WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

The Unkindly Contributor returns!

The lad starts off with a new story, hoping I'll dive into the middle of someone else's tale.

The least I could do was throw him into the middle of my own storyline.

And he ends up in FLORIDA, of all places.


Characters (passive participants/spare alter egos listed in plain black):

ROSE HELLEN - Secretary or fund owner or both. If the fund existed, it would matter.
- DICKSON OKADE - Another secretary waiting at the Western Union window.
DIPLOMATIC COURIER SERVICES - The alleged couriers.
JOHNSON PETER'S - Why the apostrophe? Who know's. Alleged director at DCS.
- DOMINIC WILSON - The diplomat.
- WILSON BARRY and PETER FISHERMAN - Guys waiting at the Western Union in Miami.
"EUGENE" - FLORIDA-BASED SCAMMER Phone number 561-317-0456-
Fake diplomat in West Palm Beach, FL.
Very dense. Call him, you'll agree. Call him often :) ***
- JEFFREY ADIGWE - Lagos-based Western Union sentinel
JONES OKON - Assistant Director of DCS
- JERRY OBIKA - Fake barrister, cross-pollinated from the lad's other scams.
BARRISTER JOHN DOUGLAS DOUGLAS - Human rights activist and mugu.

And in the Good Guys corner:
UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR - apparently a victim of multiple past scams.
NKOTI - an alleged scammer who foils things

12 on 2. It's not a fair fight.
ROSE HELLEN

Date: Thu, 19 Jan 2006
From: "hellen jerry" <rosehellen_2007@yahoo.com>
Subject: Very Urgent.

Dear Unkindly Contributor,

Hope this mail find you in an excellent condition of health.I'm happy to inform you about my success in getting those funds transferred under the co-operation of a new partner from Paraguay. Presently I'm in South Korea for investment projects with my own share of the total sum.

Meanwhile i didn't forget you're past efforts and attempts to assist me in transferring those funds despite that it failed us some how.Now contact my secretary in Nigeria her name is MISS.Rose Hellen and her email address is (rosehellen_2007@yahoo.com) ask her to send you the total $2,000,000 which I kept for your compensation for all your past efforts and attempts to assist me in this matter.I appreciated your efforts at that time very much .so feel free and get intouch with my secretary MISS. Rose Hellen and instruct her where to send the amount to you.

Please do let me know immediately you receive it so that we can share the joy after all the sufferings at that time. I'm very busy here because of the investment projects which me and the new partner are having at hand,finally, remember that I had forwarded instruction to My secretary on your behalf to receive those moneys feel free to get in touch with Miss.Rose Hellen she will send the amount to you without any delay. With best regards, Rose Hellen


(That letter makes no sense as written, since the writer shouldn't be named Rose Hellen; that would be his/her secretary. But whatever.)


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

It is about time!


(He wastes no time getting to the punch line)

ROSE HELLEN

Date: Fri, 20 Jan 2006
From: "hellen jerry" <rosehellen_2007@yahoo.com>
Subject: MISS ROSE HELLEN ==========RESPONSE QUICKLY

Dear Unkindly Contributor,

Thanks for your mail.I have made inquires regards courier charges from different courier companies which is stated below:

1.DHL courier charged the sum of $165 dollars. 2.Fedex courier charged the sum of$150 dollars

Please choice the courier company of your choice,you want me to use in sending your cheque to your door step.Again,make choice of the courier company and send the money charged by the courier company to enable me send your cheque through the courier company. Please you are advise to send the money through my personal assistance Mr.Dickson Okade. and through western union money transfer.Use this information below:

1.Receiver Name: Mr.Dickson Okade. 2.Country; Lagos / Nigeria 3.Text Question: What is your name? 4.Text Answer: Unkindly

Please you should send the ten digit numbers(MTCN) to enable my personal assistance receive the money and quickly proceed to the courier company and send your cheque. I want you to do today because I want your cheque to reach your possession before RIday.I stop here.

Your's faithfully, Mrs. Rose Hellen.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Mrs Rose, as you surely recall I already sent you much more money than that to account for all courier charges. I don't understand why there has been this delay and now you are back asking for more after thousands were already sent? Just send it, I have been waiting long enough.


ROSE HELLEN

Date: Sat, 21 Jan 2006
Subject: PAYMENT INFORMATION

Dear Unkindly Contributor

Thank you for your urgent reply.I want to inform you that this office have never recieve any payment from any one.so right now you should go ahead and make the payment the way this office instruct you to do.choose out of this two options.

1.DHL courier charged the sum of $165 dollars.
2.Fedex courier charged the sum of$150 dollars

Please you are advise to send the money through my personal assistance Mr.Dickson Okade. and through western union money transfer.Use this information below:

1.Receiver Name: Mr.Dickson Okade.
2.Country; Lagos / Nigeria
3.Text Question: What is your name?
4.Text Answer: Unkindly

Please you should send the ten digit numbers(MTCN) to enable my personal assistance receive the money and quickly proceed to the courier company and send your cheque. I want you to do today because I want your cheque to reach your possession before RIday.I stop here.

Your's faithfully,
Mrs. Rose Hellen.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Mrs Rose,

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT???? I HAVE THE LETTERS FROM YOU IN WHICH YOU ACKNOWLEDGE RECEIPT OF THE MONEY I ALREADY SENT. SO DON'T YOU DARE SAY "THIS OFFICE HAVE NEVER RECIEVE ANY PAYMENT".

WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TALKING TO??? THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOUR FROM YOU IS COMPLETELY UNACCEPTABLE!

DO NOT EVER AGAIN TELL ME SOMETHING AS STUPID AS THAT.

NOW SEND THE CHECK, WITHOUT DELAY. I HAVE PAID THOUSANDS SO FAR AND WILL NOT SEND YOU ONE MORE FUCKING DIME UNTIL YOU DO WHAT YOU PROMISED.



ROSE HELLEN

Date: Sun, 22 Jan 2006
Subject: I need information for this said payment.

Dear Unkindly,

I am very confused and upset as you kept saying that you have sent thousands of mnies to me, It has been a kind of worries to me, could you please forward to me the information on how you made this said payment, I will be glad if you do send them right now because I have never in anywhere made such request.

Know you that this a very serious issue and it must be proven, I need your telephone, fax number and your home address. Anyway, this $150.00 which I requested you to pay would enable us to facilitate the dispatchment of this said cheque, please contact me as soon as you have these information.

Your's sincerely,

Mrs Rose Hellen



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

THIS IS NOT SOME KIND OF JOKE. I DO NOT APPRECIATE THIS RESPONSE AT ALL. I ALREADY TOLD YOU I AM NOT SENDING YOU MORE ON TOP OF THE THOUSANDS I ALREADY SENT AND YOU COME BACK ASKING FOR ANOTHER $150 LIKE SOME KIND OF ILLITERATE. CAN'T YOU READ???

YOU ACT LIKE WE ARE STRANGERS - WHY ARE YOU ASKING FOR MY PHONE AND FAX NUMBER WHEN YOU ALREADY HAVE THEM AND WE HAVE SPOKEN?? YOU ALREADY HAVE MY ADDRESS - REMEMBER THE CASH PAYMENT YOU PROMISED TO SEND BEFORE ANY FURTHER STEPS WOULD BE TAKEN?

YOU STILL HAVE NOT SENT THE CASH YOU PROMISED TO SEND AS A TOKEN OF YOUR SERIOUSNESS!

INSTEAD YOU REPEATEDLY SEND ADDITIONAL REQUESTS FOR PAYMENT!

HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN OUR PARTNERSHIP??

IT IS TIME TO BE SERIOUS!



ROSE HELLEN

Date: Mon, 23 Jan 2006
Subject: PAYMENT INFORMATION Dear Unkindly Contributor,

I am very confused and upset as you kept saying that you have sent thousands of mnies to me, It has been a kind of worries to me, could you please forward to me the information on how you made this said payment, I will be glad if you do send them right now because I have never in anywhere made such request.

Know you that this a very serious issue and it must be proven, I need your telephone, fax number and your home address. Anyway, this $150.00 which I requested you to pay ould enable us to facilitate the dispatchment of this said cheque, please contact me as soon as you have these information.

Your's sincerely,

Mrs Rose Hellen.


[Yes it looks like the same letter to us, too.]


ROSE HELLEN

Date: Tue, 24 Jan 2006
Subject: I need information for this said payment.

Dear Unkindly Contributor ,

Please you are advise to send so that you regards your charges OK

DHL courier charged the sum of $165 dollars.

1.Receiver Name: Mr.Dickson Okade.
2.Country; Lagos / Nigeria
3.Text Question: What is your name?
4.Text Answer: Unkindly



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

SO YOU ADMIT THAT YOU ALREADY RECEIVED OVER $20,000 FROM ME.

WHO IS DICKSON OKADE?

IF HE NEEDS MONEY, GIVE IT TO HIM YOURSELF FROM THE MONEY I ALREADY SENT YOU.

I AM STILL WAITING FOR YOU TO SEND YOUR FLIGHT INFORMATION FOR WHEN YOU ARE COMING HERE AS YOU PROMISED.



ROSE HELLEN

Date: Tue, 24 Jan 2006
Subject: MRS ROSE HELLEN ==========RESPONSE QUICKLY

Dear Unkindly Contributor,

Please you are advise to send the money $150 dollars.so that you can receive your charges in DHL Office,Mr.Dickson Okade is my secretary in my Office OK

1.Receiver Name: Mr.Dickson Okade.
2.Country; Lagos / Nigeria
3.Text Question: What is your name?
4.Text Answer: Unkindly

Your's faithfully,

Mrs. Rose Hellen.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

YOU ARE NOT BEING SERIOUS. TAKE THE $150 FROM THE $20,000 I ALREADY SENT YOU. WHEN ARE YOU ARRIVING HERE AS YOU PROMISED?


(He keeps beating a dead horse.)

ROSE HELLEN

Date: Wed, 25 Jan 2006
Subject: MRS ROSE HELLEN ==========RESPONSE QUICKLY

Dear Unkindly Contributor,

I have made this payment to this Office today or tomorrow morning with information so that you can receive your charges in DHL Office, OK

Please you are advise to send the money through my personal assistance Mr.Dickson Okade. and through western union money transfer.Use this information below

1.Receiver Name: Mr.Dickson Okade.
2.Country; Lagos / Nigeria
3.Text Question: What is your name?
4.Text Answer: Unkindly

Your's faithfully,

Mrs. Rose Hellen.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Since you have made this payment as you said:
"I have made this payment "

there is nothing for me to send.

I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT DHL YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT.



ROSE HELLEN

Date: Sun, 29 Jan 2006
Subject: MISS ROSE HELLEN ==========RESPONSE QUICKLY

Dear Unkindly Contributor,

Please update me.what you have heard from the bank in usa OK
God bless you and your family.Please Call me+234-1-4748220

Mrs. Rose Hellen.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

I got some message about a diplomatic courier. Unfortunately they provided no time for when they are arriving, which is very strange.

As you know, I live in Washington DC. This week I am traveling to Idaho because my stepfather is very ill. If you hear from the diplomats, please direct them to Idoaho for this week and I will meet their flight at the airport.





Subject: IMPORTANT INFORMATION
From: "Diplomatic Courier Services" <d1plomaticcourier@myway.com>
Date: Sat, 28 Jan 2006
Attn: Unkindly Contributor

We are indeed glad to inform you that remittance allocation quota # D.C.S 2/5/hbnplc-fod for immediate payment of $35.5m in ur favour has been released.Based on the recent policy of the Diplomatic Courier Services and with the view of checking money laundering and terrorism,the entire Management of this Company has approved to pay you through Diplomatic Courier Service (D.C.S).

The sum $35.5m (thirty five million Five Hundred thousand United States Dollars USD) will be dispatched through D.C.S today to ur mailing address,You will be contacted by the Courier Diplomat once the arrive United States of America.

You are also advised to get ready with the sum of $4,500 being Tag Clearance Fee to be paid once the consignment arrive in your Country (USA).

Note that the diplomats do not know in any way the content of the consignment rather they are informed that it's just personal belongings.

Mr Dominic Wilson (Diplomat) of Diplomatic Courier Service will leave here today 28january 2006 with the Consignment ($35.5m) under diplomatic immunity for USA.

Thanks and Congratulations!

Yours Faithfully,

MR. Johnson Peter's.
(DIRECTOR)
TEL+234-1-4735912


(Since their email address has a "1" instead of an "i" you know it's legit. The use of "ur" in place of "your" multiple times also conveys the kind of authenticity that usually requires hiring Sam Waterston for a TV ad.)


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

What day will you be arriving in Boise? I am based in Washington, DC but will be in Boise all week due to a family emergency. Please send the flight details and I will meet the flight at the airport.




Subject: IMPORTANT INFORMATION
From: "Diplomatic Courier Services" <d1plomaticcourier@myway.com>
Date: Mon, 30 Jan 2006
Attn: Unkindly Contributor

We confirm your mail of 28/1/2006, the diplomats will contact you today and tells you how the will deliver your consignment to you. You are advise to comply with the diplomats Mr Dominic Wilson.

Thanks and Congratulations!
Yours Faithfully,

MR. Johnson Peter's.
(DIRECTOR)
TEL+234-1-4735912



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Sir, That is very interesting but does not answer my question.


ROSE HELLEN

Date: Mon, 30 Jan 2006
Attention: Unkindly,

After going through your email, we have been instructed to remind you that you need to provide to this office the following informaiton as stated below:

(1) Telephone number and Fax number.
(2) Full Name.
(3) Contact address.

Upon the receipt of these informaiton, we shall have them submitted to the diplomat, after that is done, they shall contact you as to know where exactly to meet up with you in the said Boise State.

Contact us as soon as you have made this provision.

Sincerely,
Mrs. Rose Hellen.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

Let me say how deeply hurt I am by your email. After all we have shared, after all the promises you made you now pretend you do not even know my name.

After all the talk of spending our lives together you do not know my name?

After all the calls you do not know my phone number?

You are breaking my heart.

I have set up a number for the diplomats to use. They can call me on 206-339-3847 and if I am busy it will take a voice message or receive a fax.

I WILL ALWAYS RELY ON EMAIL OVER PHONE SO THERE IS NO CONFUSION. DO NOT LEAVE ME VOICE MAILS THAT JUST SAY TO CALL YOU WITH NO REASON FOR IT. SUCH CALLS WILL BE IGNORED.

TELL THEM THAT SO THEY DO NOT WASTE MY TIME.

My address is the same as the one you said would one day be your home - xxx Washington DC. But as you know I am traveling at the moment for my family.

When are you arriving? Or have you forgotten that too?



ROSE HELLEN

Date: Tue, 31 Jan 2006

Attention: Unkindly,

Plesae call me +234-1-4748220
Contact us as soon as you have made this provision.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Rose Hellen.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

I am in the hospital today with my stepfather.

I can get a wireless connection from here in the hospital but I cannot make international calls.

So if you have something to tell me, email me.

I have heard NOTHING from the diplomat. He was supposed to travel on 1/28 which was several days ago!

WHERE IN BLAZES IS HE????

I CANNOT TOLERATE UNPROFESSIONAL BEHAVIOUR LIKE THIS! I NEED TO KNOW WHEN HE WILL BE ARRIVING IN IDAHO.

I HAVE ALREADY ARRANGED FOR MY SIDE BUT THEY SEEM TO BE DROPPING THE BALL. Kind regards



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

PS - When are you travelling here? I still have your picture by my bedside.


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Sirs,

I had expected Mr Dominic to be here by now. What day is he arriving in Idaho?

Regards



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

I have heard NOTHING from the diplomat. WHERE IS HE? I gave you (again!) my full address and phone number and you already knew my name as well so there are NO EXCUSES for this lack of action on their part.





Subject: IMPORTANT INFORMATION
Date: Thu, 2 Feb 2006
Attn: Unkindly Contributor.

We confirm your mail of 1/2/2006 and want to inform you that you will pay the diplomats Mr Dominic Wilson first in florida the sum of $4,500 dollars before he will deliver the consignment to your address take note of that because that is their rules and regulation to deliver consignment all over the world, that the beneficiary must pay first before delivering and also I ask you to call them on phone ok . Thanks and Congratulations!

Yours Faithfully,

MR. Johnson Peter's.
(DIRECTOR)
TEL+234-1-4735912


(Those are the rules in the scam world. In the real world we pay after services are rendered.)


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Mr Peter's,

Please note the following.

1. Please provide Mr Wilson's phone number.

2. You have provided no address for Mr Wilson in Florida. Where am I to meet with him?

3. I note that you have failed to answer any of my questions regarding his arrival in Boise. I will need to be here for another week at least, as my stepfather's health is deteriorating badly.

So, exactly when is he coming? I cannot stay indefinitely.

4. We previously agreed to do the payment when he arrives here. I am not aware of any change to that agreement.

I await your answers.



ROSE HELLEN

Date: Thu, 2 Feb 2006
Subject: Contact the diplomatic today

Attention: Unkindly,

I need you to contact the diplomatic today since you have not heard from them. Do that fast through mail and send your personal information to them including yoyr phone number because they may want to speak with you on phone.Ensure that when you get talking with them let me know.

Sincerely,

Mrs. Rose Hellen.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

The idiots at the diplomatic company failed to provide the address and phone number of the diplomat. AND they STUPIDLY sent him to Florida even though they knew I am in Boise this week. Can't they read a map? Honestly, it will take a MIRACLE for this business to be successful with these people involved.

So they have to tell me when he is coming to Idaho. With my family situation I can't fly down there for another week or so at best.

They can't answer questions. I gave them my phone number, they can't call me - maybe they can't figure out how to use a phone?

Who knows why they behave so unprofessionally.

They are not being SERIOUS. That will have to change immediately if this business is to conclude swiftly.

My love, I do not understand your tone - did you not receive the flowers I sent you?

And when are arriving here? I remember all of your promises.


FLORIDA-BASED SCAMMER

voice mail from Boca Raton, FL
561-317-0456

Yeah
Ullo Mister Unkindly
This is Eugene Comicomo from Miami Florida
I'm here with your consignment
Well
Anyway you get this give me a call
My number is 561-317-0456
561-317-0456
Bye-bye.


(He's lying. A 561-317 exchange puts him in West Palm Beach, not Miami.)

(Btw, Nice name, Eugene.)



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Sirs,

For some reason someone in your office left me a voice mail today. Why? Who knows. Who is he? I have no idea. He is barely understandable on the phone. He provides NO INFORMATION AT ALL, just asks me to waste my time calling him back. Why? So I can try to figure out what he is saying at my expense?

He was NOT the diplomat you said would be traveling here.

WHAT IN THE WORLD IS GOING ON?

AND WHY HAVE YOU NOT ANSWERED MY QUESTIONS?

WHO IS THIS PERSON AND WHY IS HE NOW INVOLVED?

I previously made the following notice to Miss Rose, who advised you of the same:

I WILL ALWAYS RELY ON EMAIL OVER PHONE SO THERE IS NO CONFUSION. DO NOT LEAVE ME VOICE MAILS THAT JUST SAY TO CALL YOU WITH NO REASON FOR IT. SUCH CALLS WILL BE IGNORED.

PLEASE STOP WASTING MY TIME. LET ME KNOW WHEN YOU ARE ARRIVING HERE WITH THE CONSIGNMENT.

THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS AND I EXPECT YOUR REPRESENTATIVES TO ACT LIKE IT IS.

AFTER ALL I HAVE INVESTED IN THIS THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE BEHAVIOUR.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

After all I have invested in this I am very disappointed - the diplomatic people just did what I told them NOT TO DO.

Why on earth would they leave me a message with no information in it? This is not some kind of seek-and-find puzzle game.

Very unprofessional if you ask me.

Do you have other people you can use instead? These guys can't answer simple questions like "when are you going to be here"!

I STILL have NOT heard from the one they said was going to contact me last week!

!!!!!





Subject: IMPORTANT INFORMATION
Date: Fri, 3 Feb 2006

Attn: Unkindly Contributor.

We confirm your mail of 2/2/2006 and want to inform you that you that the diplomats call you this morning and drop the number for you to call him back, You are advise to call him back to the number droped to your voice mail and follow his instruction and receive your consignment.
Thanks and Congratulations!

Yours Faithfully,

MR. Johnson Peter's.
(DIRECTOR)
TEL+234-1-4735912



(Vent to their coconspirator)

UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

This is INCREDIBLE. These people are IDIOTS. These Diplomatic Courier Services people are the stupidest people on the face of the planet.

If STUPID was a country, they'd be the President.

If STUPID is a drop of water, they'd be the ocean.

If STUPID is a grain of sand, they'd be the Sahara Desert.

THEY CANNOT ANSWER ANY QUESTION. THEY LEAVE VOICE MAIL MESSAGES THAT SOUND LIKE THEY HAVE MARBLES IN THEIR MOUTHS - YOU CANNOT UNDERSTAND THEM AT ALL. THEN THEY SEND EMAILS THAT SAY TO CALL THEM - TO HEAR MORE OF THAT MUMBLING? THEY ANSWER NO QUESTIONS!!!!!

WHERE DID YOU FIND THEM - IN STUPIDVILLE?

Getting dressed in the morning must be very difficult for them as they try to figure out if their shoes go on their feet or their hands.

Total morons.

What total Idiots.

AFTER ALL I INVESTED I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ENTRUSTED MY BUSINESS WITH THESE PEOPLE.

!!!



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

(to Diplomatic Courier Services)

What is wrong with you people? No one called me this morning.

When do you plan to answer my questions??

??

??

??

Is there someone there who is a serious businessman? I have invested too much to have this disrupted by people who can't answer simple questions.


PHONE CALL with EUGENE

(Courtesy of a phone card and a pay phone, I had a fun call with the guy in Florida.

There's nothing like talking to a lad. It's like being in a bad improv group. This lad is taking orders from his buddies in Lagos, so he doesn't know the full story - making him an even easier target of abuse.)

It took him a while to figure out who he was supposed to be. He had to be reminded of when he called me and what my name was supposed to be and what his name might be.

Standard West African accent. He said he had the consignment. Then he said he didn't have the consignment. He said he'd be in Idaho on Monday. Then he said he'd need the $4500 then. We agreed I'd give that to him in Idaho. Then he said he'd need to pay DCS that money first. He had no idea where to send that payment. He has no email access. He wants to call me back when he figures out where the money goes.



(After such phone calls, immediately send out your version of events since the Nigerian- based folks were not in on the call.)

UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

(to Diplomatic Courier Services)
(cc Miss Rose)

Sirs (and cc Miss Rose)

I spoke with the person in Miami today. Here is the summary:

1. He doesn't know if he has the consignment or not. 2. He doesn't know if he is bringing the consignment to Idaho or not.

What a completely worthless person.

3. He said the fee had been paid. 4. Then he said the fee had not been paid.

We agreed that the fee would be paid after the consignment is delivered, as is standard. You get paid when the job is done.

5. Then he said the fee should not be paid to him. 6. Then he said the fee should be paid to DCS.

BUT HE HAD NO IDEA WHERE DCS IS LOCATED IN MIAMI FOR SENDING THE PAYMENT.

UNBELIEVEABLE!

7. He is the only person in the world who has no idea how to use email. 8. He talks like he has a mouthfull of curry.

I think you should be aware that you are being poorly represented by people like this.

If you need the payment sent somewhere, you should say where that is.

Start acting professional!

9. Stop wasting my time with stupid phone calls. Send me the details via email. I cannot be out of my stepfather's area for long, expecially not for calls like this!!!!

Where is the DCS located in Miami?

Regards.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

(to Diplomatic Courier Services)
(cc Miss Rose)

Sirs (and cc Miss Rose)

Incredibly, I have received no answer to my questions. The Miami guy never called back with the answers. Where is DCS located in Miami?

On what day and what flight will the person from Miami arrive with the consignment?

On what day will the person in Miami learn to use email so he can communicate in English?

Incompetence is not amusing.

I'm going home for the weekend but will likely have to travel back here next week. In the meantime, please get your act together and start acting professionally.

I have too much invested in this to have it spoilt by amature behaviour.

Regards.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

It should go without saying that if there are charges to be paid to DCS there they should be paid from the funds I previously advanced you for exactly that purpose.

Blessings,





Subject: URGENT INFORMATION
Date: Sat, 4 Feb 2006

ATTN; UNKINDLY,

WE CONFIRM YOUR MAIL AND THE CONTENTS ARE WELL NOTED, MR DOMINIC WILSON THE DIPLOMATS IN MIAMI FLORIDA HAS TAKEN NOTE OF ALL YOUR COMMENTS AND SAID THAT YOU HAVE TO PAY $4,500 DOLLARS FIRST BEFORE HE CAN DELIVER THE CONSIGNMENT TO YOUR ADDRESS AND THIS IS THE INFORMATION FOR YOU TO PAY THE MONEY THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER, YOU HAVE TO SPLIT THE MONEY INTO TWO PLACES [1]MR WILSON BARRY $2000 AND MR PETER FISHERMAN $2,500 DOLLARS AND THE ADDRESS WHERE YOU ARE SENDING THE MONEY TO DOMINIC WILSON IS MIAMI FLORIDA AND REMEMBER TO SEND THE INFORMATION THROUGH EMAIL LIKE CONTROL NUMBER OF THE WESTERN UNION, TEXT QUESTION AND ANSWER AND SENDERS NAME CORRECTLY TO ENABLE MR DOMINIC WILSON RECEIVE AND DELIVER YOUR CONSIGNMENT SAFELY WITHOUT ANY PROBLEM. SEND THE MONEY TODAY TO HIM.

THANKS,

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

JOHNSON PETERS.
DIRETOR DIPLOMATIC COURIER SERVICES.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Mr Johnson,

I need the addresses of those people. I can't just send money to Miami without an address! In America, addresses look like this:

Name
### Some Street
City, State, Zip Code

Who is Mr Wilson Barry?
Who is Mr Peter Fisherman?
Who is the mumble-mouthed idiot who I talked to?
When do you plan to answer questions?
What is the address of DCS in Miami?

********Send the addresses now if you want the money sent.*****
****IF NO ADDRESS THEN I HAVE NO WHERE TO SEND MONEY!!!!!!! *********

I am headed back to the airport now to fly home.

YOU HAVE WASTED ANOTHER DAY OF MY TIME. START ANSWERING QUESTIONS INSTEAD OF GIVING STRANGE ORDERS WITH NO DETAILS.

GOT THAT?

YOU WILL GET NO MORE MESSAGES FROM ME UNTIL AT LEAST MONDAY. IN THE MEANTIME FIGURE OUT THE ANSWERS TO MY QUESTIONS AND PROVIDE REAL ANSWERS INSTEAD OF JUST MORE COMMANDS.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

For some reason these questions have gone unanswered. Please reply promptly with answers.

(pasted in question email again).


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

I called the Florida people last week but they didn't know anything. I am waiting for answers to questions from DCS. They don't seem to be that smart. I am worried that they are not serious. You should have heard the mumblemouth they have answering the phones there. What an idiot.

I'll let you know when they finally get around to answering simple questions.

I'm home for the next couple of days, depending on how my stepfather does I may need to dash back up north.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

WHAT IS GOING ON?


Subject: SEND THE MONEY WITH THE INFORMATION
Date: Wed, 8 Feb 2006

ATTN; UNKINDLY,

WE CONFIRM YOUR MAIL AND THE CONTENTS ARE WELL NOTED, MR DOMINIC WILSON THE DIPLOMATS IN MIAMI FLORIDA HAS TAKEN NOTE OF ALL YOUR COMMENTS AND SAID THAT YOU HAVE TO PAY $4,500 DOLLARS FIRST BEFORE HE CAN DELIVER THE CONSIGNMENT TO YOUR ADDRESS AND THIS IS THE INFORMATION FOR YOU TO PAY THE MONEY THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER, YOU HAVE TO SPLIT THE MONEY INTO TWO PLACES [1]MR WILSON BARRY $2000 AND MR PETER FISHERMAN $2,500 DOLLARS AND THE ADDRESS WHERE YOU ARE SENDING THE MONEY TO DOMINIC WILSON IS MIAMI FLORIDA AND REMEMBER TO SEND THE INFORMATION THROUGH EMAIL LIKE CONTROL NUMBER OF THE WESTERN UNION, TEXT QUESTION AND ANSWER AND SENDERS NAME CORRECTLY TO ENABLE MR DOMINIC WILSON RECEIVE AND DELIVER YOUR CONSIGNMENT SAFELY WITHOUT ANY PROBLEM. SEND THE MONEY TODAY TO HIM.
THANKS,

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

JOHNSON PETERS.
DIRETOR DIPLOMATIC COURIER SERVICES.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Mr Peters,

I need their STREET addresses if you want me to send them anything. Miami is a city not a street address.

Who is Mr Fisherman? Who is Mr Barry?

What is the DCS office address there?

THERE IS NO WAY FOR ME TO SEND ANYTHING WITHOUT AN ADDRESS. I THOUGHT THAT WOULD BE OBVIOUS.

Regards



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

Still no replies from the DCS folks- they are asking me to send them something but they do not say where to send it!

Remember all the troubles Western Union caused last time?



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Mr Peters,

WESTERN UNION LOST MY MONEY THE LAST TWO TIMES I USED THEM.

I WILL NEVER USE WESTERN UNION EVER AGAIN.

NEVER.

PROVIDE THE STREET ADDRESS SO I CAN FEDEX TO YOUR COMPANY.

DO NOT ASK AGAIN FOR WESTERN UNION - IT WILL NOT BE SENT THAT WAY.

NEVER

REGARDS





Subject: WESTERN UNION IS THE ONLY WAY Date: Thu, 9 Feb 2006

ATTN; UNKINDLY,

WE CONFIRM YOUR MAIL AND THE CONTENTS ARE WELL NOTED, MR DOMINIC WILSON THE DIPLOMATS IN MIAMI FLORIDA HAS TAKEN NOTE OF ALL YOUR COMMENTS AND SAID THAT YOU HAVE TO PAY $4,500 DOLLARS FIRST BEFORE HE CAN DELIVER THE CONSIGNMENT TO YOUR ADDRESS AND THIS IS THE INFORMATION FOR YOU TO PAY THE MONEY THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER, YOU HAVE TO SPLIT THE MONEY INTO TWO PLACES [1]MR WILSON BARRY $2000 AND MR PETER FISHERMAN $2,500 DOLLARS AND THE ADDRESS WHERE YOU ARE SENDING THE MONEY TO DOMINIC WILSON IS MIAMI FLORIDA AND REMEMBER TO SEND THE INFORMATION THROUGH EMAIL LIKE CONTROL NUMBER OF THE WESTERN UNION, TEXT QUESTION AND ANSWER AND SENDERS NAME CORRECTLY TO ENABLE MR DOMINIC WILSON RECEIVE AND DELIVER YOUR CONSIGNMENT SAFELY WITHOUT ANY PROBLEM. SEND THE MONEY TODAY TO HIM.YOU HAVE TO PAY THROUGH WESTERN UNION WITH THE INFORMATION GIVEN TO YOU .
THANKS,

YOURS FAITHFULLY,

JOHNSON PETERS.
DIRETOR DIPLOMATIC COURIER SERVICES


[Yes it looks like the same e-mail to us, too. But we repeat ourselves. Repeat ourselves.]


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Mr Peters,

Why did you send the exact same message without answering the questions??

Western Union is NOT an option.

STOP WASTING MY TIME.

HERE IS THE TEST QUESTION: IS WESTERN UNION AN OPTION?
HERE IS THE ANSWER: NO.

HERE IS ANOTHER TEST QUESTION: WHAT DO YOU NEED TO SEND ME?
HERE IS THE ANSWER: THE ADDRESS OF YOUR OFFICE IN MIAMI WHERE I CAN SEND THE MONEY.

Send the address now. Stop sending the same stupid email.

Regards



ROSE HELLEN

Date: Thu, 9 Feb 2006
Subject: Contact them today

Dear Unkindly

Thank you for our message.

I advise you to try as much as possible to do what they asked because as soon as everything is done, I shall be coming to your country for the disbursement of the fund.

Please contact them and ask them to give you the detail as to where to send the said money.

Do not be inconvenience by the Western Union.

I will be waiting to hear from you.

Miss Rose Hellen



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

I am delighted to hear that you are once again planning to keep your pledge. Please let me know when to expect your arrival.

I refuse to use Western Union - you know why, since you were the one who was supposed to receive the money that I had to send when they lost it. I can't believe they lost it two separate times forcing me to send the money repeatedly. At least you finally received it.

But after that you know that I will never set a FOOT near a Western Union ever again.

They suck.

They cannot be trusted.

As soon as DCS gives me a real address the money can be sent.



ROSE HELLEN

Date: Thu, 9 Feb 2006
Subject: will be waiting to hear from you.

Dear Unkindly

I am very happy to hear from you today.

I personally suggest you should be of reasoning with the diplomat, you need work with their instructions because they have other transaction to execute, though I did not see anything wrong with your request, but I still want to advise you to try and make the payment as they instructed in the email so that this said consignment can be delivered to you under 24 hours.
I hate all these uneccessary delay, stop being sceptical because they have every reliability to make this transaction a success. Since you have been requested to make this payment today, please do not hesitate to do what they have asked you. Know you that every formalities should be done in the United States, you must have to come to compromise with them, that is the only way success can be acheived.
Finally, Contact them right now and ask them to give you proper information on where to send this money since they have suggested Western Union. I will be very glad if you do as I advised now. Please undersstand that this is for your own mutual benefit, you cannot compare this payment to this huge sum of money which you are to receive.

I will be waiting to hear from you.

Miss Rose Hellen



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

They refuse to tell me where to send the money. I have already told you and them that Western Union is an unreliable option that I will NEVER use again.

I am not skeptical at all and I am shocked you would say that.

Rather, I am dealing with the idiots at DCS who have failed to answer a single question.

It is a simple question: WHAT IS THE ADDRESS TO SEND THE MONEY TO? "MIAMI" IS NOT AN ADDRESS.

What kind of businessman could not answer that question?

Tell DCS to stop delaying!





Subject: RE: TEST QUESTIONS
Date: Thu, 9 Feb 2006
Attn Unkindly

I refer to your nasty mail you sent today.Be adviced that your consignment is in America and if you did not follow up the instruction by paying the money through western union money transfer with the name given to you,if they return your consignment back,you have to blame yourself,you cannot force the company to do what they don,t supose to do because of you,if you to pay the money to western union pay and if you don,t stop disturbing because the consignment belong to you and not me.

Thanks

Yours faithfully
Johnson Peters.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

MR Peters,

I demand an apology. I have repeatedly asked for the address to send the money to.

You repeatedly ignore those questions and instead insult me.

I repeatedly tell you that WESTERN UNION IS NOT AN OPTION. THEY ARE NOT RELIABLE.

You owe me an apology, and you need to send the address.

Why is that so hard for you?

Are you ready to be serious now? Your unprofessional behaviour to date has prevented this business from concluding.

I tell you again, so you can remember: WESTERN UNION IS NOT AN OPTION. IT IS NOT RELIABLE.

SEND YOUR ADDRESS.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

The DCS people seem to have FORGOTTEN that their JOB is to PROVIDE A SERVICE.

If these morons can't figure out their own address, fire them immediately.

They are not providing any service at all.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

Still no word from those kids at DCS. They could look out their window and ask a person walking past their building what their address is, since they are apparently not smart enough to know where they drive to work every day. And the person outside the building could tell them the number on the building and the name on the street sign.

How hard would that be?

I am shaking my head and the COMPLETE lack of service DCS is providing.

I suggest you fire them immediately. They clearly have NO INTEREST in providing a service.

I have too much invested to let them ruin this business.



ROSE HELLEN

Date: Mon, 13 Feb 2006
Subject: will be waiting to hear from you.

Dear Unkindly

I am very happy to hear from you today.Please try to call me+234-1-4748220.Please understand that this is for your own mutual benefit, you cannot compare this payment to this huge sum of money which you are to receive. i will be waiting to hear from you today.

Miss Rose Hellen



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

What are you talking about? I am STILL WAITING for the idiots at DCS to say where to send the payment to!

The issue is not the payment.

The issue is the address to which the payment should be sent.

As we have previously AGREED, I will NEVER use Western Union again.

If you want to talk to somebody about this, I suggest you call DCS.

You can reach them at 561-317-0456.

Blessings



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

Has DCS given you an answer? I see no point in any further calls to them until if they cannot behave professionally.

Fire them if they don't.



ROSE HELLEN

Date: Tue, 14 Feb 2006
Subject: Keep me informed.

Dear Unkindly,

I spoke with the Diplomat office yesterday with the telephone number you sent to me, after all my pleading to them, they have agreed to contact you with the information where the payment would be made. They also assured me that as soon as you made the payment as they instructed, the Consignment will definitely leave for your destination at the same time.

They shall contact you any moment from now and make sure you keep me informed upon development. I also need real telephone number because the previous one you gave to me wasn't going through. I strongly believe that everything will work out this time.

Please try as much as possible to comply with them so that we can get this done today and tomorrow.

Miss Rose Hellen.


(Any bets on what country the new address will be in? Three guesses, and the first two don't count.)


(DIPLOMATIC COURIER SERVICES gets a new email address and fake manager.

And now I'm a "Mrs" !)


DIPLOMATIC COURIER SERVICES (JONES OKON)

Date: 14 Feb 2006
From: "Diplomatic Courier" <diplomatic_cs@ny.com>

ATTENTION:MRS. UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR,

FOR YOUR INFORMATION, YOU ARE ADVISED TO MAKE THIS PAYMENT THROUGH MONEYGRAM INTERNATIONAL TRANSFER, AS THIS WILL ENABLE US TO RECEIVE THE PAYMENT FROM YOU SINCE YOU ARE HAVING A PROBLEM WITH THE SUPPOSED WESTERN UNION. THIS PAYMENT SHOULD BE MADE TODAY SO TAHT WE CAN HAVE THE CONSIGNMENT DELIVERED TO YOU. wE HAVE RECEIVED A TELEPHONE CALL AND THEY ADVISED US TO GIVE YOU INFORMATION WHERE TO MAKE THIS PAYMENT.

HERE IS THE INFORMATION FOR MKAING THIS PAYMENT OF $4,500.00 AS AGREED, THIS PAYMENT SHOULD BE SENT THROUGH MONEYGRAM INTERNATIONAL TRANSFER WITH THESE FOLLOWING INFORMATION LISTED BELOW.

RECEIVER'S NAME: MR. JEFFREY ADIGWE.
LOCATION: LAGOS-NIGERIA.
ADDRESS: 909 CROWN ROAD, APAPA, LAGOS-NIGERIA.

WE SHALL ALSO NEED THE 10 DIGIT NUMBER KNOWN AS REFRENCE NUMBER, INCLUDING WITH OTHER INFORMAITON RELATED TO THIS PAYMENT. UPON THE RECEIPT OF THIS PAYMENT, WE SHALL RELEASE YOUR CONSIGNMENT TO YOU UNDER 24 HOURS ONLY.

ALWAYS CONTACT THIS OFFICE THROUGH THIS EMAIL ADDRESS: diplomatic_cs@ny.com

YOUR'S FAITHFULLY,

MR. JONES OKON.
ASSISTANT DIRECTOR.



(Moneygram instead of WU! That's an improvement! But it still ain't happening!)


(Let's tell Miss Rose the great news.)

UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

Finally we have news from the fools at DCS. The address to send the money to is in Lagos, which is great because that's where you are and I already sent you $21,950. So, use $4500 of that money I already sent you to pay these idiots.

Here is the information:

RECEIVER'S NAME: MR. JEFFREY ADIGWE.
LOCATION: LAGOS-NIGERIA.
ADDRESS: 909 CROWN ROAD, APAPA, LAGOS-NIGERIA.

Finally, the end is in sight!



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Mr Okon,

I am baffled by your request to send the payment to Nigeria when the consignment is in the US. That makes no sense to me. Nonetheless, my partner will visit your person at the address you provided and make the payment.

As I am in Washington, DC, USA, please let me know when to expect the arrival of the consignment. Will you be arriving by train (Union Station?) or plane (National Airport or Dulles?). We've had some snow but it's pretty much cleared by now.

Regards



ROSE HELLEN

Date: Tue, 14 Feb 2006
Subject: Contact them as they instructed.

Dear Unkindly,

I must confess to you that I am not delighted with your email of today, I have never received any money from you in the time past, it has been a kind of worries to me because I am very sure that I had never collected any money from you.

I have previously informed you to be in a good terms with the Diplomat because they have the final say about this consignment of ours, It might interest you to know that I do not have any money, I wish I have some money I would have go ahead and send the money with the information you provided in this email. I am very concern about this transaction but would be possibly done only if you comply with them.

Your utterance to the Diplomat wasn't not fair because it sounds as if they are not capable and unprofessional to handle this said consignment, why not contact them and do what they asked of you, know you that this will help us to get this done.

Please contact them with the payment as soon as possible.

Mrs Rose Hellen.



(If she wants to start off this scam pretending we had a past business relationship, then I get to decide how that relationship proceeded.)

UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

I am stunned by your email.

Do you need me to dig up the messages in which you acknowledged the receipt?

Do you want me to pull up the Western Union slips? Remember how they twice lost money and I had to re-send it again?

I cannot understand your email at all. I have sent you $21,950 over the past 12 months. Use part of that to pay this fee.

Please expantiate yourself.



DIPLOMATIC COURIER SERVICE (JONES OKON)

Date: 14 Feb 2006
From: "Diplomatic Courier" <diplomatic_cs@ny.com>

ATTENTION: MRS. UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR,

WE ARE IN RECEIPT OF YOUR EMAIL DATED 14/2/2006
. BE INFORMED THAT THIS OFFICE REMAINS SUPREME IN GETTING ALL YOUR NEEDS COMPLETED, WE HAVE BEEN TRANSACTING SUCH BUSINESS AND CONTRACTS WITH OUR PROFESSIONAL COMPETENCE, BUT IT SEEMS TO US THAT YOU ARE NOT INTERESTED TO WORK ACCORDING TO OUR INSTRUCTION, WE HAVE INSTRUCTED YOU TO FACILITATE THIS CHARGES TO ENABLE US DELIVER YOUR CONSIGNMENT TO YOUR DESIGNATED DESTINATION.

KNOW YOU THAT WITHOUT GETTING THIS PAYMENT, WE SHALL NOT COMMENCE ACTION UPON THIS MATTER. WE FINALLY ADVISE YOU TO TRY AS MUCH AS POSSIBLE TO MAKE THE PAYMENT TODAY AND GET BACK TO US WITH INFORMATION.

WE ARE WAITING TO HEAR FROM YOU.

YOUR'S FAITHFULLY,

MR. JONES OKON.
ASSISTANT DIRECTOR.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Sir,

Your message makes no sense at all to me. As I stated, my partner will be bringing you the fee today.

You respond with insults and indignation.

I expect an apology immediately.

Your office has behaved in an unprofessional manner thus far and I hope you start exhibiting a more professional behaviour from this point forward.

Kindly remember that "service" is part of your corporate name, and you have yet to provide any service to your customer, me.

Regards



(Time to create an email from the nonexistent past)

UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose, Here is what you wrote me in October. Now you say you received 0???? Quit telling stories.

Date: Mon, 17 Oct 2005
Subject: Very Urgent.

Dear Unkindly,

Hope this mail find you in an excellent health.I have received your moneys and will use half of for fees to free consignment. The extra will be used in case of later fees so all is covered now. Final $4650 brings total to $21950 bless you and I will be with you shortly. Days short until we are together.

Love
Miss Rose



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

As you and I have been working together on this business for almost a year now, I am assuming you made the necessary payments with the money I previously sent. Please confirm.

When can I expect you to arrive here?



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Diplomatic Courier "Service":

Please provide the arrival details for the consignment.



(The lad now makes a serious mental mistake - his first was emailing me - and confuses his fake names)

ROSE HELLEN

Date: Thu, 16 Feb 2006
Subject: Will be waiting to hear from you.

Dear Unkindly Contributor

Thank you for your understandind I am waiting to hear from you.Please Make up your minds and send the money $4.500USD by this weekend or net week. OK and try to call me+234-1-4748220

Have a nice weekend.

Barrister. Jerry Obika.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

Who in the world is BARRISTER JERRY OBIKA and WHY IS HE USING YOUR ACCOUNT?

Why didn't you use the money I sent to pay them? I already sent you the money as we agreed!

What the hell is going on?



(And now, a Taiwanese bank account for money laundering)



Subject: PAY THE MONEY THROUGH THIS ACCOUNT
Date: Fri, 17 Feb 2006

Attn Unkindly

I refer to your mail you sent to this company regarding the delivering of your consignment by the diplomats in Florida. Since you are having problems paying the money through Western union money transfer which you know that you must pay $4,500.00 dollars before the diplomats will deliver the consignment to your address in America,you are advice to pay the money through this account below and remember to send the slip of the transfer to this company via email.

SINOPAC BANK OBU BRANCH,
NO 1, LANE 236 TUNHUA SOUTH ROAD,
SECTION 1, TAIPEI TAIWAN,
SWIFT CODE; SINOTWTP020,
A/C NO; 020-008-0005783-8,
A/C NAME; VERIPOINT INTERNATIONAL LTD.

Thanks

Johnson Peters



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Mr Peters,

I am still waiting for an apology from you before we can move forward. I hope you are ready to be serious now.



DIPLOMATIC COURIER SERVICES (JONES OKON)

Date: 17 Feb 2006
ATTENTION:MRS. UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR,

MADAM,

IT MIGHT INTEREST YOU TO KNOW THAT YOUR CONSIGNMENT IS STILL INTACT WITH OUR FIRM, WE ARE CURRENTLY IN THE FLORIDA STATE, WE SHALL NOT MAK ANY MOVE UNTILL WE RECEIVED THE SAID PAYMENT FROM YOU.

WE HAVE OTHER CUSTOMERS THAT WANTS THEIR CONSIGNMENT TO BE DELIVERED TO THEM AT A DEPERATE TIME, YOU ARE ADVISED CONTACT US WITH THE PAYMENT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. UPON THE RECEIPT OF THIS PAYMENT, WE SHALL GIVE YOU FULL DETAILS ABOUT OUR ARRIVAL ARRANGEMENT.

YOUR'S FAITHFULLY,

MR. JONES OKON.

ASSISTANT DIRECTOR.


(That's dueling DCS's. Both DCS email addresses are now mailing me. This one still addresses me as a woman.)


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Sir:

Is that an apology?

Please provide the address of your office in Florida, as I have a friend who can travel there shortly. This will remove the need for anyone from DCS to have to travel and will allow for any fund transfers to occur in person at your offices rather than via unreliable means.

Regards



(Rose tries to explain away Jerry Obika.)

ROSE HELLEN

Date: Fri, 17 Feb 2006
Subject: Extremely urgent.

Dear Unkindly,

My boss Barrister jerry Obika has traveled outside the state for an urgent matter that required his services, I am his personal assistant in this chamber, I want to inform you that I have borrowed about $2,000.00 as directed by my boss, I would like you to contact the Diplomat with the balance $2,500.00 today so that they can have the consignment delivered to your destination.

Do you wish to send the money through this office? or directly to the Diplomat? please let me know because my boss is not around, I am a lady that believe in God and I maintain my christian life. I suggest you send the money through my side so that I can pass it to them inorder to enable them facilitate this transaction.

For your information, all the miscallaneous expenses you may have made for the transaction will be reimburse back to you as soon as you receive the consignment from the Diplomat.

Please let me know your decision right now upon making the payment.

Regards,
Mrs. Rose Hellen.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

Three notes:
1. I already sent you over $21,000. You have my approval to use that money for these costs. 21950 is greater than 4500. No further money should be needed.

2. Why did you sign your name "Mrs. Rose"?? After all the emails we have shared over the past year, after all the plans we have made, now you sign as a married woman? I know you stopped mailing for a month or two there but I gave you your time and now you have come back and I know we will be happy together but then I see this "Mrs" Rose and I have to ask - are you not going to be my bride as you promised? You know I have your photo by my bed and I am waiting to greet you when you arrive as you promised.

3. Why do you work for someone? You have millions already so what is going on? Who is Jerry Obika? You KNOW all lawyers are thieves.





Subject: Re: PAY THE MONEY THROUGH THIS ACCOUNT Date: Mon, 20 Feb 2006
Attn Unkindly

I refer to your mail you sent to this company regarding the delivering of your consignment by the diplomats in Florida and also the apology which you said that I deserve to you so that we can move forward the diplomats will deliver your consignment once you pay the money to this account and send to this company the payment slip of the transfer.

SINOPAC BANK OBU BRANCH,
NO 1, LANE 236 TUNHUA SOUTH ROAD,
SECTION 1, TAIPEI TAIWAN,
SWIFT CODE; SINOTWTP020,
A/C NO; 020-008-0005783-8,
A/C NAME; VERIPOINT INTERNATIONAL LTD.

Thanks

Johnson Peters



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Sir,

I am still waiting for an apology from your director Mr Jones Okon for his incredibly unprofessional behaviour and his unwarranted insults.

Rather than sending money to Taiwan, I will have it with me when I visit your Florida office and we can transfer it from your office directly. That will be quicker and less prone to error.

PLEASE PROVIDE THE ADDRESS FOR YOUR FLORIDA OFFICE.

WHO IS VERIPOINT INTERNATIONAL LTD?

Do not reply without answering those questions.

Regards



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

I sent the details two days ago but the DCS people have provided no response. Honestly, these inept people are impossible to deal with.

I expect the consignment to be delivered today or tomorrow.





Date: Fri, 24 Feb 2006
Attn unkindly

PAY IN THE MONEY WITH THIS ACCOUNT SO THAT THE DIPLOMATS WILL DELIVER YOUR CONSIGNMENT WITHOUT PAYING THE MONEY THE DIPLOMATS WILL NOT DELIVER YOUR CONSIGNMEMT OK
SINOPAC BANK OBU BRANCH,
NO 1, LANE 236 TUNHUA SOUTH ROAD,
SECTION 1, TAIPEI TAIWAN,
SWIFT CODE; SINOTWTP020,
A/C NO; 020-008-0005783-8,
A/C NAME; VERIPOINT INTERNATIONAL LTD. Thanks
Johnson Peters



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Mr Peters,

Thank you for your reply. The fund has been transferred to Taiwan.

Please let me know when the consignment will be arriving.

You seem to have ignored that payment just as you ignored my requests:

PLEASE PROVIDE THE ADDRESS FOR YOUR FLORIDA OFFICE.

WHO IS VERIPOINT INTERNATIONAL LTD?

Do not reply without answering those questions.

Regards



(Point out the obvious)

UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

I sent the transfer slip to the DCS people but they still have not sent the consignment!

I don't understand why you aren't screaming bloody hell at them.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

WHAT IS GOING ON? THE DCS PEOPLE HAVE THE TRANSFER BUT THERE IS NO CONSIGNMENT HERE!

CALL THEM TODAY AND YELL AT THEM UNTIL THEY PRODUCE IT.

THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE!



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Sirs:

SINCE YOU HAVE THE TRANSFER, YOU MUST PROVIDE THE CONSIGNMENT. YOUR UNPROFESSIONAL BEHAVIOUR AND UNACCEPTABLE DELAYS MUST COME TO AN END.

PLEASE PROVIDE THE EXACT DAY AND LOCATION FOR THE DELIVERY OF THE CONSIGNMENT.





Subject: SIT UP NOW AND RECEIVE YOUR CONSINGMENT Date: Mon, 27 Feb 2006
Attn UNKINDLY,

PAY IN THE MONEY WITH THIS ACCOUNT SO THAT THE DIPLOMATS WILL DELIVER YOUR CONSIGNMENT W ITHOUT PAYING THE MONEY THE DIPLOMATS WILL NOT DELIVER YOUR CONSIGNMEMT OK VERIPOINT IS AN ACCOUNT OF THE DIPLOMATIC SERVICES WHICH THEY NORMALY ANY TRANSACTION THEY HAVE SO YOU ARE THEREFORE ADVICE TO PAY IN THE MONEY THERE AND SEND THE THE SLIP TO THIS COMPANY IT SEEMS THAT YOUR ARE FUNNY BY TELLING ME THAT YOU SENT SLIP BUT NO ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

SINOPAC BANK OBU BRANCH,
NO 1, LANE 236 TUNHUA SOUTH ROAD,
SECTION 1, TAIPEI TAIWAN,
SWIFT CODE; SINOTWTP020,
A/C NO; 020-008-0005783-8,
A/C NAME; VERIPOINT INTERNATIONAL LTD. Thanks
Johnson Peters



(Zip some mpgs, rename them .doc, and attach - )

UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Mr Peters,

I already sent the money, and I sent the funds to you last week. I have attached a copy of the transfer slip to this email message.

Please provide the exact location of your office for the consignment delivery. I cannot understand why such a simple question is so difficult for you to answer.



ROSE HELLEN

Date: Mon, 27 Feb 2006
Subject: Urgent.

Dear Unkindly,

Thanks for your email.

In your last email, I couldn't understand what you meant, I would like you to explain everything in details about your recent dealing with the DCS, because I am left with no information about the progress of this transaction. Have you made the payment to the DCS? What is the latest development between you and them? please let me know as soon as possible.

Miss Rose Hellen.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

I don't understand your confusion. I made the payment and sent them the transfer slip. Now they are asking for the payment again! How many times do I have to pay these idiots before they do their job??

Please yell at them until they start acting like serious businessmen instead of acting like little kids who don't know what they are doing.

I am sending the slip to them again. I hope they are smart enough to know how to open an email!



(The wheels are rapidly falling off their train of thought)

ROSE HELLEN

Date: Tue, 28 Feb 2006
Subject: plesae Try

Dear Unkindly,

Thanks for your email.

plesae forwarded payment information to me so that can know what do now with DCS officer here nigeria. I am waiting to hear from you. OK

Miss Rose Hellen



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

Did you yell at those morons? It seems like you are taking their side instead of our side. Why would you do that?

I have attached the slip, again - how many times do I need to send it? The money already went through so there is NOTHING that should be stopping the LAZY IDIOTS at DCS from sending the consignment.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Sirs:

What is taking you so long? Why are you not doing your job?

What is your address in Florida?

When will the consignment be delivered?

IT IS LONG PAST TIME FOR YOU TO BE SERIOUS.



ROSE HELLEN

Date: Wed, 1 Mar 2006
Subject: Try to call me+234-1-4748220

Dear Unkindly Contributor.

Thank you for your email.
I was unable to download the attached file, I would like you to resend it again without any problem since my Computer could not download the previous one, if possible I can give you a fax number where you will fax it. If really that you have made this payment to the Diplomat, there will be no problem for you to make this provision to me.
Please contact the Diplomat by phone, you should be addressive and submissive while expressing the whole things to them so that they can work on this consignment.

I await fot hear from you.

Miss Rose Hellen.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

It works fine on my side.

Please contact the Diplomat by phone, you should be addressive and submissive while expressing the whole things to them so that they can work on this consignment.

That is the stupidest thing I've ever read. These DCS people are MORONS. Now they are THIEVES as well as they have my transfer money but they have NOT DELIVERED THE CONSIGNMENT.

WHY SHOULD I OR ANYONE BE SUBMISSIVE TO IDIOTS LIKE THAT? THE ONES I TALKED TO PROBABLY NEED HELP PUTTING ON THEIR SHOES THEY ARE THAT STUPID.

YOU - YOU, NOT ME - SHOULD BE CALLING THEM DEMANDING TO KNOW WHY THEY ARE NOT DOING THEIR JOB.

I AM NOT AMUSED.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

WHERE IS MY CONSIGNMENT? YOU HAVE MY MONEY. NOW PROVIDE THE CONSIGNMENT IMMEDIATELY.

IF IT IS NOT HERE BY MONDAY THEN YOU WILL ANSWER TO THE POLICE.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

YOU HAVE MY PAYMENT NOW WHERE IS MY CONSIGNMENT?

HAVE IT HERE BY MONDAY OR I CALL THE POLICE.



ROSE HELLEN

Date: Sun, 5 Mar 2006
Subject: Forwarded payment information (NOW OK)

Dear Unkindly Contributor,

Thanks for your email.

plesae forwarded payment information to me so that can know what do now with DCS officer here nigeria. I am waiting to hear from you. OK

Miss Rose Hellen



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

What the hell are you talking about? I am calling the police on Monday. YOU SHOULD BE SENDING DEMANDING EMAILS TO THE FUCKING IDIOTS AT DCS, NOT ME. I ALREADY SENT THE PAYMENT AND THE PROOF OF PAYMENT.

IF ANYONE SAYS OTHERWISE, THEY ARE LYING. THE MONEY IS IN THE TAIWAN BANK ACCOUNT, I SENT YOU THE SLIP THAT SHOWS THAT.

I AM CALLING THE POLICE ON MONDAY IF THE CONSIGNMENT IS NOT DELIVERED.





Subject: SEND THE TRACER
Date: Mon, 6 Mar 2006

Attn Unkindly

I refer to your mails you sent to this company over the $4,500.00 dollars you said that you pay to the account given to you,if you are sure that you paid the money send tracer to this company to enable this company track it down and deliver your consignment urgently because the money is not there in the account.

Waiting to receive the tracer from you soonest.

Thanks

Johnson Peters


(The Taiwan account is the type of account that is usually controlled by an offshore accomplice who will accept the transfer, take a percentage off the top, and then forward the remainder to the lads. The least I can do is sow distrust here.)


UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Mr Peters,

IF THE TAIWAN PEOPLE ARE LYING TO YOU THAT IS YOUR PROBLEM, NOT MINE.

I already sent you the money and the transfer slip.
IF THE CONSIGNMENT IS NOT HERE TONIGHT I AM CALLING THE POLICE TOMORROW MORNING. I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF YOUR INSULTS. THE MONEY IS IN THE TAIWAN BANK AS CONFIRMED BY THE STATEMENTS ALREADY SENT TO YOU.

PRODUCE THE CONSIGNMENT IMMEDIATELY OR PREPARE TO ANSWER QUESTIONS FROM THE POLICE.





Subject: SEND THE TRACER OF THE TRANSFER URGENTLY
Date: Tue, 7 Mar 2006
ATTN: UNKINDLY,

I REFER TO YOUR MAIL YOU SENT TO THIS COMPANY OVER $4,500 DOLLARS YOU SAID THAT YOU PAID TO THE TAIWAN ACCOUNT WHICH I ASKED YOU TO SEND THE TRACER TO ENABLE THIS COMPANY TRACK THE MONEY DOWN AND DELIVER YOUR CONSIGNMENT. WITHOUT RECEIVEING THE TRACER WE CANNOT RECEIVE THE MONEY SO THEREFORE SEND THE TRACER IMMEDIATELY IF YOU ARE SURE THAT YOU SENT THE MONEY TO THE ACCOUNT GIVEN TO YOU.

I ADVICE YOU TO STOP BEEN NASTY BY TREATING THIS COMPANY BY MENTIONING POLICE ALL THE TIME YOU ARE WRITING MAIL TO THIS COMPANY.

THANKS WAITING TO RECEIVE THE TRACER URGENTLY.

JOHNSON PETERS



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Sir:

You have given me no option but to call the police. I have paid for a service and sent you the proof of that payment.

I sent that proof multiple times. If the Taiwan people are lying to you about receiving the funds, that is your problem not mine.

Despite being paid, you have refused to deliver the consignment.

I can only conclude that you are a thief.

Expect the police soonest.



(Meanwhile, a friend chipped in, attempting to portray a higher-up lad who has intercepted the payment:)

NKOTI to DIPLOMATIC COURIER SERVICES

MUGU I DON CHOP YOUR DOLLAR. MAGA UNKINDLY MONI LOOK FINE IN MY WALLET!

YOU NA SMALL SMALL BOY NO MESS WITH OGA.



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

Good news! I called the police and they have started an investigation. I gave them your computer headers, the identifiers for the DCS idiots, the bank accounts, the addresses, everything. Soon those fucking idiots will be in jail.

When are you arriving?



(Ticked off lads who feel betrayed and duped. Always a happy ending.)


(BUT WAIT! HERE THEY COME AGAIN!)

BARRISTER JOHN DOUGLAS DOUGLAS

Date: Fri, 17 Mar 2006
From: "BARRISTER JOHN DOUGLAS DOUGLAS"
<barr_johndouglas2001ng@yahoo.com>
Subject: PETITION

From The Desk Of Barrister John Douglas.
John Douglas % Associates.

Attn: Unkindly Contributor ,

I am BARRISTER JOHN DOUGLAS, a legal practioner,senior advocate and a human right activist(HRA).

Consequent to the payment of your outstanding fund by the banking institution here in Nigeria,I hereby write to the Federal Gorverment and other top bank officials,They have since being sued for the delay in the payment of your outstanding beneficiary fund.
Couple with the information available to me, i discovered that you are a bonafide beneficiary to certain amount of fund, and as a result of not in the position to procure the relevant papers you fund has since being seized.

It is in my interest to let you know the upon the succesful completion of this case soonest, your payment will be effected by the CITIBANK IN NEW YORK as will be insructed by the CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA (CBN). Without any upfront payment demand.

Please be informed that as a human right activist, i am fighting this course to secure the right of our foreign partners to foster and promote the great name of my country and to establish my position in the legal industry,which is based on humanitarian ground.

Kindly re-confirm to me immediately your particulars for proper documentation and presentation of same to the court on your behalf.(full name/contact address,bank account,tel/fax).

Regards,
BARRISTER JOHN DOUGLAS



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

What are you talking about?


BARRISTER JOHN DOUGLAS DOUGLAS

Date: Fri, 17 Mar 2006
Subject: PETITION

Attention Unkindly Contributor,

Thanks for your mail.

What i am talking about is your fund that has been over due for payment, please almost all the contractors has been paid so i need your information such as you telephone and fax number home address to aneble me obtain the relevant Documents that will back up your fund.

I await to hear from you.

Regards,
John



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

I don't understand what fund you are talking about.


BARRISTER JOHN DOUGLAS DOUGLAS

Date: Fri, 17 Mar 2006
Subject: Urgent Reply

Attention Unkindly Contributor,

Thanks for your mail.

The fund in question in your Inheritance that was Deposited with the Standerd Trust Bank Plc valued of $35.5 million Dollar please check your file very well and get back to me now before we proceed.

Regards,
John
UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

I think you are looking for someone else. I have never deal with Standard Trust Bank Plc. They are not in my Yellow Pages phone directory.


(Finally he tips his hand)

BARRISTER JOHN DOUGLAS DOUGLAS

Date: Sun, 19 Mar 2006
Subject: Urgent Reply

Attention Unkindly Contributor,

This is to inform you that i have you in my file, If i may ask do you know one mrs, Rose Hellen? he was arrested in fraudlent, so please if you know her it means that is the fund i am taking about.

I wait your reply. John



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

John,
Rose Hellen is to be my wife. She and I have spoken many times. So I do not comprehend your sentence that "he was arrested in fraudulent" with regard to Rose. Please explain yourself.

The fraud people called Diplomatic Courier Services received my payment in their Taiwan branch but then lied about it so I have turned that matter over to the police.



(Crickets chirp for 9 days)


ROSE HELLEN

Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2006
Subject: ANSWER

Attn Unkindly

I am waiting to hear from you.Call me+234-1-4748220



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Miss Rose,

I have been informed that you have been arrested for fraud. I do not wish to call you while you are in jail.

I await your long-promised arrival here so we can discuss these matters and our future in person.



ROSE HELLEN

Date: Tue, 28 Mar 2006
Subject: ANSWER

Hi Unkindly Contributor

What the hell are you talking about? understand what and Call me +234-1-4748220

Miss Rose Hellen



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

I do not appreciate such language from you.

After you disappeared with my money, I received this notice:

"This is to inform you that i have you in my file, If i may ask do you know one mrs, Rose Hellen? he was arrested in fraudlent."

As I had planned to welcome you into my life and my arms, I am shocked.

I will NOT call. After being lied to and having had my money taken, I will wait until I can look you in the eye and judge for myself if you really love me and can be trusted.

Please let me know when you will be out of jail and ready to travel here.



ROSE HELLEN

Date: Wed, 29 Mar 2006
Subject: ANSWER

Hi Unkindly Contributor

Pls call diplomati in florida and get back to me today ok Miss Rose Hellen



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

MIss Rose,

Diplomatic Courier Services in Florida took my money and then lied about it. I have given their information to the police.



(same message, new subject:)

ROSE HELLEN

Date: Wed, 29 Mar 2006
Subject: TRY TO CALL MY BOS BARR JERRY OBIKA+234-8026241209 Hi Unkindly Contributor Pls call diplomati in florida and get back to me today ok Miss Rose Hellen



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

Who is Jerry Obika? Since you have millions of dollars, why do you have a boss?

I am not calling anybody until you and I meet face to face and discuss our future and these liars.



ROSE HELLEN

Date: Wed, 29 Mar 2006
Subject: Forwarded payment information (NOW AND CALL ME+234-1-4748220

Dear Unkindly Contributor,

Thanks for your email. plesae forwarded payment information to me so that can know what do now with DCS officer here nigeria. I am waiting to hear from you. OK Miss Rose Hellen



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

You're joking, right? I already forwarded that to you multiple times. DCS people are criminals. Have nothing to do with them.


ROSE HELLEN

Date: Wed, 29 Mar 2006
Subject: PLS TRY TO DO,

Dear Unkindly Contributor,

Thanks for your email.

plesae forwarded payment information to me so that can know what do now with DCS officer here nigeria. I am waiting to hear from you. OK

Miss Rose Hellen



UNKINDLY CONTRIBUTOR

I already answered that question you don't need to say it twice.

Here, I'll say it twice: MUGU. MUGU.


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