Playing it Cool


Lewis D. "Lewd" Noogie has graced this site with many adventures, most recently:
We Are Not Talking About His Idiotness
and perhaps most famously:
Don't False Me to Do Stupid Thing to You.

Here he fields his own imaginary barrister against two separate teams of scammers who jockey for position, one team making up another imaginary barrister to impersonate his imaginary barrister. Got that?

The best way to enjoy this scambait is to invite your friends over for drinks and assign them reading roles.

Scammers
Eric Cool- London Airport Police / Interpol Officer in Charge
Diplomat - nameless diplomat invoked by the scammers as part of their cover story
Officer Kenneth Olu - Nigerian Police Officer
Fake Barrister Dada / Akpu Ike - Figment of Kenneth Olu's Imagination (but with an email address)
Mrs. Eric Brown - The Banker For this Scam
and
Dr. Joe Morgan - The Banker for what turns out to be a completely different scam

vs

Lewis D. "Lewd" Noogie- International Hotel Consultant
Barrister Idi Amin Dada - Former Ugandan Dictator, Now Working as a Barrister in Lagos
Melissa - imaginary cocoa orphan, represented by Lewd's imaginary Barrister Dada


Eric Cool

From: ERIC COOL <officexxxxx2@att.net>
To: undisclosed-recipients
Subject: Attn: Beneficiary
Date: Thu, 2 Dec 2010

From: The officer in charge.
Airport Police Department UK.
Mr. Eric Cool.
Tell: +44-703-194-3682

Attn: Beneficiary.

We write to inform you that our security agent discovered One Trunk Box containing some huge amount running in dollars from one diplomat who said that the consignment/fund belong to you and was meant to be delivered to your given address, the consignment/fund has been moved to a bank here for safe keeping pending when you confirm this subject matters , meanwhile the diplomat are still under our custody for further interrogation. You are therefore advice to get back to this office consigning this issue as this will enable us see to the released of your fund to you, failure to respond we will not hesitate to contact your government for further action. Kindly complete below information.

(1) Your full name:
(2) Marital status:
(3) Amount expected:
(4) Purpose of receiving the fund:
(5) Direct phone number:

Regards,

Mr. Eric Cool.
Lewd Noogie

Lewd tries the classic 'another scammer is eating your lunch' technique.

Mr. Cool,

I find your email to be somewhat confusing. While I have been working with a barrister in Lagos, Nigeria on a financial transaction, he has not informed me of any movement of the fund yet. I also don't know why it would be coming into the UK as we are having the funds moved here to Russia. You may have contacted me by mistake.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie

Eric Cool

Mr. Cool hastily urges Lewd to drop all contact with the other, scammier scammer.

Hello Lewis D. Noogie.

We never contacted you by a mistake as you may think because before we effect contact to you all your details was tag on the consignment to show that it belong to you, also during our interrogation the diplomat confess to us that instruction was given to him by his group to divert the consignment/fund to their own selfish use. You should be happy to hear that your fund has being discovered from hoodlums instead of talking about making a mistake by contacting you. You rather stop further contact with whosoever and focus your attention and effect claim to your discovered fund. Your fund is presently deposited with a bank here and will be release to your immediately you supply us with the required information.

We look forward to hear from you.
Eric Cool.

Lewd Noogie

Mr. Cool,

I thank you for the information. I have forwarded your email to the barrister in Lagos and I will let you know when he responds.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie

Lewd Noogie

Having invented a rival scammer, Lewd 'contacts' and activates him.

12-04-10

Barrister Dada,

Here is an email I received from an airport police agency in th UK. You didn't notify me about the fund being moved to the UK. It was my understanding that there would be no release of the fund until I paid the $3,550 for the DIST certificate. Has there been a change of plans? And why would it go to the UK?

Please update me.

Lewis

[I sent this to Barrister Idi Amin Dada to be forwarded to Eric Cool.]

Barrister Idi Amin Dada

Barrister Dada, understandably irked at another scammer trying to horn in, sends the following to Mr. Cool:

 

 

LEAVE NOOGIE ALONE
I DEY SERIOUSOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Eric Cool

You don't have to disclose anything to your so called barrister to avoid misdirecting you because according to the diplomat both of them plan to divert your fund to their own selfish use. If you continue given him feedback he will see a way out to convince you beyond reasonable doubt . You are therefore advice to stop further contact with him and focus your attention to us in order to enable you receive your recovered fund presently in a bank here. Go ahead and forward the required information immediately after receipt of this message.

Yours truly,
Eric Cool

Lewd Noogie

Mr. Cool,

I don't understand why you would ask me to abandon the barrister in Lagos on the word of this diplomat you have in custody. It seems that if there a problem he should be involved in sorting it out.

Barrister Dada said he has tried to contact you without success and has requested I forward payment for the D.I.S.T. to him so that he can provide the document to you as soon as you contact him. Barrister Amin, while being very expensive, seems to know what he is doing. I will keep you updated on any new developments.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie

Eric Cool

Attn: Sir,

Let it be known to you once again that your so called barrister is involved in this subject matter, according to our founding's from the diplomat during our interrogation the diplomat said that it's the barrister that instructed him to divert the fund to their own selfish use. You should be happy that we discovered your fund at the point of diversion to another country. We the Interpol department our duty is to control the airport day and night. Never you forward any payment to the barrister otherwise you will leave to regret it at the end. We have not in any way ask you to send any payment or any documents to us ? He is an imposter trying to extract funds from you after his effort to divert your entire fund. You have to stop further contact with him to avoid knowing what is going on, we have contacted (Economic and Financial Crimes Commission EFCC ) in Nigeria to track the barrister down for his dubious act. Your entire fund is well kept fine and will be release to you immediately you supply the required information in order to forward to the paying bank and instruct them to effect remittance into your account. Kindly refer to our first e-mail sent to you and be advice to forward those required information in your next response. Finally, never you contact the barrister again or to respond back to his e-mail because he is an imposter.

[He is also imaginary, just like Eric Cool's barrister is imaginary. But you knew that.]

Yours truly,
Eric Cool.

The Economic and Financial Crimes Commission actually exists. "Mr. Cool" has not contacted them. And he is not "Mr. Cool." But you knew that.

Fake Barrister Dada

The lads set up a phony email address very similar to Barrister Dada's...

From: Idi amin Dada <iamin.dada@yahoo.com>
Subject: update
Date: Mon, 6 Dec 2010

Dear Lewis.

I must let you know the truth because it's good to be truthful and not to lie. To be honest with you I planed with the diplomat to divert your fund due to some reasons best known to me but I never know that he will be cut at the UK airport by the police. The diplomat is presently under the custody of the police department in UK and according to the information reaching me tonight when I got home I was told that the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission EFCC officers came to my house for an arrest but due to the fact that I was not at home then they have to leave a message that they want to see me in their office. I am on the run now and I will never report to their office to avoid being arrested and go to jail. Please forgive me for this ugly act and be advice to focus your attention with the instruction given to you by the UK police so that they can release your fund to you.

Best regards,
Barrister Dada.

Lewd Noogie

(to fake Barrister Dada)

Barrister Dada,

I don't understand what you're telling me. That diplomat in London really had the fund? Why would you try to divert it? What about the $17,000 I've invested in this transaction? When are you going to get that back to me?

I need answers now! Don't make me have to come down there to Lagos to find your ugly ass.

Lewd
Fake Barrister Dada

Dear Lewis.

I am written you this message as an instruction given to me by the police department here, they cut me last night on my way going out of the city. Am presently under the police custody and I was instructed to write you and apologize for what I have done to you due to my greediness. I will be facing the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission EFCC soon because of my greediness. All money you have invested in this project cannot be return back to you again because we have used them for a purpose. My reason of diverting your fund is to make use of them as I wanted to leave this country at all cost to settle down with my family in another country with the fund and have it invested over there but I never new that the UK police will control the diplomat and sized the entire fund from him. Please forgive me with the name of our good God although am not worthy to be forgiven but have mercy on me as I don't know if I will be back from the jail again. Your fund is presently in UK under the control of the police and the diplomat is also in the UK police custody. Ensure to effect claim to your fund because it belong to you. Once more am sorry for my act. Please note , when I was running last night because of the police I lost my organizer where I write out my e-mail ID and password, in case someone contact you regard to your fund base on a fact that he or she have pick my organizer never to respond back. Also I may not have access to reach you again as I will be going to jail after sending this e-mail to you.

Best regards,
Eric Cool

The pretend cop tries to scare Noogie.

Attn: Lewis D. Noogie.

You are advice for the last time to simply forward below required information. Kindly note that if any further delay to comply as instructed we shall have your entire fund confiscated without further delay and also contact your local police for an arrest to enable your government question you for money laundering. Below herein is the required info complete it and forward all to us accordingly.

(1) Your full name:
(2) Marital status:
(3) Amount expected:
(4) Purpose of receiving the fund:
(5) Direct phone number:
(6) Occupation:
(7) A copy of your ID:

Immediately we receive the information, instruction will be given to the paying bank to release your fund.

Regards,

Mr. Eric Cool.
Lewd Noogie

(to Fake Barrister Dada)

You used my money for a 'purpose'? What does that mean? What purpose? Barrister Dada, I don't want to come across as terse but YOU OWE ME $17,000 and I want to know how you're going to get it back to me. On top of this, I've got some asshole storm trooper in London who's threatening to have the local cops here come and roust my ass. Idi, I don't need this kind of sh*t at this point in my life.

Jeez, I don't know what to do now.

Thanks a lot, dickhead.
Officer Kenneth Olu

(using Fake Barrister Dada's email account)

To whom it may consign.

Sir,

The person you are referring this e-mail to is under our custody and he will be handover to the EFCC soonest , we arrested him last night as a result of his greediness to divert your fund to his personal use. Before he was arrested we receive a signer from the UK Police regard to what he has done. Do not be worry as we are going to retrieve back your entire fund which you have stated you spent. Be kind to forward any prove of payment to show that you really sent money to him, forward the info to this same mail box. However, we have advice the UK police to treat your matter with understanding and never to get you arrested as plan . You are expected to cooperate with the UK police with any instruction given to you so that they can achieve their aim as to see that you receive your recovered fund.

Regards.
Olu Kenneth.
(Nigeria Police Officer )

Lewd Noogie

(to Eric Cool)

Mr. Cool,

Please know that you are the last person that I want trouble with but you must understand that a problem has arrisen with my barrister in Lagos that I need to sort out before I can do anything else. I can assure you that it is not necessary for you to inform the local police of any of this as I have done nothing wrong.

I ask your patience and I will get backto you as quickly as possible.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie

Eric Cool

Attn: Sir.

You have nothing to sort out with your so call barrister, already he has being arrested by the Nigeria Police about to handover to the Nigeria Efcc. We are here to render any kind of assistance you may need because our duty is to protect life and properties. We did well to recover your fund from the hoodlum who called himself a diplomat and your barrister Dada. Just go ahead and respond back with the earlier required information to enable us instruct the paying bank to release your fund to you. Your fund needs urgent attention to leave to your bank account.

We look forward to receive the information.

Eric Cool.
Lewd Noogie

Officer Olu,

As you did not give me your personal email address, I am responding to this one in the hopes that you receive it.

There has been a further development. I just received another email from Barrister Dada informing me of where to send the charges for the D.I.S.T. I'm not sure who the guy is that you arrested but it is certainly not Barrister Dada. The Barrister also informed me that the fund in London has been released from the airport and safely deposited.

I thank you fro your time and effort in snagging this fraudstar who was apparently trying to divert this fund for himself.

Thank you again,
Lewis D. Noogie

Officer Kenneth Olu

(using Fake Barrister Dada's email account)

Attn: Sir.

There is nothing like any new development as informed by the group who you are in contact with, do not be deceive by whomever you are in contact with to avoid regrettable end at last. The person who informed you that your fund is safely deposited in London is nothing but an imposter. Don't forget that already you fund was about to be diverted by your barrister Dada and his partner, why suddenly informing you that your fund is in London and also deposited. Come to think about this, have you in any way agreed with your barrister that your fund will be lifted to UK ? Think about this. Can't you see that you are being contacted by another fake group who plan to drain you. You are hereby advised NOT to remit further payment to any institutions with respect to your transaction as your fund is presently under the control of the UK Interpol and will be release to you immediately you comply with their directives. I hope this is clear. Any action contrary to this instruction is at your own risk. Disregard any further e-mail received from this group who claim to be barrister Dada. Barrister Dada is still in our jail if possible come to our office to take a look at him as to believe what we are telling you. By tomorrow we shall hand him over to the EFCC to face the law court as regard to the money laundering charges. Don't allow the UK Interpol to contact your government with the subject matter and ask them to charges you for money laundering. Contact the UK Interpol and effect claim to your fund immediately . Once again do not make payment for the D.I.S.T. as instructed by the group you are in contact with. Hope to hear urgently from you.

Regards.
Olu Kenneth.
(Nigeria Police Officer ) .

Lewd Noogie

Mr. Cool,

There has been a further development that you need to be informed of. You are correct that someone was arrested in Lagos by the Nigerian police but it was apparently someone trying to pass himself off as Barrister Dada. I have received correspondence from Barrister Dada with instructions on how to proceed with obtaining the D.I.S.T.

I thank you for your concern and this fraudstar in Lagos would probably not have been caught without your attention to detail.

Thanks again,
Lewis D. Noogie

Eric Cool

Attn: Sir.

What has gutting to you that you cannot follow simple instruction? Well if you must know the person that was arrested by the Nigeria police is Barrister Dada as a result of corruption and trying to divert fund that does not belong to him. You may be in contact to those who try to distract your attention but at the end we will see who regret it. For the fact the after our warning to stop further contact with whosoever yet you continue listing to their fake story, before the end of working hours today we shall alert your local police to get you arrested without delay so that you will also face money laundering charges before your government. Attachment below is your consignment picture as at the time of interception at the UK airport. You have only Ten hours from the time of this message to simply forward 1of 7 required information otherwise failure to comply we will act accordingly.

Yours truly,
Eric Cool.

Eric attaches a photo of a valise filled with $1 bills...

If you like looking at photos of fake money and gold, see SHOW ME THE MONEY.

Lewd Noogie

Mr. Cool,

I'm certain there has been a terrible mistake here. I heard from Barrister Dada again today and he is definitely not in jail. The Nigerian police have captured someone else who is obviously trying to impersonate Barrister Dada.

I can also say with some certainty that the picture you sent me is not connected to the transaction I am involved in. The picture shows a case full of stacks of $1 bills. The fund I am assisting the barrister to relocate is worth much more than shown in this photograph. You have obviously captured someone impersonating a diplomat carrying a relatively small amount of money.

I assure you again that I am doing nothing that the local police here in Russia would be interested in and implore you not to contact them. I appreciate your assistance and if you're ever here in Russia you are welcome here in my hotel.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie

Eric Cool

Attn: lewis d. Noogie.

Your e-mail well noted with his contact understood. The consignment picture sent to you is not containing only a million dollar as you may think, beside that it was how they package the consignment before it was intercepted at the airport. Every of your details are also attach right inside the consignment as prove of ownership and for that reason we where able to reach you. If you like continue communicating with whosoever that call himself barrister dada but at the end you will leave to regret it all, the person you are in contact with is not barrister dada rather it may be another group who try to convince you beyond reasonable doubt in order to extract funds from you. If you must know this matter will interest your government as we are going to copy this message to your police to be aware but we will also reach them back and ask them to calm down first in order to treat your matter fairly but if you insist not to comply then we will let you know that we are governmental security agency. Remember you are not above law and by the time you face money laundering charges then you will leave to say we have earlier advised you to effect claim to your recovered fund. As of today barrister dada has being handed over to the Nigeria EFCC, you can listing to their news if you have access so as to believe what we are telling you. That person you are in contact is not barrister Dada rather he hacking into dada mailbox and then continue communicating with you as barrister Dada, according to Dada statement in the Nigeria police custody he said that he lost his organizer during the time he was running for the police and we guess that the person who is communicating with you must have being the person that pick the organizer. For your safety and security reason be warn to stop further communication with whosoever and focus your attention here because your entire fund is presently in the UK and will be release to you immediately you supply 1of 7 required info. Bear in mind that failure to comply we will give further instruction to your local police. Always check your e-mail in every hour and ensure to be responding back immediately.

Get back as soon as possible.

Eric cool.

Cc: UK court of law.
Cc: Ministry of Finance.
Cc: Nigeria EFCC.
Cc: Police Department Gadyukina, Russia

Officer Kenneth Olu

(using Fake Barrister Dada's email account)

... and, apparently, making up his own fake correspondence!
According to Lewd Noogie, everything from the fake Barrister Dada address is from the lads. The real (that is to say, Lewd's) Barrister Dada only emailed Eric Cool once.

Attn: Sir.

Further notification regard to who you are in contact with. Just take a look at the below e-mail he sent to me asking me to work together with him to extract funds from you although I have not replied him back but I will do so in order to track him down as well. For your information this person you so much believe is an imposter, he has hacking into the mail box he use to be written you and we guess that the same mailbox maybe belonging to Barrister Dada who has being arrested . You have to stop contacting him because the real Barrister Dada has being arrested and have being handed over to the Efcc. Any further dealing with this person is at your own risky. Contact the UK Interpol and comply with their instruction to enable you receive your recovered fund. This is all we can advise you.

Olu Kenneth.
(Nigeria Police Officer ).

To: " Idi amin Dada " < iamin.dada@yahoo.com >
Subject: TO HAVE A DEAL WITH YOU?
From: Idi amin Dada <xxxxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com>
Date: Wednesday, December 8, 2010, 9:11 PM

Hello Olu,

Compliment of the day. My real name is Akpu Ike, my reason of contacting you is because am in contact with Lewis Noogie as barrister dada but I notice that you are also in contact with him as Police Officer who has arrested the barrister . I recently hacking into his mailbox and then affect contact with Lewis Noogie as barrister dada, really I no that the real barrister dada is under the police custody. I have decided to contact you to have a deal with you, I want you Mr. Olu Kenneth to work with me so that both of us with extract fund from Lewis Noogie. I made him understand that barrister dada is not in police custody that there is a mistake therein. He has believed me beyond reasonable doubt, I also inform him that the fund in question is also in London. Now this is the deal, you have to contact Lewis and inform him that barrister is not under your custody that the person you apprehended is a deferent person. This is to convince him that am still the same as barrister dada. I have ask him to send a fee and both of us will share it together at the rate of 50/50. If you don't mind can we meet somewhere so that we can talk face to face. Get back to me.

Best regards,
Akpu Ike.

Lewd Noogie

Mr. Cool,

Will you please explain to me why it was necessary to copy this correspondence to the Gadyukina police department??? Didn't I explain to you that I have done nothing that will be of interest to them?? Why are you trying to stir up sh*t with them??

Look, I've asked you to be patient here. The Nigerian police have copied me on an email from some guy named Akpu Ike who says he's got control of Barrister Dada's email and is trying to scam me. I need time to get this sorted out and figure out what the hell is going on over there in Nigeria. I have spent too much money on this transaction and I may have to make a trip to Lagos to fix this.
I ask you again for your patience and please don't send any more emails to the Gadyukina police, for chrissake. Those guys get excited easily and I don't need them snooping around my affairs.

I'll get back to you as soon as I have a plan.

Lewis D. Noogie
Eric Cool

Attn: Sir,

Our reason of copying an e-mail to Gadyukina police department is because you have fail to follow up with our instruction after all our advice given to you. Don't you know that this matter has to do with financial issue which may lead to money laundering. For your information we have communicated with the Gadyukina police department more than five times today although we have ask them to calm down until we are through with you but if you fail to comply as instructed then we will given them instruct to carry on with further action so that you will be charge for money laundering without any further delay. don't forget that if this happen your image will be dent. Be inform that your entire fund is lying down here in the UK and is not advisable rather we will advise you for the last time to simply supply the required information so that we will in turn instruct the bank where your fund is to release your fund. Don't you want to effect claim to your fund? Comply now before something will go wrong then you will leave to regret it all.

Looking forward to hear from you.
Eric Cool.

Officer Kenneth Olu

(using Fake Barrister Dada's email account)

Subject: ANOTHER MAIL FROM HIM

From: Idi Amin Dada <iamindada@yahoo.com>
Subject: Am disappointed in you
To: Idi Amin Dada <iamin.dada@yahoo.com>
Date: Friday, December 10, 2010, 1:38 AM

Hello Olu Kenneth,

Am disappointed in you, why should you contact Noogie with respect to what I discus in confident with you. Don't you need money in your life? Or do you want to die in police work? Come on my friend you have to work hand to hand with me to enable both of us make money together. Never have you related any information to him again because it will not help you. Get back to me as soon as possible with your readiness to work with me.

Best regards,

Akpu Ike.
Eric Cool

Subject: Re: FULK YOUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Sir,

This is Eric Cool from UK, below e-mail was sent to us but we dont no the person. Do you have anything to do with him? You have to be careful to avoid regret. I shall respond back to you through the other e-mail.

Eric Cool.

From: Idi Amin Dada <xxxxxxxxxxx@yahoo.com>
Subject: FULK YOUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
To: officexxxxx2@att.net
Date: Friday, December 10, 2010, 2:8 AM

AM WARNING YOU STAY AWAY FROM NOOGIE BECAUSE AM NOT THROUGH WITH HIM YET. BARRISTER DADA MAY BE IN JAIL BUT THAT IS OUT OF QUESTION, I WANT TO EXTRACT FUND FROM NOOGIE SO PLS LEAVE HIM FOR ME AND DONT DISTRACT HIS ATTENTION. AM LUCKY TO HAVE ACCESS TO THIS E-MAIL ADDRESS AND I SHALL GO ON AND ON WITH NOOGIE. FULK YOUOOOOOOO.

THANKS.

AKPU AS BARRISTER DADA

That's not quite the way I remember writing it...

Lewd Noogie

Mr. Cool,

You contacted the Gadyukina police FIVE times today?? Please tell me you're joking.

Mr. Cool, you don't know what these Gadyukina cops are like. There's not much crime here in Gadyukina so they're looking for any excuse to arrest someone, anyone, for any reason. I must ask you again, please leave those guys out of this.

I heard from Barrister Dada today and I still don't know what to do. I'm almost sure it's really him, even though the Nigerian police tell me he's in jail. If you could just give me another day or two to come up with a plan to verify this I would be most grateful. And please, no more correspondence with the Gadyukina police, I beg you.

Lewis
Eric Cool

Attn: Sir,

We guess you receive the e-mail we sent to you through the other of our office mail box. If yes we hope you have gone through the message to no the exact person that sent it to us, that person is acting to be Barrister Dada not knowing that the real person is in jail. Be careful with him to avoid regrettable end, we have warned you before to stop further communication with him or feeding him with information in order not to no the present status. Barrister Dada is presently in jail in Nigeria , also the diplomat is still under our custody but soon we shall hand him over to his government so that he will be charge for money laundering.

However, if you have asked us to stop further communication with your Gadyukina cops we will do that but let it be known to you that if you fail to comply within your stated date we may have no option than to instruct them to carry out the action without further delay. As at today the bank where your fund is deposited her in UK contacted us stating that the beneficiary to the fund should effect claim immediately , as you can see your fund need urgent attention to be into your account as such you are therefore advise to conclude with what you are doing and have the required information send to us so that we will in turn instruct the paying bank to release your fund.

Expecting your response.

Yours truly,
Eric Cool.

Lewd Noogie

Mr. Cool,

I am still in contact with Barrister Dada as I am not 100% convinced that he is not the real barrister. However, I'm going to hedge my bets. Please give me the email address for whomever it is I need to contact to secure the release of my fund.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie

Eric Cool

Attn: Lewis D. Noogie.

As law demands before we link you up with the bank where you fund is you have to provide below listed information.

(1) Your full name:
(2) Marital status:
(3) Amount expected:
(4) Purpose of receiving the fund:
(5) Direct phone number:
(6) Occupation:
(7) A copy of your ID:

Immediately we receive the information, instruction will be given to the paying bank to release your fund and also we will give you every detail to enable you reach them as well. You have to comply with our directive to avoid regret at the end.

Regards,

Mr. Eric Cool.
Eric Cool

Attn: Lewis Noogie,

Waiting for the required information. Be informed that this will be our last e-mail to you and if you fail to simply comply do not blame us as we will act beyond expectation.

Yours truly,
Eric Cool.

Eric Cool

I was too busy to get back to Mr. Cool for a couple of days. Mr. Cool, in a display of impatience, copies me on the following:

To the Police Department Gadyukina, Russia.

As earlier informed two of our officers will be arriving with the documentation to enable you carry out the arrest.

We will keep you posted as soon as they leave.

Eric Cool.

Lewd Noogie

For fulks sake, guys, gimme a break, will ya? Our internet has been down here for almost 4 days and I haven't been able to respond. Call off the dogs.

Look, I've asked you not to get the Gadyukina police involved in this. They're still kind of, uh, watching me over an earlier incident involving the local East German massage therapist and I was told if I didn't behave myself, the next time I walk past their building it might well fall on me. These cops are as exciteable as children but much better armed. So let's just keep things between ourselves, ok?

Below is the information you requested from me:

Name - Lewis D. Noogie
Address - c/o Zayebis Hotel & Resort, 5 Huisos Blvd, Gadyukina, Irkutskaya
Oblast, 744600, Russian Federation
Profession - International Hotel Consultant
Reason For Receiving Fund - Helping out the orphaned daughter of an assassinated cocoa merchant.
Telephone - 7(495) 964-8597

This should be everything you need so, again, no Gadyukina Police involvement, please.

Lewis D. Noogie
Eric Cool

Subject: WE SHALL STOP THE POLICE DEPARTMENT

Attn: Lewis D. Noogie.

Honestly we have made up our mind to follow your case to any level and to be sure we bring you down and dent your image. We shall stop the police from any action since you are ready to comply and effect claim to your recovered fund. You are very lucky to respond back with part of the required information although you did not forward all the required info. You are advise as a matter of urgency to state the exact amount your are expecting, forward your full banking details and also forward a copy of your international passport or ID for identification purpose. This stated information is required to be send to us in your next message. When this is done we will instruct the paying bank to process your payment and release your fund into your account without further delay. Finally, we hope you have stop further contact with the hoodlum who always contact you as barrister Dada? respond back urgently.

Yours truly,
Eric Cool.

Eric Cool

Still awaiting for the required information. Respond back accordingly.

Eric Cool.
Eric Cool

What is going on there that you have failed to comply as instructed. Be inform that we have taking allot from you and for this reason we are not ready to entertain any further delay from you again otherwise we will act as plan without mercy. Supply the required information now but failures to comply consider unexpected action.

Eric.
Officer Kenneth Olu

(using Fake Barrister Dada's email account)

We guess you have concluded with the UK Interpol and your fund has being released to you. Keep us posted urgently.

Olu Kenneth.
(Nigeria Police Officer )

Eric Cool

Subject: BE WARN

We shall contact your police department for your arrest if you fail to comply as instructed. Be warn to comply to avoid regret.

Eric Cool.
Lewd Noogie

Mr. Cool,

Look, I've tried to explain to you that we are experiencing problems with our internet access here. I'm trying to do the best I can to comply with your demands.

The banking details which you requested are below:

OAO Bank Moskva, Moscow
S/A 409170005899714
BIC: 047501711
C/a 301027104000000001811

Please send me the bank contact details where the fund has been deposited.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie

Eric Cool

Attn: Sir.

We confirm receipt of your bank detail. We still insist that you should forward your ID as requested. Bear in mind that all this delay will not help you instead you will regret it at the end. After receipt of your ID we will then link you over to the bank where your fund is deposited to enable you effect claim to your fund. Go ahead now and forward your ID.

Eric Cool.
Lewd Noogie

Mr. Cool,

Unfortunately, as Russian federal law prohibits sending copies of passports or other forms of id via email, I regret I am unable to comply with your request. If you doubt this, I'm sure the Gadyukina police (with whom you've been getting pretty chummy with lately) will confirm.
Now will you please be so kind as to send me the bank's contact information.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie

Eric Cool

Attn: Sir,

Your law has nothing to do with the issue of sending any form of your ID, moreover we contacted your Gadyukina police department to confirm the subject matter and they said that if case be there is nothing wrong in doing so by supplying the required info. They also stated that your case file which has to do with named person (Olga ) is in their system. You should bear in mind that we are governmental security agency and we have the immunity power to arrest whomsoever that violated law both here and outside the country. As long as we are consign you discovered fund should not remain here otherwise you will be hand over to your police to face money laundering charges before your authority. Without further delay you are advise you once more to simply go ahead and forward your ID and details of amount expected as instructed but if after this message you fail to comply with further excuses we will leave with no option than to act accordingly. After receipt of the info we will forward to you the contact details of the bank where you fund is being deposited to enable you effect claim to your fund.

Yours truly,
Eric Cool.

Now this is interesting. I made no mention of Olga's name. Have I faced off with this lad before without properly disposing of him??

Lewd Noogie

Officer Olu,

I am writing you for your advice and assistance. You strike me as a reasonable person and I feel I can put my trust in you.

Unfortunately, my fund has not yet been transferred to me as of this writing. Mr. Cool, the Gestapo agent there in London has been very difficult to deal with and keeps threatening to bring in the local law enforcement to arrest me. I will confess that I have a real and true fear of the Gadyukina police; they are all ex-KGB agents who pine for the good old days of covert assassinations and torturing of suspects. There's nothing they would like more than to have an excuse to ensconce me in the basement of the Lubyanka for a couple of months to 'discuss' this fund transfer. I can't let that happen, hence my cooperation with Mr. Cool.

Hoping that my trust in you is not missplaced, I will also confess that I am still convinced that the man you have in your custody is not Barrister Dada. I am still in correspondence with the barrister and he is telling me to ignore the threats of Mr. Cool. He has obtained the D.I.S.T. with the $3,600 fee that I sent him two days ago and he informs me that the only remaining hurdle before receiving the fund is to secure the Class III Expediting certificate to speed up the transfer.

Officer Olu, I trust Barrister Dada, even though we have never met in person. He says he is close friends with the governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria and most of it's officers and I believe him.

My request to you is this: I don't trust this guy Cool at all and I don't believe him when he says my fund is in London. Barrister Dada assures me that the money is still there in Lagos. Is there any way you and your department can run an investigation on Cool? I'm sure that if you do some checking on his background you'd come up with something fishy.

Please give me your thoughts on this.

By the way, my friends call me Lewd (short for Lewis D.).
Lewd

Dr. Joe Morgan

This shows up from an IP that is very similar to Eric Cool's. I assumed it was the 'bank' in London where my money had been deposited...

From: Dr Joe Morgan <contract.payment01@att.net>
Subject: LONG OVERDUE PAYMENT FROM INTERNATIONAL MONETARY FUND
Date: Sat, 18 Dec 2010

Attn:Lewis D. Noogie,

Your Long overdue Payment.

I saw your email ( in the Central Computer among the list of unpaid contractors, inheritance next of kin and lotto beneficiaries that was originated from Africa, Europe, Asia Plus Middle east, Americans ) among the list of individuals and companies that your unpaid fund has been located to the BANK OF LONDON, UNITED KINGDOM.

Your email appeared among the beneficiaries, who will receive a part-payment of your contractual sum and has been approved already for months. You are requested to get back to me for more direction and instruction on how to receive your fund. However, we received an email from one Dr. Ben Williams who told us that he is your next of kin and that you died in a car accident last week. He has also submitted his account for us to transfer the fund to him including his International passport, we want to hear from you before we can make the transfer to confirm if you are dead or not? Please if you are still alive,kindly furnish us with below informations:

1. Your Full Name........
2. Address...............
3.Country.................
4.Age....................
5.Occupation................
6.Telephone Number...........
7.Next Of Kin..................

To Email:uncompensation.contract@gmail.com

Once again, I apologize to you on behalf Of IMF (International Monetary Fund) for failure to pay your funds in time, which according to records in the system had been long overdue.

I await to hear from you soonest.

Regards,
Dr.Joe Morgan
Office of the IMF London,
United Kingdom.

Lewd Noogie

Dr. Morgan,

I'm afraid there has been a mistake. While I am expecting the imminent arrival of a large amount of money, I'm afraid there is no connection between this fund and the International Monetary Fund. The project that I am involved in concerns only the Central Bank of Nigeria. While there was some question as to the location of the fund, this has since been resolved between myself and the Nigerian Police Department.

I have no knowledge of this Dr. Ben Williams who claims I am dead and, while a certain East German massage therapist might assert that a certain part of my anatomy is lifeless, I can assure you that I am, for the most part, very much alive. I have no advice to give you other than I suspect you may be trying to contact a different Lewis Noogie.

I thank you for your query.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie

Officer Kenneth Olu

(using Fake Barrister Dada's email account)

Paragraphs have been inserted to aid reading; this was originally one long paragraph.

Dear Sir.

I have gone through your e-mail with his content well noted. I refer you back to the first and last e-mail received from Barrister Dada through this mail box when he confess to you regard to the present arrest by our officers although we have handed him over to the EFCC , later I myself contacted you with regard to this same matter and strictly warned you to stop any further dealings with whosoever to avoid regrettable end because our duty is to protect life and properties .

Before the arrest was carryout we receive signer from the Interpol department in UK head by Eric Cool to look for barrister dada and get him arrested because of the diversion of the fund which they discover at the UK airport.

To cut everything short, the person who you made mention you sent money to is not barrister dada and we warn you earlier , you will continue making payment one after the other until they finish you because you are dealing with hoodlum . Do not be deceived by any one here because your fund is no longer in Nigeria but lying down in the UK bank as informed earlier.

Asking us to run an investigate on Eric Cool you are making a very big mistake, Eric cool is the overall officer in UK at the same time he has every power to do anything to ensure justice revel. You have to trust him and believe him, ensure to cooperate with him if you don't want problem as you stated.

Again do not listen to the person who you state you sent money to otherwise you may regret it at the end, infact stop further contact with him because he only hack into barrister dada mail box and use the opportunity to communicate with you.

Finally, you have to be fast to claim your fund in UK otherwise they may return the fund back as a result of your inability to claim and this may interest your government to look into the matter and charge you for money laundering. I hereby attach a copy of my picture as to no who is in contact with you.

Before I forget, barrister Dada assets will be sold out by next week under by the EFCC, if you truly sent him 17 thousand as earlier stated send prove of payment to enable you recover your fund back.

Contact Eric Cool now and comply with him to avoid problem. This is my advise to you. In my next mail i will give you my direct e-mail and phone number.

Olu Kenneth.
(Nigeria Police Officer )

Eric Cool

... steps up the pressure

Attn: Beneficiary.

Dear Lewis Noogie.

With all due respect we are written you for the last time and if we don't receive a positive respond from you with regard to the required information, we leave with no option than to start sitting your files to the head of your police department and criminal Department, we are very sure you fully know what that means you will be arrested and charge for money laundering. I am sure you will go to jail if I don't receive your mail in my desk before 48hours. If you like continue listen to people around you who try to deceive you. All the same the choice is yours. View my ID as the head of department here in UK. Never you respond back without your full ID and amount expected, failure to comply consider the next action. This is our last e-mail to you.

Eric Cool.

Cc: UK court of law.
Cc: Ministry of Finance.
Cc: Nigeria EFCC.
Cc.: Central Bank of Nigeria.
Cc: Police Department Gadyukina, Russia

Lewd Noogie

Mr. Cool,

I consulted with the hotel's attorney and he tells me I am correct, vis, it is against Russian Federal law to send one's identification as an email attachment. He said that if you insist on trying to stir up the Gadyukina police he will accompany me to their station to straighten this mess up. He said he doesn't know where you're getting your information but he says your source is full of horse puckey (his words, not mine).

Look, as an agent of law enforcement, I realize that you are only trying to do your job, but put yourself in my place. I received an email from a young 29 year old orphan in Lagos, the daughter of an assassinated cocoa merchant, and she wanted me to help her move her inheritance of $42 million to a safe place outside her country. What was I to do? The poor girl was desparate, not to mention exceedingly hot. She introduced me to Barrister Dada and I have been working with him ever since. I have also been helping Melissa with living expenses and I confess that I am strongly considering adoption. There is no money laundering involved here, I'm just trying to help an orphan.

I wrote to Melissa, the orphan, and asked her to check on the whereabouts of Barrister Amin. She responded that she visited him in his office and that he is in fine health. Now who am I to believe, some Nigerian flatfoot cop or the woman I've become deeply involved with?

I hope you understand my situation. If you still insist on involvement by the Gadyukina police, the hotel's attorney and I will proceed to their station to explain my side.

I await your positive response.
Lewis D. Noogie

Dr. Joe Morgan

Attention:Lewis D. Noogie,

Thank you for your response, I just want you to know that your payment originated from Nigeria, As a result of the Central Bank of Nigeria not being able to pay you. The International monetary fund have resolved to pay each an every Foreign contractor the sum of 5,500US$.

I will advice you to try all you best to comply with my directives so that we can go ahead to process your payment and you will get your money within three working days in your personal bank account.You are to provide the information below so that we can start with the processing of your fund.

1. Your Full Name........
2. Address...............
3.Country.................
4.Age....................
5.Occupation................
6.Telephone Number...........
7.Next Of Kin..................

To Email:uncompensation.contract@gmail.com

Once again, I apologize to you on behalf Of IMF (International Monetary Fund) for failure to pay your funds in time, which according to records in the system had been long overdue.

I await to hear from you soonest.

Regards,
Dr.Joe Morgan
Office of the IMF London,
United Kingdom.

Lewd Noogie

Dr. Morgan,

Please excuse my scepticism but I'm walking through a minefield here and I have to be very careful. Has your correspondence to me been cleared by Mr. Cool of the London Airport police? This particular gentleman is causing no end of problems with my local police department and is asking me to do things that violate Russian Federal law. There's also a cop in Nigeria who says he's arrested the barrister I'm working with there but the orphan I am trying to help move this money tells me the barrister is not in jail. You see what I mean about walking a minefield.

Do you have any documentation that backs up your assertion that the money is no longer in Lagos? If so, I would be very interested in seeing it to help me plan my next course of action. Above all I woulld suggest that you be sure you have Mr. Cools ok to be corresponding with me lest we both wind up in Wormwood Scrubs on charges of money laundering. Trust me, Mr.Cool is nobody to mess with.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie

Eric Cool

Attn: Lewis Noogie.

We got your e-mail with your explanation. You should bear in mind that the very first time we contacted you, we only alert you about your fund which we discover at the airport and also we advise you to respond back to the subject matter. Before contact was made to you directly we interrogate the diplomat who's carrying your fund in a consignment and he confess to us that this assignment was assigned to him by barrister Dada with full personal detail, also inside the consignment your full detail include your e-mail address was attachment and this motivate us to contact you to alert you about the recover of your fund and also we contacted the Nigeria police and pass barrister Dada details to enable them trick him down which they did and at present according to the information reaching us everyday , barrister Dada is still under the custody of the EFCC and soon he will be jail. Our consign is that we don't know who is feeding you with information that Barrister Dada is not under the custody of the law enforcement in Nigeria and for this reason you fail to comply ever since we have being advising you on what to do. You should bear in mind that we are here to protect life and properties and you should be happy about the recovery of your fund. Come to think about this, can you or your hotel lawyer explain to your government about the source of this fund? We only want to deal with your issue fairly otherwise we would have acted beyond expectation and at the end you will definitely regret it.

However, your full details have being forwarded to the bank where your fund is and instruction has being given to them to process your payment accordingly and release your fund without any further delay. We hereby release the contact information of the paying bank to enable you effect claim to your fund immediately. We expect you to follow up with the processing procedure to enable them achieve the goal for you.

Bank Details.
Standard Credit & Finance Inc.
United-Kingdom.
E-mail: standardcf@gmail.com
Tell: +44-702-401-8745 or +44-702-406-0669
Contact Person: Mrs. Eric Brown. (Director of Payment).

Use above details to contact the paying bank if they have not contacted you accordingly. Immediately you reach them ensure to keep us posted to follow up with your transaction. Your maximum cooperation to the bank is all we needed from you to enable you receive your fund without any delay. Contact the bank now and reach us back.

Yours truly,
Eric Cool.

Lewd Noogie

Mr. Cool,

I was contacted by Dr. Morgan from the bank several days ago and I have responded.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie

Mrs. Eric Brown

From: "STANDARD CREDIT & FINANCE INC" <standardcf@gmail.com>
Subject: RE: KEY-TESTED TELEGRAPHIC INFORMATION
Date: Mon, 20 Dec 2010

From: The office of the Director.
Remittance/Telex Department
Standard Credit & Finance Inc.
United-Kingdom.
Tell: +44-702-401-8745 / +44-702-406-0669

Attn: Lewis Noogie.

RE: KEY-TESTED TELEGRAPHIC INFORMATION

We refer to the above subject and hereby confirm that we have received a sum of Forty-Two Million US Dollars only (US$42m) from the INTERPOL department here in London for further credit into your nominated account. The Interpol has forwarded to us all necessary details of your account and data and our department is verifying the information therein, after which remittance will be effected without further delays. However, you are requested to make a payment of One Thousand, Three Hundred and Fifty Pounds (£1,350) to our department before remittance can be effected. This amount represents a mandatory processing fee for all legal documentation and clearances that will enable in the transfer of funds of such magnitude without hitches. Payment of the processing fee should be made by western union money transfer or money gram through the name of our finance officer given below.

Receiving Officer's name: .............. Brian Lewis
Destination of payment: ................. UK
Amount:.................................... £1,350

Endeavour to send to us the western union or money gram payment information as soon as you are done as this will enable us speedy up the process of transfer before vacating for the Christmas holiday. Be rest assured that your fund ($42M) will be transferred and confirmed in your bank account as soon as the payment of the processing fee is made. This is our guarantee.

Yours Faithfully,
Mrs. Eric Brown.
(Director of Payment).

Dr. Joe Morgan

... makes it clear that his is an entirely different scam.

Attention:Lewis D. Noogie,

Thank you for your response, I want you to know that the Nigerian Government forwarded your payment to the International Monetary fund United Kingdom and they will be handling the transfer of your fund into your personal bank account and i will advice you to stop communicating with any office if you do not want your payment to be canceled.

I want you to know that you do not have anything to do with the police or Mr.Cool.

I will advice you to reconfirm your full details so that we can proceed with the transfer of your fund.

I will be waiting for your urgent response.

Best Regards,
Dr Joe Morgan.

He attaches a 'Contract Payment Guarrantten' for $5.5 million. This may come in handy later...

Officer Kenneth Olu

(using Fake Barrister Dada's email account)

Dear Sir.

Compliment of the day. Since after my last respond to you am yet to hear from you. Have you complied with the instruction given to you by Eric Cool as I have advise you? keep me posted.

Olu Kenneth.
(Nigeria Police Officer )

Eric Cool

Attn: Lewis Noogie.

We instructed you in our last e-mail of yesterday to contact the paying bank with their full contact information but we are very surprise you made mention of Dr. Morgan who has contacted you few days back. The person you mentioned his name is not working with the bank we refer you to and also whatever you have with him is at your own risk. The payment bank copied the e-mail they sent to you yesterday to us so that we will be updated, don't you receive an e-mail from (Standard Credit and Finance Inc) Mrs Eric Brown Director of Payment. We are forwarding same e-mail to you in a separate e-mail in order to enable you reaches them back immediately and comply with their directives so that they can conclude with the transfer process and remit your fund to your account. you have to follow up and always keep us posted.

Yours truly,
Eric Cool.

Eric Cool

BELOW IS THE E-MAIL COPIED TO US BY THE PAYMENT BANK, WE GUESS YOU RECEIVE SAME IN YOUR MAIL BOX. BUT IF YOU DID NOT THEN BE ADVISE TO REACH THEM IMMEDIATELY WITH THE GIVEN INFO AND ALSO BE ADVISE TO COMPLY AS THEY DIRECTED YOU.

ERIC COOL
Eric Cool

Attn: Lewis Noogie.

It has come to our notice that you neither yet to respond back nor to simply comply with the instruction given to you by the payment bank. Don't start again with your excuses just to see a way out to abandon your fund here in the UK, if you try that we will ask the paying bank to cancel your transfer process in order to report you to your government as earlier plan so that you will face money laundering charges before your government. Bear in mind that we are not here for chide play. Be warned for the last time to adhered to the instruction given to you by the paying bank but if after this message you fail to comply with them which means you have given us go ahead to act further than expected and let it be known to you that even your so call hotel attorney will not save you from the money laundering case. We advise you to comply with the paying bank and keep us posted immediately.

Yours truly,
Eric Cool.

Lewd Noogie

Mr. Cool,

I fully realize that this is not chide play but I'm starting to think that you are a big part of the problem here. You tell me to do what the bank tells me to do. Ok, I'm doing it. Then you tell me to do what some other bank tells me to do. Look, you gotta quit changing your mind all the time.

Shortly after I told you that sending my id by email is a violation of Russian law, I received an email from the Bank of London saying that they have my money. They sent me the certificate showing that a partial transfer of $5.5 million had been made and that the balance was soon to follow. I have attached the certificate. They requested $750 foor paperwork and account opening, which I duly paid. WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT ME TO DO FER CHRISSAKE??

Lewd
Eric Cool

Subject: DONT YOU RECEIVE BELOW E-MAIL FROM THE DIRECTED BANK? BE WARN FOR YOUR LAST TIME.

From: The office of the Director.
Remittance/Telex Department
Standard Credit & Finance Inc.
United-Kingdom.
Tell: +44-702-401-8745 / +44-702-406-0669

Attn: Lewis Noogie.

RE: KEY-TESTED TELEGRAPHIC INFORMATION

We refer to the above subject and hereby confirm that we have received a sum of Forty-Two Million US Dollars only (US$42m) from the INTERPOL department here in London for further credit into your nominated account. The Interpol has forwarded to us all necessary details of your account and data and our department is verifying the information therein, after which remittance will be effected without further delays. However, you are requested to make a payment of One Thousand, Three Hundred and Fifty Pounds (£1,350) to our department before remittance can be effected. This amount represents a mandatory processing fee for all legal documentation and clearances that will enable in the transfer of funds of such magnitude without hitches. Payment of the processing fee should be made by western union money transfer or money gram through the name of our finance officer given below.

Receiving Officer's name: .............. Brian Lewis
Destination of payment: ................. UK
Amount:.................................... £1,350

Endeavour to send to us the western union or money gram payment information as soon as you are done as this will enable us speedy up the process of transfer before vacating for the Christmas holiday. Be rest assured that your fund ($42M) will be transferred and confirmed in your bank account as soon as the payment of the processing fee is made. This is our guarantee.

Yours Faithfully,
Mrs. Eric Brown.
(Director of Payment).

Eric Cool

... starting to lose his, er ...

Attn: Sir,

You must be out of your mind if truly you are in contact to a bank we have never instructed you to contact, kindly be advise to refer to all our e-mail to see the name of bank you where directed to contact. Does it mean you did not see the name of the bank and contact person we instructed you to contact? Do not play with this office otherwise we have nothing to talk again in this matter but to act accordingly, even at that your police department is waiting for us to give them instruction for an arrest but we try to calm them down as we wanted to treat your issue fairly, but failure to adhered with the instruction given to you by the paying bank first thing tomorrow morning being the 23/10/2010 we shall contact your police department to give them go ahead with your arrest let see who regret, also tell your hotel lawyer to be ready for action of setting you free from money laundering charges. Who is talking about 5.5M nor talking about the forwarded certificate. We have forwarded to you a message copied to us by the consigned bank and to our own understanding you have failed to comply by pretending as if you do not receive their message nor the one we forwarded to you. Herein below is the contact detail of the paying bank where we deposited your US$ 42M.

Bank Details.
Standard Credit & Finance Inc.
United-Kingdom.
E-mail: standardcf@gmail.com
Tell: +44-702-401-8745 or +44-702-406-0669
Contact Person: Mrs. Eric Brown. (Director of Payment).

We have re-forwarded their e-mail to you once again, be advice to comply with their directives immediately. Be advice that our patient in this matter is getting out of hand due to we have not acted accordingly. Use above detail to contact the bank now and supply them with the sum of 1,350 Pounds to enable them conclude with the transfer procedure in order to enable you receive your fund to your account.
Eric Cool.

Lewd Noogie

Of course I received it, but I had received the one from Dr. Morgan at Bank of London earlier and was doing WHAT YOU TOLD ME TO DO - I WAS COOPERATING WITH THEM.

WEEPING JESUS ON THE CROSS, WILL YOU MAKE UP YOUR FREAKIN MIND!! YOU'RE DRIVING ME NUTS.

Eric Cool

Question remains to you do we instructed you to contact any other bank than the Standard Credit and Finance Inc, contact person Mrs. Eric Brown. You have to follow our instruction as given to you stead of following your own instruction. Well we are not begging you anymore to comply since you are trying to prove stubborn to this office but we see who regret at the end. We have communicated with the police department in your country and failure to comply now with the paying bank we shall give them go ahead to carry out the arrest, inform your hotel lawyer to be ready for action.

Thank you.
Eric Cool.

Eric Cool

Eric sends this to Gadyukina PD and cc's me...

From: police-29 <police-29@o2.pl>
Subject: Notice
To: Police Department <police-p@mail.ru>
Date: Wednesday, December 22, 2010, 11:45 AM

Dear Sir,

This is to inform your department that Mr Lewis Noogie has refuses to follow up with the instruction given to him. For this reason he has planed to abandon the recovered fund US$42M in the UK , according to him he is in contact to a bank we did not directed him to contact but said we instructed him to deal with them. We have given him our last word tonight to contact the directed bank and comply with their instruction , we shall be alerting your department first thing tomorrow morning to carryout the arrest if he fail to comply. We shall send two or three of our officers to come across to your country with his case file. We shall keep in touch.

Best regards,
Eric Cool ( Inter Department UK )

Lewd Noogie

(to Eric Cool)

WHO IS THIS TO??
Eric Cool

You are asking question, the message was sent to your police department just now and we decided to copy you as well.

Eric Cool.
Lewd Noogie

THAT TEARS IT! YOU BETTER BACK OFF, BARNEY, I'VE GOT A PIECE.!

I'LL TURN THIS HOTEL INTO A FORTRESS! YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE, COPPER!
Eric Cool

Sir,

Tracking you down is as easy as any other thing, you can run but cannot hide as long as our network is on. It's better for you to contact the Standard Credit and Finance Inc and comply with the instruction given to you otherwise failure to do so consider yourself to be arrested tomorrow. Nothing to talk again about this issue. The police department has responded back to us just now, they are ready to carryout their duty. We have forwarded your last e-mail to them to be aware, we see who regret at the end.

Eric Cool.
Lewd Noogie

Mr. Cool,

Sorry for the outburst, it was the vodka talking.

I'll contact the Standard Credit & Finance Company but first I want to know who this guy Joe Morgan is that I paid $750 to and why he would write and tell me that my money is in the Bank of London. Look, between barristers and banks and the money I sent to the poor orphan girl I've spent over $25,000 and it's going nowhere. You have to understand why I'm somewhat frustrated.

Now please explan to me who this guy Joe Morgan is.

L. Noogie

Standard Credit & Finance again sends me their original letter asking for BP 1,350....

Lewd Noogie

Mrs. Brown,

I am in receipt of your email and the contents well understood. I am unable to comply at this time as I am wating for addiitional information from Mr. Cool of the Airport Police regarding another Bank.

I will contact you again as soon as I receive clarification from Mr. Cool.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie

Eric Cool

Attn: L. Noogie.

Your apology accepted. Regard to your question consigning who Joe Morgan is, truly we have never come across him nor see him face to face but we guess he maybe working hand to hand with that person who claim to be Barrister Dada you are presently in contact with. You don't have to be frustrated in any manner because we have recovered your US$42M and presently lying down in the Standard Credit & Finance Inc, UK. Although you are being frustrated just because you are still listen to hoodlum who claim to be who they are not. You have to be careful to avoid the group not to extract your entire fund for nothing sake. You have to stop further communication with them, even if they reach you ignore their e-mail otherwise if you respond back to them they will try their best to convince you beyond reasonable doubt .

However, have you contacted the Standard Credit & Finance Inc as instructed? if you have not done that we rather advise you to contact them back immediately and send the little required fee 1,350.00 Pounds to them as they have instructed you so that they can conclude with your transfer procedure and remit your fund into your account without any delay. We urgently waiting for your update.

Finally, you are advice to stop further communication with those groups to avoid regrettable end.

Yours truly,
Eric Cool.

Mrs. Eric Brown

Attn: Lewis Noogie.

We are delighted to hear from you. We shall be waiting for your further compliance to our instruction to enable us concludes with transfer procedure to enable us finally have your entire funds remitted into your account without any further delay.

Yours Faithfully,
Mrs. Eric Brown.
(Director of Payment).

Eric Cool

Attn: Sir,

Below e-mail was copied to us by the paying bank for an update regard to your e-mail sent to them. As stated in our last e-mail Mr. Morgan is nothing but an imposter and you have to be careful with him otherwise he will extract all your funds from you. Can you be kind to forward his bank name and e-mail address, bank address, bank phone number to enable us visit them and check them out. Keep this to your self and do not alert him to avoid running away. You are advise to follow up with the instruction given to you by the Standard Credit & Finance Inc in order to enable them remit your US$42M to your account. Bear in mind that after the transfer is being done into your account the paying bank will forward to you payment slip copy which you have to forward to your bank to enable you confirm the arrival of your fund into your account. Immediately you comply as instructed by the bank do keep us posted.

Eric Cool.

Lewd Noogie (to Standard Credit & Finance Co.)

Mrs. Brown,

The Western Union office in Irkutsk will only send money in US$; can you tell me please, at current exchange rates, how much BP 1,350 would be in US$.

Thank you,
Lewis D. Noogie

Mrs. Eric Brown

Attn: Lewis Noogie.

As of today exchange rates for 1,350.00 Pounds is US$ 2,084.72 Dollars , but when you get to your western union office let them know that the exact amount you are suppose to transfer to UK is 1,350.00 Pounds , they will convert the stated amount with the current exchange rate either in your own currency or in US Dollars. Herein below is the receiver's name.

Receiving Officer's name: .............. Brian Lewis
Destination of payment: ................. UK
Amount:.................................... £1,350

As soon as you are done with the sending of the fund , be kind to forward payment details if possible scan the western union transfer slip and attach to us for collection of the fund.

Yours Faithfully,
Mrs. Eric Brown.
(Director of Payment).

Lewd Noogie

Mrs. Brown,

My Admin Assistant, Maya Bushburn, is due back from her vacation in Magnitogorsk tomorrow. I will send her to the Irkutsk Western Union office tomorrow with the payment. You should expect it late tomorrow or early Monday morning.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie

Eric Cool

Attn: Lewis Noogie.

On behalf of the Interpol Department we are wishing you and your family a happy Christmas and New Year in advance.

We want to confirm the present status with you and the Standard Credit & Finance Inc, although we wanted to confirm from the Standard Credit & Finance Inc, about the present status but they are in holiday for this Christmas and will resume work on Monday morning. You are advice to update us with the present status regards to your transfer of US$42M and the required fee 1,350.00 Pounds. Keep us posted with the present development in order to follow up.

Yours truly,
Eric Cool.

Eric Cool

Attn: Sir.

Why silence to our last e-mail to you? We advise you to keep us posted immediately.

Eric Cool.
Lewd Noogie
Mr.

Cool,

My Admin Assistant, Ms. Bushburn, is delayed getting back from her vacation and is expected to arrive later tonight. I will send her to the Irkutsk Western Union office tomorrow morning to wire the required fee.

Lewis D. Noogie
Eric Cool

Attn: Lewis Noogie.

We have noted your update with understanding. Whatever you are doing to ensure you comply with the required fee should be fast to enable the paying bank conclude with your transfer process for effective remittance to your account without further delay. Our advice to you is that if your admin assistant did not return back on your expected date then see how you will go and send the fee yourself immediately and forward payment details to the Standard Credit & Finance Inc to enable them collect the fund and complete the transfer process.

We wait for your update.

Yours truly,
Eric Cool.

Lewd Noogie

Mr. Cool,

Just a note to let you know that Ms. Bushburn has returned and I will send her on her way to the Irkutsk Western Union office this morning.

Lewis D. Noogie
Eric Cool

Attn: Lewis Noogie.

We have noted your update.

Eric Cool
Mrs. Eric Brown

Attn: Lewis Noogie.

This is to inform you that we are back from Christmas holiday, at our resumption of work this morning we expected to receive payment details from you but to our surprise we did not receive that from you. Why the delay to send the required fee as instructed? Please be advice to hurry up with the payment to enable us complete transfer process and then have your entire fund remitted into your account. We therefore advise you to simply go ahead and send the sum of 1,350.00 Pounds with the given officer name via western union or money gram. As soon as payment is made ensure to forward payment detail for collection. When this is done we will see to the conclusion of your transaction without any further delay. Awaiting for your response.

Yours Faithfully,
Mrs. Eric Brown.
(Director of Payment).

Lewd Noogie

I want to leave them thinking that,
a. A lot of money exchanged hands,
b. They got none of it, and
c. I'm leaving this with them not knowing I've been dicking with them.

Mr. Cool,

As you know, my Administrative Assistant, Maya Bushburn, just returned from her vacation in Magnitogorsk and I asked her to drive to Irkutsk to wire the money to Standard Credit & Finance. As Ms. Bushburn handles all the financial matters for my consulting business, she wanted to know what the wire transfer was for. I explained this transaction to her from the first email I received from the 29-year old orphan.

After she stopped her hysterical laughing, she said that this entire thing, from the poor orphan to the banks, and even you, is something she called a '419 scam'. She said you probably harvested my contact information from the 'Dating Desperate Lonely Housewives' website where I recently left my email address. Then she called me a Mugu. As a matter of fact, she said I'm the Mugu King for giving you guys so much money. I don't even know what a Mugu is but she's right - Lewd Noogie is a Mugu, thanks to you guys.

She also said I have nothing to fear from the local cops. Well, that's it. I'm folding my cards and walking away from the table. You guys got me for $25,000 but no more money from Mugu Lewd Noogie. Go find another Mugu to fleece.

You know the thing that hurts the most? That poor 29-year old orphan was sooooo hot! You should see the pictures she sent me. Oh, wait, I forgot, you probably did see the pictures she sent me because now I'm sure you were all in on this together from the beginning.

Well, you can tell Melissa the orphan and Mrs. Brown and Barrister Dada and Joe Morgan and Kenneth Olu and all the rest of your merry gang of thugs that I said so long and fulk them. And fulk you too.

Remain blessed,
Lewd Noogie

Damn, she was hot.
Eric Cool

Be rest assured that you will be investigated by your government.

Eric Cool.
Lewd Noogie

Yeah, right.

Fulk off.

Lewd Noogie

It occurred to me that I should thank you very much for responding. If you think for one moment that, after what Ms. Bushburn told me, I'm gonna still believe anything you say, then you, my friend, are an even bigger Mugu.

Welcome to Club Mugu, my Mugu friend.

NOW fulk off.
 

scamorama main street * get booked * subscribe

Copyright © 1999-2016 Scamorama. All rights reserved.