URAL I'VE GOT TONIGHT



The flip-off! march 9

Robert Edwards - Wealthy North Korean Currency Dealer
oddi_imon@hotmail.com, robert_edwards@myway.com, [192.116.154.133] (served up by Gilat Satellite, which mostly serves West African ISPs)

Sir Donald Clarkson - South African Diplomat

L. Van Djik - Dutch Security Company Guy

Lewis D. "Lewd" Noogie - International Hotel Consultant

You probably thought that people from Korea were all named Kim, Pak or Lee. You probably also thought that people from North Korea were poor. Robert lays a lot of these myths to rest.

[We also thought both the Koreas were in Asia. But no matter! Let the Lad spin his tale!]


Robert Edwards

Subject: Re:-Help
Date: Sat, 04 Feb 2006

Dear Sir/Madam

My Name is Mr.Robert Edwards from Korea and I would like you to guide me through the most viable investment opportunities in your Country. Alternatively, I can invest in your line of business if you are interested and if your line of business is viable.

I am one of the defectors from the north and I am presently residing in South Korea.I have been in this Country for sometime now.Before defecting from the North,I was into currency exchange business and I was always travelling to other parts of Asia and Europe and during that period, I was able to move out my funds totally USD$18Million and deposit it in a bank in EUROPE.

I want to invest this funds in your Country with your help and advice because we are being treated as foreigners here. A lot of defectors now go on to Canada or the United States and some parts of Europe to live.

For more details, please see the following websites;

www.washingtonpost.com/ac2/wp-dyn/A41966-2003Oct3?language=printer
>

I want you to send me a complete breakdown of the investment opportunities in your Country and also let me know What exactly I need to do to enable you invest the funds for me in your Country.

If interested, you will have to provide an account for receiving the investment funds. I will then come over to your Country after you receive the funds and work out the investment plans with you.

After I hear from you and find out the best investment business you can introduce to me, I will tell you how much is involved.

I will be obliged to have your concern by e-mail as above. I expect to give you the low down with a view to our meeting in Europe to complete the transaction in earnest.

Thank you for the pains taken in reading through this mail.Please reach me via email: :robert_edwards@myway.com

Sincerely,
Mr.Robert Edwards



Lewd Noogie

February 5, 2006

Mr. Edwards,

I think this has been sent to me by mistake.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie



Robert Edwards

Mon, 6 Feb 2006

Dear Lewd Noogie

Thanks for your email of sunday in response to my proposal to you.It is not a MISTAKE.Please lets know your abilities/readiness to prosecute the transaction with us to enable us furnish you additional information/Evidential proof relating to the payment in your favour.Awaiting your concern.

Best Regards,
Mr.Robert Edwards



Lewd Noogie

February 6, 2006

Mr. Edwards,

I'm still not sure I understand what's going on here. I'm curious as to how how you got my name.

What exactly is it that you want me to do?

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie



Robert Edwards

Tue, 7 Feb 2006

STATEMENT OF CLAIM

In respect of my payment pending in your books and records.I hereby declare as follows:-



1) That my name is:----------------------------------------------------------------- 2) That i am The President/CEO Of the above named company.
3) That i am the beneficiary(s) of the funds value USD$18,000,000.00(Eighteen Million United States Of American Dollars Only) transfered into your care by my Confidant Mr.Robert Edwards
4)That my company has never domiciled or transfered this funds to any company or person before.
5)That this funds were legally earned and not derived from or connected to money laudering activities.
6)That my company/myself shall open domiciary bank account in Holland,Amsterdam,The Netherlands for onward transfer of the funds into my home country or any designated bank account co-ordinates of my choice.
7)That i is from today Lewd Noogie known as bonafide owner of the funds.
8) That this Statement is issued by my own free will,truly and conscienciously to the best of my knowledge and now required for record purposes for the transfer of the subject sum.I attached herewith photocopy of my International Passport or Driver's License to this effect.

Yours Faithfully,
Lewd Noogie
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
NB:-Lewd Noogie, kindly transcribe the above information into your company's letter headed paper and forward it to Holland,Amsterdam,The Netherlands for processing of your claim immediately via email:-stchartered_bank_plc@outgun.com



Robert Edwards

Tue, 7 Feb 2006

Dear Lewd Noogie

Thanks for your email dated 6/02/06 and your acceptance to work with me in respect of my proposal to you. The success of this transaction is 100% safe and no risk at all.Locating you is a combination of divine providence and endless search for a reliable person to prosecute this transaction with me.

After searching unsuccessfully for months, i became very desperate when the Board Of Directors of my bank declared their intention to confiscate my assets with them if I fail to present a reliable person to claim the assets in the next one month.I have to change my email address for secrecy and confidentiality, my secretary and staff could access my former email box used then. But haven found you, i have to protect my communication with you by operating through a new mail box. But we can now keep this email box permanent as it is only accessible by me.

Please note that the money is presently deposited in a Bank in Holland, Netherlands.This method of physical movement/shipment of the funds via a Diplomat was fashioned out to avoid unnecessary documentations/processing of the payment in Asia.I will be detailing you with step by step procedures, plus our respective obligations towards a successful consummation of the transaction.

Because i am 100% sure of this project, i consider it a success already and will ask you to start arrangement to receive me in your country in a month time when the transfer of the assets would have arrived your bank account. I shall furnish you the draft copy of the text of application which you will file to the Bank in Holland,Netherlands to enable them initiate the process of releasing the funds to you via your nominated account. Please remember to include your contact details and fax number/Tel.Number as well as your personal data such as: full official name, age, marital status, occupation, and full address. These will be required to apply to the bank, the probate registry and the court for the funds release in your favour.

To commemce processing of the claim in earnest do furnish me NOW your full bank account details e.g. Bank Name ,Bank Address ,Account Number ,Tel/Fax Number Of Bank, Iban Code/Sort Code If any.Kindly be informed that the funds USD$18Million transfered into the yet nominated bank account of -Lewd Noogie- will be shared at percentages Viz:-25% of the USD$18Million to Lewd Noogie,5% is set aside for any incidental expenses arising thereof while the balance 75% will be kept or reserved for us in -Lewd Noogie- bank account till we meet physically in your Country or elsewhere to discuss and harmonize all issues as regards investment opportunities available in your country.Lewd Noogie, Henceforth and as explained above ensure that you DIRECT all future emails/letters/correspondences ONLY to this my new email address:- robert_edwards@myway.com for my private and confidential reading.

Awaiting your early reply.

Best Regards,
Mr.Robert Edwards



Lewd Noogie

February7, 2006

Mr. Edwards,

Whoa, slow down for a minute. I haven't agreed to anything yet. I need a few detail first.



You didn't answer my question - how did you find me? Secondly, I don't understand why you would want to give me 25% of $18 million just to help you invest this money. I have to be honest with you, Sir - I'm sure you could find someone who could help for much less. While as an international hotel consultant I am very knowledgeable in the hotelier field, I don't know if this is something you are interested in investing in.

I am also curious as to the 5% set aside for incidental expenses. By my calculation this comes to $900,000. How could investing this money cost anywhere near that?

I await your response.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie



Robert Edwards

Wed, 8 Feb 2006

Dear Lewd Noogie

Thanks for your swift response to my email.

Broadly Speaking i got your email contact address through World Trade Directory and instinct and favour of God lead me to reach out to you and one other person in South Africa.Since you responded swiftly and timely needless to continue searching for a reliable person again.Lewd Noogie your Credentials as an International Hotel Consultant is indeed encouraging and will be beneficial to us all at the end of the transaction.

We will cewrtainly invest in the Hospitality business since it is very lucrative if well managed and designed.Yes the 5% set aside for contingencies is to cover any Logistics and unforeseen expenses in course of prosecuting this transaction.

Lewd Noogie as the saying goes Knowledge is power and you must be rewarded for us to TASK/tap in into your wealth of expereince in consultancy and also assisting us to see that the funds goes through the bank account successfully and our shares of 75% delivered or returned back to us as agreed.Please lets not not delay or waste such an opportunity to both party.

Noogie please feel free to participate in this transaction as there is absolutely no risk involved.As requested do furnish me your Tel.No/Fax number respectively for VOICE contact and consequently furnish you all the Authorization/Approvals documents that will cause the remittance into your bank account Co-ordinates.

Awaiting your kind response.

Best Regards,
Mr.Robert Edwards.



Lewd Noogie

February 9, 2006

Mr. Edwards,

I have to admit that I was pleased to learn that you are interested in investing in the hotel industry and I believe I can be of assistance to you. I should tell you that I am based out of Kiev, Georgia but I am currently consulting to a small resort hotel here in Gadyukina, Russia, a small town in the Far Eastern Ural region of Russia.

I should ask - have you given any thought as to which country you feel most comfortable investing in? I myself am most knowledgeable of investments in Russia and Eastern Europe, and I can recommend Russia as a very lucrative market. You mentioned coming here to oversee your investment - is it your intent to live here for any length of time?

I would also like to know a bit more about you personally. I find it to be good business practice to know one's partners socially as well as businessly. All I really know about you is that you are North Korean living in South Korea. Are you married? Any children? What do you like to do in your spare time?

The only phone number where I can be reached is through the hotel switchboard. If you call just ask for Lewd and they will locate me. The number is 7-095-964-8597.

I hope to hear back from you soon.

Lewd



Robert Edwards

Thu, 9 Feb 2006

Dear Lewd

Thanks for your email dated 8/02/06.

Delighted about your kind of person,altitude,behavoiur and character i looked for in human beings.It seems you have these sterling qualities.

YES, I will definitely invest in Hotel Business in Russia and Easter Europe as recommended/suggested by you.Also i would also like to invest a little in New-York,USA Stocks,Bonds and Securities.

Lewd your MAJOR task now is to identify and finalize a viable Hotel in Russia/Eastern Europe we will acquire or buy it over outright and take over the total managemnt of the Hotel from the Original owners.There will be management re-structuring to reflect our Vision/Mission statement of what Hotel/Hospitality business must be in this millinium era.

Lewd,my BIODATA are :-Married with two(2)Kids Boy&Girl, 54 Yrs.Of Age,love to play Lawn Tennis at my leisure time.

Lewd as the Bibles tells us where your treasure is there is where your heart will certainly be.I will leave where my investement are.

Lewd,be informed that the funds are already in Holland,Amsterdam,Netherlands as earlier communicated to you .

Lewd indicate your PREFERENCE of Bank to Bank transfer OR physical Movement of the funds to Lewd prefered Country.Which way or option choosen by Lewd a Diplomat has been contacted in Holland to assist in all spheres to ensure resounding victory.

Lewd, i am persuaded and assured that within two(2)weeks Maximum from today 9/02/06 all with be history as all most the spade work has been diligently done in advance.

Great to see and meet you in this situation and circumsatnce i found myself.It is divine.

Awaiting your concern on the way forward.

Best Regards,
Mr.Robert Edward



Lewd Noogie

February 9, 2006

Robert,

Good to hear from you again.

I agree that two weeks should be plenty of time to finish this project, and I don't see why it can't be done much quicker. I would suggest that you do an on-line transfer from your account to mine, very easily done. Itransfer large sums like this all the time.

I guess I should give you my bank details so you can go ahead and do it.

Bank Name: MultiBanka
City: Estonia Branch
Country: Latvia
Swift Code: MULTLV3Y
Benificiary: DLN Associates LLC
Account Number :100205523202

I get instant on-line alerts on activity in my account so I'll let you know when it has safely been transfered.

I guess I should ask - when do you want to come here to Russia? We have preparations to make and I don't want to get started too late. I will make arrangements for you to stay here at the resort.

One question I must ask - how did you manage to get out of North Korea? That has got to be a fascinating story.

Lewd


[If any Korean-speaker wants to take them on, we'll be fascinated to see if they reply.]


Robert Edwards

Fri, 10 Feb 2006

Dear Lewd Noogie
Thanks for your email containing the bank account details.I also thank you for efforts,co-operation and support so far to get the transaction actualize at earliest possible time.I am presently in Korea and that is the more reason i can not reply you as urgent as it ought to be.

The Diplomat in the Netherlands is currently working on my travell documents to fly down to Europe prior to arrival of funds into your bank account Co-ordinates as given in your email of 9/02/06.For now i am into hidden.Lewd, accordingly i have passed the bank account details to the Diplomat for onward submission to the bank for processing of the funds in your favour

.Lewd,kindly as a matter of URGENTCY contact the Diplomat via email :-firstgate-secur@excite.com for update of the processing of the necessary documents that will cause the On-Line transfer.Ensure that you contact the Diplomat UNFAILINGLY today to show your comitmment.

Have a great working day.

Best Regards,
Mr.Robert Edwards



Lewd Noogie

February 10, 2006

Robert,

I will contact the diplomat but you didn't really answer my question - do you intend to come here to Russia and, if so, when?

I also need to know the diplomat's name and what country he is a diplomat of.

Try to get back to me today.

Thanks.
Lewd



Robert Edwards

Fri, 10 Feb 2006

Dear LewdThanks for your instant email.Yes, it a MUST that i will join you up in Russia to personally monitor my investment.I thought i answered this question clearly when i hinted that the Diplomat is working on my Travell documents.The Diplomat's Name is Sir.Donald Clarkson from South Afriica but based in Holland,Netherlands.Please do reach him as promised.Hope that we will consummate the transaction sooner than expected.

Have a pleasant weekend.
Mr.Robert Edwards



Lewd Noogie

February 11, 2006

Robert,

I'll try to contact Mr. Clarkson today but I'm curious about something - as a senior partner in my company, I move large sums of money around all the time and I have never required the services of a diplomat. We're just moving money, right? Easiest thing in the world. What exactly is Mr. Clarkson's involvement going to be in this?

You probably were not aware of it but you must have a visa to enter Russia. It normally takes about two months to get the letter of invitation and process the visa but that would be way too long in this case. It will cost more but fortunately I can shortcut the procedure from here. I've attached a visa application - print it out, fill out the forms, scan it, and send it back to me with a scan of your passport photo. Be sure to answer all questions and try to get this back to me this weekend. I will arrange for the visa to be ready at the Russian Embassy in Seoul in about 2 weeks.

Lewd


[I send Robert a Russian visa application form. These things can be a bitch to fill out at the best of times...]


Lewd Noogie

February 11, 2006

Mr. Clarkson,

As way of introduction, my name is Lewis D. Noogie and I am senior partner in the the firm Dahmer, Noogie, Lecter Ltd. I am assisting Mr. Robert Edwards, a North Korean national, to transfer a sum of money from his account to my account. He informs me that he has forwarded this information to you.

I am unclear as to the extent of your involvement in this but please make the transfer as soon as possible.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie



Robert Edwards

Sat, 11 Feb 2006

Dear Lewd

Thanks for your email.Indeed you are a Friend.You have proved to me as a Reliable and dependable friend considering all your efforts and concern shown so far towards the quick resolution of this transaction.There is absolutely no need to be curious of the involvement of the Diplomat.He is an asset and will be a great asset to us in future during and after this transaction.

Lewd as a currency dealer we normally have contacts/friends in top Governments Circles(Government Officials) across Countries that acts as a facilitators for us in the movememts of funds/currencies.Diplomats played viatal roles .As you know under United Nations Chapters of 1945 nobody can search Diplomats excepts otherwise.

Sir Clarkson involvement in this transaction is borne out the fact that we may adopt the option of physical transhippment of the funds to you in Russia.Since you prefer Bank to Bank transfer the Diplomat is still the person that will pursue this task/assignment in the bank accordingly.

As earlier communicated to you i am into hiden and uses a family friend office to reach you via email.The Diplomat as earlier intimated you is presently working on my travell documents to enable me leaves Korea in the shortest possible time.

Lewd, in between Diplomat travell documents and Lewd Letter of Invitaion, i do not know which will be faster Though i will pursue both simultaneously.Do reach the Diplomat so that he can file your claim with bank by Monday latest.Feel free to conatct him.He is an amiable person.

Yours Sincerely,
Mr.Robert Edwards



Lewd Noogie

February 12, 2006

Robert,

I have contacted Mr. Clarkson but I must say I am becoming a bit confused.

It was my understanding that we are going to transfer some money from your bank in Europe to my bank in Latvia, then you would come here, I would transfer the money here and make it available to you for investment. Is this not the plan?

Robert, like I said before, this is the easiest thing in the world for you to do. You can do it from your home computer. I do this all the time. I am still clueless as to the need for a diplomatic middle man. I don't understand who is giving you advice on this but we're playing on my home court here and I know the rules.

If we're going to do this right we need to make some firm decisions now.

1. Are you coming to Russia, and, if so, when? If you are then you need to get that visa application back to me like today so I can get started on it.

2. If you're not going to come to Russia to look at investments then I don't know what this deal is about and you need to explain.

And why are you in hiding? You're in South Korea for chrissakes! They're the good guys! You gotta explain this one to me.

My advice to you is to transfer the money online, send the completed visa application to me, and start making travel plans to come here in about two weeks. I've already talked to some friends in the Russian Immigration Department and the FSB and I've given them some small 'gifts' to smooth the process. Everything is set to go as per your original statement to me and I strongly urge that we proceed in accordance with the original plan.

Waiting to hear from you.

Lewd



Robert Edwards

Mon, 13 Feb 2006

Dear Lewd

Thanks for your email .Also thank you for your concern about my welfare.As contained in my firsl letter to you it was stated that i defected from North to South Korea that is why i am into hiding and necessitated the Diplomat arranging for travell documents to Join you up in Russia.

Lewd, the whole essence of this transaction is for investment and i must be in Russia latest two weeks time all things been equal.Lewd, i am not very vast in computer applications to know how to send money through ONLINE into your nominated bank account in latvia.Everything is on course.

Please be patient a little.

Best Regards,
Mr.Robert Edwards,



Sir Donald Clarkson

Mon, 13 Feb 2006

Attn:-Lewd Noogie

Sir,

This is to acknowledge your email of last week in which you mentioned Mr.Robert Edwards regarding funds remittance into your bank account co-ordinates.Accordingly today the 13/02/06 i have forwarded your full bank account details to bank for processing with a view to transfering the funds USD$18Million once all the relevant Authorization/Aprrovals documents are secure in your favour.

Sir, be informed under two(2)maximum the transaction will be finalized.One of the officials of the bank will reach you to breif you of all the necessary steps to actualize the transaction.

Yours Faithfully,
Sir,Donald Clarkson(Dip)


[Dip...... appropriate title.]


Sir Donald Clarkson

Mon, 13 Feb 2006

Attn:-Lewd Noogie

Sir,Please re-confirm the contact number you gave to Robert Edwards as all efforts to contact you via the Tel. 7-095-964-8597 has so far proved abortive.Please INDICATE the Contry Code/City Code/Tel.Number to enable one access you for urgent info.Please acknowledge receipt of this message immediately,

Yours Faithfully,
Sir.Donald Clarkson



Premium Securities & Finance Co. (L. Van Djik)

Mon, 13 Feb 2006

ATTN: MR LEWD NOOGIE

Find attached is a payment notification and an appraisal form.
--



Lewd Noogie

February 14, 2006

Robert,

I think we need to take a moment and figure out where we're at and where we're going. I'm still confused about a number of issues that I would like for you to repond to.

1. You say you are in hiding because you fled from North Korea to South Korea. That in itself does not make any sense. If you're in South Korea, who exactly are you hiding FROM?

2. You are a currency dealer but you say you don't now how to send money online. You're joking, of course. How could you deal in currencies from all over the world without knowing how to do it online? It's all done online these days.

3. This guy Clarkson is working on your travel documents. Robert, if this guy is a South African Diplomat he's not gonna be able to do fulk all about getting you documents for travel to Russia. I know what I'm talking about. I've got friends here who can do things much faster than some guy from South Africa. If you're smart you will send me the application forms now.

4. I got some forms from some place called Premium Securities & Finance that they want me to fill out. This seems ass-backwards to me. I mean, it's your money, you can send it to whomever you please. I don't understand the necessity of me filling out a bunch of forms. I've never had to do this before to receive money.

I'm ready to move on this thing but I would feel much more comfortable proceeding if I knew the answers to these questions.

Lewd



Robert Edwards

Tue, 14 Feb 2006

Dear Lewd Noogie

Thanks for your email.

1)If you read my first email correctly it was mentioned that Government are after Currency Dealers that caused us to defect.

2) Sincerely and candidly speaking i do not know how to transfer money online and you will agree with me that this is an emerging global trends in transfers.Banks help us to do the transfers.

3) If Lewd Assured me that VISA is guaranteed via your Letter of Invitation all well and good.The most important issue is that i am in Russia.

4) Remember that Sir.Donald Clarkson was supposed to help shipped this funds to you in Russia and Lewd opted for Online.Do fill the form and liase with the officilas accordingly.

What is WRONG with the Tel.Number you gave .It is not working.

Please revert now.

Thanks,
Mr.Robert Edwrads



Lewd Noogie

February 15, 2006

Robert,

This issue of your Russian visa is somewhat exasperating. I'm trying to help you with this but I don't understand why you keep holding off.

Here's what I will do - I will fill out the form sent to me and return it to Premium Securities & Finance but I will go no further until you send me the completed visa application forms. If I don't receive them this week I will assume you are not interested in coming here and I will terminate my involvement in this transaction. I'm sorry, but I don't want to be in a situation where your money is here and you're not.

As far as I can tell there is nothing wrong with the phone here at the hotel. We are on a satelite feed and sometimes the signal is weak but calls do get through. The problem may be due to the fact that there have been recent changes in area codes - you might try 495 instead of 095.

Lewd

PS - by the way, I would hardly refer to online bank transfers as an 'emerging trend'. I've been doing it for years. We need to drag you into the 21st century, my friend.



Lewd Noogie

February 15, 2006

To whom it may concern:

Attached is the completed Payment Notification Appraisal Form you requested. Please process as soon as possible and make the subsequent transfer of funds.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie



Premium Securities & Finance Co. (L. Van Djik)

Wed, 15 Feb 2006

ATTN: MR LEWIS NOOGIE

Sir,

We write to acknowledge the receipt of your appraisal form C8.

Please be advised to forward to us a xerox copy of your international passport and or drivers licence/I.D. To enable us conclude with our verification procedure.

We await your prompt response on this.

Regards,
L. Van Dijk.
For: Premium.



Lewd Noogie

February 16, 2006

Mr. Van Dick,

I make it a policy never to send scans of my passport or driver's licence through email. I would point out that identity verification by yourself is not necessary as Mr. Edwards is well aware of my identity.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie



Robert Edwards

Wed, 15 Feb 2006

Dear Lewd

Thanks for your concern.Now that i am sure of your capability to secure the VISA through your efforts it is okay with me.The delay was as a result that Sir.Donald Clarkson was working on my travell documents.I will Fill the Via application form and send them to you accordingly.Definitely i will be available to witness the arrival of the funds.I strongly enjoins you-lewd to comply with information/instructions from the Security Company to ensure success.

I REPEAT for the benefit of the doubts that i do not know how to wire mney by ONLINE. i beleived in bank to bank transfer strongly.

Please furnish me too your BIODATA.

Thanks,
Robert Edwards



Lewd Noogie

February 16, 2006

Robert,

If we're going to keep this thing on track do get those visa forms to me this week. Be sure and answer ALL questions as the immigration people here are absolutely anal about their application forms. Don't forget to send a passport photo as well.

You ask me to furnish you my biodata but I'm not exactly sure what you mean. You already know who and where I am, presumably from the World Trade Directory through which you said you were able to locate me. The only other things I can tell you is that I'm 39 years old, with dual UK/Georgian citizenship, and single. I date a girl named Olga, an East German massage therapist here at the hotel. She's a beautiful girl, an Anna Kornikova look-alike, except 6 inches shorter and about 240 lbs heavier.

That's all I can think of. Tell me if there's anything else you need to know.

Lewd



Lewd Noogie

February 17, 2006

Robert,

I was expecting to hear from you today. What's happening?

Lewd



Robert Edwards

Sat, 18 Feb 2006

Dear Lewd

Thanks for your last email.I will furnish all the VISA details.Please with your BIODATA.

Regards,
Mr.Robert Edwards



Lewd Noogie

February 18, 2006

Robert,

I was sort of expecting to receive your visa application this week - what's the holdup? You should be able to fill out the forms in about 20 minutes. Please, get it to me tomorrow so I can submit it on Monday and get things moving.

Lewd



Robert Edwards

Sun, 19 Feb 2006

Dear Noogie

How are you today?

Report reaching from the Diplomat says that you are not complying to instructions.WHY?

Awaiting your concern now.

Best Regards,
Mr.Robert Edwards



Lewd Noogie

February 20, 2006

Robert,

I'm not sure what you're referring to as far as instructions from the diplomat; he hasn't given me any instructions. I haven't heard from him in over a week.

I was hoping to receive your visa application over the weekend so I could get started on processing your visa today. What is the holdup? It only takes about 20 minutes to fill it out. Robert, I can't stress too much how important this is. You're going to blow the schedule on this thing and like I told you before I don't want to end up in a situation where your money is here and you aren't. Please, get that to me tomorrow.

Lewd



Robert Edwards

Mon, 20 Feb 2006

Dear Lewd

Thanks for your email.

Yes it is true that under hours one would completed all the information in the VISA application form.

As i said based on the news received from that Lewd REFUSED to fill colums in the FORM where you asked to submit a Photocopy of your Driver's License /International Passport.

Lets get things right .

Awaiting your concern.
Reagrds,
Robert Edwards



Lewd Noogie

February 21, 2006

Robert,

First lets talk about my passport or drivers license copy - I do not send scans of my identification over the internet, period. Identity theft is rampant these days and it's just not a smart thing to do. I also see no reason why they need it. Robert, this is about the wierdest money transfer I've ever been involved in. When I transfer money to someone the bank never requests to see identification of the receiver, they just send it to whomever I tell them to. I don't understand why this should be different.

If you are in agreement that it doesn't take long to fill out the visa application, then where is it? Why don't I have it yet?

Lewd



Robert Edwards

Wed, 22 Feb 2006

Dear Lewd

Thanks for your email.

We started this relationship very well and wonder why this distrust and misgivings.As you mentioned there is different between account opening and transfers by account holders.Lewd if you cannot disclosed your IDENTITY/fees as required lets forget the deal.

Anyway, i was issued Diplomatic Passport yesteday that eanbles me to travell now to anywhere i so desired.

Wish you good luck in all your human endeavours.

Best Regards,
Mr.Robert Edwards



Lewd Noogie

February 22, 2006

Well, I'm sorry to see it end this way, but like I said, this is one of the screwiest money transfers I've ever been involved with. I'm sure you'll complete it ok, though.

Just to give you a friendly heads-up - Diplomatic passport or not, you still need visas wherever you go. That's just the way it is.

By the way, I'm not sure what you meant by 'identity/fees' but I guess it's not important now.

Good luck to you.
Lewd


[I've definitely lost Robert. Yes, he's probably gone for good...]


Robert Edwards

Fri, 24 Feb 2006

Dear Lewd

Thanks for your email.

As informed by the Diplomat Lewd declined to provide Identity/Administrative Service Charge of USD$5,500.00 required to consummate the transaction.By and large,it is all over now since you did not accede to requirements.

Diplomatic Passport does not require VISA only at the port of Entry.Wish you good luck in all your future transaction.

Regards,
Mr.Robert Edwards



Lewd Noogie

February 24,2006

Robert, my friend, so good to hear from you but I'm afraid I have no idea what you're talking about.

I don't understand your email at all. What is this about USD $5,500? Nothing was ever mentioned to me about that. I'm confused???

Look, I don't know what you've decided to do, and I don't know who's advising you, but they're feeding you a line of horse puckey. We have people with diplomatic passports staying at this hotel all the time and they all have to have VISAS. And they can't get them at port of entry! They have to get them before they come.here. And I know this because the hotel has to REGISTER their visa! So go back and told whoever gave you this line of crap that they're full of s***! I know what I'm talking about!

Robert, I have been ready to help you any way I can but it's a thankless task. Because I am hesitant to send my scanned copy of my passport, which is a foolish thing to do these days, you want to discontinue the partnership. Ok, if that's how you feel, that's your choice. I was only trying to help.

I wish you the best of luck with this.

Lewd



[I've blown it. I'm sure I've heard the last of him now...]

[And yet here he is!]


Robert Edwards

Sat, 25 Feb 2006

Dear Lewd

Thanks for your email.The begining of our relationship was pure and cordial till third parties came in which is not out of place.I am ready and willing to work with you but let have at any means to IDENTIFY you.

Also indicate your readiness to settle the Administrative service charge of $5,500.00 to quicken the transfer. The offer and opportunity is still open to you.

I will apply for the VISA as directed by you -Lewd.Awaiting your concern.

Best Regards,
Robert Edwards



Lewd Noogie

February 25, 2006

Robert,

I'm more confused than ever.

Number one, I thought you told me to forget this deal, that you didn't want me involved anymore. Why did you change your mind?

Number two, I don't understand this identification issue. YOU FOUND ME! If that World Trade Directory, and I have no clue as to what that is, had enough information for you to choose me to help you, then what further identification do you need? Like I told you before, I don't send my identification through email. It is foolish to do so. If you still want me to participate, when you get here I'll give you a copy of BOTH my passport and driver's license suitable for framing.

And what's this $5,500? I have no idea what that is about. I went back through the documents that guy van Dick sent me and there was no mention of $5,500. Robert, I don't have a problem throwing a little money at this deal but I want to know what I'm getting for my money. Why would it cost so much to transfer money from account to account?

And lastly, I don't understand your hesitation to get a visa. You MUST have a visa to come to Russia. Period! I don't care what kind of passport you have, you have to get a visa and it takes time to get it. I can get it quicker here than you can there.

If you want me to help you then you need to listen to what I tell you. Send me the completed visa application, a passport photo, and tell me what this $5,500 is all about.

Lewd



Robert Edwards

Mon, 27 Feb 2006

Dear Lewd

Thanks for your detailed email.

The change of mind is borne out my first love and impression you gave me to ensure that we finalize this transaction as quick as possible.

Lewd the SNAG is your refusal to provide any form of identity for yourself and this angered the Diplomat and he directed me to discontinue with you and my compliance with Diplomat advise was based on Impulse and Lewd i advise you should not capitalize on my change of mind to unduly sufer me in this transaction.

The $5,500.00 represents viz-

(1) Cost Of Administration
( 2)Access Charge,Logistics/C.O.T
(3)Court Affidavit/Stamp Duty Fees.

Lewd Noogie remember that your share for participation is 25% of USD$18Million and this has been communicated to you earlier.

I will fill the VISA form and send it to you by email attachement including my passport.Please endeavour to send the $5,500.00 to Van Djilk by Western Union Money transfer VIA receiver's Name that will be given to you for necessary action.

Lewd let me respect your word of honour as against the Diplomat advise.Hope all is now settled.

Best Regards,
Mr.Robert Edwards



Premium Securities & Finance Co. (L. Van Djik)

Mon, 27 Feb 2006

Dear Sir,

RE: APPROVED RELEASE OF CONSIGNMENT.

After thorough scrutiny and verification of your claim. And in board meeting held this morning it was decided that your consignment be forwarded to you.

You are therefore advised to pay the sum of Five Thousand Five Hundred Dollars (US$5,500.00) only, representing handling/access charges, and administrative cost respectively.

Pay immediately the amount of the required charges via western union money transfer in favor of the chief administration officer below:

Name: KELVIN ELIZE OKOSODO

Address: Amsterdam, the Netherlands.

You are also by this notification advised to address and endorsed a letter stating that Premium Finance is authorized to act/conclude this transaction on your behalf.

If you elect to proceed based on the above, indicate same by forwarding the requested letter with the evidence of payment covering the above cost, we shall conclude the needful.

However, be advised that, our demands/request made in respect to this transaction, is in accordance with the rules and regulations obtainable herein.

We expect you to comply accordingly.

L. Van Dijk.
Head of operations



Lewd Noogie

February 28, 2006

Mr. Van Dick,

I thank you very much for your email instructions.

I need your cooperation and understanding to comply with your requests. You see, I am currently consulting to a small resort hotel here in Gadyukina, Russia. We are somewhat isolated here in the Ural mountains and there is nothing remotely resembling a Western Union office for hundreds of miles. I presume you have an account to which I could make an online transfer. Please send me the account information as soon as possible. I will also require your invoice for the necessary fees.

Thank you very much,
Lewis D. Noogie



Lewd Noogie

February 28, 2006

Robert,

I was contacted by the company in Amsterdam and they requested the $5,500.00 that you had previously mentioned. They want it by Western Union but we don't have one of those anywhere near here so I have requested an account that I can do an online transfer to. Looks like we're getting close to wrapping this thing up.

Robert, I hate to come across as cranky, but it's time to stop talking about your visa application and take some action on it. I was somewhat dismayed and upset to learn that you haven't even filled the damn thing out yet. Robert, your visa is the critical path on this deal and you need to act on it NOW. Please get it to me today or by tomorrow at the latest.

I'll keep you informed of progress with Amsterdam.

Lewd

ps - I did not understand the part in your email about me 'capitalizing on your change of mind to unduly sufer you in this transaction'. How do you expect me to capitalize on this? I have done nothing but try to help you on this and have bent over backwards to do so. And you're worried about this diplomat being angry? Why are you worried about him? Screw the diplomat, he hasn't done anything to help us on this.



Premium Securities & Finance Co. (L. Van Djik)

Tue, 28 Feb 2006

ATTN:MR LEWIS D: NOOGIE

Sir,

In response to your mail.

Please be informed that the choice of western union money transfer is made because of the urgency involved. The bank wire option will take a couple of weeks to clear, because it will have to go through our trustees account.

However, we still recommend the western union or money gramm option to hasten the process of concluding this transaction speedily. But if you wish to proceed with the wire option, not minding all the bottlenecks, please do let us know.

Thank you.
L.Van Dijk.



Robert Edwards

Tue, 28 Feb 2006

Dear Lewd

Thanks for your email and your concern to see that victory is archieved.

Definitely you will have the VISA application today.

Please work closely with Amsterdam to finalize the transaction as fast as possible.

Thanking your co-operation so far.

Best Regards,
Mr.Robert Edwards



Robert Edwards

March 1, 2006

Tue, 28 Feb 2006

Dear Lewd

As requested see my passport photograph.

Thank you.Regards,
Robert Edwards


[Robert sends a photo. Some Korean guy...]


Robert Edwards

Tue, 28 Feb 2006

Dear Lewd

How are you today?

Amsterdam is WORRIED of their inability to reach you via Phone.Please re-confirm your Tel.Number to them now.Please give them your CELL PHONE NUMBER to quicken communications as we cannot finish this transaction via emails alone.VOICE contact is a MUST.

Lewd do give me any form of identification also.WAITING.

Thanking your co-operation.

Best Regards,
Mr.Robert Edwards



Lewd Noogie

March 1, 2006

Robert,

It's nice to finally be able to put a face with your name, but WHERE IS YOUR VISA APPLICATION??? Robert, the photo is of no use without the application! I can't begin working on your visa without it! You said I would have it yesterday. Do you want to come here or not? If you don't want to then tell me now.

Robert, again, I don't like to be harsh but if you were working for me I would have fired your lazy ass a long time ago. What do I have to do to make you see the importance of getting that application to me so that I can get you a visa?

Integrity is what I am all about and I refuse to put you or myself in a position where your money is here and you are not. If for some reason you get refused a visa, and it does happen sometimes, we would have a major problem on our hands.

Right now I am not concerned about how worried Amsterdam is. That guy van Dick works for us, not the other way around. How worried he is no concern of ours, because dealing with him is the easy part and will take the least amount of time. The visa is the critical part.

Please, get it to me today.

Lewd



Robert Edwards

Wed, 1 Mar 2006

Dear Lewd

Thanks for your email.Indeed impressed with your concern and professional handling of the matter.

I personally realized the importance of my presence in Russia.

Please do not under estimate too the importance of VAN in Amsterdam to the success of this transaction.

With complete fulfillment of all requirement i see no reason why Visa will not be granted.If the event of not granting Visa will shall know what to do.By way how far about the PURCHASE of Hotel.Lewd have you seen any one?What is the COST?What of staff training/development?

What is the position of the $5,500.00 to quicken all Administrative services required.

As per the Tel. No/Any form of Identity where are we now.Do open up for me Lewd.It is important we resolve CORRECT TEL.Number to CONTACT you in case of urgent info. concerning remittance.Email correspondence is not sufficient.Do contact VAN as soon as possible.

Lewd your concern is highly appreciated and hope it will be sustained till we finalize our joint venture pending.

Awaiting your good news.

Best Regards,
Mr.Robert Edwards



[Well I'll be... He sent me the visa application, and it's filled out! Looks like a 6-year old helped him, but, hey...]

Robert Edwards

Wed, 1 Mar 2006

Dear Lewd

Find the application as requested.

Please do the needful.

Awaiting your good news

Regards,
Robert Edwards.



Premium Securities & Finance Co. (L. Van Djik)

Wed, 01 Mar 2006

Sir,

Find below is the account co-ordinates provided by the storage facility(Our trustees)

HSBC BANK
128 QUEENS ROAD BRANCH
HONG KONG
SWIFT CODE HSBCHKHHH
ACCOUNT NO: 474-457-454-838
ACCOUNT NAME: ALLIED WELL INTL LTD.

Regards,
L. Van Dijk.



Lewd Noogie

March 1, 2006

Mr. Van Dick,

Per my request yesterday, 28 February, please submit your invoice for the required fees as soon as possible. As soon as I receive it I will make the transfer to the account provided.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie



Lewd Noogie

March 1, 2006

Robert,

Finally!! Ok, now we can start making some progress.

First thing, you didn't answer three of the most important questions on the form:

1. Present Citizenship
2. First and middle names in your passport
3. Place of birth.

Send me this information and I'll write it in on the form.

The company in Amsterdam sent me their account information and I'll do the transfer as soon as I receive their invoice.

Ok, I'll get this application to the proper people this afternoon. It's gonna cost me about 30,000 rubles (about $1,500) to expedite this but we'll get it much quicker. You should be able to pick up your visa in about two weeks.

Lewd



Robert Edwards

Wed, 1 Mar 2006

Dear Lewd

Thanks for your email and your deep sense of concern.Find below the info. requested:-

1) Present Citizenship:-------------South Korea
2) Midlle Name :-------------- Robert Obong Edwards
3) Place Of Birth :-------------- Seoul Korea

Lewd you have shown unflinching efforts and determination to ensure success.

Please i still remind you for the uptenth time to furnish AMSTERDAM your correct Tel. Number/Any Form of Identity.It is important.

What is the status of any hotel for purchase in no distance time.We must at three to make choice. The earlier you start scouting the better.

What kind of INVOICE do you need from Amsterdam before the transfer USD$5,500.00.What has invoice got to do with the transfer?

Awaiting your favourable news.

Best Regards,
Robert Edwards



Lewd Noogie

March 2, 2006

Robert,

As a businessman, surely you are aware that I can't show an expenditure on my books without an invoice. Not to worry, as soon as Van Dick sends it to me I'll make the transfer.

I don't know what all this huff is about giving Amsterdam my correct telephone number - I gave them my number, the same number I gave to you. And it works perfectly well.

Everything is in place now to finish this up. I turned in your visa application to my friend at Russian Immigration and he promises to push it through the system. You might as well go ahead and make your flight reservations for around March 16. I've got a suite reserved for you here at the Zayebis resort that I'm sure you'll find comfortable. I've also asked Ms. Bushburn, my admin assistant, to make a run to Irkutsk and scout out a few of the hotels there as possible investment opportunities.

Better bring your winter clothes, my friend.

Lewd



[The Security Company promptly provides an invoice...]

Premium Securities & Finance Co. (L. Van Djik)

Wed, 01 Mar 2006

ATTN: MR LEWD NOOGIE

Sir,

Find attached is the proforma invoice for your perusal.

Please be advised to forward a copy of the transfer/wire clip to enable us proces the release of the consignment from the storage facility.

Regards,
L.Van Dijk



Robert Edwards

Thu, 2 Mar 2006

Dear Lewd

Thanks for your efforts and deternination to see that we are victorious all the way.

Please indicate what/nature of the invoice requested to meet your books and records.

By and large you have impressed me but worried by your refusal to intimate your identity.

As suggested i will make arrangements to be with you by middle of march 2006.Do all the spade work pending my arrival.

Thanks for all your efforts so far.

Regards,
R.Edwards.



Robert Edwards

Thu, 2 Mar 2006

Dear Lewd

My earlier email of today refers.Please confirm now the receipt of the requested invoice from Van Dick to enable you initiate the transfer.

Below is Van Dick report:-

CANT SEEMS TO BE GETTING THROUGH TO THE NUMBER. SOMEONE ELSE PICKS AND SAID THEY DONT KNOW MR NOOGIE.

Awaiting your concern.

Best Regards,
Mr.Robert Edwards



Lewd Noogie

March 2, 2006

Robert,

I received the invoice from Amsterdam and I went online today to make the transfer. The website for my bank was down and is expected to be back up tomorrow morning. However, I'm afraid we have a bit of a problem here.

When I first discussed getting you a visa with Boris, my friend at Russian Immigration, I told him pretty much what you had told me in your email, vis., that you were from North Korea, living in Seoul, and that you had traveled a lot in Europe and Asia. Well, Boris called last night with some questions that I was unable to answer but I'm sure there's a reasonable explanation and I'm sure you can provide the information to smooth this over.

I had told him that you are North Korean, yet you indicate that you were born in Seoul. Now, my geology really sucks but Boris informed me that Seoul is in South Korea, not the north. What gives?

I had also told him that you have traveled extensively throughout Europe and Asia in the course of your currency exchange business, yet you indicated only one country, the Netherlands, that you have been to in the last 10 years.

Robert, I'm sure you have a reasonable explanation for this, at least I hope you do, and I just need you to explain it to me so I can explain it to Boris.

Let me know ASAP.
Lewd



Premium Securities & Finance Co. (L. Van Djik)

Fri, 03 Mar 2006

ATTN: MR LEWD NOOGIE

Sir,

We write to inform you that a copy of the proforma invioce requested has been sent. We expect you to forward evidence of payment allowing us immediately perfect our fiduciary obligations to you as beneficiary.

Regards,
L. Van Dijk.



Robert Edwards

March 3, 2006

Dear Lewd

Thanks for your email.I also thanked you for your painstaking efforts so far.

Remember that it was one(1) country before it was divided into two North Korea and South Korea respectively.My place of Birth is Seoul before the division.

Yes i have travelled extensively to Europe mostly especially The Netherlands and the rest by Train to the rest Europe Countries.

Lewd if he wants to Help let him help us please.There are applicants first time traevellers/minors still they gets VISAS.Lewd do all that is necessary to enable us move forward.

Hoping by next wek everything will be OKAY as per the transfer/Visa.

Do expedite action on the transfer today and furnish Van Dick the transfer information for necessary action on your behalf.

Thanks a whole lot for your continued support/advise for smooth transaction.

Have a fun filled weekend.How is your Girl Friend?

Best regards,
Mr.Robert Edwards.



[Hmmm. His visa application says he was born in 1952, a few years after the partitioning of Korea. Probably not important, though...]

Lewd Noogie

March 3, 2006

Robert,

I received your email and immediately sent your information to Boris over at Russian Immigration. He wrote back and said that he'll help us out with the countries-visited issue, but it's going to cost me. It's turning out to be a good thing you set that 5% aside to cover stuff like this.

He did mention one other thing that I completely forgot - you have to go have an HIV test and send me a scan of the doctor's certificate. It'll be great if you can do this today or tomorrow and get it to me on Monday. Everybody coming here has to get one, even me. I had mine reduced in size and laminated and I wear it around my neck to show the girls that I'm safe. We'll do the same with yours once you get here.

If you get it to me by Monday then I think we can hold to our mid-march target.

Lewd



Robert Edwards

Fri, 3 Mar 2006

Lewd

See Below:-

I am one of the defectors from the north and I am presentlyresiding in South Korea.I have been in this Country for sometime now.Before defecting from the North,I was into currency exchange business and I was always travelling to other parts of Asia and Europe and during that period, I was able to move out my funds totally USD$18Million and deposit it in a bank in EUROPE.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Noogie,do appeal to your friend-BORIS- to help us regardless of mixup or erorr.

Also reach AMSTERDAM the true position of the transfer $5,500.00 to enable them speedy action of your File.

Awaiting your good news.

Regards,
Robert



Robert Edwards

Fri, 3 Mar 2006

Dear Lewd

I just received your email.I really cannot thank you enough of all your efforts so far.

Surely 5% is set aside for unforeseen/contingency expenses like this to Immigration Officials/Transfer you are making today as you promised to ensure smooth passage of transaction.

Lewd Noogie as the Account Holder/Recipient of funds USD$18Million all expenses made by Lewd Noogie will be deducted from source.No cause for alarm as records are there to support your claims/deductions.

As requested i will go the Hospital today to conduct the HIV test.As you know it is a Cultured test and may be available latest tuesday next week and will be mailed to you accordingly.

Lewd contact Amsterdam now with the latest info.concerning the transfer.

Looking forward to meeting an unsually nice fellow like Noogie soon.

Keep me abreast of all development.Till remain bless.

Best Regards,
Mr.Robert Edwards



Lewd Noogie

March 4, 2006

Robert,

I went on my bank's website again yesterday to make the transfer to Amsterdam and their website was still down. I sent an email to one of the bank managers who is a friend of mine to inquire as to how soon it would be back up again. He wrote back yesterday evening and said they were experiencing problems with their site but asked me to send him the information via email and he would personally take care of it for me on Monday. I'm inclined to tell him to hold off until you get your HIV certificate to me on Tuesday; I'm sure everything is fine but as I have said before, we want to be 100% certain that we're going to be able to get you here before we transfer the money. If you couldn't get a visa because of a glitch with an HIV certificate we'd have to go through this whole transfer thing again.

I have reserved you a suite here at the hotel for 2 weeks from March 16. I figure we can find you more permanent accommodations in 2 weeks time. I had to pay up front because we're in peak skiing season. I say again it's a good thing that you set aside that 5% for this kind of thing.

Ok, we're moving ahead. Robert, let's not let this HIV certificate lag like you did with the visa application. This is important - your visa application will sit on Boris' desk until he gets it and, no, it's not something you can do at port of entry.

Lewd



Robert Edwards

Sat, 4 Mar 2006

Dear Lewd

Thanks for your email.

I have carefully x-rayed your email and noted some contradictions.It is not wise and ideal for Lewd to link or tie the transfer $5,500.00 to my obtaining HIV test as just required yesterday by the Imigration Officer the 3/03/06.There is no basis for comparison untill i sent the HIV test before you effect the transfer.It is unwise,unbusinesslike and unnecessary delay to slow this transaction as against Lewd past SPIRIT/ZEAL to see that we finalize the transaction fast.

I am compared to say that you have nerver ever approached bank and found out that there Server Or Website is down.There is no where in the WORLD that a bank that worth its salt will allow Server or Website to be down for two(2)consecutive days.It is untrue.The accompanying loss to the bank will be too much and will affect there customers morales/confidence in the bank.

Lewd it is equally untrue for you to say that there is no Western Union Money Transfer Or Money Gram transfer services in Russia.

Anyway i must state here catecorically that i am eager as a bride to see that we conclude the transaction as time allows and we(Lewd/Robert) must be cloggs to the wheel of progress.Do your part and i Robert will certainly do my part as required.

The 5% out USD$18Million set aside for expenses remains.

The delay of submitting the VISA applications arosed from indecision on my part as holder of Diplomatic Passport couple with Promised froim the Diplomat to supply me travell documents.Delay was not deliberate.

As conditions or requirements for the Visa i will make available the HIV test as soon as the Hospital gives to me.It is not in my power .

Lewd the motivating spirit with which we have been pursuing the transaction must not be allowed to die for unecessary excuses.Please i demand for your IDENTITY as well and furnish Amsterdam your direct/private Tel.Number as we move into the CRITICAL point of the transaction.I trust that you execute the transfer unfailingly by monday in oder for things to be in tandem.

Have a great weekend with your spouse.

Best Regards,
Mr.Robert Edwards.



Lewd Noogie

March 6, 2006

Let me get this straight, Robert - you're saying that I've been lying to you about my efforts to help you?

Alright, my friend, let me set you straight on a couple of items.

1. You say that I never approached the bank through it's website to try to transfer the money and that it's impossible for a bank's website to be down for two days. I find this statement offensive to an extreme. I certainly did attempt to make the transfer two days in a row and when I could not do so I approached the bank's management personally for a workaround solution. But I guess someone who doesn't even know how to do an online transfer would know more about this kind of thing than I would. You never told me you were an internet expert, Robert.

2. I never told you there was no Western Union in Russia - I said there is no Western Union here in Gadyukina, and there isn't. Western Union offices can only be found in the major cities and Gadyukina is a small village. The nearest on that my administrative assistant could find is in Irkutsk, about an 8-hour drive away.

3. You say it is unwise/unbusinesslike and an unnecessary delay for me to link your HIV certificate to finalizing the transaction. I strongly disagree, and I have told you before that I would not risk having possession of your money without you being here or your arrival imminent. If you had any common sense you would see that I am only trying to protect your interests.

4. I don't know what the hell your talking about with this identity issue. You obviously had enough information about me when you chose me to help you. I told you from the beginning that I absolutely do not send scans of my passport or drivers license through email. You will also notice that I never asked you to send me yours.

I see no future for a transaction in where one of the partners does not trust the other. I also see no future in a transaction where the efforts of one of the partners is not appreciated. I've put a lot of money into this thing, Robert - paying to get your visa expedited and paying upfront for your accommodation here at the hotel. None of this is refundable to me.

I cannot operate in climate of mistrust and I have asked my bank to halt the transfer to Amsterdam. I strongly suggest you find someone else to help you with this.

Lewd

ps - I got a note from that guy Clarkson who was feeding you all that bogus crap about not needing visas. I'm gonna sort him out too.



Sir Donald Clarkson

Sun, 5 Mar 2006

Attn:-L.Noogie

How are you ?

Please give me the exact situation report concerning your remittance for onward comunication to my good friend Mr.Robert Edwards.

Treat as urgent.

Truly Yours.
Clarkson



Lewd Noogie

March 6, 2006

Mr. Clarkson,

How nice of you to write again and ask about how things are going with the transaction.

You, sir, have probably been more instrumental in delaying this procedure than any other single issue. If you had not put this crap about Robert not needing visas to travel in his head, this thing would probably be done by now.

I have just terminated my involvement in this and he will need to find someone else to finish it up. It has been a thankless task and you have certainly done your part to completely screw things up. The biggest favor that you can do for Robert is to stay the hell out of his business.

Have a nice day, jerkoff.
Lewis D. Noogie



Robert Edwards

Mon, 6 Mar 2006

Dear Lewd

Thanks for your email dated 6/03/06.

I am not writing to join issues with you but just to apologize and say am sincerely sorry if my email of 4/03/06 has in any way hurts you or offended you to this extent.

If you reflects on my past emails i have never stops to commend or appreciates all your(Lewd Noogie) efforts/concern shown towards the successfull conclusion of this transaction.

Lewd i never ever distrust or mistrust you a bit since the inception of our evergreen relationships concerning our common investment pending.

For sure i did not imaging in my widest imagination that remote village or town( Gadyukina)you operates from do not have Western Union Money Transfer as i presummed that you were in the heart of Russia city.Please forgive and forget.

Lewd i was disturbed in your email when you mentioned that the HIV report if ready on tuesday before the bank Manager will effect the transfer.You remember HIV test was never mentioned in the VISA application you sent to me and i would carried the test out and attached same for record purposes as requested.

Lewd/Robert has a mission and vision and we MUST not allow MISINTERPRETATION of messages to bring DIVIDE and ill feelings between us at this critical point we have gotten to.

Lewd there is certainly a future and hope for Robert in Lewd as far as this transaction is concern and we have gone so far and will not be alright for you to make sudden U -TURN to jeopardize all structures and arrangements already in place.

Please ask your Friend Boris the Immigartion Officer to continue with his efforts and tell your bank Manager that you have reslove the differences with your partner and lets move forward.

Lewd i can really see your determination,seriously and readiness to help me Robert out indeed.As stated whatever amout of money Lewd has spent in form P.R. to actualize this transaction will be refunded back to you.This is UNCONDITIONAL.

Once again i am sincerely sorry if i inadventedly hurts you by brother and a friend Lewd.

Certain to get the HIV report by tomorrow and send it you via email for necessary action.

Awaiting your favourable news.

Regards,
Mr.Robert Edwards



Lewd Noogie

March 7, 2006

Robert,

Look, my friend, when I do business with someone I try to always do what is best for the partnership. If the partnership doesn't work out, I try to ensure that both people walk away with as little financial damage as possible. Ok, if you couldn't get a visa to come here I lose a few thousand dollars but you lose nothing. If I was less than honest, I could go ahead and take your money and not worry if you got here or not. You could lose millions! I don't know what kind of people you are used to dealing with, but this is how Lewd Noogie operates - honesty, sincerity and transparency.

With this in mind does it make any sense at all to you why I would not want to take possession of your money without you being here or at least being close to arriving? I would think that knowing this would make you pleased that you were dealing with someone of integrity instead of making you suspicious.

Here's what I'll do - you send me your HIV certificate tomorrow so I can get it to Boris and we'll know that your visa is in progress. Once I receive it, I will contact the manager of my bank and tell him to go ahead and pay the bank in Amsterdam. I will contact the bank in Amsterdam and tell them to hold the transfer to my account until you have your airline tickets in hand. This way we're assured that you and your money will arrive at the same time.

If this is acceptable to you then send the certificate and we'll wrap this thing up.

Lewd



Premium Securities & Finance Co. (L. Van Djik)

Tue, 07 Mar 2006

MR NOOGIE,

We are still expecting you to send the transfer slip you claimed to have made. Moreover, you do not seem to care about your consignment anymore, that is given us some concerns, if you where not just making a bogus claim.

Thank you,
L. Van Dijk



Robert Edwards

Tue, 7 Mar 2006

Dear Lewd

How are you today?

Find herewith the Medical report as required.Please confirm the receipt of this vital email.

Thanks ,
Mr.Robert Edwards



Robert Edwards

Tue, 7 Mar 2006

Dear Lewd,

Thanks for your email.I am 100% satisfied and pleased with your plans/modus operandi to ensure victory.There no more to say other than to tell you a BIG thank you.

Please quicken everything that is needed to be done on your side .Any information or requirement demanded of me will be complied with.

By and large, all your actions are in my best interest.Once we conclude i will make you a life time Vice President of my Company.

Do reach Amsterdam with the expected information concerning the transfer to make them tranquil.

Again SORRY for the misunderstanding of your email message.God bless Lewd Noogie.

Awating your good news.

Best Regards,
Mr.Robert Edwards


[Robert's HIV certificate is in-hand, and I'm pleased to see he's been given a clean bill of health. I guess I've made Robert jump through enough hoops, time for the scrape-off...]

Lewd Noogie

Robert,

I have good news and I have bad news.

First let me say that I'm glad to hear that you are 100% pleased with my modus operandi. The good news is that I sent the $5,500 to Van Dick. I also sent him an additional $5,000 to cover any unforeseen expenses that may come up during completion of the modalities.

Just kidding, there is no good news. There really is bad news though.

The bad news is that, while your HIV test came back negative, you did test positive for AMS (Advanced Mugu Syndrome). And even worse, it appears serious enough that it's probably terminal.

Yours was about the silliest 419 email I've ever received and I've received some howlers. A wealthy North Korean named Robert Edwards? Give me a break! When are you clowns gonna figure out that this crap just doesn't work anymore. Since we've been friends for so long I'm going to give you a tip - anyone who answers one of your slimy emails is just fulking with you like I've been doing.

I hope you aren't too upset about me jerking you around like this, and I don't know why you should be. After all, you were the one who was trying to hose me on this deal. I'm the one that should be pissed off and if I wasn't busy tormenting a couple of other scammers I'd be tempted to come down there to Africa and get jihad on your ass.

So fulk you and tell your idiot buddies Mugu Van Dick and Sir Mugu Clarkson (diplomat, my ass) that I said fulk them too.

Remain blessed and stay in touch.

Your partner,
Lewd



[Apparently the diplomat got the word late...]

Sir Donald Clarkson

Tue, 7 Mar 2006

Attn:-Lewd Noogie

Sir,

Reference is made to your last email.As you mentioned i will step aside till you finalize your project with Mr.Robert Edwards.

I only try to do my best in this circumstance.Please you and Edwards must not forget my little contributions at the close of the business say next week.

Wish you good luck in all your human endeavours.

Thanks,
Mr.Clarkson.



Lewd Noogie

March 7, 2006

Sir Mugu Clarkson,

You're busted. Fulk you. Talk to Robert.

Lewis D. Noogie



Robert Edwards

Tue, 7 Mar 2006

Dear Lewd

Thanks for your email.

I am taken aback by your email.

Please expantiate.

Regards,
Mr.R.Edwards.



Lewd Noogie

March 7, 2006

Robert, my friend, allow me to expantiate.

You've been HAD, my brother! It's over!

I am finished with you, now crawl back into your hole. I have Mrs. Abacha to deal with.

Remain blessed.
Lewd

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