'm not joken,it's just because my mind told me to be dealing with you in this transaction because i know that you 're willing to assist me.please if you do not get mr raji william by phone continue trying him.

regards,
david otl.


SIR MARMITE LUNY-BINNS

Date: Thu Sep 25, 2003 2:12:44 AM US/Pacific

Twottle,

Mr Raj is a very elusive fellow, and I am very disconcerted. Are you serious about this matter or not? This is no joking matter, friend.

MARMITE


DR. DAVID OTL

Subject: comfirm your country code phone code number.
Date: Tue, 23 Sep 2003 18:10:42 GMT

luny binns
sorry, for keeping you long time to contact you in the office.it's just because the phone number you sent to me is unreachable,and could you please send to me your country phone code number so that i will know the number to dial first before i'll call you.honestly i've been trying to call the three number you sent to me but it's unreachable.if you're determine to speak with me by phone call me with these number 234-80-3304-1221 call me at 9 pm gmt nigerian local time.like as i was saying that i do not want to wast time againg in these transaction.

david otl.


SIR MARMITE LUNY-BINNS

Date: Thu Sep 25, 2003 2:16:00 AM US/Pacific

Twottle

This is really very irritating, but I am prepared to accept that your telephonic skills are necessarily of the standard familiar to all those who deal with your sweaty little country.

Here is a new number which I have been able to release for your use. Please hasten to call, as I am losing patience with the whole affair.

906 633 2732

I am in eager expectation of advancing this business to the level it deserves.

MARMITE


DR. DAVID OTL

Subject: waiting for your action.
Date: Tue, 23 Sep 2003 18:23:17 GMT

dear mr luny binns,
i wrote in capital letter to you is a mistake,i do not know when i interpret in capital,sorry for that.according to what you said that you 've provided a lot of number for me to try.like as i said i've been trying your number but is unreachable.i repeat againg send to me your country code number so that i could reach you immedaitely.

david otl.


SIR MARMITE LUNY-BINNS

Date: Thu Sep 25, 2003 2:20:15 AM US/Pacific

Twottle

My apologies for the delay in responding. I was called away at short notice to the state opening of St Trinians.

As far as I understand it the UK country code is 00 44. Now be a good chap and get in touch.

MARMITE


DR. DAVID OTL

Subject: call me at 9 pm.
Date: Tue, 23 Sep 2003 18:35:13 GMT

hello luny binns,
i would like to know who is mr miracksy?,i want to know when the third party 've been involve in this deal,and also if you want to get me on phone just call me at 9 gmt nigerian local time.i want to assure you that am serious, because this money is my life.please i repeat againg call mr raji william immediately.

david otl.


SIR MARMITE LUNY-BINNS

Date: Thu Sep 25, 2003 2:23:20 AM US/Pacific

Twottle

Ilichy Miracsky is my man and can be trusted implicitly to give you the service you deserve. He is very used to dealing with such confidential business matters.


DR. DAVID OTL

Subject: very urgent.
Date: Tue, 23 Sep 2003 18:50:31 GMT

please do not contact to any body because a lot of things happened here in nigereian,any abacha story is not true.please do not believe any body that contacted you. we're government parastatol so we know what is happened in this country everyday by day.just because the way you communicate with me by internet shoe me that we shall acheive our gaol at last.i ask you, if're serious in this deal you told me that you're serious and that's sound good.i await for your call.

david otl.


SIR MARMITE LUNY-BINNS

Date: Thu Sep 25, 2003 2:28:08 AM US/Pacific

Twottle

Mr Abacha is very convincing and I am hard put to imagine him as being unrealiable. I have spoken to him on the phone and he assures me that his business is risk free and high return. Can you offer similar assurances? Please ensure that this business now proceeds smoothly. Miracsky feels that there are a number of doubts which make continuance a worry. It would be a shame, as I have money to invest and your scheme seems interesting.

If you want some shoes then I can arrange something from Huntley and Palmer, the royal outfitters. Perhaps something in moleskin? What size feet do you have? Do you wear open toed or flip flops?

MARMITE

... Enter Agent Ilichy Miracsky, also of the Foreign Office, sort of ...

AGENT ILICHY MIRACSKY

From: "Ilichy Miracsky"
Date: Thu Sep 25, 2003 6:52:39 AM US/Pacific
To: davidotl@juno.com
Cc: Sir Marmite
Subject: I am Miracksy, but who is the phones to be?

Helloo Mr Otle

Is Miracsky, chief persons for SIR MARMITE best in dones. He say to do am to do yes.

Am try to calls this number of times, for this chap Raj, or indeeds you and call to no luck! Whats is sorts? Hey ho, is then I say can be to go gain, but all in sticky callings with no happy time. Please, can try again for necessarys, but need to check is on fine sortage. No is waits for all longs messing.

Can be do at once, goodly fellow, or may Sir Marmite be in terminate this twiddle twaddle reckonings and be with MR ABACHA who nice chat in well have dones.

Please, can to be do am all anxious for having connect time.
v ILICHY
Equirry to Sir Marmite


DR. DAVID OTL

Date: 26.9.2003 - 13:54:30

hello miracksy,
i answer you because this is your first time of writting to me,your boss mr lunny binns is praying with me, and also he call me a fool because i ask him of help me in these deal.it happened that i miss interpwrite [shoe in stead of show]because of that he cliam that i'm demanding a pair of shoe from him.look i do not blaim him because i need his service,also the four number he brougth to me is not connecting at all,does the number he gave to me working?.you better tell him that i'm not a begger,he has his own percentage in these deal so i do not begg him to make money.if he really serious in this deal tell him to contact mr raji william, this is his number 31613667472,if he do not contact mr raji william, tell him not to contact me againg.keep on trying my number,call me at 9.p.m.this is my number 234-80-3304-1221.

davidotl.


AGENT ILICHY MIRACSKY

Date: Fri Sep 26, 2003 5:07:16 AM US/Pacific
To: davidotl@juno.com
Cc: Sir Marmite

Helloo Mr Otles

I haves in been call time, but no rings. Is line to check please, as all big irritate. Can be in fast monies doings but this is flob and no for sortage good.

Please, if you am honest fellows on to this matter, no more messings all fibs but makes haste to get over this delay. Am keenly man, am keenly!

Hope urge hears todays

ILICHY

DR. DAVID OTL

From: davidotl@juno.com
To: Sir Marmite
Subject: Re: very urgent.
Date: Fri, 26 Sep 2003 12:04:30 GMT

hello mr binns
i'm not a begger,all i want is your ability to help me in these hour of need,is my fault because i miss interpwrite [ shoe in stead of show]that's why you think that am begging you to send a pair of shoe to me.see you've delayed this deal so much.
if you're seirous call mr raji william.

davidotl.


SIR MARMITE LUNY-BINNS

Date: Sun Sep 28, 2003 12:03:07 PM US/Pacific

Mr Twottle

Kindly address me in the correct manner good sir. 'mr binns' is not a form of title I have answered to, at least since the Queen honoured me at an investiture at Gormenghast a good decade or so ago. I have not worked hard in the service of my monarch and country to be so cavalierly treated by some foreign johnny like yourself.

MARMITE


DR. DAVID OTL

Date: Fri, 26 Sep 2003 12:16:17 GMT

hello mr luny binns,
you're puching me in state of blindness, but nevertheless,if you sure really want to help me call mr raji william .no uk country code number mach with this number 004 906 633 2732 you sent to me.i think i've try my best.if you wish call mr raji william.

davidol.


SIR MARMITE LUNY-BINNS

Date: Sun Sep 28, 2003 12:10:26 PM US/Pacific

Mr Twottle

I am not sure whether your incipient optical failings are the cause of your difficulties in working the telephone system. I can only imagine they are, as I have yet to hear from either this Raj chappie or yourself, while I am assured that the phone number you give out is incorrect. How can this be?

This is a great shame, as I have the golden dorks in front on me on my Louis Quatours desk, ready to process this business.


DR. DAVID OTL

From: davidotl@juno.com
To: Sir Marmite
Subject: mr raji number is correct,
Date: Mon, 29 Sep 2003 09:48:13 GMT

dear binns
the phone number i sent to you is correct and your the one delaying time in this deal.try him againg you'll get him.as for me i'm waiting for your action.
david otl.


SIR MARMITE LUNY-BINNS

Date: Wed Oct 1, 2003 3:50:54 AM US/Pacific

Twottle

I am tired of ringing this fellow who apparently has disconnected his phone. Are you entirely serious in this matter? Mr Abacha is far more professional.

MARMITE


DR. DAVID OTL

Date: Mon, 29 Sep 2003 10:02:23 GMT

i have all ready address you in correct manner but only that you're playing with me.like as i was saying at the initial time that you need to call mr raji williams to get in touch with him,so that you will get ready for your tribe to holland and also he will tell you what to do.now all these explaination that i made to you is quite explicity,so tell me what exactly do you want me to explian it againg to you?.
david david otl.


SIR MARMITE LUNY-BINNS

Date: Wed Oct 1, 2003 3:54:41 AM US/Pacific

Twottle

I fear that you are just a prankster with all this nonsense, as well as the somewhat illiterate uncivil tone that I notice which has crept into your mailing. I will have to make my investments somewhere else at this rate. Is there no way you can organise this matter effectively? God God man this is no joking matter! Is this is an example of your business sense then God help your village when it comes to market day or whatever passes for commerce in the rainforest.

MARMITE


more to come?


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