REMAIN BLESSED AND SWINGING


Updated april 30, 2008

Marking the return of Brother Mark Knopfler of the Church of the Sultans of Swing.

Brother Mark was previously seen in such adventures as THE MUGU'S TOO BIG (in which the Lads went down the Telegraph Road) and MONEY FOR NOTHING, in which he overcame a crisis of faith (and the Lads as well).
He has also played principal roles in the international casts of A REAL CHARLIE and UNITED WE LAUGH. Brother Mark appears courtesy of Scambaiters Equity.

CAST
Victoria Paxton - benighted female (<vicpaxton@hotmail.co.uk>)
Dr. Bishop Woodley - Banker Lad (<customerservice@allianceleicesternet.com>)
versus
Brother Mark Knopfler, humble man of the cloth, and guitar wizard, wrenched from the contemplative life by this appeal from a dying woman

[Classic scam elements are highlighted for the benefit of the scam-o-challenged.]


Mrs. Victoria Paxton
Received: from nat72.mia.three.co.uk (nat72.mia.three.co.uk [217.171.129.72]) by www-mail.usyd.edu.au (IMP) with HTTP for <infocentre@localhost>;
Date: Wed, 26 Mar 2008
From: "Mrs. Victoria Paxton" <infocentre@mail.usyd.edu.au>
Reply-to: vicpaxton@hotmail.co.uk
Subject: YOUR SISTER IN CHRIST!!

Dear Beloved,

It is by the grace of God that I received Christ, having known the truth, I had no choice than to do what is lawful and just in the sight of God for eternal life and in the sight of man for witness of God & is Mercies and glory upon my life.

I am Mrs. Victoria Paxton, the wife of Mr. Ricky Paxton, my husband worked with the Chevron / Texaco in Belgium for twenty years before he died in the year 2005.We were married for ten years without a child. My Husband died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we both got born again and dedicated Christians. Since his death I decided not to re-marry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is strongly against. When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of US$17.5 Million. (Seventeen Million Five Hundred Thousand U.S. Dollars) with a Financial Institution in Europe.

Presently, this money is still with the Bank and the management just wrote me as the beneficiary that our account has been DORMANT and if I, as the beneficiary of the funds, do not re-activate the account; the funds will be CONFISCATED or I rather issue a Power of Attorney to somebody to receive it on my behalf as I can not come over. Presently, I'm in a hospital in Luxembourg where I have been undergoing treatment for esophageal cancer.

I have since lost my ability to talk and my doctors have told me that I have only a few weeks to live. It is my last wish to see this money distributed to charity organizations anywhere in the World. Because relatives and friends have plundered so much of my wealth since my illness, I cannot live with the agony of entrusting this huge responsibility to any of them.

Please, I beg you in the name of God to help me Stand-in as the beneficiary and collect the Funds from the Bank. I want a person that is God-fearing who will use this money to fund churches, orphanages and widows propagating the word of God and to ensure that the house of God is maintained.

The Bible made us to understand that blessed is the hand that giveth. I took this decision because I don't have any child that will inherit this money and my husband's relatives are not Christians and I don't want my husband's hard earned money to be misused by unbelievers. I don't want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner. Hence the reason for taking this bold decision.

I am not afraid of death since I know where I am going to. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. {Exodus14 VS14}says that the Lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace. I don't need any telephone communication in this regard because of my soundless voice and presence of my husband's relatives around me always. I don't want them to know about this development but if you insist here is my private number : + 44 750 652 3158.

With God all things are possible.

If you are interested in help me fulfil this dream, you can email to my personal email: vicpaxton@hotmail.co.uk

Your Sister in Christ,

Mrs. Victoria Paxton.

[This is a typical Cancer letter. But you knew that.]

Brother Mark Knopfler
Date: Wed, 26 Mar 2008

My dear Mrs Paxo

How absolutely awful for you. As a religious organisation we are always happy to spread the word. As we like to say, you can take us to the candy shop, you can make us lick the lollipop but not for 50cents. We currently have several things underway which I think will suit your sensibilities indeed. We are working In da Club at the moment and would welcome some help.

How may the church be of service to you in this time of great need

Remain blessed and swinging

Brother Mark Knopfler
Church of the Sultans of Swing
Visit our Resort
Mrs. Victoria Paxton
Date: Wed, 26 Mar 2008

Dear Beloved,

I sincerely wish to express my thanks to you for your prompt, encouraging and positive response. I am most grateful and I believe that you understand the situation.

I am in a desperate situation here and like I have already mentioned to you, we need honest and kind hearted assistance from you.

Requirements:

1: Full names
2: Residential address (not P.O. box)
3: Your personal confidential Tel/fax numbers
4: Age
5: Occupation
6: Sex
7: Nationality
8: Annual Income

I have mentioned to you my present situation facing me, that I am undergoing treatment for esophageal cancer which I cannot speak on phone. my communication with you will be only via email.

I AWAIT YOUR URGENT RESPONSE

Cordial Blessing.

Your sister in Christ
Brother Mark Knopfler
Date: Thu, 27 Mar 2008

Dear Victor

My heart does indeed go out to you as one of my fellow brothers died recently from this awful desease. His treatment went on for many months but ultimately he went to meet our Lord and will forever sit at his right hand (its a comfy seat apparently). He had trouble sleeping ( REM sleep anyway) towards the end and his skin looked like an orange crush and he was losing his religion. Everybody hurts, sometimes, during this treatment and Kenneth, his surgeon was using some sort of radio device. Whats the frequency Kenneth, we asked but were told it was a trade secret. It could have been a man on the moon for all we knew but he had our trust. We did think he was some sort of vampire in fact, as he was a daysleeper and did his best work at night but decided that the lord was in our favour and this could not be the case. When brother Michael died, it was the end of the world as we know it. He was such a big part of our order.

Anyhow, I digress but your letter has touched me. I am unsure, however, that all the information that you are requesting is entirely relevent. I have completed that which I feel relevant to us helping you

1: Full names : Brother Mark Knopfler
2: Residential address: The Church of the Sultans of Swing Resort, Smegaroon 2
3: Your personal confidential Tel/fax numbers : Not that it would be of any use to you as you are also unable to talk so I cant see that this is a problem for you but we are unable to speak via the telephone as we are not in communication. The resort has a booking service which is about as close as we could get but phones are not allowed onto the resort
4: Age : 46
5: Occupation : Brother
6: Sex : Male
7: Nationality : Smegaroonian

Remain blessed and swinging

Brother Mark Knopfler
Church of the Sultans of Swing
Visit our Resort
Mrs. Victoria Paxton
Date: Thu, 27 Mar 2008

Please who is Victor?, are you sure you are mailing the right person or is there a mix up some were.

[oohh, hit a nerve there I think!]

Brother Mark Knopfler
Date: Fri, 28 Mar 2008

Dear VictorIA

A simple typing error on my part. Please accept my apologies for any inconvenience caused
Mrs. Victoria Paxton
Date: Fri, 28 Mar 2008

Dear Beloved,

Thanks for your interest, concern and love you have shown in this transaction, may the almighty Lord continue to bless you. It is not easy to trust somebody and I have been praying so hard to meet a good person that will not betray me at the end of this transaction because of what my husband family members did to him.

My husband made his fortune by successfully dealing on stocks and bonds in the early 1980's in Britain before he suddenly fell ill in 2005. As his health started deteriorating, I now know that my family members where after me trying to kill me and gain access to his wealth. They are his half brothers because my husband was the only son of his mother before she passed away.

I worked so hard to ensure that I was taking over to a secret place in Luxembourg where I now receive treatment. Please if I happen to die in this process do try to fulfil my dream by assisting charity organization all over the world. Never you disclose this transaction to anybody for security reasons and for the fear of my husband family members.

I looking forward meeting with you when this transaction is finalized by his Grace.

I will get back to you with the full details of this transaction when I must have had from you.
Please tell me more about your self for good understanding.

This is life and death, bear with me please

Thanks,

Your Beloved Sister.
Brother Mark Knopfler
Date: Fri, 28 Mar 2008

[ok, lets spell it wrong again!]

Dearest Victori

What would you like to know about me?

I am a brother in the Church of the Sultans of Swing and head of the resort here on the lovely island of Smegaroon. I have been in the order for 20 years now and have lived on Smegaroon for 12 of those.

I am a simple man and so dont really know what to tell you. I had a Clash with the senior priest a couple of years ago and had to decide, should I stay or should I go which would Rock the Kasbah but London was calling. It was almost a white riot but we came to an agreement in the end.

Im not sure what else you wuould want to know. I have been in the church for so long that my lfe is ultimately quite steady

Remain blessed and swinging
Mrs. Victoria Paxton
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2008

Dear Beloved Brother Mark,

I sincerely wish to express my thanks to you for your prompt, encouraging and positive response. I am most grateful and I believe that you understand the situation.

I am in a desperate situation here and like I have already mentioned to you, we need honest and kind hearted assistance from you.

Requirements:

1: Full names
2: Residential address (not P.O. box)
3: Your personal confidential Tel/fax numbers
4: Age
5: Occupation
6: Sex
7: Nationality
8: Annual Income

I have mentioned to you my present situation facing me, that I am undergoing treatment for esophageal cancer which I cannot speak on phone. my communication with you will be only via email.

I AWAIT YOUR URGENT RESPONSE

Cordial Blessing.
Your sister in Christ
Brother Mark Knopfler
Date: Mon, 31 Mar 2008

My dear Victoria

I have not heard from you and am concerned that something serious has happened to you and that your medical condition has in fact grown worse.
I have spoken to my dear friend Dr Antha Medics who is somewhat of a specialist in this area (he is a ENT specialist) who said that he is prepared to fly you over to his private clinic for more attention. This will of course take you out of harms way and away from any relatives that wish to harm you.

I have spoken to my fellow brothers and have been reading Genesis regularly. I feel closer to the Lord, its as if Jesus he knows me. I want you to stay with me, I know that a foreign country can be a land of confusion. Visit my friend and we can pray for an invisible touch and you can be trated like a duchess. Maybe we can have a party when you are better (I cant dance) but lets think positive.

Please put my mind at rest and let me know that you are ok

[Her mails were in fact in the spam box]

Mrs. Victoria Paxton
Date: Wed, 2 Apr 2008

Dear Beloved,

This is to inform you that l received a mail from you and thanks so much for your interest and concern you have shown regarding my health and let your friend not to worry because i have made up my mind to remain in the hospital i am until this transaction is sealed.

Furtherance to this, it is proper I inform you that hence we have decided to go into partnership to see that this project gets completed and sealed soonest, there will be the need we define our responsibilities before getting far into the project as that will help both parties know what is expected of us to do at the very right time.

You are expected and will be responsible to set-up an offshore transit account with a reputable bank in Europe , While I will be responsible for the legal charges of perfecting all legal documentations.

The funds will be transferred from where it presently lies into your newly established account with the bank which I am going to introduce to you. I also did inform you that I have mapped out all possible ways to see this transaction through to success at the long -run, hence the need I have to explain properly to you why this plan was designed this way.

It would have been very possible getting the funds across to any designated account of your choice but its so unfortunate that this method can't be used in executing a project of the sort and magnitude because the monetary body would or might investigate about the fund in question when a large sum of this amount has been transferred into your account in your country. Basically because of this reason I have decided we use the same bank in Europe that has a transaction agreement terms with our bank in Europe and also both banks share same telex type.

This method stands as the fastest, safest and easiest means the funds can leave that escrow account after all documents in your name and favour has been filed for application of funds release.

Please note that youŐre standing as the beneficiary of my funds which is another added advantage we have in getting the fund easily to your newly established account with the bank.

Kindly get back to me with your response after you have carefully read through the contents of this mail, so I can proceed in perfecting the documents in your name and favour and also furnish you with the contact Information of the bank so you can make enquiries on how to set-up an offshore transit account with their finance establishment.

All copies of documentations will be sent over to you for your perusal and file records as well. As soon as I hear from you, my attorney will have them prepared. I await your timely response to this mail.

This is life and death, bear with me please.

Cordial Blessing,
Your Sister In Christ
Victoria Paxton
Brother Mark Knopfler
Date: Thu, 3 Apr 2008

My dear Vitoria

What a delight to know that you are still here. Dr Antha Medics was concerned that you gone up to the spirit in the sky so its a relief to know you are still about and will die another day. We all prayed to the Madonna last night. It all went really well and we got into the groove and some of us saw a ray of light. I know you dont have to justify my love (its a term thats in vogue at the moment) but my heart is not frozen. I know you are not a material girl and really need to do something, like a prayer as I know your case is borderline.

We, at the church, are more than happy to help you in whatever way is possible. Just let us know what is required of us and we will attend to it. Your email for some reason is going into the spam folder which makes it difficult when you are trying to open your heart to me

Remain blessed and swinging
Brother Mark Knopfler
Date: Wed, 9 Apr 2008

Dear Victoria

I am most concerned about your lack of response. I accept that you may be having treatment but please do let me know that you are ok. I am awaiting your response to my last mail. Is there anything else you need from me?

Remain blessed and swinging
Mrs. Victoria Paxton
Subject: CONTACT THE BANK IMMEDIATELY
Date: Mon, 14 Apr 2008

Dear Beloved Mark,

Thank you very much for your email and maturity you have shown in this deal, I do apologise about my silence due to my unstable health. I was placed on observation by my doctor and asked to stay away from anything stressful including access to my note book and internet as this has been having adverse effects on my blood pressure.

I want to assure you that as long as instructions and guidelines i send to you are followed we have nothing to worry about, because it is entirely a straight forward official process.

What we need to do now is get this funds out and I am working seriously and I believe the trust and commitment we both have all this should be over in a couple of days. My Attorney has handled the entire documentations; he was responsible for drafting and notarizing all of the Affidavits which already has you in place as next of kin. He has handled all matters of probate on your behalf, hence you do not need to be physically present there in England , and you will also not be required to be in Court. I have taken care of the cost of running all the relevant official and legal logistics involved on my side of this business, including cost of retaining the services of the Attorney and obtaining the necessary official documents from England authorities, including other miscellaneous expenses which I have incurred to ensure a hitch free transfer of the funds to your account.

We will work together as partners and as one so that we can conclude this project and I am willing in giving you 15% of the total sum if only you will follow all my instructions fulfil my dream by assisting charity organizations all over the world and this transaction will be finalized in another six working days.

This is where your assistance came to help me put claims the funds with a Power of Attorney drawn with the help of my lawyer so you can immediately help me distribute the funds to charity organization all around the world, I have contacted the Finance company where the money is deposited and they are willing to work with you accordingly and I donŐt think this will cost you much than you setting up an account with them where the money will be lodged on your name before you making transfer.

All my hope in on this funds I am entrusting in you as a partner bearing in mind we have not met with each other, you have to take my advise (MY WORD IS MY BOND), when dealing with me you have to give me your full commitment as a partner if not I will have a charge of mind because this funds happen to be my last hope and I need to pay up my hospital bills.

l will advise you to contact the bank immediately and introduce yourself to them as the beneficiary of the funds deposited by Mr. Ricky Paxton, that you want know the modalities in putting claims to the funds, moreover you want to set up a Non resident account on your name where the funds will be deposited before been transferred to your nominated bank account in your country.

l believe with this instructions will be giving to you by the bank on the next step you have to take, My lawyer is preparing all vital documents on your name that will enable you put claims to the funds if asked by the finance company for proper verification.

Moreover I will be giving you instructions on how to disburse the money as soon as we progress further with this transaction.

Please you can see the trust I am imposing in you as a partner bearing in mind I have not meant with you or your family members, please donŐt betray this trust I am imposing in you.

Please find below the Contact information of the Bank. I need you to place a call across to the bank today and also send an email to the person in charge and request for guidelines and assistance in opening a non-resident account.

This is the name of the firm below, so kindly contact them and keep me updated.

BANK DETAILS:

ALLIANCE & LEICESTER BANK
Office Line: + 44-871-218-4467
Fax Line: + 44-700-608-4897
Email: info@allianceleicesternet.com

All I want you to do now is to make immediate contact with the bank and open an online account. Please do this and get back to me immediately.

Your Sister In Christ,

Mrs. Victoria Paxton

[The actual web site of that bank is www.alliance-leicester.co.uk ,
This bogus bank contact is "Victoria's" partner or boss - the closer. But you knew that too.]

Brother Mark Knopfler
Date: Tue, 15 Apr 2008
Subject: To Whom it May Concern
To: info@allianceleicesternet.com
Bcc: vicpaxton@hotmail.co.uk

To whom it may concern

I wish to introduce myself as the beneficiary of Mr Ricky Paxton and require to know the modalities regarding laying claim to said funds.
I have been advised to open an online account and request that you send me the information immediately

Remain blessed and Swinging

Brother Mark Knopfler
Church of the Sultans of Swing
Dr. Bishop Woodley
Date: Wed, 16 Apr 2008
From: "Alliance and Leicester Bank United Kingdom" <customerservice@allianceleicesternet.com>
To: Brother Mark Knopfler
Subject: From: Dr. Bishop Woodley

From: Dr. Bishop Woodley
Coordinator Account Department
Alliance & Leicester Bank.

Dear Valued Customer,

We are pleased to inform you that based on your recent request with our esteemed Bank, before we can proceed further giving you modalities in putting claim to the funds deposited by Mr. Ricky Paxton, you will have to provide a POWER OF ATTORNEY authorizing you as the sole beneficiary of the funds.

This document will be verified for is Authenticity and approved by the Board of Directors office. We look forward doing business with you in the nearest future.

A real plus

Regards,

As we look forward to serve you better................................

[I do always find it strange that the lads think that someone with a doctorate would work in a banks accounts department.....]

Mrs. Victoria Paxton
Date: Wed, 16 Apr 2008

Dear Beloved,

Good to know that you have contacted the financial institution.

Do follow up and obtain the funds accordingly and please have pity on me because this is delaying too much.

Thanks for your effort so far and God bless you.

Your Sister In Christ,

Mrs. Victoria Paxton.
Brother Mark Knopfler
Date: Wed, 16 Apr 2008
To: Alliance and Leicester Bank United Kingdom

Hello Dr Woodley

Thanks for your reply. I am dancing on the ceiling to know that you are able to help. I will attend to this requirement of your at once but it wont be easy like Sunday morning to organise but I will be as quick as I can even if it takes all night long. I will be running with the night to be in touch shortly,

Remain blessed and swinging
Brother Mark Knopfler
Date: Wed, 16 Apr 2008
To: Victoria Paxton

My deer Victoria

I have spoken to a man at the bank ( I think he was confused as he was a Doctor AND a Bishop, very odd name for an English person)
He is requesting a document to which I dont have. I have spoken to my assistant, Geraldine (who is the vicar in a place called Dibley and is over on secondment) if she had any idea but she didnt. I spoke to David who is the leader of the council and he wasnt sure what you needed either. Anyway, I digress. I must find my own personal Jesus and enjoy the brotherhoods policy of truth and leave in silence but everything counts (in large amounts) and your help is needed. How do I get this document?

Remain blessed and swinging
Mrs. Victoria Paxton
Date: Wed, 16 Apr 2008

Dear Beloved Mark,

I am very nervous sending you all documents making you the sole beneficiary of my funds and my lawyer told me it will cost 4,700 Pounds to have all document legalized on your name making you the beneficiary of my funds and I have paid with all the money left with me here in my sick bed bearing in mind I have not met with each other, your assistance came into this transaction because of my husband family selfish interest that I want to distribute his funds to charity organization all over the world, I don't want to be hurt the second time and my attorney have assured me that he will be sending me the document tomorrow and thereafter i shall be sending it to you for your peruse.

Please you have to send me Mail of Encouragement stating that you will not betray me and you have to assist me fulfil my dream because at the end of the day you will have to set up a non resident account with the bank in Europe where my funds will be deposited on your name before you start transferring it to your various account in your country for charity purpose.

I am typing this mail with tears coming down my eyes waiting for the day my dream will come through assisting the less privileged people all over the world.

Say me well to your family.

You will always be in my prayers.

Your Sister In Christ,
Victoria Paxton.
Brother Mark Knopfler
Date: Thu, 17 Apr 2008

Dearest Vitoria

I am astonished that you would require a man of the cloth , such as myself, to even hint that his activities and motives were anything less than completely honourable. Im not some killer queen you know. I want to help many orphanages send their children on much deserved holidays, over the seven seas of rye, possibly to Barcelona. There is also a clinic up the road from us which specialises in the treatment of fat bottomed girls and killer queens which I really hope to help out and I want to ride my bicycle. I want to ride my bike where I like. I want to break free you know and dont want to be under pressure but to be able to do as much good as possible. Both you and I share one vision and I know you wont stop me now and that we all need somebody to love. When it comes to charitable work, we are the champions my friend. You can have complete trust in me, I am not the great pretender.

I am slightly concerned about the arrangements you have made with the bank. While I reside on the most tranquil island of Smegaroon, I am a resident of the UK and as such, I would not be "non resident" as technically I am still resident in the UK but on secondment as all priests are and sent to wherever the ministry requires.

I await your documents

Remain blessed and swinging
Mrs. Victoria Paxton
Date: Thu, 17 Apr 2008

Thanks for your email, just to let you know that my attorney will be sending me the document tomorrow and thereafter i shall be sending it to you for your peruse.
Mrs. Victoria Paxton
Date: Fri, 18 Apr 2008

Dear Beloved Mark,

Here is the document making you the beneficiary of my funds Power of Attorney, Please don't betray me for the last time, which you can see what I am passing through in the hands of my husband family members for their greed and selfish interest, you are my only hope I have at the moment, you will have to sign your column on the Power of Attorney and have the documents sent to the bank for verification.

I don't really know how much it will cost you activating your non resident account so my funds can be transferred into it, you will have to ask them the charges and have the funds sent to them as instructed for the activation of your Non Resident account ..

Get back to me as soon as you have concluded with the bank, so I can forward you my doctors bank details so you send me some funds for my hospital bills and debt I am holding my lawyer for his good services.

Say me well to your family.

You will always be in my prayers.

Your Sister In Christ.

Victoria Paxton.

[Enclosed some typically bad word document as a jpg for me to complete]

Brother Mark Knopfler
Date: Mon, 21 Apr 2008

My Dearest Vitoria

I enclose the document for you. I am still yet to hear from the bank although I have written to them as you know. I am unable to help you any further without the bank contacting me. I have been shot down in a blaze of glory as the saying goes. Anyone would think I was a criminal, wanted, dead or alive with the concerns that you have about me. We are a holy order and are living on a prayer for you so that we keep the faith. You could give love a bad name with your worrying. Perhaps the doctors are giving you bad medicine which is making you more nervous as I certainly dont want to betray you or your trust.

As I have said before, I am officially a resident of the UK so there should be no funds required to open the account as it doesnt cost any money to open a bank account in the UK, online or otherwise so that should be no problem.

I have a meeting , this thursdsay, with Brother Christopher Reeve (He works so hard he is some sort of superman) and Sister Jenni Tals from our finance committee so please send me through some of your bills from the hospital and I will put them before the group with regards to helping you pay towards the costs. I know that hospital floors are slippery when wet and want to pay as much as we can knowing that in your weakend condition you could slip and fall over at any time and increase your financial burden.

Maybe you can get the bank to contact me or get your lawyer chap onto in

Remain blessed and swinging, Always

Brother Mark Knopfler
Church of the Sultans of Swing
Visit our Resort
Mrs. Victoria Paxton
Date: Wed, 23 Apr 2008

Please note that that i have been in the intensive care unit and that was the only reason you did not hear from me, please send the document to the Bank immediately and they will get back to you on how my funds are going to be in your possession.

Please and please i want to hear from you tomorrow and i await your urgent response.

[Perhaps the pain is making her cranky....]

Brother Mark Knopfler
Date: Wed, 23 Apr 2008

Dear Dr. Bishop Wardley

Please find enclosed the document you are requesting. I am also still waiting for more information from you regarding an online account which you have not sent. I hope that this is not indicative of the service your bank provides otherwise I will be moving my money somewhere else and advising Victori to do the same

Remain blessed and swinging

Brother Mark Knopfler
Church of the Sultans of Swing
Visit our Resort
Brother Mark Knopfler
Date: Wed, 23 Apr 2008

My Dear Vicky

I am so pleased to know that you are in better health. Always remember, Save a Prayer says Brother Le bon. Your disease is obviously hungry like the wolf but dont be moving to a new religion. The Union of the Snake or something bad. Have hope and that we shall all end up in Rio and your life will have not been notorious. Life should not be spoilt by careless memories and when your life on plant earth is over you will be a girl on film in the mind of your rememberers.

I have found the banks address. Im not sure that these are the best people and I have told them so. I asked for information on the the online account that you suggested but had heard nothing back. I told them that if this was the service I was to exepct then I would move my money elsewhere and advise you to do the same. Are you sure they are up to the job? Having a chauffeur doesnt mean that they are you know.

We are all praying for you

Remain blessed and swinging

Brother Mark Knopfler
Church of the Sultans of Swing
Visit our Resort
Dr. Bishop Woodley
Date: Wed, 23 Apr 2008

From: Dr. Bishop Woodley
Coordinator Account Department
Alliance & Leicester Bank.

Dear Valued Customer,

We are pleased to inform you that this office has received all vital documents making you the beneficiary of the funds deposited by Mr. Ricky Paxton.
The documents will be verified for is Authenticity and approved by the Board of Directors, with this modalities will be giving to you in setting up a Non Resident Account where the funds will be deposited.

Also note that the Account Department will get back to you shortly on how you are going to proceed in putting claims to the said funds.

We look forward doing business with you in the nearest future.

Regards,
A real plus....................................

[English people dont talk like that....and bank people even more but banks dont have boards of directors to approve anything. Its all done by the bank. This isnt the middle of the jungle you know!]

Mrs. Victoria Paxton
Date: Wed, 23 Apr 2008

I do understand what you have said, but you need to know that the Bank is a very busy and you always need to send email to them regularly and also call them if you don't hear from them so they can act fast in making my funds available in your possession within the best possible time because i am running out of patient.

I will send you an email later and i need to have some rest because i have just finished taking my drugs.

[ Yeah man... I can see squirels on the walls]

Dr. Bishop Woodley
Date: Wed, 23 Apr 2008

From: "Alliance and Leicester Bank United Kingdom" <customerservice@allianceleicesternet.com>

23rd April 20078

Attn:

Dear Sir/Madam.

YOUR ALLIANCE & LEICESTER APPLICATION

Following your application for claims as forwarded to this office, please be informed that this office is in receipt of your application for the funds of Mr. Ricky Paxton. His funds US$17,500,000.00 (SEVENTEEN MILLION FIVE HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS ONLY) is presently deposited in our online trusted/Suspense account, awaiting remittance into your nominated bank account as the new beneficiary because we received letter of authorization and other valuable documents from ADAMS SMITH & ASSOCIATES on your favor.

As a matter of urgency, be advised to reconfirm the following for immediate verification/processing and release of the funds to you:

1: Your telephone and fax numbers to enhance easy communication
2. Your complete / full names
3. Your country of origin
4. Your profession
5. A copy of your international passport or driver's license for proper identification.

Please note that you cannot make further transfer to your designated account in your country as the funds is deposited in a Suspense account which makes it impossible for us to deduct any charges from it.

There are only two options out for you to transfer your due entitlements, which are stated below:

1) That you open an online non-resident account with us where the funds can be paid into on your name before you can make further transfers to your designated account in your country.

2) Otherwise you can request for a direct transfer of funds to your designated account in you country, then you will have to pay for the Cost of Transfer (C.O.T) before we can transfer your due entitlement to your designated account as advised by you to us.

If you require any further clarification on the above, please contact your assigned Officer, Dr. Bishop Woodley direct on telephone number + 44-870-446-7330 between the hours of 9am-5pm United Kingdom time(Mondays-Fridays) or your can email us at bishopwoodley@allianceleicesternet.com

Please note that Alliance & Leicester Bank, United Kingdom reserves the right to decline payments/transfers if any irregularities are noticed.
We Remain,

Yours Truly,

ACCOUNTS.
Alliance & Leicester Bank,
United Kingdom.
********************************************************************************************************************************************************

This e-mail is intended only for the above addressee. It may contain privileged information. If you are not the addressee you must not copy, distribute, disclose or use any of the information in it. If you have received it in error please delete it and immediately notify Alliance & Leicester Bank, United Kingdom. Alliance & Leicester Bank is authorised and regulated by the Financial Services Authority and represent only the British Widows and Alliance & Leicester Bank Marketing Group for life assurance, pensions and investment banking. Signatories to the Banking Codes.

© Copyright 2008, All Rights Reserved. Alliance & Leicester Bank.

[As mentioned on its first, uh, mention, the actual web site of that bank is www.alliance-leicester.co.uk. Digging slightly further using, uh, dig:
% dig allianceleicesternet.com

;; ANSWER SECTION:
allianceleicesternet.com. 28800 IN A 217.11.54.126

;; AUTHORITY SECTION:
allianceleicesternet.com. 28800 IN NS ns1.domaindiscount24.net.
etc.

All pointing to hosts in Germany.]

Brother Mark Knopfler
To: Victoria Paxton

Dear Victoria

I havnt heard back from you so I hope that everything is OK. I am REALLY concerned about the bank you have chosen. I have STILL NOT HEARD from them regarding an account and the information. Are you sure that they are the right people for the job? I am beginning to worry that in your weakened state you are being taken for a ride by the bank and the guy there is delaying things so that he can take all the money for himself. This Doctor Bishop bloke, I have serious concerns about his ability and competance and really urge you to change the bank that you are using for this transaction to one more professional.

I am aghast that someone who is about to depost such a large sum of money into his bank is getting such a crappy service. If it doesnt get any better then I shall be writing to their head office to complain. Its no wonder people dont trust banks!

I hope to hear from you as you mentioned, as soon as possible so that we can try and prevent any further delay from that incompetant at the bank

Remain blessed and swinging

Brother Mark Knopfler
Church of the Sultans of Swing
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