Conor O'Prolite is interrupted during a much-needed vacation on Smegaroon, by a threat from a Hired Killer. These bastards write e-mails of this type.
This tale features lovely graphics by C. O'Prolite, who once again wastes a scammer's time in fine fashion.
Note: Threatening someone on Smegaroon is akin to trying to hold up a bar full of police, soldiers, secret agents or gangsters, all of whom are known to vacation on the island and none of whom need weapons to handle the occasional problem. People are there to relax and do not take kindly to interruptions by hired assassins. While there's an unwritten rule that one doesn't whack fellow tourists (or leave candy wrappers on the ground), casino bodyguards tend to look the other way if someone intent on spoiling the good mood is dealt with. [People riding ATVs on the beach get extra harsh treatment.]
For more information about beautiful, exclusive Smegaroon and its many attractions, visit our sponsors (see links at the bottom of this tale).
Subject: YOU BETTER BE MORE CAREFUL!!!
Date: 6/5/2008 3:23:42 PM
From: assasination killer email@example.com
YOU BETTER BE MORE CAREFUL!!!
I feel very sorry for you. It is such a pity that this is how your life is going to end, that's only when you don't comply. As you can see, there is no need to introduce myself to you because I don't have anything personal with you, strictly business. I think I should tell you a little secret, I was paid to Eliminate you, and I have to do it in just 10 days. Someone you call your friend wants you Dead by all means, and the person have spent a lot of money on this, he also came to me yesterday and told me that he wants your death to suden and painful as a pay back for a beef you both had. He had given us your names, photograph and all other neccessary informations we needed about you. and I sent my boys to track you down and they have carried out a very strict investigation on you. And I can assure you, we have every information we need for the operation now.
But since my data shows that you are innocent and I could make more profit out a double deal. then I called my client back and ask for your e-mail address. And as I write to you, now, my men are monitoring you and your every step.
NOTE:- Don't even think of fucking with me, my eyes is on you. So for your own good I'd advise you co-opperate with us.
Do you want to LIVE OR DIE? Its up to you, since someone had paid me to eliminate you. Get back to me now if you are ready to do business with me. I might just spear your life.
$20,000. is all you have to spend. But first you have to pay $10,000 bucks, to us through any transfer here in Rep of Benin. then I will send a tape to you containing evidence. Then when the tape gets to you, the balance is $10,000. bucks. I won't entertain any delay in paying the balance. If you are ready to comply with my offer, there is my email address down below this paragraph.
Email me (firstname.lastname@example.org)
WARNING:- DO NOT THINK OF CONTACTING THE POLICE OR EVEN TELL ANYONE BECAUSE I WILL KNOW.REMEMBER, SOMEONE WHO KNOWS YOU VERY WELL WANT'S YOU DEAD! I WILL EXTEND IT TO YOUR FAMILY, INCASE I NOTICE SOMETHING FUNNY.
DO NOT COME OUT ONCE IT IS 7:00 PM UNTIL I MAKE OUT TIME TO SEE YOU AND GIVE YOU THE TAPE OF MY DISCUSSION WITH THE PERSON WHO WANT YOU DEAD THEN YOU CAN USE IT TO TAKE ANY LEGAL ACTION. GOOD LUCK.
Is this for real? I can't believe that any of my friends hate me, let alone enough to want me dead.
You will die soon.
Even if I pay up? I'm on holiday (as your boys will have told you). Can you wait until I get home in two weeks? I don't have that much money with me.
My boys are very angry to hear this that you have no much money like that,then how much do you have yet.
I don't take all my money and credit cards on holiday. I could manage $3000 now, and the rest when I arrive home on 1st July.
Go to Western Union and send the money today.
Receiver name ------------------OKOLO EMMANUEL
Text Question-------------How long?
We await to receive the Western Union payment informations today. Sender's name should be your name.
I'm staying on the tropical island of Smegaroon, and according to hotel reception, it has no Western Union. Hard to believe, but your boys will be able to confirm this. Is there any other way I can pay you?
Your boys blew it! They're dead as a result of resisting arrest. See the attached newspaper cutting. I actually saw it. Nobody at the hotel is talking about anything else. Very exciting.
We shall see
See what? There are so many police around, that I feel quite safe here. I wish I hadn't sent you the $3000 now.
I found a bank that could send payments by Western Union.
go and send it through Western Union.
I did, yesterday. Which I wouldn't have if I'd known your boys were going to be shot dead. I've already told you this.
The bank didn't seem to know much about Western Union. Not much call for it apparently.
I don't take a scanner on holiday of course, so I used my digital camera to photograph the receipt. See the attachment.
WHERE IS THE MTCN NUMBERS
No idea. The Bank didn't mention them, and as I've not used Western Union before, I didn't know I should have been given them.
I'll go back tomorrow morning and ask.
Sorry. Hotel reception has just told me that all the banks are closed today due to a religious holiday, St Smegar's Day (the Island's patron saint).
I'll go first thing tomorrow.
There was a bit about it in the local paper.
I've just been to the bank and after shouting at them for a while, they admitted that they hadn't done anything with my $3000. It seems that I'm the first person on the Island ever to have asked to make a Western Union payment.So they didn't know what to do. Smegaroon caters mainly to the rich and famous who wouldn't be seen dead paying anyone that way.
The bank suggested a bank transfer as they do them all the time. As do I of course. Can you let me have your bank details?
[More to come?]
FOR THE DISCERNING SPY
BOOK YOUR GETAWAY NOW!
BANK OF SMEGAROON
WHERE THE SAVVY
STASH THEIR CASH