Sent: Sunday, July 17, 2005
Subject: THIS IS URGENT TRY AND RESPOND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
UNION BANK OF NIGERIA PLC
LAGOS-NIGERIA.
Dear Friend,
I am Dr.Simon David, of Bills and Exchange at the foreign remitance department of the Union Bank of Nigeria Plc. I am writing this letter to ask for your suppport and co-operation to carry out this business opportunity in my department.I discovered an abandoned sum of $20.565m(twenty million, five hundred and sixty five thousand united states dollars only) in Account Number 11008734290 status of account fixed deposit account, that belongs to one of our foreign customer Mr.Lee won C.E.O.,WONG LEE CONSTRUCTION COMANY NIGERIA LIMITED,Who died along with his entire family in November 2002 in a plane crash. Since we got information about his death we can not release the money unless somebody applies for it as the next of kin or relation to the deceased.As indicated in our banking guidelines.
Unfortunately,neither the family members nor the relations have appeared to claim this money.At this discovery,I decided to do business with you and release the money to you as the next of kin or relation of the deceased for safety and subsequent disbursement since nobody is coming for it and I don't want this money to go into the bank trasury as an unclaimed debt.The banking law and guidelines of Union Bank of Nigeria Plc stipulates that if such money remained unclaimed for a period of Six (6) years it will be transfered into the bank treasury as unclaimed fund.the need for a foreigner as next of kin in this siness is occasioned by the fact that the costomer was foreigner and as a Nigerian cannot stand as his next of kin or heir.I agreed that 30% of the money will be for you as foreign partner,thereafter I will visit your country for disbursement according to the percentage indicated.
Therefore to enable the lmmediate transfer of the fund to you as indicated.You must apply to the bank as relation or next of kin of the deceased.Indicating your bank number an indicating where the money will be remitted.Upon receipt of reply.I will send to you the text of application as soon as you receive this letter you should reach me through my above e-mail immediately and indicate this informations below:
1.Your full name and address
2.Your telephone and fax number for easy communication.
3.Your company's name and address.
Upon receipt of your reply, I will send to you by email, the Certificate of Deposit and the application of Claim.
I will not fail to bring to your notice that this transaction is hitch-free and that you should not entertain any atom of fear as all required arrangements have been made for the movement of the money.
You should contact me immediately as soon as you receive this letter.
Trusting to hear from you immediately.
Reply me on my private email:simondavid02@yahoo.com
Yours Faithfully,
Dr.Simon David.
Pedro, intrigued by the EXTREME use of exclamation points, wants more info! I mean, with 24 punctuation marks, it must be legit. The mark of a true Bank Employee With A Doctorate.
Pedro Martinez
To: simondavid_2005@hotmail.com Date: Aug 4, 2005 Dear Dr. Simon David:
If you sent this to me on purpose, then I would be interested. If not, I'm sorry - foul ball.
Best Regards-
Peter Martinez
Simon David
Here's a [manicured] header - for those interested. Attached is the standard certificate of deposit, with an Asian gentleman's picture.
Received: from 80.179.251.76 ( [80.179.251.76])
as user simondavid20005@10.0.1.1
X-REMOTE-ADDR: 80.179.251.76
X-HTTP-HOST: www.inbox.lv
Message-ID: <1123185936.42f27510d9b62@www.inbox.lv>
Date: Thu, 4 Aug 2005 23:05:36 +0300
From: Simon David <simondavid20005@inbox.lv>
Subject: I have send the Certificate of Deposit
Attention;Peter Martinez,
I have send the Certificate of Deposit to you right now.Please open your attachment and view it after viewing it try and get back to me so that i can send the Application of Claim to you for you to send to the bank.
Thank you and God bless,
Dr.Simon David.
Pedro questions his ability to pass as the relative of an Asian gentleman. Apparently, this is not important.
Pedro Martinez
Date: Aug 4, 2005
Excellent Dr. Simon David -
Thank you for sending me the certificate of deposit. Usually I let my agent handle such matters, but I can understand the need for confidentiality.
One question: How in the name of God am I supposed to pass myself off as next of kin? Wong is a Chinese National, and I was born in the Dominican Republic!! Nobody would ever buy the family resemblance...
Thanks for the time-
Pedro
What a racist! He is assuming that Pedro is a white man! This scammer must be dizzy from so many exclamation points! Oh yeah, and he sent Pedro two copies.
Simon David
Date: Aug 5, 2005 Subject: THIS IS MY ADVICE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dear Cousin Peter ,
How are you today?
Thank you for your question that you have ask,the only thing there is that anybody can claim the funds from any country so far you are white.
Then again why i said that you should keep it to your self is that i do not want people to know that this kind of money is going to your account that is why i am saying that you should keep it to yourself alone.
Thank you, and i will send you the application for your to send to the bank okay,and please again try and send me your telephone number so that i can call you today.
Thank you,
Dr.Simon David.
Do not worry about this transaction as soon as the bank get your mail you will see what i am talking about that is trun not lie.
To demonstrate that Pedro is not a white man, I send him a photo from a 2004 Red Sox press conference.
Pedro Martinez
Date: Aug 5, 2005
Dear Mr. Simon David:
1. I am not your cousin, so please don't disrespect me in this manner. I left my previous job in Boston because they didn't show me respect.
2. Why in the hell would you assume I am white? I told you I am from the Dominican Republic. The farthest thing from a white man. I have enclosed a photo of myself so you can see - THERE IS NO WAY I can pass for a relative of an Asian man!
Why do you keep calling for curve balls??
Peter
Apparently Simon wants to get back on track, and to have Pedro stop worrying about such trivialities as race and respect. It's all about The Application.
Simon David
Date: Aug 5, 2005
Please My Good Brother,
You can claim this funds for me i am telling you the real truth,if you can help me i will be happy and i will like you to know that as soon as you send the application you will see that the bank will respond to you.
you just try and send the application to the bank.
Thank you,
Dr.Simon David.
Pedro Martinez
Date: Aug 8, 2005
I must say I don't like your tone, but I'll write that off to pressure. Not everone can be a big gamer like myself.
I will send the application to the bank right away. What a busy weekend - even for a guy that only works once every five days!
-Pedro
This was also sent twice, maybe as emphasis.
Simon David
Date: Aug 5, 2005
Subject: This is the Application of claim send it to the bank!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The Director,
Claims & Bills Department,
Union Bank Nig Plc,
Union bank house,
Marina,Lagos-Nigeria.
E-mail:UNIONBANKOFNIGERIAPLC_1@hotmail.com
Date:05-08-2005.
Dear Madam,
Application of Claim
Account number: 11008734290
Belonging to Late Mr.Lee Wong.
l humbly wish to present myself as the next of kin to your Late customer whose account number is stated above. As you are aware, my Late cousin Late Mr.Lee Wong whose last working office was Lee Construction Company Nigeria Limited who died with the wife and the only daughter in a plane crash in November 2002. l now seek your co-operation in transferring the sum of US$20,565,000.00 belonging to Late Mr. Lee Wong into my bank account stated below,
Name of Bank:
Address of Bank:
Account Number:
Name of Beneficiary:
Bank telex Number:
l will appreciate receiving the accured interest on the said account while transferring the fund. Finally, we the entire family of Late Mr. Lee Wong had suffered towards receiving this fund and also his entire assests accordingly.
Thanking you for your kind co-operation. Awaiting your immediate reply.
Regards,
Mr.Cousin Peter,
Next of Kin.
A little research into Dominican banking, and we have an application
Pedro Martinez
To: UNIONBANKOFNIGERIAPLC_1@hotmail.com
Date: Aug 8, 2005
Subject: Application of Claim!
Dear Madam,
Application of Claim
Account number: 11008734290
Belonging to Late Mr.Lee Wong.
l humbly wish to present myself as the next of kin to your Late customer whose account number is stated above. As you are aware, my Late cousin Late Mr.Lee Wong whose last working office was Lee Construction Company Nigeria Limited who died with the wife and the only daughter in a plane crash in November 2002. l now seek your co-operation in transferring the sum of US$20,565,000.00 belonging to Late Mr. Lee Wong into my bank account stated below,
Name of Bank: Banco Mercantil
Address of Bank:
Roberto Pastoriza 303
Apartado Postal 20203
Santo Domingo
Dominican Republic
Account Number: 0234913910
Name of Beneficiary: Pedro Martinez
Bank telex Number: (809) 276-4333
l will appreciate receiving the accured interest on the said account while transferring the fund. Finally, we the entire family of Late Mr. Lee Wong had suffered towards receiving this fund and also his entire assests accordingly.
Thanking you for your kind co-operation.
Awaiting your immediate reply.
Regards,
Mr.Pedro Martinez, Next of Kin.
This has to be the bitchiest scammer I have played with. He/She should just send out mass emails demanding money. One also has to enjoy the similar enthusiasm for exclamation points. Must be a Union Bank thing...
Ms. Angela Dike
From: union nigeria <unionbankofnigeriaplc_1@hotmail.com>
Date: Aug 8, 2005
Subject: Thank you and congratulations!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
UNION BANK OF NIGERIA PLC
INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT
PLOT 36 MARINA STREET, LAGOS ISLAND, LAGOS-NIGERIA
Fax: 8712425721
TELEPHONE:234-1-891-8651 OR 234-1-471-0716
Email: UNIONBANKOFNIGERIAPLC_1@hotmail.com
08/08/2005.
ATTENTION:Mr.Pedro Martinez,
Sequel to the receipt of your official application for the immediate release of the deceased total assets as is contained in the record of this bank.
I humbly write to officially inform you that about the most urgent need for the following requirement below to be obliged by you to this office with regards to the procurement of all the classified fund release documents in your favour as the final beneficiary of the total funds(US$20.565m).
Worthy to note is the fact that all your personal and banking details need to be authenticated vetted and eventually processed towards ensuring the final release authority on your behalf.You are therefore required to send to us the following:
1)Mr.Lee Wong, Certificate of deposit. 2)Photocopy of your International Passport or Driver’s License. 3)Your occupation and your house address. 4)Your age,full name and your Banking address and there Number so that we can call them and ask if your account is okay to receive this kind of funds. 5)To enable us to transfer the funds into your account, you are advised to obtain an Anti -Corruption Certificate Clearance from the office of the Presidency of the Federal Republic of Nigeria which is a key address was stated by our president regarding to transfer of large huge of funds outside this country, this Anti-Corruption Certificate will clear you that your fund is not generated from Drug or Terrorist money. 6)To enable you obtain this Anti -Corruption Certificate Clearance you are advice to look for a lawyer that can get you the Anti -Corruption Certificate Clearance and send it to us with the above requirement to enable us to transfer the amount into your account. 7)Please madam we will need you to come and sign some document which will enable us to transfer your funds but due to your work there ma,we know that you will not be able to come to Nigeria and in that case you can send the lawyer that will halp you to obtain the Anti -Corruption Certificate Clearance to come to our Bank and sign the Document on your behalf.
Be informed that the above documents will enable us to start processing the release of funds into your nominated account in Dominican Republic.
Treat this message with utmost dispatch,and oblige us to serve you better.
Thank you and congratulations!
Yours faithfully,
Mrs.Angela Dike.
More exclamation points, because Pedro made Simon happy okay!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! As a way of explanation for the upcoming indignation, this email account was used to impersonate someone named Cousin Peter before it was used for Pedro. There is the source of the poor fella's confusion.
Simon David
Date: Aug 8, 2005 Subject: THANK YOU FOR YOUR RESPOND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Dear Cousin Peter,
I most say that i am happy, please as soon as you send the appliaction try and let me know so that if they contact you i will tell you what to tell them okay.
Thank you for sending the application.
Dr.Simon David.
P.S Try and send me your number i will like to talk to you today.
Pedro Martinez
Date: Aug 9, 2005
Dear Simon David:
1. The bank has responded to me. I need a certificate of some sort. I presume you have one of these? 2. You addressed me as 'Cousin Peter'. Don't ever address me like that. I am not your cousin. Please treat me with the respect I deserve. I left my last job in Boston because they wouldn't respect me enough to pay me. My name is Peter Martinez. If you can't address me with respect I can't be sure you are serious about this operation. 3. You may call me - I'm currently on a road trip but give me a try at 206-202-xxxx.
Peter Martinez
Simon David
Date: Aug 9, 2005
Subject: I have send the Certificate of Deposit
I have send the Certificate of Deposit,try and send it to the bank okay
Thanks for the reminder Simon okay
The lawyer talk starts.
Pedro Martinez
Date: Aug 10, 2005
Dear Mr. Simon David:
The woman from the bank has demanded something about a lawyer to sign some papers. Let's face it Simon - both you and I have dealt with lawyers before! They're all a crooked bunch of self important weiners - like home plate umpires. I told her to courier the documents to me and I'll get it taken care of. This is a pretty big city I live in, here in New York.
So tell me, do you like sports?
-Pedro
Again, Shea Stadium. My earlier unsuccessful attempts at using Pedro allowed me to use Fenway Park's address. But we must be accurate and not let sentimentality get in the way.
Pedro Martinez
To: union nigeria <unionbankofnigeriaplc_1@hotmail.com>
Date: Aug 9, 2005
Dear Ms. Angela Dike:
I have enclosed the certificate of deposit for Mr. Lee Wong. Here is my address:
Pedro Martinez
123-01 Roosevelt Ave
Flushing, NY 11368
I have already sent you my banking information.
Let's get this done without having to go to extra innings, you know what I mean? Stop throwing me the curves and sliders, and serve one up. Let's get this transaction done!
Pedro Martinez
Pedro don't need no stinking lawyer okay
Ms. Angela Dike
Date: Aug 10, 2005
Subject: WE NEED YOUR RESPOND
Dear Mr.Pedro Martinez,
Please we are waiting for your lawyer to come and sign the document on your behalf in our bank okay.
Thank you,
Mrs.Angela Dike.
Pedro Martinez
Date: Aug 10, 2005
Dear Ms. Angela Dike:
Please use DHL to courier the documents to me. I will sign them and have them notarized with all relevant documentation. Send them to me at this address:
Pedro Martinez
c/o Shea Stadium
123-01 Roosevelt Ave.
Flushing, NY 11368
Any problems you may call me at 206-202-xxxx. Thanks for your cooperation Ms. Dike - I feel that this is going to whiz by like a split fingered fastball.
Yours,
Pedro Martinez
My good friend and Brother Simon is going to SCOUR NIGERIA for a GOOD LAWYER for me. Thanks buddy!
Simon David
Date: Aug 10, 2005
Subject: DO THIS NOW AS SOON AS YOU CAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Attention;Brother,
How are you today and family?
Thank you very much for your mail.
And also i am so much happy to hear that the bank has contacted you now.Please tell them that you can not come to Nigeria that you are going to send a lawyer who will come to the bank and sign the whole document on your behalf.
Then i will go out of the city now to go and look for a good lawyer whole will go to the bank and sign the whole document.Please my brother,I have every important thing to tell you.Please you should not allowed the bank to know that i am the person that gave the all this informations to avoid puting me in to trouble.Thank God for everything now i will go and look for the lawyer just tell the bank that you will send a lawyer by friday morning.
Then as soon as i come back i will mail you and tell you the name of the lawyer that will go and sign it.So that you can give the name to the bank so that once the lawyer get there they will not ask him any question.I will get back to you soon.
Thank you my good brother,
Dr.Simon David.
Ms. Angela Dike
Date: Aug 10, 2005
Subject: FROM:INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT
Dear Mr.Pedro Martinez,
Please Sir,
We can not DHL the document to you,the reason why is this you will have to pay for the DHL from Nigeria to your Country which is going to cost you about $2,360USD so please if you know that you are going to send the money to our bank so that we can DHL it to you that will be fine.
This is the informations to send the money to one our top officer below:
Name:ADEJORO PAUL
Address:PLOT 36 MARINA STREET, LAGOS ISLAND,LAGOS-NIGERIA
As soon as you send the money try and send us the information so that we can get the Document transfer to you.
Thanks,
Mrs.Angela Dike.
Those are some overpriced shipping rates DHL is charging in Nigeria! And do they want me to send a CHECK?
I'll just schedule a pickup. I think he/she knows I'm bluffing though.
Pedro Martinez
Date: Aug 11, 2005 Dear Ms. Angela Dike:
I'm not sure what rate calculator you are using, but you're way off! I went to http://www.dhl.com.ng/ and scheduled a pickup at the following address for the documents:
Union Bank of Nigeria PLC International Remittance Department Attn: Ms. Angela Dike Plot 36 Marina Street Lagos Island Lagos, Nigeria
Shipping to : Pedro Martinez c/o Shea Stadium 123-01 Roosevelt Ave. Flushing, NY 11368 United States of America
The pickup is scheduled for tomorrow between 9AM and 12PM (your local time.) Also, it didn't cost me anywhere near what you said! They charged my credit card $38.45 USD.
Lets pitch a perfect game on this one!
Pedro
He left me a voicemail... usual thing. Pronounced Pedro's name 'Mar-tenz'. I'll forgive him though because he's my friend.
Pedro Martinez
Date: Aug 11, 2005
Mr. Simon David:
I already spoke to you about calling me 'Cousin Peter'. Now instead of addressing me with respect, you are calling me 'Brother'. I can't stress enough how your disrespect upsets me. If you were at the plate and nobody was on base, I'd drill you in the ass.
About this lawyer nonsense: don't go hiring anyone yet! I'm trying to take care of this with the bank directly. So I don't want you spending money on some slick local when it is completely unneccesary.
Remember to respect me. Actually, if you want to call me something other than my name, refer to me as 'Three Time Cy Young Winner'. That shows that you respect me.
Hold on while I work this out with the bank. I got your voicemail by the way... give me your number so I can call you back.
Pedro Martinez.
Simon David
Date: Aug 11, 2005
Dear Pedro Martinez,
How are you today?
You can call me on my line now.234-80-2589-7602 call me as soon as you can okay.
Thank you,
Dr.Simon David.
Pedro Martinez
Date: Aug 11, 2005
Dear Dr. Simon David:
How long will you be in the office? I have to go do some longtoss right now but I will be available later.
By the way, I arranged a pickup for the documents from the bank. DHL will courier them to New York City for me, so don't worry about a lawyer. (That screwball bank officer tried to tell me the DHL would cost over $2000. I think she was full of you-know-what. It cost me under $100.)
Sincerely,
Pedro Martinez
Now Ms. Dike seems to be getting a little testy... Good way to win the heart of a scam victim!
Ms. Angela Dike
Date: Aug 11, 2005
Subject: INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT
Dear Pedro,
This is why the money is like that,the Court here in Nigeria have to sign on it before the Document will be move to you and we will have to give the union bank of nigeria Governor some money before the Document can get to you so please if you know that you are not ready to claim this funds please wait ontill you get the money.
Thank you,I am not a fool
Mrs.Angela Dike.
Pedro is tired of this womans crappy attitude and rudeness.
Pedro Martinez
Date: Aug 11, 2005
Dear Ms Angela Dike:
1. You will refer to me as Mr. Martinez. I don't need your disrespect.
2. You should have explained to me what that money was for. You told me only it was a DHL fee - that's why I was so surprised! So who exactly is trying to put a squeeze play on me? I'll drill him in the ass.
So what you are saying is I should cancel the DHL pickup, because you don't have the document ready, because some Court has to sign on something. But what it REALLY comes down to is that you need me to pay off your bank president??
That hardly sounds ethical, but let me know how much. Maybe I can negotiate him down, or blaze a fastball right by him.
3. You are a very rude woman.
Sincerely,
Pedro Martinez
My favorite scam-fun of all time - complaining to one scammer about the other when they clearly are the same person. The joys never cease in Scamland!
Pedro Martinez
Date: Aug 11, 2005
Dear Dr. Simon David:
We have run into a little problem it seems. That tremendously rude woman at the bank (Angela Dike) will not release the papers to me until I 'pay off' the bank president! Do you believe this bullshit?
I asked her how much, and am waiting for her to get back to me. Don't worry, I didn't mention your name. And hold off on the lawyer still - I'm not leaving the mound yet.
Sincerely,
Pedro Martinez
Just in case I forgot about him, Simon encourages me to pay the bank woman, whom he apparently works with at the Union Bank!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! sorry... the excitement got to me
Simon David
Date: Aug 12, 2005
Dear Pedro Martinez,
How are you today?
Please try and ask her the amount you are going to send to him so that the funds can be transferred to your account,And please try and make sure that you send them the money so that the Document can get to you, all what the bank are telling you is trun so belive them okay.
I will be happy if you can pay the money today so that the Document can get to you by tomorrow or next and as soon as you get you sign it and send it back to them so that you will be able to get this funds into your account.
Thank you,
Dr.Simon David.
P.S I will be waiting for your respond.
I hurt Angela's feelings. Maybe old Pedro should try to be nice. In fact, maybe all Angela's rudeness pushed the right buttons...
Ms. Angela Dike
Date: Aug 12, 2005
Subject: INTERNATIONAL REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT
Dear Mr.Pedro Martinez,
How are you today and your family,
You call me a rude woman i am not you know the bank have to take care of the Funds to get to your account,so please i am taking the laws of the bank.
All the money and for the Documentation and the for the Court that will sign this Document and For the DHL here in Nigeria to get this Document you is $2,360USD so please try and send the money today so that by we can send the Document to you by tomorrow and by monday you send it back to us then your funds will be transferred.
Thank you,
Mrs.Angela Dike.
Pedro Martinez
Date: Aug 12, 2005 Dr. Angela-
I am sorry for calling you rude, however you were upsetting me tremendously and when I get my game face on I throw the high heat.
I will send the money right away, but I need more of a breakdown of the price (for my accountant to write off.) For example, I can't just tell him that I spent $2360 on 'DHL' or 'Court'. Could you break it down exactly for me, and then I will send the money so you can get this document to me.
On a side note, I really like your fire! You are a fiery woman, Ms Dike. Maybe you could send me a picture? I have enclosed one of myself (it's about a year old right now, but still accurate.)
Yours,
Pedro
Again, I enclosed the photo from the Red Sox press conference.
Time to try the sexual angle. Play a woman for me , Mr. 419 Scammer!
Pedro Martinez
Date: Aug 12, 2005
Dear Dr. Simon David:
I have gotten a total from Ms. Angela Dike of $2360 USD. We are working out the payment details right now.
Have you ever met this woman? She sounds wonderful. We got off on the wrong foot but it's never too late for a late-inning rally, if you know what I mean. I think she might like if I threw her the high hard one, you know, high and inside. Some real 'chin music'!
Tell me, is she as beautiful as she sounds?
Your friend,
Pedro
Simon doesn't want me thinking about Angela as a sex object. Maybe because she's a guy.
Simon David
Date: Aug 12, 2005
Subject: TRY AND SEND THEM THE MONEY.
Dear Pedro Martinez,
How are you today and your family?
Please try and send the money to them so that this Funds can be transferred to your account,i will like to tell you that it is not time now we talk about Mrs.angela all i know is that we work in same bank so please just forget about it okay.
Try and send the money to them so that they can send you the Document.
Dr.Simon David.
Ah, the Mets... It's funny to me how much money they spend and never make the playoffs. And yes I'm still bitter about 1986... for the record, it wasn't Buckner's fault.
Pedro Martinez
Date: Aug 12, 2005
Dr. Simon:
Of course I am going to send the money to the bank; I'm just waiting for an itemized list from Ms Angela. Simon, you need to relax a little - sit under the mango tree and enjoy the sun.
If you work at the same bank, then you must pass her in the halls or in the lunchroom... is she hot? She sounds it from her emails.
Since it is extremely likely that my October will be free, I will be free to travel for almost 6 months. (I never show up to Florida on time in the spring anyway!)
Back to business though - Simon, you say I need to send the money quickly to get the Document. Ms. Dike told me I could send the money whenever I got it. So I don't think we need to worry! I'm feeling good right now - facing my old organization in L.A. this week. No worries! (Could we have a no-hitter in our future???)
Your Friend-
Pedro
Ms. Angela Dike
Date: Aug 12, 2005
Subject: WE ARE SORRY THE MONEY CAN NOT BE BRING DOWN
Dear Mr.Pedro Martinez,
I am sorry Sir,
The money can not be bring down,that is all the money the Court,union bank Governor and the DHL need so please if you have the money you can go and send it so that your funds can be transfer to you.
I am happy that you called me a nice woman but for now my picture can not be send to you okay.
Thank you,if you have the money you should go and send it to the information that i giveto you.
Mrs.Angela Dike.
I had to read this twice to understand what she was trying to say. I'm also shocked to learn that Nigerian banks are run by Governors. No wonder they need to be payed off. Also, I'm sad that Angela doesn't share Pedro's feelings. Probably because she is a guy.
Pedro Martinez
Date: Aug 12, 2005
Dear Ms. Angela Dike:
I'm not sure what you mean by 'the money can not be bring down' but I'm sure you are misunderstanding me. (Don't worry - I grew up in the Dominican Republic, so in the early years I didn't speak English too well either.)
What my accountant requires is that you 'itemize' the costs. For example, I could either say I spent $450 on groceries, or I could say I spent $200 on eggs and mangú, $150 on La Bandera, and $100 on sofrito. That would be 'itemized'.
So I need you to 'itemize' the money you want me to send to you. Otherwise I will have IRS problems up the four-hole...
What do you say we get together in October and you can play with my fungo bat? We can play some pepper! Angela, you MUST send me a picture! I'm like a hanging fastball without it.
Yours,
Pedro
Yes, I did web research on typical Dominican cuisine. I am a nerd.
I think Simon David and his woman are catching on.
Pedro Martinez
Date: Aug 15, 2005
Dr Simon:
I'm a little worried - I haven't heard from the bank in a few days. I realize that it was the weekend but I'm all warmed up and ready to bring the high heat.
Perhaps Mrs. Angela Dike is not serious about this transaction?
-Pedro
Pedro Martinez
Date: Aug 15, 2005
Dear Dr. Simon David:
Now I am getting extremely disappointed... we are talking about a lot of money here and it seems that you have left me hanging high and inside. Are you serious about this transaction? I'm ready to send money to the bank - all I want is a professional itemized list of the costs, and we can make the transfer!
Why have you abandoned me?
- Pedro Martinez
Pedro Martinez
Date: Aug 15, 2005
Dear Mrs Angela Dike:
Why have you abandoned me? I am ready to send the money to your bank officer; all I want is a little information ($2300 is a lot of money, ok?) I don't think it's unprofessional for me to ask for this information.
Perhaps you aren't serious about this transaction!
-Pedro Martinez
3 Time Cy Young Winner
I was right. But he's too greedy to write off this possible score yet. Also, Simon wants to let me know that Angela won't talk to Pedro until he sends the money.
Simon David
Date: Aug 15, 2005 Subject: TRY AND SEND THEM THE MONEY.
Dear Brother,
You know that i am not what you think, i have been thinking that you do not want to help me that is why i did not want to respond to your mail.
So please try and send the money to the bank not me okay,Mrs.Angela called a meeting today that the Late Lee Wong family has come to Claim there Uncles funds that she told them to send money for the Document to be transfer to them so that they can sign it,and when i heard it i was so happy so please i will like you to send the money to them for God sake i know that as soon as this is transfer to your then you can now remove the money from it before shaering the money.
Try and understand her she will not talk to you untill you send the money to her,i know her more than you do.
Thank you, Dr.Simon David.
Pedro Martinez
Date: Aug 15, 2005
Dear Brother,
I really want to help you with this! Don't think for a second that I don't want to. I think over the past few weeks we have really gotten to know each other as teammates!
You probably think that because I haven't sent the money yet, that I am not going to... this is just not true! But you need to understand that $2300 is not a small amount of money, and if your Bank can't itemize it for me, then I can't have any confidence.
I have done everything you have asked of me - why can't you do this for me? I just don't understand...
This is all very frustrating and I want to move forward.
-Pedro
Simon is on his way out. He can't even be bothered to write Pedro's name.
Simon David
Date: Aug 15, 2005
Dear ,
If you know that the money is too mush then tell her the amount that you can send to her so that she can send the Document to you okay.
I'll give him some crap but Pedro is getting tired of this pair.
Pedro Martinez
Date: Aug 15, 2005
Dear Dr. Simon David
First of all, I am willing to pay the full amount - I just want the bank to be professional and give me an ITEMIZED COST LIST. It's the least to ask if I'm going to mail a check for $2360!!
Second, what is with that greeting???? Did you forget my name??? Dr Simon, I thought we were becoming friends. That hurts when you forget my name. Last person who forgot my name got some chin music... they remembered really quickly.
I'll try Mrs. Angela Dike one more time... this whole thing is killing my confidence though.
Your friend,
Pedro
Pedro Martinez
Date: Aug 15, 2005
Dear Mrs. Angela Dike:
I am going to try this one more time.
You need to do the following: ITEMIZE THE BILL
Then I will do the following: SEND THE MONEY
Jesus Christo, is it that hard??
-Pedro
Holy COW! An actual attempt at itemizing the costs! I got this lazy shitbag to do some work! And they want $2360 from ME??? I have put in WAY more effort than this sad sack.
Ms. Angela Dike
Date: Aug 15, 2005
Subject: IF YOU LIKE YOU SEND THE MONEY BUT IF YOU DID NOT THIS WILL BE OUR LAST MAIL SIR
Dear Mr.Pedro,
This is the List you said you want me to send to your because i have told all our staffs in the meeting yesterday that if you do not send the money your funds will not be transfer or the document will not be sending to you.
This is the list you need.
The lawyer said they need:$1,400USD for them to give us some of the document with them and the once they will sign on.
The Union Bank Governor said that before your funds can be transfer you need to reactivet your Late Cousins account and that will cost you:$900USD for that and the rest $60USD will be pay to the DHL here in NIgeria for them to deliver your document for you.
I am not sure that you are ready to send the money but if you are send it to the information we gave to you so that all this can go through and let us forget about this transaction and transfer your funds.
But if you are now your funds will not be transfer and then you will not hear from me again or sending mails to you again you that sent an Application to this Email address you did not know that this transaction is real?why are you asking me if this is real please and please do not ask me that question again,you know the tapy woman i am so please you can keep that questions to your self.
As soon as you get this mail if you do not send the money then you will not hear from me again.
Thank you,
Mrs.Angela Dike.
Goodbye Simon. Goodbye Angela. Thanks for the Whining, the Exclamation Points, the Okays, and the Belligerent Demands.
Pedro Martinez
To: UNIONBANKOFNIGERIAPLC_1@hotmail.com, simondavid20005@inbox.lv
Date: Aug 16, 2005
Dear Mrs. Angela Dike and Dr. Simon David:
You two must be the bitchiest double play combo I have ever run into. It took me about 7 emails to get a damn itemized list out of you.
Do you really get money out of people with such heavy handed tactics? I mean really... Angela Dike can hardly write in English, and your bank has a hotmail address? This shit really works? I'm amazed.
Well, it's been fun - but like every year in late summer, the season has to come to a close. Good luck in your future 419 scams; may you run into Jose Canseco in a dark alley after a nice long steroid binge.
Your friend,
Pedro Martinez