THERE BUT FOR FORTUNE

Scamorama proudly presents an episode from the archives of Rabbi Ben Zona. When not shepherding his flock or tending to his large and growing family, the Rabbi has masterminded such adventures as A Bit of Botha, CIRCUMSPECTION, and most recently SPURIOUS. He is a frequent 'columnist' on this site and valued spiritual advisor.

For maximum enjoyment, find two friends, pick 'roles', and read this out loud, taking your time. Beer may enhance the experience. But I repeat myself.

According to the links Tony sent me, he's actually a fortune- teller, not a banker at all.
In retrospect I should have had him prognosticate a thing or two, but meh, here goes anyway...

Bad Guys (if it wasn't obvious)
Tony Chan, "friend and close confidant" of dead rich person
Mrs. Luisa Vaquinhas - "Banker" Lad

Good Guy
Rabbi Ben Zona - of Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Tony Chan



click for 'passport'

August 6, 2010

From: Tony Chan (tonychan290@yahoo.com.hk)
Subject: ATT:IMPORTANT MESSAGE..
IP: 115.182.0.6 (Beijing, China)

Dear Friend,

My name is Tony Chan Chun-chuen, friend and close confidant to Nina Wang Kung, Who passed away on the 3rd of April 2007 . I will save your time by not boring you with all the details at this time, Which has already been disseminated by the international media during the Controversial dispute that erupted between her and her late husband s Relatives concerning the huge estate he left behind. To save my time and yours I ask that you go to this link,

As you will learn after going through the link above, all sorts of stories Have been assumed concerning the huge sum of money she left behind. Some Stories even say she left the bulk of her estate to me. But the truth is, Although I am the sole custodian of a huge sum of her estate, she left strict Instructions that I hand over the money to charity and also that under no Circumstance should I let any of her late husbands relatives and even her own relatives lay their hands on the money. Contrary to media reports, she made Sure her immediate family is well catered for since she had no children of her Own,Before her death Nina Wang went ahead to dispatch the sum of Eight hundred and Twenty Million British Pounds (BP820, 000,000.00) in cash with the assistance Of a foreign diplomat who now resides in Europe, but I will ensure to make her Wish comes through. Now the reason why I have contacted you is that there is also some other Funds in the tune of $12,000,000.00 with the Hang Seng Bank China,and I want Your assistance for me to transfer these funds in your name to your account for Both of us I will agree to share with you in a negotiable percentage as far as You agree to take part in this mutual benefiting opportunity. Please I count on your absolute confidentiality, transparency and trust while Looking forward to your prompt response this Business transaction through my email address as follows:

Thanks & May the Stars Guide us In the Right Path, I remain yours sincerely,

Tony Chan Chun-chuen

"Tony" is not (the real) Tony Chan, and almost certainly not even Chinese, but a Lad of the expatriate Nigerian sort.
For a slightly dated but relevant data point, see this post about Lads in China, along with a cautionary note about Western Union practices.

Rabbi Ben Zona
September 1, 2010

Dear Tony,

While I empathize with you and your situation, this doesn't sound particularly legal. Can you please shed some more light on this?

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Tony Chan

September 1, 2010

Dear Friend,

Compliments of the day to you,Thank you very much for your response and interest in this transaction.

First, I must insist on your confidence in this transaction. I made this contact with you based on reliable information available to me courtesy of an agency that helps seek people by their email, and confirmed by my local chambers of commerce and industry concerning your reputation. Thus I am convinced you would be capable to provide me with a solution to a money transfer transaction of US$12,000,000.00(Twelve Million, United States Dollars).
In 2001, Mrs Nina Wang was going through a horrendous problems in the Hong Kong and was on the verge of losing most of her estate to some vicious individuals who kidnapped her husband that led to his death. As a result of this alarming predicament, Mrs Nina Wang came to me with a very brilliant idea as a friend she transferred some funds, Sixteen million two hundred thousand dollars ($12m) to a fixed deposit account in Hang Seng Bank China under an alias which only the two of us knew about as the confidentiality of the matter was necessary for my protection. The below link will shard more lights on this transaction.

Due to his untimely death in early 2007, the funds have been sitting in the account ever since and will continue to do so perpetually unless we do something about it. This is where you come in. Mrs Nina did not declare any next of kin in her official papers including the paper work of her bank deposit. Against this backdrop, my suggestion to you is that I would like you as a foreigner to stand as the next of kin to late Mrs Ninas funds so that you will be able to receive his funds. I want you to know that I have had everything planned out so that we can come out successful. I have contacted an attorney that will prepare the necessary document that will back you up as the next of kin to late Mrs Nina Wang. All that is required from you at this stage is for you to provide me with your present home address, phone and fax numbers, a copy of your identification (most preferably your driverŐs license or travelers passport) and a brief background profile of your self so that the attorney can commence his job.

After you have been made the next of kin, the attorney will also file in for claims on your behalf and secure the necessary approval and letter of probate in your favor for the move of the funds through a correspondence bank of Hang Seng Bank an account that will be set up by you. There is no risk involved at all in the matter as we are going adopt a legalized method and the attorney will prepare all the necessary documents.. The allocation of our money will be as follows: 30 %( $12.m) to you for your part in this, 65% for me and 5% for any unforeseeable expenses we may incur. I think this is extremely fair, as you have nothing to lose but just a little time, while on the other hand I am staking my flawless reputation among other things. And besides $12 million is no pocket change. Once you are approved, the entire transaction should take no longer than twelve business days after which we will go about our daily business hence i have a case ahead of me to fight with the family of the late Nina Wang, .

As you can see this is easier than taking candy from a baby, but mind you, trust is something that is developed over time and that is something that we do not have. So I have to let you know that it will highly unfeasible to try to run away with the money because . The money will be transferred from my bank to an account you will provide.

So please, there should be no room for greed because twelve million dollars can quench even the most insatiable desire for the almighty dollar.

Furthermore, if you follow up this transaction diligently it would be completed within 14 working days.What I expect from you is trust and commitment; I want this large sum of money transferred with your assistance.
I want to know if you are willing to follow up this business seriously, I shall be waiting for your response and assurance.
Sincerely,
Tony Chan

Tony Chan
September 4, 2010

(sent same opening gambit email as the first one)

Rabbi Ben Zona
September 13, 2010

Dear Tony,

I'm not sure how I, a lowly rabbi in a small village in Northern Israel, have possibly been mixed up in a money transfer. I am a man of the book, and one who can be trusted, I can assure you, but I have no experience in dealing with large transactions.

Are you promising me 30% of $12m? You're right: $3.6m isn't small change. I am in no danger of running away with the money, for I am an old man and have done running. What worries me though is if I can trust you at all. You say you have worked everything out, and it should all take 12 or 14 business days, yet you devote $600,000 for unforseen expenses. I understand the risk mitigation bit, but that's a lot you don't think you've forseen.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Tony Chan

September 13, 2010

Dear Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona,

Thank you very much for your response and your interest in this transaction, I am also glad to note that you are noble and trustworthy person whom I can rely on for his capabilities to handle this transaction. I am very pleased that I am dealing with somebody who understands the need for trust. At the same time, we have to be more open-minded and more trusting of each other since this whole transaction is based on trust in the first place I have every confidence in your choice as a partner, though I may have done this quite rightly on my instincts and assurance.

Like I said before, due to this issue on my hands now, it became necessary for me to seek your assistance; I appreciate the fact that you are ready to assist me in executing this project, and also to help me in investing my money in your country. You should not have anything to worry about. I will do everything legally required to ensure that the project goes smoothly, it shall pass through all Laws of International Banking

Having resolved to entrust this transaction into your hands, I want to remind you that, it needs your commitment and diligent follow up. If you work seriously, the entire transaction should be over in a couple of days.

I thank you for showing some great responsibility and trust. Please do not let me down it is better we have confidence in each other from the start than to have a breach in contract at the end of this transaction,at this juncture i will want to attempt to clarify you again so you can understand properly your role playing in this project,
.
We can not make use of your bank in your country because,this funds are huge and you know quite well that the world today is very conscious of huge funds transfer,this is why i have fashioned out that we make use of a private bank in New York that has the same telex transfer code with the originating bank and since the banking laws of the Us is relaxed i prefer we make use of this private bank in U.sa. for the sole purpose of our project.
Now your role here is to open an account with this bank in your name for the funds to be transfered into in your name and then we can now share the funds in the percentage we have agreed upon and also embark on the venture as Nina`s last wish,thus since opening an account with this offshore bank in Usa will deffinitely cost you some money which is your only financial obligation,it will be better we negotiate the percentage that you will agree to take from the funds so that we can have an agreement signed out to avoid any breach in contract on the long run.Please do take note that your perceantage will include the donation to any charity organization in your country also for the rebuilding of the earth quake victims.

I hope to have emphasised more on your role in this project,if i receive your reply soonest i will give you a call so we can discuss verberlly for a mutual understanding before i will begin with the process, i will also send to you all relative documents for your documentation. . I wish you well as i wait your very swift response.
Thanks & May the Stars Guide us In the Right Path,
Your Partner.
Mr Tony Chan C.

(click to enlarge)
Rabbi Ben Zona
September 16, 2010

Dear Tony,

You're certainly looking good for someone your age. What's your secret? Good wine? Fast women? Emailing random people?

I didn't realize that I was supposed to help you invest money in my country as well. I am a lowly clergyman who has no need for business ventures. My mass riches, inherited as part of the Ben Zona family fortune, is sitting in a very special place, as I do not trust banks or financial advisors, who are all out to "advise" me how to give them my money. Although I give plenty to charity every year, and my multitude of children, my legacies, have been set up for life, I have no real need for investments. There are also plenty of noble causes in this country to which to donate your money; if you care as much about children as I do, there's the Tel Aviv Tots Without Torsos Organization; if it's animals, there's the ever-popular Save the Mediterranean Penguin, a rapidly-disappearing colony if there ever was one, or if it's medical issues, there's also the Shekels for Shmeckles Campaign.

Of course there's the business ventures my children are involved with. My son Abdul Leib of owns the Dead Sea Salted Herring Company, maybe you've heard of it, he has the exclusive fishing rights to the Dead Sea and exports his fish which are already salted before they come out of the water, by the way, such brains my boy has. He's got the European market down and is trying to break into the ever-competitive Paraguayan market, if there ever was a country with an insatiable appetite for salted herring.

Does any of this interest you?

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Tony Chan

September 16, 2010

Dear Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona,

I received your email, and i resly do not understand what you mean by emailing people at randon.

However, i will not blame your doubt or skepticism expecialy torwards this transaction with the wide spread of con with different motives over the internet, one has to be very careful with Whom you are dealing with.

If you are very conversatnt with my situation, you will understand what i am going through, now we are in court over the eastate that has been Placed on hold over the years now, and the reason why i am bringing you in this is Simply Because of the fact that the deposit with Hang Seng Bank was not made known to any one but me on her dying days, so i need to have it moved out quietly with your aid, hence the case is still in court, are all eye on me , and if any transaction of that magnitude is been Carried out on my name, then it will raise flags and also investigation network, so my dear brother you have to worry about nohing as i have all necessary modalities in place with the banker in charge of the account.I was adviced not to respond to you by my attorney until the case was adjourned inother not to creat any suspicion hence the families of the deceased will do any thing to have me nailed or even hack into my email account to monitor my dealing over the internet, so you must keep this transaction very confidential until we finally have the funds moved out from China as i have fashioned out.

Furthermore, all that is required from you is simply to set up an account in your name with a hang seng bank of correspondence bank in U.S.A, therefore as soon as i get your complete details, i shall furnish you further with my plans on what i have fashioned out to have the funds moved out without hitch, ad also without red flags, please pardon my late response as i had to do this for my own safety, but now everything is calm now so i advice you return email as soon as you acknowledge so we can get started on time, from perception we should conclude this within 10 working days if you follow strictly with instructions.

Lastly, i will have to give me attorney the go ahead as soon as we both have an agreement and also adhear to your obligation, which requires you seting up the account with the correspondence private bank on line in Us, all other fees such as the attorney charges will be taken care of by me so this account issue you must handle from you end as i do not want to do this directly considering the nature and circumstances sorrounding this deal i am trying to be very careful hence i am closely monitored and i wil not jeorpadize my safety for any thing in this transaction.
I await your earliest response to enable us proceed as soon as we can.
Best Regards,
Mr Tony Chan C

Rabbi Ben Zona
September 20, 2010

Dear Tony,

Emailing people at random was just a throwaway line, but essentially that's what you've done with me, haven't you? I've seen a lot of cons on the Internet and by now I can spot them a mile away. It's about time I got a good, honest bloke like yourself who has some real money and is willing to share it with me. I consider myself fortunate.

If this case is before the courts, surely the bank will have put a freeze on the account, wouldn't they? I would think that moving money out of the account will raise more red flags, but then again, I'm not a banker, so I don't understand how these things work.

If I must open up a bank account, I could open up a Swiss account? They're used to dealing with large sums of money, and quite confidentially, too. Once you transfer it there, the courts will never be able to find it. My former personal assistant, Gina Comastia, is now an executive assistant at the Banc du Fromage, and I'm sure she can hook me up.

Let me know.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Tony Chan

September 20, 2010

Dear Dr Ben,

I am in receipt of your email, and its content is noted, However i also thought about and i surgested to the Banker in Hang Seng Bank with the aid of my attorney who introduced and he further surgested we make use of the swiss affiliated private Bank in Spain which also has same telex type as Hang Seng Bank, and with the use of the Bank in Spain no eye brows or red flags will be raised.
In the light of your email, I do advise that you should make contact with the bank as I have directed in my previous email to enable us know what it would cost you to have an online/offshore bank account opened in your name with bank. I would not be able to give you a correct detail of what the bank would require because each bank around the world differs with its own requirement in regards to identifications, utility bills and minimum account opening balance.

Do find below once more contact details to the bank for you to make contact with the bank requesting that you do want an offshore/ online bank account opened in your name.

Swiss & Grenfell Private Bank & Trust ES
Mrs.Luisa Vaquinhas (Online support account officer)
For Garret Kloos (Operations Manager)
Pl Vincente Iborra 5-6
46003, Valencia, Spain
Tel:+34-91-771-9454
Tel:+34-672-588-481
Voice:+34-677-790-353
Tel/Fax:+34-672-588-481
admin@jpgrenfell-bnknl.com
admins@jpgrenfell-bnknl.com

Please make contact with the bank to enable us know how we could have the bank account opened in your name to enable us conclude this project as agreed. So far we have been able to complete over 90 % of this transaction and we are about to go into the last and crucial stage of this transaction. With the aid of legal documents which the attorney has processed in your name that has placed you as the next of kin and true beneficiary of the funds, I am 100% certain that my banks management would grant an approval on your inheritance claims as soon as the attorney files in your application for the funds release and transfer to you via your nominated bank account, but above all we should both put our success more in prayers.

Actually the reason I decides to use the bank is of the same telex type as Hang Seng bank, hence any transfer between both banks would be seen as an in-house transfer, this will avoid the attention of certain financial bodies that have strict monetary policies, you have nothing to worry regarding this as

the authorities would simply believe this transfer to be a bank to bank affair and it would not raise eyebrows or trigger any red flags, it is necessary to take precautions on issues like this, and I have to ensure that our interest are protected in this transaction. I am a professional banker and I expect you to follow my instructions, for the success of this transaction. Please do make contact with the bank so that the account opening can be fast.

Let's work together in all honesty and trust and not forgetting the need for confidentiality. Did you receive the attached copy of my passport which I sent you in my previous email for your view and also for you to enhance your trust in me, please do keep it safe and never allow it fall into the hand of a wrong person.
Please apply for the account opening immediately.
I await your urgent response,
Thank you and God bless
My Warmest Regard
Mr Tony Chan C C

There is a Swiss Bank. There is a Morgan Grenfell Investment Trust.
There is not, as far as we can tell, a Swiss & Grenfell Private Bank & Trust ES.
The domain name lookup seems to be maintained by Google.
The web site does not come up.

Rabbi Ben Zona

September 20, 2010

To: Tony Chen
Cc: Gina Comastia (who doesn't make an appearance)

Dear Tony,

That's "Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona" to the likes of you bankers, thank you very much.

I know nothing of banks, but I would trust a Swiss bank in Zurich, a Swiss bank in Bern, a Swiss bank in Geneva. I don't trust a Swiss bank in Valencia, Spain.

Please meet the acquaintance of Gina Comastia, my former employee. Gina, this gentlemen needs to discreetly transfer some money out of his account into Switzerland. Can you please help us out?

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Tony Chan

September 20, 2010

Dear Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona,

I am in receipt of your email, and you should understand that this transaction already has its principles which must be followed to ensure a hitch free transfer.
It seems you did not read carefully my email, you will understand the need for a correspondence bank in Spain hence both banks are of the same telex type, this was fashioned out for our protection, therefore we must follow strictly the attorneys advice to achieve this.

As we all know china is a very diffcuilt country when it comes to huge funds, and considering the nature and circumstancs sorrounding this transaction there is need to follow trictly with instructions to enaable us achieve this mutual benefiting transaction.

A month ago the case between i an late Nina Wang family was dismissed by the court and was ruled in their favour so in all i lost all i spent to get attorney for the case that lasted almost 3 years, so the only money i am holding on to is the 12 million usd which was given to me by late Nina wang during her dying days and was not made public but strictly between the two of us, the below link will give you an insight.

http://www.thaindian.com/newsportal/world/tony-chans-claim-on-nina-wangs-property-has-been-dismissed_100314184.html

So my partner the use of the correspondce bank is the best way i have fashioned out to bring this transaction to a success,so in the light of my email i do urge you to make contact with the bank as this is the only way i have chosen to secure us from having problems with the government and slo drawing the attention of the late Nina Wangs Family.

In the light of your email, I do advise that you should make contact with the bank as I have directed in my previous email to enable us know what it would cost you to have an online/offshore bank account opened in your name with bank. I would not be able to give you a correct detail of what the bank would require because each bank around the world differs with its own requirement in regards to identifications, utility bills and minimum account opening balance.
Lastly i have informed the attorney about your surgestion, and he said there is no way the swiss Bank can be used,just to protect my intrest, and the intrest of others so if the account is not made use of then i am afriad we can not go further.
Thanks.
Tony Chan C C.

Rabbi Ben Zona
September 28, 2010

Dear Tony,

Understand completely, though I have since been in contact with young Gina. It was very nice to get in touch with her again, and I shall soon be departing for Zurich to complete some paperwork. Maybe it's due to my holeyness, but somehow she's convinced me to put about $50m of my hard earned inheritance in the Banc Du Fromage. Are you sure you don't want to deal with my bank? The Swiss are very trustworthy. I've also asked her about this bank of which you speak; she says she's never heard of the Swiss and Grenfell bank. Can you please shed some light on this?

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Tony Chan
September 28, 2010

Dear Dr,

I am in receipt of your email, and its content is noted.However i spoke to you about the need for absoulte confidentiality in this transaction as there is no need bringing in another party. Inotherwords, i have explained to you about the Bank in Spain which is a private bank with limited acess on the internet hence it has a strong privacy policy which does not allow non customers to get acess only intending customers, in the light of my email, i do surgest you communicate with the Bank with the details i have provided to you to get more details and also inquire what will be required to get an account with the Bank. Lastl,y, i would advice you act as i have instructed and communicate with the swiss Bank in Spain, and whatever the case may be do keep me informed to enable me advice you further as the case may be. I await your response. Regards, Mr Tony Chan C.
Rabbi Ben Zona
October 3, 2010 To: Tony Chan Cc: the bank

Tony,

I assure you that our Banc Du Fromage is every bit as reputable as your Swiss and Grenfell Bank. As a banker yourself, you are no doubt aware of the confidentiality accorded by the Swiss to banking transactions. I certainly would not consider a Swiss bank as a "third party" any more so than some so-called Spanish/Swiss conglomeration that no one has ever heard of that doesn't have any Internet presence because of its alleged private nature.

By way of carbon copy, you can see that I am contacting the bank:


Dear Reputable Spanish/Swiss Conglomerate Who Is So Private An Internet Presence Isn't Necessary For The Security Of Its Present Customers Wink-Wink,

Mr. Tony Chan of the Hang Seng Bank has instructed me to contact you regarding moving some funds out of his bank into yours so we can together take out the money and ride off into the sunset. No doubt there are astronomical bank fees for merely opening an account or outrageous attorney fees to provide some dubious documentation that hasn't gone through a spell checker? Please advise.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Tony Chan
October 3, 2010

Dear Dr,

I received your email with great disdain and dissappiontment, in as much as i have emphasized about the nature and circumstances sorrounding this transaction, you went ahead to mention my name before the Bank, i told you the reason why i required your partnership was for you stand as the front person to receive the funds without the presence of my name.

Dr i must say that this alone can get me into trouble and at the same time jeprpadize this transaction considering what is going on in China as regards the funds.The families of the late Nina Wang will do anything to find out what i am doing but you did dissappiont me by puting my name in the picture which is not surpposed.

I have informed the attorney of the blunder you made and he adviced i immediately dis regards communication with you if the mistake in not immediately corrected as i do not want to get into trouble.

Lastly, if you do not feel comfortable with the principles of this transaction as i have adviced with the use of the Spanish BANK, i advice we stop communication to enable me search for another partner as time is of great essence in this transaction.

Thanks. but no thanks.
Tony Chan.

Rabbi Ben Zona

October 5, 2010

To: Tony and Bank

Dear Bank,

It has been brought to my attention that in my missive to you yesterday that there was a small typographical error. Instead of the money belonging to "Tony Chan", I was actually referring to my friend and confidant Shlomo Leibowitz. Please disregard this oversight and advise how I can open an account with your fine, fine bank.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Rabbi Ben Zona

October 5, 2010

To: just Tony

Tony,

My sincere apologies. As you can see my previous email hopefully has rectified the situation.

Now then, what's this about an attorney? You tore a strip off of me citing that Gina Comastia is a third party, and here you go involving an attorney? Maybe I should have my attorney look at this to see if all the paperwork is in order?

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Mrs. Luisa Vaquinhas

October 5, 2010

To Whom It May Concern
Attn:Rabbi Ben Zona,

Thank you for requesting our private online offshore Banking services,we will appreciate you been our customer for private banking offering a level of client confidentiality, professionalism and reliability that remains unparalleled.

Thus,due to this headline and your request to holding a Diaspora Online Account with our Bank,the Account department will process your account in accordance with our responsibility,since this Bank will be opening/activating an online offshore Based operational account in your favor to enable you carry out your swift and secured online Banking services.

Our Terms and Condition:

It is better we Educate you on the Terms and Condition of our Private online offshore operations.

1.You will be entitled to enjoy the facilities on a residential account holder(Cheques,anonymous Atm Card or Debit Card)as well as loan facilities to enhance your business investment after 6months of your consistent Banking with us.

2.You will be required to activate an operational account with us with a minimum initial deposit which will be deposited in your operational account to satisfy your account and make it functional.

3.This Bank does not entertain cost of transfer hence it is a Zero COT and your deposit accrues interest after a period of 3months(Co-operate).Be advised that you will be allowed to enjoy these facilities With our Bank due to the fact that we are a private offshore Bank.

4.Your privacy is assured since our web/home page is secured and can only be accessed by our customers and not intending customers.

Advantages:

1).Strong privacy policy,bank secrecy,a principle born with the 1934 Swiss Banking Act.

2).Less restrictive legal regulation low or no taxation (i.e. tax havens)

3).Easy access to deposits also in terms of international monetary regulation.

4).Protection against local/international political or financial instability.

Send and receive secret bank wires .
Earn Tax Free Interest - in Euro, US Dollar or British Pounds.
Form Secret Offshore Companies -- Including Bearer Share Corporations.
Anonymous tax-free investments in stocks, bonds, commodities, options, forex, and futures.
Buy and Sell Gold and Silver.
Enjoy Instant Access to All Your Funds through the Bank Card network.
Do find below the type of accounts that are available to you in our Bank:

1.Diaspora Current Current Account:The initial deposit is Ű1,000.00,the maximum transaction possible within a month is Ű2,000,000.00.(Two Million Euros Only).

2.Diaspora Domicile Savings Account:The initial deposit is Ű6,000.00,the maximum transaction possible within a month is Ű5,000,000.00 (Five Million Euros) and above.

For your account to be processed and activated immediately, you are required to ascertain your understanding and acceptance of our terms and conditions of operation by indicating the choice of account that is suitable for you to hold with our Bank,and do fill out the attached account opening form and return with your valid ID document either a driverse license or a passport copy.

We will await your correspondence to enable us advice you accordingly on the necessary steps of completing your account opening and paying your initial deposit to enable your account functional.

Thanks for your understanding and co-operation as all of our professional Bankers are all on ground to provide you with an Excellent services.

Yours faithfully
Swiss & Grenfell Private Bank & Trust ES
Mrs.Luisa Vaquinhas (Online support account officer)
For Garret Kloos (Operations Manager)
Pl Vincente Iborra 5-6
46003, Valencia, Spain
Tel:+34-672-588-481
Voice:+34-677-790-353
Tel/Fax:+34-672-588-481
Email:admin@jpgrenfell-bnknl .com

(and he/she attached 3 files; one which was ripped off a site explaining how to open a bank account in Andorra, some standard Terms and Conditions document referencing the laws of New Zealand, and the last one a much more passable than the standard Nigerian ones (but still craptacular nonetheless) application to open an new account)

Tony Chan
October 5, 2010

Dear Dr,

For your information, the attorney has been with me all through with the case with the families of the Late Nina Wang, till daye so he has been aware of the situation so the issue of my attorney should not be overemphasized.,

Therefore, like i have informed you we need to take treat this transaction very confidential therefore i advice you communicaye with the BANK to know what it will take to get an account in your name so we can put heads together to see how we can achieve this.

Please communicate with the Bank and keep me informed.

Thanks.

Tony Chan C
Rabbi Ben Zona

October 11, 2010

To: Luisa Vaquinhas/Garret Kloos (the bank)

To whom it may concern/Mrs. Vaquinhas/Mr. Kloos,

Thank you for sending the paperwork through. I had a very close look at your terms and conditions of operations, and I have several questions for you. Are you the right person to be discussing this with, or should I be speaking to someone on your legal team?

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Rabbi Ben Zona
October 11, 2010

Dear Tony,

I have communicated with the bank and they have sent me the requisite paperwork. I've had a very detailed read of the bank's terms and conditions, and I have to rectify those issues before I open an account. I'll let you know how I go.

Hope the refugee camp is treating you and your family well.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Tony Chan
October 11, 2010

Dear Dr,

I am in receipt of your emai, and its content is noted.However i am fins but the only pressing issue is the account as i realy want us to have this issue resolved as the case may be.

In the llight of my email, i do urge you to kindly do every thing humanly possible to have the account issue resolved as my attorney has urged that we get the account set up before the end of tis week and, and please if you know that this can not be achieved before the end of this week do keep me iformed before the end of this week as time is of great essence in this transaction.

I await your earliest response.

Best Regards.

Mr Tony Chan C C.

(I've just noticed that his emails are taking on a more decidedly African tone. More spelling mistakes, and the "and its content is noted". All he's missing is the "Compliments of the Day/Season and how is your family?" Sure enough, a search for the IP on this one comes up as Johannesburg.)

Rabbi Ben Zona

October 13, 2010

Dear Tony,

I can only operate as fast as the bank. I have yet to hear from them, but will notify you of any recent developments.

Who knows, maybe this email will trigger the bank to respond, wink wink.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Tony Chan

October 13, 2010

Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona,

I am in receipt of your email, and in the light of my email, you should understand that time is of great essence in this transaction, and and i can not be waiting for you all along hence time is of great essence in this transaction inotherwords i will advice yu send the Bank a reminder email and get the account set up.

I will wait to get response from you and please ensure swift response as soon as you receive my email and act as i have adviced.

Regards,

Mr Tony Chan.
Rabbi Ben Zona
October 14, 2010

Tony,

Understand completely, but there's only so much I can do while the bank is holding all the cards. I will send a reminder email to them shortly. For the ridiculous bank fees that they charge you'd think they'd offer some modicum of customer service? Do you see why I don't trust banks? You're better off withdrawing the whole lot as soon as you can.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Tony Chan
October 14, 2010

Dear Dr,

I have given you my word, and it is my Bond, the reason why we are doing this is for our safety, therefore like i said the transaction already has layed down principles which must be followed to ensure a hitch free transfer.

Please kindly act as i have adviced and get back to me as soon as you hear from them and have the account activated as i presume that is what is holding back this transaction.

I await your response.

Regards,
Mr Tony Chan C

Mrs. Luisa Vaquinhas

October 15, 2010

To Whom It May Concern
Attn:Rabbi Ben Zona,

You could refer all your account set-up relating questions to me directly.

Yours faithfully
Swiss & Grenfell Private Bank & Trust ES
Mrs.Luisa Vaquinhas (Online support account officer)
For
Garret Kloos (Operations Manager)
Email:admin@jpgrenfell-bnknl.com

Rabbi Ben Zona

October 19, 2010

Dear Tony C,

The Swiss bank in Spain has finally "remembered" to write me back. I will inform you of progress in due course.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Rabbi Ben Zona

October 19, 2010

To: bank

Dear Luisa,

It's not so much of an account set up issue, but more of a legal issue with your terms and conditions. Are you sure a woman in your position at the bank is capable of handling legal questions? Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

(the most obvious being why I would be subject to the legal jurisdiction of New Zealand)

Tony Chan
October 19, 2010 From: Tony

Dear Dr,

You should know that i do not have much time to waste, and be aware that if i do not get an account from the swiss Bank in Spain before thursday, then i advice you do not contact me anymore to enable me concerntrate on geting another partner whom will do this with me for our safety.

Thanks.

Tony Chan.

Rabbi Ben Zona
October 19, 2010

Tony,

I wrote the bank with my concerns not 15 minutes ago, and have not received a response. I refuse to open up any account and entrust my hard-earned inheritance with a bank when I could lose my money in legalities due to inadequate terms and conditions presented by your elected financial institution.

I also remind you that it is you that approached me for my assistance, not the other way around. Do you understand how much money is currently at my disposal? In four words, I don't need you. I instead opted to help you in your predicament as a mitzvah to yourself and the wider community, certainly not primarily as personal financial gain. I understand that speed is of the essence but if you insist on imposing ridiculous deadlines when I am asking the bank some legitimate questions before opening up an account, you are either irresponsible (which I don't believe) or disproportionately impatient (which I do) to execute these kinds of modalities, and certainly do not gain to benefit from any assistance I am proposing to offer.

I'd rethink my strategy in your correspondence with me if I were you. Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

(and then nothing for a few weeks)

Rabbi Ben Zona
November 15, 2010 To: Tony

Tony,

Where have we left this? By the way, thanks for tweaking me onto the Swiss bank account system. I'm gaining enormous interest in my new Miser Maximiser account. Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas
Tony Chan
November 15, 2010

Dear Dr,

I am in receipt of your email, and i do not know what you are talking about, and in the light of truth i am already at the verge of completting modalities with another partner who has agreed to do this with me.

Thanks.

Tony.

Rabbi Ben Zona
November 16, 2010

Dear Tony,

Does this mean you won't be sharing any of your fictitious wealth with me? Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas
Tony Chan
November 16, 2010

Dear Dr,

Why should i? when ytou are not a part taker.

Tony.
Rabbi Ben Zona
November 22, 2010

Tony,

What are you talking about? I have played a part in this for 3 months now, double entendre completely intended, but then again, so have you, haven't you? Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas
Tony Chan
November 22, 2010

Dear Dr,

If you are willing to participate in this transaction, without much conversation i advice you provice me with an account from the Bank in Spain and after then we can move ahead.

Thanks.

Tony Chan.

Rabbi Ben Zona
November 30, 2010

Tony,

I have tried, but your poor excuse for a Swiss bank in Spain never got back to me with the required information. I mean I've got all this money to help out but I wouldn't want your new partner to be left out in the cold. Why don't we keep him in as part of the deal and I can finance the whole thing? Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas
Tony Chan
November 30, 2010

Dear Dr,

Without talking too much, why not communicate with the Bank and have the account set up in your name. The Partner i found is also not capable of handling this transaction hence he said he can not take custody of the amount.

Thanks.

Tony Chan.

Rabbi Ben Zona
December 16, 2010

Tony,

You see why I've never used banks up to now? You'd think they want you as a customer, but all the correspondence has dried up from them. Why should the onus be on me to contact them? I swear, there has to be another way. Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas
Rabbi Ben Zona

(then nothing... One last try, two months later.)

February 14, 2011

Hello Tony,

Thought I'd check in with you after this long while, as these modalities seem to have been left rather unfinished. Are you still stuck with this money? Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

... but after six months, "Tony" had skulked away...

 

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