IKE CHUKWUBUEZEDate: Thu, 8 Jan 2004 12:56:51 -0800 (PST
Confidential Business Proposal
Having consulted with my colleagues and based on the information gathered from the Nigerian Chambers Of Commerce And Industry, I have the privilege to request for your assistance to transfer the sum of $17,500,000.00 (seventten seven million, five hundred thousand United States dollars) into
>your accounts. The above sum resulted from an over-invoiced contract, executed commissioned and paid for about five years (2) ago by a foreign contractor. This action was however intentional and since then the fund has been in a suspense account at The Central Bank Of Nigeria (Apex Bank). > We are now ready to transfer the fund overseas and that is where you come in. It is important to inform you that as civil servants, we are forbidden to operate a foreign account; that is why we require your assistance. The total sum will be shared as follows: 70% for us, 25% for you and 5% for local and international expenses incident to the transfer. > The transfer is risk free on both sides. I am an accountant with the Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC). If you find this proposal acceptable, we shall require the following documents:
(a) Your banker's name, telephone, account and fax numbers.
(b) Your private telephone and fax numbers -- for confidentiality and easy communication.
(c) Your letter-headed paper stamped and signed.
Alternatively we will furnish you with the text of what to type into your letter-headed paper, along with a breakdown explaining, comprehensively what we require of you. The business will take us ten (10) working days to accomplish.
Please reply urgently.
LEWIS NOOGIEMr. Ike, I think this must have been sent to me by mistake.
Lewis D. Noogie
IKE CHUKWUBUEZEDear Lewis D. Noogie,
this is to acknowledged the receipt of your mail and i want you to understand that the mail was sent to you directly, and not by mistake. Please Lewis D. Noogie,if you are willing to assist me,get back to me as sson as possible to enable me give you more detail of this transaction. i hope to hear from you as soon as possible.
LEWIS NOOGIEMr. Ike, I think I'm not reading something correctly here. Your e-mail says that for assisting you to transfer these funds, you're going to give me 25%. 25% of what? Certainly not 25% of 17.5 million dollars. I'm certain that I'm missing something here. I would also be interested to know how/why you picked me to help you.
Lewis D. Noogie
IKE CHUKWUBUEZEDEAR LEWIS,
THIS IS TO ACKNOWLEDGED THE RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL AND THE CONTENT NOTED,I WILL OFFER 25% OF THE TOTAL SUM(US%17.5M)FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE, WHILE 5% OF THE TOTAL SUM HAS BEEN SET ASIDE FOR LOCAL AND INTERNATIONAL EXPENSES INCIDENT TO THE TRANSFER. LEWIS, THIS IS HOW IT WAS STATED IN MY FRIST PROPOSAL TO YOU, AND I HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU TO ENABLE US PROCEED WITH THE TRANSACTION.
Note: I forgot to route the response to the above message to my 'Sent Items' box, and I've lost it. It basically it told a little bit about myself: family is originally from Georgia (the country, not the state), I have dual Georgian-UK citizenship, I'm a hotel consultant/troubleshooter, my job requires lots of travel, I'm currently in Tblisi, Ukrain (Tblisi is the capitol of Georgia), my favorite hobby is small-game hunting. I also asked a few questions about the transaction, some of which he answers below.
IKE CHUKWUBUEZEDear Lewis D. Noogie,
This is to acknowledged the receipt of your mail and wish to answer your question one after the other in order for you to have a clear picture of what we are doing.
1.The transaction is 100% legitimate and such there would be any problem or risk on your side now or after the funds has been transfered into your designated bank account.the funds in question is an over-invoiced contract which a foreign firm executed.As a member of the contract award committe my colleagues and I took advantange to inflate the funds to our persnal use,the orignal contractor has since been paid his contractual entitlement leaving a balance of $17,500,000 in suspence account of the central bank of Nigeria with no beneficary's name
2.The 5% set aside is to cover any expenses that you and I may incured in the course of actualizing the hitch free transfer of the funds into your bank account,it might not be upto that amount but whatever you and I incured would be deducted from the 5% then we share the balance equally.
There may payment of various fees to relevant ministries,such as the ministry of justice,ministry of finance and also to the inland board and tax,the 5% is not deducted from source until the funds is in your account that is why we have decided to set it aside in order for all parties to be at the safe side.
3.The ten days in accomplishing this is just an approximate time but I know that if you do cooperate with all parties involvedand follow instruction from the concern ministries we have have a sucess with the ten days.
To know about me,I am 45years old man married with 4 children two boys and two girls from 15,12 9 7 years respectively,I am happily married for 16 years now and by the grace of God my wife and I are enjoying our married life because we do not keep thing from each other.
I have worked with my ministry the Nigerian national petroleum corporation (NNPC) for 20 years and now I was promoted to a director of the federal government contract review and award committee.
My full name is Chukwubueze Ikechukwu,but you can call me chuks.(short for chukwubueze
In order for us to proceed in earnest do send me the following:-
1) your full names or company's name/banking co-ordinates
2) Complete mailing address
3) Private phone & fax for more confidential communications
4) Date & place of Birth
6) Marital status
7) Nature of business & financial status as regards to accommodate the funds about to be transferred.
With the requested info, we shall apply and secure the necessary legal documents in your name through the Federal High Court of Justice to be authenticated & sign by the commissioner of oath, regarding you or your company as a contractor who executed contract with our ministry (NNPC).
Thereafter,these legal paper works/approvals shall be presented to the Federal ministry of Finance and our apex bank and instruct their foreign operations department to transfer the funds into any bank account you shall nominate bank account as the contractor.
Always remember the confidentaility in handling affairs as regards this project and at no point should anybody been made known the nature of this transaction nor your bankers be communicated prior to the transfer as the paying bank would contact your bankers with details of transfer and purpose .
If there are more questions, endeavour to reach me on my confidential/private line 234-80-230-23869 for more details as the formal phone numbers are not confidential.
I got your email today, and I thank you for telling me a little bit about yourself. I feel more confident knowing a bit about the personal life of a prospective business partner. So you've been married 16 years you say? I think that's really terrific. I couldn't make it more than 4 years with Baba Yaga, the witch I was married to. And 4 children! You're a lucky man. How has your wife held up after 4 children? Still got that girlish figure?
Ok, down to business.
1. Bank Name and Address: Multibanka, Riga, Latvia. This is a personal account, but I think I need to set up a new one to handle this transaction through.
2. My mail address: If you have to send something to me by surface mail, you can send it to me at c/o Hotel Bolshoi Shutka, 1, Hueysos Ulitsa, Tbilisi, Republic of the Ukrain. I don't recommend that you do this as surface mail is extremely unreliable in the Ukrain, but the hotel will hold it for me until I return here.
3. Phone & Fax: I hesitate to give you a phone and fax number, especially fax, because I am constantly on the move. If you faxed something confidential to one of the hotels and I was not there to receive it, it could raise questions. I think e-mail is probably the way to go for the time being if we're concerned about confidentiality.
4. Date and place of birth: 11 Nov 1965, in Rostov, Georgia.
5. Nationality: I have dual citizenship in Georgia and the UK.
6. Marital status: divorced.
7. Nature of Business: Dahmer-Lecter-Noogie Associates, Hotel Consultants (Not sure what you need in the way of financial staus. We are a profitable partnership, grossing roughly 2.7 million dollars last year.)
That's what I have for now.
Just to keep you informed of my movements, I fly day after tomorrow to Novosibirsk in Latvia, where I will be advising a hotel there on a lawsuit they intend to bring against Lot, the Polish airlines. Seems the Lot pilots like to dump their "blue ice" over Novosibirsk and the hotel has twice had near misses. This time, a large chunk of it crashed through the second floor roof and into the kitchen below. What a mess. The hotel is planning their suit now.
Something else occurred to me over the weekend. I mentioned to you that I am an avid small game hunter. Well, about 4 months ago I was talking to a travel agent in London about hunting trips to Africa, and he was suggesting Kenya. What about Nigeria? What's the hunting like down there? I'm only interested in small stuff like rabbits, gophers, prarie dogs, like that. I'd really appreciate it if you could look into that for me. And if there are companies that offer hunting trips, they would have to be able to provide the firearms as well. Do you like to hunt?
I will confess to you that, as much as I enjoy hunting, I'm not very good at it. I can't hit dick, and my partner Hannibal keeps telling me to get a bigger gun. I've spent a fortune on firearms, worked my way up from a .22, to a .223, jumped to 7.62mm, then .45, still no luck with the damn things. A few years ago I was even able to get ahold of a surplus World War II 20mm anti-tank gun, which is what I mostly use now. This sucker's about six feet long but I still haven't been able to kill a gopher yet. Scared the crap out of a few of 'em, though. And it's getting hard to find 20mm rounds in sporting goods stores, only a few in the US carry it. Anyhow, my point is, I'm not locked into the Kenya thing yet, and if Nigeria looks promising, I might consider it. But it could only be if the hunting guides provide firearms, since I am unable transport my own on the airlines anymore, what with all this terrorist crap. I tell you what, if they'd let me take my gat on the plane as carry-on, you wouldn't hear a peep out of no terrorist, not if he knows I'm locked and loaded a few rows behind him with a 20 mike-mike, ready to blow a hole in him big enough to drive a tractor through.
Whew! Sorry, I told you I get carried away when I start talking hunting, and because I travel so much I don't have much of a social life. It's nice to have someone to talk to. Anyhow, let me know what the next step is.
IKE CHUKWUBUEZEDEAR LEWD,
THIS IS TO ACKNOWLEDGED THE RECEIPT OF YOUR MAIL AND THE CONTENT WELL NOTED. LEWD, WE CAN USE YOUR PERSONAL BANK ACCOUNT TO HANDLE THIS TRANSACTION,THERE IS NO NEED OPENING ANOTHER ACCOUNT TO HANDLE THIS TRANSACTION.SO LET ME HAVE THE FULL ACCOUNT INFORMATION TO ENABLE ME FILL IN THE APPLICATION FOR CLAIMS IN YOUR FAVOUR,
1,THE BANK ADDRESS
2,THE ACCOUNT NUMBER WHERE YOU WANT THEM TO TRANSFER THE MONEY INTO
3,THE BENEFICIARY NAME
LEWD, THE MINISTRIES CONCERNED WILL NEED YOUR TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS IN CASE THEY WANT TO CONTACT YOU OR SEND A FAX MESSAGE TO YOU,BUT SINCE YOU ARE ALWAYS OUT ALL THE TIME I DON,T KNOW WHAT TO DO NOW.ANYWAY LET US PUT UP THE PAYMENT APPLICATION FRIST,AND I WILL TELL MY LAWYER TO INFORM THE MINISTRIES CONCERNED THAT YOU ARE NOT ALWAYS AROUND THAT THEY CAN ONLY REACH YOU THROUGH EMAIL SO THAT THEY SCAN ANY MESSAGE THEY HAVE FOR YOU THROUGH YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS. I HOPE TO HAVE THE FULL ACCOUNT DETAILS TO ENABLE US COMMENCE IMMEDSIATELY.
As always, it's good to hear from you.
Regarding using my existing bank account, I prefer to go ahead and set up a new one. The UK government is already aware of my existing account, as I have used it when reporting interest for tax purposes, and I would rather not have them aware of our current transaction. I'll contact the bank today to get the ball rolling on getting it set up.
I don't know if I'm going to be able to travel tomorrow as planned. I ate something last night that is tearing me up inside. I was on the toilet cuttin' cable half the night, and I've got a round in the chamber even as we speak. This happens every time I come here, especially if I eat here in the hotel. If I feel a little better tomorrow morning I'll try to make the trip, but I don't want to have to run to the head to burn a mule every fifteen minutes on the plane.
As far as the fax number, I don't know why documents can't be sent as an email attachment. Your bank undoubtedly has at least one scanner, right? If it gets to be too big a problem we'll think of an alternative.
I would still very much appreciate it if you could send me any information on hunting in Nigeria.
Gotta go push one through the hoop.
Best regards to you, my friend.
IKE CHUKWUBUEZEFrom: chuks chukwubueze <firstname.lastname@example.org>
Date: Tue, 13 Jan 2004 09:04:19 -0800 (PST)
This is to acknowledged the receipt of your mail,how long will it take to set up the new account, i hope it will take much time.
As far as the fax number,my lawyer told me that the documents can be sent as an email attachment to you since you not always around,that we should inform them when putting up the application
Lewd. make sure you take good care of yourself and you should mind what you eat, i don,t know about hunting in nigeria,because i am not a hunter but i will try and find out some information for you.
I hope to hear from you as soonest
LEWIS NOOGIEChucks, my good friend,
Your concern is really appreciated and you're absolutely right, I need to be more careful about what I eat in these countries. My stomach is a little better and I think I'll be able to make my flight this morning. I only had to get up twice last night to download brownware.
As far as how long it will take to open the account, it shouldn't take long at all. Since I'm flying to Novosibirsk in Latvia anyhow, Riga is just an hour or so away by car. I'll try to get over there during this trip so I can get everything signed off. I'll let you know how it goes.
I've had a slight change in travel plans after this trip. I have to fly to San Francisco, California, for an emergency consultation with the Hyatt hotel there. It looks like I'll be there for 3 business days, but I intend to stay there for two extra days. In what I consider an enormous stroke of luck, the Sierra Club will be sponsoring their annual "Northern California Spotted Owl Shoot" while I'm there. I've always wanted to attend this monumental event and now I've got my chance. If I get one I'll send you a feather.
It would really be great if you could find me some information on hunting there in your country. You said you don't hunt but if you had the time to get out once with me, I'm sure you'd get as addicted to it as I am. Thanks again.
Well, I'm gonna go launch one more sea pickle and then head for the airport. I'll check my mail when I get to the hotel tonight.
I'll let you know about the account.
LEWIS NOOGIEChuks, I think if I didn't have you to talk to I'd go nuts. Yesterday was a disaster, starting off bad from the git-go.
As is my routine, I'm sitting on the can at 6:00am, growing a monkey tail, and I get a call from the hotel manager who says the lawyers for the airline are going to arrive at 6:15am for a breakfast meeting. Jeez, can't these guys plan ahead? I hate getting early morning phone calls, especially when I'm busy hangin' a rat, and I hate early morning meetings even worse.
Anyhow, the meeting completely broke down. The airline has retained the local law firm of Chiteery, Adeen & Dyevit as their attorney, and these guys are tough. Apparently one of the hotel employees who was outside on the day that the plane dropped the blue ice said that the plane appeared to intentionally go into a dive before the ice was dropped. If he had stopped there everything would have been fine but he went on to assert that the pilot was probably some ex-Nazi stuka pilot who missed the good old days. The airline attorneys were livid at that remark and wanted to stop the meeting right then and there.
Things got worse after that. We took a break and I went into the restroom to take a leak, and was standing next to Mr. Adeen, one of the airline's attorneys. You know how sometimes you'll get a piece of underwear lint caught in the eye of the cyclops, and you'll end up with two streams? Well, it happened, and one stream went straight out to the side and hit Mr. Adeen's jacket and pants. He accused me of doing it intentionally and took his people and left. He has calmed down somewhat after I apologized and we've agreed to resume the meeting tomorrow.
Back to our business. I called the bank in Riga and they will have the paperwork ready for me to sign and get the account setup. It's been snowing like hell here all night, still is, but I have a car to drive me to Riga this afternoon. We should be in pretty good shape by tomorrow and ready to get this thing finalized. I think we're getting close, Chuks. Have you decided yet what you are going to do with your part of the money? I'm already in pretty good financial shape, and I had set my goal on retirement by age 45. This money is going to make it possible to accelerate that; I will probably be able to quit this crazy job 5 years sooner.
Hey, after we get this all completed, how about you and I do a hunting trip together somewhere?
IKE CHUKWUBUEZEDate: Fri, 16 Jan 2004 23:47:37 -0800 (PST)
This is to acknowledged the receipt of yourt mail nad the content well noted,how is health now i hope you are alright now.
I will to go into joint business with you as soon as we complete this transaction,you will teach me business because i don,t know anything about business before, i am a civil servant
Lewd , after we get this all completed, both of us will travel for the hunting something.
when will be account be ready?
Please get back to me immediately
My apologies for not writing sooner, Chuks, but I've been through a lot the past day or two.
I had a car and driver to take me to Riga to get the account set up, but we had to turn back; the roads are completely impassable and we are snowed in. I don't know where all this snow comes from, I think Latvia must be entering the next ice age. They have the machines out clearing the roads now, so I'll make another attempt at it on Monday afternoon.
Then I met this Latvian woman who works as a massage therapist here in the hotel. Her name's Olga (almost all Latvian women are named Olga), nice looking woman, looks just like Anna Kornikova, except about ninety pounds heavier. I spent the night with her and she damn near killed me. I swear that woman could suck-start a leaf blower. When I woke up the next morning I felt like I had taken on the north face of the Eiger the night before. I got up, showered, dropped the kids off at the pool, and went straight back to bed and slept for nearly fourteen hours. You just can't sleep properly with someone pulling on your plunker all night.
I'll take another shot at getting to Riga on Monday, and we'll get this deal finalized.
Word up, Homes, I'd be honored to help you learn the ropes in business. I'll teach you everything I know once we have our money tucked away. And we will do that hunting trip together. That reminds me, have you been able to find any information on hunting in Nigeria?
Uh-oh. Olga just walked by and "something big" has come up. I'll get back to you on Monday.
more to come?