ALIU SAY IS A LIE

updated december 19

...Starring (in order of appearance):

DR ALIU AHMED - scammer

JIM GATES mutant-kangaroo hunter


Jim Gates is still looking for a Lad who will help him finish the Fence.

Background information on a little-known American nightmare: when the well-meaning citizens of Nippising, West Dakota imported kangaroos from their sister city in Australia, they unleashed a plague. The kangaroos multiplied like kangaroos, headed west to Utah and Nevada, settled down near old nuclear test sites, and mutated into giant killer beasts. Now they roam the highways in packs, striking fear into the average American.

George W. Bush's biggest domestic project, No Roo Left Inside, entails the construction of a long Fence, from the Mexican to Canadian borders, to keep all the Roos on the west side. (It's too late to save the people on that side.) Jim Gates (our Kindly Contributor) is responsible for the portion of the Fence passing through Nippising. He's underfunded, his troops are increasingly resentful, and the Roos are becoming smarter by the day.

OK you got all that? Will the Lads believe it? We half-believe it ourselves!

DR ALIU AHMED

Received: from unknown (HELO helimore1504.com) (212.52.154.147)
From: "DR ALIU AHMED" <aliu_ahmed09@hotmail.com<
Reply-To: aliu_ahmed_1@post.cz
Date: Thu, 2 Dec 2004
Subject: URGENT REPLY NEEDED

FROM THE DESK O F DR ALIU AHMED
CREDIT AND EXCHANGE MANAGER OF
BANK OF AFRICAN (BOA)
5 AVE DE LOUDOU,
OUAGADOUGOU,
BURKINA FASO

DEAR,FRIEND.

URGENT BUSINESS PROPOSAL

FIRST I MUST SOLICIT YOUR CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION, THIS IS BY VIRTUE OF IT S NATURE AS BEING UTTERLY CONFIDENTIAL AND TOP SECRET. THOUGH I KNOW THAT A TRANSACTION OF THIS MAGNITUDE, WILL MAKE ANYONE APPREHENSIVE AND WORRIED BUT I AM ASSURING YOU THAT ALL WILL BE WELL AT THE END OF THE DEAL. WE HAVE DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU DUE TO URGENCY OF THIS TRANSACTION, AS WE HAVE BEEN RELIABLY INFORMED BY CHAMBERS OF COMMERCE AND INDUSTRY HERE IN BUKINA FASO.

OF YOUR DISCREETNESS AND ABILITY IN BUSINESS OF ITS NATURE. LET ME START BY INTRODUCING MYSELF PROPERLY TO YOU. I AM DR ALIU AHMED THE CREDIT OFFICER WITH THE BANK OF AFRICA I CAME TO KNOW YOU IN MY PRIVATE SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO HANDLE THIS CONFIDENTIAL TRANSACTION, WHICH INVOLVES THE TRANSFER OF HUGE SUM OF MONEY TO A FOREIGN COUNTRY REQUIRING MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE.
THE PROPOSITION AS A FOREIGNER, LATE ENGR. JOHNCREEK(Snr)IS AN OIL MERCHANT WITH THE FEDERAL GOVERNMENTOF KUWAIT UNTIL HIS DEATH IN KENYA AIR BUS (A310-30)FLIGHT Ko430 THAT CRASHED, BANKED WITH US AT BANK OF AFRICA(BOA) BURKINA FASO AND HAD CLOSING BALANCE AS AT THE END OF SEPTEMBER 2000 WORTH OF (18.5M) EIGHTEEN MILLION FIVE HOUNDRED THOUSAND UNITEDSTATES DOLLARS).

THE BANK NOW EXPECTS A NEXT OF KIN AS BENEFICIARY AS VALUABLE EFFORTS HAVE BEEN MADE BY BANK OF AFRICA TO GET IN TOUCH WITH ANY OF CREEK SFAMILY OR ELECTIVES BUT TO NO SUCCESS. IT IS BECAUSE OF THE PERCEIVED POSSIBILITY OF NOT BEING ABLE TO LOCATE ANY OF LATE ENGR. JOHN CREEK (Snr s)NEXT OF KIN ( HE HAD NO WIFE OR CHILDREN THAT IS KNOWN TO US). THE MANAGEMENT UNDER THE INFLUENCE OF OUR CHAIRMAN AND MEMBERS OF BOARD OF DIRECTORS,
THAT ARRANGEMENT HAS BEEN MADE FOR THE FUND TO BE DECLARED AS UNCLAIMED BILL AND SUBSEQUENTLY TO BE DONATED TO THE TRUST FUND FOR ARMS AND AMMUNITION TO FURTHER ENHANCE COURSES OF WAR IN AFRICA AND THE WORLD IN GENERAL.

IN ORDER TO AVERT THIS NEGATIVE DEVELOPMENT, SOME OF MY TRUSTED COLLEAGUES AND I NOW SEEK YOUR PERMISSION TO HAVE YOU STAND AS NEXT OF KIN TO LATE ENGR. JOHN CREEK SO THAT THE FUND US $18.5 MILLION WILL BE RELEASED AND PAID TO YOU AS THE BENEFICIARY OR NEXT OF KIN. ALL DOCUMENTS AND PROVES TO ENABLE YOU GET THIS FUND WILL BE CAREFULLY WORKED OUT ON YOUR ACCEPTANCE TO PARTAKE IN THIS TRANSACTION.

WE HAVE SECURED FROM PROBATE AN ORDER OF MANDAMUS TO LOCATE ANY OF THE DECLARED BENEFICIARY S OR (NEXT OF KIN) AND MORE SO WE ARE ASSURING YOU THAT THIS BUSINESS IS 100% RISK FREE INVOLVEMENT. YOUR SHARE STAYS WHILE AND REST OF THE MONEY BE FOR MYSELF AND COLLEAGUES FOR INVESTMENT PURPOSES IN YOUR COUNTRY UNDER YOUR GUIDANCE, ACCORDING TO AGREEMENT REACHED BY BOTH PARTIES. MEANWHILE YOUR PERCENTAGE SHARE SHALL BE 15% .AS SOON AS WE ACKNOWLEDGE RECEIPT OF YOUR ACCEPTANCE OF THIS BUSINESS PROPOSAL THROUGH THE ABOVE PRIVATE TELEPHONE LINE, WE WOULD FURNISH YOU WITH NECESSARY STEPS TO TAKE BEGINNING WITH THE TEXT OF APPLICATION WHICH YOU SHALL FORWARD TO THE BANK FOR SCRUTINY AND APPROVAL. AND PLEASE IF THIS IS ACCEPTABLE BY YOU, DO NOT MAKE UNDUE OF THE TRUST WE HAVE BEST OWNED IN YOU.

BEST REGARDS,
DR ALIU AHMED

[The Johnson Creek / John Creek / John Creeks / Juan Johnson Creek letter is creaking with age, can't they at least come up with a new name? ]


JIM GATES

Dear Dr. Ahmed,
I think this was meant for someone else. I have no relations in Kuwait and no relations named Johnson. So, thanks for your offer, but I think you will have to keep looking.

Walk Safe Roads
J. Gates, 3rd Civilian Company


DR ALIU AHMED

Subject: THIS IS THE DETAILS AND WHAT TO DO
Date: Sat, 04 Dec 2004 13:34:23 +0100 (CET)
Return-Path: <aliu_ahmed_1@post.cz>
X-Originating-Ip: 212.52.154.147

DEAR Jim ,

Gooday,i got your mail,but i have to let you that i know that you can be able to headly this transaction.so go thruogh this details and and reply back to me ok. Thank you for your quick and positive response to my appeal for your noble assistance.

Also I appreciate your maturity in keeping this transaction as top secret and confidential.For your explaination, this money belongs to our deceased customer, EGNR JOHN CREEKS He was a mexico national but he nationalised here in Burkina Faso for years. He ran an import/export business enterprise and he was the major supplier of Agricultural equipment and Machineries to the West African economic And Monetary Control (WAMA )in Burkina Faso.

HE WAS ALSO AN OIL MACHERNT TO THE FEDERAL GOVERMENT OF KUWAIT He died 1999 IN KENYA AIR BUS (A310-30)FLIGHT Routing no- Ko430plane crash with his family and since then, nobody has applied to our bank for the release of this money to him/ her as the next of kin. His bank account number is as follows..boa 011976421134 with our bank.

You should understand that this money has over stayed with our bank. I have made all the necessary investigations regarding this transaction because of as our banking guidelines stipulate that after four years of any uncliamed fund it should be retrieved and reactivated to the bank treasurry as unclaimed bill its based on this manner i am solicting for your assitance help, and I am assuring you that there are no risks involved. All you have to do now is to arrange for a good recieving bank account into which our bank shall transfer this money in your favour as the next of kin. Now you are required to send to the bank your bank account number and the bank particulars eg. Name of the bank and its complete address.

please i shall send to you a text of an application which you shall re-write and fax to our Foreign Remittance directors office. for approval so that within few working days, this money shall hits your account. I am here to monitor and protect your kind intrest and all the process.

Remember to be calculating all your communication and other expenses because all shall be deducted from the percentage mapped for the expenses before our sharing.I am taking good note of my expenses as well. I hope this transaction shall conclude as soon as possible because I shall soon go on retirement and I have all my hope in this money to enjoy my retirement at time of my old age.

Please reply immediately and remember to maitain your secrecy and confidiality. I believe that as a brother you will not disappoint me when this money enters your account. I have my trust and confidence in you. Don't fail to call me on my private phone no 226-76-58-80-57 soon as you recieve this mail for more clarifications.

Be rest assured that all the arrangement to transfer this fund to the account that you are going to provide has been concluded and master-minded by us and the officials of the bank. So I want you to feel free and also to go ahead and send to us the required information for the immediate commencement of the transaction

thanks for your understanding.

Dr ALIU AHMED

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JIM GATES

Dear Dr Ahmed,

Thank you for explaining. I'm still a bit confused. I have never been to Bukina Faso.

Are you saying I can collect on someone's will (John Creek? Creeks?) in another country just because he had no heir? Can anyone just do that? How can I pretend to be his relative, isn't that illegal? I have my career to think about, and I don't like the idea of doing illegal things anyway. And if I can really collect this money, how do you know you will get any of it back? I am an honest person, but how do you know that? You don't know me.

I'm off duty now, tomorrow working on The Fence. I don't know if you've heard about what's going on here. I have unrealistic deadlines and some cash would come in handy.

Well if you think we can really do this, I can arrange a bank account. I have one, but I think I should set one up over in Nippising, to avoid questions.

So, let me know the drill.

Walk Safe Roads,
J. Gates, 3rd Civilian Company


DR ALIU AHMED

Dear Jim ,
Good day, I got your mail concerning all the question about this transaction, listen very well, you sound very trusting, ever before I think of engage you in this transaction I considered all this, one can not build trust without being on the line of any action first, because I am yet to know you better, before this transaction will get to an end as it directed by my spirit, in this case all I want you to stand as the next of kin to the deceased person, ever before I started involving you I know it is possible for one like you to stand, as far as there is no heir of the deceased.
I even considered my job first and my first family, in which I love so much if it does not involve 100% RISK FREE, I will not like to put in myself, so that I will not lose my job.
NOTE. all the information we need to proceed further in this transaction are made already so all I need is nothing but your interest towards this appealing, it is very legal so go head Arrange an account you know that can contain this fund without any problem at the end of our suffering .
Your interest in this transaction matter so much to me, I want to know more about you I am here to see to every of you need concerning this transaction,

I need to know you well in this condition if you have choosing to be partner,
(1) I don’t need any man of questionable character in this transaction. Because I want to be sure of this money, one that may seat on it, I need authentic assurance over this business.

(2) I need to know your financial status, if you will be able to handle any of this money if it get to your account,..
(3) Your personal status. Married one , man of high reputation and many more….
(4) All your contact and you profession. Are needed……

All this is needed to proof yourself to me, because the money in involve, is not small thing in this case i deserve to know you more before this fund will transfer into your account. i need to be sure of you as my choose partner.
Tax is also involve in this transaction, little expenses may arise but I don’t think it will hold this fund not transfer in to your account. Tell me more about yourself? You can call for more information in case +226 76 58 80 57
Thanks.
My regards
Dr Aliu

JIM GATES

Dr. Aliu,

I just got off duty and read your e-mail. We did four more segments of the Fence, but we are really underfunded and undermanned and I will not make my deadline without more funds. That is the ONLY thing which made me answer your e-mail, because I'm kind of insulted. No one has ever suggested my character is "questionable". You e-mailed ME out of the blue to suggest this strange deal, so I don't know why you're questioning MY character.

As for handling the money, if it gets into my account, I can handle it. I already set up the account in Nippising, and I took off half a day to go over there and do it.

Why do you need to know about my marriage? Let's just do business. I am a captain in the Civilian Corps, with almost 20 years in. I'm stationed at HDF Sisseton where I'm responsible for 200 miles of Fence and the well being of two platoons, plus enlisted who stay on base, in total about 50 men, so I think I know how to manage.

You asked about my contact information:

James Gates (Capt.)
personal & work address:
3rd Civ. Co., 1st Batt., 5th Reg., 5th Division
HDF Sisseton (Barrack A)
Sisseton, WD 57263

But I prefer we correspond by e-mail, mail which comes onto the post cannot be guaranteed confidential. "Tax is also involve in this transaction, little expenses may arise "

Oh really? In the military we keep things straight and simple.
What fees are involved? Who eats them? You or me?

If I am upset, I have reason to be. Today's action was rough and resulted in two serious injuries, and one of the Roos got away. So now I'm short two men on the Fence line, and my Major refuses to move the deadline back. This country does not appreciate what we do. Now you say my character is questionable. If it's so questionable, why did you contact me?

Front and center, man, what do you need and when? Let's get this done.

J. Gates


DR ALIU AHMED

Dear Jim,
How are you? I got your mail , concerning the tax in this transaction, I know there may be but I don’t know how much that may be involve, but in any case I don’t think I t will stop us from this transaction because I have some, I told you from the beginning you sound very trusting, over the question is what I should do because I don’t know you well, I believe that from time to time we will know each other very well,
I will like you to fill the gapes in the letter and send it to the bank as soon as possible, immediately you do that don’t fail to get back to me, sorry for my late response it is due to the nature of my job,

Thanks
My regards
Dr Aliu Ahmed.

*******************************************************************************

ATTN:ALHAJI ANANE COMPAORE
FOREIGN REMMITANCE DIRECTOR
BANKOF OF AFRICA,
OUAGADOUGOU,
BURKINA FASO,
WEST AFRICA
EMAIL : (boa_bf_bank_@africamail.com)

SUBJECT:APPLYING AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO THE DECEASED.

I MR....................APPLY TO YOUR BANK AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO YOUR DECESEAD CUSTOMER ENGR. JOHN CREEK,FROM TURKEY,HOLDER OF ACCOUNT N°011976421134 ,PUTTING CLAIM OVER HIS BALANCE WITH YOUR BANK VALUED AT US$18.5 MILLION DOLLARS ONLY.
SIR,I WISH TO BE INTIMATED ON THE PROCEDURES INVOLVED IN HAVING THIS FUND TRANSFERD INTO MY ACCOUNT AS GIVEN BELOW
FAX N°.............................. / PHONE
N°.................................
I ALSO APPOLOGISE FOR NOT BEEING ABLE TO HAVE APPLIED SINCE HIS SUDDEN DEATH IN A PLANE CRASH ON 1999 ,IT WAS DUE TO SOME FAMILY PROBLEM WHICH HAVE JUST BEEING SETTLED.
I WISH AN URGENT ATTENTION SHOULD BE GIVEN TO MY HUMBLE APPLICATION AS THE URGENCY IMPLIES ON THIS MATTER.
THANKS IN ANTICIPATION OF YOUR CO-OPERATION.

YOURS SINCERLY,

MR.................................


JIM GATES

...cooperates and sends the letter off to the "bank" with a copy to Ahmed.

ATTN:ALHAJI ANANE COMPAORE
FOREIGN REMMITANCE DIRECTOR
BANKOF OF AFRICA,
OUAGADOUGOU,
BURKINA FASO,
WEST AFRICA
EMAIL : (boa_bf_bank_@africamail.com)

SUBJECT:APPLYING AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO THE DECEASED.

I MR *CAPTAIN* JAMES GATES APPLY TO YOUR BANK AS THE NEXT OF KIN TO YOUR DECESEAD CUSTOMER ENGR. JOHN CREEK,FROM TURKEY,HOLDER OF ACCOUNT N°011976421134 ,PUTTING CLAIM OVER HIS BALANCE WITH YOUR BANK VALUED AT US$18.5 MILLION DOLLARS ONLY.
SIR,I WISH TO BE INTIMATED ON THE PROCEDURES INVOLVED IN HAVING THIS FUND TRANSFERD INTO MY ACCOUNT AS GIVEN BELOW
FAX N°.............................. / PHONE
N°.................................

*NOTE: I am an officer in the Third Civilian Company. I am off duty fairly often but without access to fax or confidential telephone lines, if you understand what I mean. I do however carry my Blackberry Nimbus 2000 in the field and am available through this e-mail address, as long as there is no action going on. A bank account has been arranged; the transfer awaits your approval.

I ALSO APPOLOGISE FOR NOT BEEING ABLE TO HAVE APPLIED SINCE HIS SUDDEN DEATH IN A PLANE CRASH ON 1999 ,IT WAS DUE TO SOME FAMILY PROBLEM WHICH HAVE JUST BEEING SETTLED.
I WISH AN URGENT ATTENTION SHOULD BE GIVEN TO MY HUMBLE APPLICATION AS THE URGENCY IMPLIES ON THIS MATTER.
THANKS IN ANTICIPATION OF YOUR CO-OPERATION.

YOURS SINCERLY,

MR JAMES GATES

p.s. I am told ALHAJI means that you made a religious pilgrimage to the city of Mecca in Saudi Arabia. Is that correct? If so, I would ask you to send some kind of souvenir of Saudi Arabia to me at this address:

James Gates (Capt.)
personal & work address:
3rd Civ. Co., 1st Batt., 5th Reg., 5th Division
HDF Sisseton (Barrack A)
Sisseton, WD 57263

I don't know what kind of souvenirs they have, but anything would be nice. It is for one of my enlisted men who is a Moslem. I like to cheer up the men under my command, because they do not have much to cheer about.


JIM GATES

Dr. Aliu,

First, if you're going to call yourself "Dr" (what kind of Doctor? medical? or a PhD in something?), then call me Captain Gates. Otherwise we can both be on a first name basis. Your call.

You will have a (blind) copy of my letter to the bank (do they know about you?). I made a few changes, I am not a MR I am a Captain, also you don't seem to grasp that I'm in combat several times a week and while I have arranged the bank account and have confidential electronic communications, I can't be calling and faxing to another country. It draws attention. Maybe you haven't heard but we have a security situation here.

Second, when does the money arrive in the Nippising account. Yesterday we killed three Roos coming UNDER the Fence. They have figured out how to DIG. I told my major this is a whole new ball game, we have to extend the Fence down further, but there is no extra money for materials. I can't even afford to rent a back hoe. The people here are so typical. Waaaah, we want subsidized flood insurance, waaah, we want subsidized water, and roads, and schools, and you name it, and oh yes the best armed forces in the world, but no one wants to pay for it. They're all about the rugged individualism unless it means extra penny for a pack of cigarettes. Same with the corporations, hooray for the free market and no more government interference, but try taking away their tax write-offs and their trade subsidies and oh boy! So bottom line mister is that I need MONEY to get my job done and I don't want to hear excuses. The Fence MUST be completed.

You probably don't even know what's going on, out there in wherever you are, but the day those folks over in Nippising adopted a sister city in Australia, they sealed our doom. Forget Iraq. Forget the drug wars and the disappearing aquifers and everything else. The Roos will be our ruin.

p.s. I don't understand why the form doesn't have a space for supplying my bank account. The bank will need that. Everything's ready to go, man.

Why not sew a little confusion?


JIM GATES

Aliu,
Please explain yourself.
You seem to be e-mailing everyone on base!
Corporal Alexander came up to me in the mess hall.
He had an e-mail from YOU! I thought this was a secret!
The e-mail was different but the same story!
He wanted to know if he should answer it.
Naturally I didn't encourage him or tell him about MY e-mail.
Alexander is an ambitious jerk anyway.
Someone constantly dreaming of world domination is not healthy.
It's ordinary soldiers who pay the price.
I hope he never gets anywhere in the military.

Anyway - I thought you and I had an arrangement.
And nothing from the bank - what are they waiting for?
Maybe your form was wrong, like I said before, it had no space for my bank account number.
If you're some kid playing with his old man's computer, quit wasting my time.
Otherwise get cracking, I want this deal done.
We had another break-in and those Roos seem to get bigger every day.

J. Gates (Captain)


DR ALIU AHMED

Subject: i dont need you again
Date: Fri, 17 Dec 2004
go away ok

I'm hurt! He dumps me so easily.


JIM GATES

Subject: roger that Re: i dont need you again
Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2004

> go away ok

Well what if I don't want to, mister?

You don't NEED me again? After I set up that dang bank account?

Oh yeah and I never heard from your "bank".

Are you the low level "guyman"? No prize for you.

Maybe you thought one of the 200 other guys who got your mail here would "help" you out?
Well - our Major had us all assemble this morning after chow.
We were given a presentation all about your scam.
It turned out one of the guys in the unit was an immigrant from Ouagadougou.
He spoke to us and explained that a lot of you "419ers" are actually from Nigeria.
He was impressive - speaks three languages and is saving up for college.
As long as he keeps working on the Fence, he doesn't have to go to Iraq.
He has some vision, some energy.
You're just ridiculous.
After the assembly, everyone received a copy of "419 Ways To Have a Laugh", a new book.
Quite funny. Officers shouldn't laugh too much around their men, and I'm not too jolly anyway, but I laughed you bet.
I'm buying five copies for my relatives.
Everyone who enlists from our district will be given a copy from now on.
It's got sample letters and pictures of your bank "certificates".
After assembly, we all took the guy from Burkina Faso out for beers.
We like his French accent.
He taught us interesting words in French, like arnaque, and pigeon, which I didn't know was a French word.
My French is bad, but I'm guessing yours is too.

No more scams in this man's army.

p.s. We brought in another Roo over the weekend - a big one, with a righteous rack of horns.
We're having it stuffed and hung in the mess hall, and one of the guys suggested we put a sign under it: "ALIU".
I practically spewed beer when he said that.
Nice interacting with you, mister.

That's probably the last we've heard of him. I guess I need to be more subtle. Or something. It doesn't seem to matter HOW rude Lonslo Tossov gets, they keep coming back to him.



[thanks www.giftlog.com for the pic! (they are not responsible for the alterations)]

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