THE ADVENTURES OF MRS. SAVIMBI IN THE EIGHTH DIMENSION

updated july14

From a Kindly Contributor in the USA:

This started with a piece of spam I got under a throwaway email address. It's the usual Savimbi spam. However, I'm having the spammer talk to "my man John Smallberries" and "Dr. Lizardo" under different addresses. I've got to the phony documents stage, and would like to share what I've got so far. I have no doubt I'll be hearing from them again.


February 4, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi And Mexico, Angola (?!)

From: "DR.NANCY SAVIMBI" <nancysavimbi1@webmail.co.za>
Reply-To: n_savimbi00@fsmail.net
To: Kindly Contributor
Date: Sun, 1 Feb 2004 14:45:42 -0800
Subject: Urgent

Dear,

I am Dr.Nancy Savimbi. I am the wife to the late Jonas Savimbi, the late leader of the national Union for The Total Independence of Angola (UNITA). My husband was killed during combat action against government forces in Mexico, Angola on the 22nd of Feb. 2002. I am contacting you because of my need to deal with person whom my family had no previous relationship.

Since the death of my husband, my family has been subjected to all sorts of harassment and intimidation with lots of negative report emanating from the government of President Santos about my husband. The present government has also ensured that all our bank accounts are frozen, and all assets sized.

It is in view of this that I seek your assistance in investing and managing the sum of seventy five Million United State Dollars in your country, being the very last of my family funds in my possession and control unknown to the government.

This money now in question came as a result of Diamond Royalties that was paid to my late husband from the Diamond mining within the areas in Angola being controlled by (UNITA) for more than a decade. The money was packed in my husbands vault in our family house located out-skirt of our country home where no body will find it.

Right now, the present government has intensified their probe on my family's financial resources; frozen all our known foreign & local accounts, revoked Diamond licenses, and even detained my son (Charles) on alleged flimsy charges just because my husband before his death was the head of UNITA.

Bearing in mind that your assistance is needed to transfer this money, I propose a commission of 10% (Ten Percent) of the total sum to you or your company for the expected services and assistance.

I await your prompt response.

Dr.Nancy Savimbi.


February 4, 2004 - Me:

Dear Dr. Nancy,

I'm sorry to hear of your troubles. What a terrible time you must have had in Mexico, Angola. I didn't even know there was a Mexico in Angola. We have a Mexico near us as well, and I can imagine that there must have been a connection in the past.

I would like to assist you if I may. Please tell me more.

Thanks,


February 26, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi Is Sick (with the Angolan trots, perhaps?)

Received: from [217.146.8.84] Date: Thu, 26 Feb 2004 05:58:26 -0800 (PST)

Tel: 00871762989121 Fax:00871762989123

MY DEAR,
I am so sorry for not writing you since because of illness.This is to acknowledge the receipt of your mail and your accepting to be of great assistance to me. i promise that you will never regret your association with my family and you are going to benefit immensely from this transaction. All i need from you is sincererity of purpose and dedicated honesty to enable me confide in you the required trust neccessary for the success of this transaction.i hope also that you will never dissappoint me because a lot of foreign expatriate has used this medium to defraud me due to my predicament . you have to understand that this is going to be the genesis of our business relationshp.I DON`T UNDERSTAND WHAT YO MEAN BY YOU WILL GIVE ALL THE INFORMATIONS ABOUT YOUR ACCOUNT OVER THE PHONE. ALOT OF PEOPLE HAVE DEFRUDED ME BECAUSE OF PREDICAMENT.
in view of the above i advice you send me a copy of
your international passport by fax for my perusal and for my personal identifiction. And also your personal telephone and fax number, i will send to you also a transaction agreement if i receive your response,which you will sign and send back to me. that will guide us through out the duration of this transaction. Although we have no much time to waste, i have perfected an avenue to actualise the dream of this transaction. My idea is due to african strict banking policy, we cannot be able to use angolan bank for fund transfer. All we need to do is to move the funds in cash out of angola through a diplomatic means. By this reason you have to assume full beneficiary status of the funds by depositing it on your behalf with a courier company. Once this is done you assume full Ownership status of the funds, thereby making it impossible for seizure or confistication.
We have been using this medium to move out funds when my husband was alive. Once i receive your response, i shall feel free to give you detailed information on how we can proceed. please remember to keep this transaction highly secret and confidential. Note that my tel/fax number is as above you can always reach me there at any time,it is a satilite number.
PLEASE TRY AND SEND ME YOUR SECURITY AND FAX NUMBER FOR THE CONFIDENTIALITY OF THE TRANSACTION.
Thank you and God almight will bless you my brother I await your urgent response.
Best regards,
mrs savimbi


February 27, 2004 - Me:

Dear Dr. Nancy,

First, let me say how sorry I am that you have had to go through such illness in Mexico. Why, I myself have heard horrible, horrible stories about what visitors to Mexico sometimes suffer when they partake of the local fare. I only hope you've been spared such agonies and that your malady will soon offer you true and final surcease.

I don't understand some of your letter, though, and I'm not sure how I can help you. You say a medium has defrauded you? Perhaps your country has laws against fortune tellers and such, as is true in England. No doubt such mediums are mere con artists and fraudsters, people of low repute and even lower personal hygiene. My advice to you is to stay as clear of them as you can.

Also, you mentioned something about giving an account over the phone. I didn't see anything like that in your other email. Perhaps you mixed me up with someone else to whom you are writing?

Finally, if you need some medicine there in Angola I can send you some directly that will help with the "trots," as we call them here. Just send me your address and I'll get it right out to you.

Cheers,


March 2, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi Is Clueless

MY DEAR,

I DON`T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU WROTE.

PLEASE SEND ME YOUR PERSONAL IDENTIFICATION AND YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBERS TO ENABLE US START THE TRANSACTION.

I AWAIT YOUR URGENT RESPONSE

MY BEST REGARDS

SAVIMBI


March 7, 2004 - Me:

Dear Dr. Savimbi,

I'm not sure why you don't understand what I wrote. You said you were having trouble with a medium in Mexico, and I sympathized with you. I will send you something to help with your terrible illness if you'll only send me your mailing address. The Angola trots must be even more terrifying than the Tijuana trots, or so I speculate.

As for my number, why do you need that? Please explain.

Hesitantly,

Sir


March 8, 2004- Dr. Savimbi Is Still Clueless

my dear,
i want you call and also give you the procedures of the transaction. please send me your i dentification pluse your number to enable me send you the procedure of the transaction.

i await your urgent response

my best regards
savimbi


March 8. 2004 - Me:

Dear Dr. Savimbi,

Please go ahead and send me whatever details you need to send me, but I am very worried about this supernatural quack who is assailing you. The least you can do is let me send you a gift of medicine, something to help your poor distressed duodenum and sphincter after the Angolan trots have violated the integrity of your GI tract. I have some Imodium that has always done the trick for
me, dear, and I would like you to know the fullness of relief.

I have a man that handles financial things for me if you would like to talk to him. His email address is "[deleted] " and his name is John Smallberries. I don't know beans about money and I'm always spending it on impulse, so he helps me keep my spending under $10,000 a month. That way my income and my outflow
are the same. Aren't men wonderful?

Sincerly,


March 8, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi Mysteriously Becomes Princess Sandra

my dear,

please give me your telephone number and fax number number to enable me call you so that we can take off with the transaction
i await you kind and urgent response
my best regards
sandra(princess)


March 9. 2004 - Me:

Sweetie, you'll have to talk to John Smallberries since he handles my money.

Do let me know how your terrible bowel problems are going, OK?


March 9, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi Is Dr. Savimbi Again

MY DEAR THAT IS OKAY,

PLEASE SEND ME HIS TELEPHONE NUMBER

MY BEST REGARDS

SAVIMBI

[Here there is a lapse of expired emails wherein "John Smallberries" suspiciously challenges the alleged Dr. Savimbi on her name change to Princess Sandra. What I've recovered from 'her" replies follows.]


March 9, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi Explains The Mystery

MY DEAR,

SORRY FOR THE MISUNDERSTANDING IN MY NAME.MY NAMES ARE SANDRA NANCY TAMIA SAVIMBI.

MY PEOPLE FROM MY MATERNAL SIDE USE TO CALL ME PRINCESS SANDRA AND FROM MY HUSBAND SIDE THEY ADDRESS ME AS NANCY SAVIMBI.

PLEASE YOU CAN CALL BOTH OF THEM THEY ARE ALL MY NAMES.

I AWAIT YOUR URGENT RESPONSE REGARDING MY REQUEST

MY BEST REGARDS

SAVIMBI SANDRA NANCY


March 11, 2004 - John Smallberries

John Smallberries wants to help give you money, but you must make John Smallberries trust you. My client be a rich lady what lots of people want to steal money from, but me John Smallberries protects her. How you think I trust you when you change your name?

Ok Princess whatever the hell you are, send me documents proving you be who you say you be and I send you money, OK?


March 11, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi Doesn't Need Money...

MY DEAR,
I DON`T THINK I NEED YOUR MONEY BECAUSE WE ARE OKAY WITH ONES WE HAD. WHAT I NEED FROM YOU IS SINCERITY OF PURPOSE AND DEDICATED HONESTY IN THE TRANSACTION.
PLEASE SEND ME YOUR SECURITY FAX NUMBER TO ENABLE ME FAX YOU A COPY OF MY DIPLOMATIC PASSPORT FOR YOUR IDENTIFICATION.
ONCE I RECIEVE YOUR FAX NUMBER I WILL SEND YOU A COPY OF THE TRANSACTION AGREEMENT AND THE PROCEDURE OF THE TRANSACTION.

I AWAIT YOUR URGENT RESPONSE

MY REGARDS
SAVIMBI


March 11, 2004 - John Smallberries

OK, you no need money, what else you want? You want send John Smallberries documents? OK, you email them to me. Then I sign & send back to you.


March 12, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi Needs My Phone Number

my dear,

before i send anything,i will like to have your private telephone number to enable me call you and also for further identification.
i await your urgent response
my best regards
savimbi


March 12, 2004 - John Smallberries

You no need phone number, we got "DONOTCALL" list so we get no spam, you send John Smallberries documents, we sign and we send back to you OK? You can fax Kinko's? Maybe we get you Kinko's, OK?


March 20, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi Forgets Where "She" Is In The Scam

My Dear

Good day i did not hear from again what happened i hope you are fine ,Pls respond back to me soonest.

Best Regard

Savimbi


March 22, 2004 - John Smallberries

John Smallberries still wait for YOU, woman. You can send me documents to sign>? Yes no? You want maybe send me documents to kinkos?

[no response, so I send this on the 27th]

March 27, 2004 - John Smallberries

Hey foo, why you no write to John Smallberries? You gone died of Mexican trots or something?


March 31, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi Is Really Confused Now

MY DEAR

PLS SEND ME THE EMAIL

MRS SAVIMBI

April 2, 2004 - John Smallberries

Email? What email? You no write to John Smallberries for over a week now! Woman, what wrong with you? You say send you fax, then you say send you telephone, now you say send email?

Make sense, damn it!


April 7, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi Tries Again With A New Subject Line ("URGENT RESPONCE")

MY DEAR

GOOD DAY, PLEASE TELL ME ARE JOHN SMALLBERRIES TELL ME SO THAT I WILL NO WHAT I AM DOING BECUASE THIS FUND OUT THERE IS GENERATING ALOT OF DUMORAGES AND HAS BEEN SHIFTED TO GREECE SO IF ARE WILLING TO HELP ME AND MY FAMILY IN THIS SITUATION PLEASE TELL ME.

MY DEAR I DON'T KNOW WHETHER YOU ARE LOOKING AT THIS FUND OUT THERE AS A JOKE PLEASE I STILL NEED YOUR URGENT RESPONCE BECAUSE THAT FUND IS THE ONLY THING THAT I HAVE NOW AND I AM WILLING TO INVEST THIS FUND IN ANY BUSINESS WITH YOU AS FAR AS THIS FUND IS OUT.

MY DEAR I NEED YOU AS FRIEGNER WHO WILL GO AND REPRESENT ME IN THE SECURITY COMPANY WHERE THIS FUND IS BEEN DEPOSITED AND HELP TO CLEAR IT OUT ,THAT KIS WHY I CALLED YOUR ATTENTION BECAUSE I CAN NOT GO THERE MY SELF FOR SOME SECURITY REASON.

I WAIT FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONCE MY DEAR.

BEST REGARDS .

MRS SAVIMBI.


April 7, 2004 - John Smallberries

Me John Smallberries tell you I will go help you woman, but you have got make some sense, damnit! I have a lot of work to do at Yoyodyne and I can't spend all day trying to figure out what you want! Now send me the messages for the security company so I can contact them!

John Smallberries be a man of his word--now you be a woman of your word, OK?


April 9, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi Changes Subject Again ("URGENT")

MY DEAR JOHN

THANK YOU FOR YOUR ASSITANCE TO ME IN THIS BUSINESS,BUT PLEASE THE SECURITY COMPANY WILL NOT RECOGNISE YOU FOR NOW ON LESS I TOLD THEM ABOUT YOU.

SO I WANT YOU TO SEND TO ME YOUR TELEPHONE NO,FULL NAME AND DDRESS,TO ENABLE ME SEND IT TO THE SECURITY COMPANY FOR A CHANGE OF WNERSHIP TO YOUR NAME MAKING YOU THE BENEFICIARY TO THE CONSIGNMENT ,SO MY DEAR IF I RECIEVE THIS REQUIRMENT I WILL NOW GIVE YOU THE SECURITY CONTACT FOR YOU TO CONTACT THEM .

IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTION YOU ARE FREE TO ASK SO THAT I CAN CLARIFY IT TO YOU.WAITING FOR YOUR URGENT REPLY

REGARDS

MRS SAVIMBI


April 11, 2004 - John Smallberries

[this is of course a made-up address and phone number]

John Smallberries
4706 Industrial Park Blvd
Santa Anusa, CA 90201
(818) 662-5754


April 12, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi Thanks John Smallberries

MY DEAR JOHN

HOW ARE YOU TODAY I HOPE ALL IS FINE,I HAVE RECIEVED YOUR CONTACTS OK I WILL GIVE THEM TO THE SECURITY COMPANY SO THAT THEY WILL NO WHOM YOU ARE AND THEY WILL ALSO CALL ON PHONE .

I WILL SEND YOU THE DEPOSITE SLIP AND THE CHANGE OF OWNERSHIP WHICH YOU WILL SHOW TO THE SECURITY COMPANY AS THE BENEFICAILY OF THE FUND.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR YOUR ASSITANCE TO ME AND MY FAMILY IN THIS TRANSACTION,I WISH YOU SUCESS

BEST REGARDS

MRS SAVIMBI


April 12, 2004 - John Smallberries

OK woman, you send to John Smallberries, we fill out.


April 13, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi Sends Some Scamalicious Documents

DEAR JOHN

GOOD DAY, THIS IS THE DOCUMEINTS THAT YOU WILL NEED WHICH YOU WILL PRESENT TO THE SECURITY.

(1)THE DEPOSIT SLIP WHICH MY HUSBAND USE TO DEPOSIT THE FUND THE SECURITY COMPANY

(2)THE DEPOSIT SLIP WHICH WAS USED TO CHANGE IT TO YOUR NAME AS THE DEPOSITOR.

(3)IS THE CERTIFICATES OF CHANGE OF OWNERSHIP TO YOUR AS THE BENEFICAILY OF THE FUND.

PLS. DO NOT FORGET YOUR SECURITY CODE NUMBER: (FSC-785)

THE IS THE SECURITY CONTACTS

PHONE 306946086933

NAME MR KEN COLE

MY DEAR IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTION TO ASK CONSIGNING THE DOCUMENTS PLEASE LET ME KNOW

BEST REGARDS

MRS SAVIMBI


April 15, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi

Received: from [80.179.243.98]
Date: Thu, 15 Apr 2004 00:31:25 -0700 (PDT)

MY DEAR JOHN

GOOD DAY , HAVE YOU RECIEVED THE DOCUMENTS AND HAVE YOU CONTACTED THE SECURITY COMPANY IF SO PLEASE LET ME KNOW.
I WAIT FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONCE.
BEST REGARDS
MR SAVIMBI


April 18, 2004 - John Smallberries

Me got documents but no look at yet. Is OK?

[I also sent this:]


April 18, 2004 - John Smallberries

OK, me send to Mr. Cole, is he an old king? Me drop off at PO after check on Dr. Lizardo, he not talking too well right now.


April 19, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi

Received: from [80.179.243.98]
Date: Mon, 19 Apr 2004 04:36:07 -0700 (PDT)

OK MR JOHN BUT PLEASE I WILL LIKE YOU TO TELL ME WHAT YOU AND COLE HAVE DISCOURSED.

I WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU

BEST REGARDS

MRS SAVIMBI


April 19, 2004 - John Smallberries

OK, I send to Dr. Lizardo., he not feeling well but he say he look at documents. Dr. Lizardo is email at "[deleted]" so he tell me when he done.


April 19, 2004 - Dr. Lizardo (to Dr. Savimbi)

Hah hah hah hah haaaah! I have the documents now, yes I do, and I will give them a thorough going-over, oh yes indeed. Soon all the secrets contained therein will be revealed. Then my quest for power will be complete. Hah hah hah hah hah!!!


April 20, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi (to Dr. Lizardo)

Received: from [80.179.243.99]
Date: Tue, 20 Apr 2004 05:04:13 -0700 (PDT)

MY DEAR DR LIZARDO

THANK FOR YOUR MAIL OK I HAVE HAD WHAT YOU SAID.

I STILL WAIT FOR YOUR GOOD REPLY

BEST REGARDS

MRS.SAVIMBI


April 20, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi (to John Smallberries):

Received: from [80.179.243.99]
Date: Tue, 20 Apr 2004 04:41:42 -0700 (PDT)
From: Dr Nancy Savimbi <nancysavimbi2004@yahoo.com>
Subject: URGENT

MY DEAR JOHN

I RECIEVED A MAIL FROM DR LIZARDO IS HE GOING TO ASSIT YOU IN THIS TRANSACTION IF HE WILL FINE BUT PLEASE REMEMBER THAT THIS MONEY HAS BEEN DEPOSITED WITH YOUR NAME AND YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT YOU WILL DO THINGS FAST TO GO AND CLEAR THIS FUND OUT BECAUSE IT IS GENERATING DUMORAGES

MR KEN COLE IS NOT A KING HE IS THE CHIFE DIRECTOR OF THE SECURITY COMPANY

MRS SAVIMBI


April 22, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi (to John Smallberries):

Received: from [80.179.243.98]
Date: Thu, 22 Apr 2004 02:47:13 -0700 (PDT)

MY DEAR JOHN
I DID NOT HEAR FROM YOU AGAIN I HOPE ALL IS WELL,PLEASE TELL ME WHAT IS HAPPENING SO I WILL KNOW MY WAY ABOUT.
THANK YOU
MRS. SAVIMBI

April 24, 2004 - John Smallberries

Wooman, John Smallberries is busy. I will write you again when Dr. Lizardo tells me documents are OK. Then we sign and send to you, OK? I will write Dr. and see where he is.


April 24, 2004 - Dr. Lizardo (to Dr. Savimbi)

A ha ha haha, Mrs. Savimbi, yes, we see you, indeed we do. We a-look verrrry carefully at-a you so-called documents, OK, they seem we will do this, but John Smallberries, he a-no send you no money, you know why? Because soon, very soon, I will have it all. Yes yes yes, indeed, Dr. Emilio Lizardo is the brightest mind on the planet and all of you are bugs beneath his feet, so go ahead and run around doing your little deeds while I let you, for soon all will be mine. Hah hah hah hah hah!!!!


Savimbi In The Eighth Dimension Part 3


April 22, 2004 - John Smallberries to Dr. Savimbi

OK Dr. Lizardo say is OK to sign documents, you tell me where you want them sent to.


April 27, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi (to John Smallberries):

Received: from [80.179.243.100]
Date: Tue, 27 Apr 2004 00:55:36 -0700 (PDT)
From: Dr Nancy Savimbi <nancysavimbi2004@yahoo.com>
Subject: REPLY SOON

MY DEAR JOHN

THANK YOU FOR YOUR MAIL, HOW ARE YOU TODAY, I HOPE ALL IS WELL. MY DEAR THE DOCUMENTS IS WHAT YOU WILL PRESENT TO THE SECURITY COMPANY THERE IN GREASE AS THE BENEFICIALLY OF THE FUND WHICH YOU KNOW THAT THEY HAVE ALREADY CHANGED IT TO YOUR NAME,

SO MY DEAR JOHN YOU HAVE TO CONTACT(PHONE 306946086933 ) MR. KEN COLE THE DIRECTOR OF THE SECURITY COMPANY NOW SO HE CAN TELL YOU THE NEST THING TO DO, ON HOW YOU WILL COME FOR THE CONSIGNMENT.
PLEASE TRY AND CONTACT HIM IMMEDIATELY SO WE WILL CLEAR THIS MONEY THIS WEEK.

I STILL WAIT FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONSE.

YOUR FAITHFUL

MRS SAVIMBI.


April 27, 2004 - John Smallberries to Mrs. Savimbi

Hokay Savimbi Princess, give me email address of security company and I write him, OK?


April 27, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi (to Dr. Lizardo)

Received: from [80.179.243.100]
Date: Tue, 27 Apr 2004 01:01:14 -0700 (PDT)

MY DEAR LIZARDO

HOW ARE YOU TODAY ,I HOPE EVERY BODY IS OK,I HAVE HAD WHAT YOU SAID.I HAVE WROTE TO MR JOHN SO PLEASE HEAR FROM HIM.

THANK YOU

MRS SAVIMBI


April 27, 2004 - Dr. Lizardo (to Dr. Savimbi)

Mr. John Smallberries is going on a little trip, Mrs. Savimbi, and he won't be back until Friday. You see, Yoyodyne is building a special new device, yes it is, and this device will change everything, and I mean everything, about the world as we know it. Your little problems will all be solved, and I will be the solver! Me, do you hear, me!! Hah haha hah haha hah ahhahhaaa!!!!


April 28, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi (to John Smallberries)

Received: from [80.179.243.100]
Date: Wed, 28 Apr 2004 11:02:56 -0700 (PDT)

MY DEAR JOHN

I DID NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON WITH YOUR FRIEND OR BROTHER DR LIZARDO HESENT ME A MAIL WHICH DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHAT IS GOING ON WITH HIM AND I DO
NOT LIKE WHAT HE IS SAYING SO MY DEAR I WILL LIKE TO DO THIS BUSINESS WITH YOU ALONE AND YOU WILL KEEP IT SECRET BECAUSE I WILL NOT LIKE ANY BODY TO CHEAT YOU AND YOU ARE THE FIRST PERSON I KNOW.

PLS DO NOT LET ANY BODY TO NO ABOUT IT AGAIN BECAUSE I WON.T LIKE YOU TO SURFER IN VEIN AFTER MAKING IT UP YOUR MIND TO HELP MY FAMILY TO GET THIS MONEY
OUT FROM THE SECURITY COMPANY AND I WILL LIKE YOU TO INVEST THIS MONEY IN A BUSINESS THAT YOU WILL TAKE CARE OF AND BOTH OF US WILL GAIN IT A LOT WITHOUT ANY PROBLEM

SO MY DEAR JOHN I WILL SEND YOU IT, WHAT HE WROTE AND ALSO WILL LIKE YOU TO SEE WHAT YOUR FRIEND SAID BECAUSE WHAT I HATE IN MY LIFE IS BETRAYER HOW CAN HE DO THIS TO YOU AFTER YOU TOLD HIMABOUT THIS .

THIS IS THE PRIVATE EMAIL ADDRESS OF MR KEN COLE THE DIRECTOR OF THE SECURITY COMPANY .(dr_kencole@yehey.com)

YOUR FAITHFULLY

MRS SAVIMBI

[NOTE: Here she forwards the "Dr. Lizardo" message to "John Smallberries." What a rat!! <g>]


April 29, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi (to John Smallberries)

Received: from [80.179.243.100]
Date: Thu, 29 Apr 2004 22:17:11 -0700 (PDT)

MY DEAR JOHN
HAVE YOU CONTACTED THE SECURITY COMPANYIF SO PLEASE LET ME KNOW. I WAIT FOR YOUR URGENT RESPONCE.
BEST REGARDS
MR SAVIMBI


April 24, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Savimbi)

Dr. Lizardo, he heap smart man but he a little funny in the head. He not feeling well, but is OK guy, that is just his way. Dr. Lizardo work for Yoyodyne now, is invent some new device. He no tell me what, but he say is BIG device, something about eighth intentions or like that.

BUt OK, me write him and see what he say to you.

Me write old King Cole too and get stuff from him.


April 30, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Savimbi)

Ok woman, me write them today.

April 30, 2004 - Dr. Lizardo (to Dr. Savimbi)

I see you, Mrs. Savimbi, oh yes I do. YOu think you can hide from Dr. Lizardo, the master of the Red Lectroids? Fool! I have been to all seven of the
known dimensions and have seen things, have done things, that would boggle your weak mind. All humans are like insects unto me!

Oh, go on Mrs. Savimbi, you just go on with your little games until I finish my secret device. Then nothing you or anyone else can do will stop me. Just wait, Mrs. Savimbi, just wait. Then it will all be mine!!!

A hah hah hah hah haha!!!!

[Dr. Savimbi does not take the bait, however, so "John Smallberries" writes to the alleged Mr. Cole.]

April 30, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Ken Cole)

OK Miss Princess Sandra Nancy Savimbi Dr. Medicine Woman want me write you, say find out about how to get family treasures back, OK. You send me the documents, now OK?


May 3, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi (to John Smallberries)

Received: from [80.179.243.98]
Date: Mon, 3 May 2004 09:15:57 -0700 (PDT)

MY DEAR JOHN

OK I HAVE HAD WHAT YOU SAID,I FORWARDED IT TO YOU,FOR TO SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING BECAUSE I WILL NOT LIKE ANY BODYTO CHEAT YOU IN THIS BUSINESS.

MY DEAR JOHN IFTHERE IS ANY DEVELOPMENT TOYOU PLEASE LET ME KNOW.

YOURS FAITHFUL

MRS SAVIMBI

[She was so excited she sent this twice. So I responded twice.]

May 3, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Savimbi)

I wrote Mr. Cole yesterday like you say, he no answer me.


May 3 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Savimbi)

OK OK OK OK OK OK OK


May 4, 2004 - Ken Cole to John Smallberries

[NOTE: This does not come from the same email address as was given to me by "Savimbi." This cam from "diamond_s_c@yahoo.com" instead of "dr_kencole@yehey.com".]

Received: from [80.179.243.98]
Date: Tue, 4 May 2004 05:26:56 -0700 (PDT)
From: diamond service <diamond_s_c@yahoo.com>
Subject: comfidentail.

Attention sir,
Are you Mr John Smallberries whom Mrs Savimbi of Agola said he will come for the consignment if you are send us the security code no. to identifly you as
the as the beneficairy.

Mr.Ken cole.
(director general)


May 4, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Mr. Ken Cole)

FSC-785


May 4, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi (to John Smallberries)

Received: from [80.179.243.98]
Date: Tue, 4 May 2004 09:24:31 -0700 (PDT)

John
Icalled the security company, luckly to me i gotMrcole on line and he said that he has already send two mails to you.
Mrs savimbi


May 4, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Savimbi)

I only got one email from him, and I answered it. Now we see what he do, eh?

PART 4


May 5, 2004 - Ken Cole to John Smallberries

Received: from [80.179.243.98]
Date: Wed, 5 May 2004 02:42:19 -0700 (PDT)
From: diamond service <diamond_s_c@yahoo.com>
Subject: Comfidentail.

Attention: Mr. John.
We have acknowledged that you are the next beneficiary of the family treasure of the savimbi;s family of agola.Congratulation! before we proceed, we
have rules and regulations you have to observe to enable us keep a tangible records of you.
We don't send money directly to any person without keeping proper
identification and records. we suggest that you prepare your traveling documents
to grease to sign for the family treasure and get clear comprehensive records and
evidence for future references in other to keep the image of the company firmly and integrity. this has to be done by the company . Thanks.
Regards,
Mr. Ken Cole
(Director General).


May 5, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi (to John Smallberries)

Received: from [64.110.77.3]
Date: Wed, 5 May 2004 07:01:21 -0700 (PDT)
From: Dr Nancy Savimbi <nancysavimbi2004@yahoo.com>
Subject: THANKS

OK
MRS.SAVIMBI


May 7, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Ken Cole)

OK, Dr. Lizardo, he going to arrange transport for us, eh? You got LEctroids there?


May 7, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Savimbi)

OKOK


May 10, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi (to John Smallberries)

Received: from [80.179.243.98]
From: Dr Nancy Savimbi <nancysavimbi2004@yahoo.com>
Subject: UPDATE ME

MY DEAR JOHN

GOOD DAY, PLEASE JOHN, HAVE THE SECURITY COMPANY TOLD YOU WHEN TO COME FOR THE CONSIGNMENT, PLEASE LET ME KNOW

I WAIT FOR URGENT REPLY

YOURS FAITHFUL

MRS SAVIMBI


May 7, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Savimbi)

No, me no hear from them yet. I tell you when they talk me, OK?


May 10, 2004 - Ken Cole to John Smallberries

Received: from [80.250.36.51]
Date: Mon, 10 May 2004 11:19:59 -0700 (PDT)
From: diamond service <diamond_s_c@yahoo.com>
Subject: Comfidentail. Attention Mr. john
We acknowledge the receipt of your mail, please Mr. john we will need your international passport which we will use to identify you in person when you will arrived. And my dear you have to come with all the documents that are necessary for this transaction.
Mr. john there is some small chargers that will pay for the consignment which you will use to come and is sum of $6,000 and this is for carrying over of
the consignment.
Mr. john which day I my expecting you, please let me know. This has to be done by the company.
Thanks
Mr. Ken Cole
(Director General)


May 10, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Ken Cole)

We no need passport, Dr. Lizardo and I flying straight in. He got new flying machine he invent, is gonna land us there big time, plenty fast. He say we
go faster than sound, faster than light, go through other dimensions or something. John Smallberries is excited to be a part of it.

I ask Dr. Lizardo about flying ship if you like. Where we know where we supposed to land?


May 10, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Savimbi)

Hokay, Mr. Cole talk to me today, we work on when we get there. Me let you know when that be. Maybe next week?


May 10, 2004 - Ken Cole to John Smallberries

Received: from [80.179.243.98]
From: diamond service <diamond_s_c@yahoo.com> Subject: Comfidentail.

Attention Mr. John

We acknowledge the receipt of your mail today, Mr john we need your passport or your photo graph which you will send it to us urgently by mail, to help us identify you in person when you will arrive and this picture will be what see in your mail that will make me to know you, please tell me the exectly day that you are coming.
so that i will tell you where you will stop and wait for me to come and pick you up ,This has to be done by the security company.
Thanks
Mr Ken Cole
(Director General)


May 11, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi (to John Smallberries)

Received: from [80.179.243.98]
Date: Tue, 11 May 2004 08:20:24 -0700 (PDT)
From: Dr Nancy Savimbi <nancysavimbi2004@yahoo.com>
Subject: UPDATE ME

Ok My Dear

I wait to hear from you when you will be going

Mrs Savimbi


May 12, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi (to John Smallberries)

Received: from [80.179.243.98]
Date: Wed, 12 May 2004 23:04:27 -0700 (PDT)
From: Dr Nancy Savimbi <nancysavimbi2004@yahoo.com>
Subject: PLEASE CONTACT THE COMPANY IMMIDETILY

MY DEAR JOHN

HOW ARE YOU TODAY,I HOPE ALL IS WELL,MY DEAR THE SECURITY COMPANY CONTACTED ME AND THEY TOLD ME ALL ABOUT YOU AND HOW YOU ARE WORKING WITH THEM,JOHN THEY TOLD ME THAT THEY REGUESTED SOME THING FROM YOU BUT YOU HAVE NOT RESPOND TO THEM ,WHY JOHN PLEASE BE WITH THEM IMMIDETILY.

YOUR FAITHFUL

MRS SAVIMBI


May 15, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Ken Cole)

Okay Mr. Nat King Cole, lemme see if I got picture for you.

Here is picture of me, Dr. Lizardo, and John YaYa.

[NOTE: I attached a stock picture from "Buckaroo Banzai" of Dr. Lizardo & some of his henchmen.]


May 15, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Savimbi)

I wait for Mr. King Cole, he tell me when Dr. Lizardo & I can come out. Dr. Lizardo, he take care of transportation and all that.


May 15, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Savimbi)

Ok Princess Sandra, me send them picture. You like see picture of John Smallberries?


May 15, 2004 - Dr. Lizardo (to Ken Cole)

Yes, John Smallberries is coming to you, but I, Dr. Lizardo, am doing the driving. Tremble, then, before the awesome wrath that is me, and rush to give me
the landing coordinates. We will arrive before we leave, trailing clouds of glory behind us as we rule all we survey! Hah haa haa haa haahaha haah!!!!

[NOTE: Mr. Ken Cole also is afraid to respond to Dr. Lizardo for some reason; instead, he keeps pestering John Smallberries.]


May 17, 2004 - Ken Cole to John Smallberries

Received: from [80.179.243.98]
Date: Mon, 17 May 2004 03:43:21 -0700 (PDT)
From: diamond service <diamond_s_c@yahoo.com>
Subject: Comfidentail

Attention mr john

I acknowledge the reciept of mail ,I am now ok for your picture,you can now come for the consignment immidetily , and tell the actual day that you are coming so we will waiting for you. This has to be done by the security company.

Thanks

Mr Ken Cole

(Director General)


May 17, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Ken Cole)

Ok, but send landing coordinates to Dr. Lizardo, he flying us in. His email address is "[deleted]."


May 17, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi (to John Smallberries)

Received: from [80.179.243.98]
Date: Mon, 17 May 2004 07:27:31 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: PLS TRY AND GO THIS WEEK

MY DEAR JOHN

GOOD DAY ,WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN FOR LONG,I HOPE YOU ARE WELL.YES I WILL LIKE TO SEE YOUR PICTURE SEND IT TO ME.
PLEASE JOHN YOU SHOULD TRY AND GO FOR THE CONSIGMENT THIS WEEK PLEASE, AND I WILL LIKE YOU TO SEND TO MY BOX AN INVITATION LETTER TO VISIT YOU TO YOUR COUNTRY FOR A SHORT BUSINESS VISIT.WHICH WILL ENABLE ME SEND MY BARRISTER WHO ALSO IS MY BUSINESS CONSULTANT TO YOUR COUNTRY WHO WILL TAKE CARE OF MY INTEREST THERE.

THE INVITATION LETTER WILL BEAR THIS NAME,MR KINGSLEY CHUKWUKA,CHUKWUKA CHAMBERS,BARRISTERS AND SOLICITORS

BEST REGARDS,

MRS NANCY SAVIMBI


May 17, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Savimbi)

Hokay Mrs. Princess Savimbi, here is picture of John Smallberries with Dr. Lizardo and John YaYa. We all come flying out when old King Cole send us landing coordinates.

[NOTE: I attached the same picture as I sent to the Ken Cole scammer.]


May 17, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Savimbi)

Hokay, here letter:

To whom it may concern:

This be an invitation to Mrs. Nancy Savimbi to come to country for short visit at Yoyodyne Industries. She is going to undertake some business with her buddy Mr. Kingsley Chukwuka. Mr. Chukwuka is a solicitor and so he is going to come to this country to do some soliciting with Mrs. Savimbi.

She going to do this business with me, John Smallberries, at our Yoyodyne plant:

John Smallberries
4706 Industrial Park Blvd
Santa Anusa, CA 90201
(818) 662-5754


May 18, 2004 - Ken Cole to John Smallberries

Received: from [80.179.243.98]
Date: Tue, 18 May 2004 03:40:19 -0700 (PDT)

Attention John
We acknowledge the reciept of your mail today.please Mr John when you arrive in grease airport please contact us so we will come and pick up or you lurge in a hotel please you will let me know the name of the hotel,your lurging
name and the room no so i will send a driver to come and pick you up. This has to be done by the company.
This is the companies contact

Phone 306946086933
Mr Ken Cole
(Director General)


May 18, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Ken Cole)

Hokay Mr. Cole, we come out there, you tell Dr. Lizardo where to land, eh?


May 18, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi (to John Smallberries)

Received: from [80.179.243.98]
Date: Tue, 18 May 2004 03:58:49 -0700 (PDT)

MY DAER JOHN
I THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR THE INVITATION LATER YOU SEND TO ME,HOW ARE YOU TODAY,HAVE YOU ARRIVED TO GREASE,I DISCUSSED WITH MR KEN COLE AND HE TOLD ME THAT
YOU ARE COMING,ANY MORMENT FROM NOW SO ARE YOU THERE NOW.

YOUR FAITHFULY

MRS NANCY SAVIMBI


May 18, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Savimbi)

We wait for Mr. Cole to tell Dr. Lizardo where to land, then we go.


May 18, 2004 - Ken Cole to Dr. Lizardo

Received: from [80.179.243.98]
Date: Tue, 18 May 2004 03:43:38 -0700 (PDT)

Attention
We acknowledge the reciept of your mail today.please Mr when you arrive in grease airport please contact us so we will come and pick up or you lurge in a hotel please you will let me know the name of the hotel,your lurging name and the room no so i will send a driver to come and pick you up. This has to be done by the company.
This is the companies contact

Phone 306946086933
Mr Ken Cole
(Director General)


May 18, 2004 - Dr. Lizardo (to Ken Cole)

Grease? Grease? No, no, no, we no eat-a grease, we eat-a fresh foods. Airport food--that's for mortals! Bah!

Come now, Mr. Cole, tell me where your secret base is. You know you can't keep secrets from me, for I will find out sooner or later. Tell me, and I will fly there to start my process of world domination. You must tell me where to land--is it Abuja, is it Lagos, is it Johannesburg? Speak to Dr. Lizardo!!


May 19, 2004 - Ken Cole to John Smallberries

Received: from [80.179.243.98]
Date: Wed, 19 May 2004 00:56:05 -0700 (PDT)

Attetion John

We acknowledge the reciept of your mail. Mr. John I do not have any other explanaton to you again wlien you arrive in grease call me so iwill come and pick you up. Pls explain to your ageni how you will fly in because I have explained every thing to you. This has to be done by the company.

This is the companies contact
Mr Ken Cole
(Director General)


May 20, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi (to John Smallberries)

Received: from [80.179.243.98]
Date: Thu, 20 May 2004 08:12:16 -0700 (PDT)
Subject: JOHN IF YOU DON;T WANT TO DO THIS BUSINESS WITH ME LET ME KNOW

MY DEAR JOHN
GOOD DAY,I RECIEVED A CALL FROM MR KEN COLE AND HE SAID THAT YOU HAVE NOT COME TO GREASE,PLEASE WHY WHAT IS HAPPENING I AM GETTING CONFUSE ABOUT YOU, PLEASE JOHN I DON'T WANT ANY THING TO HAPPEN TO MY MONEY PLEASE DO SOME ABOUT IT.
I SEND MY SON CHARLES TO CALL YOU ON PHONE BUT HE SAID THAT NO BODY PICKED IT AND HE DROUPED MESSEGE TO YOU IN YOUR AWSERING MACHINE AND SOME TIMES IF
I TRY TO CALL YOU NO BODY WILL PICK IT ARE YOU NOT STAYING AT HOME.
JOHN IF YOU DON;T WANT TO DO THIS BUSINESS WITH ME LET ME KNOW BECAUSE THIS WEEK IS RUNING OUT.
MRS SAVIMBI


May 21, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Ken Cole)

I dunno, I ask Dr. Lizardo. He is flying ship, so he tell me you need to give him landing coordinates. I don't know what he mean by that. Did you write to Dr. Lizardo yet?


May 21, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Savimbi)

I tell Mr. King Cole he need to give landing coordinates to Dr. Lizardo. Dr. Lizardo is flying us in with his ship, we need the landing coordinates for company where we are to pick up money. Where is Grease landing coordinates we need to land at? Tell Dr. Cole to email them to Dr. Lizardo please.

PART THE FIVE


May 21, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi

Received: from [80.179.243.98]

OK JOHN

I WILL TALK TO MR KEN COLE TO TRY AND SEND YOU THE LANDING COORDINATE .BUT JOHN IS IT UNDERMOST THAT YOU WILL GO WITH DR LIZERDO,WHY CAN'T YOU TAKE FLIGHT TO GO, HAVEN'T YOU TRAVEL OUTSIDE THE COUNTRY BEFORE, YOU SHOULD NOT WORRY WHEN YOU REACH THERE JUST CALLED THEM THEY WILL COME AND PICK YOU AT ANY PLACE YOU WILL BE AND ALSO WHEN THIS MONEY WILL BE OUT THE SECURITY COMPANY WILL ALSO HELP YOU TO TRANSFER IT INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.

PLEASE JOHN TRY AND DO SOME,

MRS NANCY SAVIMBI


May 22, 2004 - John Smallberries

John Smallberries not know how to fly ship. Only Dr. Lizardo know how to fly ship--he built it himself, so only he know how to fly it. We like to fly in Dr. Lizardo's ship because then we not have to go through customs, pay for p etrol, etc. So we will fly in with Dr. Lizardo's ship.

I write to Dr. Cole, tell him to send landing coordinates to Dr. Lizardo but he no do that yet. You get him to do that, we go land plenty soon, OK?


May 23, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi

Received: from [80.250.36.51]

MY DEAR JOHN

I HAVE GUTTING THE INFORMATION FROM MR. KEN COLE AND HE WAS SO ANNOYED ABOUT HOW DR LIZARDO TALKED TO THEM, JOHN YOU KNOW THAT IS NOT EVERY BODY THAT LIKED HOW SOME PEOPLE USE TO TALK . PLEASE JOHN YOU WILL HELP ME TELL DR. TO MIND HOW HE TALK TO PEOPLE ESPECIALLY IN BUSINESS.

JOHN HERE IS THE INFORMATION (ATTENSS STATE OF GREASE) THIS IS THE CAPITAL STATE OF GREASE AND THIS IS WHERE THE COMPANY IS.

SO JOHN PLEASE TRY .I STILL WAIT FOR YOUR URGENT REPLY

MRS. SAVIMBI


May 23, 2004 - John Smallberries

Hokay, I send this to Dr. Lizardo, see if he is happy. Then if he happy, we go.


May 24, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi

Received: from [80.179.243.98]

OK JOHN
BUT PLEASE MAKE IT POSITE FOR YOU TO GO FROM THIS MOMENT AND PLEASE WHEN YOU ARE ABOUT TO GO PLEASE LET ME KNOW. YOURS FAITHFUL
MRS NANCY SAVIMBI


May 24, 2004 - John Smallberries

I go check with Dr. Lizardo today, then if he OK we go.


May 25, 2004 - Dr. Lizardo (to Ken Cole)

Hey-A, Old Mr. Ken Cole, where are the landing coordinates, eh? I need to know what the coordinates are so I can land the ship in the right place. But you never wrote and gave them to me.

Grease? Bah! That's-a no landing coordinates, Cochise. You need to give Dr. Lizardo the landing coordinates. Give them to me NOW! A ha hah hah haah haaah haaa!!!!


May 25, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Ken Cole)

Dr. Lizardo say he not have coordinates yet, but maybe we fly out there tomorrow anyway? OK?

[NOTE: Here the Savimbi spammer screws up and replies to my "Ken Cole" email from the Savimbi account. It's basically a blank email but the quotes, as you'll note, are of the email sent to "Ken Cole". Luckily for them I appear not to notice...]


May 26, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi

Received: from [80.179.243.99]

[munged] wrote:

>
> In a message dated 5/19/04 12:56:29 AM, diamond_s_c@yahoo.com writes:
>

> Attetion John
>
> We acknowledge the reciept of your mail. Mr. John I do not have any other
> explanaton to you again wlien you arrive in grease call me so iwill come and
> pick you up. Pls explain to your ageni how you will fly in because I have
> explained every thing to you. This has to be done by the company.
>
> This is the companies contact
> Mr Ken Cole
> (Director General)
>
>
>
> Dr. Lizardo say he not have coordinates yet, but maybe we fly out there > tomorrow anyway? OK?


May 26, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi

Received: from [80.179.243.99]

JOHN
I THOUGHT I GAVE IT TO YOU,WHY NOT GIVE IT TO LIZARDO SO YOU CAN GO.JOHN TRY AND GO,BECAUSE THIS FUND THERE IS GENERATING MORE DEMORRAGES,PLEASE I DON'T WANT TO PAY ANOTHER DEMORRAGE AGAIN PLEASE JOHN.

MRS NANCY SAVIMBI


May 26, 2004 - Ken Cole (to John Smallberries; he is still afraid to talk to Dr. Lizardo, it seems)

Received: from [80.179.243.99]
Date: Wed, 26 May 2004 10:42:13 -0700 (PDT)
From: diamond service <diamond_s_c@yahoo.com<
Subject: Comfidentail

Mr. John

I ackonwledge the reciept of your mail,ok mr john we are waiting.

Mr Ken Cole


May 29, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi

Received: from [80.179.243.99]

JOHN
WHERE ARE NOW PLEASE TELL ME.


May 29, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Savimbi)

Hey Mrs. Princess Sandra, whyfore you send John Smallberries a blank email, eh?

Dr. Lizardo and me, we leave Yoyodyne together and stupid ship malfunction. We are stuck in the fifth dimension between here and where you are, trying to get back to number Three in Greece or wherever. Big pasty things on windows make it hard to see, though. Dr. Lizardo, he cursing a blue streak since Mr. Cole did not send him landing coordinates, he say he fly by guesswork. Lectroids are no help, they just sit around and eat all our food. Will write later when unstuck in time. Carlos Allende says to tell you "Hi."


May 29, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Savimbi)

We going, but so far we have trouble with Dr. Lizardo's new ship. Maybe he not as big a genius as he think he is, 'cause we have to land more than once, sometimes in different dimension. We in Philadelphia now, watching some sort of experiment with a Navy ship while Dr. Lizardo beats the heck out of his steering box. Mr. Allende, who we pick up in fifth dimension, complains he not get any movie rights for this, whatever that means. He says he going back to obscurity now, and can we drop him off.

Will write more later when he airborne again.


May 29, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Ken Cole)

Hey, Mr. Cole, Dr. Lizardo really mad at you for not sending landing coordinates. We trying to fly by eyeball but is no good after leaving fourth dimension. He says when he done with you, you are going to be a little manniken in a bottle on his shelf, sucking glucose from a catheter for the rest of your life. You better be nice to him when we get to Benin or he going to make sushi out of you.


May 29, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Savimbi)

Hey Dr. Savimbi Medicine Woman,

We going to leave tomorrow morning after Dr. Lizardo do final checks on ship. He think we will be there in no time. See you when we get there.

[NOTE: I purposely sent these message out of order for reasons which will become clear later.]


May 31, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi

Received: from [80.250.36.51]

john
i recieved your mail ,ok john
i still wait to hear from
Mrs Savimbi


June 1, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Savimbi)

Hokay Mrs. Savimbi lady, we going to get underway again. We in Philadelphia, so we going to England next and then to Germany and then to the "secret base" Dr. Lizardo talk about. But he really, really mad at Ken Cole. You better tell Ken Cole stay away from airport. Dr. Lizardo say he gonna make Ken Cole pay for not giving him proper landing coordinates. He say Ken Cole gonna be like the watermelon after this, you betcha. Maybe we get there by 31st May?

[NOTE: The watermelon remark is a reference to a scene from "Buckaroo Banzai".]


June 2, 2004 - Dr. Savimbi

Received: from [80.179.243.99]

JOHN
WHAT IS THIS PROBLEM ALL ABOUT,YOU PROMISED TO GO FOR THIS MONEY,JOHN WHILE I CAN'T LIVE ALL THIS YOUR FRIENDS AND GO FOR THIS MONEY,JOHN DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE TAKING THIS PROBLEM LIKE A JOKE WHY I YOU DOING THIS TO ME A WIDOW IS NOT GOOD .IF WANTS TO HELP ME YOU DO,BUT IF DO NOT WANT TO OK BECAUSE YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU ARE GOING TO GREASE FOR MONEY FOR LAST 2 WEEKS AGO PLS I AM GETING CONFUSE ABOUT YOU AND YOUR FRIEND PLS I DO NOT WANT ANY THING TO HAPPEN TO MY MONEY PLS.

MRS SAVIMBI


June 4, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Savimbi)

Woman, you no say funny stuff to John Smallberries. I go to great lengths to help you, ride in stupid breaking down ship with Dr. Lizardo and have to go through hell listening to Lectroids complain all the time about not getting shore leave. It because of you I doing all this, you no think it a joke any more than I do. John Smallberries will be there by 2 days from now, say Dr. Lizardo.

You want to be mad, you be mad at Ken Cole. He not give Dr. Lizardo the landing coordinates like we say to him. Go tell him to pound sand up sewer pipe & say he sorry or else Dr. Lizardo freeze him with his freeze ray and make icicle sculpture out of him, then he be table centerpiece at company banquet in October.


June 12 , 2004 - Dr. Savimbi (to John Smallberries, even though the subject says "lizardo" and the email addresses Dr. Lizardo & not John Smallberries; she also sent the same message twice in a row, so I replied twice):

Received: from [80.179.243.99]

hello lizardo
good day ,pls send me mail
savimbi


June 13, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Savimbi)

Woman, this is John Smallberries. Not Dr. Lizardo. Dr. Lizardo flying ship, he say we be at landing coordinates tomorrow. OK?


June 13, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Dr. Savimbi)

No no no! This is John Smallberries, not Dr. Lizardo! Make sense, woman!


June 15, 2004 - John Smallberries (to both Dr. Savimbi and Mr ken Cole)

Hey Mrs. Savimbi, we here now, where are you? Everything look strange here in Greece. Is plenty backwards town, no? We land in field and gots lots of sheep looking at us funny. Man with staff run away yelling something, and we now looking for airport. Is nice hotel in town?

Dr. Lizardo got something special for Mr. Ken Cole. He say it is his fault we so late, and he going to give him a piece of his mind. First he got to get battery pack to work for bone saw so he can go straight to Mr. Cole's mind and select a good piece to give him. Maybe Dr. Lizardo joking, maybe not.

ANyway, write me ASAP so we can get together and do this thing. Me send this to Ken Cole too, hope he can take joke.

Dr. Lizardo vs. Savimbi--The Final Chapter?


June 18, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Ken Cole)

Hey Mr. Cole,

Dr. Lizardo fly us over to you when you tell us where you are. Where are you? It beginning to smell funny here, what with sheeps all over the place. I got some spannakopita or whatever the hell they call it and we having drinks with ouzo.


June 21, 2004 - Ken Cole to John Smallberries

Received: from [80.179.243.99]
Date: Mon, 21 Jun 2004 01:12:44 -0700 (PDT)
From: diamond service <diamond_s_c@yahoo.com>
Subject: Comfidential Att Mr John

Have you arived in Grease if you have ok call me so i will know where are and come and pick you to the company.

Mr Ken Cole


June 18, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Ken Cole)

Hey Mr. Cole, you no read very good, huh. I say Dr. Lizardo fly us over to you when you tell us where you are. Where are you? You no send landing coordinates to Dr. Lizardo, he already pissed about that. It took us almost a month to get here what with all these stupid delays, now you not tell us where you are.

OK Mr. Hotshot Big King Cole, we now at Corfu Island, guy in funny clothes tells me. Dr. Lizardo is getting more and more drunk on ouzo and is chasing the girls around--we better get on road to you quick. This is coordinates where we at:

39.80 North, 20.10 East, -2000 Back

Now where you at? Smell of tziki sauce making me sick for home food.


June 30, 2004 - Ken Cole to John Smallberries

Attention

You Have disturbed me too much if don't want tell me where you are or call me to come and pick you stop to write i am not a joker like poeple i have something doing ok

Mr Ken Cole


July 06, 2004 - John Smallberries (to Ken Cole)

Who you calling joker, joker? Me asked you many time about landing coordinates and you say stupid thing like "come to grease and I will pick you up."
How the hell we supposed to find anyone that way? You as dumb as Lectroid on vacation. You so dumb, hyena do math better than you. Me go find money anyway without you and get to Mrs. Savimbi. Why she have to suffer for you being like your head made of concrete.

We leaving Corfu today and going to get money. Deal with it, sucker!


July 06, 2004 - John Smallberries (to KDr. Savimbi)

Hey Mrs. Savimbi, look what bonehead Mr. Cole have to say. He big butt nugget, huh?

You no worry. Me and Dr. Lizardo coming to get money from them anyway and get it to you.

Cio.


more to come?


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