THE MAN WITH THE GOLDEN KEYBOARD

Updated may 12 2007

Hi guys, This is my first one, after reading some of the rib-tickling stories on the site I thought I'd give it a go. Being a James Bond fan, I thought I would adopt some famous pseudonym's from the films. Hopefully you guys and the readers will find some amusement from this, I will probably make a few cock-ups along the way (not as many as the scammer I am dealing with *see below), but will try to string it out as long as poss.

Charles Graham - scammer du jour
Francisco Scaramanga - arch-villain and bon vivant
Nik Nak - his personal assistant


Charles Graham

From: "Charles Graham" <charles_graham01@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Hello
Date: Thu, 26 Apr 2007
Hello.

I feel very sorry to interrupt your peace since you are not expecting to receive any mail from me. However, I was obliged to do so due to the importance and urgency of the message. I crave your indulgence, and want to reassure you that I mean well and that it is only for our mutual good. So please do not be embarrassed or suspicious.

The details of my proposal are as follows. I work as a private financial adviser in Birmingham .

Some years ago I was attending a business luncheon in Berlin, Germany where i met a German based business man ,Mr Christian Eich, we discussed about his intentions to invest in the United kingdom. Then some months later we met again in London, and I assisted him, to make a deposit of fifteen million five hundred thousand US dollars [ 15.5million US Dollars in a storage company in UK for onward investments after six months in 2002 .I had an agreement with him to set up an investment portfolio.I was his portfolio manager.

Upon Maturity of the first six months, I sent a routine notification to his forwarding address, to confirm if he wanted to continue rolling it over another duration, but I got no response from him.

After another six months, I sent another reminder to know if he wanted to continue rolling over the interest, but i still did not get any response from him. I had to make personal efforts to reach him, since i was his portfolio manager that personally guided him to make this deposit and surprisingly I discovered that my client was aboard the Concorde Air France flight AF4590 which crashed, killing all passengers on board and including his wife Andrea and only two children. Please click here http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm
After months of investigations, all attempts to trace any his relatives to him proved fruitless, as it was discovered that the depositor (Mr. Christain Eich) did not declare any next of kin or relations in all his official documents.
Since then, the money has been in the storage company and nobody has come to make claims and I believe 'NO ONE' will ever come forward to make claims, since the entire family was eventually wiped out. I have made efforts to locate a member of his family with strong biological links to my late client without success.

The search to find a close relation is one that has consumed time and resources. My proposal is to package and present you as next of kin to my deceased client and process the fixed deposit for transfer to you for our mutual benefit. The transaction will be executed under normal legitimate arrangements. So that you and I can benefit from this 'FREE MONEY', since it now belongs to nobody.

Moreover, it is pertinent to note that it is not risky .
NOTE: I know there may be scams and junk mails flying here and there on the internet but certainly, this is not one. Please do not fail to understand that in spite of all that, opportunities of this kind still abound. If you have ever wished or prayed for something good to come your way, now I urge you to take this message seriously and with an open mind. You could never know. This may be an answer to your prayers. So please give it a benefit of doubt, and join me with trust.
I am assuring you very strongly that you will never be disappointed.
Please reply urgently and furnish your TELEPHONE AND FAX NUMBERS, for further details.
Treat as strictly confidential.
Best regards,
Charles Graham


[A classic Dead Bank Customer letter. But you knew that.]


Francisco Scaramanga

Date: Thu, 26 Apr 2007
To: charles_graham00@yahoo.co.uk

Can you tell me how you managed to track me down, my profession normally requires a certain level of secrecy.

Tell me more about what you want of me. I may be able to help.

Regards
Francisco Scaramanga



Charles Graham

Date: Thu, 26 Apr 2007
From: "Charles Graham" <charles_graham00@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Thanks

Dear Francisco Scaramanga.

I wish to express my profound gratitude for your interest in my proposal .

Very importantly i wish to assure you very strongly that this transaction is 100% risk free .The lawyer will procure all the legal documents that will legally empower to claim the funds .

Upon the completion of the legal documentations the lawyer will file for your claim at the storage company .Then the company will make you the legal next of kin to Late Christian Eich's funds.

Once this process is completed the company will contact you directly for further instructions from you as the legitimate owner of the funds .

The lawyer will need the following information to enable him proceed with the legal documentations.

1.Kindly scan and send your international passport or drivers license for proper identification.
2,marital status.
3,occupation.
4,age
5,Address.
6,Private telephone/cell numbers.

In this transaction ,my word is my bond .We need to develop a very high level of trust in each other for this transaction to take place .

The speedy conclusion of this transaction depends on your level of co-operation.Therefore am soliciting for your full co-operation and support so that we can conclude within seven working days.

Finally i implore you to always expedite all actions from your side to avoid any unnecessary delays .

Thanks.
Charles.



Francisco Scaramanga

Date: Thu, 26 Apr 2007

Charles,

Thank you for your prompt reply.

A few things though, as the nature of my work is extremely sensitive and secretive I need to know how you got hold of my email address, believe me at least one person's job depends on your response.

Secondly, before we begin modalities I am going to need to know a bit more about you. As I am sure you understand, this is serious business and I am keen to get on with it, but only once the necessary checks have been made.

You no doubt have questions of me and my background. My work takes me all over the world (often at very short notice) I have very specific targets to hit and I never miss a target. I was born into circus life. My father, the ringmaster. My mother who was English. A snake charmer. It was there I developed my skills which were further honed in Russia, until such time I became freelance. [*That last section was lifted directly from the film script.]

But since the Hai-Fat incident I must confess to being wary of taking on a new project at this time.

I hope to hear from you soon.

Regards
Francisco Scaramanga



Charles Graham

Date: Thu, 26 Apr 2007

Dear Francisco Scaramanga.

Many thanks for your further interest in my proposal.

I want to be very honest ,It may sound unreal if i tell you that i do not have a capable Friend or relation that can handle such a huge amount of money but it is the truth and nothing but the truth.All the people i know lack the capability due to some reasons.

This was why i decided to look for a partner on the Internet to claim the funds and transfer it out in small bits for onward investment .

Well , i must also say that meeting you is by God's intervention because you sound like a trustworthy and honest man.From your email i think i can trust, but i also need to know if you are capable of handling this transaction.

Please if you are interested ,honest and capable of being my partner i will be very glad . I am married with two girls .I have been living in Birmingham for so many years .I work as a private financial adviser.I have a degree from University of Birmingham.I enjoy meeting people a lot and it has benefited in so many ways .
Please give me some more in formations about you .

1,Age .
2,Marital status
3, occupation.
4,What kind of projects have you handled in the past?
5, Your investments ideas .
6,Address
7,Private telephone and cell numbers.

Please ,kindly furnish me with the following in formations.I believe that we can have a good working relationship since my meeting you was by some kind of God's intervention .
Finally, i wish to pledge that my word is my bond .I also hope that you will be very honest with me .
Thanks.
Charles.



Francisco Scaramanga

Date: Fri, 27 Apr 2007
Hello Charles,
Thank you for your honesty, you have prevented me from changing my whole communication structure, reconfiguring the Solex and ultimately saving my assistant's job by being honest and telling me it was luck that our paths crossed. An old associate of mine called Kananga used to believe quite strongly in luck, fate, destiny, tarot what have you.
Now, despite having an English mother, and knowing the language I tend to be wary of the English these days (bad experience back in the 70's). But that was then and this is now, Please see below my responses to your questions:
1,Age - 54
2,Marital status - Single ( Although they say love is required whenever i'm hired)
3, Occupation. Security Consultant
4,What kind of projects have you handled in the past? There was the Hai-Fat incident, but I'd rather not talk about that. Lazar a Portugese Goldsmith living in Macau has worked with me on a few small gold projects. There was the Solex debacle that was (ironically as you are English) ruined by an irritating Englishman from a company called Universal Exports Ltd (don't suppose you have come across them?)
5, Your investments ideas .
The Bottoms Up Club in Kowloon is a wonderful establishment that entertains many businessmen who venture into Hong-Kong, the hostess Chew Mee is among the very best. Perhaps we can look at opening more clubs of this nature through the South China Sea area? I normally work alone (with a great success rate too may I add) but I am willing to take on partners who I feel I can trust.
6,Address
Ko Kow-Phing-Khan [*The real name of the island Scaramanga had in the film.]
Phra nakorn
(Near Khao San)
Thailand
I am rarely there but I do use this address for all my dealings.

7,Private telephone and cell numbers.

I tend to have very little communication with anyone (they rarely see me coming). Primarily for security purposes, I do most of my communication via email. The island I live on tends to have poor telephone lines, but you are more than welcome to call my Personal Assistant Nik Nak at the following number: (66)2537-8111-55, but depending on the weather you may not get through.

Nik Nak tends to deal with most of the day-to-day matters of my operation, leaving me to concentrate on what I do best. If you could copy him in on any future communication that would be most helpful as I am shortly leaving for Macau for an appointment with Lazar for the latest drop-off. Nik Nak does tend to have a bit of a way about him, but you will soon get used to it. He can be contacted on xxxxxx@xxxxxx.xxx

Let me know what you think of my proposals and feel free to voice any ideas of your own, like I say this is one of several targets on my hitlist, so I cannot devote a great amount of time, but I am happy to help. That said if Nik Nak wants to get his hands on my money, then he can get his little legs going and do more than serve the damn drinks.

I think a photograph of you would be helpful going forward. If I really feel I can trust you then I will send one of myself and Nik Nak to you.

Regards
Francisco Scaramanga



[*Then he forgot he had already emailed me, so i got this.]

Charles Graham

From: "Charles Graham" <charles_graham01@yahoo.co.uk>
Subject: Hello
Date: Fri, 27 Apr 2007
Hello. .

I feel very sorry to interrupt your peace since you are not expecting to receive any mail from me. However, I was obliged to do so due to the importance and urgency of the message. I crave your indulgence, and want to reassure you that I mean well and that it is only for our mutual good. So please do not be embarrassed or suspicious.

The details of my proposal are as follows.
I work as a private financial adviser in Birmingham .

Some years ago I was attending a business luncheon in Berlin, Germany where i met a German based business man ,Mr Christian Eich, ...



Francisco Scaramanga

Date: Fri, 27 Apr 2007

Charles,

What is the meaning of this email? I already replied to your original email and your subsequent requests. Nik Nak will not let me hear the end of this!

I do hope that you are not offering this opportunity to anyone else, I am really beginning to doubt your honesty over this proposed transaction.

Please tell me what the hell is going on before I leave for Macau!

Regards

Francisco Scaramanga



Charles Graham

Date: Fri, 27 Apr 2007
Subject: please pardon me

Hello Sir.

I am very sorry about this last email.I was getting worried when i did not get your response quick so i decided to send my proposal again as a reminder.Your first reply containing your informations came as bulk message and i did not check my bulk message before sending the reminder .Please pardon me.

I am very glad that you have accepted to be my partner in this very lucrative transaction .I will continue to pledge that my word is my bond.I can never lie to you.

Truly yours.
Charles.


[*As I am currently in Macau (yeah right), he decided to try getting hold of my trusted assistant Nik Nak]


Charles Graham

Date: Sat, 28 Apr 2007

Dear Nik Nak.

How are you doing ? Hope great .

I was told by Francisco Scaramanga to contact you as his personal assistant.I guess he must have told you about me and my proposal which he has accepted earlier .

Below is the mail that i sent to him earlier.Please discuss with him as quick as possible and get back to me so that we can start work first thing Monday morning as time is of essence.

Since he has mentioned that you are relevant in this transaction ,i will be glad to also tell you that you will get a substantial amount from me after the transaction .It is always good for everybody involved in a deal to be happy at the end.

I wait for your timely reply.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Hello Francisco Scaramanga.
Today after i received your favourable reply ,i went straight to the lawyers office to hold an elaborate meeting as regards procuring all relevant legal documents that will empower you legally to claim my late clients funds.

Thus ,The lawyer explained that in an inheritance claim such as yours where the deceased died inter estate,that is without leaving a will .

The following steps will be taken to achieve our goal under normal legitimate procedure.

1, An affidavit has to be sworn at the court in support of your claim as the next of kin to late Mr Christian Eich.

2. Then with this affidavit,a letter of administration will be applied for at the probate registry.

3.Immediately the probate registry issues this letter of administration in your name, it will prove legally in the UK that they have searched and there is no dispute in the administration of late Mr Eich's estate.With this letter of administration you have been legally recognised as the next of kin to late Mr Eich.

4.With this letter of administration which makes you the legal next of kin to the deceased,your claim will be filled for at the storage company for them to make you the beneficiary of the funds .They will have no option than to give you full authority to the funds since you have all the legal documents.

Further more , after a long negotiation the lawyer said that his fees will be 22,000 Pounds.After further negotiation i was able to convince him that we will pay him the fees at the end of the transaction and he agreed.

He also said that we will pay for the cost of the legal documents .That is all the government fees and duties for the legal documents.He said he will let me know the exact cost by Monday.

In this transaction i want us to conclude as quick as possible as time is not our best friend .Please try to also expedite all actions from your side to avoid unnecessary delays.

As regards your investment ideas i believe that they are very lucrative but i want to also suggest that we should also buy some real estate and stocks with part of the funds.From my past experience ,It is usually better to spread your investments in different areas .

I will try to send you my picture as soon as possible.You are also free to visit UK for the transaction.

All that i have written in this mail is the whole truth and the best legal procedure that will lead to our success in this lucrative transaction.

I am waiting for your urgent reply.

Many thanks in advance.

Truly yours.
Charles



Nik Nak

Date: Mon, 30 Apr 2007

Good morning Monsieur Graham,

As you know Monsieur Scaramanga has been away from the island since Friday and is due back later this week, but am unable to confirm a date at the moment.

Monsieur Scaramanga will want to know more details about the solicitor, his practice details, etc. Although I am sure he will be most pleased when I inform him that the fee (which does seem very high) does not need to be paid until completion.

With regards to the payment you are proposing to give me, Merci, but that will not be necessary. Monsieur Scaramanga pays me well for my work and would think me disloyal if I accepted anything behind his back.

Please pass on the solicitor information as soon as possible and either myself or Monsieur Scaramanga will get back to you asap.

Kind regards

Nik Nak



Charles Graham

Date: Mon, 30 Apr 2007
Subject: urgent

Dear Nik Nak.

Thanks for your reply.First ,i must commend your loyalty and honesty to your boss.This is a great quality that you posses.

The name of the lawyer is Barrister Andy Harris .The law firm was founded Founded in 1973, the Birmingham based firm is a fast-growing will and probate law firm.The success of the firm has been recognised a number of times.

At Andy Harris and co they value the following;

1. Clients with their individual needs, goals, businesses and aspirations;

2 Staff for their talents, passion, experience and ambitions;
Excellence in the form of quality, commitment, integrity and best practise, and Balance in their approach to work and life away from the work place.

The firm occupies new Grade A offices .Other visitors and clients have expressed their admiration for the firm's ability to exhibit diversity of skills whilst clearly remaining as one firm with clear goals and a healthy work ethic,having integrity as its hallmark, is a credit to both the legal profession and to Birmingham.

You can reach him on andyharrisandco@lawyer.com.In future i will give you his number if need be.At the moment he is more comfortable with email .He is a very busy lawyer.He explained that email will be more suitable for now .

Today , the lawyer has also been able to give me the exact amount that the legal documents would cost.He said that the government fees and duties for the legal documents will cost the sum of 9,650 pounds .He said that we will have to pay the fees to enable him start work at once.

Please advise your boss as soon as possible to avoid any delays at all, as time is not our best friend in this transaction.

Truly yours.
Charles.



Nik Nak

Date: Mon, 30 Apr 2007

Monsieur Graham,

I haven't yet been able to get hold of Monsieur Scaramanga yet, I think his target is proving quite elusive, but he never misses his target so I think he should be back soon, that said he may be enjoying himself a bit too much at that club of his.

I will be sure to pass the solicitor information onto Monsieur Scaramanga, I don't suppose it has a limited company number does it?

Kind regards

Nik Nak



Charles Graham

Date: Tue, 1 May 2007
Subject: urgent

Dear Nik Nak.

I write to find out if you have been able to discuss with your boss .I await for your timely reply.

Thanks.
Charles.



Nik Nak

Date: Wed, 2 May 2007

Bonjour Monsieur Charles,

I have received word from Monsieur Scaramanga, there is good news! He has successfully hit his target. He said that the blighter actually tried to match him in a battle of wits and honour and there was only ever going to be one winner when a target takes that approach with him!

As a little reward to himself that he was going to stay on a few days and have some fun in that club of his (The Bottoms Up).

He said that once he gets back that he will resume modalities with you and get in contact with the lawyer (he thinks the fee is too high). He also asked if you could possibly send a photo of yourself, as he says he would like to be able to put a face to your name. We will of course do the same.

Kind regards

Nik Nak



Charles Graham

Date: Wed, 2 May 2007

Dear Nik Nak .

Many thanks for your email.Please extend my congratulatory message to your boss for his recent success.

Please also remind him that in this transaction ,time is of essence .He should not over rejoice because there is still plenty of time to rejoice .We need to face this transaction with urgency .

The fees are not too high ,they are the correct fees .Tell your boss that all his expenses will be refunded back to him after the transaction.

I will endeavour to send my picture tomorrow.
Please expedite all actions from your side .
Thanks.
Charles.



Charles Graham

Date: Thu, 3 May 2007
Subject: Hello

Dear Nik Nak.

Hope you and your boss are doing great ? I am sorry for not sending my picture today.My scanner is faulty but i will send it tomorrow .Is your boss back yet ?

I wish you all the best .

Thanks .
Charles



Nik Nak

Date: Fri, 4 May 2007

Bonjour Monsieur Charles,

Monsieur Scaramanga has informed me that he will be back on the island in a few hours time, he doesn't sound happy. Probably something I have done. C'est la vie!

I will tell him about our communication. I think he'll probably catch up with you after the weekend now.

Kind Regards
Nik Nak



Francisco Scaramanga

Date: Fri, 4 May 2007

Charles,

Scaramanga here, I have just got in from Macau I am tired, it's very late and I will shortly be retiring to bed.

I will email that lawyer first thing Tuesday (going hunting tomorrow) to get to the bottom of that fee. It is simply outrageous demanding that...typical of the English! I am around most of next week to deal with this.

I spoke to Nik Nak, he says he has doubts about you and your integrity, he said you offered him a bribe! Now I am too tired to listen to his whiny little voice but I do hope he is just winding me up (Nik Nak can be a bit of a tinker, but it is not like him to lie), I must admit that this does trouble me greatly. The last thing I would want is to fly over to England to see you...if you get what I mean.

Regards

Francisco Scaramanga



Charles Graham

Date: Mon, 7 May 2007
Subject: urgent

Dear Scaramanga .

How are you doing ? I must say that i did not offer Nik Nak bribe . I only told him that i believe all the relevant parties in this transaction should be very happy at the end .Therefore i would give him some money at the end . I do not consider this a bribe .Also i need more prove about your ability to handle this transaction .You do not sound very professional .What kind of security consultant are you .What is the name of your company and address and tell numbers .You should have a registered company .I need of these information before i can give you more .I cannot afford to deal with someone incompetent.You should prove your competence .

Thanks.
Charles



Francisco Scaramanga

Date: Tue, 8 May 2007

Charles,

I must say that I am outraged at this email. I have been dealing with you in good faith since you sought me out to help you. What I said then stands now, I am a busy man but would look to help you out as this seemed like an easy way to make some cash without the normal risks that I have to endure in my working life.

You say that I do not sound professional, yet you have just admitted to offering my personal assistant cash on the side. I'll have you know that Nik Nak is very well paid (a bit too well if you ask me) for the work he does. As Nik Nak also knows, he stands to inherit the lot when I do eventually meet with the bullet that has my name on it (so to speak). That said, I am willing to overlook this matter for now, as I know what Nik Nak can be like.

I do not need to prove anything to you Charles, my work is known throughout the far east and various channels throughout the globe. Whenever I am given a target, I hit it, I get paid. The nature of my work requires a lot of secrecy (I told you that at the start) and to be quite frank with you, my other work has no baring on this matter whatsoever. I also remind you that I gave you my address and my telephone number, whether or not you chose to do your homework was upto you.

Frankly Charles, I think this maybe more hassle than it's worth. I am here till Saturday at which point I leave to go to Lagos for a few days on business. I await your apology and reply before I entertain the idea of continuing modalities.

Regards

Francisco Scaramanga


[I've not received anymore emails from him since so I think that may be it, sensitive bunch these Lagos lads seem to be.]



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