I AM NOT A JOKER

updated sept2

--> The Dark Knight emerges to face "David Adams", a scammer from the scammer factory. This is not Batman's usual line of work, but since Robin turned him on to the whole scam thing, he's found it helps pass the time while waiting for those urgent beacons from Gotham City.

DAVID ADAMS - scammer of note
versus
BRUCE WAYNE - none other


DAVID ADAMS

OK honesty compels -- we were not sent the original e-mail which sparked this exchange. However, we think it was the following, used by many Lads (search on "Toshio Kuzito"). As usual, remember that the Lads borrow names willy nilly and TK may be or have been a real person, who knows nothing about this and deserves no grief.

Dear Sir/Madam ,

I am making this contact with you in good faith. I got your email address from the Foreign Department in our Ministry of Foreign Affairs Office. I am working with the Standard Trust Bank Limited, Apapa Branch Lagos. My purpose of writing you is to ask for your assistance to provide your bank account where we can successfully secure the sum of $10.5 million (ten million five hundred thousand united states dollars). For your information, there is one Japanese business merchant based here in Nigeria and his name is Mr. Toshio Kuzito. He was the owner of kuzito fisheries Nig. Ltd, located at No.125 industrial zone, Oshodi expressway, Isolo here in Lagos now have been taken over by Government of Nigeria because nobody came for this company after the death of Mr. Toshio.This man died in a plane crash in 2002 together with his wife here in Nigeria. He was ! banking with my bank and I m his accounting officer. However, since the death of Mr. Toshio, I have been trying to contact any of his relative in the city of Osaka, his home country Japan through his address with me, to let his people know about his money in our bank but I did not receive any response. I later remembered that Mr. Toshio came to my country out of shame he was receiving from his country because he was impotent. This secret he revealed to me when he was alive because I pestered him to introduce his children to me. Now I have decided to link anybody to stand as Mr. Toshio next of kin in order to claim the money he deposited here as Fixed Solid Investment since nobody knew about it. Government of my country will pay it to Federal Reserve if I should declare to them about this fund. Note that there is no risk involved in this transaction, as I will give you all information you may need about Mr. Toshio and his banking relationship with my branch to enable you stand as his next of kin to receive this money in you'r account. This transaction will go through normal banking process only that you have to stand firm as the next of kin to Mr. Toshio just to claim this money. I will direct you on how to apply for the claims of this money. Please if you are interested and capable to carry out this deal with me, contact me through my email address {mr.adams@seeqmail.com} or { davidadams03@yahoo.com }. I will require the following information from you for procession of the fund in your favour.

1. Your private phone and fax number
2. Your account information where this fund will be paid into.
3. Your home address. I personally need your home address because I do not know you too well before now only that I decided to work with you on trust believing God that you will not cheat on me.! Note that we can conclude this transaction within 2 weeks upon your compliance in applying for the claims to our Head Office, as I will direct you. I will give you 25 percent after we conclude this transaction. Be duly informed that I will be resigning from this banking work to come over to your country after the transfer of this fund to your account. I will then engage myself in international business since I will have enough money for any kind of business after this transaction. You need not to be afraid because in as much as I would want my reputation protected, I would also want yours to also be protected. I 'm waiting for your urgent response.

Best regards,

{ used by luminaries such as "DAVID ADAMS", "NIKOLAS OKAFOR", "MR EZE" ... }


DAVID ADAMS

Mr Adams

I have received a very strange message from you. Is this an emergency, and do you really need my assistance? Neither I or my assistant Dick Grayson can decide what to do.

Bruce

Bruce Wayne
Wayne Mansion
Gotham
California 41969
USA
00 1 212 388 0191


DAVID ADAMS

From: mr.adams@seeqmail.com
Subject: THANKS FOR YOUR RESPONSE.
Date: Mon, 19 Jul 2004 04:10:04 -0700 (PDT)

ATTENTION MR BRUCE,

THANKS FOR YOUR MAIL IN RESPECT OF MY PROPOSAL TO YOU.I HAVE DECIDED TO DO THIS DEAL WITH YOU AND HEREBY ASSURE YOU OF MY SINCERITY AND ZEAL TO GO AHEAD WITH YOU AND ALSO YOU HAVE TO ASSURE ME OF YOUR HONESTY AND CONFIDENCIALITY OF THIS BUSINESS.

PLEASE YOU CAN CALL ME ON 234-80-33082526. YOU SHOULD ALSO FURNISH ME WITH YOUR MOBILE TELEPHONE NUMBER FOR EASIER COMMUNICATION AS YOU CAN ALSO GET ME 24 HOURS ON MY NUMBER.I WILL SEND YOU A FORM WHICH YOU WILL FILL AND RETURN BACK TO ME TO ENABLE THIS TRANSACTION START OFF IMMEDIATELY AS I GURANTEE THE TRANSFER INTO YOUR NORMINATED BANK ACCOUNT. EXPECTING YOUR URGENT RESPONSE IN THIS REGARD.

I WILL CALL YOU TODAY.
THANKS

MR DAVID ADAMS.


BRUCE WAYNE

JULY 20 Mr Adams,

Thanks for this. It sounds rather exciting. I'd be very upset if you were some kind of riddler or joker, though. I have a lot of money that I use for good causes and myself and Dick Grayson really hope this is genuine.

Bruce


DAVID ADAMS

Subject: THIS IS NOT A JOKE
Date: Tue, 20 Jul 2004 03:36:52 -0700 (PDT)

ATTN: MR BRUCE,
THANKS FOR YOUR EMAIL.I AM NOT A JOKER THIS IS A SERIOUS BUSINESS WHICH I REQUIRE YOUR ABSOLUTE HONESTY IN THIS REGARDS.I CALLED YOU YESTERDAY SO THAT WE CAN TALK ONE ON ONE BUT THE TELEPHONE LINE WAS ON FAX.PLEASE YOU CAN GIVE ME YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER PREFAREBLY YOUR MOBILE TELEPHONE LINE AS YOU CAN CALL ME ON MY MOBILE TELEPHONE NUMBER 234-80-33082526. I WILL SEND YOU THE COPY OF THE FORM TO COMPLETE AND SEND BACK TO ME.
PLEASE CALL ME.
THANKS AND BEST REGARDS
MR DAVID ADAMS


BRUCE WAYNE

Date: Wed Jul 21, 2004 2:08:20 AM US/Pacific

Dear Mr. Adams,

I didn't mean to offend you. But you must see it from my point of view. I get all sorts of strange e-mails, and not all of them are honest. But as I read your e-mail I am becoming convinced of your intentions. Please let me know how to proceed.

Bruce

[ after a short break from anti-scamming, it's time to toss another pebble at the window... ]


BRUCE WAYNE

Date: Mon Jul 26, 2004 9:28:35 AM US/Pacific

Dear Mr Adams

My apologies for this. Of course I know this is not a joke. Please call me on this number: 1-877-422-4642 and ask to speak to either myself or Robin my PA. If he isnt there then ask for the secretary Penny Guin.

I have tried your number but it does not seem to connect by the way. Please check this as it may be serious.

Bruce


DAVID ADAMS

Subject: very urgent from mr adams.
Date: Fri, 30 Jul 2004 03:10:59 -0700 (PDT)

Attn: Mr Bruce,

I know you must be surprise to hear from me since last two weeks. My mail box has been going through a technical problem which are yet to be rectify. I try to reach you on phone to tell you the latest development in view of what next to do and how to conclude this business urgently. And we have to continue our communication with this yahoo mail address for easier and security reasons.

Meanwhile I have made arrangement with a reputable attorney to handle the legal aspect of this transaction and I will brief you of the development. Please acknowledge the receipt of this mail so that I can send you the form to fill and send back to me for documentation. The transaction at this level could be achieved under eight banking days. You have to assure me of your honesty and zeal to conclude this business with me. Henceforth we should communicate through this mail address. Why cant you people call me on phone as I can not get you on phone because the number you gave to me 212-3880191 is permanently on fax. Feel free to speak with me any time on 234-8033082526. Please my brother this is not a joke and have been praying and fasting for this business to go through without any problem from your side and God have assured me of the success and also I advises you people to always put every thing in prayer because with God all things are possible.

Expecting your urgent response.

Mr. David Adams


BRUCE WAYNE

Date: Sat Jul 31, 2004 3:29:48 AM US/Pacific
To: davidadams03@yahoo.com

Dear Mr Adams

I am so glad and relieved to hear from you again, after fearing something was wrong. Indeed my fiance Penny Guin was suggesting that you might be something of a joker.

However now we are back talking together let us move this modality forward as soon as possible. I will turn the fax off and expect to hear from you. Please be patient, as this is a busy line. I am expecting an urgent call from Adam West, my tailor concerning a cowl for the evenings, and so will be in just by the receiver to pick it up at once in any case.

I hope you are well.

God help you,

Bruce

PS Is your phone working? I cannot get through.


DAVID ADAMS

Subject: very urgent
Date: Wed, 11 Aug 2004 05:50:47 -0700 (PDT)

Attn: Mr Bruce

What is happening? Hope all is well. I am worried. Are you out of town or are you interest in the deal that is risk free? Please try and get in touch with me on my telephone number 234-8033082526 or send me an email today unfailingly.

Best regards,

David Adams


BRUCE WAYNE

3 Aug 2004 15:41:23.0790

Dear Mr Adams

I am sorry not to have written before. I was out of town on a special assignment and rather out of touch. Some joker was responsible for keeping me absent but he will not be a distraction again.

Where are we with this business?

Bruce


DAVID ADAMS

Date: Wed, 18 Aug 2004 00:47:28 -0700 (PDT)

DEAR MR BRUCE,
PLEASE FILL THE ATTACHED FORM I SENT TO YOU.YOU HAVE TO SEND IT TO ME FOR CONFIRMATION BEFORE SENDING IT TO THE BANK.
THANKS.
DAVID ADAMS


DAVID ADAMS

Subject: REMINDER ABOUT THE FORM.
Date: Thu, 5 Aug 2004 10:33:04 -0700 (PDT)

DEAR MR BRUCE,
HOW ARE YOU TODAY,I AM WAITING FOR THE FORM.PLEASE FILL IT AND RETURN BACK.
THANKS AND GOD BLESS.
MR DAVID ADAMS.


BRUCE WAYNE

13 Aug 2004 15:44:10.0151

Dear Mr Adams

I have replied already by way of apology, thanks for being so patient. You are something of a superhero in my book for that!

Bruce


DAVID ADAMS

Date: Wed, 18 Aug 2004 00:47:28 -0700 (PDT)

DEAR MR BRUCE,
PLEASE FILL THE ATTACHED FORM I SENT TO YOU.YOU
HAVE
TO SEND IT TO ME FOR CONFIRMATION BEFORE SENDING IT
TO
THE BANK.
THANKS.
DAVID ADAMS.


BRUCE WAYNE

Dear Mr Adams

Did you get the form? You are very quiet. I do not know if my paperwork requires a witnessed oath? If so I can ask our local commissioner, name of Gordon.

Bruce


DAVID ADAMS

Subject: VERY URGENT.
Date: Wed, 18 Aug 2004 12:45:46 -0700 (PDT)

DEAR MR BRUCE,
I DID NOT RECEIEVE THE FORM.I DONT KNOW WHAT YOU MEANT THAT I AM QUIET.I HOPE YOU ARE TAKING THIS BUSINESS WITH EVERY SERIOUSNESS IT DESERVES.
YOU DONT NEED ANY OAT,JUST FILL THE FORM AND ENCLOSE YOUR BANK ACCOUNT DETAILS AND SEND TO ME WITHOUT DELAY FOR MY CONFIRMATION THAT YOU FILLED IT CORRECTLY BEFORE SENDING IT TO THE BANK.
PLEASE YOU HAVE TO BE SERIOUS BECAUSE OF TIME FACTOR.
THANKS AND BEST REGARDS.
DAVID ADAMS.


BRUCE WAYNE

Date: 24 Aug 2004, 03:44:01 AM

Dear Mr Adams

Please send the form again as I think my young ward Dick Grayson has been using the computer and has deleted one or two files by mistake. My apologies for the delay in response but I have fighting like a superhero against a terrific workload, which has taken me away from the office for a few days.

I know time is pressing and need to make up for lost time, so Lets get moving like a bat out of hell on this, especially I am very short of funds at present.

BRUCE


DAVID ADAMS

Subject: VERY URGENT.
Date: Thu, 26 Aug 2004 03:47:45 -0700 (PDT)

DEAR MR BRUCE,
I AM SUPRISE ABOUT YOUR EXCUSES AND HIGHLY WORRIED IN DELAY OF THIS TRANSACTION. FRANKLY SPEAKING I HAVE STARTED NEW ARRANGMENT SINCE MONDAY,AND THIS IS THE LAST CHANCE I WILL GIVE YOU WHICH FAILURE TO COMPLY TO MY DIRECTIVES ACCORDINGLY I WILL STOP FURTHER COMMUNICATION WITH YOU.
PLEASE BE SERIOUS THIS TIME,I DONT LIKE LIES AND THIS IS NOT A CHILDISH BUSINESS.YOU TOLD ME LAST WEEK THAT YOU ALREADY SENT THE FORM,DIDNT I RECEIVE IT.I CANNOT GET YOU ON TELEPHONE AND YOU CANNOT CALL ME WHICH SHOWS UNSERIOUSNESS AND LUKEWORM ATTITUDE TO BUSINESS.HOW COMES SOMEBODY KNOWS YOUR PASSWORD AS TO DELIT YOUR FILE.THIS IS A BUSINESS OF MUTUAL BENEFIT AND I AM NOT BEGGING TO CONCLUDE IT WITH YOU .PLEASE HOW OLD ARE YOU.I AM 57 YEARS OLD AND A GRAND FATHER OF TWO.I WILL RETIRE IN 3 YEARS TIME AND THIS BUSINESS IS MY LAST OPPURTUNITY.
I HEREBY FORWARD THE FORM AGAIN TO YOU AND HOPE YOU ACT URGENTLY AND RETURN THE FORM TO ME FOR CONFIRMATION BEFORE MONDAY.
THANKS AND BEST REGARDS.
MR DAVID ADAMS. \


BRUCE WAYNE

Date: 27 Aug 2004, 07:40:27 AM

Holy cow, Mr Adams!

I am not sure that I like this tone of voice, I took you for a serious and honest business man and now you are getting rather rude which is off putting to say the least! Or perhaps this is the work of a joker.

I am sorry that you are elderly and with a pair of rickety grandchildren but this hardly is the point. I am doing my best here and now you insult me. I have to ask myself if it worth continuing, after all it hardly my fault if you have lost the forms. My assistant Penny Guin has been quite certain they were sent.

If you do not apologise for this outburst then it will be so much the worse for the trust we were starting to building. First you are polite, then rude, and so you will excuse me if I say that I am finding you a bit of riddler, sir.

You will excuse me if I am too harsh but I am under some worry today.One of my felines is poorly and I have had to send for the vet. The catwoman is due here soon.

BRUCE


DAVID ADAMS

Subject: I AM SORRY.
Date: Sat, 28 Aug 2004 09:21:13 -0700 (PDT)

DEAR MR BRUCE,
THANKS FOR YOUR MESSAGE.YOUR DELAY OF THIS BUSINESS REALY MAKES ME FEEL VERY UNCOMFORTABLE AND ABOVE ALL YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I AM GOING THROUGH.
I THINK I DID NOT INSULT YOU IN ANY FORM BUT IF YOUFEEL INSULTED IN MY LAST MAIL TO YOU,I SINCERELY FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEARTH APPOLOGISE TO YOU.YOU SHOULD FORGET AND FORGIVE, SO THAT WE CAN MOVE AHEAD AND CONCLUDE THIS TRANSACTION.
I ALSO SENT THE FORM TO YOU WHICH YOU DID NOT MAKE ANY COMMENT.PLEASE FILL THE FORM AND RETURN IT BACK TO ME.I ALSO HAVE TO RESEND IT THE THIRD TIME AGAIN.
THANKS AND REMAIN BLESSED.
MR DAVID ADAMS.


BRUCE WAYNE

Date: 30 Aug 2004, 04:10:53 PM
Subject: Test of claim document for Mr Adams
Dear Mr Adans

Will this do? Please advise and I will send it in.

I am sorry about the tone of my last message. But dont mind telling you that I am very nervous. I am so worried about this that I feel like hiding in a cave and only coming out at night!

Anyway let me know.

Bruce Wayne

> THE EXECUTIVE BOARD,
>
> STANDARD TRUST BANK PLC,
>
> HEAD OFFICE,
>
> LAGOS -NIGERIA.
>
> ATT: MR. SHOTAYO JOHNSON,
>
> SIR,
>
> RE: LETTER OF CLAIMS FOR MY LATE RELATIVE'S FUND OF
> US$10.5 MILLION WHICH HE DEPOSITED IN APAPA BRANCH
> OF YOUR GOOD BANK IN REFERENCE TO ACCOUNT NO: 133
> 0643 6699
>
> I AM WRITING IN RESPECT OF MY LATE RELATIVE'S FUND
> {MR. TOSHIO KUZITO} WHO DIED IN A GHASTLY AIR CRASH
> INVOLVING ADC AIRLINE COUPLE OF YEAR AGO. I'M SORRY
> FOR NOT BEEN ABLE TO COME FORWARD TO CLAIM MY LATE
> RELATIVE'S FUND AS STIPULATED IN SOME OF THE
> DOCUMENTS YOU HAVE OVER THERE IN YOUR GOOD BANK. I
> HAVE BEEN AWAY FROM MY COUNTRY ALL THIS WHILE ON A
> VERY SERIOUS PRIVATE MISSION OF WHICH I JUST CAME
> BACK, AND IÕM NOW SET TO CLAIM MY INHERITANCE OF
> US$10.5MILLION (TEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND
> UNITED STATES DOLLARS) WHICH HAS BEEN IN YOUR
> POSSESSION BEFORE MY RELATIVE'S UNTIMELY DEATH. I
> WOULD BE VERY GLAD IF MY INHERITANCE ISSUE IS LOOKED
> INTO AND THE FUND PAID INTO MY BANK ACCOUNT WHICH IS
> STATED BELOW:
>
> NAME OF BANK and address:

Alfred Butler Holdings PLC
2 Dk Grayson Ward
69 Old Bolocks
London
UZA CNT
ENGLAND

> BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER:

5473822 - 1

account handler - Glassov Vimto

> BENEFICIARY'S PERSONAL DETAILS

Bruce Wayne
Wayne Mansion
Gotham
California 41969
USA
00 1 212 388 0191

> BENEFICIARYÕS EMAIL:

MrBruce_Wayne@hotmail.com

> FURTHERMORE, IF YOU HAVE ANY QUESTION OR WOULD WISH
> TO CONTACT ME ON THIS MATTER, PLEASE FEEL FREE TO DO
> SO BY CALLING ME ON THE ABOVE TELEPHONE AND FAX
> NUMBERS. I AM LOOKING FORWARD TO YOUR
> EVER-ANTICIPATED CO-OPERATION.
>
> REGARDS,
>
> YOUR SIGNATURE
>
> YOUR NAME
>


DAVID ADAMS

Subject: REMINDER.
Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2004 09:39:09 -0700 (PDT)

DEAR MR BRUCE,
I AM STILL WAITING FOR THE FORM, AND HIGHLY WORRIED ABOUT THE DELAY.THERE IS A NEW POLICY ORDER FROM CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA FOR RECAPITALIZATION BY ALL BANKS IN NIGERIA TO THE TUNE OF 25 BILLION NAIRA WITH THE CENTRAL BANK OF NIGERIA.
I DONT WANT THIS NEW POLICY TO HOLDUS BACK AND ABOVE ALL CENTRAL BANK WILL ALSO NOT ALLOW COMMERCIAL BANK TO TRANSFER ANY AMOUNT ABOVE ONE MILLION DOLLARS WITHOUT APPROVAL FROM THE APEX BANK.THIS IS THE NEW GOVERNMENT POLICY TO CHECK CAPITAL FLIGHT AND FOREIGN EXCHANGE.THIS NEW POLICY WILL EFFECTIVE VERY SOON,SO LET ME KNOW YOUR MIND BEFORE IT IS TOO LATE.
BEST REGARDS.
MR DAVID ADAMS.


BRUCE WAYNE

Date: 02 Sep 2004, 08:11:26 AM

Dear Mr Adams

Have you now received the form? I commissioned my friend Gordon to resend it out from a different number after my fax machine broke. (I have quite an old model the Chief Ohara BM1 - have you heard of it?)

I am concerned that no reply has been received. Are you still interested in the deal? This is not childs play my friend and all the modalities need addressing.

BRUCE


more to come?

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