CIRCUMSPECTION

UPDATE MARCH 2009: Bloody hell, this one took a while to end. I think "you're bastard ok goodbye forever" or some such invective has finally sealed it. It had been a fun 13 months, though.


Ben Zona (now retired) has appeared in such as adventures as IF THE FALAFEL LOOK LIKE GOLD) and FAMILY PLOT. One day he received a strange e-mail from the gender-fluid Miss William Larry, who later died and was replaced by her son Samuel.

This is a complicated one - the cast, real and imaginary, outpaced Scamorama's ability to present them properly - but it's worth careful reading. Over the course of more than a year, Samuel enlisted the help of at least three different 'closers', underwent Bible examinations at the hands of an imaginary Israeli immigration official, and became convinced he was competing with another scammer (which makes for interesting reading). Finally, Samuel gave up, disgusted at the low nature of his intended victim.

"Mentioned this in my sermon this past Shabbos. My congregants had a good laugh.
Little Shayndl, though, was left frustrated.

Regards,
Dr Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Rodef Bubbameissah"


CAST

The Bad Guys
Miss William Larry - ailing mother
Samuel - son, aka William Samuel, aka Larry Williams, aka Alexander
Linda Williams - secretary, Pyramid trust Services Inc.
Dr. Chiko Kone - comptroller, Pyramid trust Services Inc.
brought in to help after a long break (update 2009):
Don Clark Edward - either his name is Don, or the Lads watch too many mafia movies
Mohammed Hamza - another barrister Lad brought in as a closer, appears only by mention
Amos Chinedu - someone who's supposed to pick up the money

The Good Guys
Rabbi Ben Zona, leader of a congregation, father of 27 and a man who knows something about circumcision
Shayndl, his (unmarried) daughter
Barrister Owata Dikedjua, Ben Zona's legal counsel, who is possibly trying to scam Ben Zona as well - or is he?
and bringing up the rear
Zayin Kattan - Ben Zona's friend and confidant; a pubic servant in the Interior Ministry
M. Belanger - imaginary Ivorien lawyer, appears by mention

[Classic scam elements are highlighted for the benefit of the scam-o-challenged.]


Miss William Larry

[Couldn't get an IP address for this one. All (other) IP addresses are from AVISONET in Cote D'Ivoire.]

Feb 21, 2008

Dearest In Christ,
Greetings of peace to you from me. I am miss william larry , a nationality of Rwanda . I got your contact from a christian website when i was sarching for whom to help my son and i, your esteem recomendation apear to me as a trust worthy person from your profiles on the site where i got your contact from,I decided to write you this letter.

I got married to late Mr. larry edward who worked with Rwandian embassy in Cote d'Ivoire for nine years before he died in the year Octorber 2004. We were married for twenty years with a child who is now in a bible school, I will want you to take my son (Samuel) as your own son and take a very good care of him as soon as the money is released to you by the consignment.

Before my husband's death we were both born again Christians. When my late husband was alive we deposited the sum of seven million five hundred thousand U.S. dollars which he acquired from gold field he inherited from his late father" in a Security Company here for foreign establsiment project,but unfortunately he did not realise project before his death.

Presently, this money is still with the Security Company in a matalic box. Recently my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next three months due to my cancer problem. Though what disturbs me most is my stroke. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to churches or better still a Christian individual that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct here in.

I want a person or church that will use this fund to churches, orphanages, research centres and widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained. The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I have and my late husband decided to use some of the money to work for God and my husband«s relatives are not Christians and I don«t want my family hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers. I don«t want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner. Hence the reason for taking this bold decision.

I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going to. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I do not want any telephone communication in this regard because of my health and because my late husband's family relatives are always around me and this could be dangerouse to me and my son's live if they know about the money. I don«t want any of my husband family relatives to recieve this money. With God all things are possible.
As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Security Company where the money is, so that they will tell you the procedures to transfer the box that contains the money to your country. I want you and the churches to always pray for me because the lord is my shepherd. My happiness is that I live a life of a worthy Christian.I shall also personally introduce you to the Security Company management as the rightful beneficiary to the Matalic box in their custody for transfer process in your name.

Whoever that wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life.

Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing for a church or Christian individual for this same purpose. Please assure me that you will act accordingly as I stated here.

Expecting to hearing from you soonest. Remain blessed in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.

mis swilliam

[Your basic Cancer Letter. But you knew that.]

Rabbi Ben Zona
Feb 21 2008

Dear Miss Larry,

I'm interested to know how my name got on a Christian website, but no matter.

I would love to offer assistance. I am not Christian, but I do know the Bible. Is this a problem?

Sincerely,
Dr Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Rodef Bubbameissah

("Ben Zona" is Hebrew for "son of a prostitute" and is alternately a profanity and slang for something really really great. "Rodef Bubbameissah" is Hebrew/Yiddish meaning loosely "chaser of tall tales".)

Miss William Larry
Received: from [41.207.215.227]
Date: Thu, 28 Feb 2008
Subject: Assistance from the grace

Dear Dr Rabbi,

How are you,

I have received your reply, God bless you for your urgent response to my proposal. The content of your reply is noted, I will like you encourage you that my main purpose to donate this fund to you is TO assist unable men and orphans in your town, I cannot withdraw my step because you are not a Christian, such is against my faith. I will pray that God will lift you a you have desired to do this service, but please note that there is no discrimination in this offering in this donation, my interest is to make sure that this fund is chained in any thing thank will give glory to God.

I will like to give you the contact information of the security company where my late husband deposited the fund here in Abidjan- Cote d'Ivoire, you will contact the director of the security company and explain to him that you are my family partner and you want to retieve the box to your door step in your country, I will try my best today to inform the director of the security company that you are going to contact them concerning the procedure to transfer the box to your custody in your country.

With my instruction, the company will kindly ship the consignment to your door step in your country. Please I need your telephone number and your address, I am expecting your personal data in your next mail.

I am awaiting to hear from you.

Sincerely,

Mrs Larry

(I don't know how many lads are involved. It seems that every message has a new IP address, type face, and unique writing style.)

Rabbi Ben Zona
Mar 2, 2008

B"H

My dear Mrs. Larry,

It is in the nature of my profession that attracted me to your proposal to begin with. I do much charitable work in the community here that crosses all boundaries. For example, there's my very successful Tots Without Torsos campaign, and fortunately, thanks to my efforts many of them are able to get a head in life. I imagine a lot of this money would be earmarked though for Congregation Rodef Bubbameissah - they just love a good story.

I'm not sure I'm all that keen in getting a consignment of what I understand from your messages as a box full of cash. Just how much money are we talking here? I deal with thousands of dollars daily, and I don't think that I've ever made a cash transaction. You've obviously got email over in the Ivory Coast ; surely you have Internet banking? I'd also bet that there are some legal issues involved.

Now, as for the matter of Samuel, I of course am happy to take him in, but I'm afraid that as a born again Christian he might feel a little left out around the Shabbas table. My intention would be start a proper Jewish conversion. I hope this is OK with you. Is he circumcised? That would be a start. His Bible school will do him well to begin with; but of course as with all my children he would be required to do a more rigorous Talmudic education. We'll look after him well after your death, don't you worry. My wife Chaya Mushka is a wonderful mother to our 27 children.

One thing that bothers me about this, and please forgive me if I'm way off base here, but could I possibly get some identification? I mean, I accept money from a lot of anonymous donours, but I've yet to take in someone's son.

Sincerely,
Dr Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Rodef Bubbameissah

(The B"H at the beginning is a common opening of letters from religious Jews, basically an abbreviation for "baruch hashem", or "please G-d". Nod to Corky and the Juice Pigs for the Tots Without Torsos reference. "Shabbas" = Sabbath.)

Miss William Larry
Received: from [196.201.89.149]
Date: Tue, 4 Mar 2008
From: Williams Larry <william_larry01@yahoo.fr>
Subject: Assistance from the grace

Dear Dr Rabbi,

I am very grateful with the contents of your response, I'm also very glad to hear that you do much charitable service in your community, such is rewardable by God. I have confidence in you to donate this fund to you.

I have to inform you that we are talking about the of sum seven million five hundred thousand U.S. dollars (7.5m$) and the fund is deposited in one of the known bank here in Abidjan-Ivory Coast , I will give you the contact details of the bank and the name of the manager to contact.

You shall inform the bank manager that you're my family partner and you want him to wire the fund to your bank account in your country, with my instruction, the bank manager will transfer the fund to your bank immediately.

Surely, I don't have internet banking, but that is not a problem, the remittance department of the bank will wire the fund to your bank account as soon as you contact them.

For the case of my son Samuel, really he is circumcied according to the law of Christian religion, but that will not be a problem hence you want to assist him, I believe that my son Samuel will not feel left away arround you because he has Islamic friends arround him here in Ivory Coast. I will be happy if you will welcome my son in your home and let your family see my son as one of your family member.

Please I want to know the kind of identification you need from me, I will give it to you as I am giving you the contact information of the bank in my next mail.

In addition, I want you to send me your personal data and your telephone contact as you're repling me this mail. Please send m your tel. Samuel wants to call you.

I am waiting to hear from you.

Sincerely,
Mrs William

(Circumcised according to Christianity? I don't think so. Love the Islamic bit too - obviously not too many rabbis in West Africa .)

Rabbi Ben Zona
Mar 4, 2008

B"H

My dear Mrs. Larry, or is it Mrs. William, or is it Mrs. Williams,

It's always nice to correspond with a fine, charitable woman such as yourself. Thank you for your correspondence thus far.

Please don't take this the wrong way, as I have the utmost respect for a fellow pious person as you seem to be. I don't mean any offence, but as a "man of the cloth" so to speak, I know my fair share about certain religions. I don't know much about Animism or the obscure tribal religions of the world, but if there's one thing I'm polished up on, it's Christianity. I have many Christian friends, fine people all. In fact, one of my closest friends, Troy Glaus, became a Cardinal very recently.

And you do say that Samuel has been circumcised according to the Christian religion. My dear Mrs. Larry/William/Williams - what is your surname, anyway? - if Christians were mandated to be circumcised, my people would have had a much easier time over the last 2000 years. How did Samuel come to be circumcised?

I also hope what I'm about to say isn't a deal-breaker. The term "Rabbi" is a title for a Jewish religious leader. Although we have close ties with members of our Moslem brothers, Samuel will find little solace in knowing the difference between shahadah and sadaqah.

As far as identification goes, well, something with the correct spelling of your name at the very least is a good start. If I'm to be your "family partner", I will need a letter from your doctor as well detailing the full extent of your illness and your prognosis.

I'm sure once we get this religious stuff out of the way, we can let the mullah come rolling in.

Sincerely,
Dr Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Rodef Bubbameissah

(Troy Glaus did indeed become a Cardinal - a St. Louis Cardinal.)

Miss William Larry
Received: from [196.201.65.65]
Date: Mon, 10 Mar 2008
From: Williams Larry <william_larry01@yahoo.fr>
Subject: Please try to contact the security company.

Hello my dear Ben Zona ,

I am very much happy as to receive your mal as I am in the hope that you are in good health, my dear I am sorry as well regarding the mistake of the email address, larry is a name of one of my son that I loves so much although I lost him, so I use his name to open the email address.

Now I want you to go ahead and contact the security company where the box was deposited by my late husband as I have earlier explain to you, please do this as I am still at the hospital and don't know when will I die as I have earlier informed you please as soon as the security company release the consignment box to you kindly make sure that you come down here and pick my son Samuel with you make sure that you use the money for charity mission as I have earlier told you, so I am drafting you a message which you will copy and feel your information and send to the security company so that they will reply you back without delay. Below is the drafted message, once again I want you to know that the security company does not know that the real contents of the box are money so try to keep it with you alone. Below is the drafted message copy and feel your information before sending it to the company.

TO PYRAMID TRUST SERVICES INC.
Dear Mr Chico KONE,

My name is ----------- and I am a resident of ---------.
I am writing to request for the transfer of my friend's consignment to me as she will be joining me here in my country very soon. I believe you have spoken to her in the past, her name is: MRS WILLIAM AND HER SON SAMUEL WILLIAM.

She has mailed me a copy of the deposit certificate and these are the details of the consignment ref:
CONSIGNMENT REFERENCE NUMBER: TAS/RHB-LM208695000 COB
SECURITY CODE:M6JACE-1-TRA5MU
If for any reason you need to contact me I can be reached at:
My Contact Information :
MY PHONE NUMBER IS :
FAX NUMBER IS :
MY Postal ADDRESS :
Please advise me how the consignment will be transferred safely to me and what your company will required as to transfer the consignment to me without any customs or police interference to my address above.
I look forward to hear from you at your earliest convenience.

Regards,
Mr---------------


So my dear Ben Zona the above mail is the mail which I will like you to send to the security company today, so that they will get back to you so urgently, also do not disclosed to the security company the real contents of the box, because my late husband did registered it as a FAMILY VALUABLE/TRESURE EFFECT not as money so do not let them to know that is money. also when sending this mail to the security company please try to include your name and all your contact information's, here again is there email address
( pyramidtrustservicesinc@yahoo.com ) Tel.+22504493106

I will be stopping here until I hear from you soon.
Yours Sincerely
Mrs William.

(Now who is this fine looking thing? At least I know where the pic came from: I Googled the file name and found the picture from the first link. Love that "her name is: MRS. WILLIAM AND HER SON SAMUEL WILLAM" bit.)

Rabbi Ben Zona
Date: Tue, 11 Mar 2008
Subject: answer my questions, first

B"H

Hello, Mrs. William or Mrs. Williams,

How lovely to hear from you again. You wouldn't understand if I told you how much I look forward to your missives.

Who is the lady in the picture? Is this you? I'm so sorry about your ex-son, Larry. Your son and husband were both named Larry? How many sons do you have?

So sorry to hear that you're still in the hospital. I will say a special misheberach (prayer for the sick) for you in shul on Shabbat under the name of Shakranis bas Tipshiyah.

However, although the Talmud states: "Doubt cannot override a certainty", I fail to see any certainties. Before I contact the security company, you must address the following:

1. The age of Samuel.
2. The auspices under which Samuel became circumcised..
3. Your full name. I'm very confused as to whether you're a singular or a plural, as you're signature and your email name don't match.
4. A letter from your oncologist detailing the full extent of your illness and prognosis.

As stated previously, once my concerns are assuaged I'm sure you'll be rewarded with exactly what you deserve.

Sincerely,
Dr Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Rodef Bubbameissah

(A "misheberach" is a prayer for the sick, said in "shul" (synagogue). The name translates to "Liar, daughter of Moron ".

Rabbi Ben Zona
Mar 16, 2008

B"H

Hello, Mrs. William(s),

When someone is terminally ill and I don't hear from them for a week, I tend to get worried.

I do hope that everything is OK. I look forward to hearing from you.

Sincerely,
Dr Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Rodef Bubbameissah
Miss William Larry

(another typeface, another IP address...)

Received: from [213.136.119.240]
Date: Tue, 18 Mar 2008

dear mr.ben please all i need from you is help now i want you to go ahead and contact the security company where the box was deposited by my late husband..i thank you for your mail I will be stopping here until i hear from you soo.

Yours SincerelyMrs William.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Mar 18, 2008

B"H

Hello, Mrs. William:

What a relief to hear from you! I was expecting the worst, so I'm very glad to hear that you're OK. Are you still in hospital?

I'm a fairly good judge of character, and to me you seem like an honest, brave woman, and a good mother to Samuel. I must ask of you, though, to put yourself in my shoes. After seeing my name on a Christian website (which one, if I may ask?), out of the blue, someone from Africa contacts me asking me to distribute her money. I have no proof that the money exists, any identification from you, aside from a picture of a woman in her mid-20s, nor a single answer to my simple questions below. Scroll down on this message: you can still see them if you don't remember.

I will be frank with you. As I mentioned in a previous correspondence, I've got a good number of children, so I'm quite used to being ignored. It doesn't necessarily mean I like it, especially when there's a great deal of money involved here. The way I see it, is that the ball in completely in your court; it's not my money yet to distribute, and you're the one that doesn't have long to go. It really is then in your best interest to answer what I need. At the very very least, please get me that doctor's note, and I'm willing to proceed.

I'm happy to contact the security company, but please know that I am unwilling to fully proceed with this matter until I get some of the simple facts down.

Can I also get Samuel's email address? I would like to contact him so I can get to know the boy a little better.

(ooooh... that doctor's note would make a fine trophy)

Rabbi Ben Zona
Date: Mon, 17 Mar 2008
Subject: consignment, attn: Chico Kone

Dear Mr Chico Kone,

My name is Dr Rabbi Ben Zona, and I am a resident of Israel .

I'm writing to request for the transfer of my friend's consignment to me as her son will be joining me here very soon. I believe you have spoken to her in the past; her name is Mrs. William.

The consignment reference is: TAS/RHB-LM208695000 COB with the security code of M6JACE-1-TRA5MU.

If for any reason you need to contact me, I can be reached at this email address.

Please advise me how the consignment will be transferred safely to me, and what your company will require as to the transfer of the consignment to me.

I look forward to hear from you at your earliest convenience.

Sincerely,
Dr Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Rodef Bubbameissah
Rabbi Ben Zona
Mar 18, 2008

B"H

Dear Mrs William,

I contacted the security company, although I took some liberties with the text of the message. The 9th commandment, as I'm sure you know, is about not being a false witness, which in any circumstance I will not break, certainly not for someone from whom I've received no identification.
Ms. Linda Williams
Received: from [41.207.29.52]
Date: Tue, 18 Mar 2008
From: "Pyramid trust Services Inc." <pyramidtrustservicesinc@yahoo.com>
Subject: FROM PYRAMID TRUST SERVICES INC

Attention to: Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona:

Ref:/TAS/RHB-LM 208695000COB.

Many thanks for your sent mail in which we have well noted down.

Your partner Mrs William Did approach our office since few days ago confirming your mail to our company, As a matter of fact, the PYRAMID TRUST SERVICES INC. offers you the best security services, we have a modus of operand which makes us to be among the leading and most successfully security firms in the sub-continent.

Note that the above referenced consignment will be transfer to you in your country, through special Diplomatic courier services, of the (PTS)-Diplomatic Corps, in respect of the Diplomatic immunity.

While you are advised to Re-confirm your full address for cross-checking and also forward us your ID CARD copy so that our Diplomat will use it to know who you are before handling over the consignment to you, Before proceeding for the delivering of the consignment to your country, A CERTIFICATE OF CHANGE OF OWNERSHIP will be obtain in your name so as to enable you to be the rightful beneficiary of the consignment as the DIPLOMAT will not hand over the consignment to you without your name be change as a rightful beneficiary of the consignment. So this CERTIFICATE OF CHANGE OF OWNERSHIP will be issued to you through our company LAWYER and will also neutralize in the Ministry of justice here in ABIDJAN , so to obtain this CERTIFICATE OF CHANGE OF OWNERSHIP in your name will cost you (€550. Euros) once again, as soon as we obtain this CERTIFICATE we will immediately send over to you through attachment or by fax before the DIPLOMAT will take off for the delivering of the said consignment. Furthermore, including the FREIGHT COST of the consignment down to your country, along with INSURANCE FEE, which is (€1150, Euros) together with the freight cost. You are advised to make this payment through MONEY GRAM TRANSFER or WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER, as it is much faster and convenient to us.

Send to Dr. Chico Kone, (MD),
AVENUE 10 RUE 8 TREICHVILLE
ABIDJAN COTE'IVOIRE WEST AFRICA

Call or email this office on the control number. We can as well provide our bank account detail information, at your request.

But it will take us 48 hrs (working hrs) to complete this transfer to your country. If seek further operational detailed clarification, you can call our office to speak to our Controller General/Chief Executive Officer, Dr. Chico Kone, Tel, direct == +225 04493106 .

While we look forward to hearing from you and serving you again, please accept the heart-felt complement of the management and staff of the PYRAMID TRUST SERVICES INC.

Thanks,
Very truly yours,
Ms. Linda Williams, ( COMPANY SECRETARY).

(I knew it, and that explains all the IP addresses - it's the extended Williams family trying to bilk me of my Euros.)

Rabbi Ben Zona
Mar 19, 2008

B"H

Dear Mrs. Williams:

Thank you kindly for your letter. I will retain this and get back to you once I hear back from my friend.
Ms. Linda Williams
Received: from [41.207.15.221]
Date: Tue, 18 Mar 2008
From: "Pyramid trust Services Inc." <pyramidtrustservicesinc@yahoo.com>
Subject: FROM PYRAMID TRUST SERVICES INC.

Attention to: Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona:

Ref:/TAS/RHB-LM 208695000COB.

We are in receipt of your prompt reply, this is to inform you that as soon as we are in receipt of the payment from you, we will urgently commence further in deliver the consignment box down to your country without any delay.

We look forward to hearing from you and serving you again, please accept the heart-felt complement of the management and staff of the PYRAMID TRUST SERVICES INC.

Thanks,
Very truly yours,
Ms. Linda Williams, ( COMPANY SECRETARY).
Samuel

[Enter the 'son' !]

Received: from [213.136.119.240]
Date: Tue, 18 Mar 2008
From: Williams Larry <william_larry01@yahoo.fr>
Subject: I AM HAPPEA TO HERE

I THANK YOU FOR THIS.
IF YOU HAVE CONTACT THE SECURITY COMPANY.PLEASE SEND THE INFORMATION TO ME.THIS IS SAMUEL CONTACT..45668302
Rabbi Ben Zona
Mar 21, 2008

B"H

Hello, Shmuli! How nice to hear from you. Are you enjoying Bible school? Make your "old man" proud. My wife, Chaya Mushka and your future brothers and sisters can't wait to meet you. None of them have even met someone from your part of the world. It's all very exciting! Please send me a picture! I don't even know how old you are because your mother hasn't answered me yet.

I've got a bit of an odd request. You may or may not know, but in our religion prescribes all males to be circumcised. Your mother did tell us that you were circumcised according to your custom. Respectfully, could you perhaps send me a picture of your circumcision job? If it isn't sufficient, it's not really a big deal; either way we would only need to draw a small, ritual amount of blood. To make necessary arrangements on our end, I would need to know what I'm dealing with. Don't worry: I'm a qualified "mohel" (qualified to performs circumcisions).

Do you have any questions for us?

Sincerely,
Dr Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Rodef Bubbameissah p.s. Little Shayndl has a question for you: What language do you speak? (She's very good with languages..)

(But a picture of a circumcision? Now *that* would be a trophy.)

Samuel
Received: from [41.207.15.221] (same IP as the message from the security company)
Date: Sat, 22 Mar 2008
From: Williams Larry <william_larry01@yahoo.fr>
Subject: Please reply urgent

Hi my dearest Rabbi Ben Zona,

I am very much happy as to receive your mail,

My dear really I am circumcised but I don't have the picture with me also my mother don't have it as well, but I have my ordinary picture if you need I will urgently send it to you without any delay, also I want you to know that my mother's illness is getting out of hand so try as much as you can to conclude this matter so that I will start coming to meet with you, according to doctor he said that my mother will soon die so I am praying for this transaction to be over so that I will start coming to meet with you, please could you tell me how you have gone with the security company as I am worried top hear from you about that.

I will send my pictures on my next mail to you also send yours with your family as well

Yours sincerely
Samuel
Rabbi Ben Zona
Mar 23, 2008

B"H

Hello Shmuli! I'm interested to know what you know about my religion. What do they teach you at Bible school?

I don't so much need your "ordinary" picture so much as some proof indicating that you are who you really are: I'm looking for a picture of your circumcision, not a head shot. If as you say you don't have the picture with you, by all means go and get it. Circumcisions are done according to strict laws and I need to make sure that yours was done properly lest I save you from unnecessary pain and hardship after you arrive.

I asked a few simple questions of your mother; I can understand that she would have trouble contacting me because of her illness. We are talking about quite a lot of money here and there's a lot at stake as far as me taking you into my home. How old are you?

Can you please get a doctor's note for me outlining your mother's condition and prognosis?

Nevertheless, the troubling part about the relationship I have with the William family is that neither you nor your mother have yet answered a single one of my questions. I don't even know your mother's first name. Part of my job is to act as a grief counsellor for my congregants and I do a lot of work in palliative care units, so I'm aware that your mind (not to mention your mother's) is probably quite scattered because of your mother. I have indeed contacted the security company, but have indicated to them and to your mother that I'm not willing to continue this transaction without some of my fundamental questions answered first.
Samuel
Received: from [41.207.15.221]
Date: Mon, 24 Mar 2008
Subject: Please reply urgent

Dear Ben,

I am very much happy as to receive your mail as I am in the hope that you are in good health.

Dear Sir, I want you to know that the illness of my mother is getting too bad at the moment also I want you to do what ever at our power as to help me very quickly and urgent.

regarding your question, I speak English and French but can't write French very well, again i have told my mother's doctor about your request. also I am 22 years old.

Aagain I have told you that I don't have the picture of my circumcision, my mother said that when they circumcide me that they did not took picture of it so there is no way for me to have the picture of it since they did not took any picture during that period.

Again I want you to please help me and pay the money the security company requested from you so that they will urgently proceed further to deliver the box to you.

Dear Sir, I will be stopping here until I hear from you soon
Yours sincerely
Samuel
Samuel

(And, two minutes later...)

Received: from [41.207.15.221]
Date: Mon, 24 Mar 2008

Dear Ben,

Again my mother's name full name is Anne William also my dad full name is Larry William, so what ever you don't understand please tell me so that I will explain it to you also I want you to know that my mother illness is getting worster and worster every day so I need your help

Samuel
Rabbi Ben Zona
Mar 25, 2008

B"H

Hi, Shmuli!

I wouldn't expect you to keep a picture of your circumcision lying around. We don't really take pictures of circumcisions right after it happens. The proud parents, yes - I have pictures at all 14 of my boys' circumcisions - and of course the extended family and friends, but it's considered bad form to take pictures of the actual surgery. It's pretty gory, as you can imagine.

What I'm after is a picture of you, as you look today, with the visual proof that you are who you are and you had done what you say you had done.

Looking forward to seeing the doctor's letter now as well so we can get underway with the security company.

Shmuli, you're a bright lad, doing well in Bible school. You do understand this old man's predicament?

Sincerely,
Dr Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Rodef Bubbameissah

p.s. Shayndl is so pleased you speak French! She's learning it at school, and hopes that you two can converse in French once you get over here.
Shayndl

[Two can play this game. Ben Zona wheels out his daughter.]

Mar 25, 2008

Bonjour, Samuel. C'est moi, Shayndl. Je suis 12 ans et j'etudie le francais a mon ecole. Mon francais n'est-ce pas tres bien, et ma grammaire est mauvais, pour c'est je m'excuse, Je veux practiquer avec vous. J'espere que c'est ok avec vous que je le fais?

C'est tres merveilleux que vous voulez arriver et habiter avec nous dans notre grande famille.

Papa aussi nous disait de ta mere. Je suis tres desole pour vous et tout le monde ici vous prendre et esperer que tout y a trop bon.

Ta soeur,
Shayndl

(Basic standard introductory French fare from a 12-year-old girl: my grammar is poor, I'd like to practice my French with you, it's great you're moving in with us, so sorry for your situation there, yada yada yada. My French is pretty poor anyway so apologies to the Francophones and une grande salute pour les bonnes hommes a Babelfish!)

Samuel
Received: from [41.207.15.221]
Date: Tue, 25 Mar 2008
From: Williams Larry <william_larry01@yahoo.fr>
Subject: Please reply urgent

Dear Sir,

I am happy for your mail, sir I want to know exactly the type of my picture that you want, do you want my picture with clothing as well or do you need my necked picture? Please put me through here.

Again greet your sister for me she speaks good French, please tell her to take care of her sale. Also Doctor said that he will give me Doctors report so that I will send to you.

Please have you send the money to the security company?

Reply urgently
Samuel
Rabbi Ben Zona
Mar 26, 2008

B"H

Hi, Shmuli!

Shayndl isn't my sister, she's my daughter. She was gushing that she has someone to practice her French with. I nor my wife do not speak any French - Yiddish, Hebrew, and can understand Aramaic, but no French - so Shayndl appreciates all the encouragement and attention. Shayndl is only 12 but also learning other languages at school besides French. I'm sure she'll be writing you again.

Regarding your picture, this is not a difficult proposition. Respectfully, Shmuli, can't you see what is at stake here? Your mother told me a couple of weeks ago that you were circumcised according to tradition. I need to see not only proof that it was done, but that it was done properly. You can leave your shirt on if you'd like but of course I will need your pants down. Include your face as well so that I know it's really you. I understand this may be somewhat embarrassing, but it's not as if I'll be posting the pictures up on a website. (not right away, anyway...) Understand that I have no use for pornography. I am a simple, pious man, and if you are to be taken in to my house as my son, I need for you to take my religion, wholly and completely.

Tell me, what is the name of the hospital your mother is at? I must send a card, or flowers, or at least give a call to. Bikur cholim, the visiting of the sick, is a very big religious obligation. As I cannot get to Africa , G-d will understand my acknowledgement. I have already made donations in your mother's name to Sisters of St. Hubbins, an organisation providing shoes to the needy, as well as to Our Lady of Perpetual Crabs, a non-profit organisation raising awareness for people in your mother's condition.

(Nod to the Spinal Tap reference here too.)

Shayndl
Mar 26, 2008

Mon cher Samuel:

Si vous pouvez, pouvez vous veuillez m'envoyer une réponse en français, juste pour moi. Elle signifiera beaucoup àmoi. J'ai finalement figuré hors de la façon ajouter des accents àmon message.

Avez-vous su que je suis très bon avec des langues? Je projette parler en 10 langues couramment. J'apprends beaucoup tout seul. Plus la langue est plus obscure, le meilleur.

Dites-moi un peu au sujet de vous-même. Mon papa me dit que vous êtes àl'école de bible. Qu'apprenez-vous? A quoi ressemblez-vous? Combien grand êtes-vous?

Votre future soeur,
Shayndl

(Roughly more introductory stuff: can you please answer me in French, it will mean a lot to me, I've finally figured out how to add accents, tell me a bit about yourself, how tall are you, what do you look like, yada yada yada.)

Samuel
Received: from [41.202.77.56]
Date: Wed, 26 Mar 2008

Dear Sir,

Thanks for your mail, I am sorry I can't send any such picture, if that will hinder you not to help us again its ok.

Thanks Samuel
Rabbi Ben Zona
Mar 27, 2008

B"H

Dear Shmuli:

Is there any reason you can not?

How is your dear mother doing today?
Rabbi Ben Zona
Apr 1, 2008

B"H

Shmuli,

Is everything OK? How's your dear mother?

(Unlike Shmuli not to write. Hope I didn't scare him off! I was just getting into it.)

Samuel
Received: from [196.201.88.231]
Date: Wed, 2 Apr 2008
Subject: thank you for this

Dear Shmuli , (no no, you're Shmuli, not me)

this writting is from samuel i am grateful to receive your message with the zeal to help me out of this situation .thank you for the trust and i want everything we are doing to be secret sealed among ourselves so that outsider will not monitor us as you can see my misfortune , anything happening to me here is death, so iam confiding on you and whatever question or advise you need , feel free to ask me so that we conclude on time without stress.

dear sir,
i have read your message, please do notify me if really you have contacted the security company with the text application . there is every reason that you contact security company as i advised to enable me process the formalities since i cannot leave here without your conclusion with security company.
i will be grateful for your understanding.
samuel
Rabbi Ben Zona
Apr 2, 2008

B"H

Hi, Shmuli! I take it everything is all right with your mother?

I contacted the security company a couple of weeks ago for you, but my dear son, I still do not have any identification from you. As you refuse to send me a picture of your circumcision, I will require a doctor's note from your mother at the very least, but will require some identification from yourself.

I understand that the Ivory Coast is rife with immorality and criminality and must be assured that you and your mother are on the up-and-up.
Samuel

(This arrived while I was typing the last one.)

Received: from [196.201.88.231]
Date: Wed, 2 Apr 2008
From: Williams Larry <william_larry01@yahoo.fr>
Subject: thanks

dear ben zona ,
thank you for your message, you see the essence of exposing myself to you is for your complete observation to know the truth. there is no i can raise money or act as if i know you hence i did inform you that everything has to be secret due to my position.

the reactivation as the case may be will be duly completed by yourself not from myside .there is nosecurity company demand which is above you. you are equal to any security company demand and remember that i did promise that we are to guide and protect the claim until the transfer is made , so there is no reason for you to doubt or argue the formalities.
you only need to pray for the head quaters to approve the claim, then every other thing will be ok, hence nothing difficult than reactivation of the account and security company will delegate our accredited lawyer to assist you if you cannot come to help secure or obtain the needed formalities in your favour.
i therefore , advised that you try to cooperate and abide with the advise which i will give you for better solution of this project.
lets be praying for head quaters approval, that is most important problem while you arrange the reactivation of account fee.
may God bless us all.
Samuel

(If there's one thing I can't stand is having to repeat myself and repeat myself. Time for a slap..)

Rabbi Ben Zona
Apr 2, 2008

B"H

Hi, Shmuli:

Looking back on our correspondence, I notice that there is possibly some confusion on how I expect to be addressed. Please call me either Rabbi Zona or Dr Zona.

I take high offense to your latest missive. I don't want to sound cold, especially in light of your circumstances, but let's talk straight.

I'm not sure what you mean by:
>>thank you for your message, you see the essence of exposing myself to you is for your complete observation to know the truth.

My issue was not only that you steadfastly refused to expose yourself, as it were, so there's no way of me knowing the truth.

You also said:
>>so there is no reason for you to doubt or argue the formalities.

Again, why should I not doubt the formalities? I have absolutely zero identification or proof that you and your mother are who you say you are, let alone whether or not the money actually exists.

We seem to be going around in circles here. For the final time, I will not contact the security company again until I see some identification. The onus of proof is on you, Shmuli. Of course I know you both exist - someone is writing me, after all - but officially I have no corroboration of this.

>> i therefore , advised that you try to cooperate and abide with ...
You're 22 years old, right? Let's get something else straight. Respectfully, bubbeleh, you know bubkas.. I represent a major congregation and charitable organisation, donating millions of dollars each year to charities all around the world.. Rodef Bubbameissah is listed on NASDAQ (quote: URAFKWT) and have thousands of members internationally. Don't advise me to try to cooperate and abide with anyone. I'm a rabbi and a mohel, but I'm also a businessman. Keep in mind that it's your mother who contacted me to begin with. You need me to move your money, and I've always maintained, and still maintain, that I'm happy to do so and help out. But please don't take me for a fool.

If you want my assistance, here's what you do:

1. Shayndl tells me she wrote you two emails that have gone unanswered. She's a 12-year-old girl. Answer her. Show her you care. Your her future brother.

2. Get me that doctor's note.

3. Let me know how your mother is doing. It's your mother! Keep your head clear of the money and care for the lady. She doesn't have long to live.

4. Stop being cagey with me when I ask you a question. When I ask a question, it's because I want to know the answer. Rhetorical questions don't have a place in email message, don't they?

5. Start reading my messages. If you don't understand something, I'm happy to explain further.

6. You also owe me an apology, boychik. Make it a good one.

7. Don't even mention the words "security company" until the other 6 issues are addressed.

Sincerely,
Dr Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Rodef Bubbameissah
Shayndl
Apr 3

Mon cher Samuel:

Qu'est-ce que tu disait àPapa? Il était très fâché, mais quand il devient fou il finit d'être fâché rapidement, ainsi il est dans une humeur bien meilleure maintenant.

Vous pouvez me dire. Je suis un bon auditeur.

Pourquoi ne m'écrivez-vous pas?

Ta soeur,
Shayndl
Samuel
Received: from [41.207.218.98]
Date: Sat, 5 Apr 2008
From: Williams Larry <william_larry01@yahoo.fr>
Subject: FROM SAMUEL

Dear sir,
Thanks for your mail.
Here's the pictures you requested for

[tiny pics plainly pulled from some web page]

Samuel
Received: from [213.136.125.108]
Date: Sun, 6 Apr 2008

Dear Rabbi Zona,
I have send the pictures to you. you can now transfer the consignment to your acount thanks
Rabbi Ben Zona
Apr 7 B"H

Dear Shmuli:

I refer you to the unaddressed items below in my email, especially #5.
Samuel
Received: from [41.202.71.177]
Date: Tue, 8 Apr 2008
Subject: PLEASE SIR I AM VERY VERY SORRY FOR THIS MISTAKE

Dr Rabbi Zona
Congregation Rodef Bubameissah,
I am very much happy as to receive your mail as I am in the hope that you are in good health, I am very very sorry as well regarding the mistake of the address I made, please I am Very Sorry for That
Thanks.
My Best Regard
Samuel
Rabbi Ben Zona
Apr 8 B"H

Shmuli:
To what are you referring?
Samuel
Received: from [41..202.72.221]
Date: Tue, 8 Apr 2008
From: Williams Larry <william_larry01@yahoo.fr>

Sincerely
Dr Rabbi Zona
Congregation Rodef Bubameissah,
I am very much happy as to receive your mail .I am referring you to contact the security company today please Dr Rabbi .
Rabbi Ben Zona
Apr 9

My poor, naive, silly, and quite possibly illiterate Shmuli:

I refer you to once again to the unaddressed items in my mail, but this time I'll not only emphasize #5, but also #7 for good measure.

You're trying my patience.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Apr 15

B"H

Hello, Shmuli:

I haven't heard from you in about a week. Hope everything is OK with your dear mother, not that you'd tell me anyway. Please, though, I'd like to hear from her to see she's OK. It looks like she's put on a lot of weight while being laid up in the hospital.

I've acquired the services of an African lawyer, Owata Dikedjua. I've asked him to be in touch with you forthwith to take care of your mother's money, as you've proven that you're still a child in matters of business. Not to worry that you haven't been forthcoming with answers - I now realize that you're probably incapable of answering.

I would also think it would be best for you to stay in Bible school and come out with a qualification of some sort. I'm assuming that since you're 22 years old this is some sort of post-secondary qualification. Good for you!

Mr. Dikedjua will deal with all matters of security company arrangements.

Sincerely yours,
Dr Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Rodef Bubbameissah
Barrister Owata Dikedjua

[Ben Zona wheels out his barrister]

Apr 21 2008

DEAR,

COMPLIMENTS OF THE DAY HOW ARE YOU AND YOUR FAMILY? HOW IS YOUR BUSINESS? HOPE FINE. I WAS CONTACTED BY dr rabbi ben zona WHO ASKED ME TO CONTACT YOU HELPING YOU MOVE YOUR MOTHERS ESTATE OUT OF THE COUNTRY OF cote d'ivoire

I AM AWAITING dr zona's WORD TO HELP OUT ON THE PROCEEDINGS WITH THE SECURITY COMPNAY PLEASE DEAR I HAVE BEEN WORKING AS A LAWYER IN THE COURTS HERE IN LAGOS FOR 40 YEARS SO I KNOW WHAT I AM DOING

IT IS MY HUMBLE PLEASURE DOING BUSINESS WITH YOU AND PLEASE LET US KNOW HOW WE CAN PLEASURE YOU MORE IN THE FUTURE

YOURS TULY
BARRISTER O. DIKEDJUA (OWATA)

[More to come? Or will "Linda Williams" and "Chiko Kone" realize that "Williams Larry" and "Samuel" are not destined for the executive boardroom? And if they're all really one struggling Lad in an internet cafe, will he fire himself?]

Don Clark Edward
Oct 14, 2008

IP: 213.136.125.128

BARRISTER DON CLARK EDWARD
SOLICITORS & ADVOCATES,
INTERNATIONAL CONSULTANTS,
P&B CHAMBERS & ASSOCIATES,
AVENUE 10B RUE 21 DU COMMERCE-PLATEAU / ABIDJAN COTE D'IVOIRE
CONTACT BARRISTER DON CLARK EDWARD
OFFICE TEL: +225 4557-3666
EMAIL: don_clarklawfirm@yahoo.fr

ATT: DR RABBI BEN ZONA,

I HEREBY INTRODUCE MYSELF TO YOU IN THE PERSON OF BARRISTER DON CLARK EDWARD (ESQ) AS LAWYER TO MR SAMUEL WILLIAM CONTACTED ME FOR ASSISTING HIM OUT OF THE FUND TRANSFER INTO YOUR NOMINATED ACCOUNT IN ISRAEL AS THE MOTHER DIED.

PRECISELY, THE FUND IS DEPOSITED IN THE BANK UP TILL NOW AND HE IS THE ONE THAT GIVE ME YOUR CONTACT EMAIL ADDRESS TO CONTACT TO BE AWARE OF EVERYTHING FOR US TO CONTINUE OUT FROM WHERE IT WAS STOP DUE TO THE SUDDEN DEATH OF HIS MOTHER FEW MONTHS AGO.

ACTUALLY, I KNOW QUIET WELL THAT YOU'LL BE LITTLE BIT SURPRISE AND I WANT YOU AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS MESSAGE TO TRY YOUR POSSIBLE BEST TO PUT IN CONTACT WITH ME ASAP.

I DO REMAIN.
BARRISTER DON CLARK EDWARD.
P& B CHAMBER & ASSOCIATES.
Samuel aka Larry Williams

[The son is back!]

Oct 15, 2008

from: Larry Williams
subject: I WRITE THIS MESSAGE TO REMIND YOU.
IP: 196.201.89.75

Dear Dr Rabbi Ben Zona,

I know is quiet long time since i contacted you last due to the illness of my mother and the position of Fund to be transfer out to you in Israel and along the line i lost my mother.

And secondly, I put you incontact with this lawyer Don Clark Edward so that, you can contact for us to be able to commence from where we stop so far and i will be please for you to contact me now in this very mail box i am contacting you with. Please try as much as possible to email the lawyer or you call him to discuss with him in confident and also copy me the mail.

I look forward hearing from you as soon as possible.

Thanks,
Best Regards,
Samuel William.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Oct 16, 2008

Well, hello Shmuli! I didn't think I'd ever hear from you again.

I'm so sorry to hear that Mrs. William passed away. My condolences to you and your family.

I have many questions, but I remember you're not too good with too many at once. So I'll ask just one: Are you still looking for me to be your guardian?

Sincerely,
Dr Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Rodef Bubbameissah

[OK, so now Shmuli's got himself some legal representation. Same IP address, same propensity for starting off paragraphs with not-quite-the-correct adverbs, same use of "quiet" instead of "quite", etc etc.]

Rabbi Ben Zona
Oct 16, 2008

to: Don Clark Edward

Dear Barrister Edward,

I acknowledge your email, however I request that you exercise patience for the time being. Young Samuel has quite a bit of explaining to do in order to get these modalities moving again.

Sincerely,
Dr Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Rodef Bubbameissah
Samuel aka Larry Williams aka William Samuel
Oct 17, 2008

subject: YES I WANT YOU TO MY GAURDIAN.
IP: 196.201.75.76

Dear Dr Rabbi,

You are welcome Dr Rabbi once again, My mind is cool now as i heard from you now because i was so toxicated in the sense that, I toss up & down for the person that will assist me but my mind was still stick on you that you're the right person to carry me and transfer this fund out here consistently.

My anwser to your question is capital yes i want you to be my Gaurdian & no one else and i will like you in your next response to me to send me your direct phone number in order to call you and hear your voice and secondly, I am passing through hell of difficulties here even before the death of my lovingly mother. Sotherefore Dr Rabbi, Please comes in to my life and rescue me out with my fund to your country please i begg you with the name of God Almighty.Please is Barrister Don Clark Edward contacted you?

I look forward hearing from you as soon as you receive this message.

Thanks, Best Regards,
Mr William
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Oct 19, 2008

IP: 41.207.23.179

Dear Dr Rabbi,

Nice to read from you and how is everything with you and your family today. Notwithstandings, I am expecting your questions as you said in your email to me and secondly, I want us to start everything in time now in order to get to the main root to get this fund transfer finally into your account in Israel for me to join you there because i am facing a lot of difficulties here.

The lawyer told you yesterday when i went his office that you contacted him and you told him to exercise little patient first that, he is waiting as you said.

Extend my warmest greeting to your daugther the one that use to write me in french language and i wish every one of you happy weekend.

Best Regards,
Mr Samuel William

[My French-speaking daughter don't want to talk to you no more, pigdog.]

Don Clark Edward
Oct 24, 2008

subject: TRY AND BREAK YOUR SILENTNESS WITH MR SAMUEL WILLIAM.
IP: 41.207.218.213

ATTENTION: MR BEN ZONA,
FROM:BARRISTER DON CLARK EDWARD.
P & B CHAMBERS & ASSOCIATE.

THIS IS TO REMIND YOU OF THIS MATTER AT HAND EVER SINCE YOU ASKED ME TO RELAX FIRST THAT YOUR SON SAMUEL WILLIAM IS TOO SMALL TO HANDLE THE TRANSACTION AND YOU DO NOT WRITE TO HIM AND HE HAS BEEN SO WORRY THAT, HE KEEP ON COMING TO MY OFFICE WORRYING ME OVER THE MATTER AS IF I AM THE ONE THAT KEEPS DELAY ON IT.

APPERANTLY, WHAT SOEVER YOU WANT TO DO MY BROTHER COMMENCE IT NOW IN ORDER TO HELP THIS BOY OUT OF THIS DIFFICULTIES BECAUSE ACCORDING HIS TO ME IS HOPING ON YOU A LOT CONCERNING HIS HELP OUT OF THIS. I STAND ON BEHALF OF HIM AND ASK YOU TO HAVE TIME ALSO ON HIS OWN CASE DO MATTER HOW BUSY YOU ARE TO BOSS HIS MORAL BECAUSE HE REALLY WAIT ON YOU AS HIS FATHER AND ALSO HIS GUIDIANCE ON THIS TRANSACTION.

I DO REMAIN.
BARRISTER DON CLARK EDWARD.
P & B CHAMBERS ASSOCIATE.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Oct 25, 2008

Barrister Don Clark Edward,

Respectfully, my position toward you hasn't changed. I have a few issues to sort out with Shmuli first. I will be in contact with you when I see fit.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Oct 25, 2008

Shmuli,

If you wanted me to be your guardian, why have you waited this long to contact me?
Samuel William aka Larry Williams
Oct 26, 2008

subject: From Mr Samuel William.
IP: 41.207.218.213

Dear Dr Rabbi Zona,

Great to communicate with you through this medium because i was so worry over your entire silentness to me for over weeks plus and now i convince all is well.

Actually, I got your point quiet well all what you said and you demand for you are very right because it was not an day job, That was where i know really that, to become man is not a day job. Sotherefore before i commence my explanation on the field of delayed to contact you as my guidian. A long the line, When the ailment of my mother was getting out of hands i had to relocate to village with her to treat her in traditions way untill the time that, i couldn't know exactly what to do for myself and even the people to meet for the treatment of my mother and unfortunately my mother received call to glory of which i was left behind in a neutral ground entire contemplating where to start or go to and i look at the heaven & the earth everywhere was far from me that very time in which i cannot forget it throughout my life time on earth.

Obviously, And village chiefs and kings men their all on me interrogating me in every way to get fact from me tortures me even and i promise in me eventhough they want to kill me as they kill my mother that i can never altered words to them to tell them where the fund has been kept nor anything concerned us but what was really consent me that very time is to give my lovingly mother befeated burial and that was done after a couple of five months before her burial in the village and after that, I spent months in the village too before i relocated to town where i can have acess to internet to start where we stoped so far of which the fund is in the bank in Abidjan now as i am communicating with you. And secondly, I didn't consult anyone to be my guidian apart from you and i want you to know that quiet well because i builted that trust in you already as my father and i want this fund to transfer out of this country to your country Israel for me to come over there to invest the fund in any interesting business to enable me to be reading part time to obtain my degree while business will be rolling under your care as my guidian.

To be splendid Dr Rabbi, The main reason i am hurry up to transfer this fund out of this country is that, Election is coming up next month ending and no one knows what will really happen because kidnappers are terrorising the country here and there and even right now, where am living is not condusive to me because if they transfer this money and i come over there you'll get me place to live on my own because now i am on age to live on my own now.

Dr Rabbi, Any questions or things you need to know from me before we continue please i am ready for it and i also look forward to hear from you as soon as you receive this mail.

I wish you warmest weekend and extend my greeting to your daugther.

Thanks,
Best Regards,
Mr Samuel William.

[Village chiefs and kings killing his mother? Couldn't they leave an old cancer patient alone? Even though it was her stroke that disturbed her the most? But I digress.]

Rabbi Ben Zona
Oct 29, 2008

B"H

Dear Shmuli,

Sometimes I ask essay questions on my tests for my students just to see what they come up with. For some students I'd have to wade through paragraphs and paragraphs of tripe. Oftentimes, and especially when coupled with completely illegible handwriting, I have a quick glance at the essay answers, see the sheer volume of words, and although they don't amount to much, I can see at least the thought process is working.

You, Shmuli, I'll give 8/10, as I'm deducting 2 marks for an 109-word sentence in your second paragraph, a 140-word sentence in your third paragraph, and a 90-word sentence in your last. Unless you're David Foster Wallace, who can get away with that sort of thing, The 8 marks I'm giving you bespeaks some clear thoughts on your behalf, even though I can't honestly make heads nor tails out of your answer. That, and I'm a bit biased because you're practically my son.

Now that we've got the guardianship issues sorted, I need you to tell me about what you learned in Bible school. I hope you specialised in the Old Testament; not much call for knowledge of the other one around my Shabbas table.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Nov 3, 2008

to: Don Clark Edward

B"H

Dear Barrister Edward,

Is young Shmuli still going to your office frequently? I haven't heard anything from him for some time, leaving me in doubt on whether he is serious about these modalities at all.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Nov 3, 2008

B"H

Dear Shmuli,

Hoping everything is OK, as I've not heard from you for about a week.

What did you learn in Bible school?
Don Clark Edward
Nov 4, 2008

subject: TRY YOUR POSSIBLE FOR THE SMALL BOY.
IP: 196.201.94.16

ATTENTION: DR RABBI BEN.

SIR,

APPERANTLY, I APPRECIATE YOUR WRITING NOTE ME AND I PONDER OVER ALL YOUR POINTS AND AM HERE TO LET YOU KNOW THAT IS NOT AS YOU THINK THAT, THE SMALL BOY IS ALWAYS HERE IN MY OFFICE BECAUSE IS VERY DIFFICULT FOR HIM EVEN TO FEED IN A DAY AND SECONDLY, I CEASE THAT OPPORTUNITY TO ASK HIM WHETHER YOU RESPONSE TO HIS MESSAGE FROM THERE HE TOLD ME THAT, HE DOES NOT KNOW BECAUSE HE DOES NOT HAVE ANY MONEY TO GO AND CHECK HIS EMAIL AND FROM THERE, I GAVE HIM LITTLE MONEY SO THAT HE CAN GO AND CHECK HIS MAIL AND THIS EVENING HE CAME AND TOLD ME THAT YOU WROTE TO HIM SINCE THAT HE IS GOING TO RESPONSE TO YOU TOMORROW UNFAILINGLY.

PLEASE TRY INAS MUCH AS POSSIBLE TO PUT THE BOY LIFE IN ORDER MR RABBI AS MUCH AS YOU CAN BECAUSE THE COUNTRY IS VERY TOUGH NOW A DAYS.
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Nov 4, 2008

IP: 196.201.88.47

Dear Papa Ben,

Am very sorry for the delay to your message to me due to my financial difficulties I was unable to check my mails and moreso I was visiting Barrister Don Clark for assisting me to get something to eat and from there he gave me money to go and check my mail that you're contacting him asking about me and getting there I met your message and I decided to give response to it once and I use this chance to thank you too for accepting to my guidance.

Absolutely, You know quiet well that I didn't continue on my bible school again due to condition of my mother before her sudden death and just decided to furnish you with little story of Abraham and not much.

Genesis 11vs 26 Abraham, Abram and Terah seventy years, and begat Abram, Nahor and Haran . Genesis 11vs31 and terah took Abram is son, and lot the son of Haran his son's and sarai his daughter in law, his son Abram's wife, and they went forthwith them from UR of the chaldeas to go into the land of cannan, and they came unto haran and dwelt there.

Genesis 12 vs1-5 Called by God , now the lord said unto Abram get thee out of they country from thy Kindred, and from thy father's house unto a land that I will show thee. And I will make of thee a great nation's, and I will bless thee and make thy name great and then shalt be a blessing. And I will bless them that bless thee, and I will bless thee and curse him that curseth thee. And in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed. So Abram departed as the lord had spoken unto him, and lot went with him and Abram was seventy and five years old where are departed of haran . And took sarai and lot his brother son and all their substance that they have gathered, and the souls that they gotten in Haran and they went forth to go into the land of cannan they came

Genesis 12 vs.10-20 Went to Egypt . Genesis 13vs 1-11 Separated from lot Genesis 14vs13-16 Reseued lot

Genesis 15vs18 Covenant with God In the same day the lord made a covenant with Abram saying unto they seed have I given this land, from the river of Egypt unto Great River, the rivers Euphrates Genesis 17vs1-22.

Genesis 17vs5 Name change from Abram to Abraham neither shall they name any more be called Abram but they name shall be Abraham, for as father of many nations i have made thee. Genesis 18 vs1-21 Entertained Angels. Genesis 18vs22-23 Interceded for Sodom .

Genesis 21vs9-21 Banished Hagar and Ishmael, Genesis 22vs1-14 willing to offer Isaac, Genesis23 Buried Sarah in Machpelah Genesis 25vs1 And Abraham took a wife and her name was Keturah. Genesis 25vs 8-9 Death Burial. Then Abraham gave up to the ghost and died in a good old age an old man and full of years and was gathered to his people. And his son Isaac and Ishmael buried him in the cave of Machphelah in the field of Ephron the son of Zohor the Hittite which is before Mamre.

I look forward hearing from you as soon as you receive this message with you.

Thanks,
Best Regards,
Mr Samuel William.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Nov 4, 2008

B"H

Barrister Edward,

Don't you worry about my intentions toward the boy. I'm sure he's told you about my intention to take him into my family.

If our small boy doesn't have the money to pay for food, how is it that he's able to retain a barrister?
Don Clark Edward
Nov 8, 2008

subject: THANKS NO PROBLEM.
IP: 196.201.88.236

ATTENTION:DR BEN RABBI.

DEAR SIR,

I APPRECIATE YOUR THOUGHT AND YOUR INTENTION TOO AND I MUST TELL YOU THAT ALL WHAT WE DO IN LIFE WE DO IT FOR GOD SAKE AND I WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT, THIS COUNTRY WE ARE IS NOT EASY AND NO ONE IS READY TO HELP, POLITICS SPOIL THINGS HERE AND NO WORK FOR THE YOUNG SCHOOL LEVER TO DO.

BUT FOR SAMUEL, THE CHURCH IS ATTENDING IS TRYING FOR HIM TO PAY LITTLE ROOM IS LIVING AND NOW IS FOR YOU TO TRY AND LET US PUT OUR FINGERS ACROSS TO LIFT HIM OUT OF THAT DUST IN ORDER TO TRANSFER THE FUND AND LET HIM JOIN YOU UP THERE IN ISRAEL AND EVEN TELL ME THAT, IF YOU PERMIT HIM IT CAN FORGET ABOUT EVERYTHING HERE AND COME TO ISRAEL THAT, HE BELIEVE HE WILL MADE IT THERE BECAUSE HE IS NOT LEZY TYPE AND ASK HIM TO PRAY FOR IT THAT GOD WILL SURELY MADE IT TO COME TO REALITY BECAUSE WITH GOD EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE.

FOR INSTANT, MADE IT FAST TO HELP THE BOY OUT PLEASE EVERYTHING IS IN YOUR HANDS NOW.

I DO REMAIN.
BARRISTER DON CLARK EDWARD.
P & B CHAMBER & ASSOCIATE.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Nov 10, 2008

B"H

Dear Shmuli,

How very timely. Lech Lecha was this week's parsha. I have an interesting question, and am curious to know your opinion, and of course, what you learned in Bible school. Knowing your lack of propensity to handle multiple questions in one email, I'll even keep this to one question:

Notice when you quoted Genesis 12 10-20 Went to Egypt. While it is true that Abraham and Sarah did experience famine in Canaan - the reason they went to Egypt - and considering that Abraham was commanded by G-d to go to Canaan, should he not have trusted G-d enough to get through the famine, especially in light of conceiving a plan to fool the Egyptians by exposing Sarah to potential danger?

I want a good answer, not necessarily correct, but one that's thought out properly. I need to make the argument to the Interior Ministry that we have a potential Bible student. Coming into Israel, and thus gaining Israeli citizenship, is not like gaining citizenship for any other country. I know when coming to Australia you must go 3 rounds with a grey kangaroo, Canada makes you pledge allegiance to the Toronto Maple Leafs, and what with security as it is nowadays, Americans make you volunteer for 6 months as a Walmart greeter. With Israel, you must know the Bible back to front, which is good news for you going to Bible school and all.

I also want to see if your mother's investment in sending you to Bible school was worth her trouble and no doubt large cost, though it escapes me that someone who needs to beg for food and Internet service can possibly maintain a barrister.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Rodef Bubbameissah

p.s. I'm not your Papa yet. Please do not address me as such.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Nov 10, 2008

B"H

Barrister Edward,

What is your interest in these modalities? And how much will this be costing Shmuli?
Don Clark Edward
Nov 10, 2008

subject: BARRISTER DON CLARK EDWARD. TO DR BEN RABBI
IP: 41.207.218.65

ATTENTION : DR BEN RABBI
FROM ISRAEL.

DEAR SIR,

THANK YOU FOR YOUR KIND QUESTION TO ME AND THIS MORNING AS I RECEIVE YOUR MESSAGE I HAVE TO CALL BANK FIRST BECAUSE I DO NOT KNOW HOW MUCH THE DOCUMENT WILL COST YOU AND THE DIRECTOR OF BANK ASK ME TO COME TO THEIR OFFICE AND I WENT TO MEET WITH HIM ONE AND ONE TO DISCUSS IT IN GOOD FAITH AND FROM THERE, HE EXPLAIN IN DETAILS TO ME THAT YOU WILL NEED TO OBTAIN APPROVAL CERTIFICATE OF TRANSFER FROM THE MINISTRY OF FINANCE HERE IN ABIDJAN AND THAT WILL COST YOU €3000 IN WHICH I WILL FAX IT TO YOU IN ISRAEL TO FILL AND FAX IT BACK TO ME BEFORE THE TRANSFER WILL BE EFFECT.

OFFICIALLY, FEDERAL GOVERNMENT OF COTE D' IVOIRE IMPLEMENTS THIS LAW BECAUSE OF MONEY LAUNDRY AND MINISTERS AND TOP POLITICIAN THERE'S BEEN LOOTING MONEY TO OVERSEAS COUNTRY TO HIDE AND WITH THIS CERTIFICATE THERE'S NO AUTHORITY THEY CAN STOP THE TRANSFER BECAUSE YOU HAVE AUTHORISE CERTIFICATE THAT COVER'S YOUR TRANSFER FROM GOVERNMENT.

I BELIEVE YOU CAN GO A HEAD AND SEND ME YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER SO THAT I CAN REACH YOU EASILY AND ALSO PUT EVERYTHING IN DETAILS FOR YOU AS YOU WERE DEMAND.
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Nov 11, 2008

subject: THANKS FOR YOUR MESSAGE.
IP: 213.136.125.24

Dear Dr Rabbi,

Notice the step by step procedure. Abraham drifted down and out of Canaan . And there in the pagan city of Gerar , Abraham put his life under the control of a pagan king rather than out in the countryside before God. Abraham committed the same sin of deceiving others about his wife for fear of his own life. He gave his wife to be part of another man's collection of women just so he could be safe! We should see how immoral this w as Sarah obligated to obey Abraham in these situations? From 1 Peter 3:1-6, we see that she was commended for her purity of faith. “For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands. Thus Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear" (1 Peter 3:5, 6). We have to assume that she trusted God for what would happen. We can safely assume she prayed and God delivered her out of her husband's wrong decision and immoral situation. We also must assume that if necessary she would not have willingly allowed a pagan king to touch her body.

Was Sarah obligated to obey Abraham in these situations? From 1 Peter 3:1-6, we see that she was commended for her purity of faith. “For in this way in former times the holy women also, who hoped in God, used to adorn themselves, being submissive to their own husbands. Thus Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, and you have become her children if you do what is right without being frightened by any fear" (1 Peter 3:5, 6). We have to assume that she trusted God for what would happen. We can safely assume she prayed and God delivered her out of her husband's wrong decision and immoral situation. We also must assume that if necessary she would not have willingly allowed a pagan king to touch her body.

Now the LORD had said to Abram, Get you out of your country, and from your kindred, and from your father's house, to a land that I will show you:

And I will make of you a great nation, and I will bless you, and make your name great; and you shall be a blessing And I will bless them that bless you, and curse him that curses you: and in you shall all families of the earth be blessed. So Abram departed, as the LORD had spoken to him; and Lot went with him: and Abram was seventy and five years old when he departed out of Haran . And Abram took Sarai his wife, and Lot his brother's son, and all their substance that they had gathered, and the souls that they had gotten in Haran ; and they went forth to go into the land of Canaan ; and into the land of Canaan they came. And Abram passed through the land to the place of Sichem, to the plain of Moreh. And the Canaanite was then in the land. And the LORD appeared to Abram, and said, to your seed will I give this land: and there built him an altar to the LORD, who appeared to him. And he removed from there to a mountain on the east of Bethel , and pitched his tent, having Bethel on the west and Hai on the east: and there he built an altar to the LORD, and called on the name of the LORD. And Abram journeyed, going on still toward the south. And there was a famine in the land: and Abram went down into Egypt to sojourn there; for the famine was grievous in the land. And it came to pass, when he was come near to enter into Egypt, that he said to Sarai his wife, Behold now, I know that you are a fair woman to look on: Therefore it shall come to pass, when the Egyptians shall see you, that they shall say, This is his wife: and they will kill me, but they will save you alive. Say, I pray you, you are my sister: that it may be well with me for your sake; and my soul shall live because of you. And it came to pass, that, when Abram was come into Egypt , the Egyptians beheld the woman that she was very fair. The princes also of Pharaoh saw her, and commended her before Pharaoh: and the woman was taken into Pharaoh's house. And he entreated Abram well for her sake: and he had sheep, and oxen, and he asses, and menservants, and maidservants, and she asses, and camels. And the LORD plagued Pharaoh and his house with great plagues because of Sarai Abram's wife. And Pharaoh called Abram and said, what is this that you have done to me? why did you not tell me that she was your wife? Why said you, She is my sister? so I might have taken her to me to wife: now therefore behold your wife, take her, and go your way. And Pharaoh commanded his men concerning him: and they sent him away, and his wife, and all that he had. And in the beginning Abraham do not followed the instruction from God but he trusted in God enough.

Dr Rabbi, The situation i am now can happen to any body but God knows and my God will not allow me to beg for food nor internet aceess again and i only stop bible because i do not have the money to pay the school fees but for house i am living God is providing for me to pay and to eat atleast.

Dr Rabbi, Let me know your intention toward me because the year is running out and sorry for addressing papa please i am apologise for that.

Thanks,
Mr Samuel Williams
Rabbi Ben Zona
Nov 11, 2008

to: Don Clark Edward
cc: Owata Dikedjua [Recall that O.D. is the Rabbi's legal counsel and one of the good guys]

B"H

Barrister Edward,

Why will this cost me anything at all? Do you not realise the time and expense I must incur to organise an adoption of a lad from Cote D'Ivoire? I've had to organize the paperwork from the Interior Ministry, I'm adding an extension on the house, I'm finding Shmuli some suitable work, I've paid money to a reliable matchmaker, and now you're telling me this will be another 3000 Euros to a government department?

I've looked at the Cote D'Ivoire government website, and am completely fit to be Tide to find anything about this so-called money laundry law. If you could be so kind to point me in the right direction, that would certainly Cheer me up. If it wasn't in Africa, I'd think this was some kind of ancient Chinese secret.

Incidentally I'm dealing with a barrister in Nigeria presently on another matter. No doubt he could be of assistance in these modalities as he's used to dealing with government departments from your part of the world. By way of cc, Barrister Owata Dikedjua will be in touch with you soon.
Don Clark Edward
Nov 12, 2008

subject: BARRISTER DON CLARK EDWARD. TO DR BEN RABBI
IP: 41.207.23.154

ATTENTION: DR BEN RABBI,

THIS IS TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF YOUR EMAIL TO ME THIS DAY. AND I HEAR ALL WHAT YOU EXPLAINED SO FAR IN YOUR MAIL AND THE PLANS YOU HAD DRAWN ALREADY DAWN FOR SAMUEL.

AM HERE INCLUDE THE SITE YOU CAN FIND MATTER CONCERNING THE MONEY LAUNDRY IN ENTIRE WEST AFRICA AND COTE D' IVOIRE TOOK IT PERSONALLY BECAUSE OF WHAT REBELLED DID HERE 2002 LOOTING FUND OUT OF THE COUNTRY TO NEIGHBOURING COUNTRIES AND SOME TO FRANCE FOR THE EXAMPLE SUCH AS (IBRAHIM IBE) AND THAT MADE FEDERAL GOVERNMENT TO VOTE THE LAW INTO CONSTITUTION AND IMPLEMENTED THE LAW IMMEDIATELY OF WHICH IS VERY ACTIVE IN COTE D' IVOIRE AND IN BANKS ACROSS THE NATION AND I DO NOT WANT ANYTHING THAT WILL BE BLOCKAGE TO THIS TRANSFER PROCESS OR CRAWLING MY EFFORT IN THIS TRANSFERRED. AM NOW INCLUDING THE SITE FOR YOU TO SEE IT YOURSELF.

AS FOR CONTACTING YOUR BARRISTER IN NIGERIA IS NOT PROBLEM AND WHO IS THAT BARRISTER BY THE WAY TO YOU. THERE'S NO PROBLEM ABOUT THAT YOU'RE FREE TO CONTACT HIM AND ALSO KNOW QUIET WELL THAT EVERYTHING IS IN YOUR HANDS NOW TO COMMENCE THE PROCESS.

http://www.fatf-gafi.org/document/60/0,2340,en_32250379_32236869_34393596_1_1_1_1,00.html
http://www.fatf-gafi.org/pages/0,2987,en_32250379_32235720_1_1_1_1_1,00.html

I DO REMAIN.
BARRISTER DON CLARK EDWARD.
P & B CHAMBER & ASSOCIATES.
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Nov 15, 2008

subject: I WISH YOU WONDERFUL WEEKEND.
IP: 196.201.89.211

Dear Dr Rabbi,

It's my pleasure to write you this mail. I believe everything is going fine there with you and i wonder what really keeps you long to write to me because i am still waiting for your response and is upto one week now i do not see barrister nor calling him on telephone to know what is going between you peolpe or the progress on the transfer of the fund.

I hope everything is in good condition for the fund to be transfer before we swim into december because i really want to get out of this country and i always discuss it with our pastor in the church about it and keep on telling me to pray hard that all will come to pass positively.

I look forward to read from you Dr Rabbi because time & tide wait for no one.

Thanks,
Mr Samuel William.

[bit fitting about the tide waiting for no one, but I digress again...]

Rabbi Ben Zona

[The Rabbi brings in another associate!]

Nov 16, 2008

cc: Zayin Kattan [zayin kattan is Hebrew for "small penis"]

B"H

Shmuli,

I would be lying if I said I wasn't disappointed in you. As I would say to my students after assigning some work, that if they can find it on the Internet, so can I. It is indeed unfortunate that you clearly did not think about an appropriate answer to my question, and that you not only copied your answer verbatim off of a web page

(http://www.foundationsforfreedom.net/References/
OT/Pentateuch/Genesis/11Abraham/Genesis12_Place_Detour.html),

what I find completely astounding was that an acceptable answer was contained on that very web page but yet you copied the wrong paragraph.

Had you included the paragraph above, my response may have been different.

This has grave consequences. If you cannot answer a simple Bible question, there is no way you're going to pass the Israeli citizenship exam, which is much more rigorous than one question, and all my hard work will have gone for nought. That you have trouble with more than one question within a conversation also doesn't give me any consolation either.

Shmuli, I like you. Though a bit light in the grey matter, you seem like a decent man. Therefore, I'm putting my friend and confidant Zayin Kattan in touch with you (Zayin, please note). Zayin works as a pubic servant in the Interior Ministry and may be able to coach you on gaining your citizenship. Although he may be only a small part in the ministry in the process, please heed Zayin's good words and you just might get through this.
Barrister Owata Dikedjua

[Ben Zona's barrister!]

Nov 16, 2008

to: Don Clark Edward
cc: Ben Zona

DEAR BARRISTER DON CLARK EDWARD,

COMPLIMENTS OF THE DAY. HOW IS BUSINESS?HOPE FINE. AND YOUR LOVELY FAMILY HOPE FINE TOO. BY THE GRACE OF OUR LORD I WRITE YOU THIS LETTER ON BEHALF OF MY CLIENT dr. rabbi ben zona.

DR. RABBI BEN ZONA HE JUST CALLED ME AND HE SAY HE IS WORRIED ABOUT THE LAW IN COTE D'IVOIRE ABOUT MONEY LAUNDRY AND I TOLD HIM THIS IS STANDARD PROCEDURE WHEN DEALING WITH AGENTS IN THE WESTERN AFRICAN COUNTRIES WERE THE LAWS ARE NOT AS THEY ARE IN ISRAL OK SO THERE IS ALWAYS THE CHANCE OF MONEYS FALLING INTO HANDS OF DISREPURTABLE PERSONS AND SCARMERS OK.

CUSTOMER SATISFARCTION IS MY SPCEIALISTY AND SO PLEASE MY DEAR I HAVE BEEN WORKING IN THIS BUSINESS FOR A VERY LONG TIME AND I HOPE THAT I CAN PLEASURE YOU MORE WITH MY PROFESIONAL ATTITUDE AND MY GOOD GRACES. IF THERE IS ANYTHING I CAN DO TO HELP PLEASE LOOK NO FURTHER THAN YOUR LAD IN LAGOS.

FOR THE FAMILY,
BARRISTER O. DIKEDJUA {OWATA}
ODAMWATA FUKWICHUA CHAMBERS
Rabbi Ben Zona

[presumably copied to the scammer]

Nov 16, 2008

Dear Barrister Edward,

What you have provided me was a website of anti-money laundering, which is good and fine, but I would appreciate seeing the exact statute concerning needing to pay for an approval certificate of transfer from the Ivorian Ministry of Finance. I could not find this information on this website. As an esteemed lawyer you would no doubt have this kind of information at your fingertips, so please pass along all relevant information for my scrutiny.
Don Clark Edward
Nov 18, 2008

To: Owata Dikedjua
subject: FROM BARRISTER DON CLARK EDWARD TO BARRISTER O. DIKEDJUA (OWATA)
IP: 41.207.218.134

DEAR BARRISTER O. DIKEDJUA (OWATA).

I SO MUCH HAPPY TO READ FROM YOU MY COLLEAGUE BECAUSE DR RABBI HAD ALREADY INFORMED ME ABOUT YOU THAT HE HAS PROFESSIONAL LAWYER IN NIGERIA AND I BELIEVE HIM THAT HE'S TOO BIG TO LIE WITHOUT HAVING SOME ONE LIKE YOU IN GREAT NATION LIKE NIGERIA HE COULDN'T TELL ME.

IN FACT, IT PAINS ME THAT, YOU DIDN'T INCLUDE YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER I REALLY WANT TO SPEAK WITH YOU IN PHONE TO INTERACT ONE OR TWO THINGS TOGETHER BEFORE I PAY YOU VISIT IN NIGERIA. ACCORDING TO WHAT DR RABBI TOLD YOU ANYWHERE, THERE'S LITTLE BOY HERE IN ABIDJAN THAT NEEDS HIS HELP AND ALONG THE LINE BEFORE BANK WILL EFFECT THE TRANSFER OF THE FUND HE NEED TO OBTAIN SOME DOCUMENT HERE FROM THE MINISTRY OF FINANCE TO SEAL UP THE TRANSFER PROCESS WITHOUT THIS FUND HAVING OR EXPERIENCE ANY KNOCK ON THE ROAD BEFORE GETTING TO HIS DESTINATION IN ISRAEL.

AND I THANK GOD THAT YOU FORWARD THE MESSAGE YOU WROTE ME TO DR RABBI TO KNOW THAT NO ONE IS TRYING TO CHEAT NOR DECEIVING HIM BECAUSE ALOTS OF THING IS HAPPENING IN AFRICA OF WHICH DIFFERENCE COUNTRIES ARE IMPLEMENTING THEIR LAW IN ORDER TO BUILD UP THEIR COUNTRY TO SANITISE THE NATION TO AVOID MONEY LAUNDRY AND YOU INCLUDED IN YOUR EMAIL.

BARRISTER I WILL LIKE YOU TO SEND YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER ACROSS TO ME HERE IN ABIDJAN BECAUSE I REALLY NEED TO SPEAK WITH YOU TO HELP ME OUT IN SOME THINGS THERE IN LAGOS BEFORE I WILL PAY YOU A VISIT OR COME TO ABIDJAN.

I DO REMAIN.

BARRISTER DON CLARK EDWARD.
P& B CHAMBER & ASSOCIATES.
TEL: +225-0729-1274.
Don Clark Edward
Nov 18, 2008

To: Ben Zona
IP: 41.207.218.134

ATTENTION: DR RABBI BEN,

VERY INTERESTING TO READ FROM YOU AND I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY IS TAKING YOU LONG TIME BEFORE YOU RESPOND TO MY MESSAGE. I WAS GLAD ALSO TO RECEIVE A CRUCIAL MESSAGE FROM YOUR LAWYER IN NIGERIA TOO AND I BELIEVE HE'S ONE OF THE REPUTABLE LAWYER ASWELL.

IN NUTSHELL, I TOLD YOU ABOUT FINANCIAL INSTITUTIONS HERE IN MY COUNTRY ACCORDING TO THE MINISTRY OF FINANCE THAT GUIDE THEM AND YOU WERE STILL DEMAND ABOUT IT AND I DO NOT KNOW HOW I CAN EXPLAIN IT TO YOU TO UNDERSTAND OF WHICH I TOLD YOUR LAWYER AND ALSO COPY YOU THE EMAIL I SEND TO HIM BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING TO BE HIDE ABOUT THIS IS AN OPEN TRANSFER WE'RE TALKING ABOUT.

THIS SYSTEM COVERS UP THE TRANSFER FROM HERE TO YOUR COUNTRY AND THERE'S NO AUTHORITY WILL BE ABLE TO TEMPER WITH IT AND EVERY COUNTRY HAVE THEIR OWN LAW AND RULE & REGULATION THAT GUIDE THEM AND ALSO I DO NOT WANT YOU TO FALL A VICTIM OF NO CIRCUMSTANCE TAKE NOTE OF THIS DR RABBI BEN.

ACTUALLY, I DO NOT KNOW WHY IS DIFFICULT FOR YOU TO GIVE ME YOUR NUMBER OR TO CALL ME ON PHONE AND I STILL REPEAT MY STATEMENT THAT EVERYTHING IS NOW IN YOUR HANDS CONCERNING THIS TRANSFER.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,
BARRISTER DON CLARK EDWARD.
P&B CHAMBER & ASSOCIATES.
Zayin Kattan
Nov 18, 2008

to: Shmuli
cc: Ben Zona

helo dear shmeuli

my frend rav ben zona he tolding me to getting intuch with you abuot the chidon tanach which is the bible quizz yuo needing to getting for the citizen of israel

i am zayin kattan and i working for the interrior ministrery here that is in chrage of the citizens to becoming of israle and so i woudl like to telling you help with the quiz so yuo can get a citizen to israeli without troubles habibi!!!!!!!!1

ok frist yuo must tell me; did yuo studyied the old testament whith the new testament in africa??????? we dont caring about the new testament for the quizz if you did and tell me yuo are readying i can be snending yuo some exmples of queistions

zayin kattan
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Nov 19, 2008

subject: THANKS FOR YOUR MESSAGE TO ME.
to: Zayin Kattan
cc: Ben Zona
IP: 196.201.83.39

Dear Mr Zayin,
Dear Dr Rabbi,

Very interesting to read from you through this medium and it's my greatest joy for me to read from you and also as Dr Rabbi fulfiled his promise as he finally put me in joyful contact with you because i believe your help i will be perfect in scriptures of the bible in order to become the citizen of the nation of God (Israel).

According to your question to me, I have accept the faith that, My late get me addmission into local bible school and unfortunately she was not alife for me to really steady and continue it perfectly untill i finish, I do i studied Bible both New Testament & Old Testament but not perfect but still under study and i believe in God almighty with your positive help i will now roll in the stream of joy and happiness.

Am now ready for your lecture and questions that will frame me to be perfect in dealings and also in the words of God.

I look forward reading from you as soon as possible.

Thanks,
Best Regards,
Mr William Samuel.
Zayin Kattan
Nov 19, 2008

to: Shmuli
cc: Ben Zona

dear shemueli

if yuo had the studying of the old testment very good yuo shouldnt' having any troubles with the quizz habibi!!!!!!

heres a short quizz because the real quizz is 200 qeustion so i giving yuo some to start as practicing yuo need at list 75% to pass so yuo must start rememenbbering yuor studies you know!!!!!!!!1 its ok if yuo want to aks me any question but i giving yuo the type of question yuo shuold expect

these questions are being answers in BOOK OFJUDGES so please to read the book and send me the anssewers ok!!!!!!!

1. Who was the first judge?
a. Wapner
b. Judy
c. Reinhold
d. Simon Cowell

2. The king that Ehud killed was:
a. Elvis
b. Charles II
c. Don
d. Old King Cole

3. Where did Yavin fight his battle?
a. Waterloo
b. Gettysburg
c. Alamo
d. Waistline

4. Who sang Israel's victory song?
a. Dana International
b. Freddy Mercury
c. Shlomo Artzi
d. Tzipi Livni

5. Where did Delilah come from?
a. Atlanta
b. Atlantis
c. Argentina
d. Alma Ata

6. Gidon's other name was...
a. Steve
b. Lance
c. Shneur Zalman
d. Fifi

7. How many men did Gidon take with him?
a. 0 - he only took women
b. 0 - he only took children
c. 0 - he went by himself
d. 4,301,348

8. Who did Yiftach fight against?
a. the Goflyakites
b. the Meatybites
c. the Vegemites
d. the Erythrocites

9. Why did Yiftach rip his clothing?
a. Caught on a nail
b. Overfeasting
c. Poor quality workmanship
d. Nothing to do after routing the Ammonites
Barrister Owata Dikedjua
Nov 19, 2008

to: Don Clark Edward
cc: Ben Zona

DEAR BARRISTER DON CLARK EDWARD,

COMPLIMENTS OF THE DAY. YOUR MESSAGE HAS BEEN RECEIVED AND ITS CONTENTS WELL UNDERSTOOD. HOPE YOUR FAMILY AND BEAUTIFUL WIFE EVERYONE IS OK HERE UNDER THE EYES OF THE LORD.

DR. RABBI BEN ZONA HE TOLD ME EVERYTHING ABOUT SARMUEL BUT YOU CALL HIM A LITTLE BOY AND I UNDERSTAND HE'S A MAN ALREADY OK OF DISTINGUISHED PERSON OF LONG TIME STUDY AT BIBLE SCHOOL WHO HAS GREAT FUNDS TO TRANSFER BUT NEEDING TO MOVE TO ISRAEL SO DR. RABBI BEN ZONA CAN BECOME HIS ADOPTING FATHER OK DR RABBI BEN ZONA I UNDERSTAND IS HELPING THIS SO CALLED LITTLE BOY PASS HIS TEST FOR CITIZENRY IN ISRAEL BECAUSE TO BECOME A CITIZEN YOU MUST PASS A LONG TEST OF MANY QUESTIONS ABOUT THE BIBLE AND HE SAY THAT IT'S NOT A PROBLEM FOR SARMUEL BECAUSE HE ALREADY WENT TO BIBLE SCHOOL OK.

MY DEAR WHAT KIND OF DOCUMENTS ARE NEEDED FOR THIS I AM HAPPY TO FILL OUT ANY DOCUMENTS THAT DR RABBI BEN ZONA NEEDS AS I HAVE BEEN WORKING IN THIS AREA FOR MANY YEARS.

REPLY ME URGENTLY.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Nov 20, 2008

to: Don Clark Edward

B"H

Dear Barrister Edward,

Funny you should mention the reputability of Barrister Owata Dikedjua - I'm beginning to have my doubts about him. There's a separate deal I'm involved in, and Owata has thus far cost me a fortune, but there always seemed to be a fee for this, fee for that. I'm not sure about his methods - West African law has me a little stumped - but he seems to be producing the necessary paperwork to get things done, so at least he's earning his coin. Had I known how much he'd be costing I probably never would have retained him.

Which brings me back to my question about the Ivorian money laundering law that specifies this transfer fee of which you have spoken. Where exactly on this website you sent me is this information presented? If you present me with the URL with the *exact* law and fee information, I will quite happily transfer to you the 3,000 Euros you require.

Come to think of it, explain to me how also this African law is demanding Euros instead of the local currency? Last time I checked, Cote D'Ivoire isn't a part of the EU. I thought Nigeria was the only African country in the EU. Is Cote D'Ivoire one as well?

It isn't difficult to give you my telephone number; I just choose not to give it to you. I'd prefer this be kept on email so we have official records of everything.
Don Clark Edward
Nov 22, 2008

IP: 213.136.125.180

ATTENTION: DR RABBI BEN,

DEAR SIR,

THE RECEIPT OF YOUR EMAIL IS HIGHLY ACKNOWLEDGES BY ME AND I'M SO MUCH INTERESTING AND CONCERN ON YOUR QUESTIONS TO ME. ANYWAY ACCORDING TO YOUR WORDS CONCERNING YOUR LAWYER IN NIGERIA AS YOU TOLD ME BEFORE HE CONTACTED ME, I DID NOT KNOW WHERE YOU KNOW HIM OR WHAT BROUGHT TWO OF YOU TOGETHER SO ANYTHING IN BETWEEN YOU PEOPLE I CANNOT GET MYSELF INVOLVES MEANWHILE HE CONTACTED ME AS YOU'RE INSTRUCTED HIM TO DO & HE DOES IT OF WHICH I RESPONSE TO HIM WITHOUT FEARS WITH FULL PROVE THAT I AM REAL LAWYER WITH MY FULL CONTACTS BUT HE COULDN'T REVEAL ITSELF OPENLY TO ME AS I DO TO HIM BECAUSE I HAVE NOTHING HIDING IN MY CUPBOARD FOR ANYONE. SOTHEREFORE, I DO NOT NURSE ANY FEAR IN ME BECAUSE THIS IS EIGHTEEN YEARS I AM IN THIS FIELD.

SPLENDIDLY, MY COUNTRY COTE D' IVOIRE AND NIGERIA IS NOT THE SAME LAW NOR GOVERNMENT THAT GUIDE US EACH COUNTRY HAS HIS OWN LAW THAT GUIDE THEM AND THE ONLY INSTITUTIONS THAT GUIDES SIXTEEN COUNTRIES IN WEST AFRICA IS (ECOWAS) ECONOMIC COMMUNITY OF WEST AFRICA STATE. AND (AU) AFRICA UNION AND THAT'S ALL INSTITUTIONS THAT JOIN US TOGETHER AND OTHERS RELATED MATTERS.

ENORMOUSLY DR RABBI, I HAD GIVEN YOU MY WORDS AND PLEASE POINT OF CORRECTION THE AMOUNT FOR THE DOCUMENTS IS NOT €3000EUROS BUT €3500EUROS AND FOR YOUR QUESTION YOU ASKED WHY AFRICA ARE DEMANDING INTERNATIONAL CURRENCY INSTEAD OF THEIR LOCAL CURRENCY LISTEN DR RABBI WE'RE DEALING WITH BOTH INTERNATIONAL AND LOCAL CURRENCY BUT MOSTLY IS INTERNATIONAL CURRENCY OK BECAUSE WE'RE NOT HERE TO CHEAT ANY BODY MEANWHILE WE'RE PRACTICING LAW WE CANNOT COMMIT LAWS INTO OUR HANDS AND TAKE NOTE THAT THIS AMOUNT IS NOT FOR MY POCKET BUT FOR THE DOCUMENT TO OBTAIN FROM THE MINISTRY OF FINANCE BOARD OF INTERNAL REVENUE CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE OF COTE D' IVOIRE. I LIKE TO WORK WITH PERSON LIKE YOU BECAUSE I SEE YOU AS INBORN RABBI.

IMMENSELY, AS THE PARLIAMENT MEMBERS I AM IS NOT THE WHOLE LAWS OF THE FEDERAL REPUBLIC WE AUTHORISE TO BE LUNCH IN THE SITE NOR INTERNET FOR PEOPLE TO READ RATHER WE KEEP IT UNLESS SOMEONE COMMIT CRIME AGAINST IT BEFORE WE QUOTE IT TO JUDGES THE PERSON AND ALSO THIS LAW CONCERN FUND TRANSFERRED WAS ESTABLISHED 28 OCTOBER 2001 LAW ARTICLES 42 SECTION 102 2001 THAT GUIDE FINANCIAL MATTERS IMMEDIATELY AFTER 11 SEPTEMBER 2001 TERRORIST ATTACK (QALEDA ATTACK) IN AMERICA. IN WHICH THAT SAME YEAR THIS COUNTRY SWIMS INTO THE OCEAN OF REBEL AND POLITICAL DESTABILIZATION UPTILL TODAY AS I AM WRITING TO YOU.

AND AGAIN, FOR YOUR TELEPHONE CONTACTS I DO NOT FEEL BAD AS YOU KEEP IT TO YOURSELF BECAUSE YOU LET ME KNOW THE REASON WHY YOU DO SO AND I AM SATISFY WITH IT AND ALSO HAPPY THAT, YOU'RE KEEPING A RECORD OF ALL WHAT WE'RE EXCHANGED TOGETHER BECAUSE I DO THE SAME HERE IN EVERY EMAIL I RECEIVED FROM YOU.

DR RABBI, I AM GIVEN YOU AN ASSURANCE AS REPUTABLE LAWYER THAT IMMEDIATELY THIS AMOUNT IS RECEIVE FROM YOU TO OBTAIN THIS DOCUMENT FROM THE MINISTRY AS THEY DEMAND THIS FUND WILL BE TRANSFER WITHOUT ANY DELAY AND THIS SAME DOCUMENT COVER UP THE TRANSFER FROM INTERRUPTION OF ANY FINANCIAL INSTITUTE NOR MONITORING UNIT SAFELY TO YOUR DESTINATION AND THIS IS ALL I HAVE FOR YOU NOW.

YOURS FAITHFULLY,
BARRISTER DON CLARK EDWARD.
P& B CHAMBER & ASSOCIATES.
Don Clark Edward
Nov 22, 2008

to: Owata Dikedjua
cc: Ben Zona
subject: FROM BARRISTER DON CLARK EDWARD TO BARRISTER O. DIKEDJUA (OWATA).
IP: 213.136.125.180

ATTENTION: LAWYER OWATA,

THANKS FOR YOUR MESSAGE MY BROTHER AND HOW IS NIGERIA I BELIEVE THE COUNTRY IS BUSY EVERYWHERE FOR THE XMAS PREPARATION. THAT IS ALL AS YOU EXPLAINED TO ME IN EMAIL I DID NOT KNOW THAT YOUR CLIENT DR RABBI HAS ALREADY PUT THING IN DETAILS FOR YOU.

MY DEAR COLLEAGUE I WILL LIKE YOU TO FURNISH ME WITH YOUR FULL CONTACTS ADDRESS INCLUDING YOUR TELEPHONE NUMBER FOR AN EASY COMMUNICATION OR YOU REACH ME WITH MY DIRECT LINE +2250729 1274.
Zayin Kattan
Nov 23, 2008

to: Shmuli

dear shemuli,

hav you been trying my short quizz? i am vry anxuious to see yuor answers

i am waiting habibi

zayin kattan
Rabbi Ben Zona
Nov 23, 2008

B"H

Dear Barrister Edward,

You describe a very sad culture in Cote D'Ivoire. If indeed what you say is true, keeping your laws secret from the populace until they're broken doesn't do anything to advance your country out of the Third World.

And my reasons for keeping everything on email is justified in you upping the price of this so-called transfer. Here's what I propose: Peanut & Butter Chambers stake the first € 500 Euros, and I'll see what I can do about the other €3000. Just send me a copy of the receipt when you pay the Ministry of Finance for it. I give you my assurance as a reputable rabbi.
Don Clark Edward
Nov 24, 2008

IP: 41.207.215.79

ATTENTION: DR RABBI,

DEAR SIR,

THANK YOU FOR YOUR MESSAGE AND THE CONTENTS IS HIGHLY COMPREHENDED. AS FACT I HEARD YOUR POINTS AND LET ME TELL YOU DR RABBI IS NOT EVERYTHING THE GOVERNMENT CAN MADE KNOWN TO THE MASSES OR POPULATIONS AND IT DOES NOT AFFECT THE NATION ADVANCING TO THIRD WORLD.

AM NOT AGAINST YOUR WAYS OF DEMANDS BUT LET ME AMPLIFY POINTS OUT TO YOU THAT, AS YOU ASK ME TO CURE THIS €500 AND GET YOU THE RECEIPT AM AGREE WITH YOU IN WHICH I DO, THIS MORNING I WENT TO THE COURT AND PAY THE MONEY TO THE AUTHORITY TO OBTAIN THIS RECEIPT FROM THEM OF WHICH I HAVE ATTACH IT TO YOU INCLUDING MY IDENTITY CARD FOR THE SECOND TIME. THIS MONEY I USE TO PAY IS FOR ONE OF MY CLIENT THAT AM HOLDING HIS CASE AT HAND OF WHICH I WILL BE ON THE BAIL ON WEDNESDAY FOR THE CASE BUT I DECIDE TO USE THE MONEY AND PAY TO GET THING DONE FAST FOR THE TRANSFER TO BE ADVANCE.

OFFICIALLY, NOW IT LEFT FOR YOU TO RUNS THINGS OUT FAST AND CONCRETELY AND YOU WILL SEND ME €3000EUROS FOR ME TO GO TO MINISTRY OF FINANCE BOARD OF INTERNAL REVENUE TO OBTAIN CLEARANCE CERTIFICATE TO SEND TO YOU TO FILL UP WITH ALL YOUR DEMANDING INFORMATION'S AND SEND IT BACK TO ME HERE IN ORDER TO GO AND SUBMIT IT TO THE MINISTRY BEFORE WE EFFECT THE TRANSFER IMMEDIATELY WITHOUT DELAY INTO YOUR NOMINATED ACCOUNT IN ISRAEL. I ASSURE YOU WITH MY AUTHORITY AS REPUTABLE LAWYER THERE'LL BE NO OTHERS EXPENSES CONCERNING THIS TRANSFER AGAIN.

PRECISELY, AFTER SUCCESSFUL TRANSFER, YOU WILL NOW SEND ME MY CONSULTATION FEE A LONG WITH THIS €500 AS SOON AS THE FUND CLEARS IN YOUR ACCOUNT IN ISRAEL . DR RABBI YOU HAVE TO BE FAST IN DEALINGS BECAUSE NOW EVERYTHING IS IN YOUR HANDS AND I WANT THIS FUND TO BE TRANSFER THIS WEEK UNFAILINGLY BECAUSE THERE'S NOTHING DIFFICULT ON THE LINE ANY MORE THAN YOU DOING THE PAYMENT OF €3000 FOR OBTAINING THE DOCUMENT FROM THE MINISTRY THAT WILL AUTHORISE BANK TO CARRY ON THE TRANSFER EFFECTIVELY.

SURPRISINGLY, AS I JUST RETURN FROM THE COURT THIS MORNING AS I WENT TO PAY THE MONEY IN ORDER TO OBTAIN THE RECEIPT, SAMUEL CAME TO MY OFFICE AND IT QUIET LONG TIME I DON'T SEE HIM IN PERSON ONLY ON PHONE SOMETIME AND HE TOLD ME THAT, HE WAS NAP DOWN BY MALARIA IT JUST GETTING BETTER NOW AND FROM THERE, I SHOW HIM THE RECEIPT AND ALSO LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU AS HIS GUARDIAN ARE TRYING IN EVERY WAY TO TRANSFER HIS FUND AND IT WAS VERY HAPPY THAT HE WILL BE IN ISRAEL HIS DREAM COUNTRY UNFAILING BEGINNING OF NEXT MONTH AND HE ALSO TOLD ME THAT, THE MAN YOU PUT HIM IN CONTACT WITH FOR THE BIBLE STUDY IS DOING WELL TOO.

DR RABBI, AS I TOLD YOU AND I AM GIVING YOU AN ASSURANCE THAT IMMEDIATELY I HAVE THE RECEPTION OF THIS MONEY I WILL OBTAIN THE DOCUMENT AS THE LAW COMMAND HERE TO SENT IT TO YOU TO FILL AND SEND BACK TO ME THE SAME DAY AND ONE COPY WILL REMAIN WITH YOU & AND ONE IN THE MINISTRY, ONE WITH ME AND FINALLY ONE TO THE BANK AND THE TRANSFER WILL EFFECT INSTANTANEOUSLY AND THAT IS ALL I HAVE FOR YOU.


[A Ghanaian MP? Very poor lad quality assurance. He'll have to pay for that one.]

Samuel aka Larry Williams
Nov 24, 2008

to: Zayin Kattan
subject: I'M VERY SOORY FOR DELAY MASTER ZAYIN.
IP: 41.207.204.228

Dear Master Zayin,

I'm very sorry for the delay to your message due to my present sickness malaria that have been kept me down almost week now and i'm just forcing myself to response to this questions and i had to let you know that i didn't even spend one month in bible before the sickness becomes worst in which i stop the school before i took my death mother to village for the treatment and a long the line, She gave up to ghost.

Actually, My appreciation to you and my initiator Dr Rabbi for the future guarantee you people are building for me and i want you to lecture step by steps please and what i do ont know you shouldn't angry with me because i do not have more knowledge about it but i pray Almighty God to seal me throughout this moment of my study with you.

1.) Who was the first judge? The anwser is Judy.
2.) The king that Ehud killed was? The anwser is King Eglon.
3.) Where did Yavin fight his battle? The anwser is Gettysburg
4.) Who sang Israel's victory song?The anwser is Moses
5.) Where did Delilah come from? The anwser is Palestine
6.) Gidon's other name was? Jerub-Baal.
7. How many men did Gidon take with him? The anwser is Three Hundred Men.
8. Who did Yiftach fight against? The anwser is The bnei Ammon.
9. Why did Yiftach rip his clothing? The anwser is he set his cloths on fire.

Please my master Zayin this is all i can do on this note looking foard hearing from you soon.

Thanks,
Mr Wialliam Samuel.

[Judy? Silly boy - Wapner had 15 years on her.]

Samuel aka Larry Williams aka William Samuel
Nov 24, 2008

IP: 41.207.204.228

Dear Zayin,

I just received this message this evening and i still apologise for the delay please and i expect another test from you as soon.

Thanks,
Mr William Samuel.
Don Clark Edward
Nov 25, 2008

subject: BARRISTER DON CLARK EDWARD. TO DR BEN RABBI.
IP: 213.136.119.233

ATTENTION: DR RABBI BEN ZONA.

DEAR SIR,

I WAS CARRY AWAY WITH MUCH CASE FILES IN MY TABLE YESTERDAY MORNING ESPECIALLY WHEN I SEND YOU AN EMAIL WITH THE ATTACHMENT OF THE RECEIPT TO YOU YESTERDAY, I FORGET TO INCLUDE THE NAME OF THE CHAMBER ACCOUNTANT YOU'LL SENT MONEY TO VIA WESTERN UNION OR MONEY GRAM FOR FAST COLLECTION. AND PLEASE TRY TO BE PUNCTUAL IN DEALING AND BELOW IS THE INFORMATION OF THE CHAMBERS ACCOUNTANT AS FOLLOW:

USE THE NAME OF OUR ACCOUNT'S OFFICER TO SEND THE MONEY:
FIRST NAME: AMOS
LAST NAME: CHINEDU
CITY: ABIDJAN
ADDRESS: AVENUE 10B RUE 21 DU COMMERCE PLATEAU
COUNTRY: COTE D'IVOIRE
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Nov 27, 2008
subject: Dr Rabbi try to contact barrister for t
IP: 196.201.93.74

Dear Dr Rabbi,

Very long time you did not write to me only my teacher was contact me about twice last week and i am expecting his message with another questions for the preparations to gain Israel citizenship.

I call barrister Don Clark this morning before i went down to his office and he explain to me that, he conclude his preparation with you to transfer the fund and he still waiting for your message, So please Dr Rabbi try and settle it out with him please i go on my knee begging you.

I expect your wonderful message.

Thanks,
Mr William Samuel.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Nov 27, 2008

B"H

Dear Shmuli,

Sorry for not having responded; have been a bit busy on my end. Chaya Mushka is expecting another baby so I'll be a bit tied up until early next week.
Don Clark Edward
Nov 27, 2008

IP: 196.201.89.90

ATTENTION : DR RABBI BEN ZONA.

DEAR SIR,

I WRITE TO RE-CONFIRME TO YOU THAT I HAD FULFIL MY OWN PART OF PAYMENT YOU ASKED ME TO SORT IT OUT AND YOU WILL TAKE CARE OF YOUR PART TO OBTAIN THE DOCUMENT FROM THE MINISTRY OF FINANCE BOARD OF INTERNAL REVENUE AND TO PROVE YOURSELF AS REPUTABLE RABBI BUT UPTILL NOW I NEVER HEAR FROM YOU AND WHAT ARE YOU PLANNING OR DOING ABOUT THE TRANSFER BECAUSE WE ARE NOW ON THE LAST PROCEEDING TO EFFECT THE TANSFER OF THE FUND INTO YOUR BANK ACCOUNT IN ISRAEL.

I DRAW YOU THIS LITTLE NOTE FOR REMINDER TO BE READY TO FINALIZE EVERYTHIING BY NEXT WEEK AND SAMUEL CAME TO MY OFFICE THAT, HE RECEIVE AN EMAIL FROM YOU BUT I WAS NOT CHANCE AND TIME TO ASK HIM ANYTHING I RATHER ASK HIM TO VISIT ME LATER IF HE HAS TIME AND ALSO IT WAS VERY MUCH HAPPY AND EXCITED.
Samuel aka Larry Williams aka Milliam Samuel
Nov 27, 2008

subject: I WAIT FOR YOUR MESSAGE.
to: Zayin Kattan
IP: 196.201.93.74

Dear Mr Zayin,

I sent you message and i believe you receive my message aswell and what is happening i never hear from you since. Please try and reach out to me with others question as you told me on email last time.

I wait for you and have nice day.

Thanks,
Milliam Samuel.
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Nov 28, 2008

subject: THANKS FOR YOUR MESSAGE.
to: Ben Zona
IP: 196.201.65.34

Dear Dr Rabbi,

Am glad to read from you this morning because i was worry over your non response to me and i didn't know that you're occupy with another mission at hands. Fine as i read from you and i went to barrister today and meet with him in his office but there was no time for him to attend to me and he said that i should try to see him before weekend.

I pray everything should take his normal shape by early next week by the grace of God i count on you in all.

I look forward reading from you soonest.

Thanks,
Brother William Samuel.
Zayin Kattan
Dec 1, 2008

to: Shmuli

dear shemueili

yuo did doing vry well on yuor test habibi!!!!! i will sned yuo anohter one shortly. in the mantime i wnating yuo to read the book of SHMOT (exodus), and concnterating on the last redings of the bok

zayin kattan
Barrister Owata Dikedjua
Dec 2, 2008

to: Don Clark Edward

MY DEAR,

COMPLIMENTS OF THE DAY YOUR MESSAGE HAS BEEN RECEIVED AND THE CONTENTS WELL UNDERSTOOD OK WELL I TOLD RABBI BEN TO EXPLAIN TO ME EVERYTHING AND HE DID SO I KNOW WHAT IS GOING ON WITH (samuel william mr). RABBI BEN HE DOES NOT LIKE TALKING ON THE PHONE ABOUT THESE MODALITIES HE HAS NEVER SPOKEN TO ME ON THE PHONE OK BUT I DID MEET HIM IN ISRAEL A FEW MONTHS AGO AS HE PREFERS EVERYTHING WRITTEN DOWN IN AN EMAIL OK SO HE CAN HAVE EASY ACCESS TO KEEPING TRACK OF HIS CORRESPONDENCE ON THIS MATTERS AND OTHER MATTERS OK.

MY BROTHER, HE HAS NOT WRITTEN ME FOR SOME TIME AS HIS WIFE IS HAVING ANOTHER BABY BECAUSE HE HAS A VERY LARGE FAMILY WITH A LOT OF WONDERFUL CHILDREN THIS IS WHY HE WANTS TO ADOPT YOUR LITTLE SAMUEL OK.
Samuel aka Larry Williams, etc.
Dec 3, 2008

subject: I WAIT FOR YOUR MESSAGE.
to: Zayin Kattan
IP: 213.136.117.159

Dear Mr Zayin,

I thank you so much for your recommendation and the appreciation and my my kind respect and honour goes to you as my teacher and i also promise to be obedient and then, As you said i should be reading the book of samuel and exodus and prepare for the next quizz.

Please sir, Try and get intouch with Dr Rabbi that i want to read from him and i look forward hearing from you as soon as you receive my email.

Best Regards,
Mr William Samuel.
Zayin Kattan
Dec 3, 2008

to: Shmuli

ok shmeuil here goes the second quiz, all from the book of SHMOT (exodus)

1. Select all that apply. From the choices in the following list, which are punishable by death?
a. Expectorating
b. Extrapolating
c. Double parking
d. Not replacing the toilet roll

2. Select all that apply. What should happen if a man's ox attacks a slave?
a. Get a new matador
b. Much laughter ensues
c. The slave gets hurt
d. The ox is made to wear a bell

3. What was the ephod made of?
a. Velveeta
b. Tofu
c. Hummus
d. Turpentine

4. What part of the bull is used as a sin-offering?
a. Big toe
b. Large intestine
c. Beak
d. Gills

5. Select all that apply. What were the most significant spices in the oil used for anointing?
a. Garam masala
b. Garlic powder
c. Old Spice
d. Posh Spice

6. How much is a bekah worth?
a. approximately $4.29
b. approximately 6 zlotys
c. approximately 2 in the bush
d. as much as the paper it's printed on

7. What rested on the Mishkan by day?
a. A dozen pigeons
b. Tired Israelites
c. Moses' cocker spaniel
d. Miriam's whites load

8. Which was the deadliest plague brought upon the Egyptians?
a. Yeast infection
b. Paper cuts
c. Post nasal drip
d. Athlete's foot

9. What did the Egyptians do with all the dead frogs?
a. Fed them to their pet asps
b. Built a new pyramid
c. Created new loincloths
d. Sauteed them in garlic butter
Don Clark Edward

[this arrived in 36 pt font, so he's got to be a bit peeved]

Dec 4, 2008

from: Don Clark Edward <don_clarklawfrm@yahoo.fr> [note new email address]
to: Ben Zona
subject: FROM BARRISTER DON CLARK EDWARD TO DR BEN ZONA.
IP: 196.201.89.90

ATTENTION : DR BEN ZONA,

DEAR SIR,

IT'S A GREAT SHOCK TO ME THAT UNTILL THIS PERIOD OF TIME YOU DID NOT WRITE TO TELL ME THE ACTUAL PROBLEM THAT KEEPS YOU DELAYING CONTACTING ME SINCE A WEEK PLUS NOW.

I RESPONSED TO YOUR LAST MESSAGE TO ME AND I DID THE PAYMENT OF €500 EUROS TO THE HIGH COURT OF JUSTICE OF WHICH I SEND THE RECEIPT AS YOU WERE DEMAND AND ALSO WAIT ON YOU TO PROVE YOURSELF AS REPUTABLE RABBI ACCORDING TO YOUR WORDS TO ME AND SINCE THEN, YOU KEEP EVERYTHING IN SUSPEND UPTILL THIS MOMENT AND MR SAMUEL IS IN NOW IN GOOD FORM AND ALSO DOING QUIET WELL IN BIBLE QUIZZ FROM MR ZAYIN.

DR RABBI, IT'S YOUR TIME TO PUT THINGS IN ORDER BY SENDING THIS €3000 EUROS TO MY CHAMBER SECRETARY IN ORDER TO OBTAIN THIS DOCUMENT FROM THE MINISTRY OF FINANCE BOARD OF INTERNAL REVENUE TO ENABLE THE BANK TO TRANSFER THE FUND FERVENTLY.

AND YOU HAVE TO BE FAST BEFORE THE WHOLE MINISTRIAL GO ON CHRISTMAS VANCANCE AND AGAIN WITH PRESIDENTIAL ELCETION COMING UP THIS ENDING OF THE MONTH TOO.

I BELIEVE I MADE MYSELF CLEAR DR RABBI.
Rabbi Ben Zona

[I responded in 72 pt font. Tee hee!]

Dec 4, 2008

B”H

Barrister Edward,

I am a bit dismayed by your tone and your font size. Please choose your words carefully when dealing with me in the future. As if it's any of your business, my wife is having a baby. I will deal with your modalities at a convenient time.

Incidentally, the next time you write a message like this one, I'll see to it that Shmuli hire a new barrister. Don't tempt me.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Dec 4, 2008

cc: Owata Dikedjua

B"H

Dear Shmuli,

Mazal tov! My wife has given birth to a young daughter! I'm deciding to name her Anna in honour of your late mother. Did she have a middle name?

Zayin Kattan tells me you're making great progress with your tuition. Keep it up!

I'll also have you know that I'm having second thoughts about your lawyer. Might I suggest that you retain the services of my barrister. Though he's based in Nigeria, he's well aware of the West African legal systems. If you can manage to get yourself over to Lagos, I'll see that you're well looked after.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Dec 4, 2008

to: Don Clark Edward

B"H

DEAR SIR,

What is your country of birth?
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Dec 5, 2008

subject: THANKS FOR YOUR MESSAGE.
IP: 213.136.125.150

Dear Dr Rabbi,

Thank you Dr Rabbi for your response to my mail and am very glad to hear from you that your lovely wife has put to birth to bouncing baby girl and also interesting part of it you name after my late mother and i do not know what to give you, but i pray God guiding and love to continue reign in your family.

My greeting to your lovely wife and the kids. Concerning the issue of barrister Don Clark i heard all what you said and i stand and appologise on behalf of him to forgive you and secondly, In this nation the man is very important icon great men talks about him that is very good and hard working in everything is doing and he love helping people especially contributing to orphans in the orphanage camp in a city called (Acoudo village).

My late mother second name is "Patricia" native name " Imaobong" means love of God.

Once upon a time barrister Don Clark told me about your lawyer in Nigeria that you put him in contact with and the man has been writing to him in person and they're very good friends indeed and as you said, i prefer to stay here than going to any country in Africa till you took me out here to Israel my dream country to spent my life time.

Immediately i receive this mail from you this evening i call him and tell him of this progress and from there he told me that he received an email from you that you annoy with him that,the way he use to address you that you do not like it that tomorrow he will get intouch with you. Mr Zayin send to me today NINE QUESTIONS to anwser of which i will do that and get back to him within this weekend.

Dr Rabbi, You shouldn't be annoy with lawyer Don Clark just forgive him because he said that he didn't know that, you're occupy in family matters that is very sorry for that.

Thanks you Dr Rabbi wile am looking forward to read from you soonest.

Best Regards,
Mr Samuel William.
Don Clark Edward
Dec 5, 2008

from: Don Clark Edward <don_clarklawfrm@yahoo.fr>
subject: FROM BARRISTER DON CLARK EDWARD TO DR RABBI BEN ZONA
IP: 196.201.88.97

ATTENTION: DR RABBI BEN ZONA, DEAR SIR,

I RECEIVED YOUR MESSAGE YESTERDAY WITH JOY AS SPITE THAT, YOU WERE WRITING TO ME WITH ANNOYANCE COMPLAINING THE WAY I USE TO ADDRESS YOU, YOU DO NOT LIKE IT OK AM ACCEPTED MY FAITH NO PROBLEM I AM SORRY FOR IT.

ANYWAY, I GLORIFY THE NAME OF GOD FOR EVERYTHING GOD HAS MADE IT POSSIBLE YOUR WIFE HAS PUT BIRTH TO NEW BABY GIRL BECAUSE CHILDREN ARE GIFT FROM GOD AND GIVES JOY AND I REJOICE WITH YOU.

ACTUALLY, THERE IS NO PROBLEM ON THE LINE I WAS JUST TRYING TO KNOW WHAT KEEPS YOU DELAY ON THE TRANSFER PROCESS BECAUSE I HAD ALREADY COMMITTED MYSELF ON IT AND SECONDLY, ELECTION IS COMING UP ENDING OF THIS MONTH AND NO ONE KNOW HOW THINGS WILL BE OR END BUT AS YOU SAID I LIVE YOU TO YOUR CONVENIENT TIME.
Barrister Owata Dikedjua
Dec 6, 2008

to: Shmuli

HELLO SHMUILI,

COMPLIMENTS OF THE DAY. HOW ARE YOU AND YOUR LOVELY FAMILY? HOPE FINE. HOW IS BUSINESS OK?

NOW THEN IF YOU COME TO LAGOS MY DEAR I AM HAPPY TO MEET YOU AND TAKE YOU ONE AS MY CLIENT OK FOR DR RABBI HE SAYS YOUR LAWYER IS UNTRUSTWORTHY AND HE IS AN IMPATIENT FELLOW THAT DOES NOT HAVE CURTESIES TO TALK TO PEOPLE NICELY YOU'LL FIND THAT I AM AN EXCELLENT BARRISTER AND LAWYER AND AM A VERY IMPORTANT MAN HERE IN LAGOS OK.
FOR THE FAMILY,
BARRISTER O. DIKEDJUA (OWATA)
ODAMWATA FUKWICHUA CHAMBERS
Rabbi Ben Zona
Dec 9, 2008

B"H

Dear Shmuli,

I've named her "Anna Imaobong Zona". So you know, she was born 3.32 kg and has lovely blue eyes. Mother and her multitude of siblings are doing well. May your dear mother's spirit live on in Israel. Now we are all here awaiting your arrival!

How are your Bible quizzes going? I must say I haven't spoken to Zayin Kattan for a while. We were supposed to meet last week but I couldn't find him, as he doesn't stick out too much.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Dec 9, 2008

B"H

Barrister Edward,

I don't give a flying onion bissli how iconic you portend to be. I will not be spoken to in that tone ever again. Consequently, you will pay the remainder of the 3,000 Euros or I shall see to it that my barrister will take up the case.

I repeat, what is your country of birth?
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Dec 10, 2008

subject: THANKS FOR YOUR MESSAGE.
IP: 41.207.204.83

Dear Dr Rabbi,

May the good Lord render his infinite blessing and guide upon the new born baby Anna Imaobong "MY MOTHER" I thank God for all his mercy for making it possible for the memory of my late mother to remain in Israel.And again My warmest greeting goes to the rest of my siblings and your wonderful wife untill my arrival.

Dr Rabbi, Well after the muslim celebration of which they was no work throughout in the country yesterday and this morning when i was reading bible to get the answers to my quizz from Mr Zayin this morning my phone ring and i pick the calls it was secretary to Barrister Don Clark that, He said i should report in his office without wasting time and i was afraid i do as he commanded and by getting there, I waited in the reception untill he finished with his cleint and he call on me to come inside and meet him in person and he begins to explained to me that, They insulting words he received from you is ok that, you should stop using nasty words on him when writing to him and he can never tell you his country of birth because is an insult before him and there's nothing bad as you deceived him to use €500 euros of cleint to pay for the receipt and send to you that it takes everything in to the hands of God.

Actually, I was begging him to forget about everything that he started the job let him and exercise patient and finished the transaction concretely and forget the pass so that, we can excel forward in the process of the transaction because i know all that is the work of the devil because satan know that, Everything is in position to conclude the transfer and you Dr Rabbi let the pass tense go and let us look for what we're holding at hands to finished.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Dec 13, 2008

B"H

Dear Shmuli,

We're all tickled with little Anna Imaobong. What does "Imaobong" mean?

Now, regarding your lawyer: I have never once used insulting nor nasty words toward him. I was merely asking what country he was born in, as I have some suspicions about his character. I didn't realize that it was a social taboo merely to inquire as to the country of one's birth. I feel I had to, though, as quite frankly, I don't think he is who he claims to be. I'm pride myself somewhat good at picking fictional characters, and your Barrister Don Clark Edward doesn't seem like the real deal.

Along the same lines, in light of these allegations that I'm "insulting", use "nasty words", and that I "deceived him", I wish to secure no further correspondence from this so-called lawyer, no matter how supposedly iconic he may be. May I suggest once again to retain my barrister, Owata Dikedjua (I'm cc'ing him on this email). Would it be easier if I arrange for Owata or his secretary to meet you in Cote D'Ivoire? His popularity is notorious; I attach his picture.

Barrister Owata Dikedjua
Dec 14, 2008

Dear Shmuli,

TOP OF THE DAY AND COMPLIMENTS OF THE SEASON OK.

DR RABBI IS RIGHT AS YOU ARE ONLY A SMALL CHILD AS BARRISTER DON EDWARD PUTS TO YOU OK I ARGREE WITH DR RABBI AS I DON'T HAVE ANY IDEA WHY YOU TRUST SOMEONE FROM GHANA TO LOOK AFTER YOUR MATTERS. I DO THINK THAT THERE ARE AN AWFUL MANY NUMBER OF SCARMERS IN THE REGION LOOKING JUST TO TAKE YOUR MONEY OK ALOT OF THEM HEAR THAT YOU HAVE SOME EXTRA FUNDS AND THEY COME TO APPROACH YOU WITH THEIR HANDS OUT WAITING FOR PAYMENT BUT THEY DON'T DO ANY WORK IN THE MEANTIME AND TAKE ALL YOUR MONEY OK.

I ASSURE YOU MY DEAR THAT I HAVE BEEN WORKING IN THE COURTS FOR BOTH NIGERIA AND COTE DIVIORE AND ALSO TOGO AND SOME TIME SENEGAL BECAUSE I HAVE COURSINS AND BUSINESS ASSORCIATES THERE AND A FREIND IN TOGO ALSO SO I DO SOME WORK FOR HIM TOO.

NOW YOU GO AHEAD AND ASK DR RABBI ABOUT MY REPUTATION AS AN HONEST MAN AND A GOOD LAWYER AS I HAVE ALREADY TAKEN A FLIGHT TO ISRAL TO STAY WITH THE DR RABI BEN ZONA AND HIS WIFE AND MANY CHILDERN AND HE CAN SAY I AM A GOOD MAN SEE FOR YOURSELF OK AS THE GOOD DR RABBI SAYS I CAN SEND MY SECRETARY TO COTE DIVORE TO MEET YOU AND DISCUSS THE FORMALITIES TO GET YOU OUT OF COTE DIVORE AND ONTO ISRAEL OR YOU CAN COME OVER AND MEET ME IN LAGOS OK.

GET BACK TO ME URGENTLY THE BALL IS IN YOUR COURT OK.
Zayin Kattan
Dec 14, 2008

to: Shmuli

dear shmueli

i am still waitening from yuor ansers on the qiuzz habibi. are you am are findnig it too dificulty??????

zayin kattan
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Dec 15, 2008

subject: THANKS FOR YOUR MESSAGE.
to: Ben Zona
IP: 213.136.119.136

Dear Dr Rabbi,

Thank you once again for naming your lovely daugther after my lovely mother for her memory to continue be remember and (IMAOBONG) means (LOVE OF GOD).

I had all what you stated down to me concerning Barrister Don Clark Edward , Dr i want you to understand that, the man is here in Cote d' Ivoire and he's prominent Icon and the way you use to write to me and the words you use on him is not proper because if someone else use it on you me particularly i will never be happy with such person.

Your lawyer in Nigeria contacted me yesterday and i response to him this morning and i must be very clear to you that , That man knows nothing concerning the law of my country and he never come here or have the picture of anything here and i charges you to pave him out of this transfer and let Don Clark finish his duty because he has already started because Owata is notorious and populairty is in his own country not here and i believe in me that, the man can never show face here because he only accepted it to eat your money you will sent to him in transportation to my country, Am not a kid we knows ourselves as an Africa.

Particularly, Forget the issue that he visited you in Isreal and that is not the truth picture that he will come to my country nor his secretary as you said.

Secondly, Dr Rabbi, We should forget and forgive Don Clark to carry on his job to the end and forget about the past and head on with future and i look forward reading from you soonest.

Thanks,

Best Regards,
William Samuel.
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Dec 15, 2008

subject: THANKS FOR YOUR MESSAGE.
to: Owata Dikedjua

Dear Mr Owata,

Thank you for your message and love to me.I read your message and the contents is well understood. You talks about that you're probate lawyer that works round the west coasts fine with your contacts and awareness.

Actually as the matter of fact, I had lawyer here that handling thing well in the way i want but i don't actually know what is happening on the line Dr Rabbi want to pack him out of this transaction and notwithstandings, Others lawyer are here i know but i do not want to call any into this affair of mine rather i prefer lawyer Don Clark to continue his job he has already started to the end. And as you said Dr Rabbi invited you into this affair is not bad but before i will get to do anything with you on this note you have to alert me with Chamber Address where is located in Lagos including your telephone number because some one is coming to Lagos for shilo in Winners Chapel Ministry that she will like to visit your place in lagos to witness everything before i will accept your offer to join you up in lagos and also you to handle my affairs.

I believe you get my points i listed out for you this morning and hava nice working day.
Samuel aka Larry Williams aka William Samuel
Dec 15, 2008

subject: EVERYTHING WILL BE OK THIS WEEK.
to: Zayin Kattan

Dear Mr Zayin,

Am very sorry for the delay please and is not that the questions is too difficult for me but i was going to my village and i came back this morning and i will try all my possible to get response to the questions and email it to you within the week.

Thanks,
Mr William Samuel.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Dec 16, 2008

B"H

Dear Shmuli,

Imaobong is definitely an appropriate name for our little angel. I can't wait for you to come down and meet her.

Barrister Dikedjua has assured me that he knows all the laws of Cote D'Ivoire. What do you mean eat my money? He has proven invaluable in other sets of dealings I've had from that part of the world. As I've told you before, I'm an important businessman as well as an educator. I can quickly gain a sense of who's telling the truth and who isn't.

Are you sure this Barrister Don Edward has credentials? Is he a political man as well, or just a barrister? And why is it insulting that I cannot know his country of birth?

> "Particularly, Forget the issue that he visited you in Isreal and that is not the truth picture that he will come to my country nor his secretary as you said."

I'm also not sure which particular issue you'd like me to forget exactly, nor what your point is. Nor, for that matter, what the sentence means.

Also, Zayin Kattan is pulling some strings for me to get things done. We talked this morning and he said he's still waiting for your answers on some quiz he sent over a week ago. Although he's only a small appendage in the ministry, without him nothing flows. I suggest you get him some answers, and quickly. I'm a patient man, but Zayin is not, and if you cannot get citizenship, I'm afraid I can no longer be of assistance to the current transaction. Urethra in this deal, or your not.
Zayin Kattan
Dec 16, 2008

to: Shmuli

sheulmi please to cme back to me with answers righht awy!!!!!!!
Rabbi Ben Zona
Dec 21, 2008

B"H

Dear Shmuli,

Little Anna Imaobong is getting stronger every day. I can't wait for her to meet her half-brother from Cote D'Ivoire!

I haven't heard from you in about a week. Is everything OK?
Samuel aka Larry Williams

[new email address - explains the delay?]

Dec 22, 2008

subject: APPOLOGISE FOR THE DELAY.
IP: 41.207.28.191

Dear Dr Rabbi,

Thank you so much for the concern and the information you're loaded me with and not that i stay idle and feel unconcern to write to you, It due to my engagement in our annual convention and crusade that across the city of Abidjan i couldn't even have time for myself nor responding to the email of Mr Zayin but today after church service i have response to his Quizz aswell waiting for the result from him.

Dr without you telling me am very anxcious to see Imabong and the rest members of the family aswell and nothing will stop me doing that so soon. Concerning your lawyer in Nigeria i wouldn't want him to involves in this transaction because i do not see any reason is hiding his identity from me of which i do asked him several times and it always caught me out of that side am not a kids for him to ride on my head, I don't want him rather let Don Clark continue on his job because he has already started so let him finish his duty and again he is here with me in the city of which if anything goes wrong with the transfer i can easily get him nail and without wasting time. People from that country Nigeria is not in my diary to write anything on with them.

I do asked him just common address of his chamber that i had sister same town with my late mother that, they are holding ' SHILO' in winner chapel ministry in Nigeria so that the sister can easily go and visit his chamber to know whether he is existing, He bluntly refuse to reach me since and even i gave him my number to call me he couldn't call or release his contact for that i have nothing to do with him at all in my down life because am not ready to live here to Lagos and my God bears me witness that, I only hoping to live this place striaght to Israel and nothing more than that.

Officially, Barrister Don Clark Edward is practising lawyer and not politician and i told you before that he is very kind and tolerance man and he has fears of God in him in everything is doing and give respect to little and big without looking at their seize of anyone. Don Clark came from Ghana and the mother from Cote d' Ivoire and he school in Ghana and London and when he returned from London he decided to resided here in Abidjan to practise his law carrer with the influence of his uncle that was the formar Prime Minister of this country.

And secondly Dr Rabbi, As i tell you now everything is in your hand to act for the barrister Don Clark to obtain the documents from the ministry to carry on the transfer without wasting time because this is what delay everything upto today and i will try to go to the bank tomorrow to tell them about this progress and i want you to forget the pass whatsoever happened between you & Don Clark in order to advance this transaction please.

Dr Rabbi, I want to reach you on phone if you don't mind to hear your voice and i look unto you as soon as you receive this mail.

Thanks,
Mr William Samuel.
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Dec 22, 2008

subject: AM VERY SORRY SIR.
to: Ben Zona
IP: 41.207.28.191

Dear Zayin,

Thanks for your patience on me because i was really choke up in the sense i cannot even have chance to read the bible inorder to answer the questions due to our annual convention and crusade here and then in the city of Abidjan.

1) What should happen if the man's ox attack a slaves? If the bull kill a male or female slaves, it's owner shall pay the owner of the slave thirty pieces of silver and the bull shall be stoned to death.

2) What was the Ephod made of? The Ephod was woven of out gold, blue, purple, and scarlet, threads and was made of finelinen.

3) What part of bull is used as a sin-offering? Internal parts organs, liver, kidney, fat; skin, flesh,and intestine and head.

4) Whatwere the most significant spiece in the oil used of anointing? Finest spicces six kilogramme of liquid myrrh, three kilogramme of sweet smelling cinnamon, three kilogramme of sweet-smelling cane and six kilogramme of cassia.

5) How much is Bekah worth? $1069.

6) What rested on the mishkan by day? They have six days to work but seventh day is to be sacred, who work that day stoned to death.

7) Which was the deadliest plague brought upon the Egyptians? It turned the rivers bank into blood and the fished was died and smelt badly and water becomes blood even in the wooden tubs and stone jars.

8) What did the Egyptians do with all the dead frog? Egyptians piled them up in great heaps untill the land stank with them.

9) Double parking .

Am i apologise once more time for keeping you waiting for the response and i look forward hearing from you so soon.

[note to self: don't double park in the Sinai]

Barrister Owata Dikedjua
Dec 22, 2008

to: Shmuli

SAY WETIN DID U WRITE DIS BOUT MI NA DEN TEL DR. RABBI DAT I DEY NO GUUD, GUYMAN? WETIN KAIN OF AFRICAN BI U? IVE SEEN UR TYPE ALL OVA ,NA U DEY ALL NO GUUD. KEEP AWAY FOR MI OR ILL KOM LOOK FO U JIBITI OOO

E MONI DEY ALL MINE ,OK ?IVE ALREADY GOT OVA $25,000 NA DERE LOTS MORE FO KOM.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Dec 22, 2008

B"H

Dear Shmuli,

Good to hear from you, and Happy Hannukah! Today we are celebrating the Festival of Lights, or alternately, the Festival of Oil. We commemorate the time when the Temple stood, and the Jews withstood a Greek attack by the evil Antiochus. As the Jews were hemmed in, there was only enough oil to light the menorah for one day, but by miracle, the oil lasted for eight days. Now we celebrate by eating potato pancakes (latkes), and traditionally they are supposed to contain enough oil such that if you light one, it's supposed to burn for eight whole days. This is another of Chaya Mushka's specialties: we can supply our own light for a month after a batch of her crispy delights. No wonder my oldest 6 children have become dermatologists.

Re hiding behind identities: It is not my barrister who you should be concerned with. I have spoken with him many times, as have my wife and children - nearly every day I hear his voice, in fact. Owata Dikedjua may be incredibly ironic at times, but really is of no concern. It is your "barrister", Shmuli, who isn't really a barrister, but a Ghanaian Member of Parliament, as he says so himself. I fail to see how the man can be both an MP and a barrister in two separate countries. Just like the flatulent puffin, it smells a bit fishy.

What is the Shilo celebration?
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Dec 24, 2008

subject: HAPPY CELEBRATION TO YOU DR RABBI.
IP: 41.207.28.183

Dear Dr Rabbi,

It's my pleasure to read from you this day of tuesday been 23/12/2008 and how is the condition of the house over there and i think that i am missing out something but i believe with God i will the part of the family so soon before second week of january.

I wish you and the entire family especially my lovely mother Imabong happy festival week and also my respect & honour goes to you Dr Rabbi as the good father that brought six able childrens to the level of becoming Dermatologists. Infact is very interesting and great honour to you and your family as the whole as the matter of fact i describe it as the (MARK OF HISTORY).

Officially, Your so call lawyer in Nigeria is writing nonsense to me because i told you the truth and you relate to him and from there he blast me with words and that is not my problem because my God bears me witness that i was only telling the truth and nothing but the truth.

Concerning the issue of barrister Don Clark as i narrated everything to you in details according to my previous message, He was not Prime Minister it was his uncle that trained him in school home & abraod was the once prime minister that brought him to worked and established here in Cote d' Ivoire as honourable barrister. For (Shilo) is the end of the year convention of Winner Chapel Ministry hold in Nigeria of which all branches in the whole world use to fellowship there every december of the year.

As told you in my message on sunday when i response to you that i will go to the bank on monday i went to bank here yesterday to meet with the director of the bank and we desussed in confident and still made me to understand that, Bank is waiting for barrister Don Clark to present the document as the ministry of finance demand before the transfer will takes place and they didn't hear from Barrister again and what is going on and i made him to know that everything in is in progress and he gave me his final words that, The door is open for us. Sotherefore Dr Rabbi, Everything is in your hands and i told you that, Count your lawyer out of this transaction and let us continue it with lawyer Don Clark because he knows the root of everything here please Dr because keeping this transfer like this time and tide wait for no one please that is what i want you to know because if some one tell me that this set transfer will consume time like this i could've not belive it at all.

Actually Dr Rabbi, I am tire of tarring here in Abidjan and let us continue with lawyer Don Clark and i promise you that you will not have any regret about him or the transfer to any problem and that is the main reason they demand for the documents to cover up everything and Dr try to understand and agree with me please. For changing my email address as you demand is because i got to know that people get intouch with it and i have to force myself to change it because i use to check my mail in public cyber café.

I wait your active response as well.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Dec 29, 2008

B"H

Dear Shmuli,

I understand if you have reservations retaining Barrister Dikedjua, though he is a respected and trusted friend. I never said I thought Don Clark was a Prime Minister; he has informed me that he was a Ghanaian Member of Parliament. You can ask him yourself. I understandably still have a hard time that he is leading a double life as an MP and a barrister, and therefore he has much to gain my trust as an "iconic" figure. Are there any newspaper editorials or articles or anything heralding any iconic feats? I'd like you to pass on some of the populace's adulation for this supposed fine fellow so I can see what all the fuss over this man is about.

p.s. Isn't the point of having an email address that people do get in touch with it?
Zayin Kattan
Jan 1, 2009

to: Shmuli

this its write the frist quiz if it's do the ansewrs and get back to me immediatly urgenty i can to getting the paperowrk to the mintsry before late

[I attached a quiz written entirely in Hebrew on Israeli government letterhead, with a personalised Hebrew note at the top saying (more or less):

"Dear Shmuli, Please answer all the questions without any help from your friends, relatives, or any of the kinds of unsavoury characters you no doubt associate with. You should also know that I'm still sure you're a fool of the highest order. Your friend, Zayin Kattan."

The quiz itself was 33 questions taken from an entrance exam to an Ulpan, or intensive Hebrew school.]

Samuel aka Larry Williams
Jan 3, 2009

subject: HAPPY NEW YEAR TO YOU DR RABBI AND THE FAMILY.
IP: 196.201.88.233

Dear Dr Rabbi,

I read your message with great joy in me and how is the family and especially my mother (IMABONG). Am not fine here concerning this matter because i didn't expect or think that i will be in Abidjan uptill this period of time.

Concerning your lawyer in Nigeria i told you that i do not want him to handle my transaction and gain, I surprise that today barrister Don Clark Edward call on me today and do new year for me and tell me openly in his office that is very sorry that he can no longer handle my case that am very free to seek for another lawyer to continue my matter with you and i didn't say anything than to welcome him and thank him too. For that reason i will better look for another lawyer here that will continue the job from where he stop so far for us to be able terminate the transaction once and for all and secondly, Immediately i get it and i will put you in contact with him.

Please Dr Rabbi, Let us get things fixed in place and get this set fund transfer because this is new year and we should let go old things and to see the end of the river we're now.

Once again, I wish all members of your family happy xmas and prosperous new year and i penoff here uptill i read from you and i also expecting next quizz from Mr Zayin as much as possible.

Best Regards,
Mr Samuel.
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Jan 3, 2009

subject: happy new year sir.
to: Zayin Kattan
IP: 196.201.88.233

Dear Mr Zayin,

I received your message quiet well as you thought and i try to open all the attachment you have attached to me but unfortunately i was unable to open it because you use GIP and that is very difficult here and you better attach it through jpg so that it will be eassier for me to open it and treat it more urgently as you demand for it.

Secondly, I myself i need it urgently even more than you meanwhile am tire of staying in this country untill this period am writing to you, so please try to do something to be able to re-attach it to me or you send it the way you use to send it before to avoid delay on the line please sir.

Again, try to meet with Dr Rabbi and also tell him to be speed up things in dealing concerning this transaction to finish up in time because this is new year and we need to put everything into place to finishing up intime because time and tide wait for no one.

I wait your urgent response and the quizz aswell without wasting time.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Jan 5, 2009

B"H

Dear Shmuli,

You mean to say that your so-called barrister has abandoned you, I've got one at the ready, and you want to find someone else?

Isn't this a bit ludicrous? What do you have against Barrister Dikedjua?

A Happy Xmas? My Dear Shmuli, haven't you been paying attention to anything I say?
Barrister Owata Dikedjua
Jan 5, 2009

to: Shmuli
subject: WETIN BI U AFRAID OF

WETIN BI U AFRAID OF

ILL TEK GUUD CARE OF DIS TRANSACTION

MEBE ILL TEL OJETUNDE JOHNSON

I WAIT OOOOOOO

[Way back when the late Mrs William sent some hospital photos, instead of pasting the photos directly in the email, he/she took a screenshot of someone's open inbox displaying the photos. That inbox belonged to "Ojetunde Johnson". Let's see if he bites...]

Samuel aka Larry Williams
Jan 6, 2009

subject: I LISTEN TO YOU AS AN EDUCATOR.
to: Ben Zona
IP: 41.202.95.23

Dear Dr Rabbi,

Thank you Dr Rabbi for everything and your positive effort toward my progress and suceess in life. Not that i grow stubborn with you never God will not permitt me to do that to you and am trying to let you know what is in my mind because i feel it in my spirit that, If i accept the Nigeria barrister i will regret it because i don't know him and no identity.

And secondly, And he's not ready to release even his address to me and he cannot come here to do anything in my country i beg you Dr Rabbi to forget the man and let us continue the transaction with another lawyer of which i will see him and i will also monitor all what will be going on uptill the end of the transfer and i think you will understand my point of view.

I expect your urgent response.

Best Regards,
Mr Samuel.
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Jan 6, 2009

subject: Re: I NO AFRIAD OF ANYTHING MY GUY.
to: Owata Dikedjua
IP: 41.202.95.23

[looks like I got a nibble!]

O' boy i no afriad of anything ok you be guyman & i be guyman too i believe one thing that, i cannot just accept you into my affair without concrete contact from you ok and if you want me & you to join hands to do anything in this business you better comes in here in Abidjan or you put me in contact with your own person here in Abidjan for us to talk everything concretely before we continue the show and that's all ok.I expect your representive here and this is my direct line.

I go stop here till i read from you.

Goodluck.

+225 085424553.
Zayin Kattan
Jan 6, 2009

to: Shmuli

what is GIP files??????

ben zona

[er, um, how I meant to sign the message off was...]

Zayin Kattan

[1 minute later]

Jan 6, 2009

to: Shmuli

what is GIP files??????

ben zona it's name a baby after yuo yuo know???????

zayin kattan

[smooth, jack, real smooth]

Samuel aka Larry Williams
Jan 6, 2009

subject: happy new year sir.
IP: 41.202.95.23

Dear Mr Zayin,

Wonderful and interesting to read from you through this note and how is everything with you and ofcourse yes i witness everything that you said and is very truth.

Actually, I only ask you to atleast send me all the quizz as you use to send before without attachment and if you need anything to attach to me, Attach it with jpg so that i will be able to open it here and fill or read please without problem.

I wait active response from you as soon as possible.

Best Regards,
Mr Samuel.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Jan 7, 2009

B"H

Dear Shmuli,

Have it your way, though most of my business deals with West Africa have been handled up to now by Odamwata Fukwichua Chambers. I got a really good feeling from their name, which is how I got on to them in the first place. It's a name that just rolls off the tongue - Odamwata Fukwichua. So authentic. I don't speak any African languages, but I find the name so meaningful, and certainly I would think, and still think, it applies well to you, your dearly departed mother, and anyone associated with you.

I understand your trepidation of dealing with another country, but I certainly wasn't happy with your previous choice of barristers. I've decided to make it easy on you. I've contacted a Michel Belanger* at Belanger & Associés. I asked him what needs to get done for these modalities. He seems to think it's fairly straightforward, so I don't think he'll cost too much. Certainly it's a reputable firm - I had a good look at their website - and I don't have to worry about potential scammers posing as lawyers posing as Ghanaian Members of Parliament like "Barrister Don Clark Edward", if that was even his real name.

M. Belanger is awaiting your call - I haven't told him many details as I respected the confidentiality of this transaction. You can contact him on (225) 24 20 64 30 or visit him in person at 9, Boulevard Latrille, Abidjan-Cocody. Is that near you?

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Rodef Bubbameissah

[*This is a substituted name for a real Ivorian lawyer I found, though of course I never contacted him. No use getting the innocent involved. ]

Barrister Owata Dikedjua
Jan 7, 2009

to: Shmuli
U CAN KOL MAI FREN TONY WIKE
HIS NUMBER BE DIS OOO
08073641208
E GOES FO ABIDJAN DI LOT
E GET CHOP AM NO BI SMALL FO ME
I WAIT OOOOOO

[Tony's an old friend of Owata's from another scambait.]

Zayin Kattan
Jan 8, 2009

to: Shmuli

i don not knowing how it's to do!!!!! this is what i geting from the minitstery so i try again
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Jan 8, 2009

subject: happy new year sir.
IP: 41.207.28.32

Dear Mr Zayin,

Thank you for your urgent response to me concerning this quizz and i heard what you said and please consult Dr Rabbi in order to show you how you can attach it to me here in order to be easy for me to open the attachment here to read or fill it.Please made it urgent as soon as you receive this message.

If possible you can include your telephone number for in order to call you for us to speak confidently as the person is seeking for betterment of my life.

I wait your kind response as soonest.
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Jan 8, 2009

subject: I LISTEN TO YOU AS AN EDUCATOR.
IP: 41.207.28.32

Dear Dr Rabbi,

Thank you very much for all the effort you're trying to get my problem solve and also get me better in life. And I have nothing to regret no to argue with you about this anymore, I have give up to you because you senior me in everything and i believe that you got experience in life more than me too.

Sincerely, Dr Rabbi try to put Mr Zayin through and show him how he'll attach the documents to me here to be possible for me to open the attachment and treat whatever the information the ministry will demand from me as he said please. And concerning the contact you send to me i appreciate it greatly and i will call the number and get back to you and i even prefer to go and meet with him in person to decuss it confidently.

Till i meet with the person to get intouch with you whatever he will tell me concerning the transaction to handle it and noce again thank you sir.
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Jan 8, 2009

to: Owata Dikedjua
IP: 60.241.12.20

O'boy no waaala about dat ok and i will try to reach him with de the number you had sent to me take care.
Barrister Owata Dikedjua
Jan 8, 2009

to: Shmuli

MY BRODA

U JUSS SAY FO ME FROM HILARY BOLTON AND MICHAEL RAMSEY

2 REAL MUGUS

WETIN BI U NAME?

[Hilary Bolton and Michael Ramsey were from the same scambait as Tony Wike.]

Zayin Kattan
Jan 8, 2009

to: Shmuli

[I reattached the quiz the way he wanted me to.]

Rabbi Ben Zona
Jan 14, 2009

B"H

Dear Shmuli,

Sorry about the delay in response. Little Anna Imaobong has been a real handful! After 28 fictional children you'd think I'd be used to it.

I'm not sure what you're referring to with regards to attaching a document. I understand Zayin Kattan had sent you a file in an incorrect format, the little tadger, but I'm told he fixed it up. Have you sent the completed form back to him?

And as well, have you spoken with the Ivorian gentleman I've recommended?
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Jan 15, 2009

IP: 41.207.28.250

Dear Dr Rabbi,

Thank you for your message to me and i had call the man in telephone the first day the secretary picked it and she told me when the Belanger itself will be in office and i meet with him in person and i explained everything to him in details and secondly, He made me to understand that, He cannot handle it because he is very busyman , that he will prefer to introduce me to one of his colleague.

I met with his colleague yesterday and he took me to the bank to finalize things by himself and he confirmed everything in details now he left for you as the man tell me to enter into contact with him because he said that when you're ready i should forward his contact to you to contact him in person that he will let you know the procedure and the law here.

And the form the Mr Zayin send to me the write up was not in english and if he is sending anything he should made sure that, the write up is in english to be easy for me to read it and fill it as normal to avoid mistakes.

My warmest greeting to Imaobong and the rest of the members.

Best Regards,
Mr Samuel.
Barrister Owata Dikedjua
Jan 15, 2009

to: Shmuli

MY BRODA

DID U KOL MY FREN TONY YET?

I WAIT OOOOOO
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Jan 18, 2009

subject: Re: I NO AFRIAD OF ANYTHING MY GUY.
to: Owata Dikedjua

ok i read from you fine and i want you to give me your friend correct number ok if you are serious about the deal if not forget it .
Barrister Owata Dikedjua
Jan 19, 2009

to: Shmuli

BRODA, DIS NA BI DI PHONE NOMBA I GET FO AM

08073641208

HIS EMAIL NA BI DIS OOOOOO

tony4tony12@yahoo.com

I WAIT OOOOO
Rabbi Ben Zona
Jan 20, 2009

B"H

Shmuli,

That sounds a bit odd, after M. Belanger told me himself that he'd be more than happy with dealing with your case. Are you sure you spoke to the same M. Belanger?

You can have his colleague contact me directly. I'm assuming he's from the same firm.

And I haven't spoken to Zayin Kattan for a couple of weeks. He has been busy building his new house. A bit cramped for he and his family but all you're ever going to get with Zayin Kattan are small erections.
Zayin Kattan
Jan 22, 2009

to: Shmuli

nu sheumuli?????? do yuo having the finish it's quiz for me?????

zayin kattan
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Jan 24, 2009

subject: I WAIT THE QUIZZ.
to: Zayin Kattan
IP: 196.201.74.209

Dear Mr Zayin,

Thanks for your information and but why is it taking you long time before you response to my message because i was guesting what really going on there with you before i came to read from Dr Rabbi that you are building house for your family and because of that you're somehow busy over it to see to it that you finish your building of which it plays important role in man life.

Actually, I didn't received any attachment of quizz from you because i complain to you that, i couldn't open it to see exactly what you're written for me to answering it that you should better continue sending it in the same manner you use to send it to me ok and sorry for delay and inconvienecy while i look forward reading from you as soonest.

Yours Sincerely,
Mr Samuel.
Zayin Kattan
Jan 25, 2009

to: Shmuli

shmeuli what are it's yuor saying??????

frist i sending yuo the quizz and yuo complaineding about GIP files and then i am to sending again and yuo still not recievng the quizz?

i don not understanding

zayin kattan
Samuel aka Larry Williams

[Shmuli makes up his own lawyer]

Jan 26, 2009

subject: THIS IS THE LAWYER CONTACTS.
IP: 41.207.28.50

Dear Dr Rabbi,

Thank you for your support and caring toward me because without you in couraging and hope it maybe i could die by this time because of too much of thinking every blessed day.

Dr. Rabbi, Yes of course both lawyer was working hand to hand according to barrister Belanger that call him in person and introduce him to me in the present of his secretary and their both chamber situated in the same building and here is the contact of barrister Mohammed Hamza:

BARRISTER MOHAMMED HAMZA ESQ.
9, BOULEVARD LATRILLE ABIDJAN-COCODY.
TELEPHONE- +225 08542453.
FAXLINE- +22521267045.
E-mail-barristermohammedhamza@yahoo.fr

I believe this very lawyer is the same thing with barrister Belanger because without that he could've not introduce me to him to carry on my file of transfer and i convince with him this transfer will finally get to final destination in Isreal.

I choose to read from you as much as you receive this mail with you and also hurry up things on your own side because i tire of roaming around in this vinicity of Abidjan.

I wish you and every members of the family happy sunday.

Best Regards,
Mr Samuel.
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Jan 26, 2009

subject: I WAIT THE QUIZZ.
IP: 41.207.28.50

Dear Mr Zayin,

THanks for your mail to me today and how is everything with you over there. Infact i did not receive anything in attachment that was the reason why i ask you to re-send it to me and secondly, I will personally like you to send it to me in order to meet up with things officially without any mistakes please

I think there's miss up somewhere and please incase of sending me any quizz try to send it as you use to send me before not in attachment to avoid missup again.

I wait for the quizz till i read from you.

Best Regards,
Mr William Samuel.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Jan 27, 2009

B"H

Shmuli,

There's that insolence coming from you again. "Hurry things up on my own side?" What, pray tell, would you have me hurry to do, bubbeleh? I've provided my Nigerian lawyer, and when you've turned him down, I contacted a lawyer in Abidjan for you. I've got you a connection into the Israeli Interior Ministry. I've built an extra room onto the house. I've even named my youngest daughter after your mother, and if you think "Imaobong" is easy to spell in Hebrew, you're sadly mistaken. I've even tried to fast-track your conversion some while back, but as you refused to send pictures of your circumcision, I can only believe you didn't get one to begin with, so we've got to start at the beginning with that as well.

You, though, contacted a fraudulent lawyer who was posing as a Ghanaian Member of Parliament. Or was it a Ghanaian Member of Parliament posing as a lawyer? It doesn't matter. You tried to get me to send him some shekels, or Euros, or Albanian leks, or something, and no doubt he would have made away with it leaving us where we began.

If this fellow works in the same building with M. Belanger, I'll drop him an e-mail.

Please watch your words with me, Shmuli. It's me that's getting you out of that G-d-forsaken place.

If you've changed your mind about sending me some proof of your circumcision, if indeed you did get one, it still may hold some sway with the Beth Din here. Give us some wood if you could, so to speak.

["Beth Din" = Jewish religious court, responsible for conversions among many other things]

Rabbi Ben Zona
Jan 27, 2009

Barrister Hamza,

I am Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona. Your esteemed colleague M. Belanger apparently has referred you on to my son-to-be Shmuli William, who no doubt has presented himself to your chambers as a lost soul.

I can certainly vouch for him as indeed being a lost soul, not too bright, not too respectful, nor altogether sincere come to think of it, though I imagine he's been hit hard by having to scrounge around refugee camps for a bit of change to spend at Internet cafes. What of youth these days?

Onto business. As you've probably discerned from M. Belanger, I'm a man who prefers only to work via email. It also looks as if young Shmuli has any cash on hand, so it looks like I'll be shelling out for something. I refuse to pay:

- for any services to be rendered in advance;
- any fees to grease official palms;
- any "miscellaneous" or "administrative fees";
- any demurrage fees to storage companies; and
- anyone who works at a bank or a storage company who holds a doctorate of any kind.

Above all, I will not pay anyone without an official invoice. If you are uncomfortable with these terms, I will revert back to communication with M. Belanger.

I anticipate your most urgent response.

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Rodef Bubbameissah
Rabbi Ben Zona
Feb 1, 2009

B"H

Dear Shmuli,

Have you been in touch with Barrister Hamza recently? I haven't heard anything despite my email to him last Tuesday.
Zayin Kattan
Feb 1, 2009

to: Shmuli

shmeuli

it's attach the quizzz

zayin kattan

[sent the whole quiz again as a word doc]

Rabbi Ben Zona
Feb 5, 2009

B"H

Dear Shmuli,

You've been quiet for quite a long time. Hope everything is well in your part of the world.
By the way, I haven't heard from Barrister Hamza. Sounds like he's too busy to deal with us.
Is there anything I can do in the meantime?
Zayin Kattan
Feb 5, 2009

to: Shmuli

shmueli

is the quizz it's being in the rihgt format this time???????

zayin kattan
Barrister Owata Dikedjua

[well hell, let's let him have it from all of us...]

Feb 5, 2009

to: Shmuli
MISTER MAN

OJETUNDE JOHNSON STILL BE UA BITCH??????

MMACUS U NAU, U MEK MAN PICKEN LAUGH

[I suspect mmacus01@yahoo.com is another address of his, from the old screenshot of the inbox. Maybe I'll write him at this address later on...]

Samuel aka Larry Williams

[and just when I thought it was dead...]

Feb 16, 2009

subject: AM NOT WELL AT ALL.
IP: 41.207.28.249

Dear Dr Rabbi,

My pleasure again to read from you today and am very sorry that i was not well at all for the pass week and again, I do not want to die sudden death here in Cote d' Ivoire as my lovely mother died.

I cannot put any longer current contact with Barrister Hamze for assisting us in transfering the fund out to your side and i prefer now that, I join your lawyer in Nigeria as you suggested before because my life is not safe here and my present condition.

Add to that, I will need transport money from you in which it will cost you (100€) only and whatsoever is your opinion please do not hesitate to get me inform because i am under starvation here.

I hope reading from you as soon as you have this missive with you Dr Rabbi.

Thanks,
Brother William Samuel.
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Feb 16, 2009

subject: I BELIEVE YOU WILL UNDERSTAND ME.
IP: 41.207.28.249

Dear Mr Zayin,

I had received your email now due to my present of health i was not feeling fine at all for the pass week. And for real the attachment still show the same thing i wich i cannot read the language that showed and either i will find time and sent you the posted box to sent it to me and i believe that'll be better to fasten dealings on this note.

I wait reading from you soonest.

Thanks from,
Mr William Samuel.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Feb 16, 2009

B"H

Shmuli, what's going on? I'm very concerned. What's all this talk about death?
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Feb 17, 2009

subject: I CCOUNT ON YOU PLEASE DR RABBI.
IP: 213.136.119.142

Dear Dr Rabbi,

I am very glad to read from you very fast about this matter because am very worry about it here meanwhile, the members of my late father family are now called me on phone that, I know something about the fund my late father deposited in the bank in Abidjan of which i drag with them that, i does not know anything about it that, they should leave me & face their own problem. They invited me to present myself in the village of which i refused to do that with reason's.

Officially, I want you to take me out of this country between now and this ending of this month of febraury to Nigeria to live with your lawyer and from there, He'll apply his connection to organise the documents and transfer the fund out to you as you instructed right from the beginning before this people will nap me with wizard act please i really account on you because i do not have anyone here to assist me out.

I wait on you Dr Rabbi and hoping to read from as much as possible.

Thanks,
Brother William Samuel.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Feb 18, 2009

B"H

Shmuli,

No son of mine will be napped with a wizard act. I've sent something your way; Owata will let you know when it's received.
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Feb 20, 2009

IP: 41.202.95.63

Dear Dr Rabbi,

Thank you for the word of confident you're giving to me in response to my message and i really stand on your words aswell and then, As you said please Dr Rabbi i want to live here atleast ending of this month. I want to know what you have sent as you said to barrister Owata please.

I look forward reading from you soon.

Thank,
Brother William Samuel.
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Feb 20, 2009

IP: 41.202.95.63

Dear Mr Zayin,

Thank you for the huge interest in me and there's no problem on the line as you said but i wish you to send it in Hebrew language and i will use Google translator to translate it before i fill the form ok.

I wait your active response as possible.

Thank from,
Brother William Samuel.

[Google Translator? I didn't know they did Hebrew translation at all. Won't do Shmuli any good because each quiz question is a GIF file. The only part of the quiz that's translatable is the note I wrote him at the top, which Google translates exactly to:]

Dear Molly,

Please answer the following questions without any help friends, relatives, or any kinds of (untranslated) living (untranslated).

You'll know that I am sure you have a big boob heavy cannon as well.

(untranslated),

Zane small]

[which of course, is infinitely funnier than the real message]

Rabbi Ben Zona
Feb 22, 2009

B"H

Shmuli,

Please let me know when you've arrived in Nigeria.

[I quoted this message below that was never sent.]

From: Owata Dikedjua
To: Ben Zona
Sent: Thursday, 19 February, 2009
Subject: I THANKING YOU FOR THE MONEY IT HAS BEEN WELL RECIEVED AND GIVEN TO SHEMULI WILLIAM OK

DEAR DR. RABBI,
HOW ARE YOU? HOPE FINE. HOW IS YOUR WONDERFUL FAMILY AND ALL YOUR CHILDREN? HOPE FINE TOO OK.

I HAD MY SECREATARY GO DOWN TO THE OFFICE THIS MORNING AND IT LOOKS LIKE THE PAYMENT OF 1000 EUROS CAME THROUGH THAT WAS VERY GENEROUS OF YOU TO SHEMULI BECAUSE HE IS HAVING IT HARD IN COTE D'IVOIRE OK AND HE ONLY ASKED FOR 100EUROS SO THE MONEY IS PASSED TO HIM BY MY SECREATARY OK.

I SPOKE TO HIM PERSONALLY AND HE SAYS HE WILL COMING TO LAGOS BY TUESDAY OR WEDNESDAY AT THE LATEST OK.

Samuel aka Larry Williams
Feb 23, 2009

subject: I COUNT ON YOU PLEASE DR RABBI.
IP: 213.136.125.216
Dear Dr Rabbi,

Thank you for your important information and how is the health of the entire family especially my mother "IMABONG" and to be frankly speaking i never receive anything even common message from your lawyer Owata in Nigeria.

Importantly, Is more than two weeks now i never hear from him in Nigeria and immediately i receive the money today from him i will live Abidjan immediately because there's direct transportation from Abidjan to Lagos. Please Dr Rabbi try to get intouch with him to send me the money here.

I wait your active response.

Best Regards,
Brother Samuel.
Samuel aka Larry Williams

[Shmuli's deal is going to another scammer! Well not really, but why not let him think so?]

Feb 23, 2009

subject: I NO AFRIAD OF ANYTHING MY GUY.
to: Owata Dikedjua
cc: Tony Wike <tony4tony12@yahoo.com>

Owata,

How your side my guy, i just receive a message from Dr Rabbi this evening that i should let him know immediately i found myself in Nigeria because he told me last week, He will sent you the money i demanded from him €100 for the transportation to meet with you in Lagos. Sotherefore, If you're in the position of this money you better send mine here for me to enable both of us to continues this business suceessfully without missup on the process.

You can reach me with my directline as much as possible.

+22508542453.
Barrister Owata Dikedjua
Feb 24, 2009

to: Shmuli

BRODA,

I SI U GET SPOKEN WIT TONY WIKE.

BEN ZONA GAVE MI 1000, NOT 100. HE NA REAL MUGU.

HAU SUPPOSE TO I GET U DI MONI? WETIN DEY UR BANK ACOUNT DETAILS?

OWATA
Rabbi Ben Zona
Feb 25, 2009

B"H

Shmuli,

Not heard from him? He told me his secretary went to visit you.
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Feb 26, 2009

subject: I COUNT ON YOU PLEASE DR RABBI.
IP: 41.207.28.197

Dear Dr Rabbi,

Thank you for the information and am waiting for his secretary as he told you and please Dr Rabbi, Immediately the money get to my hands before i move from Abidjan i will let you know that same day without wasting time and try to relate to barrister Owata too to be fast in sending the money to me.

Waiting to read from you soonest.

Best Regards,
Brother William.
Samuel aka Larry Williams aka Alexander
Feb 26, 2009

subject: I NO AFRIAD OF ANYTHING MY GUY.
IP: 41.207.28.197

Dear Owata,
Thank you for your information because Dr Rabbi had already informed about it whether i receive it and i told him not jet that immediately you have the cash with you that you will sent it to me here in Abidjan.

First thing tomorrow morning i will sent you the account details inorder to sent the money to us here and i believe on you on what you said that the man is real cleint. Sotherefore, After the money we have to arrange everything inorder to proceeed the job neatly and one thing is for us to built confident within ourselves.

I will call you with this your number tomorrow immediately i sent you the bank account 08073641208 and while responding to my message try to include the contact telephone of tony for me if he is in Abidjan for us to meet ourselves here too.

Please my guy i ccount on you let us work together in confident because i think God has purpose of bringing us together and i promise you that we will have so many thing doing together this year 2009

. Waiting to read from you soonest.

Best Regards,
Alexander.(William)
+225 08542453.
Samuel aka Larry Williams

[Shmuli wheedles Owata, who he imagines is also running the scam. The key word being imagine.]

Feb 26, 2009

subject: LET US COOPERATE.
IP: 41.207.215.171

Broda Owata,

My guy why giving me wrong number is not working of which i call the number this morning and is not ringing and i told you before that we should join hands together and do the business and sent your real telephone number to me in order to call you before i release an account to you to sent me my own money here in Abidjan before we continue the job.

Or if you have someone here in Abidjan call him and give my number to heor she to call me for us to meet and ccount the money here and give to me or you give me the contact of the person. Meanwhile the man had contacted me yesterday that you people said you're sending your secretary to come visit me and bears in mind that, I am the engine room of the job besides, We have to co-operate to get something tangible from the business and this is just the beginning.Let us do away with greedyness and to be frank i need my own percentage complete out of the total amount.

I still expecting your urgent response to my email.

Thanks,
Williams.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Mar 2, 2009

B"H

Dear Shmuli,

Are you in Nigeria yet? How were you planning on getting there?
Barrister Owata Dikedjua
Mar 2, 2009

to: Shmuli

BRODA ALEXANDER,

U NAU ,U NO WAN UR MONI, DAT FAIN BY MI. HOW BI MY MAN TONY WIKE? I NO HEAR FOR AM SOTEY

HOW CAN I TRUST YOU? YOU HAVE OTHER MUGUS YOU WORKING? MAYBE YOU CUT ME IN?
Zayin Kattan
Mar 3, 2009

to: Shmuli

nu???? hav yuo it's filling the from yet????

zayin kattan
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Mar 3, 2009
IP: 41.207.30.169

Dear Dr Rabbi,

It's not possible for me to be in Nigeria without transportation because untill this moment i am writing to you i had not heard anything from your man in Nigeria nor to see person from his side and i told you before to send the money direct to me here in Abidjan and you always told me that you trust him but now see what is happen.

I am short of words now as i am writing to you and how much do you send to him in Nigeria & i am continue waiting for you or the money to use and get my ticket to Nigeria untill this hour i am writing to you. So get intouch with him and get me his correct phone number for me to call him direct and ask him of the money if you really wish me to be in Nigeria or you instruct him by yourself. Or you send the money here directly to me with my name and i will pick it up in western union the same day than to be wasting much time on this issue.

Thanks,
William Samuel.
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Mar 3, 2009

subject: LET US COOPERATE.

Brother Owata,
Am not here to talk much my guy but let me tell you if you do not send my percentage to me here in Abidjan believe me that, This is the last money you will receive from the man.

And you cannot call me on phone and you do not want to release your real number to me what do you mean by all that nonsense.

I wait for you if you want this job to continue because i am the key to everything ok?.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Mar 4, 2009

B"H

Dear Shmuli,

I don't know what you're talking about. I sent the money to Owata last week, who said he passed it on to you.

Are you still in touch with Zayin Kattan? I've heard nothing on that front. His patience won't last forever, you know. He tends to get excited about something very quickly and then seemingly 7 minutes later he's not interested.
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Mar 4, 2009

subject: I COUNT ON YOU PLEASE DR RABBI.
IP: 213.136.125.248

Dear Dr Rabbi,

Yes of course i had receive your message and i accepted all your points as you stated to me but i want you to know one thing that, The Owata are playing over my intelligent by lying on my head that, They pass the money to me and the Almighty God bears me witness that they lying but i have nothing to do them but God is washing all of us on our attitude and wickedness.

I told you if you want to help me to Nigeria sent the money here for me and i will picked it up with my name and buy my ticket to meet with him face to face in lagos and from there he will be ahame of his evil doing because i believe they will never send the money here for me and they will keep on lying to you as they told you last week that they send their secretary to me of which their secretary do not know where they called cote d' ivoire nor my address even my name.

I have nothing again to tell you about if you want to help me send me the money to me in Abidjan and i didn't demand for million for my transportation but token.

And for the Mr Zayin; I always keep intouch with him and i will fill the form and attach it back to him.

They refuse to send me their real contact and the real telephone number but God see all of us and one day we will give account of it and i never write to them again by asking them that money. Let Me die here if God wishes it.
Barrister Owata Dikedjua
Mar 5, 2009

to: Shmuli

ALEXANDER I NEVER SAY NUTIN ABOUT U NOT GETTING UR MONEY JUSS GIVE ME UR BANK ACCOUNT AND I WILL SEND IT TO U

U ARE THE KEY TO EVERYTHING? NO MEK ME LAUGH GUYMAN
Rabbi Ben Zona
Mar 5, 2009

to: Shmuli, Owata

B"H

Dear Shmuli,

I'm not sure what's brought on all this invective. If you hadn't got the money yet, I'm sure that there's some reasonable explanation. Barrister Owata, what's going on?

Zayin Kattan told me to tell you that he can't play games anymore. As I expected, he's grown impatient with you. I begged him to give you another 24 hours. If you don't help him out, it'll take a bit longer for your paperwork to get processed.

Do please remain in touch with the Mr. Zayin. If you keep maintaining the touch, you'll soon feel a lot better.
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Mar 6, 2009

subject: I COUNT ON YOU PLEASE DR RABBI.
IP: 41.207.30.147

Dear Dr Rabbi,

I come this way Dr Rabbi, I really appreciate your effort toward me and the way you hajack Barrister Owata concerning this matter because i received interested message from him yesterday thursday eversince you introduced him to me. He asked me to send him an account that he will pay the money in there for me to receive in here in Abidjan and i will do that today unfailingly & immediately i receive the money i will inform you the date i will live to Lagos Nigeria.

And secondly, Other things is that, His real Home Address and the phone number. Please sir, In the case of Mr Zayin i want you to help me arrange the form in english before he will send it to me to fill here because i feel it very difficulties to understand the language appears in the form to fill and that's what delay everything on that process and as you said i wouldn't want anything else to delay the arrangement any longer.

Extend my warmest greeeting this weekend to your family members especially my lovingly mother Imaobong.

Best Regards,
Brother William Samuel.
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Mar 6, 2009

subject: I BELIEVE YOU WILL UNDERSTAND ME.

Dear Mr Zayin,

I believe all is well at your end thisdays and as for me i am trying to correspond with my nature. I had your information from Dr Rabbi and at the sametime, Please you should not be annoy with me in my silentness to you and the delay on the process because all this occur due to the miss up on the way.

Just bear with me i will try and fill it and get back to you in due time and have a nice weekend.

Thanks,
Brother William Samuel.
Zayin Kattan
Mar 8, 2009

subject: its all over habibi
to: Shmuli, Ben Zona

shmuli habibi

it sall over for you i cannot to wasting any more time with this if yuo are asking fro my assisting and yuo taking yuor time well i hav no time from this

rabbi, please to give chaya mushka hello from me

zayin kattan
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Mar 10, 2009

IP: 41.207.217.104
Dear Dr Rabbi,

Am here to inform you that i have just send account information to Barrister Owata in Nigeria to pay in the money to me for me to pick it up here in Abidjan to pave my way to Nigeria as soon as possible and i also need your help in this part Dr Rabbi to tell him to equip me with contact i will use to locate him out in Lagos.

Mr Zayin is annoy with me because of delaying the processing of the form and i will see that off by the grace of God this week unfailingly.

And that's all for now and extend my warmest greeting to everybody ones especially my mother (Imabong).

Thanks,
William Samuel.
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Mar 10, 2009

from: Larry Williams <william_lay01@yahoo.fr>
subject: LET US COOPERATE.
IP: 41.207.217.104

Dear Mr Owata,
Am very sorry for delaying to your message and how is everything in your end. It's not an easy thing to get account to send to you in Nigeria to pay my own percentage of money to me because the man that wanted to give me the account charge me 20% and later he started dribbling me and that made me to took the account from one of our Nigeria lady and she still charge me the same 20% and please i beg you and let us do away with greedyness send my own part 500Euros to me through this account information am listed below;

RICHARD SANDRA RICHARD
[Yet another Lad 'personality' or bit player]
CODE BANQUE-- CODE GUICHET.
A 0059 -- 01015
ACCOUNT NUMBER--RIB
030306024011 -- 79
SWIFT CODE--ECOCCIAB

Please pay the cash into this account in Ecobank exactly amount and i will pick it up here to enable us to process the job immediately.And immediately you do the payment inform me instantly atleast one minutes call and get me your real contact too.

Thanks,
Alex.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Mar 11, 2009

B"H

Shmuli,

Happy Purim! It is the time of year when we are all first reflective of what could have been, and then completely celebratory for what has happened. Would you believe me if I had a shpiel at shul and I told the congregants all about you? Much mirth had ensued, I can tell you. Naming of my youngest, er, "creation" after your mother certainly fit in with the day's theme.

I told you Zayin Kattan's patience wasn't his strong point. If you really want the paperwork to be moving, you better start answering is questions and concerns in a timely manner. At the outset, I'd suggest a nice long apology letter, like you really mean it, would do the trick. Zayin likes a lot of grovelling, and why wouldn't he, he's a government official. Between you and me, I'm not sure that these government officials are on completely on the up and up anyway. You didn't hear it from me, but I think he's on the take, if you know what I mean.
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Mar 12, 2009

subject: I COUNT ON YOU PLEASE DR RABBI.
IP: 213.136.119.154

Dear Dr Rabbi,

Thank you for informing me of the celebration and i wish i could've be there myself to witness things with my two eyes but never mind, A day of that is athand is no more longer from me as i dreamt of it.

Dr Please tell them about me as you said and i will be very glad if such things happening and i will love you to brief me in your next message how far you have gone with it and the more things about Mr Zayin is this, I do not hold him any question to answer concerning the quizz anymore and where we're now is to fill the form he sent to me for the citizenship to him as he said for him to submitt it for me in the ministry of which i am working on it now and he show know that, Is not an easy because i do translate the language to english before i fill it and that's took me alot of time to do is not something to be rush to avoid making mistakes.

Dr Rabbi, I feel very bitter about this very point i am lamenting to you now about the attitude of Owata in Lagos toward me on the money you had send to him to sent to me in Abidjan and uptill now i never heard anything from him of which i send to him since last week the account details he will pay the money in for me to pick it up in Abidjan. I did not know exactly what Owata means for that kind of life and if he use the money for hiw own personal use he should better tell me than to be keeping me silent. Please try and to tell him to pay the money in there in the account i send to him.

Dr, I am crying my life here to you i want to live here and if he knows that, He spend the money for himself, it better tell you the truth to be telling you lie that he will send it to me and her secretary is coming to meet me in which i never see any body and they do not even know my address. Sothereforeyou can easily do the transfer to me here directly.

Am seek and tire of Owata lying to me and i want you to reach him either telephone or by email for us to look for the black goat when sun still shinning.

Best Regards,
Brother William Samuel.
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Mar 12, 2009

subject: LET US COOPERATE.
IP: 213.136.119.154

Owata,

I send you bank account since last week and you never say anything about it and what's really going on there my guy let me know and stop keeping me in silent like this.

Meanwhile i complain to Dr Rabbi about it because you cannot eat your own part and eat mine again is done.

i wait impatiently for my money i tell you honestly.
Barrister Owata Dikedjua
Mar 12, 2009

to: Shmuli

ALEX,
WHAT BI U SAY U WANT MI TO DASH U 500 EUROS
U ONLY AKS FOR DR RABBI FA 100 EUROS
WHAT MAKES U THINK I GIB U 500 EUROS????
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Mar 13, 2009

subject: LET US COOPERATE.

Owata,

Ok my brother there's no problem on the line as you said ok i am not greedy and if it endorse in your mind to send only 100euros for me here and the boy that own's the job no problem, All the boy wants is to get the cash with him because the situation of things tide with everyone here, we survive only by God grace.

Try to made sure that, There's nothing goes up without coming down and pay the cash into the account lastest today for us to be able to get the money here on unfailing on tuesday and immediately you do that, send me an email instantly to know. Secondly, I will not tell you anything about this money if you want this job to continue just send me what you feel to send to me as per what i demanded from the Dr Rabbi.

Alex.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Mar 14, 2009

B"H

Hi Shmuli,
I saw the most excellent movie yesterday: "A Beautiful Mind." Have you ever seen it? Very inspiring. What I found the most incredible is that the three main protagonists in the movie were made up! Completely real in the eyes of the main character, and of course, to the viewing audience, which is what made the movie so excellent. Can you imagine? There you are, quietly trying to accomplish a top-secret, highly confidential job, and the three people that you most trust to help get the job done are fabricated? I mean, how would you feel, especially when if you looked back for clues and in retrospect just seemed so obvious?

Shmuli, I understand the desperation you feel (albeit not the words of your message) right now. Just remember you're sitting on a gold mine, and it's money that though you can't presently access it, you will at some point. I've been trying for lo the past several months to organise legal representation and government assistance, but I think everything right now rests on you communicating with Zayin Kattan. Without the help needed from the bureaucracy that is the Israeli Interior Ministry, I'm afraid I'm of no use helping to get you into the country. I haven't spoken to Zayin in quite a few weeks so I don't know where your case is at.

In the meantime, I've sent another $1,000 for your troubles through my usual channels (take note, Owata). I'll see that Owata delivers this to you promptly.
Barrister Owata Dikedjua
Mar 14, 2009

to: Shmuli, Ben Zona

DEAR DR. RABBI BEN ZONA,

COMPLIMENTS OF THE SEASON AND HOW ARE YOU DOING ON THI S FINE DAY? PLEASE SEND MY WAMEST REGARDS TO YOUR WIFE CHAYA MUSHKA AND YOUR ABORABLE CHILDREN

THANK YOU FOR SENDING THE MONEYS TO ME I WILL PASS THIS ONTO MY SECRETARY TO GIVE TO WILLIAMS LIKE I DID THE LAST TIME LISTEN I HAVE SPOKE TO WILLIAM AND WE HAVE ARRANGE FOR HIM TO MEET ME IN LAGOS OK I TOLL HIM THAT IT IS NO PROBLEM TO MEET ME HERE BUT HE NEVER PHONES ME BUT I HAVE ARRANGE FOR HIM TO TRAVEL HERE AND I THOUGHT AS YOU ARE MOST GERNEROUS MAN YOU WOULD LIKE HIM TO MAYBE FLY TO LAGOS FIRST CLASS SO I HAVE BOOKED HIM A TICKET IN YOUR NAME FIRST CLASS TO TRAVEL ON (bellview airlines) FOR THIS COMING WEEK OK BUT I NEED YOU TO SEND ME ANOTHER 783 EUROS TO COVER THIS FLIGHT OK AS IT IS NOT MUCH FOR ONLY A FLIGHT OF 30 MINUTES OK.
Rabbi Ben Zona
Mar 14, 2009

to: Shmuli, Owata

B"H

Owata,

Didn't realize you were online at the same time, though it should by now appear obvious as you usually check your email around the same time I do.

Another 783 Euros? Well, OK. Shmuli should by now like the first class treatment we're giving him. Great initiative on your part - I'm sure this will really get him excited! I'll get you the money straight away.
Barrister Owata Dikedjua
Mar 14, 2009

to: Shmuli
subject: ALEX DIS IS TOO EASY

BRODA ALEX
DR. RABBI HE NA REAL MUGU. ANODA 2000$ AN I DID NO DO ANYTING

MAYBE I GIB U SOME LESSONS???????
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Mar 16, 2009

subject: I COUNT ON YOU PLEASE DR RABBI.
IP: 213.136.119.154

Dear Rabbi,

Thank you for your great effort to take me out of this place i am and i will not write much to you because i am in great distress here as i am sending this few words of mind to you this morning.

God bears me great witness that, I told you the witness as the submisive child of God Almighty and you do not want to listen to me because i never pay you a visit in Isreal for you to know me in person and since Owata that call himself barrister of which he couldn't write good english nor speaking anything good siting down right there in Nigeria Lagos to be contolling you to wire the money to him in the favour of me and i never see a penny from him and his group untill this moment than to be telling me bullshit and keep on promising you he dose this or he dose that in which he has not done anything to favour this transfer of my fund out to you in Isreal.

Am here once again, Made you to understand that, Do not try anything to send him that 783 euros again as from this point and if you do you're taking your own personal risk ok and let him eat the first one you had sent and i want you to sent this money to me here in Abidjan either through western union or the bank account i will forward to you now and this is the same account information i forward to them in lagos and untill now, there's nothing coming out of it for you to see and know how Owata and his group are wicked.

I want the money here why because when i get to lagos myself i call them and also have acess in my hand to rent hotel and expect them and if i do not see them i can easily get my way back to Abidjan and secondly, Never believe that they're pay any first ticket for me iit's proper lie because i went to Bellview airline and cross check and nothing like that if you want check it by yourself over there.

As for Mr Zayin please let us iron this issue of money out and i will now focus my attention and get everything set and do not trouble him and i still repeat it again never you sent any penny to Owata say is on my name please i grow enough to pave my way to Lagos to meet with them if there're really in need of assisting us and this is the account information as bellow :

RICHARD SANDRA RICHARD
CODE BANQUE-- CODE GUICHET.
A 0059 -- 01015
ACCOUNT NUMBER--RIB
030306024011 -- 79
SWIFT CODE--ECOCCIAB

You should not surprise of this account and i want you to know that this lady is a pastor in our church and they are very good to me and they're also awares of this transaction and they're also feeding me in some of my need and immediately the money is pay by you into this account try to send me the payment slip to enable her claim the money from the bank and give it to me.

OR if that one will be long process you better send it through western union with my full name as bellow;

SENDER NAME; DR RABBI
RECEIVER NAME; BROTHER SAMUEL WILLIAM
COUNTRY: COTE D' IVOIRE
QUESTION; HOW ARE YOU.
ANSWER; FINE
AMOUNT; 783 EUROS
CONTROL NUMBER............

Dr Rabbi, You can easily send the information of the western union if at all you prefer to send the money through western union to me, text the information to my phone and i will pick it up without wasting time and give you the datte am living to lagos but saying that you send it to Owata in Lagos in my name is (CAPITAL NO) and that is my words to you as my educator and my guardian.

Best Regards,
Brother William Samuel.
Tel:+225 08542453.
Samuel aka Larry Williams
Mar 17, 2009

subject: YOU HAVE INFORMATION TO SEND THE MONEY.
IP: 41.202.95.232

Dear Dr Rabbi,

Goodmorning to you Dr Rabbi and how is the member of the family this morning doing and ask of mine am managing here by the grace of God Almighty.

As per my message to you yesterday i believe you received it and you also ready to treat it as i explained to you and obviously, I will be in the bank this morning with the bank director because since last year novermber i had not jet go to the bank since we entered this year to know the position of things and whatsoever the bank director tell me i will definitely get you inform.

Am here this morning to repeated my words once again, That i had never set my eyes on the image of Owata talkless of his contact address nor phone number and i want you to ask him since you introduced him to me whether he calls me on phone for once either give me his real number apart from the wrong number they send to me and when i call the number rang block. If you want me succeed and continue living as your son do not send a penny onbehalf of me to Owata again let him eat the one you had already send to him and that's all.

Meanwhile, I know really that, They'll be fooling you to swallow your money without coming here to carry on the process of the transfer because they do not know the rule and regulation the ministry of finance here nor the law that govern the transfered proecdure in my country cote d' ivoire and please doctor i do not want you tobe confuse about the incident but i dreamt of it that it'll happened this way with them because God has never fail me and whatsoever he reveal to me always comes truth and secondly, I want to be in lagos by myself and when getting there i will send you an email for you to know that, I am in lagos and from there you will call him or inform him where i am for him to come and pick me there and if he refuse i will use the remaining money in my hands to pay my way back to Abidjan.

Altogether, I told you right from time that, I do not demanding for thousand from you but only the transport money to be in lagos sotherefore Dr Rabbi, A words is enough for a wise only send me what God endorse in your mind to send me for transport period and forget about their first class ticket please.

I patiently waiting for your active response as much as possible.

Best Regards,
Brother Samuel William.
Rabbi Ben Zona
March 17, 2009

B"H

Shmuli,
I'm not sure what you mean. I sent Owata some extra money, who has bought a plane ticket for you, so you can get down to Lagos. Owata has received it just fine and has couriered the ticket to you. I don't know why he keeps calling you Alex, though!

[again, the below was never sent]

from: Owata Dikedjua
to: Ben Zona
subject: I SENT WILLIAMS ALEX THE MONEY OK
date: Monday, March 16, 2009

DEAR DR. RABBI BEN ZONA,

COMPLIMENTS OF THE DAY HOW ARE YOU HOPE FINE OK.

THANK YOU AGAIN FOR SENDING ME THAT MONEY I HAVE HAD MY SECRET ARY CALL SHMULI WILLAMS ALEX AND TELL HIM THE GOOD NEWS ABOUT THE FIRST CLASS TICKET OK SHEMULI HE WAS VERY HAPPY TO HEAR FROM ME AND WAS EXITED TO COME OVER TO LAGOS ON (wednesday) OF NEXT WICK SO WE WILL MEET UP THEN AND DISCUS THE PLANS FOR HIM TO JOIN YOU IN ISRAL OK I HAVE SENT THE TICKET ON A COURIER SERVICE OVER NIGHT AND HE SHOULD GET THE TICKET TOMORROW TOFLY HER OK.

FOR THE FAMILY,

BARRISTER O. DIKEDJUA (OWATA)
ODAMWATA FUKWICHUA CHAMBERS

Barrister Owata Dikedjua

["Barrister Owata" now delivers a master stroke - Shmuli, the scammer, is to send money to him. A game Shmuli knows all too well.]

March 17, 2009

to: Shmuli

GREETINGS, ALEX SHEMULI,

I have been waiting for you since to contact me for your (FIRST CLASS PLANE TICKET TO LAGOS) Then I went and mail the ticket with DHL COURRIER SERVICE, West Africa,What you have to do now is to contact the DHL COURRIER SERVICE as soon as possible to know when they will deliver your package to you because of the expiring date.

The only money you will send to the DHL COURRIER SERVICE to deliver your Draft direct to your postal Address in your country is ( 362.00 US Dollars) only being for the Security Keeping Fee of the Courier Company so far. Again, don't be deceived by anybody to pay any other money except 362.00 US Dollars.I would have paid for the security keeping fees but they said no because they don't know when you will contact them and in case of demurrage.

For your information, I have paid for the delivering Charges, Insurance premium and Clearance Certificate Fee of the TICKET showing that it is not FOR DELIVERY OF DRUGS OR TO COMMIT AL QUADA TERRORIST ATTACK OK.

You have to contact the DHL COURIER SERVICE now for the delivery of your Draft with this information bellow;

Contact Person: Dr. Uluklaka Nasol
Email Address: uluklakanasol@live.com

Finally, make sure that you reconfirm your Full Name,Postal address() and Direct telephone number to them again to avoid any mistake on the Delivery and ask them to give you the tracking number to enable you track your package over there and know when it will get to your address.

Let me repeat again, try to contact them as soon as you receive this mail to avoid any further delay and remember to pay them their Security Keeping fee of 362.00 US Dollars for their immediate action. You should also let me know through email as soon as you receive your TICKET.

Yours Faithfully,
BARRISTER O. DIKEDJUA (OWATA)
ODAMWATA FUKWICHUA CHAMBERS
Samuel aka Larry Williams aka whatever

[And Shmuli finally loses it.]

March 17, 2009

to: Ben Zona
IP: 41.202.95.232

So therefore i will not be wasting my precious time with you ok and i believe that you're bastard to be deceiving people around ok bye forever
Rabbi Ben Zona
March 18, 2009

subject: deceived?

B"H

Shmuli,
The Talmud says: "If one man says you're an ass, take no mind. If two men say you're an ass, buy a saddle."

Owata Dikedjua says you're an ass. Zayin Kattan says you're an ass.

I say, "Giddy up."

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Rodef Bubbameissah
 

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