YOUR ATTITUDE IS VERY BAD

There was a reason for that - Eliza Dane was confronted with some very stupid Lads...

This bait features a very unconvincing defence of some spectacularly ineptly-forged documents.

Eliza Dane has appeared in many adventures, most recently GREEN LETTER DAYS - A DRAMA IN TWO ACTS.]


The Scammers

Kenneth Clark, of the Bills & Exchange Department at Beavelly Properties Inc.
Collins Daran, Attorney
Suwignyo Budiman, Director of the "Bank Central Asia" in Indonesia
Paul M. Bassani

The Baiter

Eliza Dane, Odin-worshipping photomodel from Sydney, with a foul mouth and a bad temper
Ross Dane, Eliza's brother and a Captain in the elite Special Air Services Regiment.
Odin, Freyja, Frigga, and Baldur - deities of the Norse pantheon, invoked by Eliza


Andreas Schranner should sound familiar to everybody.


Kenneth Clark
From: Kenneth Clark
Bills & Exchange Department/Beavelly Properties Inc.
78, Mark sway Avenue,
Leeds, SW9 9PT
United Kingdom
Email: kennethclark1@myway.com
Date: May,
Dear Friend,
I am contacting you in regards to a business transfer of a huge sum of money from a deceased customer's account, a German property magnate Andreas Schranner, 64, his wife Maria, 62, all perished in the jet crashed On the 25th of July 2000, deceased, his wife and their two Children died in the Air France concord plane crash bound for New York in their plan for a world cruise, see the : Website:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/europe/859479.stm
Although I know that a transaction of this magnitude might make anyone apprehensive,I would like to assure you that we are sending you this mail with the best of intentions .PROPOSAL;Since then We have been trying to get this funds out of the bank, the sum of US$13,450,000.00 (Thirteen Million,Four Hundred and fifty Thousand United States Dollars) in an account that belongs to our foreign customers who died along with his entire family in the above accident stated above.Since his death, none of his next-of-kin or relations has come forward to lay claims to this money as the heir. We cannot release the fund from his account unless someone applies for claim as the next-of-kin to the deceased as indicated in deposited banking guidelines Where this money has been deposited.We now seek your permission to have you stand as a next of kin to the deceased as all documentations will be carefully worked out by us for the funds (US$13,450,000.00) to be released in your favour as the beneficiary's next of kin.It may interest you to know that we have secured from the probate court, an order of madamus to locate any of the deceased beneficiaries.
Please acknowledge receipt of this message in acceptance of our mutual business endeavour by furnishing me with the following;
1. Your Full Names and Address.
2. Direct Telephone and Fax numbers.
These requirements will enable us file a letter of claim to the appropriate departments for necessary approvals in your favour before the transfer can be made.
We shall be compensating you with 3 Million Dollars on final conclusion of this project, while the rest shall be for us (BEAVELLY PROPERTIES INC.)
Your share stays with you while the rest shall be for us for investment purposes in UK. If this proposal is acceptable by you, do not take undue advantage of the trust we have bestowed in you, I await your urgent response to my email alternative kennethclark1@myway.com
Regards,
Mr. Kenneth Clark
Bills & Exchange Department

[Your basic Dead Bank Customer letter.]

Eliza Dane

The usual "There's been some mistake" reply needs a break... So let's be all eager for a deal!

Mr Clark,
You have my attention - please explain further.
Regards,
Eliza Dane
Collins Daran

It's straight onto the Lad Lawyer; how boring!

31 May
Attn: Eliza Dane
From: Barr. Collins Daran
I am the attorney to Mr. Kenneth Clark and he had already briefed me of the situation. I deem it necessary to give you a step-by-step account of the process that I will go through in order to effect the wire transfer of the funds to your account.
As soon as I recieve your full details (Full names, address, telephone and fax numbers, bank name, bank address, account name, account number) I will commence by perfecting the documentations in such a way that you will be accorded the status of beneficiary to the funds. This is very important and it is the only way that we can meet up with the demands of the regulations and guidelines of the various monitoring authorities of the EU. While doing this, I will advance proof of the genuity, cleanliness and origin of the funds. I will obtain all the legal claims that will present you as the only surviving next of kin to the deceased. I will be doing this at the Crown Court tomorrow. It will show that the funds were legally willed to you by your late relative Andreas Schranner. In line with this, I will also pay the three years tax on your behalf as required by the law here.
With these, I will then proceed to the high court here and obtain the Certificate of Authenticity which is a declaration of the fact that you are Eliza Dane, the bonafide beneficiary to the funds. This is a very important certificate and I will pay the necessary registration fees and stamp duties before this can be issued. With all these certificates, your claim for the transfer of the funds to your account will be validated and the transfer certificate from the federal ministry of finance here forwarded to the paying bank who will effect the transfer without any delays. This is because the necessary provisions of the guidelines have been complied with. I will be sending you copies of all of these certificates after I have succeeded in obtaining all of them.
Meanwhile, I will appreciate if you will maintain the secrecy and confidentiality involved in this transaction. Please, do not discuss this transaction with any other person so that we can eliminate the incidence of leakage that will surely jeopardise this transaction. You know the situation of things and we can only heave a sigh of relief when the funds have been wired to your account.
I will also be keeping records and receipts of the various payments/expenditures I make here so that it can easily be refunded at the moment of sharing the funds. I urge you to do same (if the opportunity arises) so that we can be in tandem.
Collins Daran(Attorney)

DEPOSIT CART

Eliza Dane
Mr Daran,
I'll send you all the details when I can get them - I'm going to be all over the place for the next two days, and I can't guarantee getting all the info before then - I have a rotten memory for numbers!
BTW, what's this about the bank address? I thought that with electronic banking you didn't need physical locations anymore - or maybe I'm missing something.
Regards,
Eliza Dane
Eliza Dane
Mr Clark,
I've bcc'd you on my letter to Mr Daran - it took me a bit by surprise - you didn't mention about your lawyer getting in touch with me. You might want to explain things ahead, you know!
The payout you suggested is OK.
Do you still want my details? Or does Mr Daran have custody of those?
Eliza Dane

It seems that Kenneth Clark is now "Mr Not Appearing In This Scam".

Collins Daran '
02 June
Attn: Eliza Dane,
From: Barr. Collins Daran,
These information is required as urgent as possible so that i will commence action towards securing the fund in your name.
I have noted what you said about wire transfer and i think i will apply for that option while processing your payment so that your presence will not be needed. However, i am waiting for the detailed information to commence action. Regards Barr. Collins Daran
Eliza Dane
Mr Daran,
Here's the info.
Sorry for the delay but the last two days have been really hectic.
Full names - Elizabeth Danielle Dane
Address - 35 Westmoreland Grove, Glebe, Sydney, NSW, Australia 2125
Telephone and fax numbers - I don't have a fax.
The other thing is, you stressed the need for confidentiality, and I share a house with four other women, two of them total stickybeaks. I can't guarantee keeping this matter under wraps if you call me or vice versa.
Bank name - National Australia Bank
Bank address - 134 Liverpool Street, Sydney, NSW 2000
Account name - Elizabeth D Dane
Account number - G641 937 424
Over to you.
Regards,
Eliza Dane
Collins Daran

It's a bit early for the Lad to be so surly...

04 June
Attn: Eliza Dane,
Get back to me with the required information, I think you are the only delay to the completion of this transfer.
Barr. Collins
Eliza Dane
Mr Daran,
You can stow that attitude!
I sent you the info you asked for!
Eliza Dane
Collins Daran '
05 June
Attn: Eliza Dane,
I am the attorney to Mr. Kenneth Clark and he had already briefed me of the situation. I deem it necessary to give you a step-by-step account of the process that I have undergone through in order to effect the wire transfer of the funds to your account.
First of all, i have successfully obtained all the legal documents that gives you the sole right to the fund of Andreas Schranner. The last will of the late man was successfully changed to reflect you as the only surviving relation to the late man as was instructed by your partner Mr. kenneth clark whom he gave the power of attorney before his death. This process was perfected at the crown court here in London. And i have also validated the process of the registration at the Chennery.
However, I have also gone very far with the bank because i have applied on your behalf for the release of the fund to your bank as the law demands. The bank has acknowledged by appeal. And right now as i am talking to you, your payment file has been submitted to the legal department of the NatWest bank of London. I was informed that the bank is undergoing verification and screening of your payment file and as soon as they confirm every legal documents i submitted before them on your behalf, your payment will be approved and your fund transferred accordingly.
From what the bank updated me on your payment, i was informed that the bank pays foreign beneficiaries of fund through their affiliate banks closer to the beneficiary of the fund depending on the location of the foreign beneficiary.
Concerning your payment, the NatWest bank London, advised that you should make a choice of the bank from which you think that will be easy for you to recieve your fund. The two major affiliate bank of the Natwest bank of London through which your fund will be paid are as followes
a. Bank Central Asia (BCA)
b. The Dynamic security and Finance House of Holland.
You are advised to inform me of the bank which you prefer to recieve your fund from so that i will communicate the bank before the final payment approval is out. This is made for easy receival of the owners fund. I look forward to hearing from you as fast as possible. Again, a copy of your scanned id card will be needed as the bank mentioned that it is not in your payment file. Send it as attachment in your reply to this mail and make it as fast as you can.I also attached the investment deposit certificate of the late man. I advise you to keep this vital document safe as the bank might request it the moment they contact you.
Regards.
Barr. Collins daran

Suddenly I found my emails to Collins Daran bouncing back. Is this bait over already?

Eliza Dane
Mr Clark,
Mr Collins Daran's email address has developed faults and my messages to him are no longer being delivered.
Please advise.
Eliza Dane
Eliza Dane
Mr Daran,
The last two messages I sent have been returned as not being able to reach you.
Please confirm the moment you receive this one.
Eliza Dane
Collins Daran '
08 June
Attn: Eliza Dane,
I have been waiting for your information since last week, I thinks if i had your information since last week monday by now the transfer would have been done. I received this your last mail. On sending massage to me, to make sure that it went through, after sending it to this mail box, also send it to this send mail box provided as follow (collinsdaran2@yahoo.co.in) I look forward to hearing from you as you are the only delay to this transfer.
Barr. Collins Daran
Eliza Dane

Why is he blaming Eliza? Time for a slap!

Mr Daran,
How can it be my fault that my emails bounce back? That's your issue, not mine!
Holy Odin, I came this close to needing a new monitor.
These are the messages that bounced back:

Mr Daran,
Here's the info.
Sorry for the delay but the last two days have been really hectic.
Full names - Elizabeth Danielle Dane
Address - 35 Westmoreland Grove, Glebe, Sydney, NSW, Australia 2125
Telephone and fax numbers - I don't have a fax.
The other thing is, you stressed the need for confidentiality, and I share a house with four other women, two of them total stickybeaks. I can't guarantee keeping this matter under wraps if you call me or vice versa.
Bank name - National Australia Bank
Bank address - 134 Liverpool Street, Sydney, NSW 2000v Account name - Elizabeth D Dane
Account number - G641 937 424
Over to you.
Regards,
Eliza Dane
**
Mr Daran,
You can stow that attitude!
I sent you the info you asked for!
Eliza Dane
**
Mr Daran,
OK, that's good. I don't know if it makes a difference which bank I end up choosing. Any preferences?
BTW, you said something about sending a "scanned ID card" - we don't have national ID cards here (at least, not yet).
Regards,
Eliza Dane
**

OK, over to you.
Eliza Dane
Collins Daran '
09 June
Attn;Eliza Dane,
Did you get my mail and have you been able to reach the paying bank following my instruction.
Barr. Collins Daran
Eliza Dane

OK, here are some ground rules...

Mr Daran,
Three things:
[1] Don't call me "Dane" - it's "Ms Dane".
[2] I'll co-operate all right - except I can't give them what I don't have.
[3] If I give you my phone number, then what you said about secrecy is a dead issue. There are no secure lines here.
I suggest you stop with the whole boss-man attitude and start working with me, rather than trying to bully me.
Regards,
Eliza Dane
Collins Daran '
10 June
Dear Eliza Dane
Thanks for your mail, but i want you to know that there is no way i can bully you or even be hash on you.
First, you are my client and it is my duty to see that you receive this fund without any hitch. Secondly, you are a woman and there is no way i will treat you in an unpleasant manner. I respect women a lot and they are always love to be treated with utmost tenderness.
Always feel free to relate anything to me, that is the only way we can conclude this transfer as fast as possible. I think that by now, this fund would have been in your account. I have not handled any financial transaction that have taking so long.
I advise you to observe every of the banks instruction and follow them accordingly so that the bank will wire the fund direct into your account. The moment this is done, you will have access to your fund and i want you to do everything humanly possible to complete this transfer before the middle of next week.
I look forward to hearing from you on how far you have gone with the bank.
Regards
Barr. Collins Daran

Oh, a gentleman, are you? Let's see how long that holds for!

Eliza Dane
Mr Daran,
It's obvious that you got my last email, so no excuses for not understanding me!
I told you that I can't comply with what the bank said, because they want a national ID card, which we don't have.
I asked you for advice on this, and you gave me nothing - is there any chance you could stay on issue here?
Eliza Dane.
Eliza Dane
Mr Daran,
Are you receiving my messages?
I told you already that they want an ID card that I don't have.
Please confirm you got this.
Eliza Dane
Collins Daran
11 June
Dear Eliza Dane,
I am confirming the receipt of your mail, but you know that it is wrong and difficult for a bank to pay you such a hude sum of fund without an ID. Even if you do not have an id, dont you have an international passport.
You must try and find something that identifies you as Eliza so that the bank will be sure they are paying to the right beneficiary and that is why they are requesting for your id. This is a proof that you are the person to receive the fund. Please, see what you can do to prove to the bank your true identity.
Whichever is the case do update me and try and see that you complete this transfer this week.
Barr. Collins Daran
Suwignyo Budiman
11 June
Attn: Eliza Dane,
We have not heard from you again.
Update us immediately for the claim of your fund.
Regards,
Mr. S. Budiman
Bank Central Asia - Indonesia

The original message to the bank has gone missing, hence the "We have not heard from you again" reference.

Eliza Dane
Mr Bodiman,
I'm afraid that I can't comply with your request for a copy of my ID card, as we don't have official ID cards in Australia.
Advice would be welcomed.
Regards,
Eliza Dane
Eliza Dane

Eliza's pride can get the better of her.

Mr Daran,
Yes, I do know about banking and IDs, and I can work out that they'd like to know who I am before they sign off on the transfer. Hel, I may be blonde by I ain't dumb! If you could stop patronising me, I'd be a lot happier!
Yes again - I do have a passport. However, when I got it back in 2002, I had to sign a paper pledging that I would not only keep it secure, but that I would never make copies of it by xeroxing, scanning, or any other method.
Got any other ideas?
Eliza Dane
Suwignyo Budiman

This had to happen sometime...

11 June
Attn: Eliza Dane,
Your mail received.
If you don't have ID CARD, you can forward your bank details with other informations so that we can proceed and advise you on the next level.
Reply immediately.
Mr. S. Budiman
Bank Central Asia

Despite what he said, there was nothing attached...

Collins Daran
12 June
Attn: Eliza Dane,
From: Barr. Collins Daran,
I want you to know that every legal claim you have to lay claim to your fund is intact and was forwarded to the bank. I attached the legal approval obtained in your name before the bank approved the payment to your name and you have to also forward this to the bank as part of your proper identification and claim to your approved fund that is now with the bank Asia. I advise you to hasten up and have this fund transferred to your account before it will be to late. Now that the bank has approved this fund for immediate transfer to your account, i don't see anything that will be delaying your from claiming your fund.
This fund is now within your legal jurisdiction for claim and onward transfer into your nominated account in Australia, as a lawyer, i advise you to avoid any form of delay that will tantamount to late payment or problem. If you follow and observe bank's instruction strictly, i bet you have your fund in your bank latest before Wednesday. I have not embacked on a financial transaction that has taking such a long time and i know that the delay is coming from your own part and further delay might compel the original bank to canceal the payment and return it to it's excrew account because huge funds does not stay in a mobile wire transfer account for so long.
I advise you to act fast.
Best Regards
Barr. Collins Daran
Eliza Dane
Mr Daran,
You didn't attach anything to this - at least, anything that I can actually see!
You can talk all you like about the need for speed, but you have to do your part!
Eliza Dane
Eliza Dane
Mr Boudiman,
I've attached the form - filled out as best I can.
I think there are some other papers but I don't have them just yet.
Regards,
Eliza Dane
Suwignyo Budiman
13 June
Attn: Eliza Dane,
Open the attachment and follow up instruction immediately.
Regards,
Mr.S- Budiman
Director (BCA)

He attached two forms - not very good ones!

Eliza Dane
Mr Budiman,
You forgot to say "please". I don't work for you.
Also - you're a BANK! Send me the details for a transfer.
Regards,
Eliza Dane
Eliza Dane
Mr Daran,
Are you actually going to send me the documents this time?
Eliza Dane
Collins Daran
14 June
Attn: Eliza Dane,
Your mail received.
What transfer details do you want? We have intructed you what to do for the facilitationn of your fund.
The delay and fast conclusion on this project relies on your effectiveness.
Regards,
Mr. S. Budiman.
Director (BCA)

"The delay... on thos project relies on your effectiveness" - well, that's true!

Eliza Dane
Mr Budiman,
I want the details to arrange a direct transfer.
I am NOT going to remit money by Western Union.
Regards,
Eliza Dane
Collins Daran

I think his patience is starting to flag...

14 June
Eliza Dane,
I am not in any way happy about your attitude to this transfer at all. I am a lawyer and i have done all within my legal jurisdiction to see that the bank approves your fund for payment which they did. Any other obligation you are talking about is what i do not know.
You have to be serious and have your transfer completed or you relinquish the power of attorney. I have advised you to follow the banks payment instruction in other to have your transfer completed.
However, the documents i forwarded to you is as clear a anything. You only need to download it and you will get it old. I urge to get this transfer completed before it is too late.
Regards
Bar. Collins
Eliza Dane
Mr Daran,
I speak plainly. I don't bother with that PC crap about not offending - the only thing that happens then is that people get the wrong end of the pineapple.
I am so being serious. Any bank that wants payment by Western Union makes me nervous.
Final note - there are no documents; no attachments showing. I think it's my spam filters stripping off attachments.
I don't know why the deposit certificate arrived and these didn't but that's computers for you. I had my spam filters readjusted so it should be OK to try again.
Eliza Dane
Collins Daran
14 June
Attn: Mis. Dane,
Iwill resend it tomorrow
Brr. Daran
Suwignyo Budiman
15 June
Attn: Eliza Dane,
Open the attachment retrieve account details to wire the amount.
Regards,
Mr.S- Budiman
Director (BCA)

Eliza Dane
Mr Budiman,
I'm waiting for some documentation. I'll send it once I get it.
Regards,
Eliza Dane
Collins Daran
15 June
Attn: Eliza Dane
From: Barr. Collins Daran
This is the required documents that are needed to be in your posession. The certificate of deposit from the original bank in London, the affidavit of claim and the probate. This legal document was what gave you the sole right as the beneficiary to the fund before the London bank was able to approve your fund and gave the bank of Asia the go ahead to effect your payment. I advise you to hasten up and claim your fund so that your fund will be transferred without further delay.
There is no other thing that is holding your fund apart from your delay in fulfilling your payment requirement and i urge you to hasten up on that without delay so that the bank will wire your fund into your nominated account.
Barr. Collins Daran

He sent some documentation. You'd better brace yourself, because Eliza is definitely not going to be happy with it.

This is going to be a pleasure...

Eliza Dane
Mr Daran,
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS CRAP?
I'm going to be calm now, but by Skadhi's bow, it's not going to be easy!
Let's do the probate one first. I told you I was Ms Elizabeth Dane - not Mrs. And why the fuck did you put my bank's address as my home address? Oh yeah, and while we're here - two other things - back in 25 July 2000, I was still at school - and according to the last line, 25 July 2000 is when I died! Do you think I'm a fucking zombie?
So on to that Affidavit - well, it's more of the fucking same - except at one point he calls me Mr Elizabeth Dane.
I am so not sending these documents on. They'd be laughing their fucking heads off at the BCA.
Eliza Dane
Suwignyo Budiman
16 June
Attn: Eliza Dane,
We have received your mail.
You should expedite action so that your payment will be made before 20th of June
.
Awaiting your fast action.
Regards,
Mr S. Budiman
Director ( B.C.A)
Eliza Dane

A quick brush-off for the Banker...

Mr Budiman,
What's with all the urgency?
Regards,
Eliza Dane
Collins Daran

As explanations go, this is definitely the equivalent of putting fuel on the fire.

15 June
Attn: Ms Elizabeth Dane,
From: Brr. Collins Daran,
Your attitude is very bad and I have to say that. If you do not understand the reason for something, what you should do is to ask question. The last will and testament of the late man was followed in such a way that the affidavit and the probate will reflect the late of legal appeal and oath formation. The predating is to make sure that you meet the legal requirement that will accord you the beneficiary right so that the bank could be able to approve the fund under your name. And all this was reflected in the letter of administration forwarded to the bank as was signed by the high commissioner at law.
If that affidavit was not manipulated in that was it will be very difficult for my chamber to obtain an order of mandamus that will accord you the beneficiary right and present you as the bonafide benefactor before the original bank which is the Nat West Bank. There is absolutely nothing wrong with the affidavit and the probate because all the legal processes were met in other to get every approval right. And following the London financial policy, I have to present you as Mrs. by now because; it is more difficult to get such legal approval for an inheritance to one that is not yet married. Reasons are because, for the safety of such inheritance, the British government will put up a federal financial adviser to manage her fund. But while you are assumed to be a Mrs., it is believed that the affected is matured to handle her inheritance by her self. Finally, I used the address of your bank as your address because you do not provide me with your home or office address. And besides, an address that you have a relationship with is valid in such a legal proceeding and remembers, your affidavit was on proxy, do not forget that. I should not be telling you all this, but I have to do that to caution your arrogance. That documents I forwarded to you is 100% valid and in order, the only thing is that you lack the legal understanding.
Barr. Collins Daran.
Eliza Dane
Mr Daran,
If you think my attitude is bad, deal with it.
If you can't accept that I speak my mind and believe in making myself crystal clear, then cry me a fucking river!
So you think an unmarried woman will somehow not be acceptable as a beneficiary? DON'T FUCKING LIE TO ME! That kind of thinking was outlawed decades ago.
I don't know why you're covering up the fuckups that bonehead Peter Boothe made. "Reasons are because, for the safety of such inheritance, the British government will put up a federal financial adviser to manage her fund" - Holy Mother Frigga! That is so fucking wrong I can't believe you said it! I'm 23 years old, I vote and I pay my taxes, AND I LIVE IN AUSTRALIA. The British government would have FUCK ALL right to handle my affairs!
And the address issue? So you say I never sent you my home address - WRONG! I sent it TWICE! Like THIS!
**
Full names - Elizabeth Danielle Dane
Address - 35 Westmoreland Grove, Glebe, Sydney, NSW, Australia 2125
Bank name - National Australia Bank
Bank address - 134 Liverpool Street, Sydney, NSW 2000
Account name - Elizabeth D Dane
Account number - G641 937 424
**
Either you put this right or I am so out of this deal. I am not sending on paperwork with info that could be so easily disproved.
Eliza Dane
Eliza Dane

And after all that... I forgot something!

Mr Daran,
One other thing - no amount of legal issues could explain why the probate document says that Mrs Elizabeth D. Dane died on or about the 25th of July 2000!
Eliza Dane
(Single and very much alive!)
Collins Daran

And guess what, he either doesn't get it, or he's in denial.

16 June
Attn: Eliza Dane
From: Barr. Collins Daran
You should know that every legal and administrative process that has to do with the payment of your fund has been met. Again, the major approval documents which is a copy of the will and deposit certificate has been submited to the bank. A copy of the will also that specify you as the beneficiary is with the bank and that was why your payment was approved. The only delay in recieing your fund is you to meet up with the BCA bank and have your fund received in your account in less than 12 hours from the time you met the banks requirement.
This is a transfer you would have completed since last week if you had observed the banks payment condition. By now you should have been celeberating the completion of this transfer.
And i advise you to do the necessary thing have have your transfer completed.
Because the letter of administration which is and addit to the affidavit has everything specified on your behalf.
Barr. Collins
Eliza Dane
Mr Clark,
Your barrister Collins Daran is a complete dickhead - he wants me to submit forms to the bank that are obviously fake.
Is there any way you can get him off this business?
Regards,
Eliza Dane

Actually, no - the account has been closed.
I can still abuse Daran though!

Mr Daran,
You just don't get it, do you? YOU FUCKED UP!
You get me signed up as Mrs rather than Ms, come up with some cockamamie crap about the Brits not paying out to single women, and then try to frighten me with bullshit about British financial advisors.
You have me living at my bank.
Then, to cap it off, one of those forms actually states that I'm dead!
You can waffle and blather on until Ragnarok, but the fact remains that you're some misogynistic dinosaur and I've asked Mr Clark to sack you.
Eliza Dane
Suwignyo Budiman
19 June
Attn: Eliza Dane,
We have received your short note. Listen we want the best transaction for you, that is why you ask you to hasten up to enable your fund transfered. We have giving you the instrument you required to transfer the fund .
Update us immediately upon wire transfer.
Regards,
Mr. S. Budiman
Bank Central Asia (BCA)
Eliza Dane
Mr Budiman,
Not meaning to tell you your job or anything, but I still haven't got the forms I was told you needed, so please be patient. Regards,
Eliza Dane
Eliza Dane
Mr Daran,
It seems that Ken Clark won't be sacking you any time soon as his account is closed and his phone number didn't connect the one time I tried it.
So I guess you're still on the team. That said, are you going to get me the correct documents or not? I'd really like one that doesn't say I've been dead for close to seven years!
Eliza Dane
Collins Daran
21 June
Attn: Eliza Dane,
You do not know what letter of administration stand for and i cannot go on explaining to one who hardly understands and i know that Mr. Clark will pay me the remaining part of my money in full because i did a perfect job for both of you. I have done financial transfer for 5 other people who has recieved there fund. And three of them i started there transfer process two days after yours. But because they follow common instruction, they have recieved their fund. The only time you will regret what you are doing to yourself is when the apex bank which is the NatWest Bank London will canceal your payment and return this fund to a dormant account as a result of your delay. I have told you time without number that the only thing the Asia bank require from you is the deposit certificate since your fund has been approved for payment. Uptill this moment you are interested in things that are not relevant.
You have limited time as i am writing you and you better do what is right and have your fund transferred into your account before it is too late.
Barr. Collins
Ross Dane

Ross - you are weapons free!

Mister Collins Daran,
That's all she wrote, you dipshit no-load. You ain't going to scam my kid sister.
Back off NOW.
Ross Dane
Eliza Dane

I never miss the chance to abuse...

Mr Daran,
If I send those documents to the bank they're going to turn me down flat BECAUSE ONE OF THEM SAYS THAT I'M DEAD!
IF THAT'S NOT RELEVANT I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS!
WHEN WILL YOU FUCKING WELL LISTEN TO ME?
You can bluster all you fucking well like but the hard fact is that your deadbeat dropkick of an assistant produced a fucked up document and now it's fucked us both over!
Now LISTEN TO ME for a change, and your hand off your cock, and use your fucking brains for once!
Eliza Dane
Collins Daran

He seems to have ignored Ross and moved to the Power Of Attorney modality.

23 June
Attn: Ms. Dane,
Your partner called me from United states from where he took her wife for medical treatment. And he was not happy when i told him that you have not completed the transfer.
Right now he needs money to complete the hospital bill of the wife who is recieving treatment right now in USA. He even told me of the urgency of the whole issue. And after i told him you are the delay, he wanted to know how fast and the exact date you will complete the transfer. And if you are not going ahead, there is a new person who wants to help him complete the transfer without delay. This is because the wife need complete medical attention and he attached the picture of the wife and you can see how serious he needs money. He said if you cannot complete this transfer on or before Friday, kindly release the power of attorney to Mr. Mr. Paul M. Bassani. Below are his information
Name on Account Mr. Paul M. Bassani
Account # 4513644 08080
Branch # 003
Swift Code # ROYCCAT-2
Bank Name: RBC Royal Bank
Bank Address: 1501 Douglas Street Victoria BC. Canada
Zip. V8W-2G4
Tell the bank that you are releasing the power of attoney for him to receive the fund in the above stipulated account.
Please, take a decision immediately and get back to me in less than 12 hours so that i will commence the legal action without delay. This has to do with onse life right now. Regards
Barr. Collins
Eliza Dane
Mr Daran,
YOU ARE A FUCKING LIAR! I am not the one holding things up, YOU ARE! It's down to your stupid fucking documents full of mistakes, including me being dead!
I am in this for the long haul. I was ready to do what was required. But it all went to Hel in a hand basket thanx to you and that brainless fuckwit Peter Boothe. Freyja soothe my aching head...
So I'll say it again. THIS FUCKUP IS DOWN TO YOU, NOT ME, AND IT'S DOWN TO YOU, NOT ME, TO SETTLE IT! I am never going to sign off on any fucking power of attorney, and you'd better believe it!
So get those papers put right and let's get this over and done with!
Eliza Dane
Suwignyo Budiman
29 June
Attn: Eliza Dane,
We have received your mail. We only require deposit certificate from you. every arrangement to transfer your fund is under proceed, wire the required amount for urgent conclussion of your transaction.
Regards,
Mr S. Budiman
Director BANK CENTRAL ASIA
Collins Daran
29 June
Dear Ms Dane,
I have been in constant talk with Mr. Kenneth Clark over your inability to release the power of attorney, it seems he has a special likeness where you are.
He said i should get a reversed correction copy of the probate for you. I will get that done on Monday and i will forward it to you.
Regards
Barr. Collins
Eliza Dane
Mr Daran,
I'm not unable to release any power of attorney - I'm fucking well refusing to.
Remember that!
Eliza Dane
Eliza Dane
Mr Budiman,
That wasn't what I was told. I'm waiting for the proper paperwork, so you'll have to wait too. I'm sure there's some other work for you to do until then.
Eliza Dane
Suwignyo Budiman
03 July
Attn: Eliza Dane,
Your mail received. We epect your further action.
Regards,
Mr Budiman.
Collins Daran

This time he hasn't killed off Eliza., though it's still "Mrs" and at the wrong address.

03 July
Ms. Dane,
I just came back from the bank and this is the attached re-corrected probate that you requested. You have to reach the bank right away and finalise this transfer. Both of us has gine very far to a point that we have to be best of friends.
Best Regards
Bar. Collins

Eliza Dane
Mr Budiman,
Here are the documents you need. Let me know that you received them.
Eliza Dane
Eliza Dane
Mr Daran,
I've sent them the documents and now it rests with Wyrd.
And no, we don't have to be friends. Once this is all done and dusted I hope you fuck off to wherever you want, just as long as it's somewhere else.
Eliza Dane
Suwignyo Budiman
05 July
Attn: Eliza Dane,
We have recieved and confirmed the documents. However, for us to process the transfer, send the required amount as Instructed.
Awaiting for the transfer payment slip.
Regards,
Mr S. Budiman
Bank Central Asia
Ross Dane

He ignored Ross. OK - it's time for some direct action.
Ross writes to Eliza and cc's the Lads.

Liza, do not have anything more to do with these men. They are scammers - 419 tricksters. There was an Andreas Schranner who died in the Concorde disaster; but that is the only true thing that they've said. Send them nothing. Purge their details from your system and do not answer them again. Listen to me!
Collins Daran - Suwignyo Budiman - whatever your real names are - it ends here.
You didn't listen before so I'm telling you again.
You, and the Taliban, I put on the same level. You both sell lies and promises, and in the end, it all ends in tears. This time the tears are yours. I have the means, if I choose, to have you hunted down like the vermin you are.
Take this warning seriously.
Ross Dane
Eliza Dane

Oh noes! Eliza is horrified!

Ross,
What the fuck are you doing? This is none of your business! And making threats like that - do you want to be kicked out of the Service?
Mr Daran, Mr Budiman,
I'm really sorry about this - my brother has always been fanatical about watching out for me. He's been under strain overseas.
Eliza Dane
Collins Daran

Collins Daran clearly believes that the old soft soap will wash away any lingering suspicions. What a slimy little git!

05 July
Dear Mis Dane,
I recieved your mail, and i am happy that this transfer is almost complete. But i must tell you that worst enemy could be best friends someday. I do not see why we will not be friends. Even if you do not think good about me, i will always think and wish you good in life. And i know that by the time you have this fund in your account, you will change your attitude about me. Those that talk the way you do are among the best human in life. My profession thought me that, i know you are good at expressing your self and your feelings.
Whatevery happens update me because i need to have some new for Mr. Kenneth the moment he calls me from his base.
Bar. Collins
Ross Dane

But Ross didn't get to be in the SASR through giving up.

Liza, I'm not going to let you be a victim. These men are vermin - scum-sucking lowlifes leeching off a disaster.
Follow this link, and you'll see:
http://www.joewein.net/419/emails/2006-05/09/518531.135.htm
And to you - 419 creeps - just piss off and get out of my sister's life!

This time...
The Blood Eagle is a gruesome form of execution mentioned in Norse sagas. From Wikipedia: The Blood Eagle was a method of torture and execution that is sometimes mentioned in Norse saga literature. It was performed by cutting the ribs of the victim by the spine, breaking the ribs so they resembled blood-stained wings, and pulling the lungs out. Salt was sprinkled in the wounds.

[Yikes! one would think they hardly noticed the salt by that time.]

Eliza Dane
Mr Daran,
Just fuck off. We are never going to be friends; in fact I'd like to turn you into a Blood Eagle RIGHT FUCKING NOW and spit in your face afterwards.
Eliza Dane
Eliza Dane
Mr Budiman,
You can wait until Ragnarok, you slimy little shit-eating cocksucker.
Eliza Dane
Suwignyo Budiman
05 July
Mis Eliza.
Is quite unfortunate that you can insult the management of this unit due to your unbelief in this transaction. If you felt that you are doing to wrong hand upto you.
We shall definitely put a stop on this transaction pending when you apologize for your irresponsible behaviour.
Regards,
Mr. Budiman.
Eliza Dane
I'm sorry you're a lying, cheating, inbred, motherfucking, cocksucking little maggot, but I guess you can't help that - it's your nature.
My brother put it a little more diplomatically - that you're a sociopathic fraudster with the morals of a tapeworm. He didn't make any excuses for you.
Eliza Dane
Mr Daran,
Nothing to say? I guess the truth hurts, turd-burglar.
Eliza Dane
Collins Daran
08 July
Dear Mis Dane,
Thanks for your email, i just came back from manchester on a land case. Please, note that no one is interested in your money or anything. I think your problem is that your are not matured to take decision on your own, your are still being directed around by someone else and those that are like you do, don't go far.
They end up loosing a lot of great opportunities.
Please, as a matter of urgency, since you do not believe in this transfer. can you kindly release the power of attorney now. Mr. Clark assured me that he will compensate you with a $100,000 dollars after he conclude the transfer with his now partner. Please do this today so that i will sue the power of the attorney to effect a change of name right away. And i bet you this transfer will be completed this week to your greatest surprise then you can have a word to tell your adviser after that.
Treat this mater with urgency and every seriousness.
Thanks
Bar. Collins
Eliza Dane

My problem is that I didn't listen to my brother earlier. People who let themselves get ripped off are victims, and I am not going to be a victim. Let me put you in the picture. My brother is a soldier. He serves in Special Forces - that's right, the kind of soldiers who hunt down terrorists. I'd ALWAYS trust him over a maggot like you. He's protecting the freedom we enjoy - which sadly includes the rights of slimy little fucks like you to try to con people. Wherever you are - Ross said you were probably in Nigeria - I hope you die soon, and hopefully in agony. If I could I'd make a Blood Eagle of you.

This time he gave up.


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