YOU ARE A POOR RAT-MUGU

updated june 12

From the Unkindly Contributor of THE DEAD BANK CUSTOMER REDEMPTION - the screenplay:

"MENTORING THE "CHEIF"

It's not just a scam; it's an opportunity to mentor a budding businessman.
And nothing ticks off lads faster than telling them how to do their business.

Featuring
CHIEF FREDRICK (TITTLE HOLDER IN CHEIF) aka PAMELA & MOSES/JOSEPH SAVIMBI
vs
THE UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR
(SMELLING PIG DOG FOOD JO-JO DEVILISH HARLOT BASTARD, just so you know where this is going)

Perp:
Chief fredrick e nda, sometimes calling himself Chief P. E. NDA, not bright enough to keep his name straight.
Email fredricks2004@yahoo.com and committeeleader2003@zwallet.com, phone and fax is 234-80-33447751
Also scamming as Pamela and her sons Moses & Joseph Savimbi, pampam2003@indiatimes.com

Number of abusive emails sent before he cracked: 15. Maybe it had something to do with the goat remarks.
Or the contract mods. Or the 11 faxes. We'll never know. And we'll never care.
Because when you're a mentor it's the giving that matters, that little spark that tells the student
that next time he should take pride in spelling his profanity correctly."


CHIEF FREDRICK E NDA

Date:  Mon, 26 May 2003 18:43:50 -0400
From:  fredrick e nda
[committeeleader2003@zwallet.com] 
Subject:  YOUR URGENT REPLY IS HIGHLY NEEDED
To:  committeeleader2003@zwallet.com

FCRAC HEAD QUARTERS
MONTEGORA BUILDING, 8TH FLOOR,          
LAGOS - NIGERIA.
Tel/Fax:234-80-33447751.

Confidential

Dear Sir,

RE: TRANSFER OF US27,700,000.00 (TWENTY MILLION, SEVEN
HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS}.

I am extending this proposal to you in my capacity as
an Accountant 
and Chief of the Review/Audit Committee scrutinizing
all records 
covering executed contracts Awarded by Previous
Military Government 
of Nigeria. My colleagues and I have uncovered a
floating amount of US27.700Million without a clear
Beneficiary owing to a deliberate act of
Over-invoicing and illegal inflation of contract value
by corrupt Government Officials.

This money have already been approved for payment by
Nigerian National 
Petroleum Corporation (NNPC) and is secured under
Contract No: FGN/NNPC/022/WR/98. 
As top Civil Servants, We are not authorized to
operate Foreign 
Bank Account and this is why we want to use your bank
Account to transfer this money outside Nigeria. 
We have accepted you as our Foreign Partner and will
regularize 
the approvals to reflect you as the true beneficiary
under the Contract.

We have resolved to give you 25% of the total sum for
your assistance. 
If you are interested in this deal, please contact me
immediately 
you receive this message for more information. 

I am anxiously waiting for your urgent response.

Yours sincerely,

Chief Fredrick Nda

Accountant & Chief Review/Audit Committee


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR
Sounds interesting.  How can I help?

CHIEF FREDRICK E NDA
Date:  Thu, 29 May 2003 07:58:26 +0000
From:  fredrick e nda
[committeeleader2003@zwallet.com] 
Subject:  Thanks for your prompt response.

FROM THE DESK OF FREDRICK .E.NDA.

DEAR SIR,

I AM IN RECEIPT OF YOUR REPLY.KINLDY FORWARD YOUR
PRIVATE TELEPHONE 
AND FAX NUMBERS TO ME INCLUDING THE ACCOUNT WHERE YOU
WANT THE MONEY 
TO BE CREDITED THAT WILL ENABLE ME ARRANGE FOR
IMMEDIATE TRANSFER 
OF THE MONEY INTO YOUR ACCOUNT.

THIS TRANSFER WILL ONLY TAKE US 14 BANK WORKING DAYS
TO ACTUALISE 
UPON THE RECEIPT OF THE REQUIRED INFORMATION.

FEEL FREE TO CALL ME ON MY PRIVATE CELL PHONE
234-80-33447751.

GOD BLESS YOU 

I AM WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU.

CHIEF FREDRICK .E.NDA.


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Chief,

Sure, here ya go:

CITI BANK
WALL STREET
NEW YORK NY 
10048-0001 
USA
CHIPS NO: 0008 
ABA NO: 021000089 
SWIFT CODE: CITI US33 
A/C NO: 36003318 

Phone number is 213 745 876 1, fax is 831 xxx xxx x.  

Thanks to payphone-project.com for the phone number, in the LA convention center.
Standard bank account of another scammer.



CHIEF FREDRICK E NDA
Date:  Thu, 29 May 2003 10:25:33 +0000
From:  fredrick e nda [committeeleader2003@zwallet.com] 
Subject:  your bank details is received.

Dear Unkindly Contributor

Thanks for your good information.Kindly forward the
phone and fax 
numbers of the bank where the money will be credited.

Note, that l still need to have your full name/data/
company name 
to enable me arrange the transfer approvals from the
authorities 
concerned.Understand that l want to get every legal
documents ready 
to make sure the money will be transferred into your
account successfully without any hitches.

l have a name to protect and would not like to ternish
my good name.

l tried to reach you on your telephone you send to me
but could 
not get through l think it is better you send me your
mobile cell 
phone fore easy communication.

God Bless you and your entire family.

awaiting to hear from you.

CHIEF FREDRICK E.NDA.

ternish? fore? If I'm going to waste time on you, at least try to use English words.
Once he got away from the cut and paste boilerplate his grammar "skills" really showed.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR
Chief,

I already gave you the bank information.  My name is
Unkindly Contributor.  I gave you my phone number,
please try again or just email.
Note the repeated use of lowercase L's for "I", which is a distinguishing feature
if you hear from this guy in the future.



CHIEF FREDRICK E NDA

Date:  Thu, 29 May 2003 12:43:10 -0400
From:  fredrick e nda [committeeleader2003@zwallet.com] 
Subject:  Yes l hereby confirmed the receipt of your
information.

Attn Mr.Unkindly Contributor.

Dear Friend.

l really thank you for your effort so far.But do
understand the 
point the paying bank here must work together with the
receiving 
bank that means is going to be bank to bank direct
transaction so 
it is very important you send your bank telephone and
fax numbers.

l want every documents that will covers this transfer
authentic 
that is to say a smooth money transfer.

All necessary documents required in this transfer will
be obtained 
by me here,you dont need to worry just send me any
information needed from you.

As soon as l received it by tomorrow l will start to
apply for approval 
documents that will empowered the bank to effect Key
Tested Telegraphic Telex Transfer. (K.T.T)

Documents approvals will be send to you as l progress.

God Bless you.

CHIEF FREDRICK E. NDA.


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Chief,

Jeez, do I have to do everything for you?  A simple
lookup would tell you the number, 210-xxx-xxxx.  Fax
is the same number.

Now send the money quickly, time is money.


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Chief,

What's the hold up?  I gave you everything you needed,
now send the money.  Don't you understand the meaning
of the word URGENT?


CHIEF FREDRICK E NDA

Date:  Fri, 30 May 2003 11:07:44 -0400
From:  fredrick e nda [committeeleader2003@zwallet.com] 
Subject:  we  are working on it

DEAR GOOD FRIEND CONTRIBUTOR.

DONT WORRY WE ARE WORKING ON THE PAYMENT APPROVALS
DOCUMENT BY GODS 
GRACE ON MONDAY I WILL SEND YOU SOME OF THE DOCUMENTS
FOR YOUR RECORD.

TODAY WE HAVE FILED IN APPLICATION OF CONTRACT FUNDS
CLAIM TO THE AUTHORITIES CONCERNED.

I JUST TRIED YOUR PHONE NUMBER RIGHT NOW BUT COULD NOT
GET THROUGH 
WHAT IS THE PROBLEM OF YOUR PHONE? THE FAX NUMBER IS
OKAY .

KINDLY ATTEND TO THIS QUESTION.

MY PARTNERS WISH TO KNOW WHERE TO MEET YOU AFTER
TRANSFERING THE 
MONEY INTO YOUR ACCOUNT PLEASE LET US KNOW
IMMEDIATELY.NOTE THAT 
WE ARE GOING TO INVEST SOME MONEY HERE BEFORE THE
TRANSFER WILL 
BE ACCOMPLISHED SO WE WANT KNOW YOUR CAPEABILY OF
RELEASING OUR SHARE.

GOD BLESS YOU.

LOOKING FORWARD TO HEAR FROM YOU.

CHIEF FREDRICK E.NDA.


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Chief,

There's not a damn thing wrong with my phone. As for a
meeting place, let us meet somewhere warm.  I suggest
the Cayman Islands.  Now stop messing around and get
some work done on this!  Time is money!

And who the hell is this "we"?  I thought this was to
be a confidential business, not something you share
with your neighbors.  


CHIEF FREDRICK E NDA

Date:  Fri, 30 May 2003 12:50:35 -0400
From:  fredrick e nda [committeeleader2003@zwallet.com] 
Subject:  PLEASE IAM NOT MESSING OKAY.

Dear Unkindly Contributor

Please lam not messing arround i want to obtain all
the legal documents 
for this transaction.i am a tittle holder and would
not like to 
do something that will not be fruitful.

You should know that we are three two other person and
me.and we 
has been maitain secrecy from the one.we can only send
one or two 
of us to come over remember that we all civil servant
and does not 
allowered to operate foreign account so after
transfering this money 
you have to assist us fully to invest our share in
your country 
or any other country you think that will be okay.

by monday some of the approvals will be send to
you.just pray that 
we shall conclude the transfer next week.

finally,let keep our fingers across everything will
workout according 
to plans understand that with my position in this
office l most 
make sure there will be no trace after the payment of
this money into your account.

God Bless.

CHIEF FREDRICK E.NDA.

Kids, don't drop out of school early or you may write like him (if you're allowered to).


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Chief,

That may be your opinion but so far I haven't seen any
evidence of any work you have done.  You can hold all
the tittles you want.  Why the blazes will it take you
four days to do one minute's worth of work is beyond
me.  Do not keep testing my patience with weakass
excuses for not doing anything.


CHIEF FREDRICK E NDA

Date:  Fri, 30 May 2003 13:20:38 -0400
From:  fredrick e nda [committeeleader2003@zwallet.com] 
Subject:  Thanks

DEAR FRIEND.

DO YOU KNOW THAT WE MUST OBTAIN SOME TRANSFER OF FUNDS
APPROVAL 
FROM THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF FINANCE AND OTHER
MINISTRIES CONCERNED.I 
CAN ARRANGE WITH THE APEX BANK GOVERNOR TO EFFECT
K.T.T IMMEDIATELY 
WITHOUT SECURING NECESSARY DOCUMENTS BUT AT END OF THE
DAY YOU WONT 
HAVE ENOUGH DOCUMENTS THAT WILL EMPOWERED YOU TO CLAIM
THIS FUND.SO 
DONT WORRY BY MONDAY SOME OF THE DOCUMENT WILL BE SEND
TO YOU.

GOD BLESS YOU.

CHIEF FREDRICK E.NDA.


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Chief,

I don't really care.  I did my part, I expect you to
do your part and do it fast.  Stop wasting time
sitting around typing emails and get out of your chair
and get this business going.  I don't want "some" of
the documents "by Monday".  Get that through your
head.  If they see you slumping around doing nothing
they will know you are not a serious businessman.  Now
get to work on something besides excuses!


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Chief,

Where is the money?  You said it would be here by
Monday and I expect you to be a man of your word.  Now
get cracking.

Chief F. E. NDA responds so fast he forgets his name:


CHIEF F. (P.?) E. NDA

Date:  Mon, 02 Jun 2003 11:26:55 +0000
From:  fredrick e nda committeeleader2003@zwallet.com
Subject:  EVERY THING WILL BE OKAY SOONEST.

Dear Good Friend.

l am still a man of my word.l told you that we have to
obtain some 
legal documents before the huge amount could be
transfered into 
your account this is not by magic.

Today we have sussesfully secured contract
agreement.and other necessary 
documents l will send it to you very soon.go near your
fax machine and have them.

l tried to reach you on your telephone number but did
not get through.Kindly 
give me another number i want to speak with you now.

My Regards.

CHIEF P.E.NDA.

Received a plethora o' faxes, courtesy of efax:
Fax 1 - Opening page, Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation approved contract
Fax 2 - Same thing. Some people just can't handle advanced technology like fax machines
Fax 3 - Two blank pages.
Fax 4 - Title page, agreement between Unkindly Contributor and NNPC, dated 1998
Fax 5 - Sections C, D, and 5-8 of the agreement.
Fax 6 - Sections 9 to 20. Hey, section 13 says liens have to be cleared before I can be paid.
Fax 7 - Sections 21 to 24. Here we go. Section 22 says I owe them a $50,000 nonrefundable fee.
In return for which I get $27.7 million in section 23.
This page features the seals of the Nigerian High Court and Department of Justice,
plus lots of signatures and stamps so you just Know it's Official.
Fax 8 - Contract award certificate with indecipherable signatures.
Note: Fax machine stamp says the originating machine thinks it's 1999.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Chief,

It took you four days to generate this?  Are you
serious?  There are missing pages, missing sections,
and barely legible instructions.  I will forward these
on to my attorney since you have not been able to
competently produce a document that could be faxed. 
By the way, you are supposed to fax things so that the
side with the words on it gets sent, not the blank
back of the page.  I thought that was obvious but it
seems to have escaped your notice.  What an
embarrassing piece of work.  I certainly hope this is
not your best effort.

Here come more faxes:

Fax 9 - same as Fax 1.


CHIEF F. (P.?) E. NDA

Date:  Mon, 02 Jun 2003 14:29:28 -0400
From:  fredrick e nda [committeeleader2003@zwallet.com] 
Subject:  I RECEIVED YOUR MESSAGE.

Dear Friend.

listen lam old man,l am getting to sixty years next
week.l also 
believed that you are matured and understand that this
is not a 
childish transaction.lt take us time and money to get
to this stage.

l dont see the reason of tell me that we are not
serious,we spent 
U$50.000.00 dollars to obtain the contract agreement l
sent to you 
today go through it very well you will see the amount.

by tomorrow we are going to obtain approvals from
N.N.PC and F.M.F 
after that all the documents will be forwarded to the
paying bank 
and they will not hesitate to transfer the fund into
you account.

please let me know how many of the documents you have
received clearly so that we can re-send some.

lf you are bringing lawyer into this transaction that
means you 
want us to discontinue because lawyers are not
trustworthy and we 
would'nt like to expose the transaction.

l dont know why you should bring lawyer into this
transaction.

CHIEF P.E.NDA.

Well, glad to hear they covered that Section 22 fee.
Time to mentor:



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR
Chief,

I demand an apology.  I sent you all my contact
information including my bank account.  You sent me
garbled faxes that can hardly be read, and half of the
pages are blank.  I can't believe anyone spent more
than a few nickels to put this document together.  If
you seriously intend to present these documents to
anyone, you should print them in a much more
professional manner.  Otherwise people will think you
are not legit.  Why would you not want to expose the
transaction?  When all that money transfers the bank
will publicize it.  Now quit playing games, quit
sending me garbage and pretending they are legible
documents.  I did not become this wealthy by dealing
with people who can't act professionally.  Maybe you
need a partner there who can teach you how to do
business.

Fax 10: 11 page document of the whole contract.


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR
Chief,

Why did you send another 11 pages of the same godawful
fax?  When will you be serious?  Don't you own a
decent printer and fax machine?  I am not used to
dealing with such unprofessional behavior, and I am
still awaiting your apology.

CHIEF F. E. NDA (no P this time)

Date:  Mon, 02 Jun 2003 17:36:11 -0400
From:  fredrick e nda [committeeleader2003@zwallet.com] 
Subject:  take it easy

l dont understand you,l contacted you for a beneficial
deal not 
to use words any how to easy other at this initial
stage.

my fax machine is okay and after sending l foundout
okay result.so 
l really know what you are talking about maybe the
problem is from your end.

l have told you many times that your phone number is
not working 
but you did not say any thing about that.we cannot end
the transaction 
through email and fax we have to hear each other's
voice okay.

you have to tell me how many of the documents you have
receieved clearly.

CHIEF FREDRICK


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR
Chief,

Why are you talking in circles?  I have never seen a
contract that 
was put together so poorly, it looks like goats ran
over it.  It 
is missing sections like the ex patria and mandamus
sections.  If 
your fax machine really is working properly then the
original must 
be awful.  I think that poorly represents the level of
professionalism 
needed for such business, I am sure you will agree
that shoddy workmanship should not be tolerated.

Every other person in the world calls me on the phone
just fine, 
I am not really interested in why you can't manage to
make a call 
properly.  As for doing business via email, I do it
every day and 
it is standard protocol for business transactions.  I
can put together 
the missing sections and email them to you, since the
contract will 
be invalid without them.  I look forward to mentoring
you.

Next up: Fax 11. And he just KNOWS I'm going to rip him on this before he even sends it
, but he sends it anyway:


CHIEF FREDRICK E.NDA

FAX MEMO
3RD JUNE, 2003

FROM THE DESK OF CHIEF FREDRICK E.NDA
ATTENTION MR.UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR
DEAR SIR,
I AM HAVING PROBLEM WITH MY EMAIL BOX SINCE TODAY THE
SERVER IS NOT WORKING WELL. I HAVE BEEN TRYING TO
REACH YOU ON YOUR TELEPHONE WITHOUT SUCCESS.  I URGE
YOU TO GIVE ME ANOTHER TELEPHONE NUMBER FOR EASY
COMMUNICATION.
IF YOU HAVE ANY MESSAGE FOR ME KINDLY DIRECT TO THIS
EMAIL ADDRESS (rest garbled)

Fredricks2004@yahoo.com
Tel 234-80-33447751

I AM ANXIOUSLY WAITING FOR YOUR REPLY
THANKS
YOURS FAITHFULLY
CHIEF FREDRICK E. NDA

Translation: he'd lost is zwallet account so he didn't have my email reply address
but he did have my phony fax number.


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Chief,

Why would you waste my time and fax paper with such a
profoundly worthless fax?  Half of the lines weren't
even readable.  If you can't properly operate a phone
or fax machine how do you expect to represent yourself
as a proper businessman?  Honestly man, it's
embarrassing.  I'm working on the missing sections for
the contract since you flubbed that too.  I would feel
better about this if I wasn't the one doing all the
work and cleaning up after your mistakes!  I anxiously
await your apology.


CHIEF F. E. NDA

Date:  Tue, 3 Jun 2003 10:26:52 -0700 (PDT)
From:  nda fredricks [fredricks2004@yahoo.com]
Subject:  thanks for your message.
 
Mr Unkindly Contributor 
 
Please if you are not willing to handle this
transaction let me know immediately l dont see any
reason the issue for apology should not arise in this
transaction.lnfact lam not in position for such
apology.
 
What iam interested is how to transfer money to your
account you have your share and we have our own share
nothing more than that okay.
 
you gave me incorrect telephone number because you
dont want me to speak with you.
lf the documents i sent to you was not clear that is a
simple matter we can despatch it through courier
service when all the documents is ready.
 
l dont like embarrassment and the transaction is not
by force after all transferring money to your account
it could be risk and l dont know how old you are.we
need matured person to handle a matured deal beside
time has come when boys should be sepereted from men
 
What i am saying is this, if you want to do businness
let me know if not, l will discontinue
 
Chief Fredrick E.Nda


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Chief,

Of course I want to do business!  You think I'm
putting up with your problems because I don't want to
do business?  I have given you everything you need to
transfer money to my account and you've given me
nothing but illegible faxes and poor excuses.  In
proper business it is appropriate to apologize for
wasting your partners' time, as you have done through
your bungling.  I have told you I am drafting the
additional contract provisions without which the
contract would be unenforceable and illegal.  I have
told you I am willing to mentor you.  And I am willing
to forgive your errors and errant assertions (my phone
works perfectly fine for everyone else but you, maybe
you should look at yourself before you cast aspersions
at others!).  So let's try to get past your problems
and onto our business.  Your problems are really not
interesting to me, expanding on my millions is.  If
you can't handle business then I am willing to mentor
you but you must first acknowledge your need for help.


CHIEF F. E. NDA

Date:  Wed, 4 Jun 2003 01:07:55 -0700 (PDT)
From:  nda fredricks [fredricks2004@yahoo.com] 
Subject:  l received your mail
 
Mr.Unkindly.
 
l dont think l had any problem with you because we has
a long way to go.You should understand that here in
africa our network services is too poor sometimes .so
if you are not yet in receipt of the documents let me
know.
 
ls very important we find a solution to it now.l dont
want the paying bank to have such problem when
contacting you for the transfer.
 
We are going to have approval certificate from N.N.P.C
and F.M.F today so please Kindly notify me of the
condition of the documents with you.or do we send them
by speed post?.
 
please re-send your phone number again
 
Regards.
 
FREDRICK  E. NDA.


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR
Chief,

How many times do I have to tell you this?  Phone
number is 213 745 876 1, fax is 831 xxx xxx x.  The
money STILL has not shown up in my account.  What the
hell are you waiting for, Christmas?  And don't give
me MORE excuses about why you can't do your job. 
First it's the phone, then it's the fax, then it's the
network.  I don't care if you have to use tin cans
with a string between them to communicate, a real
businessman stops whining and gets the job done!

CHIEF F. E. NDA


Date:  Wed, 4 Jun 2003 09:39:58 -0700 (PDT)
From:  nda fredricks fredricks2004@yahoo.com
Subject:  your are still what you are.
 
Mr. Unkindly.
 
Please sorry l will not send anymore documents until
we agree lam not a kid.you dont because i contacted
you first and you keep on directing me any how after
all l want to make you rich.
 
with this behaviour of you l dont think you will allow
us to have access to our share.uptil now you did not
ask any question you dont even care to know the
procedure l wonder the kind of business you do for
your living and how old you are.
 
l told you that your telephone number is not connected
and you keep on arguing with me.if you dont believe me
on that l dont think you will believe me in other
things.beside lam afriad you can mess the
transaction.how can you deal with the paying bank if
they contact you for the of this money remittance.
 
You have to call me on my private telephone
234-80-33447751 l want to hear your voice now.
 
FREDRICKS.

I've been dealing with other 419ers who are mildly coherent
and this one isn't bright enough to spoof along;
plus he's irritable so we'll push in that direction.
It's all toward the aim of wasting as much of his time as possible.


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Chief,

I am already rich.  I don't care how old you are. 
What I care about is how you can possibly expect any
businessman to take you seriously when you present
yourself so shabbily.  If you are to be a partner in
this then you represent me and you are doing a poor
job of that.  I don't know what the hell you're
talking about not paying banks, I pay banks every damn
day.  How do you think I made my millions?  Certainly
not by putting forth the kind of front you display. 

I think you'd agree that if you received the
incompetent mess you sent me with all of your excuses
you would be inclined to hold the sender in a dim
view. Every page looked like it was chewed up.  Were
your ancestors goats?  It is time for a fresh start,
so I have just about finished my edits to the document
so it will be worthy.  Your excuses are not
interesting to me, your failures are not something you
should keep bragging about!  Try sending something
other than nonsense, bizarre accusations, and excuses!
 Let me know when you are ready to act like a
businessman.

Couple of minutes later:


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Chief,

Here, I have completed the missing sections.  These
must be added for the contract to be acceptable. 
They're in Latin or else the lawyers will reject the
whole contract.

25. TUTTE LE SEZIONI ANTERIORI CHE SONO FALSE E NON
VALIDE,
L'INVALIDIT╠█ DI QUALUNQUE ALTRA SEZIONE NON
IMPEDIRANNO L'ESECUZIONE
DEI DIRITTI SOTTO LA PARTE 23. TUTTO IL QUESTO ╠÷
NATURALMENTE Uno
SCHERZO E NESSUNO CON Un CERVELLO CREDEREBBERO MAI Che
I DOLLARI Di
GOCCE GIUSTE $27.7 MILIONI Dal CIELO Nella VOSTRA
CORTESIA Del GIRO Di
un Who CAN╠Ô'T Del PERDENTE ORTOGRAFASSERO Un WORD
CORRETTAMENTE E
TANTO MENO SCRIVESSERO Una FRASE COMPRENSIBILE. ED I
$50000 CHE LA
TASSA ╠÷ SILLY, QUESTO TIPO NON POSSONO CONTARE OLTRE
20 CON I SUOI
PATTINI SOPRA. SE ╠÷ LA NIGERIA MIGLIORE PU╠' ALLORA
FARLA ╠÷ IN
DIFETTOSO DIFETTOSO MODELLA.

26. CHE COSA OTTENETE QUANDO CADETE Un PIANO GI╠(tm)
Un ALBERO Della
MINIERA? Un MINATORE PIANO. AMO QUELL'. MA SERIAMENTE,
SIETE STATI
GRANDI. SAR╠' QUI TUTTA LA SETTIMANA, PROVO Il
VITELLO. GODA GLI
SBALZI.

It's Italian, but he's not bright enough to see that.
Translation courtesy of free-translator.com.
Original:


25.  ALL PRIOR SECTIONS BEING UNTRUE AND INVALID, THE
INVALIDITY OF ANY OTHER SECTION SHALL NOT IMPEDE THE
EXECUTION OF RIGHTS UNDER SECTION 23.  ALL OF THIS IS
OF COURSE A JOKE AND NO ONE WITH A BRAIN WOULD EVER
BELIEVE $27.7 MILLION DOLLARS JUST DROPS OUT OF THE
SKY INTO YOUR LAP COURTESY OF A LOSER WHO CAN'T SPELL
A WORD CORRECTLY LET ALONE WRITE A COMPREHENSIBLE
SENTENCE.  AND THE $50000 FEE IS SILLY, THIS GUY
CANNOT COUNT PAST 20 WITH HIS SHOES ON.  IF HE IS THE
BEST NIGERIA CAN DO THEN IT IS IN BAD BAD SHAPE.

26.  WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU DROP A PIANO DOWN A MINE
SHAFT?  A FLAT MINER.  I LOVE THAT ONE.  BUT
SERIOUSLY, YOU HAVE BEEN GREAT.  I WILL BE HERE ALL
WEEK, TRY THE VEAL.  ENJOY RUSH.


CHIEF F. E. NDA

CHIEF F. E. NDA

Date:  Wed, 4 Jun 2003 12:48:45 -0700 (PDT)
From:  nda fredricks [fredricks2004@yahoo.com] 
Subject:  CHIEF.NDA
 
WHAT YOU DONT KNOW,YOU DONT KNOW IT.YOU ARE NOT A
SERIOUS BUSINESSMAN.THEREFORE YOU DONT DESERVE THIS
KIND OF MONEY.
 
CHIEF.


Current events for $419:
On May 30, 2003, Maurice Ibekwe, a member of Nigeria's house of representatives,
was arrested for defrauding a German national of $350,000. Ha! Story:
http://www.thisdayonline.com/news/20030530news03.html

Time to formally launch my new business mentoring 419ers:



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Chief,

Are you saying you don't want to learn to be a
businessman?  I already have over $100 million, this
would just be vacation money.  

Look, here's what you should do: crawl down the street
on your hands and knees, loudly wailing and begging
for money.  Catch the pennies that children throw at
your unsightly body.  Maybe then you won't have to
resort to doing 419 scams.  You suck at them anyway. 
You make Maurice Ibekwe look brilliant.

That kicked the ProfanoMeter into high gear for 4 emails in 12 minutes
as the Chief revealed his true character (in case there was any doubt about that).


CHIEF F. E. NDA


Date:  Wed, 4 Jun 2003 14:09:03 -0700 (PDT)
From:  nda fredricks [fredricks2004@yahoo.com] 
Subject:  CHIEF.NDA
 
YOU ARE A BUSH MAN I DONT HAVE FUCKING TIME FOR POOR
GUYS LIKE YOU WHERE DID YOU THIEF 100 MILLION HOW CAN
A MONKY DO BUSINESS AND MAKE SUCH AMOUNT.WELL YOU ARE
ONE OF THE AFRICAN SLAVES IN AMERICA WE WILL SOON GET
YOU PEOPLE BACK TO FATHER LAND.
 
NOMATTER HOW MUCH THEY BUY YOU GUYS WE MUST PAY THEM
BACK AND PICK OUR BROTHERS.BUT I DONT THINK FOOL LIKE
YOU WILL LIKE TO COME BACK HOME BECAUSE OF OYIBO
FOODS.
 
DONT WORRY I WILL LET BUSH HEAR THIS SO YOU HAVE 100
MILLIONS AND YOU WILL BE ARRESTED YOU DONKY.
 
YOU DONT EVEN GO TO SCHOOL .CANNOT EVEN SPEAK GOOD
ENGLISH AMERICAN LATINS IS NOT ENGLISH GO BACK TO
SCHOOL SLAVE.
 
GO AND PAY FOR YOUR TELEPHONE BILL YOU CANNOT RECEIVE
CALLS MILLION DOLLAR MAN.


CHIEF F. E. NDA

Date:  Wed, 4 Jun 2003 14:11:27 -0700 (PDT)
From:  nda fredricks [fredricks2004@yahoo.com] 
Subject:  big monkey

(He forgot to include a message. I'm sure it was well-reasoned and insightful.
And hey, it's the only one he wrote without a misspelled word!)


CHIEF F. E. NDA

Date:  Wed, 4 Jun 2003 14:15:50 -0700 (PDT)
From:  nda fredricks [fredricks2004@yahoo.com] 
Subject:  hundred million dollar man
 
TO HELL WITH POOR PEOPLE LIVING IN AMERICA.SO SORRY
YOU DONT KNOW YOUR FATHER LAND IN AFRICA MANY HAVE
COME BACK AND WE GAVE THE LAND TO BUILD HOUSE YOU
NOWAY ANY TIME I SEE YOU IN AFRICA I WILL JAIL YOU.YOU
BETTER STAY THEREIN UNTIL YOU DIE OKAY.
 
YOU MUST BE A SLAVE THERE OKAY IAM BETTER THAN YOU IAM
IN MY FATHER LAND OKAY.
 
RICH SLAVE.


CHIEF F. E. NDA

Date:  Wed, 4 Jun 2003 14:21:53 -0700 (PDT)
From:  nda fredricks [fredricks2004@yahoo.com] 
Subject:  ya mama toto to to to to to to to to to and
totototo.

ya mama toto yamama toto----------toto----------toto
ohhhhhhhhh fuck your mother animal your mother toto
your mother
toto------------------------toto---------------------your
-------------mama
totootototototototototototooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooottttttttttttttttttttttttttooooooooooooooootttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttttooooo


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Yo mugu, what grade did you drop out of?  No wonder
the 419 scammers got you to do emails for them for so
cheap, you weren't smart enough to get more money for
your part in this scam.  Maurice Ibekwe is going to
jail and you'll either find a new line of work or
you'll join him there.  Then you'll have to actually
have to rely on your wits, which in your case means
you will starve.  

Maybe you could get a job teaching English.  Of
course, you'll have to learn it first.

You got what you deserved - exactly $0.  Now go get a
real job.  


CHIEF F. E. NDA

Date:  Wed, 4 Jun 2003 21:24:51 -0700 (PDT)
From:  nda fredricks [fredricks2004@yahoo.com] 
Subject:  you your mother is a harlot
 
OKAY NOW I REMEMBERED WHOM YOU ARE.THE SON OF HARLOT.
IBEKWE IS BETTER THAN USELESS PIG LIKE YOU .STOP
MENTIONING HIS NAME YOU STRANDED SLAVE .WHAT IS YOUR
FATHERS NAME MONKEY.
 
IF YOU KNOW THAT YOU ARE A MAN CALL ME ON MY PHONE I
WOULD HAVE CALL  SMELLING PIG LIKE YOU AND REMIND YOU
WHERE YOU COME FROM .
 
YOU DONT KNOW WHERE YOU COME FROM AND YOU DONT KNOW
WHERE TO GO SLAVE.
 
YOU WANT TO HAVE 25% SEE MONKEY WAY DE MAKE MILLIONS
INSTEAD OF ME TO TRANSFER THIS MONEY TO YOUR ACCOUNT I
FULK YOUR MOTHER THROUGH BACK YOUR MAMA TOTO DE SMELL.
DE SMELL DE SMELL DE SMELL OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.
 
I NO GO FULK AM AGAIN OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH THE
WOMAN TOO SMELL JO JO.
 
IF I SEE HER I WILL PAY MY DOG TO FULK AM
OHHHHHHHHHHH. OR YOU WANT TO FULK YOUR MOTHER  OKAY NA
YOU SEF DE FULK AM I KNOW THAT IS YOUR LIFE NA YOU DE
FULK YOUR MOTHER I KNOW I KNOW THAT GO AHEAD FULK HER
WELL WELL AS NOBODY GREEE FULK AM FOR YOU.
 
I BEG FULK YOUR THING YOUR MAMA TOTO DE SWEET YOU WELL
WELL I KNOW YOU SLAVE PIG.


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR
 
Yo mugu, the word is F**K not FULK.  Can't you even
swear right?  My god you're an idiot.  The only thing
you have 25% of is a brain.
Sad facts of life for you:
I have more money than you will ever have.  
And I can have any woman I want, including your
sister.  
That's life.  
Deal with it, mugu.  Maybe you'll be in the same cell
as Ibekwe.  I've given your phone number, fax number,
IP address, and all the childish documents you sent to
the authorities.
419419419419419419

Think that's the end? Nope, he still wants to teach me the business (paragraph 6).
Defense of Ibekwe and 419ers in paragraph 5.
And apparently brains and ethics aren't the only things he's not getting:


CHIEF F. E. NDA

Date:  Fri, 6 Jun 2003 04:59:26 -0700 (PDT)
From:  nda fredricks [fredricks2004@yahoo.com] 
Subject:  johnson devilish harlot person

dog food jo-jo is your name.
 
listen lam twenty seven years only and l believed you
are close to ninty years. how can old penis fulk? well
old penis can fulk your old mother so go and fulk you
mother okay.
 
God most surely punish you because all you know is how
to use little money God gave to you to fulk
harlots.well l dont blame you,because your money is a
harlot and blood is thicker than walter.
 
lf you want deliverance l can deliver you l God gave
me power to deliver people like you,l know you dont
want money send me you full name and address l will
send you some dollars okay to enable you to come to
Nigeria so that l can deliver you if not you will
surely perish this year christ is coming are ready to
welcome him answer this question son of harlot.
 
repent-repent -repent lbekwe is better than you after
all he made his money from you slaves that means he is
bring our money back to the country by the way how
much did they pay us before they thief you people out
from Africa you most answer this question urgently.
 
look old boy cool-down let me teach you business if
not hungery will do you something there.l have gievn
my word.
 
mugu bye bye dont write me again lam not your class
unless you want me to come over there and deal with
you.
 
just cool down l will help you and you will be choping
dollars you know.
 
my boy bye.
 
YOUR HON CHEIF F.E.NDA
 
thanks for calling me chief each time you sent you
mail that shows respect go ahead my boy lam with you. 


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Chief,

You can't even spell CHIEF right!  You spelled it
CHEIF!  It's I BEFORE E, MORON, idiot boy!  You should
go back to school and learn how to write a sentence.

Here, I'll help ya out:

>dog food jo-jo is your name.

See, in America that means nothing.  Jo-Jo doesn't
mean anything.

>listen lam twenty seven years only and l believed you
are close to ninty years. how can old penis fulk? well
old penis can fulk your old mother so go and fulk you
mother okay.

You should start sentences with a capital letter. 
You're 27, so you dropped out of school 20 years ago,
right?  "Ninety" has an "e" in it, see?  And for the
second time, there is no "L" in "F**K".

>God most surely punish you because all you know is
how to use little money God gave to you to fulk
harlots.well l dont blame you,because your money is a
harlot and blood is thicker than walter.

The word is "water" not "walter".  Walter is a man's
name.  And there still isn't an "L" in F**K.

>lf you want deliverance l can deliver you l God gave
me power to deliver people like you,l know you dont
want money send me you full name and address l will
send you some dollars okay to enable you to come to
Nigeria so that l can deliver you if not you will
surely perish this year christ is coming are ready to
welcome him answer this question son of harlot.
 
I don't think you are capable of delivering a
newspaper, let alone a person.  You want to send money
someplace, try a charity that helps Africans like the
Heifer Project (P.O. Box 8058, Little Rock, AR 72203
USA).  Then again you're a stupid 419 mugu thief, so
you don't have any room to boast.

>repent-repent -repent lbekwe is better than you after
all he made his money from you slaves that means he is
bring our money back to the country by the way how
much did they pay us before they thief you people out
from Africa you most answer this question urgently.
 
Ibekwe is a criminal, like you.  "Thief" is a noun,
not a verb.  You refer to a question but it is not
written in English so I have no clue what you're
asking, mugu.

>look old boy cool-down let me teach you business if
not hungery will do you something there.l have gievn
my word.

What word have you gievn?   "Gievn" isn't even a word.
 Neither is "hungery".  If there is someone in the
world who is so stupid that you can teach him
something, that is sad.

>mugu bye bye dont write me again lam not your class
unless you want me to come over there and deal with
you.

Well, you have no class so that's sort of obvious. 
 
>just cool down l will help you and you will be
choping dollars you know.
 
No clue what "choping dollars" means.  You really
should go back to school.

>my boy bye.
>YOUR HON CHEIF F.E.NDA

HA!  It's CHIEF, not CHEIF.  And half the time you got
your fake name wrong, idiot.
 
>thanks for calling me chief each time you sent you
mail that shows respect go ahead my boy lam with you. 

No respect was ever given - I got you to waste two
weeks.   Hey mugu, ever figure out which side of the
paper to fax?  

Class dismissed, boy.

I think this mentoring business suits me pretty well. I just give and give.
Or giev and giev as Chief Fred would say.

For fun, I titled that email "You are right". A couple of days later he actually replied
with an interesting subject line:


CHIEF F. E. NDA

Date:  Mon, 9 Jun 2003 05:47:08 -0700 (PDT)
From:  nda fredricks [fredricks2004@yahoo.com] 
Subject:  l am not right dont say that fool.

foolishman who refused to be rich how are you
today,hope you are not okay because hadly you see a
poor man without one problem or the other.but l want
to make you rich you said no that you want to die as a
poor rat. well bye go and die poor.
 
chief speaking.

(Reply includes references to two other recent 419 arrestees in Nigeria):


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

>how are you today

Thanks for asking, I'm tired from spending all weekend
with the women on my private beach :).  I see you
still can't afford a decent spellchecker, mugu fool. 
Can you count to 419?  I bet Fred Ajudua and Alumile
Adedeji (Ade Bendel) can.  


CHIEF F. E. NDA

Date:  Mon, 9 Jun 2003 11:28:19 -0700 (PDT)
From:  nda fredricks [fredricks2004@yahoo.com] 
Subject:  your mama toto they smell you hear
 
every time women-women listen you are agent of devil.
you dont know christ and you must perish in your sin
fool.
 
l dont know how old you are in nigeria women is
nothing okay we have many of them if women is your
problem just send me 1million dolars i will give you
one old mad women i think you will like her
 
you dont like to be rich poor man.


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

"Therefore I will give their wives to others and their
fields to conquerors, because from the least to the
greatest every one is greedy for unjust gain; from
prophet to priest every one deals falsely." - Jeremiah
8:10.  Sounds like he knew you!

You can't even spell DOLLARS, mugu!  Every day I laugh
at you again!  What kind of idiot 419 scammer can't
even spell DOLLARS?  HAHAHAHAHAHA!  


CHIEF F. E. NDA

Date:  Mon, 9 Jun 2003 13:25:49 -0700 (PDT)
From:  nda fredricks [fredricks2004@yahoo.com] 
Subject:  so this ldiot can read bible.

now you come.but let me tell you lam too big to write
correct to you are given money? mugu dont worry you
escape this trap another one will catch you. because
mugu is mugu for ever.
 
you btter go to church and repent stop telling me
about women okay lam a very hansome guy very rich.
grammer nobi money okay mugu you dont know anything.
 
why not go and teach. teacher dont teach me robbish
ye-ye- the smell.
 
you must pay one day one day you l know very well that
ltk like you also pay into women toto.
 
bastard.


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

I pity you, mugu.  THOU SHALT NOT STEAL - ever heard
of that one?  Go to school and get a real job.  THOU
SHALT NOT BEAR FALSE WITNESS - ever heard of that one?
 Look in the mirror - if you can do that without
breaking it.  You are a disgrace to the people of
Nigeria and the people of the world.

Misspelled words this time: "I am", "don't", "better",
"handsome", "grammar", "rubbish".  I don't know what
"ltk" and "nobi" and "toto" are - sounds like some
mugu dialect you have going there.  Ready for prison
life?

What makes him keep writing? Does he think I will eventually send him money
or can he just not stand not having the last word?
Either way, it takes time away from real potential victims.


CHIEF F. E. NDA

Date:  Tue, 10 Jun 2003 07:35:40 -0700 (PDT)
From:  nda fredricks [fredricks2004@yahoo.com] 
Subject:  big man for nothing
 
LOOK OUT MUGU HOW CALL HIM SELF A MILLION MAN. IS NOT
ME STILL WRITTING TO YOU BECAUSE I HAVE FINDOUT THAT
YOU ARE A FOOL ALWAYS IN THE COMPUTER RICH MAN DID NOT
HAVE TIME TO GO TO COMPUTER ALL WHAT YOU RECEIVED IS
FROM MY BOY IAM NOT YOUR CLASS YOU ARE A POOR RAT-MUGU


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR


What language is that supposed to be?  English? 
Here's a quiz for you, mugu.  Even you can do this
one:
1. What is 418 + 1?
2. What criminal code will you be indicted under?
3. What is 400 + your IQ?
4. How many times a day do I laugh at your pathetic
emails?
5. How many times a day does your mother cry because
her son is a thief?
6. What will be your cell number in jail?

Hint: all of the answers are the same.

Grammar, spelling, math - I'm going to have to start charging this lad tuition.


Can this possibly go on? Has"Cheif" (whoever he really is) no dignity? We'll see...

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