SCAMS, THAT IS. SET AWHILE. TAKE YOUR SHOES OFF.

From a Wily Contributor in Canada who has written "MUGUN.EXE" !
The Scam-o-staff awarded this one:
Major techno-points for writing MUGUN.EXE
Major time-wasting points for tying the Lads up at least partially for six weeks
Graphics points for Jed's library card! plus making the Lads use up inkjet cartridges
Style points for the Jed imitation!

"Herewith is the text of Jed Clampett vs. the Lads:
Here are 108 messages, spanning six weeks.

Some of the messages are tedious, but they are necessary in order to maintain the thread.

The players:
Mike Chukwu, scammer
Jim Ovia, Bank Official and scammer
Barrister Graham Douglas Oni, lawyer and scammer
The late Engr. Steve Moore, whose estate we covet
Jed Clampett, the 'mark'

Note that I may be the only Scam-o-rama contributor to have obtained the _Lad's_ bank account number (see [61], [65])."

[As usual, any mistakes in formatting or graphics can be blamed on Scamorama,
but if you haven't subscribed, don't complain!]

[1]

MIKE CHUKWU

It begins... Note strange spanish footer
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To: <<***>
From: mike chukwuobi <mikechukwu@latinmail.com>
Date: Thu, 23 Jan 2003 05:24:04 -0500
Subject: GREAT  OPPROTUNITY  LEFT  FOR  US
X-Mailer: LatinMail v3.0 -- http://www.latinmail.com.com


FROM THE DESK OF MR. MIKE CHUKWU
ZENITH INTERNATIONAL BANK PLC,
LAGOS-NIGERIA.
TEL: 234-8033304784
FAX: 234-1-7591442
EMAIL: mikechukwu@latinmail.com

DEAR SIR,

STRICTLY A PRIVATE BUSINESS PROPOSAL

I AM MR. MIKE CHUKWU, THE MANAGER, BILLS AND EXCHANGE AT THE
FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT OF THE ZENITH INTERNATIONAL
BANK PLC. I AM WRITING THIS LETTER TO ASK FOR YOUR SUPPORT
AND COOPERATION TO CARRY OUT THIS BUSINESS OPPORTUNITY IN MY
DEPARTMENT. WE DISCOVERED AN ABANDONED SUM OF $15,000,000.00
(FIFTEEN MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS ONLY) IN AN ACCOUNT
THAT BELONGS TO ONE OF OUR FOREIGN CUSTOMERS WHO DIED ALONG
WITH HIS ENTIRE FAMILY OF A WIFE AND TWO CHILDREN IN
NOVEMBER 1997 IN A PLANE CRASH.

SINCE WE HEARD OF HIS DEATH, WE HAVE BEEN EXPECTING HIS
NEXT-OF-KIN TO COME OVER AND PUT CLAIMS FOR HIS MONEY AS THE
HEIR,BECAUSE WE CANNOT RELEASE THE FUND FROM HIS ACCOUNT
UNLESS SOMEONE APPLIES FOR CLAIM AS THE NEXT-OF-KIN TO THE
DECEASED AS INDICATED IN OUR BANKING GUIDELINES.

UNFORTUNATELY, NEITHER THEIR FAMILY MEMBER NOR
DISTANTRELATIVE HAS EVER APPEARED TO CLAIM THE SAID FUND.
UPON THIS DISCOVERY,I AND OTHER OFFICIALS IN MY DEPARTMENT
HAVE AGREED TO MAKE BUSINESS WITH YOU AND RELEASE THE TOTAL
AMOUNT INTO YOUR ACCOUNT AS THE HEIR OF THE FUND SINCE NO
ONE CAME FOR IT OR DISCOVERED HE MAINTAINED ACCOUNT WITH OUR
BANK, OTHERWISE THE FUND WILL BE RETURNED TO THE BANKS
TREASURY AS UNCLAIMED FUND.

WE HAVE AGREED THAT OUR RATIO OF SHARING WILL BE AS STATED
THUS;
30 % FOR YOU AS FOREIGN PARTNER,
60 % FOR US THE OFFICIALS IN MY DEPARTMENT AND
10% FOR THE SETTLEMENT OF ALL LOCAL AND FOREIGN EXPENCES
INCURRED BY US AND YOU DURING THE COURSE OF THIS BUSINESS.

UPON THE SUCCESSFUL COMPLETION OF THIS TRANSFER, I AND ONE
OF MY COLLEAGUES WILL COME TO YOUR COUNTRY AND MIND OUR
SHARE. IT IS FROM OUR 60 % WE INTEND TO IMPORT AGRICULTURAL
MACHINERIES INTO MY COUNTRY AS A WAY OF RECYCLING THE FUND.

TO COMMENCE THIS TRANSACTION, WE REQUIRE YOU TO IMMEDIATELY
INDICATE YOUR INTEREST BY A RETURN E-MAIL AND ENCLOSE YOUR
PRIVATE CONTACT TELEPHONE NUMBER, FAX NUMBER FULL NAME AND
ADDRESS AND YOUR DESIGNATED BANK COORDINATES TO ENABLE US
FILE LETTER OF CLAIM TO THE APPROPRIATE DEPARTMENTS FOR
NECESSARY APPROVALS BEFORE THE TRANSFER CAN BE MADE.
NOTE ALSO, THIS TRANSACTION MUST BE KEPT STRICTLY
CONFIDENTIAL BECAUSE OF IT'S NATURE.

I LOOK FORWARD TO RECEIVING YOUR PROMPT RESPONSE.

REGARDS,

MR. MIKE CHUKWU .
ZENITH INTERNATIONAL BANK PLC.
[2] My first reply. I play the role of the naif Jed Clampett, from the TV series "The Beverly Hillbillies", which ran 1962-71. (viz. www.pcperspectives.com/hillbillies/hillbill.html)

The third paragraph is taken verbatim from the theme song.

JED CLAMPETT

Dear Mr. Chukwu,

I have received your ee-lectronic letter concerning a GREAT OPPROTUNITY LEFT FOR US, namely An abandoned sum of $15,000,000.00 (fifteen million united states dollars only) in an account that belongs to one of our foreign customers who died along with his entire family of a wife and two children in november 1997 in a plane crash.

I am very grateful that you would consider me for this business deal. You see, I have been very fortunate in my life, and I would like to repay the kindness that has been bestowed upon me.

I used to be a poor mountaineer, barely kept my family fed. Then one day, I was shooting for some food, when up from the ground came bubbling crude (oil, that is, Texas tea, black gold...). First thing you know, I was a millionaire, my kin folk said, "Jed, move away from there!". Said "Californy's the place you oughtta be!" So we loaded up the truck and we moved to Beverley. (Hills, that is, swimming pools, movie stars).

I have lots of millions in banker Drysdale's vaults, but I'm not sure what to do with them. Maybe the good lord has sent you to help me along.

It would be just dandy if you & your kin came on over, so we could give you a heapin' helpin' of our hospitality.

Y'all come back, hear?

Uncle Jed

[3] He falls for the bait. And he "Yahoos". Notice He "CCs" me on everything. More on that later.

MIKE CHUKWU


Received: from [216.139.169.19] 
Date: Mon, 27 Jan 2003 02:51:20 -0800 (PST)
From: mikechukwu10@yahoo.com
Subject: We will be together


Dear Uncle Jed,

I am so happy with your brief history, it shows that
with God all things are possible, that is what is
called divine intervention into once life. God has
divinely intervened and made you rich in that way.

This is yet another opportunity that we have to share
together. I will like to come over but i am a man that
works hard to earn my living, please, let us do this
transfer together, help me to get this fund
transferred and i will be with you . My intension has
been that once the transfer is completed, i will come
over to your country, and invest what will be my
share, i will also take advantage of your agricultural
advancement and buy some of farm implements that will
be sold in Africa.

I will like you to call me on the phone, my numbers
are 234 1 7763615, 234 8033304784, fax 234 1 7591442.
I can as well call you but you will have to send me
your numbers to do that.

More importantly, please, help me to get this fund
transfered in the same way God has helped you to
discover crude oil in Texas when you were hunting for
food.

I will be very glad to hear from you soon.

Please, send me all email to this address.

Regards to all members of your family.

Mike Chukwu.
[4] Being a naif allows me to get away with all sorts of nonsense.

JED CLAMPETT

Hi there Mr. Chukwu,

Are you related to the Chukwus of Possum's Pass, up near Bum Tickle, in Crockett county, Tennessee? Me and Billy Bob Chukwu were good buddies back in the hills. We used to go hunting with Blue, my houndog. We would hunt a mess of possums, and cook us some possum stew. Tasted mighty good. Specially when we wuz on the run from the Revenooers, on account of the whisky still.

Actually, it wasn't in Texas that I discovered the crude oil. It was in Tennessee. They just call it 'Texas Tea' 'cause that's where they found it first (the oil, not the tea).

So you're interested in Farm Implements? Well that's right up my alley. I have lots of experience with farm implements. I used to have a mule, Skinner we called him, and I used Skinner to pull the plow and the hay wagon. Skinner was a fine old mule, a mite stubborn, though. He got his name from the whippins we gave him to get going. Skinner was a lazy old mule, he was.

I seen where you want me to telephone you. I showed Jethro (my nephew) your phone numbers, and Jethro said that ain't no telephone number, cause telephone numbers only have seven digits, like three numbers, followed by what they call a hyphen, and then four more numbers.

Jethro is 23 years old, and he's already in the fourth grade. Jethro's the smart one in the family, and if Jethro says that phone numbers have seven digits, then I gots to trust him. Otherwise why am I paying tuition at the fancy private school, in Beverley Hills, where Jethro is taking advanced education?

Also, you'll have to explain what a 'fax' is, cuz I'm just a simple backwoods hillbilly, and I don't know nuthin' about them fancy city-slicker things. Is that a misspelling of 'tax'? Or is it a contraction of 'face wax'? Slang for 'facts'? In which case, what 'facts'?

I sure hope you can visit us here in Beverley Hills, so we can give you a heapin' helpin' of our hospitality.

Y'all come back, hear?

Uncle Jed

[5] Mike explains 'fax'

MIKE CHUKWU


Received: from [216.139.169.19]
Subject:  We will be together (at the river?)

Uncle Jed,

Jethro  did not know that the numbers are good, my numbers
are correct, you may have understod that only numbers in
America are the way you described. In Africa, numbers are
like the ones i sent you .Please, call and you will speak
with me directly.

These are the numbers, 234 (1) 7763615 OR 234 8033304784,
the last one is a mobile phone while the first is in my
office but can be received from anywhere that i am. It is
cross-forwarded to my mobile, my house and my car.The fax is
in my office too, it is correct, 234 (1) 7591442.

I may be related to the Chukuw that you know but i have not
met him, our family is quite large some left for America
long time but i have never met them . Anyway, do not tell
them about our transaction, if i have any reason to contact
them, i will do so.

The important thing now is that you should send me the bank
account informatrion so that the application for the
transfer will be made and submitted to the head office of
Zenith bank as soon as possible. And for the $15M to be
transferred as soon as possible.

Fax is a short form of the word facsimile, this is an office
machine that is used to transmit documents from one tel/fax
line to another, if you do not have it, then you will need
to go buy one, you will connect it to your hone and when
some one wants to send you a documents, he will dial your
number and your phone will ring and connect to the fax
machine and documents will come from the machine no matter
the distance.

We will need this connection to actualise this transfer.

Please, call me as soon as you have received this email, it
maybe difficult to call because of the distance but you will
connect to me when you and you will speak with me. I will
love to hear from you,please, say me well to Jethro the
smart Guy.

Regards,

Mike
[6] I get my new domain: JedClampett@BeverlyHillsBank.com (no kidding!). I also explain what CC: does. The technical web jargon is in absurd contrast to my naiveté.

JED CLAMPETT

Dear Mr. Chukwu,

URGENT: for all future communication, we must use this e-mail address. Do not use the older address, as it may be monitored by the CIA.

Banker Drysdale has set up this address for me. My nephew Jethro Bodine has set up a LAN and a Mail Server for the Bank of Beverly Hills. I suggested Windows and IIS, but Jethro insisted on FreeBSD and Apache 4.0.11, since it has better protection against Zombie DDOS and Unsecured Port Probing.

Well, I'm just a simple hillbilly, what do I know?

I tried to dial the phone number you gave me, but halfway through the number I got a Pizza shop down on Sunset Strip. Thinking it was a front, I ordered a large, all dressed, extra anchovies. When the delivery boy arrived, I mentioned "Mr. Chukwu" and fifteen million dollars. He kind of looked at me funny, like there was something fishy going on. Maybe it was the anchovies.

Anyway, I think that the kind of phone that I have can only dial seven digits. I'm going to have to get the kind of phone that dials more than seven digits, maybe ten or fourteen digits.

Back home we used to crank a lever to ring our neighbours. We wuz one short-one long-one short. Now Aunt Pearl, Jethro's mum by her second husband, they wuz one short-one long. She used to pick up the phone right after that long, and eavesdrop, and if she was caught, she'd giggle and make like she thought it was her.

The grocery store was on long-one long. Well, you get the idea. So you can imagine how a simple hillbilly couldn't figure out how in tarnation to get seven. let alone fourteen digits from a telephone.

By the way, in the previous messages, I noticed that you CC:ed me, as well as send the message to me in the "To:". Now I'm no Internet expert, but if the message gets to me through the "To:", then it will very probably also get to me through the "CC:". On the other hand, if it doesn't get to me through the "To:", then it likely won't make it through the "CC:" either.

Would you like me to read the message twice? Should I reply to each message individually? Should I reply to each message twice? If we keep at it, your two messages would result in four of my messages. You would in turn create eight messages, so on and so forth. Pretty soon these messages would multiply like bunnies in the August heat. We'd be up to our asses in messages.

Make sure you reply through the 'BeverlyHillsBank' address. When I mentioned FIFTEEN MILLION DOLLARS, Banker Drysdale started rubbing his hands, and little spittles of drool formed at the edge of his mouth. So he's eager to get going.

Y'all come back, hear?

Uncle Jed (at the Bank of Beverly Hills).

[7] He's anxious to phone. How do I get out of this?...


MIKE CHUKWU

Received: from [216.139.169.19] 
Date: Thu, 30 Jan 2003 01:24:57 -0800 (PST)

Uncle Jed,

I was only trying to make sure that the message is sent
okay, that was why i copied it on the "CC".

Please, set up the account that you want us to transfer this
money and like in told you earlier, you should not tell
anybody about this transaction until the fund is transferred
to your account. Send the name of the bank, the address, the
account name and number, the telephone and fax of the bank
and anyother relevant infiormation too.

I am still working in the bank here and i will need to use
my powers to ensure a fast and smooth transfer to your
account that you are yet to send to me.

Please, buy the phone becuase i am eager to speak with you.

Regards,

Mike.
[8] The FBBH info is factual (from their web site). I wish I could have seen the VP's face when he heard this strange request from far away...

JED CLAMPETT

Dear Mr. Chukwu,

Do not fear, I have not spoken of the details of this transaction with anyone. I have only given Banker Drysdale the vaguest information, he does not yet know the details.

Now you must telephone the First Bank of Beverly Hills for all the information. The bank's address is 23901 Calabasas Rd, Ste 1050 Calabasas, CA 91302, USA. Call 8182235421. Ask to speak to Mr. Craig Kolasinski, who is Executive Vice President. I have told him to expect your call.

When you talk to Mr. Kolasinski, tell him you have been speaking to Jed Clampett, and you have a deal for Mr. Drysdale.

NOTE: THE FOLLOWING IS VERY IMPORTANT!!

Mr. Kolasinski will at first feign ignorance. THIS IS A SECURITY PRECAUTION. It is a test to insure you are indeed Mike Chukwu. He will say something like "What are you talking about?" You will need to tell him the password. The password phrase is:

"I want the enema"

Only then will Mr. Kolasinski tell you the secret account number. I repeat: Mr Kolasinski will not divulge any information until you have clearly and loudly spoken the password phrase, which is "I want the enema". Practice speaking the phrase in clear english before you call Mr. Kolasinski. The telephone line might not be clear, and you want to be sure he hears you.

The bank's fax is 8182233226.

Note that Banker Drysdale is the secret leader of the Bank. He is unknown to the public, and only big customers like me, with millions of dollars in the bank, are permitted to know him. You will have to be persistent to get Mr. Kolasinski to acknowledge his existence.

Good luck and hurry! I am anxious to conclude this.

Jed Clampett

[9] He tries to weasel out of calling. And he still Yahoos!

MIKE CHUKWU


Received: from [216.139.169.19] 
Date: Fri, 31 Jan 2003 00:48:46 -0800 (PST)


Uncle Jed,

Please, note that i appreciate the help your are rendering
to make this transfer a success.But you must understand that
it is not good for me to call Your Bank, i am a banker and
as such  i am aware that it is unethical for me to reveal
information about my clients to anyone.

The best thing  you can do for me is that you should take
the details from your bank yourself and send it to me on the
email. This is the best thing to do. Calling your bank will
expose the nature of this transaction to your bank you know
that i do not want this to happen.

Please, do it for me in the name of God, you should also not
tell Mr. Craig Kolasinski the details of this transaction.
Simply tell him that someone will pay some money into your
account, do not tell whom or where and why or even the
amount, afterall he knows you are a Millionare.

The name and address of the bank you sent today has  been
used for the application, in otherwords, i have submitted
the application today  for the transfer of this fund to the
Head office of Zenith International Bank, the good news was
that the application has been accepted by the bank.

They will only require the account number and the account
name at the point of the transfer. So, the bank will need to
contact you now that you have been accepted as the
beneficiary of the $15M. Anytime that they send you email,
or any meesage, please, let me know so that i will tell you
what to do.

Please,send me your phone numbers and i will call you, the
bank may  also need to call too before this fund is
transfered.

I will be hoping to hear from soon.

Regards,

Mike Chukwu.
[10] Oh good. The fake application has been accepted by the fake bank.

MIKE CHUKWU

Received: from [80.88.128.14] 
Date: Fri, 31 Jan 2003 06:36:55 -0800 (PST)


Uncle Jed,

The application has been accepted by the bank this
afternoon.

Please, call me to share the good news, you will have to
send the account numbers and the name of the beneficiary of
the account .Anytime that the bank contacts you , please,
let me know first.

Remain blessed in the Lord.

Regards,

Mike
[11] I don't reply immediately. He's getting snippy

MIKE CHUKWU

Received: from [80.88.128.14] 
Date: Sat, 1 Feb 2003 00:12:59 -0800 (PST)


Uncle Jed,

I sent you two messages yesterday and ordinarily, you would
have responded to  share the joy of the acceptance of the
application by the bank which is a good step forward.

Please, let me know in the first instance if you got those
emails or not.

I will like to hear from you today.

Regards,

Mike
[12] And snippier...

MIKE CHUKWU



Received: from [80.88.128.14]
Date: Sun, 2 Feb 2003 23:50:05 -0800 (PST)


Uncle Jed,

Are you still there, please, let me hear from you now.

Mike
[13] Here's where he blows it: I get this message from "Jim Ovia" from the "zenith international" Bank (yeah, right), before I ever contact him. Ergo Chukwu told Ovia. Why does an employee of the Zenith Bank use "FREE Personalized E-mail at Mail.com"? Do you suppose it's a cost-saving measure at the Bank?

JIM OVIA, BANK GUY


From: "zenith international" 
To: jedclampett@BeverlyHillsBank.com
Date: Mon, 03 Feb 2003 03:13:42 -0500
Subject: The Estate of the late Engr Steve Moore
X-Originating-Ip: 80.88.128.14
X-Originating-Server: ws1-8.us4.outblaze.com

Attention:-Mr Jed Clampett,

Sir,

Re:-Transfer of the Estate of the late Engr Steve Moore
valued at $15M.

This is to inform you that your application for the transfer
of the above Estate has been received. We have in light of
the application embarked on certain internal documentation
within this bank to facilitate the transfer.

We have applied to the Federal Ministry of Finance for the
issuance of Foreign Excahnge Allocation Approval (FOREX)
covering this amount and a copy will be sent to you as soon
as it has been issued.

In the meantime, please, send us your  contact telelphone
and fax numbers for easier communication between you and
this bank.

To ensure the legality of this transfer, please, send to
this office as soon as possible the underslited documents:-

1) The Death Certificate of the late Engr Steve Moore.

2) The three Years Tax Clearance Certificate  preceeding his
death.

3) Copy of your identification which must be either your
international passport, driver's license or National
identification Card.

4) A Sworn  Affidavit/statement of Claims obtained in any
high court of competent jurisdiction in Nigeria.

Please, note that it will not be possible for this transfer
to be effected without any of these listed documents above.

Looking forward to hearing from you.

Thanks,

Jim Ovia.

M/D

Fax:-234 1 4400472

Tel:-234 1 4809335.
_______________________________________________
Sign-up for your own FREE Personalized E-mail at Mail.com
[14] Now I get a bit huffy.

JED CLAMPETT

Dear Mr. Chukwu,

I am a very busy man, with a hurtin' lot of business deals to tend to. It's like herding cats (or chickens).

The way I keep on top of things is to delegate responsibility to my business associates.

The only way this deal is going to fly is if you contact Mr. Craig Kolasinski, who is Executive Vice President. Remember the password phrase, "I want the enema", spoken firmly and clearly.

I cannot send you the bank account number over the Internet, Jethro says it ain't see-cure. Only Mr. Kolasinski is authorized to disclose it. I trust this man with all my business deals.

By the way, I just got an e-mail from a Mr. Jim Ovia, asking for :

1) The Death Certificate of the late Engr Steve Moore.
2) The three Years Tax Clearance Certificate preceeding his death.
3) Copy of your identification which must be either your international passport, driver's license or National identification Card.
4) A Sworn Affidavit/statement of Claims obtained in any high court of competent jurisdiction in Nigeria.

How in tarnation am I supposed to get hold of this stuff? I presume this is where you come in.

Y'all come back, hear?

Uncle Jed

[15] He wants to see the email from the accomplice whom he directed to email me...

MIKE CHUKWU



Date: Mon, 3 Feb 2003 23:57:51 -0800 (PST)

Uncle Jed,

Please, pardon me for my lack of understanding of your ways
of business, i was only interested in the success of this
transaction as it tantermounts to my own future, so you will
tell  Mr Craig that i will call him today unfailingly.

As for the information you sent, I am aware that Jim Ovia is
the Executive Director of Zenith International Bank, if he
has asked for those things then send me the full information
so that i will know what to do.

I will want to see the email please. And again, i will
appeal to you to send me your phone number it is important
that i speak with you too.

Regards,

Mike.
[16] The weasel wants to send a fax instead of calling...

MIKE CHUKWU


Received: from [80.88.128.14]
Date: Tue, 4 Feb 2003 02:05:11 -0800 (PST)


Uncle Jed,

If i send a fax to Mr Craig Kolasinski, will that be
acceptable since the time difference may not enable me to
call him on the phone.Please, advise.

Regards,

Mike Chukwu.
[17] More whining...

MIKE CHUKWU


Received: from [80.88.128.14] 
Date: Tue, 4 Feb 2003 23:41:15 -0800 (PST)
Subject: let me rely on you pls


Uncle Jed,

I have tried calling Craig yesterday but the phone was on
voicemail and i left a message.

Please, tell me if it is better to send him a fax since you
also gave me his fax number or can he call me, my phone is
on 24hours.He can call 234 1 7763615, or 234 8033304784.

Please, let me what to do now Uncle Jed, i want to have you
in confidence and trust that with your experience in life
this transaction will come through.

Let me rely on you Uncle Jed.

Regards,

Mike.
[18] He says he's "tried to call". Yeah, right.

MIKE CHUKWU



Received: from [80.88.128.14] 
Date: Wed, 5 Feb 2003 05:07:59 -0800 (PST)


Uncle Jed,

Please, advise me what to do now as i have tried to talk to
Craig without success.

Can i send him fax.?

Or can he call me?

Regards,

Mike.
[19] A lesson in time zones, and a little bit of Shakespeare. (This message included a nice photo of a furry little chinchilla)
Hi there Mr. Chukwu -

Sorry for being so late getting back to you. We've had a little bit of a crisis here at the homestead. Seems Elly Mae (she's my daughter) got to fancyin' she'd raise some chinchillas a while back. Elly Mae loves critters of all kinds. So she got herself some chinchillas. Boy them little critters sure breed a mite quick! 'Fore too long the whole mansion was overrun with chinchillas. We're chasing'em all over the place. Let me tell you it's not a pleasant surprise when you sit down to go to the toilet and one of'em pops up from the porcelain receptacle and bites you in the... well, you can imagine.
This is a chinchilla.



Then Elly Mae found out what it is they wants the chinchillas for...

Now she won't part with them. Them mangy buggers are running like crazy all over the place. There's one of the little fellers nibbling at my toes right this minute. I don't know what we're going to do, and Elly Mae says there's no way she's gonna let anybody skin them for fur coats. I wonder what chinchilla stew would taste like?...

>I have tried calling Craig yesterday but the phone was on voicemail and i left a message.

>Please, tell me if it is better to send him a fax since you also
>gave me his fax number or can he call me, my phone is on 24hours.
>He can call 234 1 7763615, or 234 8033304784.

Well, if your phone is on 24 hours, I'm sure you'll have no problem calling him at 7:00 PM Nigeria time, which is 10:00 AM Beverly Hills time. Mr. Kolasinski works 9-5, which is 6PM-2AM Nigeria time. Keep calling, Mr. Kolasinski will give you the bank account over the phone, only after verbal confirmation of the password, spoken clearly and firmly, "I want the enema".

It is better to call than to send a fax. The fax is not confidential, and can be seen by prying eyes. Remember, as we say here, the walls have ears, the windows have eyes, the grindstones have noses, the shredders have fingers, the desks have tongues. Know what I mean?

>As for the information you sent, I am aware that Jim Ovia is
>the Executive Director of Zenith International Bank, if he has
>asked for those things then send me the full information so
>that i will know >what to do.

Considering that the only way Mr. Ovia could have learnt of me was from you, why don't you just go back to where you know you can find him, and let the two of you sort this out. How about that, OK?

Good luck, and make haste! There is a tide in the affairs of men, Which, taken at the flood, leads on to fortune; Omitted, all the voyage of their life Is bound in shallows and in miseries.

Uncle Jed

[20] He buys the chinchilla bit.

MIKE CHUKWU


Received: from [80.88.128.14]
Date: Thu, 6 Feb 2003 00:31:42 -0800 (PST)
Subject: Re: Julius Ceasar

Uncle Jed,

Sorry about the animals that has infilterated your home,
please, take it easy and if they constitute nuisance, you
will have no option than to take care of them by total
relocation. That is to say that you build them a saparate
home where they can be fed well and taken care off.

I have told you that i will keep trying until i get to
Craig, but that will not be any problem now as the bank has
ways of sending the fund, they already have the name of your
bank. We should now be concerned about the document that
they have asked us to provide.

I can not go to Jim Ovia, the Executive director of the bank
for anything, you unbderstand the fact that i can not be
mentioned to the any of the bank officials as long as this
transaction lasts, maybe you have forgotten that this is
confidential, Jim Ovia is my superior in the office and he
will simple stop the transfer the moment he senses that i
know you.

You are acting as the next of kin to the late Engr Steve
Moore, this is the fact that must not be forgotten my dear
Uncle Jed. What we will have to do is that you should
foremostly send your identification to the bank, they must
have given you email address or fax number.

Then for the rest of the documents, we will apply to an
Attorney here, since the documents are right here in
Nigeria, we should apply to an Attorney resident here to
make it easier for procurement of the papers.

I have a Lawyer in mind, he is Barrister Graham Douglas Oni,
a very powerful and influencial Attroney, he will handle
this very efficiently to the benefit of the two of us. He is
a very intelligent Lawyer and can crack any hard nut. He can
be contacted on  email
addressgrahamdouglas.lawchambers@justice.com , his phone
numbers are 234 1 7752087 and 234 8023378893.

You should please, contact him and tell him that you want
him to represent you, that your next of kin died and left
you the sum of $15M in Zenith International Bank , and that
the bank wants you to provide certain documents before the
fund can be wired to your bank account. To make it easier
for him to start his work, you should send him, the email
the bank sent to you.

Whatever, he says, please, let me know.

You have not said anything about the phone numbers i
requested that you should send to me so that i will call to
at least speak to you.

Regards,

Mike.
[21] So he wants some identification, heh?
Hi there Mike (may I call you Mike?),

Mr. Jim Ovia, of the Zenith International Bank, is asking for the following information:

"1) The Death Certificate of the late Engr Steve Moore.
"2) The three Years Tax Clearance Certificate preceeding his death.
"3) Copy of your identification which must be either your international passport, driver's license or National identification Card.
"4) A Sworn Affidavit/statement of Claims obtained in any high court of competent jurisdiction in Nigeria."

I can provide #3 (Identification). How do you think we can get #1 (Death Certificate)?
What is #2 (Tax Clearance Certificate)?
And how in tarnation can I get #4 (Sworn Affidavit/statement of Claims)? Do I have to go to Nigeria?

>I have told you that i will keep trying until i get to Craig, but that will
>not be any problem now as the bank has ways of sending the fund, they already
>have the name of your bank. We should now be concerned about the document
>that they have asked us to provide.

>maybe you have forgotten that this is confidential

I understand - mum's the word.

What we will have to do is that you should foremostly send your identification to the bank

I don't have a passport 'cause I never did travel anywhere 'ceptin Beverly Hills. I don't have a driver's license on account I never learnt how to drive and Jethro does all the drivin'.

Will my library card from Possum's Pass, Tennessee, constitute proper identification?

>I have a Lawyer in mind, he is Barrister Graham Douglas Oni
>You should please, contact him and tell him that you want him
>to represent you, that your next of kin died and left you the
>sum of $15M in Zenith International Bank

How is Mr. Oni going to get the Death Certificate? If I contact Mr. Oni, then this won't be a secret anymore? I'm confused...

Uncle Jed

[22] My library card is good enough for ID.

MIKE CHUKWU



Received: from [80.88.128.14] 
Date: Tue, 11 Feb 2003 01:49:17 -0800 (PST)


Unlce Jed,

Many thanks for your email, please, call me right at
anytime, the numbers to call are 234 1 7763615, or 234
8033304784.I can aswell call you if you find it difficult to
call me, so your number will be appreciated.

If you do not driver, then let them have the library
Identification card, that will  do.

The Lawyer is a legal practioner and by his prefessional
calling, he is obliged to keep the secrete of all his
clients no mater the presure on him. This is more reason why
i have chosen Barrister Graham Oni.

Besides, he dose not know that you are not the next of kin,
and there is no way he will know that. I have called Mr
Craig Kolsinski for more than three times and a Lady
secretary toke all the calls and i left him a message in the
voice mail.

Simply tell him that your Cousin the late Steve Moore, died
and left you the sum of $15m and that you want him to
represent you in Zenith Bank, he will go there and represent
you because the documents already shows that you are the
next of kin.

The Lawyer will then secure and submit all the documents,
the only one you will have to send to the bank is your
identification from the Library.

I will send you the statement account of Steve Moore
shortly.

Regards,

Mike
[23] So I talk to the lawyer, to keep up the charade.

JED CLAMPETT

Dear Barrister Graham Douglas Oni,
I am the cousin of the late and lamented Engineer Steve Moore, who died with his entire family of a wife and two children in november 1997 in a plane crash.
I would like to claim his inheritance of US $15,000,000 (FIFTEEN MILLION U.S. DOLLARS). Do you think we could wrap this up by the week-end?
Yours Truly,
'Uncle' Jed Clampett
[24]

MIKE CHUKWU


Received: from [216.139.169.136]
Date: Wed, 12 Feb 2003 01:18:05 -0800 (PST)

Uncle Jed,

I am happy that you have contacted Barrister Oni. Yesterday,
the 11th and today the 12th february are public holidays for
certain Islamic celebrations.

Tomorrow, everybody including Barrister Oni will return to
work and i am sure that he will respond to you, once that is
done, please, let me know.

I thought you said you were going to call me, please, call
me or let me call you, it must be a private conversation you
know.

Regards,

Mike.
[25] Surprise! The Mr. Barrister Solicitor Oni replies. Note the absurd domain, "mail.Justice.com". This is in Los Angeles.

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI


Subject: THANKS FOR CONTACTING ME.
X-Sent-From: grahamdouglas.lawchambers@justice.com
Date: Wed, 12 Feb 2003 03:49:11 -0800 (PST)
X-Mailer: Web Mail 5.2.3-0_sol28


JED CLAMPETT,
THANKS FOR CONTACTING ME.
BUT BEFORE I SHOULD PROCEED I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THE
NAME OF THE BANK AND THE LOCATION ADDRESS TO ENABLE ME
GO FOR THE INVESTIGATION OF SUCH CLAIM.
IT IS IMPORTANT ALSO YOU SEND TO ME AS A MATTER OF
URGENCY THE VERY INFORMATION THAT YOU RECEIVED FROM THE
BANK IN QUESTION SO AS TO KNOW WHAT TO DO EXCERTLY.
SEND ALSO YOUR PHONE AND FAX NUMBERS TO ME.
WAITING,
THANKS.
GRAHAM.


FindLaw - Free Case Law, Jobs, Library, Community
http://www.FindLaw.com
Get your FREE @JUSTICE.COM email!
http://mail.Justice.com
[26] They keep up the charade. They're probably leaning across a table in an Lagos Internet cafe.

MIKE CHUKWU



Received: from [80.88.128.14]
Date: Thu, 13 Feb 2003 01:30:43 -0800 (PST)
Subject: Re: Barrister Graham Oni

Uncle Jed,

Please,let me know if the Lawyer has responded to your email
to him.

I am still waiting for you to call me or send me your phone
number, Uncle Jed, you must please, understand that there is
the need for us to talk to each other on the phbone at
least.

Regards,

MiKe.
[27] "STILL WAITING": how impertinent.

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI



Subject: STILL  WAITING
X-Sent-From: grahamdouglas.lawchambers@justice.com
Date: Thu, 13 Feb 2003 01:52:38 -0800 (PST)


JED CLAMPETT,

THANKS FOR CONTACTING ME.
BUT BEFORE I SHOULD PROCEED I WOULD LIKE TO KNOW THE
NAME OF THE BANK AND THE LOCATION ADDRESS TO ENABLE ME
GO FOR THE INVESTIGATION OF SUCH CLAIM.

IT IS IMPORTANT ALSO YOU SEND TO ME AS A MATTER OF
URGENCY THE VERY INFORMATION THAT YOU RECEIVED FROM THE
BANK IN QUESTION SO AS TO KNOW WHAT TO DO EXACTLY.
SEND ALSO YOUR PHONE AND FAX NUMBERS TO ME.

THANKS.

GRAHAM.

PLEASE SEND THE ABOVE INFORMATIONS. I AM WAITING, TO
ENABLE ME VERIFY THE TRUE POSITION OF YOUR CLAIM WITH
THE BANK AND GET BACK TO YOU WITH MY FINDINGS.

GRAHAM.
[28] I'm still pushing for a week-end wrap-up.

JED CLAMPETT

Hi there

This is what the Zenith Bank has requested:

1) The Death Certificate of the late Engr Steve Moore.
2) The three Years Tax Clearance Certificate preceeding his death.
3) Copy of your identification which must be either your international passport, driver's license or National identification Card.
4) A Sworn Affidavit/statement of Claims obtained in any high court of competent jurisdiction in Nigeria.

My contact is:

Jim Ovia.
M/D
Fax:-234 1 4400472
Tel:-234 1 4809335.

The week-end is fast approaching. Any chance we can have this resolved before Saturday?

Yours Truly,

'Uncle' Jed Clampett

[29] I keep up the charade by informing Mike, who is not supposed to know what's happening

JED CLAMPETT

Hi there Mike -

I have written to Barrister Graham Oni, passing on the information from the Zenith International bank. Should I tell Mr. Oni that this is a hoax, or should I keep it our little secret?

Uncle Jed

[30] "keep the secret", indeed. And he still Yahoos!

MIKE CHUKWU


Received: from [217.78.73.132] 
Date: Fri, 14 Feb 2003 00:36:53 -0800 (PST)

Uncle Jed,

Please, keep the secret, the Lawyer need not know that and
he will not know.

I will send you the last statement of account of Mr Moore
and another account confirmation from Zenith bank, it took
them from his file.

That will be for your information only.

Regards,

Mike.
[31] He sends me an official-looking "account card"

MIKE CHUKWU


Received: from [217.117.9.223] 
Date: Fri, 14 Feb 2003 02:24:01 -0800 (PST)

Uncle Jed,

View the Account opening card of Late Steve  Moore. I am
still trying to send the Statement of account to you.

Mike.



[Scam-o-note: Even the Lads can do better than that. The head shot of "Steve Moore" has been edited out by the Scam-o-staff because the Lads pasted in some guy's picture from who knows where, and he might not like being Steve Moore on Scamorama.]

[32] I finally figure out how to avoid phoning.

JED CLAMPETT

Hi Mike,

By the way, did I mention that I am deaf? Can't hear a thing. A few years ago, back in the Ozark mountains, me and Bubbah wuz runnin' a moonshine still, when the contraption up & exploded sky-high. I was standin' a mite close, so I gots hit up the side of the head with the condenser pipe, and I ain't heard nuthin' ever since.

I had to learn sign language to get by. At least, I don't have to listen to Granny's hollerin' 'n rantin' no more.

So we'll have to continue communicatin' with the e-mail.

I have received the Zenith Int'l Bank card of Steve Moore that you sent me. Poor feller. I hope he didn't suffer and went quick (in the plane crash, I mean).

Uncle Jed.

[33] He buys it.

MIKE CHUKWU



Received: from [217.78.73.132] 
Date: Sat, 15 Feb 2003 01:55:37 -0800 (PST)


Uncle Jed,

You never did, i am sorry i was not told that you are
deaf.It is okay, we will contact by email.

Please, tell me if the Lawyer has proceeded.

Regards,

Mike.
[34] The crooked bank clerk gets uppity.

JIM OVIA, BANK GUY


From: "zenith international"

Date: Sat, 15 Feb 2003 06:50:45 -0500
Subject: The Estate of the late Engr Steve Moore
X-Originating-Ip: 217.78.73.132
X-Originating-Server: ws1-6.us4.outblaze.com

Attention:-Mr Jed Clampett,

Sir,

Re:-Estate of the late Engr Steve Moore.

Please, be reminded that we are still expecting you to send
to this office the documents that were listed in our first
email to you since a week agao.

The transfer will be inconclusive without the submision of
the listed documents, please, ensure compliance.

Thanks,

Yours Truly,

Jim Ovia.

Managing Director

Zenith Bank International Plc.
[35] Mr. Oni is very busy. And he uses the same free email as Jim Ovia. Curious...

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI


Date: Mon, 17 Feb 2003 04:20:05 -0500
Subject: MOST EFFECTIVE EMAIL
X-Originating-Ip: 217.78.73.132
X-Originating-Server: ws1-8.us4.outblaze.com

ATTENTION:-MR JED CLAMPETT,

SIR,

I WILL SEND YOU THE RESULT OF MY INVESTIGATION AND THE COST
OF PROCUREMENT OF THOSE DOCUMENTS IN A SHORT WHILE.

I HAVE VERY TIGHT BUSINES SCHEDULES FOR THIS WEEK RESULTING
FROM NUMERIOUS COURT PROCEEDINGS FROM TODAY. THIS EMAIL
ADDRESS IS MOST EFFECT ON MY LAPTOP AND CAN BE ACCESSED FROM
ANY PART OF THIS COUNTRY.

PLEASE, FOR MOST EFFECTIVE COMMUNICATION BETWEEN ME AND YOU
SEND ALL YOUR EMAILS TO THIS ADDRESS WITH EFFECT FROM TODAY.
NOTE THAT MY PHONE NUMBERS AND FAX REMAIN THE SAME AS
BEFORE.

THANKS,

GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI.
[36] Yes, yes, we are always running out of time.

MIKE CHUKWU

Received: from [217.78.73.132] Date: Mon, 17 Feb 2003 01:35:40 -0800 (PST) Uncle Jed, Please, let me know if you have heard from the Lawyer now, we are running short of time you know. Regards, Mike.
[37] Surprise! I'm in.

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI


Received: from [217.78.73.132]
Subject: Result of investigations.
X-Sent-From: grahamdouglas.lawchambers@justice.com
Date: Mon, 17 Feb 2003 04:06:03 -0800 (PST)

Attention:-Mr Jed Clampett,

Following your email of last weekend, i write to
furnish you with the result of our findings.

We are obliged to inform  you that the verification of
the authenticity of your claim to the inheritance of
the Late Engr STEVE MOORE has been concluded.

We are pleased to inform you that the position of your
claim is genuiue and satisfactory. and we hereby accept
in full to serve you in our capacity as experinced
lawyers and with the full weight of the law and its
application untill your fund is released directly to
you by Zenith Bank Plc.

We visited the head office at Ajose Adeogun
Street,Victoria Island Lagos. And had audience with the
Adiministrative Director and Mr Jim Ovia, the Managing
Director as well as Mrs Ayodele Funke, the Bank Hall
Manager, and they confirmed to us that the late STEVE
MOORE has a balance of US$15m left
in his account before his death.

Please, forward your Driver's License or photo copy of
your international passport, or any other means by
which you can be well identified by fax or email to the
Bank as a form of your identification.

We also visited all the agencies and  Federal
Ministries that will be issuing the mentioned Documents
as stated below.

(1)Death Certificate:-In population Commission Office
Death Certificate will be issued at the cost of US$500.

(2) Affidavit of Claim:-This will be issued in the High
Court of Justice at an abrbitrarily fixed cost of $50.

(3)Tax Clearance Certificate:-We visited the Tax office
and it was confirmed to us that STEVE MOORE evaded tax
for one year before his death.The tax for one year is
US$35,000 while the stamp Duty on the certificate is
US$5,000.

On the whole we require the sum of US$40,550.00 for the
three documents. Our professional fee is US$75,000.00.
You will pay this amount within one week after
receiving your fund in your account but the
administrative expenses of US$40,550.00 must be paid in
advance to enable us procure these listed documents.

If our conditions above is acceptable to
you,please,then notify us by writting and we will
promptly send you a copy of our "SPECIAL POWER OF
ATTORNEY" which you will complete and return to us as a
,mark of your authorisation of this contract.

We are looking forward to hearing from you. And you
will be advised on the mode of payment as soon as you
have indicated your preparedness.

Thanks,
Yours Faithfully.

GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI.
Head of Chamber.
Tel:- 234-1-7752087.

NOTE: The "POWER OF ATTORNEY" will be scanned and send
to you as an attachment as soon as possible.Please,
send all your emails to
grahamdouglaslawchambers@consultant.com
[38] I inform Mike, as if he didn't know.

JED CLAMPETT

Hi Mike -

>Please, let me know if you have heard from the Lawyer now, >we are running short of time you know.

Sure 'nuff, ole GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI has replied, and lo and behold! in his words:

"We are pleased to inform you that the position of your claim is genuiue and satisfactory. and we hereby accept in full to serve you"

Weee-doggie! I'm in! They've approved my claim!

Just a few formalities, and by golly we'll be sippin' mint juleps by the cement pond in no time! I'll just have to crank up the old hearin' aid, hope you won't mind.

I'll get back to you as soon as I hear more.

By the way, why are we "running short of time"? What will happen?

Uncle Jed

[39] Oh yes, things will happen very quick.

MIKE CHUKWU


Received: from [217.78.73.132] 
Date: Tue, 18 Feb 2003 00:43:55 -0800 (PST)

Dear Uncle Jed,

Please, tell me if the Lawyer will sort out the issue of the
documents for us and when that will be done. Have  you sent
your identification to the bank yet?

Please, let know, because i am sure that once we have all
these in place this transfer will be actioned quick.

I am waiting.

Regards,

Mike.
[40] I send him Buddy Ebsen's library card as ID (scuffed up with Photoshop)

JED CLAMPETT

Dear Mr. Oni,

I'm afraid that I'm just a simple Ozark hillbilly, I never got my driver's license, and I ain't never been anywhere that I'd need a passport. However, I do have a library card (which I am attaching) for identification.

So ole Steve "evaded taxes before his death", did he? Do you suppose the plane crash might have interfered with filing his Income Tax return?

Anyway, I suggest you pay the $35,000 back taxes out if his $15M account at the Zenith Bank Plc. Once this matter is settled, I will provide you with the means of transferring the balance owing, from my account at the Beverly Hills Bank, to your account.

Y'all come back, hear?

Uncle Jed





[41]

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI

 
Date: Wed, 19 Feb 2003 03:24:29 -0500
Subject: POWER OF ATTORNEY
X-Originating-Ip: 217.117.9.92
X-Originating-Server: ws1-5.us4.outblaze.com

JED CLAMPETT,

VIEW THE POWER OF ATTORNEY, SIGN AND SEND BACK TO ME.

GRAHAM.


[42] He doesn't go for my suggestion. He gets huffy. At least he's not SHOUTING!

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI


From: "graham D. Oni"
<grahamdouglaslawchambers@consultant.com>
Date: Wed, 19 Feb 2003 04:02:42 -0500
Subject: Send to this email
X-Originating-Ip: 216.139.169.148
X-Originating-Server: ws1-4.us4.outblaze.com

Mr Jed Clampett,

Sir,

I have sent you an email yesterday but i have not seen any
reply from you now probably because my email box is full, so
send all you emails to this new address henceforth.

You should understand that you applied to Zenith
Interntional bank for the transfer of the sum of $15M
beloning to one Engr Steve Moore, you had told the bank in
your application that you are the next of  kin to the
deceased.

The bank therefore asked that you authenticate this claims
by submitting some more personal information about the
deceased to be sure that you are the legitimate next of kin.

The bank therefore agured that they will not allow you
access to the fund until you have provided these additional
proofs.

The addtional proofs are the documents you have been asked
to submitted . Incidentally, these documents are issued by
agencies of the Government and not the bank. So we must pay
the stipulated fees before these documents will be issued to
you, Mr Clampett.

I have been magnanimous enough not to have asked for the
payment of my professional fees up front, you should
therefore send forward this fund to enable us secure the
papers and submit same to the bank.

I have sent you already my Power of Attorney. Please, study
, sign and return to me as soon as possible. Then arrange
the fund and let me know when you will send that too.

Thanks,

Graham Oni.
[43] I don't believe this government bullshit.

JED CLAMPETT

Hi there Mr. Barrister Graham Oni,

If there is $15M sitting in a bank account, and there are taxes owing on the money, the Government should garnishee the account and withold the $35,000 back taxes. The Government doesn't need my permission or authorization to do this.

That would reduce the total inheritance to $14,965,000, which is still acceptable to me.

Did you receive the attachment with my identification?

I will sign & return the Power of Attorney soon.

Sincerely,

"Uncle" Jed Clampett.

[44] I'm still keeping up the charade that Mike doesn't know what Graham is doing (as if...)

JED CLAMPETT

Hi there Mr. Mike -

I have your new e-mail address.

I am including you as a 'blind' CC: on my correspondence to Barrister G. Oni. This means you see everything I'm sending him, but he doesn't know that you're getting a copy.

He says there's $35,000 owing in back taxes. My banker Mr. Drysdale says this should come out of Eng. S. Moore's account, that I should not have to pay this.

We shall see what we shall see.

Uncle Jed.

[45] "i will not allow anybody to cheat us" - oh really? Mike anties up a phony $10,000 so gee, this has gotta be on the level, isn't it?

MIKE CHUKWU



Received: from [216.139.169.148]
Date: Thu, 20 Feb 2003 03:44:42 -0500

Uncle Jed,

You should please, not drag this matter too far, you
understand that we both are trying to get this money. I work
in the same bank  where this fund is to be transferred you
know and i will not allow anybody to cheat us when i am
right here.I must always see to it that your interest is
protected at all cost. This is why we are partners you know.

The fact about this matter was not only tax, there is the
issue of death certificate as well and also the affidavit.
From what the Lawywer said we need to spend about $40,550 to
get the three documents submitted to the bank. The 100%
assurance i am given you is that once we have been able to
get these papers submitted the fund will arrive your account
in America within three days.

The Government of your Country is the best in world today
and you want to equate the kind of good governance that you
people enjoy over there with what is seen in third world
countries like ours. This is a third world country where all
processes are still very far from what is obtained in your
country.We are still 1000 years behind you over there.

For instance, in this country, if i commit an offence, the
police can arrest my father or my son if they can not lay
there hands on me, can something like that happen in your
country?

Moreover, you know that this is a deal known to only me and
you, if we begin to argue too much the Lawyer and even the
bank will have reasons to doubt that you may not  the real
next of kin.  And again, you need not tell any Mr Drysdale
anything about this transaction. It is confidential please.
Just simply arrange and have this fund paid to the Lawyer
and we will have this fund released to us immediately.

I have the sum of $10,000 which i can add to what you have
so that we pay as soon as possible. Please, tell the Lawyer
that friend of yours will send him $10k and that you will
send the rest from America, ask him to advise you how the
remaining $30,550  will be transferred to him.

Please, Uncle Jed, try to understand that in this kind of
transaction, we have to obey the rules and not argue so that
the transfer will be very smooth.I will hope to hear from
you soon.

This  issue will be concluded in the next few days if we are
able to act according  instructions.

Regards,

Mike.
[46] Oni is pissed off, and he's back to SHOUTING.

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI



Date: Thu, 20 Feb 2003 05:51:00 -0500
Subject: Re: Witholding taxes
X-Originating-Ip: 216.139.169.148
X-Originating-Server: ws1-4.us4.outblaze.com

MR CLAMPETT,

SIR,

YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND ONE THING AND THAT IS THE FACT THAT
THE GOVERNMENT DID NOT ASK YOU TO PAY THE TAX NOW, THE LAW
IS THAT IF YOU WANT THE TAX CLEARANCE ISSUED, THEN PAY THE
TAX. YOU NEED THE TAX CLEARANCE, THEN YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY
THE TAX AND YOU WILL BE THE CLEARANCE AND THIS FUND WILL BE
ISSUED.

THIS FUND IS NOT BEING HELD BY THE GOVERNMENT.

YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY THE TAX AND IT ACCOMPANYING DUTY BEFORE
THE CERTIFICATE CAN BE ISSUED TO YOU.

THIS IS THE LAW HERE AND IT IS DIFFERENT FROM THE LAW IN
YOUR LAND. THIS IS WHAT YOU HAVE NOT UNDERSTOOD.

IF YOU WANT ME TO WORK FOR YOU PLEASE, DO WHAT I SAY, I DO
NOT HAVE TOO MUCH TIME YOU KNOW.

LET ME HEAR FROM YOU.

THANKS,

GRAHAM D. ONI
[47] We lay the trap...

JED CLAMPETT

Mr. Barrister Graham Douglas Oni,

I will be sending you soon an instrument to transfer funds from my account to your account. I propose that we transfer the $550 for now (being $500 for Death Certificate and $50 for Affidavit of Claim). I still have some thinking to do about the Tax Clearance Certificate and the stamp Duty. I have to find out if this is a tax-deductible expense, and if not, how to record it in the Bank of Beverly Hills' accounting system so I get maximum benefit from this considerable expense. Tax laws in the United States are rather complicated, know what I mean?

As far as not having enough time, you mean to tell me that for a fee of US$75,000.00, you don't have a few extra hours to devote to this? Wheeee doggie! your hourly rates must be astronomical!

Y'all come back, hear?

Uncle Jed

[48] "i would rather not waste too much time chasing what is against the Law of the Land"
More ironic words were never spoken.

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI


Date: Fri, 21 Feb 2003 03:30:03 -0500
Subject: Re: Witholding taxes
X-Originating-Ip: 216.139.169.148
X-Originating-Server: ws1-4.us4.outblaze.com

Mr Clampett,

Sir,

All you need to do is send the sum  by Western Union Money
transfer system to Graham Douglas Oni, 5 Ayodele Street ,
Lagos. And send me the Control number. Transfers by western
Union requires text question and answers, you should choose
as you deem fit and send to me as well.

As for not having time to operate, i mean that i would
rather not waste too much time chasing what is against the
Law of the Land. I have explained to you like i should  do
that the Tax must be cleared for the Certificate to be
issued.

So, you will need to work out ways to send the money if you
have actually chosen me as your Legal representative in this
issue. I am prepared to pursue this case to a conclusive end
with all my lagal might because it is a genuine case. The
bank has scheduled to have your fund released this weekend
but we have not yet submitted the documents to them, hence
the delay.

But you should take my advise at all times. I am the Law in
this Society and i can not flunt what i have helped to
build. If ever you  want us to obtain the tax certificate
from the Inland Revenue then send the  $40,000 as well..

Thanks,

Graham Oni.
[49] "The Government cannot garnishee accounts from banks it does not deal with": what a ridiculous notion.

MIKE CHUKWU


X-From_: mike.chukwu@africamail.com Fri Feb 21 05:59:15 2003
Date: Fri, 21 Feb 2003 04:58:43 -0500
Subject: bail me out now.
X-Originating-Ip: 216.139.169.148
X-Originating-Server: ws1-1.us4.outblaze.com

Uncle Jed,

Please, Uncle Jed, i will like you to understand one fact. I
am in this transaction with you and i will never be here to
see you make mistakes. If must have this fund, please, pay
the Lawyer. I told you that i have $10,000.00 that i will
add to what you have to make this work out fast.

The Government can not deduct from the bank because it is
not all banks that handle Government accounts. There are
some designated banks only that handle revenues of the
Government and this bank is not one of them.

Please, try and send this money . We will have this fund
transfered only in three days if you have sent the Lawyer
this money i trust that he will quickly work out ways to
submitted the documents to the bank and this fund will be
wired to your account.

Please, do it today, tell the Lawyer that some one will
bring the sum of $10,000 to his office, let him start with
that while you arrange to transfer the rest.

Please, Unlce Jed, bail me out of this  now.

Regards,
[50] He's panicking.

MIKE CHUKWU


Date: Fri, 21 Feb 2003 06:22:07 -0500
X-Originating-Ip: 216.139.169.148
X-Originating-Server: ws1-5.us4.outblaze.com

Unlce Jed,

Pleases, try to understand the difference between the level
of civilization in your society and that that is obtained
here.

Let me guide this transaction so that we will have this fund
as soon as possible.,okay.

Regards,

Mike.
[50] Here comes the Power of Attorney.

JED CLAMPETT

Dear Barrister Graham Douglas Oni -

I am sending you (attached) the duly completed Power of Attorney. Please confirm that you have received it before we proceed with the next step of the transaction.

Uncle Jed Clampett

[51] I accept Mike's make-believe $10,000

JED CLAMPETT

Hi there Mike -

OK, I think that if you're prepared to ante up $10,000, it shows that you're committed, and that the transaction must be on the level (ie. genuine).

So that means I have to provide $30,000 (being the full $40,000 less your $10,000).

I will tell G.D. Oni that I have a local contact that already has $10,000. Of course I won't tell him who it is (nudge nudge). And I promise to reimburse you when the transaction is completed.

Uncle Jed

[52] Mike wants my real $30,550

MIKE CHUKWU


Date: Sat, 22 Feb 2003 04:36:11 -0500
Subject: Re: Witholding taxes
X-Originating-Ip: 217.78.73.132
X-Originating-Server: ws1-8.us4.outblaze.com

Uncle Jed,

Please,let me know once the Lawyer has been infomed, i will
like to send the $10,000 to him latest on moday next week. I
will send someone to pay him the money .Then i will send you
the recipt that he will issue to to us after payment.

Tell the lawyer to send you an account into which you will
transfer the $30,550 to him. It will be good if you can pay
him today or latest on monday so that by next week, this
transaction must have been near conclusion.You do not need
to tell your bank reasons why you are paying the Lawyer,
just tell them to transfer the money and they will do it.

We must protect this transaction until we have the fund
transfered into your account.

Remain blessed in the Lord

Mike.
[53] Oh goody! They'll take my library card as ID for $15,000,000.

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI


Date: Sat, 22 Feb 2003 05:33:31 -0500
Subject: Re: Power of Attorney
X-Originating-Ip: 217.78.73.132
X-Originating-Server: ws1-9.us4.outblaze.com

MR JED CLAMPETT,

SIR,

THIS IS TO COMFIRM TO YOU THAT THE "POWER OF ATTORNEY" HAS
BEEN RECEIVED AND ACCEPTED BY ME.

PLEASE, TRY TO SEND THE REQUIRED MONIES FOR THE PAYMENTS SO
THAT THE OTHER DOCUMENTS NEEDED BY THE BANK WILL BE PROCURED
AND SUBMITTED.

YOUR IDENTIFICATION HAS BEEN SUBMITTED ALREADY AND IT WAS
ACCEPTED BY THE BANK. THEY ARE NOW EXPECTING THE OTHER
DOCUMENTS. AND THAT IS WHY THE FUND HAS NOT BEEN TRANSFERRED
YET.

TRANSFER WILL BE EFFECTED IMMEDIATELY WE HAVE SUBMITTED THE
OTHER DOCUMENTS TO THEM.

THANKS,

GRAHAM ONI
[54] $10,000 of "precise" make-believe money.

MIKE CHUKWU



Date: Sun, 23 Feb 2003 07:36:32 -0500
Subject: Re: Witholding taxes
X-Originating-Ip: 217.117.9.223

Uncle Jed,

Please, let me know by a return email if you have told the
Lawyer already that some one will be in his office tomorrow
to pay him part of the money. The amount will be $10,000 to
be precise.

I have arranged to have the cash sent to him tomorrow
morning. I  will not do that until you have told the Lawyer
that someone will come at 10am.Please, let me know now. Have
a nice sunday with Jethro and others in your family.

Regards

Mike.
[55] For God's sake do let's not look suspecious.

MIKE CHUKWU



Date: Mon, 24 Feb 2003 04:12:13 -0500
Subject: have you  told the lawyer now.
X-Originating-Ip: 66.178.46.122

Uncle Jed,

This is the third email i have sent you in three days and
you have not replied to any of them.

I will appeal to you to take this transaction more serious,
so that we have this fund transfered as soon as possible.

Hva e you notified the Lawyer that someone will come to pay
him $10,000 today, if i am informed that you have done this
i will not jump to his office to have him paid, it will look
suspecious, okay.

Please, get in touch with me now.

Regards,

Mike.
[56] Thus begins what is arguably the greatest Scam-o-rama gag of all times.

JED CLAMPETT

Greetings Barrister -

Excellent! I will send you this afternoon or tomorrow at the latest, a financial instrument that will enable prompt transfer of the required funds.

I will provide instructions on how to transfer the money, and you can have the money real soon in your account.

Uncle Jed Clampett

[57] Keep Mickie abreast

JED CLAMPETT

Hi Mike -

Remember that Saturday and Sunday are the week-end, and I don't check my e-mail on the week-end.

Can you confirm that you are receiving 'blind' copies of the messages I am sending to G.D. Oni? He cannot see the Blind Copy, so you are safe.

Uncle Jed.

[58] I send him a real executable program, which secretly captures his IP address and emails it to me.
When the program is running, it displays its name in the title bar:
"Money Upload by Global Universal Network"
(guess what the initials spell?)

JED CLAMPETT

Greetings Barrister -

Attached is a special computer program given to me by the Bank of Beverly Hills for electronic transfer of funds overseas. They do not know exactly who it is for, but since it is my money I am free to do with it as I please.

You must use a computer that is running Windows, ver. 98, NT, 2000 or XP. Windows 95 will not work.

You must enter three items of information:

The account number where the money is to be transferred.
This is your account number where you want the money to go.
The account number will include the bank transit number, which determines which bank it goes to.
The amount of money to be transferred (dollars and cents). I request that you transfer $30,000 at this time. My representative in Nigeria will advance the other $10,000.
The password. This is a secret password which you must enter otherwise the Money Upload instrument will not work. The password is "enema" (without the quotes).

When you have entered the account number, the amount and the password, press 'OK', and the program will connect to my bank, transfer the money, and display a status message.

Let me know when you have done this successfully. If you encounter any problems, there is a different version I can send you.

Good luck,

Uncle Jed



[59] Blah blah blah... I'm too lazy, I'm too stupid.

MIKE CHUKWU


Date: Tue, 25 Feb 2003 02:56:59 -0500
Subject: Re: Money Transfer
X-Originating-Ip: 216.139.169.19

Uncle Jed,

This must be a sufiscated way  of  transfer that must only
work with ease in develope countries like America and
Europe. In Africa and east Europe and greater part of Asia,
funds can not be transfered like that.

What is done in these part of the Wolrd is that you will be
sent the account information into which the fund is
required. You will then send same to your bank. After the
transfer, your bank will issue you the evidence or rather
the confirmation of the transfer. With that confirmation,
the receiving  bank will then pay the beneficiary the sum
transfered.

Let us hope that the Lawyer will have  a way out but  i
doubt.

Please, make it easy for him. I  have  sent someone today to
his office to pay him $10,000.

Confirm to me once he has informed you.

Regards,

Mike.
[60] Whine, whine.

MIKE CHUKWU


Date: Tue, 25 Feb 2003 03:13:10 -0500
Subject: please, bear with me
X-Originating-Ip: 216.139.169.19

Uncle Jed,

I am sorry, i do not understand that you do not check your
computers on the weekends.

It is because i am anxious to have this $15M transferred so
that we will have it shared and i will be a millionare like
you my dear friend.

Please, bear with me okay.

Regards,

Mike.
[61] Aha! He finally bites. His bank is in Hong Kong. However he screwed up: my program notifies me that he tried to transfer $0 (zero) dollars.

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI


Date: Tue, 25 Feb 2003 03:49:56 -0500
Subject: I have tired but no luck
X-Originating-Ip: 216.139.169.19
X-Originating-Server: ws1-6.us4.outblaze.com

Attention:-Mr Clampett,

Sir,

I have attempted to effect the transfer but my computer
seemed not the type that can do this. You should also
understand that such a thing  is not what i will go outseide
my office to do because it invloves some elses money. I will
rather you do it for me Mr Clampett.

HANG SENG BANK,

NO:- 18 CARNARVON ROAD

TSIMSHA TSUI BRANCH

HONG KONG.

A/C  295-9-709714

BEN KAWA WATCH MANUFACTURING LTD.

This is the account information of my bureau-de-change, he
is very reliable.

Send me the transfer report to enable me request payment
from the bureau-de-change.

Thanks,

Yours faithfully,

Graham  D. Oni
[62] His imaginary little friend pays the imaginary $10,000.

MIKE CHUKWU


Date: Tue, 25 Feb 2003 06:30:16 -0500
Subject: $10,000 paid today.
X-Originating-Ip: 216.139.169.19

Uncle Jed,

I have sent someone to the Barrister Graham Oni today and he
has returned to inform me that the $10,000 was paid but that
Barrister Oni was too busy and can not issue him receipt
until tomorrow morning.

So i will send you that once received from the Lawyer.

Please, let me know as soon as the rest of the fund is
transferred.

Regards,

Mike.
[63] Now it's my turn to get tough.

JED CLAMPETT

Dear Mr. Barrister Graham Douglas Oni -

Let's see... according to your message of Feb 18, "Our professional fee is US$75,000.00" (in your words).

In America, when I pay a fellow $75,000 and I tell him to jump, he asks "How high?". Get it?

I didn't get to be a millionaire by doing other people's clerical work.

You will do the transfer as I request or you will not do it at all. To prove that I am serious about this, you will be remitted a partial payment of $10,000 from my agent in Nigeria.

Attached is a different version of the program. I need you to tell me exactly what error messages appear. If you don't tell me exactly what you see, I will know that you have not run the program.

Trust me, the transfer will work. I have confirmed with my bank (the Bank of Beverly Hills) that the HANG SENG BANK of Hong Kong is linked to our network. The reason we have to do it this way is that my bank has spent considerable time and money automating their procedures, precisely to avoid the cost of manual operations such as you are suggesting. My bank will not make exceptions for any reason.

Do this as my barrister to whom I will be paying a considerable sum of money.

Thanking you in advance,

Uncle Jed Clampett

[63] I think he entered non-numeric data in the amount or account number fields. I hadn't allowed for this. The C atoi() function fails.

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI


Date: Tue, 25 Feb 2003 13:00:16 -0500
Subject: The  problems ran thus
X-Originating-Ip: 216.139.169.19
X-Originating-Server: ws1-7.us4.outblaze.com

Mr Clampett,

You got me wrong, i am very proud to be associated with you
in the first place, the problem that i have was that the
system opened up and there were three requests as follows:-

The account number.

The amount to be transferred

The password.

I entered accordingly but the system rejected the account
number that we entered.

And there was no provision for the name and address of the
bank too. Please, see reasons with me. You are equating what
is obtainable in your high brow area to this undeveloped
part of the world.  Maybe this will be better when you ask
one of your staff to do it for me and we will proceed with
the documentations. Give it a second thought and see how you
can be of help.

I want to work for you and i want to do it right and earn
the money, you can see from the beginning that i have been
deligent with this issue.

I will appeal to you to authorise one of your workers to do
it for me from the more advanced computer that you may have.

The fellow that called me in the morning was in my office
shortly before i went to court and deposited the sum of
$10,000. on your behalf. I send you the  receipt of payment
tomorrow morning.

Thanks,

Graham Oni.
[64] These bozos can operate an Internet scam, but they can't enter three simple numbers in a dialog box?

MIKE CHUKWU


Date: Tue, 25 Feb 2003 13:46:44 -0500
Subject: I beg of you, Uncle Jed.
X-Originating-Ip: 216.139.169.19
X-Originating-Server: ws1-3.us4.outblaze.com

Uncle Jed,

I just got home and decided to visit my computer only to
find the exchange of emails between you and the Lawyer. Dear
Uncle, this matter is the concern of you and I.

The Lawyer though will be paid but the two of us are the
real reasons for this transaction. I have told you that if
not for the documents the need for the Lawyer will not
arise.If you get angry with the Lawyer then you do not
simply want us to go ahead.

The reason why he may find it difficult was that the system
is not known in this part of the world. Please, ask one of
your workers to do it for him. Tell the Lawyer to send you
the bank information and one of your workers will imput it
into the system. I have even tried to do it from the office
but i could not. I have tried once again just thie minute
but no way.

But i am sure that for him to get paid here by his agent,
there must be some kind of evidence that this transaction
was his . The exchange operators here receive fund for so
many others. So, when you have a transaction, you must come
forward with your evidnce then you will be paid.

I am the report that will follow the correct imput of the
account will serve the purpose. It will be printed out and
sent to the Lawyer and will be enough evidence that the fund
was transferred to him.

Uncle Jed, you are doing this for the two of us ,please,
bear this in mind. Help me by asking someone arround to do
it for the Lawyer, tell him to send you the bank account
information if that i not sent already.

Let me hear from you soon.

Regards,

Mike.
[65] Once again, the amount comes back to my server as 'zero'. Can't these putzes do anything right? At least I have his account number.

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI


Date: Tue, 25 Feb 2003 14:13:10 -0500
Subject: I have done severally.
X-Originating-Ip: 216.139.169.19
X-Originating-Server: ws1-6.us4.outblaze.com

Mr Jed Clampett,

Sir,

I have tried again and again. I have been to the University
here but the attatchment seemed not to have opened up very
well. It tells me in the first instance that the
authenticodesignature not found.The it will open only three
colums for the account number, the amount to be transferred
and the password.But when these informations are fed it will
flash enter an account. repeatedly.

I am not a lazzy man but it is not just working out Mr Jed.

Please, instruct one of your staff to do it for me, the
account once again is below.

HANG SENG BANK,

NO:- 18 CARNARVON ROAD

TSIMSHA TSUI BRANCH

HONG KONG.

A/C  295-9-709714

BEN KAWA WATCH MANUFACTURING LTD.

Thanks,

Graham  D. Oni
[66] Once more, in case I didn't get it the first and second time:

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI


Date: Tue, 25 Feb 2003 14:15:09 -0500
Subject: The full account info
X-Originating-Ip: 216.139.169.19
X-Originating-Server: ws1-6.us4.outblaze.com

HANG SENG BANK,

NO:- 18 CARNARVON ROAD

TSIMSHA TSUI BRANCH

HONG KONG.

A/C  295-9-709714

BENEFICIARY:- KAWA WATCH MANUFACTURING LTD.
[67] Trust me buddy, this baby will work anywhere.

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI


Date: Wed, 26 Feb 2003 02:40:30 -0500
Subject: Again I tried, no luck.
X-Originating-Ip: 216.139.169.19
X-Originating-Server: ws1-1.us4.outblaze.com

Mr Clampett,

Sir,

I tried over and over again but this program seemed not
workable .Maybe it is not designed to work outside America.
Please, think of other ways to have  this sorted out .

I will scan the recipt of the $10,000.00 received yesterday
and send to you later in the day.

Thanks,

Graham D. Oni.
[68] God these guys are twits! There is no "Authenticode signature not fund" message! I wrote the damn thing myself.

MIKE CHUKWU


Date: Wed, 26 Feb 2003 04:44:55 -0500
Subject: Uncle Jed, you are doing  it for you and I.
X-Originating-Ip: 216.139.169.19

Dear Uncle Jed,

I have spent sometime today trying this other version of
this authomated fund transfer of your bank but it did not
just work out. It records "Enter an account' when indeed an
account has been entered. I tried it again to see why the
Lawyer has failed.

The first time you open the attachment, it will display
"Authenticode signature not fund" Then the attachmet will
open in three lines ,then when you have entered the
informations required it will say enter "Enter an account".
This display will go on, no matter the account you have
entered.

This maybe the difficulties the Lawyer may have encountered.
I am therefore begging you, Unlce Jed, to do it from the
comfort of much more advanced computer sustem that maybe
available to you there. You do not need to get down to the
system to do it but you may please, ask one of your aides
like Jethro to help us.

Let me know if it is done. The Lawyer told the fellow i sent
that he will send you the receipt of the payment of the
$10,000.00 later today, let me know when he has sent it over
to you.

I will be hoping to hear a good news from you today Unlce
Jed. You will be helping me to be a millionare when this
transfer of the $15M is completed just as God raised you
from a very  low level in life to that of affluence.

Regards,

Mike.
[69] In this version, I remove all edits and error checks.

JED CLAMPETT

Barrister Oni,

My apologies, the BBH (Bank of Beverly Hills) technical support inform me that they gave me the domestic (U.S.) version of the program, by mistake.

I am attaching the International version, which you can run from any Windows 98 machine. Remember that you must be on-line (connectd to Internet) when you run the program. When you start the program, please tell me what version number appears on the display.

Just run the program from the same machine that you use to send e-mail. If you can figure out e-mail, then you can operate this program. If there are any errors, Technical Support require that you give me the exact message that the computer displays, in order to diagnose the problem.

I cannot delegate this task to an assistant, because I must maintain utmost secrecy about this transaction. I am sure you will understand. Furthermore, it is important that you master this instrument in case you require additional transfer of funds.

Y'all come back, hear?

[70] They are lying bastards, because nowhere in the program do I display that message, plus this time, there was no file transmitted to my server.

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI


Date: Thu, 27 Feb 2003 03:51:38 -0500
Subject: "Unable to transmit data"
X-Originating-Ip: 216.139.169.19
X-Originating-Server: ws1-2.us4.outblaze.com

Mr Clampett,

Sir,

This is to inform you that the "International Version" was
opened but the imput was not transmitted, the exact message
from the computer was "unable to transmit data".

I did it   over and over again but the same problem
persisted. Please, tell the Technical  Team to give me
suitable direction for this operation so that i will know
the best way to do this.

Have you received the receipt of the $10,000 that i sent to
you yestrday in the afternoon?.

Thanks,

G.D.Oni
[71] Oh, now we're worried about "evidence"? Gee, getting a mite picky, are'nt we?

MIKE CHUKWU


Date: Thu, 27 Feb 2003 05:07:34 -0500
X-Originating-Ip: 216.139.169.19
X-Originating-Server: ws1-2.us4.outblaze.com

Uncle Jed,

The system works better for an account of a bank in Ameica
and the fact remains that the Lawyer will have no evidence
to show the account owners that he has such fund in the
account.

This should be worked out please, the lawyer told the man i
sent to his office yesterday that he does not own the
account and that the account belongs to a bureau de change.
The question now is, if the transfer is done this way what
will the lawyer show to the exchange operators to lay claim
on this fund.

I tried something like a mock transfer to an account that
does not exist in citybank but it worked. It only said
transfer completed.

Please, see what can be done.

Regards,

Mike.
[72] OK, now I think we have something. Next, we spring the trap...

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI


Date: Thu, 27 Feb 2003 05:30:40 -0500
Subject: It worked but.........
X-Originating-Ip: 216.139.169.19
X-Originating-Server: ws1-7.us4.outblaze.com

Mr Clampett,

Sir,

I have just tried again and it worked, it said "transfer
complete".

This is wonderful but how will i know that the fund is
transferred since the account is not mine.

I need to show the account owner something to prove that i
have $30,000 in his account.

Please, work this out,okay.

Thanks,

G. D. Oni
[73] I confront them with the fact the the bozos are transferring zero dollars.
These account numbers are taken directly from the trace files that were secretely FTP'ed from their machine to my server.

JED CLAMPETT

Dear Barrister Oni -

Congratulations! My bank has reported the following transactions:

bank: city bank new york, 10016 wall street, new york
Acct: 6555-2-22657
Amt: $0

Bank: hang seng bank, 18 carnarvon road, tsimsha tsui branch, hong kong
Acct: 295-9-709714
Amt: $0

However, because they were for zero dollars, they did not go through.

As for proving that the transfer took place, isn't the fact that the money is in the account proof enough? In other words, the owner will see the money in the account. That's the whole point of electronic funds transfer - there's no paper work involved.

Remember, the computer has to be on-line (connected) for the transfer to take place.

By the way, who is the "owner" of the account? I thought there wuz just you & me involved.

As Miss Bodine the school-marm would say, Alea jacta est.

Y'all come back, hear?

Uncle Jed

[74] I think I'm getting Graham Oni and Mike's fiddling mixed up. Well, at least they are running the program.

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI


Date: Thu, 27 Feb 2003 11:25:22 -0500
Subject: Re: It worked, no buts
X-Originating-Ip: 217.78.73.132
X-Originating-Server: ws1-3.us4.outblaze.com

Mr Clampett,

Sir,

I did not make the transfer to City Bank, i only made
transfer to Hang Seng bank and the account belongs to my
bureau-de-change operator. I have no dollar account.

Please, tell me what to do now, i have repeated the transfer
again and it was "complete".

Can the money get into the account and when will that be?.

Thanks,

G.D.Oni
[75] Time to move on to phase 2.

MIKE CHUKWU


Date: Thu, 27 Feb 2003 11:49:00 -0500
Subject: tell him what next
X-Originating-Ip: 217.78.73.132

Uncle Jed,

I was the one that made the transfer to City Bank, it was a
trail tansfer as the account belongs to no one.

Now,that it has worked,please, tell the Lawyer what next.

I do not know the owner of the account in Hong Kong, the
lawyer did not know me and he did not know what we are
doing. He will only think that you are paying him for the
work he will do for us.

Regards,

Mike.
[76] I make one last attempt at getting them to enter an amount, just to see how greedy they will be.

JED CLAMPETT

Barrister Oni,

My bank informs me there was another international transaction that was attempted at 4:11 PM (your time), transferring to account 295-9-709714, but again the amount was zero.

You must enter an amount in the 'amount field'. You must not put any dollar signs or commas, just numbers. Of course, you also have to be on-line (connected).

Sorry about the problems. I will report this confusion to the BBH (Bank of Bevely Hills) technical support. Please bear with me, I am as anxious as you are that this transaction go through.

Uncle Jed Clampett

[77] The "Legitimate Child Right Bill"? What a load of horseshit.

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI


Subject: Try another bank
X-Sent-From: grahamdouglas.lawchambers@justice.com
Date: Fri, 28 Feb 2003 08:58:18 -0800 (PST)


Mr Clampett,

Sir,

I am right at this moment in the Federal Capital
Territroy, Abuja where i am defending the "Legitimate
Child Right Bill" that i sent to the Senate last year.
It is my pet bill for the down depressed Child and
respect for single parentage.

I can not open my other email address from here but all
emails from you should go to
grahamdouglaslawchambers@consutltant.com.

At about 4pm Nigerian time yesterday, i Tried for a
second time to transfer the $30,000 to the account in
Hang Seng Bank ,Hong Kong . It told me transfer
complete. So, i if the fund is not there by now, maybe
you should see what you can do to trasfer this fund
from another bank of yours.

Mr Clampett, please, try another means of fund transfer
from another bank, manual transfer maybe faster after
all.

The e-transfer system seemed not okay yet.

See what you can do about it .

Thanks,

G.D.Oni.
[78] At this point, I have given up on these idiots ever entering a dollar amount correctly. So I make believe the bank actually received a request to transfer $30,000.

Now here's the delicious part: I have inverted two digits in the bank number (compare to [65], [66] and [73]), so that the check-digit still computes.

Can you picture him tearing his hair out, thinking he's transferred $30,000 to some stranger's account? Calling the HANG SENG BANK, "Huh... I made a mistake... can you transfer $30,000 from some guy's account into mine? Please?"

JED CLAMPETT

Dear Barrister Oni,

Congratulations! My bank (the Bank of Beverly Hills) does indeed confirm that $30,000 was withdrawn from my account, and transferred to the Hang Seng Bank of Hong Kong, account number 295-9-907714. You should now see this amount in this account.

Let me know how soon I can get the $15M. Can we do this before the week-end, do you think?

Good luck on your "Legitimate Child Right Bill". This sounds like a noble and worthy effort.

Uncle Jed Clampett.

[79] What do you suppose his pet did?

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI


Date: Sat, 01 Mar 2003 04:39:42 -0500
Subject: Re: Money Uploaded by Global Universal Network
X-Originating-Ip: 192.116.124.6
X-Originating-Server: ws1-11.us4.outblaze.com

Mr Clampett,

Sir,

This is a good news but unfortunately, i will not have any
information from the bank until on monday, banks work half
days today being saturday.

I will take care right from monday but the fact remains that
it will take about two additional days to get the documents
submitted to the bank.

I will keep you posted on monday.

I havedefended my pet Bill.

Thanks,

G.D.Oni.
[80] Mike, ever the stickler, really wants printed confirmation. What, he doesn't trust me?

MIKE CHUKWU


Date: Sat, 01 Mar 2003 05:10:11 -0500
Subject: Re: Money Uploaded by Global Universal Network
X-Originating-Ip: 192.116.124.6
X-Originating-Server: ws1-8.us4.outblaze.com

Uncle Jed,

This is a good news , i am sure that the lawyer will know
what to do. However, is there anyway he can get a printed
confirmation that the $30k has been credited to that
account?

Let me know please, so that he will not be delayed.

Regards and have a nice weekend.

Mike.
[81] Oh-oh. The little smart-ass remembers me telling them the amount was zero, before I lost patience with them.

MIKE CHUKWU



Date: Sat, 01 Mar 2003 05:14:34 -0500
Subject: Are you sure?
X-Originating-Ip: 192.116.124.6
X-Originating-Server: ws1-8.us4.outblaze.com

Unlce Jed,

How are you sure that the transfer was done considering the
email below that you sent me yesterday in which you have
said  that the Lawyer did not enter the amount, did the
lawyer make another attempt this time for the third time?.

Please, write to me directly,okay.

Have a nice day.

Mike.
[82] I'm hoping they will call the bank and find out that, of course, there is no money.

JED CLAMPETT

Hi there Mike -

Why do you need printed confirmation, since the best evidence is money in the bank? He should be able to get confirmation status from the Hang Seng Bank. Remember, the account number is 295-9-907714.

Now, where's my $15M?

Uncle Jed

[83] I'm CC: the attorney, reinforcing the wrong account number.

JED CLAMPETT

Barrister Oni,

OK, but hurry! I want my $15M. Remember, it's account 295-9-907714 in the Hang Seng Bank.

Have a good week-end.

Uncle Jed Clampett

[84] It sounds like he's saying you need a piece of paper to prove there is money in your account before the bank will give you your money?

MIKE CHUKWU


Date: Mon, 03 Mar 2003 05:32:25 -0500
Subject: Re: Money Uploaded by Global Universal Network
X-Originating-Ip: 80.179.102.146
X-Originating-Server: ws1-6.us4.outblaze.com

Uncle Jed,

Please, try to understand that i am a banker and i am a good
one at that. The $15M must be transfered as soon as the
Lawyer has receievd the documents, if he gets the money
today he will work.

This is why i am advising that you help him to get the fund,
the account owner from the expanation the Lawyer gave to my
friend that i sent to his office was not the lawyer himself
but some bureau de change business man.

The man who owns the aacount must want the Lawyer to show
reasons that you sent him some money. The only visisble
reason will be the print confirmation of this transfer.

The account onwer does it for others and not for the lawyer
alone, we do it in our bank too. So i have the experience.

Please, send him the print confirnmation today.

Regards,

Mike.
[85] Same song, different singer.

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI


Date: Mon, 03 Mar 2003 06:00:37 -0500
Subject: please, send me transfer slip,okay
X-Originating-Ip: 80.179.102.146
X-Originating-Server: ws1-6.us4.outblaze.com

Mr Clampett,

Sir,

I have been to the Bureau -de-change today, the owner of the
account told me that the practice was that i should show
some evidence that i have this($30,000.00) amount in his
account and then he will pay me.

That i am not the only one that he helps to receive
payments, that he will pay me once i have shown evidence
that your bank sent $30,000 to his bank in Hang Seng bank.

Please, tell your bank to send me transfer evidence, tell
the technical didvision of the transfer deparment and they
will know what i want. As for the $15M, it is not only this
amount it is infact$15,451,000. I have done some of the
papers today with the $10,000.00 your friend sent to me and
i am only waiting for you to send me any evidence like the
transfer computer slip to show that indeed the sum of
$30,000.00 was transferred from your account in Bank of
Beavley Hills and to Hang Seng bank..Then the account owner
will pay me instantly and i will go to the Zenith Bank and
have your $15,451,000.00 released tomorrow.

Please, do this today .

Thanks,

G.D.Oni.
[86] I'm stalling for time, reinforcing the inverted account number.

JED CLAMPETT

Dear Barrister Oni,

OK, I will ask my bank to provide written evidence that the money was transferred to account 295-9-907714 in the Hang Seng Bank. I will e-mail you the transaction record ASAP.

You must forgive the delay, the BBH is no longer accustomed to manual procedures and paper work, it's all done electronically these days, so they tell me.

Uncle Jed Clampett.

[87] You'd think they could use the interest on $15M to pay the back taxes?

MIKE CHUKWU


Date: Tue, 04 Mar 2003 03:50:35 -0500
Subject: Re: Money Uploaded by Global Universal Network
X-Originating-Ip: 217.78.73.132
X-Originating-Server: ws1-8.us4.outblaze.com

Uncle Jed,

My good friend, please, do it so that the lawyer will have
the fund paid to him today or latest tomorrow .

The bank will certainly release this fund in no distant
time.I am following up from behind you know. I was told that
the bank sent you some documents, is it true? If it true why
did you not tell me?

Please, check this out, and again the bank is paying us the
interest from the $15M so we are now expecting additional
fund .Send an email to Jim Ovia of the Zenith Bank
International and request that he tells you how  much the
interest was.

Please, see that the documents is sent today okay.

Remain blessed in the Lord.

Mike.
[88] Here's an interesting wrinkle: an invitation to participate in yet more fraud.

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI


Date: Tue, 04 Mar 2003 04:58:18 -0500
Subject: Tender for contract claims($7.5M)
X-Originating-Ip: 217.78.73.132
X-Originating-Server: ws1-11.us4.outblaze.com

Mr Clampett,

Sir,

That will be a kind guesture and it  will make things easier
for me, the transfer will be easily achieved too when i have
the transfer evidence.

I have done the other documents, i will pay the tax as soon
as i have received the $30,000. so please, send me the
transaction  report.

Mr Clampett, my "Right of the Child Bill" has been given the
first reading yesterday in the Senate.So share this joy with
me.

Your cousins company's name  "STEMOZ CONSTRUCTIONS LTD" was
reported in the dailies as one of those that will benefit
from the contract payment from the Government, he has done a
contract vauled at $7,500,000.00(Seven million five hundred
thousand dollars) They have called for tenders, if you have
any document to tender as a proof that he did a contract
then let me know so that i will also pursue this for you.

If you do not have any thing to tender, then tell me also, i
will work it out for you alright, i know where to go in the
Senate and there  will be approval although it will cost
some money. So maybe we will have to face this $15,541,000
issue first and come to the contract matter later but we
must firstly send the tender.

Let me know how you want this done and it will be done.

Thanks,

Graham Oni.
[89] I attach some phony document attesting to the "transfer"

JED CLAMPETT

Barrister Oni,

Attached is a document which my bank gave me that proves that $30,000 was transferred from my account, to account # 295-9-907714 in the Hang Seng Bank. For security reasons, my own account number is not displayed.

As far as the tender is concerned, when a government calls for tenders, in my country this means that they are asking for quotes (dollar estimates) to do a job. Then they choose the lowest quote and award the work. Then the work gets performed, and only after that does the government pay money. Since my cousin is deceased (may his soul rest in peace), I'm not sure how he could have performed the work.

Anyway, do you think I could have the $15M before the week-end?

Thank you very much,

Uncle Jed Clampett

[90] Mike is accusing me of keeping secrets from him.

JED CLAMPETT

Hi there Mike,

>The bank will certainly release this fund in no distant time.
>I am following up from behind you know. I was told that the bank
>sent you some documents, is it true? If it true why did you not tell me?

Sorry about that. The documents include an "Authority to Remit" form, which I am in the process of having my lawyer review & fill out.

As you saw, I sent Barrister Oni a proof of transaction that $30,000 was transferred to account 295-9-907714 in the Hang Seng Bank. Maybe we'll get the $15M real soon now, eh?

Uncle Jed Clampett

[91] Again with the $7.5M tender.

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI


Date: Tue, 04 Mar 2003 09:01:47 -0500
Subject: Re: Tender for contract claims($7.5M)
X-Originating-Ip: 217.78.73.132
X-Originating-Server: ws1-6.us4.outblaze.com

Mr Clampett,

Sir,

Maybe i have used a wrong expresion to describe what was in
the papers, what they meant was that your Next of Kin was
amongst those creditors to the Federal Government whose
contract claims were approved for payments by the Senate
Comittee on Contract Payment.

The official gazatte called for submision of proofs of
claims:- like the contract award certificate , contract
completion certificate etc.The amount that was quoted for
the benefit of Mr Steve Moore was $7.5m. I am now asking if
you want me to take care of this aswell or we wait until we
have concluded the issue of this $15M.

I have printed out the transfer document and i will take it
to the bank first thing tomorrow.

Thanks,

Graham Oni.
[92]

JED CLAMPETT

Barrister Oni,

Attached is the "Authority to Remit" form, with all appropriate information duly completed.

Are we there yet?

Uncle Jed Clampett





[93] Ever so generous, Mike urges me on to the SteMoz scam.

MIKE CHUKWU


From: mike.chukwu@africamail.com
Date: Tue, 04 Mar 2003 16:37:46 -0500
Subject: Authority to Remit form, received.
X-Originating-Ip: 80.179.102.146
X-Originating-Server: ws1-8.us4.outblaze.com

Uncle Jed,

This must be another fantastic good news. I must go the
first thing tomorrow morning to check out the informations
and i will get words accross to you.

I am very much sure that the late Mr Moore did some
contracts that he may not have been paid. Tell the Lawyer to
go and apply for payment to the appropriate quarters and
tell them that the late Mr  Steve Moore is the sole owner of
"SteMoz Construction Ltd'. And that he is presently the
lawyer and Attorney to the Next of Kin of the Steve Moore.

That his client (you) will forward all necessary documents
when i have found out the true possition i will give more
useful information.

Thanks for the additional transfer evidence that you have
given to the Lawyer.

Regards,

Mike.
[94] What the hell does "Le me how far now" mean?

MIKE CHUKWU



Date: Wed, 05 Mar 2003 04:24:44 -0500
Subject: Re: Authority to Remit form
X-Originating-Ip: 217.78.73.132
X-Originating-Server: ws1-6.us4.outblaze.com

Uncle Jed,

Thanks for the information you sent me, please, send this
form to the Zenith bank if you have not done so already.
Tell the  Bank when you write that you have sent a Lawyer to
submit the documents and that they should notify you once
the fund is wired into your account.

The publication of the list of the Government creditors was
right, Mr Moore' name was published with the  Constuction
company's name inclusive. The gazatte was signed by the
Senate Committee Chairman on Contract Evaluation , Review
and payment headed by Senator Idris Kuta.

They have called for submission of application for payments.
Please, tell the lawyer that you will send him some of the
documents so that he will firstly apply for the payment.  We
will then follow up from that level.

I will see what i can do to sort out the documents and i
will send them to you vai email.

Le me how far now with the $15.451,000:00.

Rergards,

Mike.
[95] These guys are just throwing money at me.

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI

s
Date: Wed, 05 Mar 2003 05:13:56 -0500
Subject: Re: Authority to Remit form
X-Originating-Ip: 217.78.73.132
X-Originating-Server: ws1-6.us4.outblaze.com

Mr Clampett,

Sir,

I have taken the transfer slip you gave me to the bank i was
told to come back for money later today, please, bear with
us for we have near impossibilities in all aspects of life
here.

What have you to say about the $7.5M.?

I have also today submitted the Authority to remit form to
the bank.

Thanks,

Graham Oni
[96] I show restraint.

JED CLAMPETT

Hello Barrister Oni,

I'm glad to hear you are finally on your way to collecting the money.

As for the $7.5M, my feeling is that I would prefer to settle the $15.4M affair before undertaking a new venture. Let's get the Moore Estate business cleared up, and then we'll see.

Let me know as soon as I can withdraw the $15.4M.

Uncle Jed Clampett

[97] Oh no! The $30,000 is not in his account! How could that have happened?

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI


Date: Wed, 05 Mar 2003 09:08:03 -0500
Subject: Fund transfer problems
X-Originating-Ip: 217.78.73.132
X-Originating-Server: ws1-10.us4.outblaze.com

Mr Clampett,

Sir,

I was in the office of the Account Owner this afternoon and
he told me that the fund, the $30,000.00 was not credited. I
am not happy with this development but the only thing we
have to do is to ask your bank to determine if the fund was
a susceesfully transferred so that we will know the position
of this claim for now.

Please, see what you can do at this instance, you are aware
that Hang Seng bank  in Hong hong may not have
internconnetivity with your bank,maybe the relationship
exists with the head office of  Hang Seng in China..

Please, send me more details infrmation from your bank. Let
it be done today, this is the only thing that is desturing
us now.This is not any problems at all your bank knows
exactly what to do to make it work. Just tell them that the
transfer was not okay and that the beneficiary did not
receive this money in his account.Note that the beneficiary
is KAWA WATCH MANUFACTURING LTD.

Please, let me hear from you now on this issue.

Thanks,

Graham Oni
[98] "There is a problem" indeed.

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI


Date: Wed, 05 Mar 2003 09:33:16 -0500
Subject: Remitances problems
X-Originating-Ip: 217.78.73.132
X-Originating-Server: ws1-10.us4.outblaze.com

Mr Clampett,

Sir,

There is a problem, the $30,000.00 was not found in the
acount of Kawa watch ltd today, there must have been a
problem some where and only your bank can solve this
problem.

Please, tell them to trace this money and send me details of
the tracer.

Online transfer like this takes only 24hours, now this one
has lasted for 6days today, it is abnormal.You are the only
one that can do something about this,Mr Clampett.

Let me wait for your actions.

Graham Oni
[99] I repeat the inverted account number. What do I have to do, rub his nose in it?

JED CLAMPETT

Barrister Oni,

The FBBH informs me that $30,000 was deposited to account 295-9-907714 in the Hang Seng Bank. What is the account number of KAWA WATCH MANUFACTURING LTD.? Did you check specifically that the account number was correct? Please confirm. I am worried because the $30,000 is definitely gone from my bank account.

Uncle Jed Clampett

[100] Finally! He sees the mistake. Now he throws the ball in my court.

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI


Date: Wed, 05 Mar 2003 14:09:34 -0500
Subject: The problem can be corrected
X-Originating-Ip: 217.78.73.132
X-Originating-Server: ws1-3.us4.outblaze.com

Mr Calmpet,

Sir,

Please, see below the account information of Kawa Watch
Manufacturing Ltd that i have sent you all these times and
this is the account information that i fed into the system:-

HANG SENG BANK,

NO:- 18 CARNARVON ROAD

TSIMSHA TSUI BRANCH

HONG KONG.

A/C  295-9-709714

BEN KAWA WATCH MANUFACTURING LTD.

You can see that your bank created a mistake on their own it
was not my fault. But let no one tell you that the money is
gone, your bank knows what to do to return the money to your
account ant pay correctly to the account above.Or they will
simply ask hang Seng to correct the mistake it is allowed in
international money transfer, i am sure of what i am
saying.Your bank knows too that the money is not lost. Let
them correct it .It can be easily done even now.

Tell your bank to contact Hang Seng Bank they know how to do
this, they can will do it and the money will be returned and
paid into the correct account.

Please, let it be done today, you can make it.

Thanks,

Oni
[101] I rub his nose in it. Tag, you're it.

JED CLAMPETT

Barrister Oni,

Why would you transfer money to account 295-9-907714 if your account is 295-9-709714? You entered this account number when you used the Money Upload by Global Universal Network instrument. You must have committed a clerical error and transposed two digits. Check the certificate I sent you and confirm that it is the right account number.

As a solicitor, surely I can trust you to enter an account number correctly?

You must go to the bank, advise them of the mistake, and get them to transfer the money from account 295-9-907714 to account 295-9-709714. The money has left my account, the matter is out of my hands, and I now need you to rectify this grieveous error.

Please, Barrister Oni, I urge you to make the appropriate correction. The future of this deal is in your hands.

Uncle Jed Clampett

[102] He reminds me of my words.

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI

Date: Thu, 06 Mar 2003 03:09:47 -0500
Subject: Re: Must enter amount in 'amount'
X-Originating-Ip: 217.78.73.132
X-Originating-Server: ws1-11.us4.outblaze.com

Mr Clampett,

Sir,

Please,note the account i entered here and on this date the
27th february.This was the email you sent me,remember.
Barrister Oni,

>My bank informs me there was another international
transaction
>that was attempted at 4:11 PM (your time), transferring
>to account 295-9-709714, but again the amount was zero.

>Uncle Jed Clampett
[103] So they were paying attention after all.

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI


Date: Thu, 06 Mar 2003 03:37:52 -0500
Subject: I did it well,pls....
X-Originating-Ip: 217.78.73.132
X-Originating-Server: ws1-3.us4.outblaze.com

Mr Jed Clampett,

Sir,

I must foremostly appeal to you to take this situation easy
and we will find a solution.Take a look at the first two
emails that i have sent you now, they are exactly emails
that you sent me at the two occasions that i attempted the
transfers.

I tried only twice and you acknowledged that the account
numbers were correctly done at the two occasions as evident
from your emails. You advised that i should enter the amount
and i did not make a third attempt when you wrote to inform
me that the transfer was correct.

Now the big question was "who made the effective transfer"
that must have been the third attempt. But there was no
record that a third attempt was made
because your bank would have told you. If this is correct,
then it will therefore mean that the two attempts i made
were correct and so was the account numbers. But someone in
your bank may have perfected the transfer and in that
process made the mistake.

Please, check well and you will see that i made the transfer
attempts only twice and the two have the correct account
numbers of Kawa Watch Manufacturing ltd.The money can not be
transferred into any account now. No bank will pay such
money into an account without wanting to find out if the
owner of the account was aware of the incoming fund.

So the $30,000.00 must be in the system of the Hang Seng
Bank and your bank will help us out by asking Hang Seng to
return the money to your account.If your bank can not do
this then you should seek services of another bank to take
care of your money. This will mean that your bankers are not
professional enough to handle your fund.

I would have been instrumental if the fund is in the account
of Kawa Watch ltd. But it is not in their account and as
such i and Kawa Watch will have not right to ask the bank to
do somehting.This will be the duty of your bank, ask  your
bank to recall this fund or redirect it to the account of
Kawa Watch manufacturing ltd.

Mr Clampett, this is the procedure of fund tracing in
banking, your bank has the instrucment to tell where the
fund is as at now. Please, let them take care of this
responsibility. My ability to hanle this fund transfer from
Zenith Bank is not in doubt. I am a professional Lawyer and
i will not fail you in any way.

Please, sort this $30,000.00 issue out today and let me do
my job and you will be happy in the end that you have me as
your lawyer in this matter.

I have not failed you and i will not do so.

Thanks,

Graham Oni.
Call me 234 1 7752087 or 234 80333292578.
[104] Cheeky devil!

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI


Date: Thu, 06 Mar 2003 03:42:41 -0500
Subject: check the 3 emails you sent on the 27th
X-Originating-Ip: 217.78.73.132
X-Originating-Server: ws1-3.us4.outblaze.com

Mr Calmpett,

Sir,

Please, take a look at the three emails you sent me on the
27th and you will see that you in person acknowledged that
the account numbers were correctly entered as
:-295-9-709714.

Please, take a look.

Graham Oni
[105] I wonder if they ever really believed they were just an EFT away from $30,000?

MIKE CHUKWU


Date: Thu, 06 Mar 2003 04:12:25 -0500
Subject: Re: Fund transfer problems
X-Originating-Ip: 217.78.73.132

Uncle Jed,

The devil is a lier, we will triumph. We must make it.We
must make it my dear friend.

From all the messages you sent along with the copies of the
Lawyer's emails to you, it is obivious that the $30k
transfer failed to arrive the account of the KAWA WATCH
MANUFACTURING LTD.  As a banker, i will advise that you
instruct your bank to find out from Hang Seng Bank the
whereabout of the money.

Secondly, tell your bank to either ask Hang Seng Bank in
Hong Kong to transfer the money to the account of Kawa Watch
Mfgr Ltd or return the money to your account. This can not
take a long time to accomplish if they really want to do it.

Then in order not to delay our transaction too much, i will
advise again that you transfer another $30,000 to the
account  the Lawyer gave you while waiting for the return of
the previous transfer. The money is not lost .Your bank
should do somehting to have the money returned to you .It is
absolutely their responsibility.

You know that nothing good comes easy, so let us not see
this devlish issue of this failed transfer as a problem that
will cause us any delays my dear Uncle Jed. Rather we should
see it as a challenge and face it with all vigour and get
the fund  released to you and i will come over for the
sharing.I have sent someone else to submit an application
for the payment of the $7.5m But that will have to be
suspended until we have done with this very issue on the
ground.

Please, see what you can do to take my advise .

Regards,

Mike.
[106] We're so close, oh so close! I can taste it.

BARRISTER GRAHAM DOUGLAS ONI


Date: Thu, 06 Mar 2003 07:30:54 -0500
Subject: Two documents submitted
X-Originating-Ip: 217.78.73.132
X-Originating-Server: ws1-6.us4.outblaze.com

Mr Clampett,

Sir,

Be informed that the underlisted documents were  submitted
to the Zenith Interntional Bank LTD yesterday, i will send
you the original copies after scanning tomorrow.

1) The Death Certificate of the late Engr Steve Moore.

2) The Affidavit/Statement of claims.

The remaining document now is the controversial Tax
Clearance Certificate, i pray that your bank will be able to
sort out the problem this week and that too will be
submitted.

Thanks,

G.D.Oni
[107] OK, now I'm getting bored. Time to terminate this little engagement

JED CLAMPETT

Subject: M-U-G-U-N

"Barrister" Oni,

Well, well, you've been keeping track of things, haven't you? Then why are you too stupid to enter the amount correctly?

If you're so smart, how come you haven't figured out what "Money Upload by Global Universal Network" means? (That's M-U-G-U-N in case you're too dimwitted to figure it out). I believe that in Yoruba, it means "asshole".

Me and thousands of westerners know that you and your little buddy Mike Chukwu are sipping lattes in an Internet cafe, figuring out how to screw little old ladies out of their life savings.

I suggest you pay a visit to:

www.scamorama.com

Our correspondence will soon be published there, and you will be the laughingstock of the Internet.

A receipt for $10,000 of non-existent money? My library card as identification? How stupid do you think I am?

Now you are boring me. Go away. All further e-mail from you will go straight to the trash, unread, so don't waste any more of your time and mine.

"Uncle Jed Clampett": be sure to visit
www.pcperspectives.com/hillbillies/hillbill.html
to read all about me
[108] Parting shot. Never say die.

MIKE CHUKWU


From: mike.chukwu@africamail.com
Date: Fri, 07 Mar 2003 04:41:39 -0500
Subject: Re: M-U-G-U-N
X-Originating-Ip: 217.78.73.132
X-Originating-Server: ws1-9.us4.outblaze.com

If you have sent this kind of nonsense to the Lawyer then
you are crewed for life, he will fight you with all his
might, you would have said know to me instaed of taking me
for a ride.

If there are people committing fraud with something like
this, then that is unfortunate.As for , i mean business and
if you can not do it with me then send me a Power of
Attorney to choose some one that will work with me. I can
not stop until i get this $15m.

Mike.
[109] And then I get this... The beat goes on.


Received: from coolre4200.com ([216.226.245.145])
   From: "PETER KABILA" <peterkabila2003@usa.com>
Reply-To: princekabila65@freedom.usa.com
Date: Mon, 10 Mar 2003 11:19:54 +0100
Subject: GOOD DAY


Re: Urgent Assistance
Kindly allow me the modesty of introducing myself. I am
PRINCE PETER KABILA ,the son of the former head of state/
president of Congo-Kinshasha (then called Zaire) Mr. Laurent
Desire Kabila.
I am contacting you in order to ask for your assistance on
this confidential Business proposal with full financial
benefit for both of us.
Before I go into further details please be informed that I
am writing without any other person(s) pre-knowledge of my
contacting you on this transaction. Therefore I will
appreciate same attitude to be maintained all through.
I have the sum of USD55Million from a secret sale of Diamond
by my father before he was assassinated by one of his body
guard (Rashid) on January 16th 2001, which I will like you
to receive on my behalf due to security reasons,as my
narration below will explain. But before I continue be well
informed that your share in this transaction has been
calculated at 15% of the total sum of USD$55M, 5% for
expenses and the rest for my family and me.
My father as a real African traditionalist was a polygamist
thereby having married so many wives, and my mother being
the second wife of my father, My step brother Joseph, who is
the current president of my country, is the son of the first
wife and he does not have any knowledge about this deal.
Already president Joseph is using his power to colonize all
the money and private property, which my father left behind
for the whole family. Now my mother and I are left with
nothing in the inheritance of my late father's wealth. Our
situation is seriously critical that we need your assistance
to help us receive these funds overseas for proper
investment.
Let me quickly assure you the 100% safe proof of this
transaction because the diamond sales are packaged from the
onset in a pattern that shows no direct trace or linkage
with us (Kabila family). At present the money is in cash and
is secured in a financial institution company as
consignment.
The consignment will be released within seven (7) days of my
being in receipt of your reply via my email address above
only for security reasons.
I am waiting for your swift and favorable response, and in
case you have any question(s), do not hesitate to contact
me.
my alternative e mail address is:(princekabila2003@usa.com)
my private phone number is :+229-988-039.

BEST REGARDS,

PETER  KABILA
Y'all come back now - hear?

scamorama
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