"I DON'T LIKE IT, I DON'T LIKE IT"


Another stranded orphan with another trunk box stuffed with cash needs my help...
This bait features numerous phone calls made by Lads at their expense... and bad language on my part (Mal doesn't hold back)

The Scammers

Part 1
, "a citizen of Ghana from Kumasi... 69years of age"
AKPE MUDIAGA, Western Union identity

Part 2
JEFF MAMUD, a stranded orphan with only eight million dollars between him and total poverty; ends up as a complete whiner
ABRAHAM OVIE, the short-tempered personal assistant to Jeff Mamud's father; catch-phrase is "I don't like it"; he ends up delivering a frenzied anti-drug rant
FERNANDO ROMAN, a "US Customs Official", whose cod-American accent was worse than mine
GARY McCLELLAND, another "US Customs official"

The Baiter (both parts)
MALCOLM REYNOLDS, a retired US Marine living in Australia


Part 1: As a God fearing person I cannot take what does not belong to me

Meet Reverend Joe Paul, who happily handles and stores away money he thinks to be stolen, and has a "security warehouse" in his compound - something more suited to a cult leader. Another thing that puzzles greatly is a scanning machine that not only detects money, but what denomination said money is. And despite what he said, nothing was attached.


REVEREND JOE PAUL

4 March 2012

Dear Mr.Malcolm Reynolds
May the peace of our lord Jesus Christ be with you, my names is Rev. Father Joe Paul; I am a citizen of Ghana from Kumasi, I am 69years of age. I have a big farm yard at the back of the Kotoka International Airport in Accra Ghana in West Africa. I also take cares of refugees here in my compound. I saw one metallic sealed trunk box in my farm yard on Friday and there was a tag place on it bearing your name and your phone number as the owner of this box. As a God fearing person I cannot take what does not belong to me, and that his why I am contacting you, that i find your box in my farm yard. And I think someone have stolen it from the airport and hide it there. And i cannot take the box to my house without knowing what the box contain so i have to take it for a scanning and only for me to discovered that the box contain foreign currency and this is the attach copy of the box and the scan copy of the box. I have taking it to my security warehouse in my compound it's in a safe place now for you. I also contact a diamond security company if they can get the box open and they told me that they can open the box but it we cost me money and i told them that let me contact the owner of the box because am not the owner of the box. According to the engineer who scans the box told me that the money inside the box is clean and spend able and is also a huge amount of money inside. Please i really want to know from you what i should do about it, because it is sealed. Please advice on what to do. Because the box is metallic sealed and the box contain the sum of 12million usd cleanand spendable money, In responds to your mail received,I have successfully open the box and it contain the sum of 12,000,000.00usd,I just deposited with the United Bank for Africa(UBA)Limited Accra Ghana,I will advice you to contact the Bank immediately for the transfer to your Bank account without any delay,sir below is the Bank information.
Bank Email:ubagh@consultant.com
Bank Tel:+233 302 713 283
Mobile No:+233 242 523 125 contact person:Dr.Nnamdi Okonkwo
Position:Managing Director
I wait to hear from you as soon as you receive this mail. Best regards.
Rev.Father Joe Paul
Roman Catholic Church
+233241523451

So he claims to have my number, huh? I wonder whose it is.


Malcolm Reynolds

Mr Paul,
I have no idea why any box of cash would have my name and number on it. Call me and explain just what happened.
Malcolm Reynolds


REVEREND JOE PAUL

7 March 2012

Dear Sir
may the peace of our lord jesus christ be with you and your happy
like i have explain to you ,your telephone contact was tag the box as the rightful beneficiary who the funds belong to Sir i cant take what do not rightful belong to me that is why i have contact you that i have already deposited the funds with United Bank For Africa UBA total sum of $12million usd Sir i want you to Kindly contact the bank for your transfer very important they are waiting to hear from you to enable them proceed with the immediate transfer
Awaiting to hear from you as soon as possible today
God Bless You
Rev.Father Joe Paul
Roman Catholic Church


Malcolm Reynolds

Mr Paul,
Why didn't you call me?
Malcolm Reynolds
Malcolm Reynolds

Mr Paul,
The money in that box has me baffled as I don't know how it could be mine, and the gorram IRS would be all over me like a rash if I suddenly received millions from nowhere.
There are probably more certain ways to be locked up in a Federal pen, but damned if I know what they are.
Malcolm Reynolds


Days pass.
Seems to be time for a call...

http://www.4shared.com/mp3/nOfmobQz/01_2012-03-11_time_2140_11_Mar.html

Highlights include criminals chasing him to the bank and shooting at him, the earnest protestations that he can't take what isn't his... and the silence when I queried the phone number he had.
The classic Lad repetition tactic is in evidence ("Your name and telephone number was attached to it... attached to it... It is a consignment box... it is a consignment box... twelve million... twelve million"); likewise the ever-present "listen to me".


REVEREND JOE PAUL

12 March 2012 Dear Sir
may the peace of our lord be with you i have receive your email Sir if you contact the united bank for Africa you have to instruct them on how you want to receive your funds Sir
i want you to put an email across to them by tomorrow monday very important Sir once again thank you very much for your call Sir if you know your bank account can not receive all the funds once then keep the bank informed so that the funds can be transfer to your bank Account in Australia bit by bit
Awaiting to hear from you as soon as possible
God bless you
Rev.Father Joe Paul
Roman Catholic Church
+233241523451.


Malcolm Reynolds

Mr Paul,
I suggest that you read my earlier email and address the points that I raised.
Nothing happens unless you do.
Malcolm Reynolds

Two weeks pass and formatting is forgotten.
He hasn't even said what the money's needed for...


REVEREND JOE PAUL

27 March 2012

i want you to send the delivery charges today to the recievers name of my church secretary , RECEIVERS NAME ,AKPE MUDIAGA,AMOUNT..............................................$2,500USD,ADDRESS ACCRA GHANA. you have to send the money through western union money transfer


Next day I get a chat invite from the Reverend, and I promptly accepted, because yahoo chats can be fun!

28 March 2012

Lad:   hello good morning sir how are you ?
Mal:   It's evening.
Lad:   ok do you receive my massage
Mal:   No, and I wouldn't have wanted one from you anyway. I'm a guy, you see.
Lad:   i have make an arriagement with the united nation diplomat who will delivery your box to you in australia
Mal:   There was something about sending $2500. You didn't tell me why.
Lad:   sir it is the delivery charges
Mal:   That's no information at all.
Lad:   what do you mean?
Mal:   Delivery charges... that's for when you order a gorram pizza!
Lad:   but you know that you consignment box is with me
Mal:   No I don't.
Lad:   that is what i am tell you all you have to do is to pay for the delivery charges then the diplomat can dispatch
Lad:   to your country australia successfully
Mal:   So a diplomat can bring over pizzas?
Lad:   and the box will be delivery to your direct home address ok
Mal:   And FYI Australia is not my country. I just live here.
Lad:   ok
Mal:   Where are you?
Lad:   i am in my office in the roman catholic church
Mal:   In Ghana?
Lad:   yes
Mal:   That's the odd thing. The Morrihan estate is in a bank. Why would you have it?
Lad:   you know me very well i have call you a time with out number and you have call me too so stop talking like you dont know me
Mal:   We spoke?
Lad:   i dont want any thing to happend to the funds and you are not acting serious to receive the fund from the bank that is why ok
Mal:   How can I be serious when you tell me that someone dumped a box of cash in your back garden? Get real, Bubba-Louie.
Lad:   listern to me i want to know from you
Lad:   are you ready to receive the box ?
Lad:   i am a very busy person ok
Mal:   Brad's funds are in a bank. You said you'd found money at the bottom of your garden, presumably with the fairies.
Mal:   "I saw one metallic sealed trunk box in my farm yard on Friday and there was a tag place on it bearing your name and your phone number as the owner of this box. As a God fearing person I cannot take what does not belong to me, and that his why I am contacting you, that i find your box in my farm yard."
Lad:   this the massage i send to you ok i still know my massage ok
Mal:   You expect me to not laugh? Twelve million dollars just happens to be mine for no reason?
Lad:   ok you are not ready i will stop chating .
Mal:   Go back to sodomising your altar boys.
Lad:   if you are not a serious person why will i be chating with you?
Lad:   good bye you will never hear from me again ok

Well, that's the last of Revjoe Paul... directly anyway.
But over a year later, he's part of another Lad's attempt...


Part 2: Stop it! Stop it! STOP IT!


Jeff Mamud

4 July 2013

Good day Sir,

this is Jeff Mamud, i called you on phone by Monday the 15th of April and i told you about my trunk box which contain 2million usd at John F Kennedy Airport New York under the custody of the US Custom and Border Protections, they request that the money must be declared with the US Treasury bonds before my trunk box can be released to me, i told you my situation on phone but you insisted i must explain to you properly on email, that same evening i was rubbed and short in the right side of my shoulder and since then i have been in the hospital responding to treatment.
To answer your question about who i am and how i got your contact, I am a Son of Mr Mamud Kenneth a famous businessman who deal on Gold around Europe and America, he died during an operation in New York.
I got your mobile contact on Sunday 14th of April at about 12noon immediately after church programme at Saint Ann Catholic church from reverend father Joe Paul when i explained my situation to him, he gave me his word that i can trust you.
Regards
Jeff Mamud.

I'll let Mal explain exactly what's wrong with that.


Malcolm Reynolds

Mr Mamud
I don't have a cell phone and I never have owned a cell phone.
I don't recall speaking to you either.
I do recall Reverend Joe Paul, but he told me he never wanted to hear from me again, so that bit about him is somewhat confusing.
That's about it.
Malcolm Reynolds


Jeff Mamud

4 July 2013

Sir, is good to hear from you again after a short while but sincerely you do not respond like someone who is caring i said that because you never talked about my health even when i told you that i have been in the hospital since April but never mine.
Well the main reason why i am writing you this message is know from you how you fill about the condition of my trunk box which is presently with the US Custom who are demanding for the fee of $10,850usd to declare the 2million usd in my trunk box with the US Custom and treasury bonds and the immediately the package will be released and a diplomat will immediately be assigned to deliver it to you in your destination.
In my conversation with the custom officer today be told me that it is in my best interest for the funds to be registered with the US Treasury because if any risk or problems occur before the funds get to me i can sue the US Custom.
Please help me pay the bill for the package to delivered to you and then you make arrangement to come to you in your country and settle down.
I which to hear good news from you with positive responds because there is know time presently.
Regards
Jeff Mamud.

What a whiner... why should I have cared about his health?
At this stage, I had no idea who he was.


Malcolm Reynolds

Mr Mamud
My response was one of surprise because (a) you claim to have my cell phone number (but I don't have a cell phone), (b) that we talked (but we didn't) and (c) that I was recommended to you as someone to be trusted by Rev Joe Paul (whose last words to me were "good bye you will never hear from me again ok").
The issue now is why I should help you in any way.
I want a full explanation - and make it good.
Malcolm Reynolds


Jeff Mamud

5 July 2013

Good Morning Sir,
Good question, thanks Mr Reynolds for that reasonable question, please understand me very well as i give you reasons, first because i was on my trip to Africa i told you that i was short in right chest and i spent all my physical cash on me during my treatment and my father also died while i am in the hospital responding treatment from April till now.
Sir i promise to give you the Code to the box as soon as the US delivery Agent gets to you in your country so that you can 10% of the $2million in the box so that you can send me some money from the box so that i can come and join you in your country, Africa is bad, i don't want anything i have to come to African and i don't want to stay any longer header.
I will give the Custom number to contact them as soon as we agree on this very well, this is the number i used to call you in April, i don't know if it is mobile or landlines. +61280064317 and this is the number i used to call you +233277464479.
Please help me fast on this so that i can put myself together again, go for for late Fathers Beria ceremony and move in life.
I am waiting to hear from you with good news in your responds.
Regards,
Jeff Mamud.


As it happened, I had briefly communicated with the Lad, mainly via phone, on 16 April, but it left no impression.
Sadly, the emails have been lost.

Flashback to 16 April...
http://www.4shared.com/mp3/N141HAuU/01_2013-04-16_time_21_10_45_Ma.html
http://www.4shared.com/mp3/PjRWahd2/02_2013-04-16_time_21_18_41_Ma.html
http://www.4shared.com/mp3/2Rw13r0J/03_2013-04-16_time_21_31_12_Ma.html
http://www.4shared.com/mp3/89iZAUJS/04_2013-04-16_time_22_48_37_Ma.html


You'll agree that he's a pushy, self-pitying jerkwad, and that's being kind.
Well, I may as well call and find out what's happened to the little whiner since then.

http://www.4shared.com/mp3/99rzQrmwba/05_2013-07-05_time_20_31_33_Ma.html

Something to note; Jeff referred to a Diplomat in the call... but now the man in Britain had become a mere PA.


Jeff Mamud

6 July 2013

Good Morning Sir,
This is the contact of my Late Fathers Assistance who came with him from London to John F Kennedy Airport with the Trunk Box containing 2million usd.
Please call him and tell him that i ask you to call him in regards to the funds declaration in the United States.
His Mobile Number: +4479xxxxxxxx
His Name is Mr Abraham Ovie
Regards,
Jeff Mamud.


Well, a UK redirect... no way I'm going to call that number. If the Lads want to talk to me, they can pay for the privilege.

http://www.4shared.com/mp3/kDB90tL4ba/06_2013-07-07_time_00_58_40_Ma.html


Jeff Mamud

8 July 2013

Good day Sir,
I saw your missed call today while i am still in the Church, i couldn't call back because i was not having call credit on my phone.
I have sent your contact details to my Late Fathers Assistance Mr Abraham Ovie in UK, both your email and your contact number.
I will be waiting for your call tomorrow or a responds to my email so that i can aware of your discussion with him
Regards,
Jeff Mamud.

http://www.4shared.com/mp3/237w2Rl5ce/07_2013-07-11_time_22_16_36_Ma.html

http://www.4shared.com/mp3/v2bCo9mpba/08_2013-07-12_time_21_11_07_Ma.html


Malcolm Reynolds

Mr Mamud
He has not made any attempt to contact me. I won't be calling you about any discussions until there actually are discussions to, well, discuss.
Malcolm Reynolds


http://www.4shared.com/mp3/uX0UwPIB/05_2013-07-13_Ovie_to_Mal.html

http://www.4shared.com/mp3/r4kPmkbP/08_2013-07-13_time_19_15_42_Ma.html


And finally Ovie writes to Mal... He's right onto the money, too.
Lad personae are always bad money managers.


Abraham Ovie

15 July 2013

Hello Mr. Reynolds
Jeff called me that you request an email from me, in respect of getting his inherited consignment out of the custom, and for us to embark on it i must have to fly to United States first where the stuff is before anything can be done. Therefore, I want to advise you to cooperate and follow Jeff's instructions to move the Money to your destination as chosen trustee as soon as it is released to me in the United States but the question now is, are you ready to finance the release of his stuff? This is because we need to pay the sum of $10,850USD to the US Treasury Bonds before the stuff will be release to me. For us to proceed with this assignment you will be require to send the sum of 500GBP for my flight ticket to the US because I am financially down at the moment. Gent if you ready you can send the money to my name (Abraham Ovie) via Western Union or Money Gram to United Kingdom. Once this is done I will quickly fly to the US and when I get there I will give you a call to send the $10,850USD to clear the stuff from US Treasury Bonds then commence delivery to you in Australia.
Thank you and I look forward to hear from you
Regards
Mr. Abraham Ovie

Time for something that should push his buttons - "poor" is the worst insult in the Lad lexicon, apparently.


Malcolm Reynolds

Mr Ovie
If you're so poor that you need to beg 500 pounds then you clearly can't be trusted.
You can have no part in this matter as you would steal Mr Mamud's money, given the chance.
Malcolm Reynolds


Jeff hurries to Ovie's defence - but makes a poor effort of it.

Jeff Mamud

17 July 2013 Good Morning Sir,
In regards to your message, I called Mr Ovie yesterday and i told him what you said about the money he requested for his ticket but he told me plainly that to pay for his own flight ticket is not a problem but the reason why he ask you to pay for his flight ticket to the United States is that he wants to be sure that you will pay for the declaration of the Funds when he arrives United States because he does want to depart to the US and be abandoned there for any reasons.
Sir,Mr Ovie is not happy with the word you used on him that he is poor and will Steal my money, Sir Mr Ovie has been working with my father for so many years and i have always known him to be a good man
Sir please advise him and give him the confidence that you will pay the requested feel as soon as he arrives the States so depart and get funds out this week.
Regards,
Jeff Mamud.
Malcolm Reynolds

Mr Mamud
OK, so Ovie isn't poor; he's just a total bonehead. I guess that's OK then!
So when is he going?
Malcolm Reynolds


Jeff Mamud

19 July 2013

Good day Sir,
He will be going when ever you instructed him to
Regards,
Jeff Mamud


Malcolm Reynolds

Mr Mamud
He can go whenever he gorram well pleases!
Malcolm Reynolds


Ovie makes two calls... and he is one prickly individual.
We also see here the Lad's poor judge of finances.

http://www.4shared.com/mp3/LjYp43ke/09_2013-07-20_Ovie_to_Mal.html

http://www.4shared.com/mp3/BZUs5IB0/10_2013-07-20_Ovie_to_Mal_part.html


Malcolm Reynolds

I just heard from Ovie.
That man is a deadbeat!


What follows is a series of calls from Ovie that involve a shocking Lad impersonation of an American customs official.

http://www.4shared.com/mp3/Tyla0kn1/2013-07-23_Incoming_Call_Ovie_.html

http://www.4shared.com/mp3/TIs0Cmkp/2013-07-23_Incoming_Call_Ovie_.html

http://www.4shared.com/mp3/7DvFj9uA/2013-07-23_Incoming_Call_Ovie_.html

http://www.4shared.com/mp3/ZLyE5TuM/2013-07-23_Incoming_Call_Ovie_.html


The Lads change tack and involve another persona - this time from Border Security. This will not help them at all.

Gary McClelland

24 July 2013

Attention: Mr. Malcolm Raynolds
Phone: 61-xxx-xxx-xxx
Email: xxxxx@xxxxxxxx.com
I am sorry i missed your calls, i was in a meeting with the Homeland Security Concerning the release of your Consignment box.
Payments can be made directly to the Cashier of the U.S. Customs and Border Protections with the following Bank Account Details.
Account Name: <Name of another possible fraud victim anonymized>
Account Number: xxxxxxxxxx
Bank Name: xxxxxxx Bank
Bank Address: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx, Forth Lauderdale
Florida, 33309 USA
Routing Number: xxxxxxxxxx
Payment Confirmation Slip should be scanned and emailed back to me for Official Confirmation of your payment.
Yours in Service.
Gary McClelland
U.S. Customs and Border Protection
Deferred Inspections Unit
John F. Kennedy International Airport
Bldg #: 77, Port Code: 4701
Jamaica, NY 11430
Phone: 700-119-2044, 631-623-2145
Fax: 206-600-4698
Email: inspectionapprovaldpt@cbp.us.ms
Website: www.cbp.gov


If Homeland Security is involved, then anyone would be concerned, right? And Mal is very concerned to be risking trouble with the Feds!

Malcolm Reynolds

Mr McClelland
Why would Homeland Security be concerned in this matter?
Why wasn't this mentioned before?
Malcolm Reynolds


"Gary McClellan" blunders badly by saying that "your case is a matter of National Security"; such a mistake is gift.

Gary McClelland

25 July 2013

Attention: Mr. Malcolm Raynolds
That is because your case is a matter of National Security which involves a huge sum of amount in cash and in cases like that normally the Homeland Security always comes in before the final release of the Funds, however that would not disturb or obstruct the release of your Funds as soon as we receive your Payment Confirmation.
Yours in Service.
Gary McClelland
U.S. Customs and Border Protection
Deferred Inspections Unit
John F. Kennedy International Airport
Bldg #: 77, Port Code: 4701
Jamaica, NY 11430
Phone: 700-119-2044, 631-623-2145
Fax: 206-600-4698
Email: inspectionapprovaldpt@cbp.us.ms
Website: www.cbp.gov


Mal is justifiably worried by McClelland's assurances. Well, he has a good reason; the Patriot Act has a grim reputation.
The Orphan tries to recoup...

http://www.4shared.com/mp3/rz_8cmPi/2013-07-25_Mal_to_Jeff_with_ba.html

http://www.4shared.com/mp3/pgZPFeZp/2013-07-25_Ovie_to_Mal_-_roost.html

...but Mal hates snivellers.


Malcolm Reynolds

Mr McClelland
I deny all connection with this matter. Abraham Ovie is very likely part of a criminal conspiracy in which I was to be the fall guy.
Malcolm Reynolds


The Orphan fails badly, and Ovie falls apart in spectacular fashion!

http://www.4shared.com/mp3/RU5kfxB5/2013-07-26_Mal_to_Jeff_more_ba.html

http://www.4shared.com/mp3/HVIo5-c2/2013-07-29_Ovie_to_Mal_-_drugs.html

Here endeth the bait.


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