Don't False Me to Do Stupid Thing to You


The flip-off! this time we mean it (we think)! april 23, 2008

Lewis D. "Lewd" Noogie, who has graced these pages many times, receives The Contract Killer letter.

This is the fourth or fifth random death threat that I've received. I always respond to them but the lad on the other end usually gets his email address shut down before I can get the thing off the ground. I think these guys are here for the duration.

The action to date:

How convenient! Lewd actually needs the services of a contract killer. He wants his ex-wife and his massage therapist bumped off and talks the "killer" into taking on this new job instead.
Growing impatient, the Lads bring on phony FBI agent "Mark Johan" who threatens Lewd with prison.
"Contract killer" Kevin kills "Mark Johan's" (imaginary) wife and son.
"Mark Johan" has "Kevin" arrested. [They apparently sit next to each other in the cyber cafe, see below. They might even be the same person on different days. Picture the perp walk.]
Then new "FBI agent" Tony Love, promises to get Lewd's case dropped if he pays up.
Lewd asks "Tony" to have "Mark" knocked off.
"Tony" tells Lewd to contact "Lake Cloe" of "Ascom Assassins".
"Tony" then demands Lewd pay to avoid arrest for conspiring to kill "Mark".
"Lake Cloe" quotes Lewd a price to make his troubles go away - "Mark", "Agent Edwards", and the duplicitous "Tony".
Then things get complicated.

The Scammers:
William White - Hired Killer, Leader of the Hit Team (williamwhite_west2007@yahoo.com)
Kevin Krob - The Hired Killer's Boss [does his banking under the name of MR O. EMAKPOR at HALIFAX PLC]
William White: Received: from [64.214.231.141] --
Kevin Krob: Received: from [64.214.231.140]
I'm guessing the two are not far apart.

[Global Crossing [an international ISP - this - or at least the nearest router - possibly in Saudi Arabia, near Shaqra.]
Joined by:
Mark Johan - "Department of the FBI" (yeah right) (fbi_investigationscriminalsfight@yahoo.co.uk)
from [64.214.231.140] (how strange, he sits next to mob boss Kevin Krob)
Tony Love - fellow corrupt FBI associate to Mark Johan
Mr Lake Cloe - head of "Ascom Assassins"
and by mention only, the mysterious Agent Edwards
Ken West - yet another "FBI agent"

Lewd & Co.
Lewis D. "Lewd" Noogie - Innocent International Hotel Consultant
Maya Bushburn - Lewd's Administrative Assistant, who bears a striking resemblance to Carmen Electra
Olga - East German massage therapist with a taste for handcuffs


William White
<williamwhite_west2007@yahoo.com>
Fri, 25 Jan 2008
Subject: BE MORE CAREFUL....

Hello Lewis Noogie

am very sorry for you Xxxxxx, is a pity that this is how your life is going to end as soon as you don't comply. As you can see there is no need of introducing myself to you because I don't have any business with you, my duty as I am mailing you now is just to KILL you and I have to do it as I have already been paid for that.

Someone you call a friend wants you Dead by all means, and the person have spent a lot of money on this, the person also came to us and told me that he wanted you dead and he provided us with your name ,picture and other necessary information's we needed about you. So I sent my boys to track you down and they have carried out the necessary investigation needed for the operation on you, and they have done that but I told them not to kill you that I will like to contact you and see if your life is Important to you or not since their findings shows that you are innocent.
I called my client back and ask him of your email address which I didn't tell him what I wanted to do with it and he gave it to me and I am using it to contact you now. As I am writing to you now my men are monitoring you and they are telling me everything about you.

Now do you want to LIVE OR DIE? As someone has paid us to kill you. Get back to me now if you are ready to pay some fees to spare your life, $15,000 is all you need to spend You will first of all pay $8,000 then I will send a tape to you which i recoeded every discusion i hade with the person who wanted you dead and as soon as you get the tape, you will pay the remaining $10,000. If you are not ready for my help, then I will carry on with my job straight-up.

WARNING: DO NOT THINK OF CONTACTING THE POLICE OR EVEN TELLING ANYONE BECAUSE I WILL KNOW.REMEMBER, SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL WANT YOU DEAD! I WILL EXTEND IT TO YOUR FAMILY, INCASE I NOTICE SOMETHING FUNNY.

DO NOT COME OUT ONCE IT IS 7:PM UNTIL I MAKE OUT TIME TO SEE YOU AND GIVE YOU THE TAPE OF MY DISCUSSION WITH THE PERSON WHO WANT YOU DEAD THEN YOU CAN USE IT TO TAKE ANY LEGAL ACTION. GOOD LUCK AS I AWAIT YOUR REPLY

[Yup, it's the Contract Killer letter all right.]

Lewd Noogie
I don't know who you are but there has to be some mistake here. Did my ex-wife send you?
Lewis Noogie
William White
Subject: WE AWAIT YOUR MAIL IN THE NEXT 24HOURS

HELLO LEWIS NOOGIE,

WE RECEIVED YOUR MAIL AND THE CONTENT WAS WELL NOTED IT SEEMS YOU ARE PLAYING WITH ME I AM WRITING YOU FOR THE LAST TIME BEFORE I ATTACK YOU, IF YOU REALLY KNOW THAT YOU CAN NOT PAY THE MONEY TO SAVE YOU DEAR LIFE TELL ME SO THAT I CAN DISTROY IT FOR YOU, I HAVE ALSO TOLD YOU THAT I WILL NOT TELL YOU WHO ASK US TO KILL YOU AFTER MAKING THE FIRST PAYMENT WE WILL SEND YOU THE TAPE AND YOU WILL SEE THE PERSON THAT WANT YOU DEAD, YOU ARE HEREBY ADVICE TO GET BACK TO US AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVED THIS MAIL SO THAT WE CAN GIVE YOU THE INFORMATION ON HOW TO MAKE THE PAYMENT SO THAT WE CAN SEND YOU THE TAPE.

NOTE: DONT PLAY WITH US BECAUSE IF YOU DO ONE BULLET YOU ARE DOWN FOR LIFE...... WE AWAIT YOUR MAIL IN THE NEXT 24HOURS...
Lewd Noogie
Whoever you are, I am certainly NOT playing with you. I just think you have made a mistake or are looking for a different Lewis Noogie. I'm an international hotel consultant working here in Russia. It MUST be someone else you are looking for.

If it's not my ex-wife who is behind this, the only other person who might want to do me harm is Maya Bushburn, my admin assistant. I DEMAND YOU TELL ME WHO SENT YOU.
William White
Subject: LAST WARNING Lewis Noogie.

Hello Lewis Noogie.

I received you mail and the content was well noted i will like to inform you that i have never been very serious like this in my entire life but if you think that i am joking than dont pay the money that i have ask you to pay to save your fucking life, i am only wrting you because i have seen that you are a loving jengle man but you think that you dont want to listing to me than i will help you to find your stupid life in hell, Before i forget i was paid to Gun you down i will also let you know that this will be the last mail that i will be sending to you if you dont comply my boys will attack you and you will find your stupid fucking life with the devil in hell. Your prompt response in this mail will be of a good help to you.
Lewd Noogie
While I still think you have made a terrible mistake, I know that I do have a few enemies out there who would probably like very much to get rid of me but I can't believe that they would go to these lengths.

I am a reasonable man and I hope that you are reasonable as well. You have to understand that $15,000 is a lot of money to come up with on such short notice and even if I had it at hand I have no way to get it to you. There must be some way we can work this out like gentlemen.

Lewis D. Noogie
William White
Subject: YOUR URGENT RESPONES TO THIS MAIL WILL BE OF A GOOD HELP TO YOU THIS MAIL

HAHAHA, I CAN SEE THAT YOU ARE VERY BRAVE ABOUT IT, AS I HAVE TOLD YOU BEFORE I HAVE NEVER BE MORE SERIOUS LIKE THIS IN MY ENTIRE LIFE, LOOK HERE I HAVE BEEN IN THIS PROFESSION FOR THE PAST YEARS NOW AND MY BOSS HAVE NEVER MADE ANY MISTAKE LET ME TELL YOU THIS IF SOMEONE PAY ME TO KILL MY MOTHER I WILL GO AHEAD AND DO IT, BUT IF YOU THINK THAT YOU WILL WANT TO PLAY WITH ME IT OK THAN I WILL HAVE TO TELL MY boys TO ATTACK YOU SO THAT YOU CAN SPEND YOUR FUCKING LIFE IN HELL WITH THE DEVIL IF I DONT RECEIVE YOUR MAIL IN THE NEXT 24HOURS I WILL HAVE NO OPTION THAN TO ATTACK, I WAS ONLY TRYING TO SPARE YOUR LIFE AND YOU DONT WANT TO COMPLY WITH ME.

LISTEN LET ME TELL YOU WHY I HAVE CHOOSE TO LIVE MY LIFE THIS WAY MY FATHER WAS A VERY LOVELY AND RESPONSIBLE MAN I LOVE HIM SO MUCH BUT YOU SEE HIS BUSINESS FRIEND KILL HIM BECAUSE MY DAD WAS A VERY KIND PERSON EVER SINCE I HAVE BEEN A WICKED AND BAD PERSON TO EVERY ONE THAT PLAY WITH ME, I AM TELLING YOU ALL THIS BECAUSE I AM TAKING YOU AS MY FATHER TOO, BUT I WILL LIKE TO INFORM YOU THAT IF YOU REALLY KNOW THAT YOU CAN NOT AFFORD THAT AMOUNT AT A MOMENT YOU HAVE TO TELL ME HOW MUCH YOU CAN AFFORD SO THAT I CAN GIVE YOU THE INFORMATION ON HOW TO MAKE THE PAYMENT AND TELL ME WHEN YOU WILL BE COMPLETING THE REST OF IT, BUT IF YOU THINK THAT I DONT KNOW WHAT I AM DOING DONT REPLY THIS MAIL, MY EYES IS ALWAYS ON YOU 24HOURS OF THE DAY. YOUR URGENT RESPONES TO THIS MAIL WILL BE OF A GOOD HELP TO YOU THIS MAIL
Lewd Noogie
Like I said earlier, I want us to treat this unfortunate situation like reasonable men. I could probably come up with two or three thousand dollars but to get more would take me some time. But again, I have no way to get it to you.

The one other person I can think of who would want to harm me is Olga, the East German massage therapist here at the hotel. If it's her then you HAVE made a terrible mistake. I know she's been upset about the other woman she thinks I'm seeing, and she has made threats, but you as a man must surely understand situations like this.

Just tell me this much - is it Olga who hired you?
William White
Subject: PAYMENT INFORMATION BE VERY FAST ABOUT IT

AS I HAVE TOLD YOU BEFORE I THAT HAVE TIME TO ANSWER THOSE STUPID QUESTIONS OF YOURS, IF YOU REALLY KNOW THAT YOU CANT AFFORD THAT KIND OF MONEY THAT YOU ARE ASK TO PAY YOU ARE HEREBY ADVICE TO PAY THE ONE YOU HAVE TO MY BOSS WITH THE NAME BELOW AND YOU ARE ALSO ADVICE TO TELL US WHEN YOU WILL BE MAKING THE BALANCE OF THE PAYMENT IN THE NEXT COMING MAIL. ONCE MORE DONT PLAY WITH ME. IF I DONT RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT WITH IN THE NEXT 24HOURS CONSIDER YOUR SELF A DEAD MEAT. BE WARNED.

BELOW ARE THE INFORMATION.
RECEIVER NAME:KEVIN KROB

ADDRESS: UNITED KINGDOM

Fill in the form below with the details of payment as you see in the form you will be given after the payment, you are
Senders name:----------------------------------
Address: ...........................................................
Amount sent:...............................................
MTCN number: ....................................................

endeavour to scan and send the transfer slip to us as soon as the transfer is made to enable us send you tape. you are also advice to send the payment information to my boss.
CONTACT PERSON MR KEVIN KROB
EMAIL:kevinkrob309@yahoo.com
Note do not play with us or else you will be send to hell

[The scam-o-challenged should note that, apart from the frequent threats of death, this is much like the Dead Bank Customer letter. Crook A sends first letter, tries to pass you on to Crook B (the closer), and they share the take. But you knew that.]

Lewd Noogie
Mr. Krob,

Your name and email address were given to me by a man who says he was hired to kill me. I don't know who you are or why you or anyone else would want to do me harm. Please don't tell him I said so but your hired killer doesn't seem terribly bright. Please call him off and lets you and I settle this like reasonable people.

The first thing I need to know is who asked you to send this guy after me. Will you just tell me if the individual is of East German persuasion?

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie
Kevin Krob
Return-Path: <kevinkrob309@yahoo.com>
Subject: PAYMENT INFORMATION BE VERY FAST ABOUT IT

MY boys HAVE TOLD ME ABOUT WHAT YOU TOLD THEM THAT YOU WILL EVERY THING POSSIBLE TO MAKE SURE THAT YOU WILL NOT DIE AND THY ALSO TOLD ME THAT YOU HAVE BEEN GIVEN THE PAYMENT INFORMATION YOU ARE ADVICE TO MAKE THE PAYMENT AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS MAIL IF YOU REALLY LOVE YOUR LIFE BECAUSE IF YOU DONT ACT VERY FAST I DONT HAVE ANY OPTION THAN TO ASK MY boys TO ATTACK YOU, YOU KNOW VERY WELL THAT SOME ONE HAS ALREADY PAID US A LOT OF MONEY TO KILL YOU, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO NOW IS THAT YOU HAVE TO MAKE THE PAYMENT AND SEND DOWN THE PAYMENT SLIP TO ME, BE WARNED DONT PLAY WITH YOUR FUCKING LIFE OR ELSE YOU WILL JOIN THE DEVIL ON HELL
BELOW ARE THE INFORMATION.

RECEIVER NAME:KEVIN KROB

ADDRESS: UNITED KINGDOM

Fill in the form below with the details of payment as you see in the form you will be given after the payment, you are
Senders name:----------------------------------
Address: ...........................................................
Amount sent:...............................................
MTCN number: ....................................................

endeavour to scan and send the transfer slip to us as soon as the transfer is made to enable us send you tape. you are also advice to send the payment information
Lewd Noogie
Mr. Krob,

As I explained to the first guy, I don't have $8,000 at this time. I have only been able to raise about $3,000. And no one has explained to me HOW I'm supposed to send it. I can't just stuff it in an envelope and mail it.

Look, I'm trying to cooperate here but you have to cut me some slack.

Lewd
Kevin Krob
Subject: I WILL WANT TO SEE THE PAYMENT DETAILS WETIN THE NEXT 24HOURS

HELLO BASTARD I HAVE TOLD YOU BEFORE THAT YOU DONT PALY GAMES WITH ME I AM NOT SOMEONE THAT YOU XCAN DO IT WITH IF YOU REALLY KNOW THAT YOU CAN NOT AFFORD THAT KIND OF MONEY THAT MEANS YOU WILL BE A DEAD MEAT IN 24HOURS, BUT I CAN SPARE YOUR FUCKING LIFE ON ONE CONDITION YOU PAY THE ONE YOU SAID YOU HAVE NOW YOU HAVE TO TELL ME WHEN YOU WILL BE MAKING THE REST PAYMENT OR ELSE YOU WILL BE A DEAD BEING YOU ARE HEREBY ADVICE TO MAKE THE PAYMENT WITH THE BELOW INFORMATIONS.

BELOW ARE THE INFORMATION.

RECEIVER NAME:KEVIN KROB

ADDRESS: UNITED KINGDOM

Fill in the form below with the details of payment as you see in the form
Senders name:----------------------------------
Address: ...........................................................
Amount sent:...............................................
MTCN number: ....................................................

endeavour to scan and send the transfer slip to us as soon as the transfer is made to enable us send you tape. you are also advice to send the payment information
Lewd Noogie
Mr. Kolb,

I swear to you that I'm trying to get this done but you and your mouth-breathing, dimwitted friend are not being much help. I have raised $3,000 in cash but you haven't told me how I'm supposed to get it to you. Where do I make the payment? What form are you talking about? What the hell is a 'MTCN'? Is this something from the post office?

I can probably have the rest of the $6,000 in two weeks if that is ok.

And I really wish you wouldn't use that kind of language. I'm doing the best I can here. And I'd still like to know if that East German massage therapist put you up to this.
Kevin Krob
HELLO MR WHAT EVER YOU CALL YOUR SELF, I RECEIVE YOUR MAIL AND I AM WRITING TO TELL YOU THAT THIS IS THE LAST TIME THAT I WILL WRITE YOU IF I DONT RECEIVE YOUR PAYMENT IN THE NEXT COMING MAIL I WILL TELL MY boys TO ATTACK YOU I HAVE TELL YOU BEFORE THAT YOU HAVE TO MAKE THE PAYMENT VIA WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER WITH THE NAME THAT WAS GIVEN TO YOU AND ALSO I WILL LIKE TO INFORM YOU THAT MTCN SIMPLY MEANS MONEY TRANSFER CONTROL NUMBER AS SOON AS YOU MAKE THE PAYMENT THE BANK WILL GIVE IT TO YOU AND YOU WILL SEND IT DOWN WITH THE PAYMENT DETAILS, YOU HAVE ALSO MADE ME UNDERSTAND THAT YOU HAVE ($3,000) YOU HAVE TO MAKE THE PAYMENT VERY FAST AND SEND ALL THE DETAILS TO ME. ALSO NOTE THAT YOU HAVE JUST SAID THAT YOU WILL COMPLETE THAT REST OF THE PAYMENT IN TWO WEEKS TIME I DONT WANT TO REMIND YOU WHEN IT GET TO THAT TIME. SO BE WARNED.

BELOW ARE THE DETAILS

RECEIVER NAME:KEVIN KROB
ADDRESS: UNITED KINGDOM
Senders name:
Address:
Amount sent:
MTCN number: means (money transfer control number)
Lewd Noogie
Mr. Krob,

We have a little problem.

As your boys have undoubtedly told you, the hotel where I work is in Gadyukina, Russia. Gadyukina is a small village and there is nothing remotely resembling a Western Union here. Ask them, they will verify this. Most of the financial transactions I make are wire transfers from my computer.

The nearest city that has a Western Union is Irkutsk, which is 8 hours away by car. The roads are pretty well snowed in and it will be impossible to get there until we have a warming spell. The only way I can think of to get your money to you would be for you to give me an account number where I could wire the money. Or I could meet with one of your boys and pay him the money.

Mr. Krob, I really don't want any trouble but you're putting me in an impossible positiion. This morning I was able to raise another $2,000 so I now have a total of $5,000. I will await your further instructions.

Lewd
Kevin Krob
Subject: DONT PLAY WITH ME

look here mr what ever you call you self i can see that you want to play some games with me i have told you to and make the payment in western union as you must know my boys saw you today and thy wanted to attack you but i have to tell them to wait until i hear from you i promise them that if i dont hear from you till nite fall i will have to instruct them to attck you but count your self very lucky that i just receive your mail i will not send my boys to collect any moneyy from you or give you any account number to send the money to if you really love your life you have to travel and make the payment so that you can be free if by tommorow i dont receive your payment information i will have no option to tell my boys to attack you and gun you down so be warned if you really want to live long. That all i have for you now.
Lewd Noogie
(to William White)

I have a proposition for you. I'm virtually certain that it was Olga, the East German massage therapist here at the hotel who hired you. If this is the case, I'm willing to pay you $20,000 to 'take care of her', if you know what I mean.

I have tried to reason with your boss Mr. Krob but he is a very exciteable person. You, on the other hand, seem to be more reasonable. After all, you did offer me a chance to save my life.

I currently have $5,000 and can get the rest within two weeks. Let me know if you will take the job.

Lewd
William White
Subject: TALK TO MY BOSS ABOUT THIS

AHAHAH your offer is quite interesting but i will have to tell you this that my boss mr kevin krob is not some one that you will have to play with i just finish talking to him on phone and he told me that he receive a mail from you if you really know that you want all this you have to write him and inform him about it i am only working for him i think he will answer you before i for get the person that ask us to kill you have been wanting to hear your death announcement and my boss have been trying to help you that why we did not kill you this morning but all you have to do now is that you have to act fast so that you will not be a dead man that all i have to tell you. so say clear of death and act according to my boss instructions so that you can live long and enjoy your family.
Lewd Noogie
Mr. Krob,

I must confess that I tried to make a deal with one of your boys. I'm convinced that it's Olga, the East German massage therapist who works here at the hotel who hired you. She's been pretty angry over the fact that I was putting the moves on Ms. Bushburn, my admin assistant and she did say she would get me AND my little dog. I didn't think she would stoop this low but there's no one else it could be.I told your hired gun that I would pay him more to take care of her but he referred me back to you.

So I make the same offer to you. I will pay you $20,000 to have your boys 'fix' Olga's wagon for good. I would do it myself if I thought I could last two seconds with her.Your team is already here in place and Olga is easy to find. Just look for an Anna Kournikova look-alike, except six inches shorter and 200 pounds heavier.

Please consider this and let me know.

Lewd
Kevin Krob
look here mr man my boys called me and told me about it before i receive your mail you must know that you dont have to play any funny games with me bacause i will have to attack you but i now know that you are very serious about it if you really know that you are very ready to afford that amount so that my boys can take them to hell and meet with the devil you are to make the payment and tell me when you will want them dead so that i boys can do a very nice job for you, you are to make the payment and send down the informations as soon as i receive your payment my boys will attack. Note that you are to be very fast about this so that my boys can come back to me because they have another job to carry out. I will accept your offer all i want to see again is your payment details, that all i have to say now.
Lewd Noogie
Mr. Krob,

I'm starting to feel a little easier about all of this, now that you and I are partners and you are beginning to sound more reasonable. You and I might even end up as friends over this. I see two ways we can do this - either your boys can take care of Olga now or they can go do their other job and circle back for Olga later. Which way works best for you guys?

You're probably wondering how I got myself into this mess, right? Well, I guess you deserve to know. Olga and I had kind of a 'thing' for awhile but I couldn't afford her eating habit. This chick can eat like a horse, she likes expensive restaurants and I was running out of cash to feed her. I started cooling things down a bit right about the time I hired Maya, my admin assistant. Now this babe is smokin' hot, kinda looks like Carmen Electra. Anyhow, Olga saw me putting the old Noogie moves on Maya and ran off very upset. The part that Olga missed was where Maya slapped me and told me never to touch her again. A few days later I tried kissing up to Olga to reconcile but she pulled a knife on me, told me that if I ever got within 5 feet of her she'd neuter me and said me my days were numbered. I figure that's about the time she called you guys.

Anyhow, let me know how you want to handle this.

Lewd
Kevin Krob
hello i have told my boys all about what you said and they are waiting to hear from you as soon as you make the payment the deal will be down if you know you can not make the payment with the information that i gave to you because you once told me that western union is too far from you than you are here by advice to make the said payment into this account. as soon as you make the payment scan and send down the information to me so that my boys can carry out the job well.
PAYMENT DETAILS.

ACCOUNT HOLDER:MR O. EMAKPOR
NAME OF BANK:HALIFAX PLC
SORT CODE:110001
ACCOUNT NUMBER: 02606988
IBAN:GB70HLFX11000102606988
BIC:HLFXGB21F08
Lewd Noogie
Kevin,

I hope you don't mind if I use your first name and you can feel free to call me Lewd. Thanks so very much for the account information, it will make it so much easier to pay for your work once the job is finished.

Let me ask you somethng. If I wanted to have BOTH Olga and my admin assistant bumped off, would it cost me more? Do you have any two-for-one specials going on these days? The reason I ask is that Maya has started carrying a knife, too. Big sucker, looks like something Jim Bowie would use to kill bears, and she smiles at me and runs her finger along the blade every time I walk into her office. I'm starting to think that maybe she and Olga both were behind hiring you guys.

After you have taken care of the two of them, I can deposit the $2,000 I have now and I think I can come up with the rest in a couple of months. I'll be sure and scan the information and send it to you once I make the deposit.

Lewd
Kevin Krob
sound very nice from you i have told you before that my boys has never make any mistake in doing this job and i will like to inform you that my boys will have to finish all about it before they can come back to me so that they can continue with other assighment here all you have to do now is for you to make the payment first thing tomorrow morning as soon as i recieve the payment details my boys will attack and get the job done so that they can come back to me as soon as possible i will also like to ask you if you will want me to give you my phone number so that you can call me, you are advice to be very fast about it so that my bouys can live your country very fast. i am online now i will want us to chart if you are really interested.
Lewd Noogie
Kevin,

It would be great to chat with you but my computer's not set up for it. Send me your phone number, though. I'll try to call you.

Lewd
Kevin Krob
i can see you really want this job carry out very fast but you have to note that i dont do my job on credit all you have to do before my boys can carry out the job is that you have to pay a deposit into my account to enable my boys to carry out the job after my boys finish it yoiu will complete the balance of it i am also sending you my number so that you can call me Tel: (+447045748011)
Lewd Noogie
Kevin,

I tried your number 3 times but no luck. As your boys have no doubt told you, we're in a very remote area here and the phone system is satellite feed. Some days you can't get calls in or out. I'll bet you've had problems talking to your boys here, right?

Listen, Kevin, you don't expect me to pay you for taking care of Maya and Olga before the job is finished, do you? I mean, what if your boys screw up the job? Homes, I am ready to pay once the two of them are out of the way, but I want to be sure they're taken care of properly before I shell out the money.

By the way, please tell your boys to make sure that I'm not around when they do their thing. I don't know how good of marksmen your boys are but I don't want to end up as collateral damage, or taken down by friendly fire.

How soon can they get this done?
Lewd
Kevin Krob
Subject: DONT FALSE ME TO DO STUPID THING TO YOU

look here i think this is geting too long as you must know i am only doing this because of my favorite and trusted men williams that why i am listing to you now as you must know some one has already paid me to kill you and the person paid a lot amount of money for me to carry out this if you know that you cant help the deposit before my boys can carry out the job i have no option than to tell my boys to attack you and come back to me so that they can enback on another assighment if you dont comply i will have to call my boys to attack you down, As you must know my boys will do all that you have said but if they are coming to your office they will call you so that you can leave before they

can carry it out so you are better coperate or you loose your life, the person that ask us to kill you is still waiting to hear your death announcement i dont think you will want to die now so be warned and act very fast, i dont want to receive any other mail from you accept payment information, Once again be warned.
Lewd Noogie
Listen, Kevin, I'm not falsing you to do anything. I have tried to be reasonable and cooperative with you and this is the thanks I get. If this is going to be your attitude then the deal is off. Tell your boys I don't need them here anymore and send them off on their other job.

And don't expect any more work from me in the future.
Lewd
Kevin Krob
listen to me if you dont want my boys again i dont have no option than to go ahead and kill you, i know that if i do this with you, you will have another deal for me but you see i dont do my job on credit if you pay deposit my boys will do the job after that you will have to pay the balance.
OK
Lewd Noogie
Kevin, my friend, will you please stop all this crap about killing me. This is starting to piss me off. Listen, I hired you to do a job and now all I get is whining about not being paid. Look, if they do the job today, the $1,000 I promised is in your account tomorrow. We're only talking a very short time here.

I need results soon. Olga and Maya spend all their time in the office together, talking in low voices and nodding towards me. I think they are getting ready to take matters into their own hands. Either you do this job now or you're fired and I'll find someone else.

Don't push me too far.
Lewd
Kevin Krob
Subject: ACT VERY FAST IN THIS

look here i can understand you too but i will love to tell you that you have a lot of enemies some one just call me yesterday and gave me your name again he said that you are treating to kill her that i should kill you that she will be paying me the sum of $500,000 if i can do the job that she will be paying me the deposit into my account today look here i am not joking about this if you really know that you want both of us to do business together i will always protect you and your family if only you can co-operate i am just telling you this because i know i can trust you and do business with you so i will want you to act very fast in this
Lewd Noogie
Yes, I'm not surprised to hear that there's another woman out there who wants me dead. I've left a trail of broken hearts all across Eastern Europe and sometimes they don't handle it well. Sometimes I get carried away and turn the old Noogie charm on too strong. Devestates 'em when I sneak out of town.

But back to the business at hand. Your boys could finish this thing tonight and I don't understand why this is taking so long. Don't worry, you'll get your money.
Let's get this show on the road.

Lewd

[At this point I receive the original letter from William White again.]

William White
<williamwhite_west2007@yahoo.com>
Subject: BE MORE CAREFUL

What ever you call your fucking self.

I am very sorry for you Xxxxxx, is a pity that this is how your life is going to end as soon as you don't comply. As you can see there is no need of introducing myself to you because I don't have any business with you, my duty as I am mailing you now is just to KILL you......etc., etc.
Lewd Noogie
Dude, why are you sending me this AGAIN? Listen, I'm working with your BOSS now and me & him are tight. You keep this crap up and I'll tell him to put out a hit on your ass.

Now fulk off. Kevin will tell you when we need you.
Kevin Krob
i have told you before that i dont do my job on credit if you know you are ready you are to make the payment of $5,000 into that account before my boys can attack
Lewd Noogie
Kevin, you can be so frustrating sometimes. Look, the time is ripe NOW. Quit worrying about the money, fer chrissakes. You'll get your money. Look, your boys are probably rusty from sitting around for so long. Taking care of Maya and Olga would be good practice for them. Hell, I should be charging YOU for this opportunity.

I can't stress too strongly how important it is for you to move on this. I think Maya put something strange in my coffee this morning. I have hired you to protect me from these two madwomen and you're not doing a very good job so far.

And one other thing - your man William sent me an email today that was the same as the very first email he sent me, saying he was hired to kill me. I already know all of that, will you tell him just to sit quietly for awhile. He should be trying to find Olga and Maya instead of harassing me.

Lewd
Kevin Krob
have see that you are a very trusted and faithful man i will also like to inform you that my boys is always with you but you can not see them i will do the job for you but only on one condition send me the details of those people that you want dead send me the below details and your wish will be carry out

1..... Their photogragh
2.....Telephone number.
3......Email id

and any other importand details that you will think it will help my boys to carry out the mission i dont want my boys to attack them in the hotel act very fast in this.
Lewd Noogie
Kevin, my man, now you're talkin'. I'm sure that these two are getting ready to make a move on me so you and your boys need to act quickly.

Ok, let's talk about Maya first. I don't understand why you need her email address but it's maya_bushburn@yahoo.com. Her phone number is the same as mine here at the hotel, 7-495-964-8597. Again, I don't know why you need her phone number - I don't want you to talk to her, I want you to get rid of her. I only have one picture of Maya, which I have attached. Don't be fooled by that innocent, angelic face. Underneath is a spider.

Olga's number is also here at the hotel. She doesn't use email, says she's still waiting for this internet thing to catch on. I don't have a picture of her but I told you before - she looks like Anna Kournikova's twin except shorter and, uh, stockier. Trust me, you can't miss her. I hope one of your boys brought a buffalo gun.

Take 'em down, dog.
Lewd

[Maya looks strikingly like Carmen Electra]

Kevin Krob
Subject: ARE YOU MAD?

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU ARE YOU MAD DO YOU WHO THAT LADY IS THAT IS MR LEO DAUGHTER IN LAW ONE OF MY BOY HERE I WA VERY SHOCK WHEN I SAW THE PAIC DO YOU THAT IS THE PERSON THAT ASK US TO KILL YOU IF YOU KNOW WHAT IS GOOD FOR YOU JUST KINDLY STEP DOWN NOW BECAUSE IF I HEAR ANY THING HAPPEN TO HER YOU WILL HAVE YOUR SELF TO BLAME IF YOU ARE REALLY READY TO DO DEAL WITH US YOU CAN AS WELL GIVE US ANIOTHER ONE, I WILL ALSO LIKE TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU HAVE NOT PAY US THE $5,000 THAT YOU TOLD US TO PAY SO THAT WE CAN SPARE YOUR LIFE I AM VERY ANGRY FOR YOU NOW IF I DONT RECIVE YOUR PAYMENT FIRST THING TOMMOROW I WILL ASK MY boys TO KILL YOU, THAT IS ALL I HAVE TO SAY IF YOU LOVE YOUR LIFE COMPLY.
Lewd Noogie
This is fulking ponderous.

Kevin, who in the hell is Mr. Leo?? Are you telling me that Maya is the daughter-in-law of someone you know?? You mean to tell me you're NOT going to finish her off?

Weeping Jesus on the cross.

Kevin, this broad wants to KILL me. I hired you to protect ME, NOT HER. What am I supposed to do now?

Lewd
Kevin Krob
Subject: IF YOU WANT THIS JOB DONE YOU ARE ADVICE TO DEPOSIT THE SUM OF $8,000

come down look here in this job there is no permenet friend or enemy i will help you out on only one condition if you can really accept it i promise my boys will take her down, but if i do this for you you will have to pay me the sum of $500,000 so that i can carry out the job for you but before that you will have to make a deposit of $8,000 into my account so that i can tell my boys to do the job for you but you must know that mr leo must know that we carry out that kind of operation if you have accept with that you are advice to make the payment and send down the information so that i can do what ever you want for you but you are also advice to stay out of her now dont act as if you know any thing about this so that no one will think of any thing, so if you really accept this get back to me as soon as possible so that my boys can carry out the operation very fast they are taking too long in your country

Get back to me as soon as you recieve this mail so that i can know what to do
Lewd Noogie
Kevin,

Are you out of your freakin' mind? Where would I get $500,000 to pay for ANYTHING? Let's be reasonable here. Let me have your best-and-final offer to do this job for me.

Lewd

[Now it begins to get complicated as the lads decide to play both ends against the middle...]

William White
(to Maya Bushburn)

Subject: BE MORE CAREFUL

what ever you call your self

I am very sorry for you Xxxxxx, is a pity that this is how your life is going to end as soon as you don't comply. As you can see there is no need of introducing myself to you because I don't have any business with you, my duty as I am mailing you now is just to KILL you .....etc., etc.
Maya Bushburn
(to William White)

Who are you? What is this about?

William White
(to Maya Bushburn)
Subject: DEATH AWAIT YOU IF DONT COMPLY.

I HAVE NEVER BEEN SO SERIOUS IN MY LIFE LIKE THE I KNOW THAT YOU LIE ASKING TOO MUCH QUSTIONS BUT I WILL HAVE TO SOUND THIS IN YOUR EARS THAT IF SOME ONE PAY ME MONEY TO KILL MY BELOVED MOTHER I WILL DO IT BUT ALL THESAME IF YOUR REALLY LOVE TO KNOW ALL ABOUT IT YOU HAVE TO CONTACT MY BOSS MR KEVIN AND KNOW MORE ABOUT IT . SO BE WARNED.

MY BOSS EMAIL.kevinkrob309@yahoo.com
Maya Bushburn
Whoever you are - why should I be afraid of you? You don't even know where I am.
Kevin Krob
(to Lewd)
look here i can undersatand that you dont have that kind of money now but you see i have promise to do any thing for you as soon as you give me and my boys job to do. As you must know two people have already other me to kill you but i have see that i can do business with you that is why i have not tell my boys to attack you also note that my boys have been in your country for the operation for the past two weeks now the last thing i can do for you now is that as soon as you recieve this mail i will want you to reply me and tell me how much you can pay us for this job to be done and i will also tell you that you have to pay the deposit first or esle i dont know what will happen to you if you dont comply time is runnung out because my boys have never spend this long time in any of their operation but i can see that you dont want this to be done once and for all i will also lie to tell you that my boys went to maya house yesterday and they have been following her any where she goes i really belief that if you have pay this money my boys will have done the job and you will be happy now, i will also like to tell you that my boys have find out all details about her and i was told by my boys tht she will be traveling to see one of her friend next week i will want my boys to attack her before than that is all i will want to tell you if you are really ready reply me.
Lewd Noogie
Kevin, Dude, I had a feeling this was going to happen. Your boys are following the WRONG WOMAN! Maya doesn't live in a house, she has an aprtment here at the hotel. And she hasn't said anything to me about taking time off from work next week to go visit a friend. This is all wrong.

Look, why don't you set up a meeting between me and your boys so I can SHOW them who Maya is. I have no clue who they've been following and apparently they don't either. And what about Olga? She's the dangerous one here! You need to do something about her, and fast.

Tell you what, I'll give you $500 to get rid of both of them if you'll do it tomorrow. They are going to go hiking in the forest behind the hotel tomorrow afternoon. It's the perfect setup, your boys can use the trees as cover to get close to to them. Just tell your boys to be careful because there are sasquatch in the forest.

Let me know if they can get the job done tomorrow..

Lewd
Kevin Krob
(to Lewd)
Subject: DEATH AWAIT YOU

look here i am not some one that you think you can play with and get away with it if you know that you cant pay me before i can tell my boys to do this job for you it ok than i will have to do my job that i have been paid for you know what i mean you have to die first, secondly you know that i told you before that the picture you send to me was mr leo daughter inlaw and if he get to find out you are dead let me tell you if i dont recieve your payment first thing tommorow moring mr leo will hear about this and i will ask my boys to kill you and you will visit the devil in hell good bye so be warnd
William White

[William sends Maya the photo provided to him by Lewd... in which she bears an uncanny resemblance to Carmen Electra]

(to Maya)

Subject: PRIVATE

DEATH AWAIT YOU IF YOU DONT COMPLY ATTACH IS YOUR PICTURE
IT REALLY SOUND NICE IF YOU THINK I DONT KNOW YOU I AM WRITING YOU FOR THE LAST TIME IF I DONT GET POSITIVE ANSWER FROM YOU I DONT HAVE MUCH TO SAY THEN YOU WILL JOIN THE DEVIL IN HELL ATTACH IS YOUR PICTURE IF YOU THINK I DONT KNOW YOU. SO BE WARNED
Maya Bushburn
(to William White)
Where did you get that picture?? Who gave it to you?? This is a horrible picture. I wasn't wearing makeup and I hate the outfit I'm wearing, at least whoever gave it to you could have given you one where I was dressed better. This is humiliating.

Where are you??
Lewd Noogie
(to Kevin Krob)
You know, things were going pretty good between you and I and then you have to start up this crap about killing me again. Can't we all just.................... get along?

Ok, I've got $250 - if I send that to your account is it enough to get you started? How about you take care of Olga first and then I'll send more for you handle Maya.

Work with me here.

Lewd
Kevin Krob
(to Lewd)
look here i have had enough from you if you know that you can not pay the sum of $5000 into my account so that i can tell my boys to start the job you can as well forget it and i will tell my boys to attack you than i dont want to receive any story from you any more or else you i will not find it funny with you.
William White
(to Maya)
Subject: LAST CHANCE

look here you bastard i can see you like asking too much questions but let me tell you this will be the last mail that i will be sending to you if i dont recive a possitive answer from you in the next coming mail consider your fucking seif a dead meat so be warned.
Maya Bushburn
(to William White)
I don't know what you expect from me in response to a death threat but you're making me very nervous. Who is asking you to do this? What is it I'm supposed to do? I can't believe any of this.
Lewd Noogie (to Kevin Krob)
Kevin, I'm trying to cooperate with you. I've done everything you've asked me to do so far, haven't I? And what have you done for me? I hire you to take care of these two women and yet here they are, still walking around and breathing and making threatening gestures towards me. Well, at least Olga is. Maya seems a bit subdued the past couple of days. But anyhow, you keep demanding money for work you haven't done. WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO DO YOUR PART, KEVIN? WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO RID ME OF THESE TWO WOMEN?
Kevin Krob
(to Lewd)
IF YOU PAY ME THE DEPOSIT
Lewd Noogie (to Kevin Krob)
You keep taking this in circles, and here we are, right back at square one.

Ok, here's my final offer. We have settled on a price of $250 for you to get rid of both of them, right? I'm not arguing over the money because $250 is reasonable. What I want you to do is to take care of Olga first. Once you do, I'll deposit the entire $250 in your account and THEN you take care of Maya. This is very reasonable. You get rid of one, I pay you for both, then you get rid of the other one.

Fair enough?
William White
(to Maya)
Subject: DEATH AWAIT YOU IF YOU DONT COMPLY WITH THIS MAIL

look here you bastard as i have told you before i dont have time to answer your stupid question i have all it take to take your fucking life if you dont comply i can come into your apartment in the hotel where you live and take your life as you must know you went to the hiking in the forest behind the hotel on saturday afternoon.and i was there but you did not see me if i really want to take your life i whould just do that but i desided to give you one last chance to live again but if you have choosen to be stupid i will help you to destroy your life for you i am sending you name that you will use to make the payment of $8,000 as soon as you recieve this mail you are to make the payment via western union and send down the payment details and the scan copy of the payment slip if i dont get this before the next 48hours oh my God you will deffinately find your self in hell so be warned.

BELOW ARE THE INFORMATION.

RECEIVER NAME:KEVIN KROB

ADDRESS: UNITED KINGDOM

Fill in the form below with the details of payment as you see in the form
Senders name:----------------------------------

Address: ...........................................................

Amount sent:...............................................

MTCN number: ....................................................

endeavour to scan and send the transfer slip.
Maya Bushburn
(to William White)
How do you know these things? If this is a joke I am not laughing. You are making me very upset with your email and I don't want you to write to me anymore.
Kevin Krob
(to Lewd)
i have told my boys to deal witn you tonite
Lewd Noogie (to Kevin Krob)
Kevin,

Good idea. I think it's better if your boys deal directly with me. I can show them where Olga and Maya hang out and the best places to set up their ambush. I can also go ahead and pay them the money (if you trust them with money, that is).

What time and where should I meet them?

Lewd
William White
(to Maya)
i know every thing about you if you really know that i am joking too you will see your self in hell soon
Maya Bushburn
(to William White)
Just tell me this - did my jerkoff boss put you up to this? Is he the one who hired you?
Kevin Krob
(to Lewd)
Subject: DONT PLAY WITH HELL OR ELSE YOU WILL VISIT IT SOON

LISTEN TO ME YOU BASTARD I THINK YOU DONT UNDERSTAND WHAT I MEAN IF YOU REALLY KNOW THAT YOU CAN NOT PAY ME $5,000 AS DEPOSIT SO THAT MY boys CAN START THE JOB I WILL HAVE NO OPTION THAN TO SEND MY boys TO kill YOU DONT PLAY WITH HELL OR ELSE YOU WILL VISIT IT SOON
Lewd Noogie (to Kevin Krob)
Alright, alright, keep your shirt on. I'll deposit the money first. But I want your solemn word of honor as the gentleman you are that you will rid me of these two she-demons as soon as you get it.

Do we have a deal?

Lewd
William White
(to Maya)
Subject: LAST WARNING BEFORE YOU DIE

I HAVE TOLD YOU BEFORE THAT I DONT HAVE TIME FOR ALL THIS IF YOU DONT MAKE THE PAYMENT YOU WILL SEE YOUR FUCKING SELF IN HELL I NEED A POSITIVE REPLY OR YOU DIE SO BE WARNED. ALSO NOTE THAT YOU WILL GET TO KNOW WHO SEND ME WHEN YOU GET THE TAPE
Maya Bushburn
(to William White)
Obviously you or someone you know is here in Gadyukina to be able to know so much about me. Why are you doing this to me? I don't have the entire $8,000 that you are demanding but I will try to borrow the rest from the East German massage therapist who works here in the hotel.

The problem is that there is no Western Union office here in Gadyukina. The nearest one is nearly 8 hours away by car in a city called Irkutsk and I have no way to get there. I don't know what to do.
Kevin Krob
(to Lewd)
Subject: YOUR WISH WILL BE DONE AS SOON AS I GET THE MONEY INTO MY ACCOUNT.

I HAVE NEVER MADE ANY MISTAKE IN THIS JOB AS SOON AS I GET THE MONEY INTO MY ACCOUNT THAT TWO DEVILS WILL BE A HISTROY SO YOU DONT HAVE TO BE AFRAID OF ANY THING, YOU ARE ALSO ADVICE TO SEND DOWN THE SCAN COPY OF THE PAYMENT SLIP AS SOON AS YOU MAKE THE PYAMENT I WILL WAIT FOR THE PAYMENT

[I dummied up a pretty reasonable-looking payment slip, all in Russian except for his account information]

Lewd Noogie (to Kevin Krob)
Kevin,

Ok, as agreed I have deposited US$5,000 in the account you gave me and the payment slip is attached. Now will you have your man William and his boys get off their dead asses and show me some results. These women are making my life a living hell and I'm beginning to think I should have just let your boys shoot me a long time ago. If you don't get this job done today I might just shoot myself.

Let' move on this, Kevin. I've given you your money, so now I want some action from you and these clowns that you hire.

They better not miss.
William White
(to Maya)
Subject: SEND THE MONEY INTO THIS ACCOUNT

look here what ever you call your self it very nice to know that i really know all about you that is what i was paid to do but now i know that you are ready to comply with me becasue you really want to live i will give you this last chance because i know you can not travel to make the payment via western union office i am sending this account information you are to transfer the money into this account i will go to the bank and check if you have send the money into this account first thing tommorow morning if i dont recieve the payment i will not find it funny with you so be warned

PAYMENT DETAILS.

ACCOUNT HOLDER:MR O. EMAKPOR
NAME OF BANK:HALIFAX PLC
SORT CODE:110001
ACCOUNT NUMBER: 02606988
IBAN:GB70HLFX11000102606988
BIC:HLFXGB21F08
Maya Bushburn
(to William White)
Thank you very much for the account number but I won't be needing it after all. You see, I talked to Olga, the East German massage therapist here at the hotel about all of this and she told me to pass a message to you. Her message is as follows:

Fulk You.

She also said if she ever sees you or any of your boys around Gadyukina she'll make you wish you were never born.

Sorry about all of this and I hope your boys have enjoyed Gadyukina but if I were you I'd tell them to start booking a flight home. You do NOT want to mess with Olga.
Thanks again,

Maya

[Kevin stalls for time, waiting for the money transfer to go through...]

Kevin Krob
(to Lewd)
Subject: I NEED THIS INFORMATION VERY FAST

Hello what ever you call your self i saw your payment yesterday and i am writing in respect of it my boys will take action as soon as possible but before that i really need some details from you before my boys take action, my boys was at the hotel yesterday and they discover some thing from the the East German massage therapist, you are to give me all the details that i want about her so that my boys can also kill her to i am also writing you to inform you that as soon as i get the information i will make sure that my boys attack them down also note that as soon as the job is done you are to pay me the balance of the payment.
Lewd Noogie (to Kevin Krob)
Kevin,

I woke up this morning with a smile on my lips and a song in my heart, satisfied that I would never again have to lay eyes on Olga and Maya. I assumed that your boys had taken care of the situation last night, now that you've been paid. You can imagine my surprise when I walked into my office and found BOTH OF THEM STILL ALIVE.

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?? ARE THOSE DIMWITS THAT YOU HIRE GOING TO DO THIS THING OR NOT?? WHAT'S THIS HORSE PUCKEY ABOUT YOU NEEDING MORE INFORMATION?? THEY'RE BOTH RIGHT HERE IN THE HOTEL!!

LOOK, YOU GOT YOUR MONEY. I WANT THIS JOB DONE AND I WANT IT DONE NOW! YOU'RE REALLY PISSING ME OFF KEVIN.

DO IT NOW.
William White
(to Maya)
Subject: DEATH AWAIT YOU VERY SOON.

THANKS FOR THE ADVICE BUT ONE MORE THING YOU ARE DEEGING YOUR GRAVE AND I WILL MAKE SURE THAT I BURIEL YOU IN IT I WILL HAVE TO INFORM MY boys TO GUN YOU AND THAT GERMAN LADY THAT TOLD YOU TO INSALT ME SO BE WARNED
Maya Bushburn
(to William White)
I spoke with Olga, the East German massage therapist who insalted you, about your email. A smile broke out on her cherubic face and she said very softly and gently that if any of your boys came around me or her she would stick his gun up his ass. Oh, and she said the same thing goes for you.

I would really suggest that you don't mess with Olga. I've seen her upset before and it is not a pretty sight. If you have any feelings at all toward your boys' safety, I recommend that you tell them to be on the next dogsled out of here.

I feel so much better with Olga watching out for me.

She also asked me to tell you, 'fulk you very much'.
Lewd Noogie (to Kevin Krob)
Kevin,

I'm going to try one last time to try and spur you to action. These two women are up to no good. A few minutes ago I walked outside to get some fresh air and as I walked out the back door of the hotel a large tile fell from the roof and came within inches of crushing my skull. I couldn't see anyone but I'm sure I heard giggling coming from above me. If you and your boys don't make your move now I might not be alive by tonight.

If I don't see some results in the next two hours I will call the bank and stop the wire transfer of the $5,000 to your nominated account. I might be dead tomorrow but at least I'll still have my money.

NOW DO WHAT I HIRED YOU TO DO
Kevin Krob
(to Lewd)
look here what ever you call your self i have told my boys to attack but all i need is the information of that german lady because my boys went to the as promise yesterday and they heard the lady talking about us if you give me the information i promise you that they wil be history so be very fast about it as for the money that you paid into my account dont you ever talk about it because i knwo that your job will be done soon
Lewd Noogie (to Kevin Krob)
Kevin,

How are you today, my friend? I hope this finds you well and happy because I have good news.

And I have bad news.

The good news is that Olga, Maya and I have made up. Yes, it turns out that our situation was really over nothing. Olga was upset and sulking over my refusal to allow her to celebrate Hitler's birthday with a hotel lawn party. Last night I gave in and told her she could go ahead with it as long as she doesn't let it get too rowdy and that she and the guests all promise to leave Poland alone after it's over. I know, you're saying to yourself, "All of this over a lawn party?", but that's what it was all about. Silly, no?

The bad news is that I stopped the wire transfer of the $5,000 to your nominated account. Since we don't need you anymore you can go ahead and send your boys off to their next assignment. You might want to expedite that move because Olga says she's looking for yours and their ugly asses. I don't know which one of her buttons you pushed but I wouldn't want to be in your shoes if she finds you.

It's been great working with you, my friend. If I ever decide that I need someone snuffed, you've got first dibs on the job. I feel kinda bad that I never had a chance to meet any of your boys and buy them a beer but if you're ever in this area yourself, by all means look me up.

Ciao.

Your pal,
Lewd

[No response from Kevin. One last try...]

Lewd Noogie (to Kevin Krob)
Kevin,

One final thing - Olga asked me to pass on another message to you but I'm afraid this one is not so pleasant. She said, "Tell der schweinhund mugu (that's you) that if he EVER shows his ugly face around here I'll rip it off. Das a**hole (that's you, again) should stop writing these silly letters and go look for a job. There's nothing I would like more than to get my dainty hands on that stupid prick (I guess by now we know who she's talking about) and push his ears together." I myself wouldn't have put it in quite those terms but Olga is nothing if not blunt.

She's quite a lady, ain't she? Sieg heil, Olga!

Oh, and she also said fulk you.

Lewd
Kevin Krob
(to Lewd)
Subject: DONT DO ANY THING STUPID OR YOU WILL JOIN THE DEVIL IN HELL

look here you bastard you dont have any reason to do that as you must know the cash has not reflected into my account i need the money so that i can tell my boys to attack, dont let me send my boys to attack you if i dont recieve that money i will personally come to kill you my self you know very well that some one has already paid me to do so before and i have been protecting you ever since but i can see that you really want to die, you have to note that not i dont want to carry out my job that you have paid me for the matter is just that i want to recieve the money before i can do so but if you really love your fucking life dont do that or else i will not find it funny with you, i have also inform my boys about the email that you send to me stating that you want to stop the transfer because they have not carry out their job. if you dear try it i will nail you to the war so be warned dont play with hell, As for your victim we shall do what you have paid us for just be cam my boys will do that as soon i get the money into my account dont try any thing stupid.
Lewd Noogie
Kevin, my old friend, so good to hear from you again.

It's painfully obvious that you're not the brightest guy I've ever met but in your line of work you probably don't need to be. Since I really like you, I'll go to the trouble of spelling this out for you. We don't need you anymore.

Olga, Maya and I were discussing your latest email over lunch and Olga commented on what a dumb-ass you are. I have never seen her so happy as when I told her that you were gonna come here and do the job yourself. She said she'd really love to meet you, and then mumbled something about making your skull suitable for use as an ashtray.

I'm really sorry about stopping the money transfer but since it looks like Olga and I might be getting back together again I'm gonna need that $5,000 to keep her fed next week. But like I told you before, if I ever do need to have somebody killed, you're my main man for the job.
Ok, Kevin, nice talking with you again and stay in touch. Oh, and Olga has another message for me to pass on to you if you're still anxious to come here and take care of the situation yourself. She said,

"Come get some".

Lewd
Kevin Krob(to Lewd)
Subject: LAST WARNING BEFORE YOUR DEATH

well, well well i will like to say congratulations for that i went to the bank today to claim the money and the bank manager told me that you have stop the transfer and i was very upset about it i am wrting you to inform you that my boys will carry their job on you now and secondly i will have no option than to write the lady and inform you that you paid me to kill her as well, if i dont recieve the payment of span class="wu">$5,000 into my account in the next 48hours consider your fucking self a dead meat and i will also kill your entire family too so dont play with fire because it burns.

Also note that the lady number and her email address is with me i will tell my boys to go to the hotel and tell her every thing that she need to know about what you have been planing and i will also farward all the mail that you have send to me to her so that she will see all the plans that you have for her.

Before i stop i will also like you to remember that some one has already paid for your death to be announce and i will have to tell you that if i dont recieve any mail from you before the next 24hours you will be dead so dont play with me or else you will regreat hate your self.
Lewd Noogie
(to Kevin Krob)
Kevin,

Have you not been reading my emails to you? I told you, dog, nobody here wants to kill anybody anymore. We're all back to one big happy family.

Olga, impatient person that she is, decided to go looking for your boys. Gadyukina is a pretty small place and she went through the entire village trying to find them, with no success. The only thing we can figure is that they're camping in the forest behind the hotel and, if that's true, they gotta be freezing their asses off. Dude, it is COLD here. Why don't you give your boys a break and send them to kill somebody in Tahiti or some other warm place. Or at least let them check into the hotel. I promise I won't let Olga hurt 'em.

Sorry about how things turned out but you're just not very good at your job. If I had let the money transfer go through you'd still be dicking around deciding how to go about getting the job done and maybe next summer I might have seen some results. Have you ever considered a different line of work? Something that doesn't take a lot of thinking would probably be best.

Ok, Kevin, gotta go. Olga said, "Tell that mugu I'm still lookiing to get my hands on him".

What a woman!

Lewd

[I haven't heard anything more from Kevin or William. I suspect the thought of Olga getting her hands of steel on them brought them and their boys to their senses.]


Analysis:
"Attack" count : 22
Mentions of death awaiting:
Occurrences of the F word: 11
Mentions of hell: 29
Mentions of the "boys": 46
$ extorted from Lewd, Olga and Maya: 0

Mark Johan
<fbi_investigationscriminalsfight@yahoo.co.uk>
from [64.214.231.140]

Subject: LETTERR FROM THE FBI OFFICE GET BACK TO US AS SOON AS POSSILE.

United Kingdom Attorney General John Luis has announced a comprehensive review of the Federal Bureau of Investigation, the FBI.
The agency has been under criticism most recently for failing to hand over all documents to the defence .

Hello Mr Lewd,

GREETINGS TO YOU FROM THE FBI OFFICE,
TOP OF THE DAY TO YOU,

in respect of our investigations we are writing you to inform you that two men were arrested yesterday in tailorise air line here in uk ans after our investigations we were told that they where coming from Russia and some one paid them to kill you and your entire family and they told us that they also have a boss named mr kevin we have send our men to arrest him unfurtunately he ascape, we will also like to know if you have recieve any mailor call from him so that we can use it as investigatin here in our office.

Furthermore, participation in the investigation is voluntary. The participants must consent to the collection and particular uses of the information, and they have an opportunity to attack mr kevin at any time.

[Huh?]

Based on the formations that we will get from you, the FBI Senior Privacy Official has determined that any privacy issues involved are diminished by the controls in place for this project which restrict access to personal information to a limited group of individuals for research purposes, provide the opportunity for participants to opt out of the information, and require execution by this information.

This is a voluntary database involving limited use and access; as such, the OMB E- Government Act guidance we require more information so that we can arrest mr kevin. Based on the foregoing, the FBI Senior Privacy Official has determined that the proper investigations will go on until mr kevin we be arrested and put to jar as soon as possible. get back to us as soon as possible so that we can go on in our investigations. Your Urgent Response Will Be Of A Good Help To Us In This Mail.

THANKS FOR YOUR UNDERSTANDING
MR MARK JOHAN

Lewd Noogie
Mr. Johan,

I am very, very pleased to receive your email. I have always been a big fan of the American FBI and consider you and your colleagues to be the world's premier police agency.
I have not heard anything from Kevin Krob for several days now and I assumed he pulled his hit team out of Gadyukina.

If there is anything I can do to assist your investigation, do not hesitate to contact me. I'm ready to help in any way that I can.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie
Kevin Krob
(to Lewd)
Subject: I AM COMIG TO GET YOU SOON

well, well wel, that really kind of you i can see that you have send the FBI to arrest my boys but i am promising you that you will not get a way with thsi i will have to come to your country and kill you my self, just being expecting me any thing i will also like to inform you that if you really know what is good for you just go and make the payment into my account or else you will find your self in hell i promise you this and i must do it so dont play with be or else you will regreat your fucking life.
Lewd Noogie
(to Kevin Krob)
Kevin, old boy, so good to hear from you.

Yeah, I got some bad news yesterday. The Feds busted a couple of your boys and they're looking for your ugly ass as we speak. If I were you I think I'd lay low for awhile, these guys don't fool around. They even sent me a picture of one of your boys that they had trussed up like a Christmas turkey.

On the other hand, if you still insist on coming, you'd make Olga, the East German massage therapist, the happiest woman on the planet. Every time your name gets mentioned she gets this wierd little smile on her face and then punches a hole in one of the walls. I've got a drywall crew working around the clock repairing the damage. She really, REALLY wants to meet you in person.

Kevin, take some advice - you need to get into a different line of work. Every one of your 3 targets, me included, is still walking around. That tells me you ain't much of a hitman. And your boys are laughable. I can't imagine what they were doing the entire time they were here except for freezing their butts off.

Well, I gotta get back to work. I'm taking Olga to the blini restaurant tonight and I've got stuff I have to finish first.

Oh, by the way, I'll be sending your latest email to the FBI tonight.

Talk to you later.
Lewd
Mark Johan
Subject: GREETINGS FROM THE FBI OFFICE

Department of Justice/Federal Bureau of Investigation
FEDERAL BUREAU OF INVESTIGATION
PRIVACY IMPACT ASSESSMENT
COMPUTER AIDED FACIAL RECOGNITION PROJECT
February 15, 2008

Hello Mr Lewis D. Noogie,

Greetings to you once again from the FBI Office

We are very delited to receive a quick response from you and we must say we are gradually working according to our investigation here in our office and we are also promising you that very soon Mr Kevin Krob will be arrested and charge to court for threat, We will also like to tell you know that we will like you to send us your tele phone number so that we can call you and discuse it with you, Please if you recieve any mail from Mr Kevin dont hesitate to contact us.

Our Mission is to protect and defend the United Kingdom against terrorist and foreign intelligence threats, to uphold and enforce the criminal laws of the United Kingdom , and to provide leadership and criminal justice services to the public, state, municipal, and international agencies and partners.

[That may come as a surprise to MI-5, MI-6 and all those MIs...]

Our Priority is to execute the following priorities, we will produce and use intelligence to protect the nation from threats and to bring to justice those who violate the law.
Our mission is to help protect you, your communities, and your businesses from the most dangerous threats facing our nationÑfrom international and domestic terrorists to spies on U.S. soilÉfrom cyber villains to corrupt government officialsÉfrom mobsters to violent gangsÉfrom child predators to serial killers. Learn more here about our work with law enforcement and intelligence partners across the country and around the globe.
The very heart of FBI operations lies in our investigationsÑwhich serve, as our mission states, "to protect and defend the United Kingdom against terrorist and foreign intelligence threats and to enforce the criminal laws of the United Kingdom Our Priorities." We currently have jurisdiction over violations of more than 200 categories of federal law, and you can find the major ones below, grouped within our three national security priorities and our five criminal priorities. Also visit our Intelligence program site, which underpins and informs all our investigative programs.

THANKS ONCE AGAIN.
YOUR REGARDS MR JOHAN.
Lewd Noogie
Mr. Johan,

I just received an email from the verminous Kevin Krob. He seems quite upset that you have captured some of his boys and he is threatening to come here to Gadyukina personally to kill me. I'm not too concerned over his threats because there is a certain East German massage therapist here at the hotel that is desperate to get within grabbing distance of Mr. Kolb. For his own safety, I hope that you find him before she does.

However, he is someone who needs to be brought to justice. We can't be having hired killers running around willy-nilly threatening to kill innocent people.

As I stated before, if there is anything at all that I can do to expedite your investigation, please let me know.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. "Lewd" Noogie
Mark Johan
Subject: GET BACK TO US AS SOON AS POSSIBLE

TELE +447045761096

Top Of The Day To You.

In respect of your mail we will like to say thanks for the response to our mail and we will also like to inform you we are working very hard to arrest Mr Kevin, all you have to do for us now is that we will like to tell you to send us the mail that Mr kevin wrote to you today so that we can use it on our investigations and we will also like to inform you that Mr williams has been charge to court, and he will go to jar soon.

Once Again Thanks For Complying With The FBI.
Lewd Noogie
Mr. Johan,

Below please find the text of Mr. Kevin's last email to me.

<message text>

As you can judge by his email, he's not very bright and should be easy to catch. I just hope you can catch him and haul his ass off to jar as quickly as possible. While Olga, the East German massage therapist, would very much like to make him the entree at her upcoming lawn party, I'm afraid that my admin assistant, Ms. Bushburn, greatly fears Mr. Kevin. I caught her today trying to wire US$8,000 to him to make him go away and it was all I could do to stop her. She lives in constant fear of his arrival despite what reassurances Olga and I try to give her.

Please redouble your efforts to catch this scoundrel. I can't watch Ms. Bushburn every minute of the day and if she sends him money he may make an attempt to disappear. Please throw all available resources to catching him.

Please don't hesitate to let me know if I can be of any further assistance in capturing this reptile.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie
Kevin Krob
(to Lewd)
Subject: YOU DONT WHAT LIVING

IT REALLY NICE TO KNOW THAT THE FBI IS LOOKING FOR ME BECAUSE OF YOU AND MY PICTURE IS EVERY WHERE THAT IS VERY NICE OF YOU BUT I WILL HAVE TO SOUND THIS IN YOUR EARS THAT I WILL KILL YOU BEFORE THEY CAN GET ME AND I WILL ALSO MAKE SURE THAT I WILL DO THIS VERY FAST BECAUSE I KNOW THAT THE FBI IS LOOKING FOR ME. SO IF YOU LOVE YOUR LIFE JUST MAKE THE PAYMENT SO THAT YOU CAN FREE FROM DEATH, AS YOU MUST KNOW THE FBI HAVE ARRESTED MY BOYS AND I KNOW THAT YOU ARE THE ONE THAT ASK THEM TO DO THAT SO IF I DONT RECIEVE YOUR PAYMENT GET READY FOR YOUR BURIEL SOON BE WARNED DONT PLAY WITH DEATH
Mark Johan

[Wtf? Is he stoned? Did a scambaiter get into his inbox?]

Subject: GREETINGS TO YOU FROM THE FBI OFFICE

Hello Mr Lewis,

Ask top officials at the Federal Bureau of Investigation what most worries the nation's premier law-enforcement agency, and they are likely to admit that the public enemies these days include not only drugs, corruption and organized crime, but also threats in the country, how every your reply has also help us in our investigations here in our office and we are really appreciative about your kind afford in this matter.

Ask top officials at the Federal Bureau of Investigation what most worries the nation's premier law-enforcement agency, and they are likely to admit that the public enemies these days include not only drugs, corruption and organized crime, and threats.

Few issues have proved more vexing for mr William the bureau's director. In recent months, his aides say, he has grown more concerned about the rising chorus from civil rights leaders accusing the bureau of singling out black officials for investigation, harassment and prosecution. As a result, law-enforcement officials say, Mr. williams will be charge to court as soon as possible, including face-to-face meetings with his critics. The steps are intended to dispel what the bureau acknowledges to be a serious problem, but one more thing before all this can come to pass you will have to reply mr kevin asking him to give you an account that you want to pay after that get back to us so that we can tell you what to do next.

Among the most outspoken critics is Benjamin L. Hooks, the executive director of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. ''It is not enough to mouth pious platitudes about law and order if laws apply only to the black and the poor,'' he said. ''We insist that black leaders be treated like all others when they stand before the bar of justice.''

Complaints have also come from black members of Congress. Representative that Mr williams also killed a man called John bills Last Month In Spain Judiciary Committee, has said he plans to hold Mr kevin will be very easy if you comply with the FBI black officials. Representative Mervyn M. Dymally, a California Democrat, has called for the formation of an organization to raise money and also said that if you can help us to catch Mr kevin you will be awarded with the sum of ($700,000) The concern over harassment charges appeared to intensify at the F.B.I. after the criticism of its actions in the case of Mayor Marion S. Barry Jr. of Washington. Law-enforcement officials who had said their case was solid were stung when the jury fine Mr. Kevin only of a single misdemeanor and could not reach a verdict on 12 other counts, including 3 felonies.

Some officials said the jurors rejected the bureau's method of arrest, in which a former lover of mr kevin lives in UK too and we have send a men to get her , where he was videotaped smoking crack. Such tactics backfired, the officials said, because they reinforced the perception that the Government would resort to anything, even entrapment, in its obsession to prosecute Mr. kevin.

ONCE AGAIN THANKS FOR YOUR RESPONSE.

YOURS REGARDS

[Again, huh?]

Lewd Noogie
Mr. Johan,

I'm not sure that I understood everything I read here. Are you telling me that Mr. Kevin is an associate of the mayor of Washington DC?? Wow, this reaches higher up than I thought. But why would the mayor of Washington DC want to have me killed?? Ive never met him, nor have I ever been to Washington DC. This is incredible.

This is more serious than I could have imagined, and I'm not sure what to do now. I don't like the idea of people in the US government being after me because they have ways of getting you before you realize you've been got. There's probably one of those tank-killer predator drones out there buzzing around over the hotel now.

Mr. Johan, I need your advice and I need it quickly.

Lewd
Mark Johan
Subject: WHY DO YOU HAVE TO GO THIS FAR

Hello Mr Lewis,

Top of the day to you,

Our office recieved your mail and the content was well noted,we are writing to in form you that we have been trying all possible best to arrest Mr Kevin and we will also like to tell you that you can make it very easy for us when you work with us, Due to our investigations yesterday Mr williams told us that you also paid them some money to get one mrs Olga killed on the 6th Day of febuary 2008 that you made a payment of $5,000 into Mr kevin account,

Listen mr Lewis i will want to know all about this because i have not told any one about this because i dont want you to go to jar if you fail to comply with us i am sorry to tell you that you we surelly be arrested and charge to court with mr williams so all i want you to do now is that just tell me all i need to know so that you can be free.

Note that mr williams also gave us a proove of all this by showing me the photogragh of mrs olga that you send to them and my colleaque mr Billy said we should tell the head of this office about this so that you can also get to jar too but i dont want this to happen to you bacause i know that you where false to do all this all i want now is a quick response from you because this case will deffinately go to court soon and if you dont act very fast about this i am sorry to tell you that you may end up with this criminals in jar so act very fast about all this. Your response of this mail will be a great help to you in this matter.

Thanks For You Response.

Yours Regards Mr Mark Johan.
FBI Office.
Lewd Noogie
Mr. Johan,

Mr. Williams is speaking entirely out of context. While it is true that I paid Mr. Kevin $5,000, it was purely in self-defense. I was certain that it was Olga and Ms. Bushburn who had hired Mr. Kevin and I was merely trying to turn the tables on them. Once Olga, Maya and I put our differences aside and became friends again, I stopped the transfer of the $5,000 to Mr. Kevin. I see no reason why I should be punished by being thrown in jar with Mr. Williams.
Right now I am more concerned with the involvement of the mayor of Washington DC in this matter. I need your advice on what I should do.

Sincerely,
Lewd
Lewd Noogie
Mr. Johan,

I was hoping to have heard back from you by now. I am becoming quite concerned over what you have told me and I look to you for guidance on this matter. My assistant, Ms. Bushburn, is living in constant fear that Mr. Kevin is going to show up here in Gadyukina to kill her, or worse. I anxiously await your instructions.

Sincerely,
Lewd
Mark Johan
Subject: I DONT WANT YOU TO GO TO JAIL WITH THEM

Hello Mr Lewd,

Top Of The Day To You,

In respect of your mail i will like to inform you that we are still doing every thing possible to make sure that we arrest Mr Kevin and we also got a mail yesterday from him and the content was noted he was saying that he will make sure that he kills you and your entire family before we can get him after that we had a meeting and we have decided that this case will be charge to court on the 5th Day of March 2008, I am also writing you to inform you this if you know that you will not be involved in this case you have to act very fast because Mr willaims told us that you paid Mr kevin to kill one mrs olga the sum of ($5,000).

So due to our investigations we found out that you really did it, i dont know what will happen to you next because you may go to jail too with this criminals. The only thing i will like to tell you know is that if you really know that you are ready to comply with this i will make sure that you dont go to jail with this criminals.

Lastely i will also like to inform you that the files that contains all this evidence about you is still with me and i really want to hear from you that why i have not summit it to the criminals Department because if i do you will also be arrested and charge to court as one of the criminal because you are also guity.

That all i have to say about this case i am sorry to say that if i dont receive a positive response from you before the next 48hours i am sorry i have no option than to summit the files to the Criminal Department and you will also be arrested i am sure you really knows what that means?

Good Luck As You Read This and your urgent response tio this mail will be a great help to you in this matter.

Last of all you know that i told you before that my partner also know all about this because he was there when Mr williams says all that and my partner also said the only way he can help you in this case so that you will not go to jail, if you can pay him the sum of ($10,000) You will be a free man but if you cant i am sorry to inform you that you will face the case with the criminals and i am sure that you really know what this means? so you are to choose your choice in this matter, that all i have to say.

Hope to Hear From You Soon

Best Regards

Mr Mark Johan,

Department Of The FBi
Lewd Noogie
Mr. Johan,

I don't understand this at all. Why would your partner want to send me, an innocent man, to jail? I explained that the only reason I paid Mr. Kevin to kill Olga and Maya was because I thought they were trying to kill me. What a mess this has become.

If I pay your partner the $10,000 he is asking for, can you and he guarantee that you will catch Mr. Kevin? $10,000 is a lot of money but I want this over with. I want to go back to my peaceful life I had before all of this began.

If I decide to pay, what is your partner's name and how do I get the money to him?

Lewd
Mark Johan
Subject: GOOD LUCK TO YOU

HELLO MR Lewd,

GREETINGS TO YOU FROM FBI OFFIC

I will like to inform you that your mail was received and the content was well noted.

I have heard all that you have said and i have also talk to my partner about it that you have agree to make the payment so that you can be free about all this but i am still promising you that Mr Kevin must be arrest as soon as posible but i want you to make sure that you make the payment very fast so that my partner will not want me to send the files contaning the investigations to the Department of Criminals office because if i do that means you will also be charge to court with this criminal and you will also go to jail with them and i dont want this to happen to you because i know that it not your fault that why i dont want it to happen to you so i have talk to him about all this and he have given me the account details for you to make the payment into it so that you will be free. Scan and send the transfer slip as soon as you make the payment into this account for verification.

ACCOUNT INFORMATIONS.
MR.R E OTOMEWO
LLYODS TSB BANK.
SORT CODE 771901
ACC-44793368
BIC LOYDGB21P35
IBAN GB93LOYD 7719 0144 7933 68.
FLAT 6,70 GAREFORTH STREET,CHADDERTON,OLDHAM.
UNITED KINGDOM.

Best Regards

Mr Mark Johan,

Department Of The FBi
Lewd Noogie
Mr. Johan,

The bank is not open today and Monday is a national holiday here in Russia (Defenders Day) so I will make the transfer on Tuesday and send the payment slip to you.

Lewd
Lewd Noogie
(to Kevin Krob)
Kevin,

I am saddened by the state of affairs between us. From our correspondence I know you as an honorable man and only trying to do the job that you were paid to do. I am sorry for everything that has gone before.

At this time, the FBI is looking for you and I am being shaken down by two of their agents. I have come up with an idea that could solve both our problems.
I want you to 'take care of' two FBI agents.

Tell me what your price would be to do this. If you agree, I will send you what information I have on them so you can set up an ambush.

Will you take the job?

Lewd
Lewd Noogie

[Damn! The email to Kevin bounced, looks like he's been shut down. That means the only one who is in contact with him is....Agent Johan. The trick now is to have him pass a message to Kevin without understanding what the message is about...]

Lewd Noogie
(to Agent Johan)
Mr. Johan,

Uh, I kinda need you to do a big favor for me. You said you were in touch with Mr. Kevin and I need to get a message to him right away. Please ask him, "ill-Way uo-yay ill-kay ese-thay wo-tay FBI erkoffs-jay or-fay e-may? I'll ay-pay ou-yay $8,000 if ou-yay o-day, ok?"

Thanks for delivering this for me, Mr. Johan. I knew you was church people.

Lewd
Mark Johan
Subject: DO YOU WANT TO GO TO JAIL?

Hello Mr Lewis,

Greeting to you from the FBI.

Our office receive your mail and the content was well noted.

I will also like to inform you that it seems you think i am joking with all this, I receive your mail yesterday that you will make the payment today and i have told my partner about it, as you must know this case is fast approaching and i receive a call from the Department of Criminals this morning they where asking me of the files i am very sure that you know what that means if i have to summit this files i am sorry to say that you will surely be arrested and charge to court with Mr williams and Mr Kevin but if you dont want this to happen you, you have to make this payment so that you can be free about all this and live a free life again.

Lastely before i finish i will also like to inform you that i have not told my partner the kind of mail you send to me today because if i do he will surelly want this files to be summit because i have told him that you have accepted to make the payment today because you told me that yesterday was a pulic holiday in your country. so i advice you to be very fast about this so that my partner will not get angry with you.

You are to make the payment as soon as you receive this mail and send down the payment slip as soon as the payment is made.

YOUR REGARDS
MR MARK JOHAN.
FROM FBI OFFICE.
Kevin Krob

[[Kevin is back, and from the same email address. I spoke too soon about his being shut down...]

<kevinkrob309@yahoo.com>
[213.185.118.234] <-- INTELSAT-CUST-VIENNA-TECHNOLOGIES-NG (NIGERIA)
[They provide an abuse contact, which is unusual and refreshing.]

Subject: GET READY FOR WAR.

Well Well Well my dear friend i can see that you have done everything posible to make sure that i will be arrested but you see i will not fail to have you killed soon, I will also like to tell you this i will kill you and your entire family because my boys was arrested becuause of you, I know all that is happening to them now and i also know that my boys will be charge to court next month all this is happening because of you i promise you will die for this, let me tell you this and it is a promise i will coming to visit you next week with another men i and i will have to kill you my self i will make sure you dont ascape this time is a promise and i will do it after that i will have to hand over my self to the police. Because i know that they are looking for me and my photogragh is every where and i know that you are the cause of it and i will not let you get away with it so get ready for me and my new boys .
Lewd Noogie
(to Kevin Krob)
Kevin, I don't want a WAR with you and, believe me, you don't want a WAR with me. Did you forget about Olga, the East German massage therapist here at the hotel? Well, she hasn't forgotten about YOU. When I told her you have new boys, her response was, "Fresh meat." I'm telling you, Kevin, she is serious about getting her hands on you. She said she's gonna use your liver for a pate and and your doobies as a kabob at her lawn party .

I wrote you the other day but the email came back undelivered. I have the perfect solution for both of us. Look, the FBI is hunting for you and they're trying to shake me down. The obvious solution is for me to hire you to kill these two FBI agents. They won't be looking for you anymore and I won't have to pay them to not arrest me.

What do you say? Will you do the job? There's $8,000 in it for you and your boys.

Let me know.
Lewd
Kevin Krob
Subject: CHOOSE BETWEEN LIFE AND DEATH.

well well well,

I CAN SEE THAT OLD FRIENDS HAVE COME TO MEET AGAIN AS YOU MUST KNOW THA POLICE IS REALLY LOOKING FOR ME AND I KNOW IT BECAUSE OF WHAT YOU TOLD THEM THAT WHY THEY ARE TRYING TO GET ME MY boys ARE REALLY SURFERING ALL BECAUSE OF YOU, BUT I PROMISE YOU ONE THING MY DEAR FRIEND THAT I WILL MAKE SURE THAT I DEAL BECAUSE YOU ARE THE COST OF MY PROBLEM, I WILL ALSO LIKE TO INFORM YOU THAT MY NEW boys JUST ARRIVE YESTERNITE AND I MUST TELL YOU THAT THEY ARE VERY STRONG AND YOU MUST NOT ASCAPE FROM THIS TIME I AM REALLY SURE ABOUT IT, AND FOR THE East German massage therapist I WILL TAKE CARE OF THAT.

ALSO GET THIS INTO YOUR HEAD THAT ME AND MY boys WILL BE COMING TO VISIT YOU NEXT WEEK AND I AM VERY SURE THAT YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS? BECAUSE I WILL MAKE SURE THAT I kill YOU MY SELF BEFORE I CAN HAND OVER MY SELF TO THE FBI AND JOIN THE REST OF MY boys IN JAIL. LASTELY I WILL ALSO LIKE TO INFORM YOU THAT YOU HAVE MADE A BIG MISTAKE BY STOPING THAT payment YOU MADE AND THAT IS WHY MY boys WAS ARRESTED AND I HAVE PROMISE THAT I WILL NOT LET YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY HAVE REST UNTIL I FINISH WITH YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY I WILL NOT REST ONCE AGAIN WAIT FOR WAR.

ALL THIS IS A REALLY PROMISE AND I KNOW THAT THIS NEW MEN THAT I HAVE TRAINED WILL NEVER MAKE ANY MISTAKE BECAUSE THEY ARE BEEN TRAINED WELL.

BUT AFTER ALL THIS I STILL HAVE A SECOND THOUGHT ABOUT ALL THAT YOU HAVE SAID AND I HAVE TALK TO MY NEW boys ABOUT IT AND THEY ARE ASKING ME TO GIVE YOU A SECOND CHANCE ABOUT ALL THIS BUT IF YOU TRY ANY THING FUNNY YOU WILL ALSO JOIN THE DEVIL IN HELL, IF YOU REALLY KNOW THAT YOU CAN AFFORD THE ($8,000) AT A MOMENT GET BACK TO ME SO THAT I CAN GIVE YOU THE ACCOUNT INFORMATIONS ON HOW TO MAKE THE payment.

I HAVE ASK ONE OF MY boys TO FIND OUT THE HOUSE OF ONE OF THE FBI AGENT AND HE HAS DONE THAT AND I MUST TELL YOU THIS THAT I NOW KNOW WHERE HE LIVES AND I ALSO KNOW WHERE HIS WIFE WORKS AND HIS KIDS TOO SO IF YOU KNOW THAT YOU WANT ME TO kill HIM AND HIS FAMILY I STRONGLY KNOW THAT THIS NEW boys OF MINE CAN DO THAT WITHOUT ANY BODY KNOWING ABOUT IT AND I WILL MAKE SURE THAT ALL THSI WILL BE DONE ONCE AND FOE ALL.
SO YOU ARE ADVICE TO GET BACK AT ME AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS MAIL SO THAT I CAN GIVE YOU THE PAYMKENT DETAILS.
Lewd Noogie
(to Kevin Krob)
Kevin,

You have made a wise decision, my friend. This will solve both our problem very neatly; neither one of us will go to jail and you won't have to go mano-a-mano with Olga. It's good to be riding together again.

You have to be sure to get BOTH of those agents. If you miss either one of them then you and I are both hosed. I should warn you - FBI agents are very well-trained. Are you sure your new boys are up to handling them?

Send me the payment details and let's get this thing done.

Lewd
Kevin Krob
Subject: ACCOUNT DETAILS

well well well, It really nice to hear that we have met again as real friends i know that bith of us wlll remain as long as you give me a job like this i have told my boys to go and founmd out where does agent lives and i am telling you now that they have found out every thing about them, But i will tell you this this new boys that i have trained they dont have human feelings because i know that my previous boys are very weak why i am telling you this is beacuse you dont have to play with me this time beacuse i will not have it funny with you beacuse of the thing you done to me the last time as you must know both of us in danger now if we dont get this agent down now i hope you know what will happen to the both of us and i really sure you dont want it to happen?

I have told my boys to carry out some operations today and the operation was sucessful and i know you will really want to know what kind of operation is that i told my boys to kidnapp one of his son in school today and they have done that very well his son his with me now and i will deffinately kill the father as soon as posible that we not make us to go jail i really know that you dont want to go to jail to so you have to assist me so that the both of us will be free forever.

BELOW ARE THE ACCOUNT DETAILS

mr Ameachi udoye
Bank name:HALIFAX PLC
ACCOUNT NUMBER:00424555
Sortcode: 11-01-52
IBAN:GB55HLFX1101 5200424555.
BIC:HLFXGB21E02.
Lewd Noogie
(to Mark Johan)
Ok, Copper, now it's MY turn.

I have put out a contract with Mr. Kevin on YOUR ugly ass! His new, highly trained boys are already in place and just waiting for my word to make their move on you and your partner. So, how does it feel when the tables are turned, hairball? Getting nervous?

The only way out of this is for you and your butt-ugly partner is to destroy my file with the FBI and YOU pay ME $10,000. How do you like them apples? Don't fool around or play games with me if you want to avoid becoming 'metabolically-challenged'. Kevin's boys are good - they won't even be able to find your fingerprints when his boys get done with you.
Make payment immediately to the following account:

mr Ameachi udoye
Bank name:HALIFAX PLC
ACCOUNT NUMBER:00424555
Sortcode: 11-01-52
IBAN:GB55HLFX1101 5200424555.
BIC:HLFXGB21E02.


I expect to receive that payment slip from you no later than tomorrow. If I don't it's Hasta La Vista, baby.

Your Worst Nightmare,
Lewd

ps - I would strongly suggest that you don't stand too close to any windows and if you notice any little red laser dots on the walls I would recommend staying close to the floor.
Lewd Noogie
(to Kevin Krob)
Kevin,

I am so clever sometimes that I amaze myself. I have devised the perfect crime:

I told Agent Johan that I hired you to kill him and his partner. I said that if they want to live they have to deposit $10,000 in the account you sent me and send me the payment slip. Once we have the money, you take your $8,000 and send me $2,000. Then you go ahead and have your boys kill 'em anyhow. Neither one of us has to go to jail and we both come out of this with money in our pockets. Hell, even the FBI comes out ahead by us disposing of two corrupt agents. This is gonna make a lot of people very happy.

It's a brilliant plan! My criminal intellect obviously ranks with that of a Professor Moriarty, or even a Lex Luthor and it makes me feel warm and tingly all over. Oh, and Kevin, don't go killing any wives or kids. Let's not get carried away with this.

Ok, Kevin, the money should hit your account any time now. Let me know when it does and I'll tell you how to get my share to me.

Lewd
Kevin Krob
Subject: YOU CAN FOOL ME TWICE WAIT FOR WAR.

LOOK HERE MR MAN I CAN SEE THAT YOU REALLY WANT TO PLAY SOME STUPID GAMES WITH ME BUT I AM PROMISING YOU THIS THAT YOU WILL NOT GET AWAY THIS TIME I HAVE SEND YOU THE ACCOUNT DETAILS AND YOU ARE STILL SAYING STUPID THINGS ASYOU MUST KNOW I HAVE killED THE SON OF THAT AGENT THAT MY boys KIDNNAPED YESTERDAY AND I KNOW THAT BY NOW THEY ARE SERIOUSLY LOOKING FOR ME I HEARD IT IN THE CNN THIS MORING AND I KNOW THAT I WILL JOIN MY MEN IN JAIL SOON BECAUSE I ALSO HEARD THAT THEY WILL BE CHARGING THE CASE TO COURT SOON, LET ME ALSO INFORM YOU THIS ME AND MY NEW boys WILL BE VISITING YOU BY MONDAY NEXT WEEK I KNOW THAT YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS I WILL MAKE SURE THAT I kill YOU AND HAND MY SELF TO THE POLICE BECAUSE YOU ARE THE ONE THAT PUT ME AND MY boys INTO THIS PROBLEM AND YOU WILL SURELY DIE FOR THIS. AS FOR OLGA AND THE GERMAN LADY THAT YOU ALWAYS TALK ABOUT THEY WILL JOIN YOU TOO IN HELL THIS IS A PROMISE I AM VERY SURE THAT YOU WILL NOT ASCAPE THIS. SO WAIT FOR WAR.
Lewd Noogie
(to Kevin Krob)
Jeez, Kevin, you are such a twit. You killed that kid? Way to go, Kevin, nice one. Now you'll probably have every police agency between here and Gambia looking for you. You are such a moron. How did you get to be the head guy in your organization?

Alright, I'll try and smooth things over with Agent Johan. I don't imagine he's too pleased about all of this. I'll get back with you later.

Lewd
Mark Johan
Subject: WHY HAVE YOU CHOOSE TO DO THIS TO ME?

hello mr Lewis,

How are you are your family? i am writing you to tell you a big thanks for destroying my family and i will also inform you that you will not get away from this you must surely be arrested and go to jail asyou must know my only son is dead i receive a letter from some group of people and they told me that my son was missing and if i dont release mr williams they will kill my beloved son and i refused and i only received the body of my 9years old child today deadand i know you have planed with mr kevin to do all this to me. I will make good sure that you go to jail for this and i will make sure that you will also paid for doing this to me becausei want to help you.
Lewd Noogie
(to Mark Johan)
Mr. Johan,

Yeah, I heard about it from Kevin. What a fiasco, huh? Listen, I gotta apologize for him. We both know he ain't too bright but he's all I've got at the moment. He get's carried away sometimes and I have to get him off the caffein.

Let's just let bygones be bygones, shall we? Go ahead and send Kevin the $10,000 and we can all go back to doing whatever it was we were doing before this all started. I know Kevin feels bad about what he did and I'll try to get him to tell you he's sorry.

Are we good now?

Lewd
Lewd Noogie
(to Kevin Krob)
Kevin,

I hope you've had a chance to think about what you've done. Kevin, my dim friend, you just can't go around killing people's kids - it pisses them off. I got an email from agent Johan and I can tell you, he's not only upset with you but me as well.

And if I were you I wouldn't even consider coming her to Gadyukina. I told Olga about all of this and she's been in a rage ever since. In fact, she's asking for two weeks time off so she can come looking for YOU. Do you understand the seriousness of the situation you have put yourself in?

Ok, I told Johan to go ahead and send you the $10,000 so we can get this thing put to bed. DO NOT go killing anymore relatives, understand? In fact, don't do anything unless you clear it with me first.

I'll let you know if anything develops.

Lewd
Lewd Noogie
(to Kevin Krob)
I almost forgot - send a note to agent Johan and tell him you're sorry for killing his kid. Try to do that today, will you?

Lewd
Kevin Krob
Subject: GET READY FOR WAR.

HEY YOU,

I CAN SEE THAT YOU REALLY THINK I AM JOKING WHEN I TOLD YOU THAT I AM BACK FOR WAR THAT IS JUST A TIP OF IT AND MAY BE YOURS WILL BE NEXT IF I DONT RECEIVE THE payment IN MY ACCOUNT I WILL MAKE SURE THAT IT WILL SURELY GET TO YOUR TURN AND I WILL EXTENT THIS TO YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY AND AS FOR OLGA I WILL DEAL WITH HER TOO BECAUSE I HAVE PROMISE THAT I WILL NOT SPARE ANY OF YOU THIS TIME BECAUSE MY MEN IS SUFERING IN THAT JAIL AND I KNOW THEY WILL SOON BE CHARGE TO COURT I HAVE PROMISE TO DEAL WITH ALL OF YOU BEFORE THAT DAY.

I DONT WANT TO SPARE ANY OF YOU THIS TIME IF YOU DONT COMPLY WITH ME.I CAN REALLY SEE THAT YOU WANT TO DIE SO YOU HAVE TO FACE IT THIS TIME. IF YOU DONT WANT IT KINDLY GET BACK TO ME SO THAT I CAN GIVE YOU ANOTHER ACCOUNT INFORMATION SO THAT YOU CAN MAKE THE payment OF $10,000. BUT IF YOU FAIL TO I WILL MAKE SURE THAT ME AND MY NEW boys WILL ENBACK ON OUR DEAR TRIP TO YOUR COUNTRY FIRST THING MONDAY MORNING AND YOU WILL SEE US FACE TO FACE, AND I AM ASURING YOU THAT YOU CAN NOT ESCAPE THIS TIME SO GET READY FOR WAR........

THANKS GOOD FRIEND AND YOU WILL JOIN THE DEVIL IN HELL SOON.....
Lewd Noogie
(to Kevin Krob)
Ok, ok, I'll get the money to you. What's the new account number?
Lewd
Kevin Krob
Subject: ONE MORE MISTAKE YOU ARE DEAD

Look here Mr Lewis,

Let this sound into your ears and if i find any mistake i will make sure that i will deal with you as i have done to the son of the FBI and i promise yours will be a painful one so dont joke with me or else you will face death as well, i have a meeting with my new boys and told them all that you have said that you have accepted to pay the sum of $10,000 and they have ask me to give you this last chance by sending you a new account details but if you fail this time you know that i have told you before that me and my boys will be coming to you by monday but if i dont receive the payment details in my desk in your next coming mail i will make sure we take the first flight to your country and i will make sure that i finish your entire family before i kill you, so dont joke with me or else you will face death as for mrs olga also tell her that she will see my new boys too because i will make sure she also feel this too because she have also play with me and i will make sure that she will pay dearly with her life which is not imortant to her so tell her all that i have told you, as for you this will also be your last chance if i dont receive your payment i will be very very sorry for you because i will make sure i kill you my self so dont play with me.

ONCE AGAIN THIS IS THE LAST CHANCE THAT I AM GIVING YOU IF YOU PLAY WITH IF YOU WILL FACE DEATH SO BE WARNED. YOU ARE TO SCAN THE payment SLIP AS SOON AS YOU MAKE THE payment.....

BELOW ARE THE ACCOUNT DETAILS.

ACCOUNT NAME:S.OMEBEN
ACCOUNT NUMBER:19908668
SORT CODE:309542
IBAN NUMBER:GB17L0YD30954219908668.
BANK NAME:LLOYDS TSB.
ADDRESS: KING STREET MANCHESTER.


YOU ARE ALSO ADVICE TO SCAN AMD SEND DOWN THE payment SLIP AS SOON AS YOU MAKE THE payment SO ACT VERY FAST IF YOU REALLY LOVE TO LIVE
Lewd Noogie
(to Mark Johan)
Mr. Johan,

Sorry to bother you on a weekend but Kevin has called for a change in the play. You have to send the $10,000 to the following account:

ACCOUNT NAME:S.OMEBEN
ACCOUNT NUMBER:19908668
SORT CODE:309542
IBAN NUMBER:GB17L0YD30954219908668.
BANK NAME:LLOYDS TSB.
ADDRESS: KING STREET MANCHESTER.


After you make the deposit be sure to scan and send me the payment slip so I can call Kevin and his boys off.

If I was you I would try to get this done today. Kevin is threatening to kill you and your partner, burn your house, carry off your women and sow your land with salt. Dude, he's in one of his moods and now is not a good time to irritate him.

Let's try and get this over with today, ok? By the way, Kevin says he's sorry about the kid. He feels real bad about that and promises it won't happen again.

Lewd
Lewd Noogie
(to Kevin Krob)
Ok, Kevin, the money is on the way. I'll send the payment slip as soon as I receive it. Don't forget, $2,000 of this money is mine and as soon as it's in your account I'll tell you how to get it to me.

Once you have the money you can have your boys take care of the two FBI agents and we're home free. And please, Kevin, no more massacres - just do the agents and leave their relatives alone. Remember, mass murder is out, a precise, clean kill is in. Kinda irks me that I have to explain this to someone who is supposed to be a professional in the field.

I'll let you know if I hear anything else.

Lewd
Kevin Krob
Subject: YOUR TIME IS UP MR MAN

well well well,

Mr Man i can see that you are really playing with me but as you must remember you know i told you before that if you play with me again i will not have any option than to come over my self to kill you and your entite family now i know that you really want to see me, and i will have to tell you that this is the time i will be living the Uk to your destination country first thing monday morning and i will also be coming with my boys i hope you will love to see me in person so wait for me i will also like to inform you to start writing your will so that you can give it to your next kins so that you will have to inform the person that you will be living this world soon

I have waiting for you enough and now i know that you are really playing with me i promise you one thing you will sure die a painful death.

Before i finish i will also like to inform you that my boys have also kidnnap the wife of those agent and i am very sure that i will be carrying out the killing too so that she can as well join her son in hell so after that it will surely be the turn of the FBI agent and i know that it will be the final one for me to carry out before i finally go to jail so that all i want to tell you if you really love your self and your entire family i want to receive the payment details on my desk monday morning you will face me and my boys so dont think it a joke.

Lewd Noogie
Kevin, what is wrong with you? Have you stopped taking your medication?

Look, the money is coming. Give the guy a chance to deposit it, will you? And turn his old lady loose. I'm warning you, if you kill agent Johan's wife he will come completely unlaminated on both of us.

Just relax and give me a day or two to sort this out.

Lewd

ps - Word up, dog, Olga's gone and she left a note saying she was on her way to the UK to look for you. Better lay low for a while..
Lewd Noogie

(to Mark Johan)

Agent Johan,

Seems like everytime I write to you lately it's to apologize for some assinine thing that Kevin has gone and done. Believe me, I'm getting as tired of this crap as you are.

Kevin says he's got your wife. Do me a favor, check around the house and see if she's there. If she isn't, we may have a small problem on our hands.

Like I have said before, the fastest way to get all this over with is to send the $10,000 to the last account I gave you. Work with me here, Agent Johan. You pay the money and I promise you that Kevin will drop Mrs. Johan off at your house in more or less pristine condition. But please pay - I hate to think of what might happen if you don't comply. You know how Kevin gets sometimes.

Do this tomorrow, send me the payslip, and we all go on our merry way. Oh, and please don't forget to destroy the file you have on me. We don't want any loose end, do we?

Lewd
Kevin Krob
well well well.

I can see that you really think i am joking, i have carryed out another one i hope you will want to know what i mean by that i have killed the wife of that agent this morning and i have send her dead body to her husband so that he will know that i am not joking if i dont receive the $10,000 into my account first thing tomorrow morning i will make sure that it will deffinately get to you and i will make sure that i will start by cuting your legs before i kill you finally so dont joke with me or else you will die a painful death. As for olga i will surelly wait for her too and i have promise i will deal with her in my own way, i will make sure a deal with all of you one after the other

Once again if i dont receive the scan copy of the payment details first thing tommorow morning you will face me and my boys.
Lewd Noogie

(to Kevin Krob)

Kevin, what did I just tell you about killing family members? Are you even reading my emails to you?? Dude, you are gonna get us both in big trouble if you don't cut this sh*t out.

You have really made a mess of this entire thing. I'm pretty sure that agent Johan has lost any kind of interest in paying us now that you've wiped out his entire family. You and your boys just take a couple days off and let me try to straighten this out again.

Lewd
Mark Johan
Subject: THANK YOU FOR DESTROYING MY FAMILY...

hello Mr

Top of the day to you,

I will really say thinks for destroying my entire family but i will have to inform you that you and Mr kevin will not get away with all this. I have a news for you and i know that this will deffinately get you to jail soon.I find the body of my beloved wife today dead in my house and i was very shock after that i saw a letter on her dead body and it was written from Mr kevin that if i dont release his boys that i will be the next victim, what do you think that i still want to live this life for when i have lost my only son and my beloved wife in just One week how do you think that i will be happy again.
Lastely i will also inform you that i will summit the file first thing tomorrow morning so that your case will be carry out and as well you will go to jail for all this things that you have done to me and my entire family i will make sure i fight until i see you and mr kevin arrested and put to jail.

Some of our agent will be visiting you this week and i am very sure you know what that means you will be arrested and brought to Uk for some qwuestioning and i fully beleive that you are one of mr kevin partner because every thing i told you mr kevin listed it in the letter he send to me. Once again thanks for destroying my entire family.

And God Bless You Too.
Lewd Noogie

(to Mark Johan)

Mr. Johan,

Kevin told me about your wife.

My bad.

Here I am again for the second time in three days, asking you to try to forgive Kevin's latest shenanigans. I know you're probably not in a very good mood right now but it's at times like this when we need to try to look on the bright side - now you can start looking for a brand new wife. If you ever make it here to Gadyukina I'd be glad to fix you up. Olga, the East German massage therapist here at the hotel has a younger sister named Oxnard. A real beauty, she's a tad stockier than Olga but she's big-boned so she carries it well. Say the word and she's yours.

I really need a couple of days to think this thing over and I'd really appreciate it if you'd hold off sending my file forward. I admit that Kevin has got things pretty well dicked up and I've asked him to put his boys back on their leashes and lay low for awhile.

I'll get back to you when I come up with something that we can all work with.

Lewd
Kevin Krob
Subject: YOUR DAYS AS A MAN ARE NUMBERED

look here Mr Man, i have told you before that me and my new boys have no mercy on any body i will make good sure that i finish all that i have promise my self before i go to jail and i am still promising you one thing it now your turn for me to deal with i will give you two days if i dont get the payment slip i will make sure that it will deffinately be your turn so dont think i am joking with you. that all i have to tell you now if you know what is good for you just comply or else you will face me and my new boys.
Lewd Noogie

(to Kevin Krob)

Kevin, I am really starting to get annoyed with you. We would have our money and this would all be over if you would just knock off the bloodbaths. Jeez, can't you put a cork in it for awhile? I like a man who's enthusiastic about his work but let's show a bit of discretion, shall we?

Give me a day to think about this. Don't worry, I'll come up with something that will satisfy all involved.

AND STOP killING EVERYBODY!

Lewd
Kevin Krob
look here mr man you know i warned you about all this and you think i am not serious now you know that i am not joking, i will give you some time to think about your death but dont take me for a fool again

As soon as you receive this mail you are to tell me when you will be making the payment into my account or else i will extend the killing to your entire family too.

Get back to me as soon as you receive this mail and tell me when you will be making the payment. ONCE AGAIN DONT PLAY WITH BURNING FIRE BECAUSE IF IT GET TO YOUR TURN YOURS WILL BE DIFFERENT.
Lewd Noogie

(to Kevin Krob)

Kevin, I fully understand that you are not joking, but you need to calm down and give me time to straighten out the mess you have made of this. I think agent Johan was ready to pay up until you started killing everybody. I warned you not to do that, didn't I?

I'll put a plan together tonight and I'll get back to you tomorrow. And fer chrissake don't kill anybody else until I tell you to.

Lewd
Mark Johan
Subject: THE FBI IS COMING SOON

hello Mr Lewd,

How are you doing? I am writing you to inform you that tomorrow is the deal day i will make sure that your file will be summit today so that you can face it too, i will also use this oppotunity to tell you a very big thank you for destroying my entire family and i will make sure that you will be arrested very soon and as for Mr Kevin i will also make sure that he will also be arrested and charge to court for all that he have done to me and my family.

That all i have to tell you, and i will also say you will see us soon in your country.have a nice day while waiting for us the FBI is coming soon.
Kevin Krob
Subject: YOUR GAMES IS OVER

CAN SEE THAT YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH ME BUT I WILL MAKE SURE YOU LOOSE YOUR LIFE FOR THIS, I WILL BE TAKING THE FIRST TRIP TO YOUR COUNTRY FIRST THING TOMORROW MIRNING MAKE SURE YOU WAIT FOR ME I WILL MAKE SURE THAT I kill YOU AND YOUR ENTIRE FAMILY YOU HAVE MAKE A FOOL OF ME ENOUGH SO GET READY FOR WAR.
Kevin Krob
Subject: IT HAS FINALLY HAPPEN.......

well Mr "Lewis it has finally happen but i warned you and you think i am lying to i know that you will surfer all this your self because i will not be there when the FBI get you and you will go to jail to.
It was on the papers today that my boys will be charge to court tomorrow and the FBI have also promise to take a trip to your country to arrest you for the offence that you commited with me. Look here Mr "Lewis. let me just tell you the plans that i have make with my boys if you are ready to comply with us i will make sure that the both of us will be free and nothing will happen to us with this plan.

I got an information that the FBI Agent will be taking the flight to your country and my boys have also told me the hotel that they will be lodging if only you are ready to do this so that you will not be arrested too, what i am trying to say is that you have to make the said payment of $10,0000 into that account that i gave to you so that i can kill the FBI Agent with that you will be free and if you know that you can pay this i will have no option than to let the FBI get you and you really know what that means you will go to jail and Mrs olga will know all that you have been hiding. Get back to me as soon as you receive this mail.
Lewd Noogie

(to Mark Johan)

Mr. Johan,

I keep thinking that there must be some way that you and I, as reasonable men, can settle this. I am becoming quite weary of all the threats and intimidations. Can you and I come to some sort of solution, especially one that involves the arrest of Kevin?

Please get back to me.

Lewd
Kevin Krob
Subject: SINCE YOU HAVE CHOOSEN TO die

Look here you bastard do you think im am joking with you if i dont receive a positive response from you before the next 24hours you will face the burning fire so be warned
Mark Johan
Subject: THE BALL IS NOW IN YOUR COURT...

Greetings to you fromthe FBI OFFICE

hello Mr Lewis,

It really nice to hear that from you again now you know that both of us can be very reasonable but you see it too late now because i have finally lost all my family in this case but since you have choosen to plan with Mr Kevin to destroy my entire family you have to face the case in court as you must know i told you that i will be sending your file case to the Department of Criminals In two days time and i have no option than to do that because my partner is not really happy about what you did to me and my entire family. If i really want to help you so that you will not go to jail with Mr Kevin all you have to pay for this is just a sum of ($20,0000) so that i can destroy the file that contains the evidence between you and Mr Kevin but if you fail this time i will not spare you i will make sure that you will face this case and also go to jail for it because i am all alone in this world with out a family so i have nothing to loose again you have made me to loose every thing in this world so if you fail i will summit the files first thing tomorrow morning.

The ball is now in your court if you play with it you will loose your life in jail.that all i have to tell you good luck as i await your response in this mail.
Lewd Noogie

(to Mark Johan)

Mr. Johan,

You are putting me in a difficult position. I think by now you know that everyone concerned is sorry about your wife and kid. It was all just a big mistake and it wasn't really my fault - I told Kevin not to go around killing people but by now you know how thick-skulled he is. I am an innocent man and there should not even be a file on me in your office.

I'm willing to work something out with you, financially speaking. The problem is that, even if I satisfy you, I've still got Kevin the Barbarian storming around out there and threatening to come here to Gadyukina to kill me, Maya, Olga and probably the rest of the village.

Most of all, I don't want you to to forward my file to the criminal department. Me having to spend the next 20 years in Shawshank is going to make it difficult maintaining my hotel consulting business. I'm willing to pay you the $20,000 in compensation for Kevin's little blunders, but you have to catch him first. When you can prove to me that his ass is safely behind bars, the $20,000 will be in your account the next day.

My plan is that I will arrange a meeting in London with Kevin to pay him off. I'll let you know the location of the meeting and when he arrives, you and your partner swoop in and grab him. And during the capture, if you or your partner's gun were to accidentally discharge and Kevin were to be shredded in an accidental fusilade, no harm done. You can always say your gun has a hair trigger and when you dropped it it went off 14 times.

I see this as the only fair solution. You take care of Kevin and I'll take care of you.

Deal?
Lewd Noogie

(to Kevin Krob)

Kevin,

Alright, I'm ready to play ball, but I want to pay you in person. I don't want any slip-ups - I just want to pay you your $10,000 and for you and your boys to go away and leave me and my friends alone.

I suggest we meet in London in two days time. You can pick the time and place and I will come alone with the money. We'll do this quietly and this will all be over.
I'll make arrangements to travel today.

Lewd
Kevin Krob
Subject: YOUR FUNERAL IS ARROUND THE CORNER.

well well well, I dont have time for those stupid things all i have to tell you is your fucking time is up i will also start arranging to travel to meet you in your country so that i can kill you and your entire famil as i have done to the FBI agent, i can see that you have plan with the FBI to arrest me that is why you want us to meet so that you can call them but see my friend this will not work i am giving you this last chance to get back to me if i dont receive a positive response from you before the next 24 hours i will make sure that you will end up as i have done to the FBI family.

Also get this into your head that i have already send one of my new men to your country and he arrived yesterday he his lodging in one of the hotels in Russia i was waiting to hear from you first that is why he has not come to visit you in your Hotel but if you think i am not serious about all this just play with me i will make sure that you face him i am very sure you know what that means you will face death.

This is your last chance now choose between life and death.
Lewd Noogie
Kevin, I have no idea what you are talking about. I have no plan with the FBI to arrest you, I just want to meet so I can pay you. My intentions are honorable, as pure as the driven snow before the soot hath smutched it.

So to speak.

Kevin, it's very important that we meet, not only for me to pay you but to give you information that I cannot send through email. You can pick the time and place and I will tell no one else. You have my word on this.

Lewd
Lewd Noogie

(to Mark Johan)

Mr. Johan,

I was hoping to have heard back from you about my plan to set up a meeting with Kevin. The more I think about it, the better I like it.

I've already told Kevin I'll meet him in London the day after tomorrow. I'll get him to suggest a place for us to meet and as soon as I find out I'll tell you where it is. You can have your men in place when he arrives, ready to blow him away. I mean, uh, take him into custody. I've asked him to come alone but he might bring along a few of his boys. We both know what a lying scoundrel he his so it would probably be a good idea if you bring along a few extra body bags; better safe than sorry.

After you've taken him out, let me know and the $20,000 is in your account the next day. I'll even have the pay slip to you the same day you burn him.

Trust me, I can understand what a bummer it is that he killed your entire family but this is a chance for you to even the score. He has been nothing but trouble for both of us and now's the time to rid ourselves of a major headache.

I'm ready to move on this if you are.

Lewd
Lewd Noogie

(to Kevin Krob)

Kevin,

Ms. Bushburn and I will be flying tomorrow from Irkutsk to Moscow and then to London. I will be checking my email frequently so let me know the time and place for you and I to meet. I look forward to buying you a beer and talking about old times. I'm also prepared to pay you the $10,000 we agreed upon.

See you soon.
Lewd
Mark Johan

Finally! The FBI takes Kevin down!

Subject: GOOD NEWS MY DEAR FRIEND

It is a great pleasure to write you this mail and i will really say today is the happiest day in my life and my partner, I am writing you in respect of Mr Kevin and his new men Mr kevin was arrested yester nite at luxury hotels in London, some one gave us an informations that he was coming there with a lady called mrs loverth when we got there we find out that it true and we have to arrange for more men so that we can arrest him after that we have our men all over the place so lucky Mr Kevin was arrested and i am writing you to inform you of the good news,

Lastely mr Lewis after our investigations this morning mr kevin also say about my dear family that you ask him to kill my son and my beloved wife, why whould you do such a thing mr Lewis i will never for give you for this i will make sure you pay for this because you have really kill all my hope in life.

I will also like to inform you that the files is to be release because Mr Kevin is now in our hands and there is nothing any one can do about it, this is the reason why i have not respond to your mail since yesterday.But if you still have any questions to ask dont fail to ask me, that all i have to tell you once again i am very happy about this i promise my partner that i will make sure that i arrest Mr Kevin some day and it finally happened.

Once again i am very happy today.

Your Regard.
Johan....
Lewd Noogie

(to Mark Johan)

Mr. Johan,

This is terrific new! You finally caught that bastard! This is a job well-done, my friend. Now we can let the healing begin and we can all go back to our lives.

Once again, I'm sorry about the family thing but you're probably pretty well over that by now. My suggestion is to jump back into the dating scene, start meeting new people, maybe take up something like tennis. You'll be a new man in no time.

Don't believe anything that Kevin says about me being involved with all the killing that was going on. You can believe that I chewed his ass good for that. Oh, and I'd really appreciate it if you would just go ahead and destroy my file. I don't think you'll be needing it and we don't want to mess up this fairytale ending, do we? Thanks for that.

Well, if you ever make it to Russia be sure to look me up. The beer's on me.

Lewd

ps - I hope you have everything you need to convict Kevin. We wouldn't want him to walk away for lack of evidence or get off on some technicality. My worst fear is to have him running free again.
Mark Johan
Subject: YOU HAVE A SOLUTION TO YOUR PROBLEM

hello Mr Lewis,

Top of the day to you and your entire family.

In respect of your mail i will like to tell you that i have had all that you have say. I can see that you really want this file to be destroy but as i have told you before Mr Kevin have really make me loose my entire family and he his claiming that you are the one that ask him to do so and my partner is still very angry with all this but i will say we are very happy now because Mr Kevin has been arrested all you have to do at this point and time if you really want this files to be destroy you have to make an available payment of ($20,000) wetin the next 48hours but if you know you cant pay this money i have no option than to send the files to the Department of Criminals and i am very sure you know what that means? you will face the Law by going to jail with Mr Kevin and his gang, As you must Mr Kevin know every thing about you and he his ready to say every thing about you.

Me and my partner are the only people that can help you in this if you are ready to pay the sum amount, Remember i have all right to summit this files because of what you and Mr Kevin have done to me and my entire family by killing my beloved son and my beloved wife. The only solution to get out of this mess is for you to pay this money if you fail to pay his money i will not hesitate or have any mercy on you i shall immedaly summit the files if i dont receive a positive response from you before the next 48hours and in this case you will have to die in jail because i will tell the Court that you are responsible for the death of my son and my beloved wife.

Lastely i will also like to tell you that you will go to jail with mr kevin and the Department of criminals have said that this mr kevin will spend 20years in jail i hope you will like to join them if you dont comply and yours will be forever because of the damages that you have done to me and my family.

Here is the picture of Mr Kevin The Great Assasin Ever known.

Think about all this and get back to me this is all i have to tell you .

Have a nice day.
Lewd Noogie

(to Mark Johan)

Have a nice day?!? Have a nice day?!? You tell me I'm going to have to spend the rest of my life in jail and then you say, 'have a nice day'??? You FBI guys have a sick sense of humor.

I don't understand why you choose to take Kevin's word over mine. Haven't I always been up front with you? Didn't we work as a team to capture him? Thanks to me you were able to catch the greatest assassin ever known. Thanks to me your career is going to skyrocket. Thanks to me they'll probably give you a parade for catching this guy.

I have a counter-offer. Instead of giving you $20,000, I'll give you and your partner two weeks free here at the hotel in Gadyukina, everything included. This is a party hotel situated in a party village and I promise you will have the time of your life here. Remember I told you about Olga's younger sister Oxnard? She's yours for the time you're here.

Just let me know when you can get here and I'll arrange everything.

I'm looking forward to meeting you in person.

Lewd
Tony Love

[Enter Tony Love, fellow corrupt FBI associate to Mark Johan. The shakedown continues...]

"tony love" <littlepinches103@yahoo.com>
[213.185.118.234] <-- INTELSAT-CUST-VIENNA-TECHNOLOGIES-NG

Subject: GOOD DAY TO YOU MR LEWIS

hello Mr Lewis,

I know you don't know me but i will have to tell you all this so that you can look for a solutions your self, Before i start my name is Mr Tony from the Department of Crimainals here in the FBI office, i am writing you inrespect of Mr Johan i heard him today saying that he his going to summit your files containing the case between you and Mr kevin, that why i say i should write you and tell you all about this Mr kevin told the FBI that you are the one that ask him to kill Mr Johan wife and son, and mr johan have told the Department of Crimainal that he want this case to go to court so that you will go to jail for this,

Lastely i am writing you to tell you that i am the only person that can help you in all this if you are ready to comply with me i will help you. Because Mr Kevin also told the FBI that you also told him to kill one Mrs olga and if Mr Johan summit this files you will deffinately go to jail for all this and it will be forever.

IF you don't want this to happen kindly get back to me as soon as possible so that we can work this out...
Lewd Noogie
Mr. Tony,

I don't understand why this is happening. I explained to Mr. Johan that I had nothing to do with Kevin going off the deep end. He's a very unstable person as you must well know by now. Why do you take his word over mine? I just want to be left alone.

What do I have to do to make this all go away?

L. Noogie
Tony Love
Subject: HOPE TO HEAR FROM YOU

hello Mr Noogie,

In Respect of your mail i am writing you to inform you that Mr Johan is very angry with you and he has promise to do every thing possible to make sure that you go to jail with Mr kevin, But as i have told you before i will do every thing possible to make sure i help you so that this case will not take you to jail with Mr Kevin. All you have to do at this point and time is that as soon as you recieve this mail you are to send me your contact Telephone Number so that we can discuss on phone, Lastely if you still want me to help you with the files i can do so as soon as i hear from you. Hope to hear from you soon.

Tony........
Lewd Noogie
Mr. Tony,

Before I give you my telephone number there is something I would like you to explain. If Mr. Johan and his partner want me to go to jail, how are you going to prevent it? I mean, what kind of authority do you have within the FBI?

I would also like to know how Kevin's case is progressing. I don't know how thorough Mr. Johan was in putting his case together against Kevin. My greatest fear is that Kevin might be released for lack of evidence. I don't know what I would do then. The last thing I want is for him to be after me again.

Please provide me with this information.

Lewd
Tony Love
Subject: I STILL NEED YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER IT VERY IMPORTANT NOW

hello Mr Lewd,

In respect of your mail i will like to answer your questions one after the other as you must know my name is Mr Tony i am a SSP in the Department of Criminal from the FBI office regarding Mr Johan and his partner has promise to do every thing possible to make sure you go to jail after some investigations Mr Johan came to our office and announce that mr kevin also told them that you promise to pay him some money if he will kill mr johan family so that is why he have to kill the wife and son of mr johan,

I will also like to inform you that Kevin's case is really progressing because Mr Johan is really planing to summit this files contaning your case to the head of Department of Crimainals the reason why he has not summit the files to the Department of Criminals is because the person that is in charge of this case is not arround he traveled to Spain for some assighnment and he will be coming back in two days time so all you need to do now is that you have to act very very fast to make sure that this files is remove from Mr Johan's office so that he will not have any evidence and the Head of Department Criminal officer comes back from Spain.

Look here Mr Lewd i really know that you are very scared because you don't want to go to jail but you have to act fast so that you will not go to jail with Mr Kevin and his gang the only way to prevent this is when you will accept to do this with me, I mean i can only send some one to steal the files out from Mr Johan's office and as well kill Mr Johan so that all this will be over and you will be free for life think about this and get back to me as soon as possible so this is why i want you to give me your Telephone number so that i can call you and discuss it with you better. I will also like to inform you that any thing we do today will be a secrete between the both of us so that any one will not know about this.

Get back to me as soon as you receive this mail so that we can take next step about this, i will also look for some one who can do this job very well before the next Two.

Hope to hear from you soon.

[So much for the FBI being one big, happy family...]

Lewd Noogie
Mr. Tony,

If you can arrange to get my file out of agent Johan's office and also have him 'taken care of', then I'm ready to work with you on this. Actually, I like your idea of getting rid of agent Johan. It ties things up very neatly and only you and I will know what happened. I do hope I can trust you to keep this all quiet.

You realize that you're also going to have to get rid of agent Johan's partner as well, don't you? He already knows too much about me.

My number here at the hotel is 7-495-964-xxxx*. This is the main switchboard, just tell the operator to connect you to Lewd and they'll find me here in the hotel. The phones here in this part of Russia work intermittently - if you don't get through the first time, keep trying.
Ok, Mr. tony, I guess from here on out you and I are in this together. I just hope you're better at this kind of thing than that twit Kevin was.

When can you have this finished?

Lewd

[*My usual apologies to the good folks tending the Moscow (Russian language only) Vehicle Towing Hotline...]

Tony Love
Subject: Contact Email:asconassasins_deathdealers009@yahoo.co.uk

hello Mr Lewd,

Greetinds to you and your family, I received your mail and i have understans that you really want all this done very fast but i will also promise you that i will do every thing to make sure all this is over i have contact the guy that will do this job and i have also told him all about Mr Johan and he have assureed me that he will do the job well. I will also give you his email address so that you can contact him and tell him all you want him to do for you so that Mr Johan and his partner will be killed as soon as possible.

This is his contact: his name is Lake Cloe
Email:asconassasins_deathdealers009@yahoo.co.uk

Let me tell you some thing you have to tell him all that you want him to do for you and also tell him that you are a very good friend of mine and you want all this to be done very fast i know he can take care of Mr Johan and his Partner.

As soon as you contact him get back to me.

Yours Friend
Mr Tony.

[Nothing like a subtle, low-profile email address. I wonder if this guy also advertises in the yellow pages...]

Lewd Noogie
Mr. Tony,

I will contact Mr. Cloe but I would like your assurance that this man is a professional and knows what he's doing. I don't want any more slip-ups. I just want to get this done and overwith so I can go back to spending my time hitting on Olga and not having to worry about this stuff anymore.

Lewd
Lewd Noogie

(to Lake Cloe)

Mr. Cloe,

You don't know me but you have been recommended by a friend of mine, a Mr. Tony. He tells me that you can take care of a somewhat delicate problem that I have, namely getting rid of a couple of corrupt FBI agents who are trying to fleece me. Both of these agents are in the FBI's London office.

Please let me know how soon you could complete the job.

Sincerely,
Lewd Noogie
Tony Love
hello Mr Lewd,

I receive your mail and i am promising you that Mr Cloe is a well trusted person i have known him for a very long time and he does not make mistake in his job i promise you that he will do all you ask him to do so that you can be free as soon as you contact him get back to him so that i can know what he told you don't also forget to tell him that you are my very good friend so that he can do this very fast.

Hope to hear from you.
Mr Tony......

[Apparently there is an organization (corporation, maybe?) of assassins for hire in the UK. Gotta check the tax records on these guys...]

Lake Cloe


"Ascon Assasins Assasins" <asconassasins_deathdealers009@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: ASCOM ASSASSINS

hello Mr Lewis Noogie,
Yes it is true Mr Tony told me that you are interested in having a deal with me i am quite sure that Mr Tony must have told you all about me, it is quite deficult to let you know that i have been in this business for a very long time.

But i think is better i explain to you further more about me and my job, now i know that you are interested in getting rid of two FBI agent in United Kingdom. I am also sure that you know that getting rid of these Fbi agent will be a beat deficult task, but i will do it because it is my job and i have been trained for it i am letting you know about this because it going to cost you alot so if you are ready to pay the fee i am assuring you a %100 that i will do the job sucessfully without any tress.

So Mr Lewis Noogie, getting rid of this two FBI agent will cost you $30,000 for the job, And you are to pay $15,000 before the job will be carried out and the balance of $15,000 after the job has been done sucessfully.

My teams and conditions are as follow:

1: The said payment of $15,000 must be made before i carry out this operation.
2: If i fail to carry out this job i will kindly return back the said amount that was paid by you.
3: Also note that the balance of $15,000 must be made as soon as i finish the job.

I am sure that you have read and understand all my Terms and Conditions so if you have agree and accept to pay the demanded fees that i have requested for, so that i can carry out this operation get back to me with a positive response.

Your Immedaite respond is needed because i have other job to do.. I promise and assure you that you will definately call me for another deal by the time i am through with the deal that i am about to do for you now.

Sign:
Mr Lake Cloe.
Ascom Assassins.
Lewd Noogie
Mr. Cloe,

You come highly recommended by Mr. Tony and he assures me that you can handle the job. However, your asking price of $30,000 seems a bit steep for this job. I'm not asking you to take out J. Edgar Hoover, just a couple of ordinary agents.

I admit that my experience with hired killers is limited to one Mr. Kevin Krob. I don't know if you've ever heard of him but he and his boys were useless. Someone told me he was the greatest assassin ever known but he was more like the biggest a**hole ever known. You can see why I might be a bit hesitant to employ someone else of your profession.

I feel that a more fair arrangement would be for you to take care of one of the agents as a display of your capabilities before payment. I will then pay you what is a reasonable amount and then you take care of the second one. When the job is complete, I pay you the remainder and we forget we ever knew each other.

I'm sure we can settle on a fair and reasonable price. I also need instructions on how to get the money to you.

Lake, if I may use your first name, it is important to me that we get this done quickly. I want to return to my normal quiet, sedate life that I had before Krob and his band of hooligans showed up. Please move quickly on this.

By the way, my friends call me Lewd (short for Lewis D.)

Lewd
Tony Love
Subject: ACT VERY FAST....

Hello Mr lewis,

how are you doing? i have not hear from you if you have contact Mr Lake or not i am writing you from my house now i am just coming back from the office i tried calling you today but the person online did not want to connect me to you so that i can talk to you*.I just want to tell you that the head of Department of Criminals will be coming from Spain on the 17th day of march 2008 you have to do every thing possible to make sure you get rid of Mr johan and his partner that all i want to tell you just act very fas.

Your Friend.
Mr Tony

[*More apologies...]

Lewd Noogie
Mr. Tony,

I appreciate your concern over this matter.

Yes, I wrote to Mr. Cloe this evening but I have had no response yet. I don't know what the market is these days for hired assassins but I suspect he is a very busy man.

I am ready to move on this and I will let you know as soon as I hear from him.

Lewd
Lake Cloe

[Lake agrees to give me the 'Friend-of-a-Friend' discount...]

Subject: FINAL DECISION

Hello Mr Lewis D,

I have read and understand your mail you may think that the said amount that i am asking for is a bit steep for the job but come to think of it two people are involved in the killing that is why i demanded for the sum amount of $30,000 but i will consider you for the fact that a close friend of mine introduce you to me so the list i will collect from you is $24,000 so it eaither you agree with me or back off.

If you have agree with the said amount that i have requested for get back to me by letting me know when you will be making this payment and when you will want us to carry out this job. You are also advice to send us the full details about the FBI Agent that you want dead. Here i state again my teams and conditions.

1: The said payment of $12,000 must be made before i carry out this operation.
2: If i fail to carry out this job i will kindly return back the said amount that was paid by you.
3: Also note that the balance of $12,000 must be made as soon as i finish the job.

Respond to this mail immediately you receive it like i told you in the previous mail i have a lot of job to do so be very fast about it.

Sign:
Mr Lake Cloe.
Ascom Assassins.
Lewd Noogie
Lake,

I agree with your price of $24,000 to do the job. However, as I explained before, I have had nothing but bad experiences with hired assassins and I want to be sure that you can do the job before I throw a lot of money at this. I still think I am being quite reasonable in asking that you take care of one of the agents and THEN I pay you the first $12,000. You then take care of the second one and I pay you the rest. I feel this is the fairest way for both of us.
As far as information on the agents, I only know the name of one of them - Mark Johan. Oh, and I know that he's a widower, with no kids. The other guy I have no clue about. You might want to talk with Mr. Tony because he works with both of them.

Lewd
Tony Love
Subject: DON'T WORRY ALL WILL BE FINE

hello mr Lewis,

How are you and your entire family? I am writing you in respect of your mail that you send to me i will also like to inform you that i have talk with Mr Cloe and he have promise me that he will make sure that he do a very nice job for you so you don't have to worry about anythng. Have also give him some useful informations about the other agent as soon as he his done with Mr Mark i will tell him how to get the other agent so don't worry about any thing beacuse i have known Mr Cloe for a very long time he has never disappointed me when it comes to job like this. All you have to do now is that you have to comply with him so that both of you can still be friends and you can also call him in times of troubles.

Yours Friend.
Mr Tony......
Lewd Noogie
Mr. Tony,

I appreciate you passing the information on to Mr. Cloe.

I was hoping to hear from him today. This affair has been dragging on entirely too long, it's time to get this over and done with.

I told Mr. Cloethat I wanted him to take care of one of the agents first as a demonstration of his abilities because I have not been overly impressed with the current crop of hired assassins. This guy Kevin Krob had no less than five targets and every one of them is still alive and healthy. He was supposed to be the greatest assassin ever but the only thing he was good at was killing innocent bystanders.

If you talk to Mr. Cloe please tell him to get the lead out.

Lewd
Lake Cloe
Subject: WAIT MY RESPOND

Hello Mr Lewis D,

I have read and understand your mail i will also like to inform you that i am a very busy man and i don't play with my job and i will not take it if you try to play games with me i have talk to my friend about what you have said and he have also assure me that i should go ahead and do the job that after doing the job you will pay the $12,000 into my account so that i can delete the other agent of the FBI

I have also carried out some investigation about the other FBI and i have got all the informations that i need to attack him after i finish with Mr Mark Johan, i am gladly telling you that by this time tomorrow Mr Mark Johan will be a histroy to the FBI Department and i have also set some investigations over him yesterday i now knows where he lives and i know the type of car he drives and i also learnt that he always to go Starwood Hotel after work with his BMW Car to see one Mr Larry his very good friend.

Listen Mr Lewd this operation will be carried out this evening by 6:45PM i will make sure that i kill mr Mark Johan my self without any trace and after that i will have to delete the other agent, mean while mr Tony have also told me that i should try and do this very fast and i have also promise him that i will not let him down because he his a very good friend of mine i have been doing this job for a very long time that is why he have also ask me to do this for you and i am also sure that after this operation you will surelly call me for another job. So Mr Lewd i hope you have heard all that i have said i will make sure all this will be carried out today and i will get back to you as soon as this job is done with the account details that you need to make the said payment.

Hoping to hear from me with a good news.

Have a nice day.

Sign:
Mr Lake Cloe.
Ascom Assassins.
Lewd Noogie
Lake,

This is certainly good news. I can finally see an end to this fiasco.

Good luck and, after it's over, let me know how it went.

Lewd
Lake Cloe
Subject: RIP TO MR JOHAN

Hello Mr Lewis D,

I am glad to inform you that the job has been done Mr johan is finally RESTING IN HELL i personally wasted three bullet on him yesterday at Starwood Hotel when he was trying to drive out from the hotel at about 7:12pm, like i told you in the previous email that i sent to you i am a very busy person that's why i have not write you earlier to break the news to you because i went for another operation this morning after the killing of Mr Johan, so you are here by advice to make the payment we agreed on into this account so that i can carry out the killing on the other FBI, as i am writing you this email now the FBI office is under high investigation so i need to carry out the other job very fast so that they will not trace where this killing is coming from.

As you must know i need the full details about the other FBI agent i will carry out the job as soon as i get the first payment into my account so you need to be very fast about this because i don't joke with my job as you already know that what Mr Tony have told you about me.

So here are the account details make the payment and send me a scan copy of the payment slip.

Account Name Mr Bailo Barry,
Bank Name Nationwide Bank,
Sort Code:074456
Account No:46443254,
Iban:Gb43naia07011646443254,
Bic Midlgb22,
P o Box 2098 Swindon.SN1 5TY
UNITED KINGDOM


when you finish making the payment also send me the details of the other agent along with it so that i can carry out the next operation very fast.

[Has anyone noticed that the bank name hasn't even been specified?

Tony Love
Subject: GOOD NEWS MR LEWIS

Hello Mr Lewis,

I just receive a great news this morning in my office on my Radio set that Mr Johan was murdered at about 7:12pm yesterday at Starwood Hotel inside his car when you was about to drive out from the hotel i was so excited when i heard the great news today i am sure you are also happy over this besause this is what we have been waiting for.

Now you will believe that what i told you about Mr Lake Cloe is real as at now the FBI Department is hurnting for the killer which i know fully well that they can never find because no trace about it, Well i am just writing you to braek the good news to you and i am sure that you will also hear about all this from Mr lake Cloe.

All i just want to tell you is that our ememy is fanally dead and i am using this great oppotunity to give you the name and address of the other agent so that you can as well pass it to Mr Lake Cloe so that he can also take care of the fool so he will also experience hell with Mr Johan.

Hahahaha our enemy is gone i can't wait to hear the death announcement of the so-called steve Edward that's the name of the other agent.

His Name And Contact Address:
Name:steve Edward.
Contact Address:28 Olympic Blvd., 2nd Floor
Santa Monica,UNITED KINGDOM.

[Santa Monica???]

Lewd Noogie
Lake,

Nice job, my friend. I received confirmation of the kill from Mr. Tony. One down, one to go.
I'll start working on getting your money to you, meanwhile you probably should go ahead and take out the second guy. He's bound to know that he's next and you need to make your move before he goes into hiding or they put so much security around him that you won't be able to get near him. This weekend would be the best time to finish the job.

I'll be waiting to hear from you.
Lewd
Lewd Noogie
Tony,

I'm celebrating tonight after hearing the news that agent Johan is no more. It's a pity that we had to go to this extreme but I'm sure you will agree that there's nothing worse than a corrupt FBI agent.

Do me a favor - send me the email address of agent Edwards. I'm sure he knows that he's next on the list and I want to play a little cat and mouse with him before Mr. Cloe takes him down. This guy Edwards is the one who started all this crap by suggesting to agent Johan that they should try to get money from me when I was completely innocent. Oh, yeah, I want to dick this guy around a little.

I owe you a debt of gratitude for hooking me up with Mr. Cloe. If you're ever near Gadyukina, be sure to look me up. With agent Johan out of the picture, Olga's younger sister Oxnard is still available and I'm sure the two of you would really ht it off. It would be an honor for me to fix you two kids up.

Lewd
Lake Cloe
Subject: I WILL BE EXPECTING YOUR PAYMENT

Hello Mr Lewis D,

I receive your mail and i will like to inform you that the other operation will be carried out as soon as possible but before that i will want you to send me the informations on the other agent, I know fully well that the FBI will be trying to investigate on this but you don't have to worry about this because it is my job i know how to get the other agent as soon as i get his informations i will make sure i send him to hell quickly so that he can definately join his friend Mr Johan.

So when are you sending me my money? you know fully well that our agreement was that as soon as i finish the first job you will send the first paymet, You know that i told you that i don't play with my job so send the $12,000 into my account so that i can start with the other operations, You have made me to understand that you want me to carry out the other killing by weekend i will make sure i do as you have said so act very fast so that i can get this job finish i will be waiting for your payment in the next coming mail.

Lastly i will also like to inform you that you should try as much as possible to send me the full details about the other agent so that i can carry out this operation very fast because i have other operations to carry out.

when you finish making the payment also send me the details of the other agent along with it so that i can carry out the next operation very fast.
Lewd Noogie
Lake, my friend.

I am working on getting your money to you and will have it deposited in your account shortly. Again, I want to say, 'nice work' in your dispatch of agent Johan. I feel quite comfortable that you will be able to handle agent Edwards easily.

It does occur to me, however, that I will still have a loose end, and by that I mean Mr. Tony. He is the only one besides you and I who knows what has happened and he may decide to blackmail me someday. I can't risk this and I'm afraid that Mr. Tony is going to have to be taken care of also. He has to go.

Can you handle this for me?
Lewd
Lewd Noogie
Subject: IMPORTANT!

Lake,

I almost forgot to send you the information on agent Edwards. His full name is Steve Edwards and he lives at 28, Olympic Blvd, 2nd Floor, Santa Monica, UK. You should be able to find him easily.

Agent Edwards MUST be taken care of by tomorrow. The head of the Crimanails department is scheduled to return from Spain tomorrow and you have to stop agent Edwards from passing on my file. Agent Edwards must be history by tomorrow, then you can take a little more time with Mr. Tony. I would like to have everything finished by the end of this week.
Don't worry, you will have your first $12,000 shortly.

Good hunting.
Lewd
Lake Cloe
Hello Mr Lewis D,

I have heard all that you have said as you must know mr Tony have send me all the informations about the other FBI and i will carry out the operation as soon as possible but as you must know i dont't disapoint my client in jobs like this that is why i am doing this for you because of the friendship of you and mr Tony but as you must know i will make sure i carry out the operation very fast but kindly send me my first payment so that i can carry it very fast.

I have carried out some investigations about the other agent Mr Edward and i have know all about him and his entire family he has Two Kids and he also drives a 2007 Honder Jeep, i will. so killing him will be very easy for me.

Once again send me the first payment i don't play with my job.
Lewd Noogie
Lake,

Don't worry about your money. I'll get to the bank today to get that started.

You didn't respond about my request that you take care of Mr. Tony. I realize that he is your friend but this is business. When can you get rid of him?

Lewd
Lake Cloe
Subject: I WILL WAIT YOUR PAYMENT TODAY......

Hello Mr Lewis,

i have read and undestand all that you have said but i will have to inform you about this i will do all that you want me to do as soon as you can pay for it and as i have told you before you will not regret doing business with me and i am also promising you that after this job you will definately want me to do another job for you, I have carried out all the neccestary investigations about the other FBI, and i have also know when and were to get him i will make sure i carry out this operation first thing tomorrow morning by 7:45am and i promise you that they will be no trace about all this, As for Mr Tony you don't have to worry about him because he will not try any thing funny if he tries to contact me and tell me so that i can deal with him my own way.

You have made me to understand that you will be making the said payment into my account today and as soon as you finish making the payment you are to scan a copy of the transfer slip to me. Also note Mr Lewis, that as soon as i finish this job Tomorrow as promise you are to tell me when you will be making the balance payment into my account.

Get back to me as soon as you finish making the payment into my account.
Lewd Noogie
Lake,

Your statement that I should not worry about Mr. Tony disturbes me, as well as the fact that agent Edwards is still alive. Just killing agent Johan does me no good if there are still two other people walking around who know everything. This is very disturbing, indeed.

Lake, the head of the FBI criminails department returned to the UK from Spain yesterday and by now agent Edwards has probably spoken with him about me. It's probably already too late for me now. You should have taken care of BOTH agent Edwards and Mr. Tony by now. I'm sorry to say that you are turning out to be just like that last guy, Kevin Krob. Neither one of you understands the necessity to get these things finished QUICKLY.

I made the transfer of the $12,000 yesterday to the account of Mr. Bailo Barry. The bank vice president told me it will take about 3 days for the money to show up in his account. This means that anytime in the next 3 days I can STOP the transfer. Lake, I need some action from you and I need it NOW. You have to get tid of BOTH agent Edwards and Mr. Tony today before they can get to the head of the criminails department with my file.

If you can't get it done today let me know now.

Lewd
Lake Cloe
Subject: THE OPERATION WILL BE CARRIED OUT TONIGHT.

Hello Mr Lewis,

IT SEEMS YOU ARE TRYING TO PLAY WITH ME AS YOU MUST KNOW I HAVE NEVER MAKE ANY MISTAKE IN THIS JOB BECAUSE IT IS MY PROFESSION I WAS TRAINED TO BE AN ASSASSIN SO I DON'T MAKE ANY MISTAKE IN IT, AS YOU MUST KNOW I WAS AWARE THAT THE HEAD OF CRIMINAL DEPARTMENT CAME BACK YESTERDAY FROM SPAIN BECAUSE MR TONY TOLD ME EVERYTHING ABOUT THAT AND I HAVE ALSO TOLD HIM TO REMOVE THE FILES SO THAT THEY WILL BE NO EVIDENCE ABOUT THIS AND I WILL ALSO LIKE TO INFORM YOU THAT I AM WORKING ACCORDING TO YOUR INSTRUCTIONS THAT YOU GAVE TO ME THAT WHY I HAVE NOT KILLED MR EDWARD BUT I CAN SEE THAT YOU REALLY WANT ME TO GET RID OF BOTH OF THEM TONIGHT I WILL DO JUST THAT. I WILL CARRY OUT THE OPERATION TONIGHT.

I WILL BE EXPECTING THE PAYMENT SLIP FROM YOU IN THE NEXT COMING MAIL, I HAVE NEVER DISAPPOINTED MY CLIENT AND I WILL NOT ACCEPT DISAPPOINTMENT FROM ANY ONE BECAUSE THE PERSON WILL NOT FIND IT FUNNY WITH ME AT ALL.
Lewd Noogie
Lake,

No, I am not trying to play with you - I'm trying to get this over and done with before my file goes to the head of the criminal department. The problem is that I don't see any sense of urgency on your part. You should have finished this job over the weekend.

The first $12,000 should be in your account by Thursday. If you take care of agent Edwards and Mr. Tony tonight, I'll transfer the other $12,000 tomorrow and you'll have everything by Saturday at the latest.

Please get it done.
Lewd
Lewd Noogie
Lake,

I was hoping to hear from you this morning - did you finish the job last night as promised? I hope you're going to let me know today that this nightmare is over. If everything has been taken care of I'll get the transfer of the remainder of your money started today.

Lewd
Lake Cloe
Subject: MISSION COMPLETED.

Hello Mr Lewis,

I receive your mail i am writing you to inform you that i have carry out the job as promised yesterday, i don't think i need to explain further all i want you to do now is for you to kindly send me the payment slip so that i can go away, you know i told you before that i don't make mistakes in my job and i don't like to repeat my self again, The reason why i have not reply your mail was because i went for another operation So mr Lewis, i hope you have all my money ready now because i will not find it funny if i don't receive the payment slip in your next coming mail.

Once again don't keep me waiting just be fast because the ball is now in your court.
Lewd Noogie
Lake,

Listen, I just wanted to say how much I appreciate everything you've done for me; you've been a real pal and I can't tell you what a relief it is to finally have the FBI off my ass. Now I can go back to my life.

First thing, though, is to take a well-earned and much-needed vacation. Olga, the East German massage therapist is flying back from the UK tonight and I'm going to meet her in Irkutsk and spend a few days there. I feel like a tremendous weight has been lifted from my shoulders and I'm gonna celebrate.

Thanks again for everything and if you're ever in Gadyukina be sure to look me up.

Your pal,
Lewd
Lake Cloe
Subject: SEND ME MY MONEY IF YOU LOVE YOUR SELF

Hello Mr Lewis,

It seems you are trying to play some games with but i promise i have never do a job without being paid for it if you think you can fool me i will make sure you die for it.

if i dont receive my money into that account i will personally come for you as you must know before i kill Mr Edward i took the files contaning all the informations about you and i will make sure i summit it my self before i kill you so don't play with me.
Lewd Noogie
Lake,

I know I still owe you your money but I gotta ask a favor. You see, Olga, the East German massage therapist who works at the hotel just returned from the UK last night and I'm with her now here in Irkutsk. I'm trying to get back in with her but to do that I gotta show her a good time, you dig? She has kinda expensive tastes and feeding her has cost me a bundle just in the short time we've been here. I had to stop the transfer of the money to your nominated account but, I promise, it's only for a short time. Once I get back to Gadyukina I'll see if I can't dig up some more to send you.

We're both men, right? We understand how sometimes we have to cut each other some slack in business, especially when business is interfering with matters of the heart.

I appreciate your help on this and I'll return the favor some day. Oh, and nice work on taking care of Edwards and Tony. It's so nice not having to worry about those guys any more.
Wish me luck with Olga and I'll talk to you later.

Lewd
Lewd Noogie
SUBJECT: Big Favor To Ask

Lake,

Dude, I hate to trouble you but I gotta ask you another favor. I just don't know who else to turn to.

Olga wants to stay here in Irkutsk over the weekend but I'm running out of money. This chick just won't stop eating and she's not satified with going to some noodle joint; she wants the expensive places.

Any chance you could wire a couple thousand dollars to the Western Union office here? I promise I'll pay you back as soon as I get back to Gadyukina. I'd really appreciate it and I would owe you one, big time. If you don't mind doing it, just send me the control number and if you are asked to provide a test question and answer, use the following:

Test Question - Who is absolutely the dumbest mugu to stick his butt-ugly head out from under a rock in all the years I've been dicking with scammers?

Test Answer - Lake Cloe

Thanks. I really appreciate it, dog.

Your pal,
Lewd
Additional Scambait Stats:

Arrested Killers - 3
Corrupt Agents Eliminated - 3
Collateral Damage - 2

No further response from William/Kevin/Lake/etc. I guess he finally caught on to the fact that he was being jerked around. While sorry that he decided to disengage, it certainly was fun while it lasted.

A special thanks to Lads O. Emakpor, R.E. Otomewo, Ameachi Udoye, S. Omeben and Bailo Barry for making their personal bank accounts available to the scammer(s) to receive funds.

I would also at this time like to give a heartfelt 'Urrah' to my fellow expat and pal S.J. for suggesting that the number for the Moscow Vehicle Towing Hotline be used as my own contact number. While no doubt annoying to those on duty at the MVTH, I'm sure it has provided maximum frustration to the Lads trying to contact me there.

L. Noogie
Gadyukina, Irkutskskaya Oblast
Russian Federation
Kevin Krob
Subject: I AM BACK FOR YOU AGAIN!!!!!

well well well. it good to know that i am back again because the FBI have not find any prove in me that is why i was free today from the fbi office, i really know that you know what happen to mr johan and the other fbi officer but you see mr lewis i will make sure you suffer for all this and i will make sure that this time you will not ascape it i will be coming to Russia with my men in two weeks time and i will make sure i use your head as my break fast this time.
Lake Cloe
Subject: HELLO ME LEWIS

HELLO ME LEWIS

HOW ARE YOU DOING AND HOW IS YOUR FAMILY HOPE FINE .
I HAVE GIVEN YOU A VERY LONG TIME SINCE I HAVE FINISH YOUR JOB BUT YOU HAVE NOT PAY THE MONEY INTO MY ACCOUNT, IF YOU KNOW WHAT IS GOOD FOR YOU KINDLY PAY THIS MONEY INTO MY ACCOUNT OR ELSE YOU WILL NOT FIND IT FUNNY WHEN I GET TO YOU.
Ken West
Subject: GREETINGS TO YOU FROM DEPARTMENT OF CRIMINALS

HELLO ME LEWIS

GREETINGS TO YOU FROM DEPARTMENT OF CRIMINALS.

WE ARE WRITING YOU IN RESPECT OF OUR MEN MR JOHAN WHO WAS KILLED MY SOME GUN MEN IN AN HOTEL WHEN HE WAS COMING FROM THE OFFICE, DUE TO OUR INVESTIGATIONS WE WILL LIKE TO KNOW IF YOU KNOW ANY THING ABOUT HIS DEATH, AFTER SOME INVESTIGATION WE ALSO DISCOVER THAT SOME FILES WHERE MISSING IN HIS OFFICE AND THAT FILES CONTAINS A VITAL INFORMATION THAT CAN HELP US IN COURT. SO MR LEWIS IF YOU HAVE ANY INFORMATIONS THAT CAN HELP US PLEASE DON'T HERSITATE TO CONTACT US MEAN WHILE WE ALSO LEARN THAT MR JOHAN WAS YOUR VERY GOOD FRIEND WE ALSO SAW SOME MAIL THAT WAS SENT TO YOU IN HIS COMPUTER AND WE WILL ALSO LIKE TO ASK YOU WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT ONE MR KEVIN AND HIS GANG BECAUSE MR KEVIN WAS ARRESTED BEFORE AND NOW HE HAS BEEN RELEASE BECAUSE ALL THE EVIDENCE THAT WE HAVE BEFORE HIM IS A FAKE ONE NOW BECAUSE MR JOHAN IS DEAD SO MR LEWIS IF YOU HAVE ANY USEFUL INFORMATIONS THAT CAN HELP US PLEASE RESPOND SO THAT WE CAN TAKE LEGAL ACT ON THIS AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.
Lewd Noogie (to Ken West)
Mr. West,

While I am always ready and willing to help the FBI with it's investigations, I'm afraid I can't be of any help here. I don't know any Mr. Johan.

Sorry, never hard of him, there must be some mistake.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie
Lewd Noogie (to Kevin Krob)
Kevin,

So good to hear you got out. I told 'em you were innocent

The best thg for you to do now is to go away, maybe change your name, and start a new life, preferrably someplace far from Russia.

Good luck, and try to keep a lid on that temper of yours.

Lewd
Lewd Noogie (to Lake Cloe)
Lake, you've got some nerve writing to me now after the way you left me stranded there in Irkutsk. I mean, would it have been such a big deal to send me some money so I could get in with Olga?

I thought we were friends but I guess not. Lewd
Ken West
Subject: I wait your positive respond.

Hello me Lewis,

Thanks for your respond. As you must know my name is Mr west a very good friend to Late Mr johan, you are trying to tell me that you don't any one called by that name as you must know late mr johan told me every thing before he died i am writing you to inform you about it or else you will go to jail, mr kevin was release because the FBI have no evidence about what they say he did but mr johan have a file that contanins all the evidence about you that will make you go to jail, Two days before the death of mr johan he came to my house and told me that he will summit the files to the head of department so that you can also be arrested with mr kevin but i told him not to because he told me that you promise to pay him the dum of $10000 so that he will not summit the files to the head of criminals after talking with him he promise me that he will give me the files so that i can keep it for him unfortunatley he was killed by some gun men the next day i am very sure you have hand in hios death if you want me not to send this files that will make you go to jail for life all i am asking from you now is just the sum of (£9,000) so that both of us will just act as if nothing have happen but if you choose not to act with me i will have no option than to report this case to the head of criminals because the death of late mr johan was in deed a great lost to the entire fbi and the head of department they are even saying that if any one can give them a useful information they are ready to pay the person a large amount of money in this so be wise don't be greedy or else you will rost in jail.

Good luck as i wait your positive respond.

Yours friend
Mr west
Lewd Noogie (to Lake Cloe)
Dammit, Lake, you told me that you took my file when you took care of that guy Johan. Now I've got another cop telling me that HE'S got the file and now he wants me to pay HIM 9,000 pounds. What the hell?? Nice job, Lake. Now this sh*t is gonna start all over again. What am I paying you for??

Carlos The Jackal you ain't.

Lewd
Lake Cloe
look here mr man you think you can fool me or what, when i want to start this job yiou promise to pay me after the job iss done, as why did you disapppoint me now you think i can help you in this, the only way i can help you is when you pay me the money that you are owning me than i can take care of that foolish person that you are talking about as you must know i i really know all about him so if you want me to kill him too kindly get back to me so that i can attack him with out any trace.But before that you have to pay me my money first.
Ken West
Subject: MAKE A CHOICE BEFORE THE NEXT 48HOURS!!!!!

Hello mr lewis,

Greetings to you from me!

I am writing you for the last time now if i don't receive a possitive respond from you in this i will have no option than to start sitting your files to the head of criminal Department i am very sure you fully know what that means you will be arrested and die in jail, I will also like to inform you that all evidence about all this is with me and i am sure you don't to go to jail if i don't receive your mail in my desk before 48hours you will regret every thin you have done to your self. That all i want to tell you so make a choice.
Lewd Noogie (to Lake Cloe)
Lake, you were supposed to make my problem with the FBI go away. You didn't do that. As a matter of fact, I suspect that things are even worse now, because it seems that the entire FBI organization knows about me. And for this you expect to get paid? Puhleeze. Your bumbling efforts are beginning to make that guy Kevin Krob look like the consumate professional, and he was an idiot. I'd be half tempted to hire him to fix your ass if I didn't think he'd wipe out half of London while doing it.

I received a substantial sum of money three days ago as a bonus for my work here and it was my intention to pay you off this week. That is, until I found out that you did a half-assed job. You want to get paid?? Then FINISH THE JOB! Get rid of this guy Ken West and do it quickly. And by the way, they turned Kevin Krob loose and he said he's coming here to kill me. Find him and put him out of his misery.

This entire situation has become a circus because you didn't do your job right the first time. Fix it so I can go back to a normal life and THEN I'll pay you. Lewd
Lewd Noogie
Mr. West,

I must still insist that you have made a terrible mistake. I vaguely recall a brief correspondence with a Mr. Johan, but it was only in regards to a vacation he was planning to take here in Gadyukina with his family. The correspondence ceased when his family met with some sort of ghastly accident. Automobile, I think.

I would also mention that the name Noogie is very common in this part of the world, as is the given name Lewis. There are probably dozens, if not hundreds, of Lewis Noogies here in Russia and Eastern Europe.

I'm sure that you can now see that you have made an error in suspecting me in any kind of foul play with one of your agents. I am an upstanding, law-abiding citizen and wish no one harm.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie
Lake Cloe
Hello Lewd,

what do you take me for? a fool or what you have fool me before and this time i will not be fooled again by you, as you must know i have send one of my boys to find out about it and i have get all the information that i need to silent him for life but on only one codition if i don't receive the money into my account i will not do any thing may be you will face the case your self you know what that means because you will be hold responsible for killing the fbi agent and i am very sure you don't want to go to jail now? But if you are ready to act fast with so that i can put this bastard away kindly get back to me so that i can give you another information on how tp make payment and i promise after this you will not hear about any one again so think about it and get back to me for the payment details.
Lewd Noogie (to Lake Cloe)
Screw that! You can send me the payment details and I'll pay you, but only after you take care of this guy. The deal was that you were gonna make my FBI problem go away and as far as I'm concerned that's still the deal.

I'm getting tired of fulking around with this mess. You do your job and take care of West and Krob, then you'll get paid in full. Otherwise, fulk off.

Lewd
Ken West
Hello Mr Lewis D. Noogie.

I'm very sorry you are the wrong person as you must know i have never be so serious with my self but as you must know before my friend mr johan died he told me every thing about you and how you promise to pay him some money so that he will not summit your files, but unfortunately he was killed by some gun men in front of an Hotel and as you must know the day he was killed i was surppost to meet him there but the reason why i was not there with him is because i went to drop my Daughter in the Airport because she was traveling to see her beloved husband in Holland that is why i was not there with him.

So mr Noogie if you think i am joking with you i have all the mail that you sent to mr johan before he died because i have access to his mail box as a very good friend. this is a very big choice for you to make now before it will be too late or else you will have your self to blame when the entire FBI visit you in your country after i must have pass all the information to them that you killed mr johan and his entire family because he know all about you that will put you in jail forever.

I am only given you Two days to think about it if i don't receive a mail asking me on how to wire the money that i ask you to pay me so that this case will die. So mr Noogie is your choice to make about this matter or else you will die in jail. SO good luck as i await your reply before the next Two days.
Lewd Noogie (to Ken West)
Mr. West,

I don't know how you could even suspect that I had anything to do with Mr. Johan's demise. I have been here in Gadyukina for the past 6 months and my passport will prove that. As I said before, I only corresponded briefly with him regarding his intention to spend his vacation here at the hotel.

So as you can clearly see, there has been a simple case of mistaken identity. If there is anything else I can do to assist you in your pursuit of the real criminals, please don't hesitate to ask.

Sincerely,

Lewis D. Noogie
Lake Cloe
look here mr man i don't like doing business with your kind of person if you know that you will not pay me first i will have no option than to let them deal with you that all i have to say!! If it must interest you to know after some interagations i find out that mrs olga is still planing to grt rid of you so if you don't want all this to happen to you just act very fast or else you will regret all this when the fbi come to arrest you and you will go to jail as an arm-rubber.

so is now your choice to make now.If you are ready to work with me get back to me for the payment details so that i can get rid of them very fast.
Ken West
Subject: Get back to as soon as possible....

Well mr lewis,

Now see that you don't want to co-operate with me because you think i am not serious about what i told you but let me tell you this again i have given you just Two days to think about it and get back to me now i see that you are not ready to but i promise you one thing that i have all the prove that will put you in jail forever and if you try me i will make sure you go to jail and i promise you that you will die in it because the Department of Criminals have sworn that if they ever fined the killer of mr johan they will make sure the person and his entire family will pay for it so if you don't want this to happen to you kindly pay me off or else you will not like it when it get to you....

Get back to as soon as possible....
Lewd Noogie (to Lake Cloe)
Alright, send me the payment details. I'll go over to the bank on Monday and make the transfer. I just want to make all of this go away.

You better not screw this job up again. I want that guy Ken West taken care of good, you hear me? If you fulk this up I'll hunt your ass down with dogs.
Lake Cloe
Hello Lewd,

I have read and understand your mail and i am writing you to let you know that i will send you the account information first thing tomrrow morning so that you can pay the money into my account i have called my bank and i have also asked them to open an account for me they have promise to do that tomorrow so as soon as they do that i will get back to you . I will also like to inform you that i will take care of that bastard. so expect my account information tomorrow.
Ken West
Subject: LAST WARNING

Well mr lewis,

Now see that you don't want to co-operate with me because you think i am not serious about what i told you but let me tell you this again i have given you just Two days to think about it and get back to me now i see that you are not ready to but i promise you one thing that i have all the prove that will put you in jail forever and if you try me i will make sure you go to jail and i promise you that you will die in it because the Department of Criminals have sworn that if they ever fined the killer of mr johan they will make sure the person and his entire family will pay for it so if you don't want this to happen to you kindly pay me off or else you will not like it when it get to you....

Get back to as soon as possible....

[Yup it's the same letter as before.]

Lewd Noogie (to Ken West)
Mr. West,

I assumed by now you would have discovered your mistake but I see that this has not happened. I tell you I am innocent of all these accusations. I cannot be responsible for all these heinous crimes you accuse me of, I haven't even left this hotel in the past six months.
And how can you say that I'm going to prison when I haven't even been tried for these crimes? Whatever happened to innocent until proven guilty?

I think I should come to London to discuss this with you in person. Why don't we set up a meeting someplace quiet and isolated where we can solve this. I can be in London in 3 days.

Lewis
Lake Cloe
Subject: BELOW ARE THE ACCOUNT DETAILS.

hello mr lewis,

here is the account details that you are to make the said payemt you are advice to make and send the scan copy of the payment slip as soon as you make the payment. I am promising you that as soon as you make the paymet i will make sure that that bastad become an histroy. i have also learn that he will be traveling to visit her daughter in holland by monday and i will make sure i carry out the operation as soon as possible you don't have to worry about any thing trust me in this because it is my profession and they will be no mistakes.

BELOW ARE THE ACCOUNT DETAILS.

BANK: NATWEST BANK UK
ADDRESS OF BANK: 6 AMHURST PARADE, LONDON N16 5AD UNITED KINGDOM
BENEFICIARY: PACIFIC GLOBAL UK
ACCOUNT NUMBER: 37557831
SORT CODE: 60 - 20 - 22
SWIFT CODE: NWBKGB2L
IBAN NUMBER: GB71NWBK60202237557831
Ken West
look here mr lewis is too late now as i am writing you this mail i will be traveling to see my daughter and her family and i will be living first thing monday morning when i come back and you have not give me a possitive respond i will make sure your files get to justice and you will face the bar.
Lewd Noogie (to Lake Cloe)
Ok, Lake, I made the transfer and the transfer slip is attached. The bank says the money will be in your account in 3 days. Now you better do your job, and do it FAST. That guy West says he's gonna turn my file over to the Criminal Division before the weekend.
I want a COMPLETE job this time with no loose ends. And get that file and burn it.

[No word from Lake for two days...]

Lewd Noogie (to Lake Cloe)
Subject: Wire Transfer Stopped

This is just as I thought. I send you the money and that's the last I hear from you. Your idea is to just take the money and then let the FBI have me. Well, it ain't gonna work, my friend. This is to notify you that I stopped the transfer of the $8,000 to your nominated account this afternoon.

Forget it, Lake, it's over. I'll handle this guy West myself.
Ken West
Subject: Happy WeekEnd My Dear Friend Lewis.....

Well mr lewis,

it very nice i did not receive any mail from you since i am out but you see i think i have given you a long time enough for you to realise all your mistakes and pay me off, but i see that you are not in any way ready to comply with me so that all this can go away with out ant one know about what you have done as you must know this is the last mail that i will be sending to you if i don't receive a possitive respond in my desk first thing tomorrow morning i will have no option than to go to the law enforcement agencis and summit all the investigation that can put you to jail foe life so if you don't want all this to happen better conply or you will face jail.

Happy WeekEnd My Dear Friend Lewis.....
Lewd Noogie (to Ken West)
Mr. West,

My life has been a circus since that man Kevin Krob showed up and I can't take it anymore. I am tired of running and it is time for me to stop. I am ready to give up.

I confess that I hired Kevin Krob to get rid of my admin assistant Maya Bushburn and Olga, the East German massage therapist. I confess that I hired Lake Cloe to get rid of agents Mark Johan, his partner Edwards, and Tony Love. I also confess that I hired Lake Cloe to get rid of you. Sorry about that, it was very rude of me.

I did not, however, have anything to do with Kevin Krob killing agent Johan's family. When I hired him to get rid of Agent Johan I wasn't counting on the St. Valentines Day Massacre.

So there you have it. I'm guilty and I'm ready to give up. I will be waiting here for your men to arrive to arrest me. Olga has offered to keep me handcuffed until you get here but so far I have declined. Olga very much enjoys using handcuffs on me and it's not always a pleasant experience.

I await your arrival.
Lewd

[No word from anybody for over a week now, I think this truly is the end this time. However, I still have a pair of unpaid, pissed-off assassins out there running loose and the FBI has not yet arrived here in Gadyukina to arrest me for my crimes, so who knows. I do hope that agent West and his team arrive soon - Olga's handcuffs are getting damned uncomfortable.]

 

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