Lady Agatha pursues her team tag strategy: hook 'em and hand 'em over to Ilichy Miracsky. We do not have the original letter from "Lauren Kell" to Lady Agatha, but have included the letter as sent to another Kindly Contributor, along with some research on this Lad. This letter first appeared as Discrimination Among Lads. This looks like another attempt by the Lads to fabricate a company. Remember: anyone can print up stationery, write a web page and start a 'company'. On the internet, no one knows you're a Lad.
ORIGINAL "LUAREN KELL" LETTERFrom: "luaren kell" lkell@ecplaza.netReply-To: luaren@ecplaza.net Date: Thu, 25 Jul 2002 15:31:52 +0100 Subject: TOP URGENT INVESTMENT BUSINESS PROPOSAL!! GREETINGS, MY NAME IS LAUREN KELL I'M A CITIZEN OF FRANCE AND THE MANAGINGDIRECTOR OF ZINOS OIL A MULTI - NATIONAL CORPORATION OPERATING IN WEST AFRICA. I AM SEEKING YOUR ASSISTANCE TO TRANSFER THE SUM OF TWENTY THREE MILLION DOLLARS ($23M) INTO AN OVERSEAS ACCOUNT. PLEASE, HOW CAN YOU HELP ME? THIS MONEY WAS ACQUIRED FROM THE COMPANY AND I WANT TO TRANSFER IT OUT OF THE COUNTRY FOR MY PRIVATE INVESTMENT, MY REASON FOR THIS IS BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN CHEATED OUT OF MY ENTITLEMENTS BY THE COMPANY FOR FAR TOO LONG,SIMPLY BECAUSE I AM NOT AN AFRICAN. I WILL BE LEAVING THE COUNTRY IMMEDIATELY THE MONEY HAS BEEN TRANSFERRED OUT OF THE COUNTRY AND I HAVE VOWED NEVER TO STEP BACK INTO AFRICA.PLEASE, I NEED YOUR URGENT RESPONSE BEFORE MY PLANS TO LEAVE COMPANY ARE DISCOVERED. RIGHT NOW THE SAFEST FORM OF CORRESPONDENCE IS THROUGH MY OWN E-MAIL ADDRESS,PLEASE IN THE INTEREST OF CONFIDENTIALITY ONLY REPLY THROUGH MY DIRECT EMAIL ADDRESS. BEST REGARDS, LAUREN KELL. DIRECTOR ZINOS OIL : ZINOS OIL MULTI - NATIONAL CORPORATION. 202 PETER'S STREET, LAGOS NG. luaren@woungfaye.com SOME NOTES: "Woungfaye" is a misspelling of an ISP offering free mail. A search on "Zinos Oil" led to this page: http://www.busytrade.com/member.php?memberid=fraouk102 Sandhills West Africa Mike Eze Homepage: http:// Phone Number: 44-7005-942232 Fax Number: 44-7005-942233 Address: Plot 60 Ring Road Ibadan 11710 Nigeria [NG] ... describing itself as an oil services company "to services nigeria as a hole and the hole west african sub-region. The company has alot of borad of trustes and managing directors" Zinos also popped up in a spam posting in an IETF discussion group dedicated to technical talk. (See www.ietf.org, Internet Engineering Task Force, the folks who work on internet protocols.) The posting began "NOTICE DO NOT REGARD THIS LETTER AS A SCAM LETTER FROM AFRICA, THANKS" and went on with the same spam pitch: ---- START OF SPAM, VERSION USED TO SPAM IETF ---- Dear sir, I am Lauren Kell. I am a citizen of France, Managing Director of Zinos Oil Multi-National Corporation in Nigeria. I am seeking your assistance to transfer the sum of Twenty Three Million Dollars ($23m) by providing a reliable bank account for the money to be transfer into and I am still having Eleven Million raw cash with me and I will still want to send to you by a Korea Service, please how can you help me out. This money was acquired from the company and I want to transfer it out of the country for my private investment, because I have been cheated by the management of the company for too long since I was paralyzed is because I am not an African. I will be leaving the country immediately after the money has been transferred out of the country before they start their evil plan against me. Why I chose you is because we are all white and I believe that you can not made away with my money, because that happened to me last year when I transferred Four Million to my South African friend’s account and up till now the money can not be teased. Please kindly assist me and be true fully to me. Please tell me how much it will cost me for the assistance. After considering my letter, an agreement will be signed by both parties concerning the safety of the fund. Best regard. Managing Director Zinos Oil Multi-National Corporation www.zinosoil.8m.com ---- END OF SPAM ---- A look for the Zinoisoil web site resulted in this: http://www.zinosoil.8m.com/ ---> Freeservers account, file not found And now back to Lady Agatha Bristol, who has decided to correspond with this Lad! LADY AGATHA: I'M INTERESTEDDear Sir,I have received your message through one of our operatives in Lagos. My name is Agatha Bristol and I work for the British Government. I will tell you more if you are interested in helping us. We will ensure that your $23,000,000 is moved safely - perhaps to Gibraltar? The transfer will give us access to the banking system in Nigeria, which will help us further our interests in Africa. Her Majesty's Government is aware of religious wars and military dictatorships in Africa and my Secretary of State, Lord Melbury, is keen to stop human rights atrocities. Please email me back and we can get this transaction moving. Yours ever, Agatha Bristol CBE "LUAREN KELL": DRIVEN TO CRIME DESPITE MY BASIC HONESTYDear Agatha bristol,I thank you for your urgent response to my mail. The content of your mail has been noted therein. I am a very honest and trustworthy person, if not for what I am going through in my company I do not think I can do what I am doing right now, at times I think may be because I am a foreigner that is working in the mist of black people, this human beings that I am working for dose not appreciate what I am doing here for the company to grow, so I decided to act in this form. I will like to invest this fund into real estate investment in any country of your choice and also into a profitable business venture that you might know better. I will like you to co-operate with me as fast as possible to claim this fund that is in my position as of this moment. also the name to use to loge this fund in a diplomatic courier company so that we can claim this fund our self's without any trace to the both parties. Let me explain to you how we are going to get this fund out of Nigeria without any trace to both parties. My company uses this means to transfer fund out of this stupid country called Nigeria without the knowledge of the government so that they cannot impose much tax on the company. They transfer this fund through a diplomatic courier company and the consignment will be registered as photographic and printing materials, in this case the deplomatic company does not know the content of the boxes(consignment) of which they believe what the company is saying, as it is one of the biggest private oil producing company in Nigeria, with this the company transfers money out of this country without knowledge of the people nor the federal government of nigeria I will have to send to you an agreement letter that is duly signed by my lawyer, power of Anthony duly signed by me and my lawyer to enable you claim the fund on my behalf, and a copy of the deposit certificate that I use to loge the fund in the security company, so that you can keep all for filing. Pls my good friend indicates your interest on this matter so that I can prove my personality to you. As soon as you claim this boxes you are going to open account in different banks so that you can make the transfer bit by bit. pls do not let me down as I have families to take care of. How much percentage do you want? I think of giving you 15% of the total sum pls advice on this. I need your private phone and fax numbers so that I can contact you at my wish for more discussion. I wait your urgent response, Luaren kell LADY AGATHA: DON'T SWEAT ITFrom: "agatha bristol"To: luaren@ecplaza.net Date: 29 Jul 2002, 02:18:08 AM Subject: Re: thanks for your mail. Dear Mr. Kell, Thank you for your reply. On behalf of Lord Melbury, may I express Her Majesty's Government's gratitude and friendly wishes to you. Please do not be too concerned with the moral issues of this transaction. I, above all, am aware that not everyone shares your true motives. Indeed, I have to use a covert e-mail address, because forces within even my own department, are at work to stop the Foreign Office furthering the UK's aims inside Africa. In terms of property investment, the new town of Cockshire (named because of the huge number of natural bird wildlife), just outside the province of Sainsbury, in the West of England, will do nicely. Because it is new, and property prices are so high here, your share of the fund (plus the reward money we can negotiate later) will probably double within two years. I hope this is satisfactory. I am not sure of your phrase 'power of Anthony'. Please explain! We are happy to accept 25% of the fund. Please let us know how to continue this transaction. Kind regards and thank you for helping Her Majesty's Government. Agatha Bristol "LUAREN KELL": WHERE WE CAN PUT THE MONEY WE'RE GOING TO STEAL--- luaren@ecplaza.net wrote:Dear agatha bristol, thank you very much for your trust and honesty, i can not explain to you how comfortable i fell to transact this transaction with you as already i have put in all trust on you and unto my God. i just came back from the security company this morning to find out the countries that they have their branchies for delivery, but they oprational maniger of the deplomatic company told me that they can only deliver to the following countries: 1.holland. 2. indonesia. 3. florida u.s.a. 4. cotonou (west africa) please kindly indicate from one of the above which country will be favourable to go and claim the consignment in order for me to quickly notify the deplomatic security company for onward shipment. what i mean by pawor of arttorney from my lawyer, this i mean is the legal document affidavite that i will send to you to enable you claim the consignment on my behalf. thanks and God bless you. regards, luaren kell. LADY AGATHA: MEET AGENT ILICHYFrom: "agatha bristol"To: luaren@ecplaza.net Date: 29 Jul 2002, 08:10:30 AM Subject: Re: thank you for your trust!! Dear Mr. Kell, Not at all. We in the British Government are concerned that absolute secrecy and trust be the mainstays of this deal. Indeed, Sir Trevor McDonald, our Minister for Security, has authorised me to contact Lady Barbara Cartland, Governess of the Bank of England, to authorise a substantial reward for your sterling efforts. The countries you name are a slight problem, however; Holland could be a problem because our operative there, Mark Van Der Schnoodledick was recently killed. However, in nearby Czechoslovakia, we have an excellent agent, Ilichy Miracsky, who can receive the shipment. Thank you for clearing the Power of Attorney issue up, and for your good wishes. I sincerely hope that God is looking down on all of us, because this transaction is critical to our influence in West Africa. With all good wishes. Agatha Bristol LUAREN: NICE PEOPLE IN BENINluaren@ecplaza.net wrote:Dear agatha Bristol, Sorry for the late response to your mail. This was due to my ill health, as I was at the hospital all day receiving treatment. For the past one month now my B.p. Has being very high. Your email to me was read and understood, and sorry for the incidence that befell one of your colleagues in Holland that was killed. I highly sympathize with you. For this reason I agree with you that Holland is not the right place to make shipment to. I have contacted the security company earlier this morning and find out from them if they could be any other alternative means of making shipments, and they came up with cotonou republic de benin (west Africa). They also guarantee me of safe delivery of the consignment to you and also it is a country that is very free from danger and are loving people, and also they do not have money restriction. I would also be there to monitor the delivery and also assist you in making onward transfer through African development bank in cotonou to your nominated bank in London. I advice you to start your preparation to cotonou republic de benin. Go to the nearest france embassy in your country and seek for an entry tourist visa to cotonou republic de benin. Dear madam, you need to hurry up as the consignment has started incurring daily demurrage. Thank you for your cooperation in order to ensure smooth conclusion of this transaction. May God almighty be with you, and I am hoping of having a hand shake with you soon in cotonou. Best regards, Luaren kell. LADY AGATHA: HOW ABOUT A DRINK IN BENIN?Dear Mr. Kell,I am sorry that you are suffering ill health. I passed your e-mail to my Permanent Secretary, Peter Glaze. He is concerned that you may not be well enough to carry this transaction through. However, I assuaged him of his worries. Our Surgeon General, Harold Shipman, feels that higher blood pressure is normal for this situation. We are calm. I have spoken to our African Affairs advisor, Sir Humphrey Appelby. He knows the Republic of Benin well in fact he owns a house there. Perhaps we can meet there for a drink if you are agreeable. Peter Glaze himself may well be there, too. What did you think of our recommendation of 25% of the consignment? And have you had any thoughts of a reward for your efforts? The British Government is at your disposal. With all good wishes. Agatha Bristol LUAREN: ATTACHING 'CONSIGNMENT' DOCUMENTluaren@ecplaza.net wrote:dear agatha, i am very happy for the trust you have on my, i promise you that i will never let you down. here below is theattachment copy of the consignment before itwas deposited. regards, luaren kell. LADY AGATHA: SO WHAT IS "ZIMOS OIL" ?From: "agatha bristol"To: luaren@ecplaza.net Cc: Secret Agent Ilichy Miracsky Date: 31 Jul 2002, 08:41:23 AM Subject: Zimos Oil Dear Mr Kell, Please excuse the intrusion - no doubt you are working towards the successful completion of our transaction. Just one issue: our head of IT Security, Sir Alf Garnnett, is troubled. We cannot find any record on the Internet of Zimos Oil. Please could you put mine and Lord Melbury's minds at rest and assure us that Zimos Oil is alive and flourishing. Many thanks. Yours ever, Agatha Bristol CBE LUAREN: HURRY UPDear Agatha,we do not have much time, we need to act very fast. i am re-sending the attachment copy of the consignment for your perusal. regards, luaren kell. AGATHA: BUT WHAT IS ZIMOS OIL?Dear Mr. Kell,Thank you for your document. I have shown it to Peter Glaze and my other colleagues. It proves your trustworthiness. We're still worried that we can't find Zimos Oil on the Internet, and we still haven't negotiated your fee and our cut of the transfer. Myself and Lord Melbury are travelling on Government business next week, to Amsterdam for Mr. Von Schnoodledick's funeral, and to discuss the finer points of your proposal in detail. I will, therefore, be away all of next week, but I will be back on Saturday. You can email ilichy.miracsky@post.cz and he can help you take things further, should the need arise. v With all good wishes. Agatha Bristol AGATHA: ARE YOU NO LONGER INTERESTED IN SCAMMING ME?From: "agatha bristol"To: luaren@ecplaza.net Cc: ilichy.miracsky Date: 11 Aug 2002, 09:30:27 AM Subject: Continuation of Transaction Dear Mr. Kell, I hope that you are well. I have returned to London from my pressing Government business. I'm not sure if Mr. Miracsky has been in touch; he has had to attend to affairs in Prague. However, we are now ready to proceed with the business at hand. Lord Melbury is especially keen to go ahead, and Dame Barbara at the Bank of England is preparing the funds for release. Do let me know the current state of play as a matter of urgency. We need access to Nigeria's financial system as soon as possible. As ever, Agatha Bristol CBE LUAREN: SEND MONEYHow are you today? hope you are okay in thne lord. i have being at the hospital for the past one week now, but i thank God that i am geting better now. i am useing my doctors systerm to reply to your mail as you might know we do not have much time in this transaction.i will be happy if you can send to me us$1000 dollars for my treatment as i have used all the money i have for my hospital bill. i will also like to know when and how fast you can make it to benin cotonou so that i will make all necessary prepartion to be with you. i will be happy if you can assist me with the bill for the hospital. regards, luaren kell. 234-8033-439-159. AGATHA: CAN DO, SEND BILLDear Mr. Kell,We are delighted that you are back on your feet. Regarding the hospital bill, I have mentioned this to Peter Glaze, my immediate superior, and Lord Melbury, the Minister of State. In the interests of goodwill, I'm pleased to say that we will be pleased to pay it for you. However, Dame Barbara Cartland, Governess of the Bank of England, needs to see a bill to sign off the expense, otherwise unsavoury elements within the Treasury and Foreign Office might see what we are doing. Please fax it to 00 44 906 100 808 and check yourself out. Just tell the accounts people at the hospital that the British Government - specifically, Lord Melbury - will pay any expenses you have amassed. You should be concentrating on a full recovery rather than worrying about money, at this stage. Don't worry if the fax takes a while - it's a special covert number, straight to Lord Melbury's office. We look forward to receiving your invoice. With warm regards. Agatha Bristol LUAREN: SEND ME YOUR PASSPORTbristol,Thank you very much for your assistance, in helping me with the hospital bill. i will fax to you the recipt of the bill so that you can keep it for filing. i just chcked my mail now to see if you have reply to my mail, but i saw the mail thatyou sent to me. i am very gratful to you for your effort so far in seing thatwe conclude this transaction as soon as possible. i will like you to send to me the name that i will use to register the consignment for shipment. please i will like you to send to me your first and second pages of your international passport for identification upon your arrival at benin cotonou, i will also like to haveyour full home/officeaddress for documentation. when will you be coming down to cotonou. i will like to make shipment assoon as possible, do you have a good account that can contain this fun? how many of you are involved in this transaction? please i am very sorry for asking you this, as i need to know so that i will not be suprised if we are to meet. i pray that God almighty will be with you. regards, luaren kell. LADY AGATHA: WE'RE HERE TO SERVEDear Mr. Kell,Think nothing of it. That's what we're here for. Know that you have the full weight of the Foreign Office behind you. Good point about a covert name - we should look at recruting you for our operations! Having spoken to Lord Melbury, I think we should use the name Sybil Fawlty on any documentation concerning the consignment for shipment - it's bland and untraceable. Please furnish me with a fax number so we can fax passport details to you. I would use my home address for sending through documentation: 221b Baker Street London NW1 FU2 United Kingdom I am not sure when we will be at Benin Cotonou. Let's see how the transaction goes and we will take it from there. I can charter one of the PM's private jets at a moment's notice, so don't worry. And as I said, Peter Glaze has a house there, so accomodation is no problem. We have accounts all over the world. I think one of our Gibraltar accounts will serve us well. The people involved in this deal are: Myself, Agatha Bristol, Head of Special Operations, UK Foreign Office Lord Melbury - Secretary of State, Foreign Office Peter Glaze - Permanent Secretary, Foreign Office Ilichy Miracsky - Special Agent, Foreign Office Special Operations Department I hope this is useful. Thank you for your good wishes. As ever, Agatha ILICHY IS IN THE HOUSEDear Mr KellAm puttings myself at your disposals. As Agent in Special Operations Department, I have now been briefed by Ms Bristol and will happy to help this matter go fast on the fact of her authorisations or that of Mr Glaze. I am in base Pracza some time now, but can travel. This is all discreet, of course, much hush. Hope hearing Ilichy Miracsky AND THE BEAT G0ES ON...?From: "agatha bristol"To: Ilichy Miracsky Cc: luaren@ecplaza.net Date: 14 Aug 2002, 06:13:07 AM Subject: Re: thank you very much. Agent Miracsky: Please make sure as a matter of course that you include myself and Mr. Kell in all communications, as you have done here. Mr. Kell, if you could please confirm to Agent Miracsky and myself that you have received this e-mail, it would be appreciated. Yours, Agatha Bristol
Note to Scamorama Readers from Lady Agatha: AND THE BEAT G0ES ON...?From: "agatha bristol"Dear Mr. Kell, It has been some days since we last heard from you, and, frankly, pressure is mounting here at the Foreign Office. Lord Melbury is concerned about your health; I am concerned that we haven't negotiated your reward, our cut of the fund (for expenses, not personal gain) nor received your hospital bill; and Special Agent Miracsky is twiddling his thumbs in Prague, which is so flooded, we will have to charter a special US Navy flight to get him out, at great cost to the Government. If I may be blunt: are you serious in this business or not? The West Africa policy of Her Majesty's Government of United Kingdom of Great Britain and Northern Ireland hinges, to a degree, on this transcaction. Please respond as a matter of the utmost urgency. Yours, Agatha Bristol, CBE LUAREN: NEED THAT HOSPITAL MONEYMy Dear Agatha,sorry for the late delay in response. for the past one week i have being admitted at the hospital. Right now I am using the computer at the hospital to respond to your mail. How are you? I hope you and your families are doing fine? I thank God almighty that I am getting better today. I hope at the end of this transaction I will be in Europe to receive treatment, can that be possible? Do you want me to fax the receipt of the hospital to that number? I might be discharged tomorrow evening so I will fax you the receipt. I will be going to the diplomatic security company tomorrow to find out of things. Please I apologize for any dealy that my health might have caused in this transaction. I will expect your urgent response. Regards, Luaren kell. LADY AGATHA: THE FATE OF AN EMPIRE IN THE BALANCE, OR AT LEAST A GOOD DINNERupdated August 20Dear Mr. Kell, We are sorry that your health is not good at the moment and while we send our very best wishes for the speediest of recoveries, we remain concerned that these delays caused by hospital treatment could cost us a lot more than just money in our fight against oppression in West Africa. Have you any idea how important this part of foreign policy is, not only to myself and to Lord Melbury but also to our Prime Minister? Special Agent Miracsky is also awaiting your response to his email of last week. Even The Queen is pinning hopes on you coming through, Mr. Kell, as she pointed out to me in no uncertain terms over dinner at Buckingham Palace last night. Please do not let us down. If it will help, Dr. Harold Shipman will see you in Cotonou. Dame Barbara Cartland, Governess of the Bank of England needs the receipt from the hospital. Do use that fax number. As I said before, it is a special line directly into Lord Melbury's office, and the necessary security clearances may mean you have to try several times. We will, in the meantime, await your news after your visit to the Global Security Company. As ever, Agatha Bristol, CBE AND THE BEAT G0ES ON...? |