quit monkeying around

Another foray from the vast intelligence that produced not quite comprehendible, which marked the debut of Chester Nutley, business tycoon on the run. He returns as Ralph Ramburger, Kentuckian emigrant in search of a job.

So, here we go again. This scam takes place with a man calling himself "Roth Gary d". As you can see in the letters, even the scammer himself seems very confused about his own name, he doesn't ever seem sure if his first name is Roth or Gary... I assume it was meant as Roth, Gary d., as one would formally write a name.

But this is the least of the confusion-
Read on to see the tale of Kentucky native Ralph Ramburger, who is moving to Redmond Washington for a promising new job at MegaAmerica Enterprises, with little more than his disgruntled, clown-phobic pet chimp, a zippy little moped, and a longing desire to live in a nice, roomy house. It seemed like Gary Roth had just what Ralph was looking for...how could anything go wrong?

Gary Roth- purveyor of rental scams
Ralph Ramburger- in need of housing

Roth Gary d

Begins with a standard rental scam format. Address anonymized, because the Lad probably copied someone's legitimate listing.

Yes, scammers offer to rent you someone else's property, then they collect the 'deposit' and disappear. They may even copy photos from the listing.

From: Roth Gary d <rothgaryd@yahoo.com>
Date: Wed, May 18, 2011 6:04 AM
Subject: Re: $750 / 3br - xxxxx NE 70th Street (Redmond)

Thanks for your email and interest in renting my house. I am ROTH GARY D the owner of the house you are making inquiry of. Presently, I am in Nigeria. I came over here with my wife, we both acquired the property immediately after getting married. On getting here, I had a thought of selling the house of which i did a research for an agent to handle it on our behalf and after getting one, we got a deal but later my wife advised against that. Presently, it is no longer for sale, under minding the for sale sign up there in the building which I put there before leaving but available for rent at $750 per month (which includes utilities) and a security deposit of $700. More so now, our purpose of leaving the States down to Nigeria is for an International Christian Conference (I.C.C) meeting, that has to do with establishing of more churches around the West African continent, aimed at propagating the word of God amongst them as to reduce the high rate of criminal activities practiced as the end time is near. [yeah real soon now] We are currently working with the Church of God Mission international, led by Arch-Bishop (Mrs.) Margaret Benson Idahosa.

Please, I want you to understand that I spent a lot on my property that you have requested to rent, so I will solicit for your absolute maintenance of this house and would want you to treat it as your own because cleanliness they say is next to Godliness. It is not all about the money to be paid on rent or spent; it is all about a good maintenance culture which I want you to adopt on the property. I want you to keep it tidy all the time so that I would be full of smiles whenever I come and above all, a good, strong and tight relationship between us when I come for a checkup. Please one more thing, I wouldn't like to have any benefit of trust in you because I want to stand in your words that the property would be well taken care of all the time.

I believe you have see how lovely it is if from only the pictures you saw in my posting compare to the 100% comfort to be derived from it as an occupant. Please note that you will only be able to drive by the house for now but can't have a look at the interior until I have sent the keys and documents of the house to you. It has a dramatic entry foyer with ceramic floor. Extremely spacious rooms throughout with lots of big windows...nice and light! New neutral paint and some newer carpet. Very quiet, low traffic area. New fridge (7/07)...I believe it's absolutely a perfect home for you and your family. Utilities include Water, Trash, Sewer, Gas etc. Please note that, a deposit payment would be required if accepted to have the property rented.

The address to my house. xxxxx NE 70th Street Redmond, WA 98052.



Please if you are ready now to occupy the house kindly provide the information below for record purpose
Full Name__________________________________________________ Home Phone ( & nbsp; )________________________
Date of Birth_________________________________
Other Phone ( )___________________
Current Address_______________________________Apt#________ City__________________ State______ Zip________
Reasons for Leaving____________________________Rent $__________Phone ( )____________________________
Are you married____________________________
How many people will be living in the house____________________________
Do you have a pet_____________________ _______
Do you have a car____________________________
How soon can you have the deposit and first month rent sent to me_________________________
How soon do you want to receive the keys________________________________________
Move In Date____________________________
Your Family Pictures____________________________

Looking forward to hearing from you with all this details so that I can present it to my family, pray over it (because I consult the Almighty God before making any decision and if accepted, and have them stored in my file for the purpose of issuing the receipts to you and contacting you. Await your urgent reply so that we can discuss on how to get the document and the keys to you, please we are giving you all this based on trust and again I will want you to stick to your words, you know that we are very far apart now and only putting everything into God's hands and hope that you will not let us down.

The house will be available for rent for a period of five and a half years so you have a choice of deciding how long you intend staying there. Here is my number call or test me ASAP +234-808-398-9796 OR 011-234-808-398-9796, I will be expecting to hear from you.

Feel free to call or test me for more information and arrangements.

God Bless,

Ralph Ramburger

Wed 5/18/11 10:52 AM

Hello Mr. Roth Gary d,

My name is Ralph Ramburger. A friend of mine from Redmond told me that you are renting out a house in Redmond, and I happen to be looking for a place to stay in Redmond. I just moved to Washington State USA from Kentucky State USA for a new job at MegaAmerica Enterprises, LLC.

You said that the house is available for 5 and 1/2 years, which is a good amount of time for me to stay; I think this will be a very good arrangement for both of us! Also, I would be very happy doing business with an upstanding, trustworthy man such as yourself, who is selflessly going out on mission trips to establish churches- knowing that I am renting a house from such an honest, good man will help me to sleep like a content baby on a fluffy cloud every night! I do not have a phone service yet because I just moved here and haven't been able to register a C-307 form to get a DigiLoc type phone line yet, so I will just have to use email to talk until I get into the house (if it is still available!)

I would like to move in as soon as possible (ASAP), so if the property is still available, I will make arrangements to get you the rent and deposit immediately. Since you are out of the country, I can probably wire you the money (hopefully US currency will be acceptable- I can also send Chinese Yuan or Deutsche Marks if that would be easier)- or, if you would like, I could have an M.A.E courier bring a cashier's check by Lear jet to the location of your choice, as long as it is a US address. But if the money needs to be sent to a foreign address, I can just wire it to you without much trouble.

I hope to hear back from you quickly Mr. Gary, I am eager to get this deal signed and locked down so I can move into this beautiful new house!


Ralph R.


Full Name________Ralph Q. Ramburger
Home Phone ( & nbsp; )___N/A
Date of Birth_____April 1st, 1972
Other Phone ( n/a )__N/A
Current Address___Hotel Bravuro Airport Suite Apt#__690 City___Seattle
State_WA_____ Zip_98133_______
Reasons for Leaving____Business Rent $__Company Comp.________Phone ( )___n/a
Are you married______In a domestic partnership
How many people will be living in the house____one for now (1)
Do you have a pet__yes
Do you have a car___I have a moped
Occupation____Numbers Analyst
How soon can you have the deposit and first month rent sent to me___ASAP
How soon do you want to receive the keys___ASAP
Move In Date____ASAP
Your Family Pictures___Yes, in my mother's photo album

Roth Gary d

The 'sick relative' gambit is sometimes employed as part of the actual scam, see INNKEEPER CASE STUDY. Here it seems to be just decorative detail.

Wed 5/18/11 1:52 PM

Thanks you very much for your reply, i am so sorry for the late response my daughter was admitted in an Hospital so i went to see her. I can see your willingness in this House. I want you to know that I'm satisfied with your profile and also believe l can trust in you because l will not like to experience what l experienced from my last tenant again, l showed your profile to my wife and daughter , they said they are ok with it.

l want you to know that we can let you stay in my House till the period of time you wish to.I want you to know that the rent fee is among the House utilities all included, so you can use them anytime but make sure you take proper care of my properties.We will come and pay you a visit after you have moved into my House to see how you are maintaining it,I will be receiving the security deposit from you via Western Union because l think it reliable,secured and fast, and moreover, my Christian team and I, got into Nigeria just few weeks back and we have been trying to settle down for our purpose. This has made it difficult for me to set up a bank account here for transaction like this. But never mind, I will be setting up one (Joint Account, for my wife and I) before the end of this month.l wish you best of luck in your work, from your profile l can see that you are responsible and a hard working person may the almighty God lead you in what ever you wish to do.

Please once again, i want to trust you and i hope you do not disappoint us and i promise you that, you will love the house and not only, a good relationship between us. The following documents are here with us as i could find anyone whom i could trust to drop them with for this purpose. But never-mind, FedEx next day delivery service will handle that perfectly for us.In doing this, you will need to make a first month and security deposit payment which the deposit is refundable (should in case you don't like the house) to enable the shipment of the Keys and document to your current address that i have here in the rental form, after which you could move in at your convenience.The rent starts counting when you move in and after moving in, you will be required to make the first month rental fees at your convenience Here are the contents of the document that needs to be sent.

1) Entrance and the rooms Keys
2) Paper/Permanent house form
3) The house documentary file.
4) Full Description of the house and Address
5) Payment Receipt
6) Signed Lease Agreement Form you are supposed to also sign and get it sent back to me

As soon as the security deposit is been confirmed by me, l will go ahead and commence on how the House Keys / Documents will be delivered to you and i will ensure that i book for the 24 hours FedEx next day delivery service as to enable you receive it on time and as scheduled. Let me hear back from you as soon as possible so that i can arrange for the delivery.

Get back to me via email,call or test me on +234808-398-9796 OR 011234808-398-9796 so as to instruct you on how to make the refundable payment to me via western union money transfer to me.

I await your reply ASAP.Regard and God bless you!!!
Ralph Ramburger

Wed 5/18/11 2:29 PM

Mr. Gary d,

This is very good news, I knew we would be able to reach an agreement. Thank your wife for approving as well, and I hope she is doing well.

The arrangement for sending the key and Permanent House Document (PHD), (which I would never move in without!) is completely acceptable; I see you have had dealings with real estate before!

I should tell you, there is one little detail that has made finding a house rather tricky at times in the past.

You see, I have a (fully licensed) pet chimpanzee; his name is Mr. Bumpers. Normally he is not a huge amount of trouble, he is pretty clean, and he is potty trained. But, he does have a little bit of a temper sometimes, and in the past he has ripped up some of my furniture. That said, it should not really be a problem. For one, he only likes to take out his aggressions on couches and chairs and such, which will obviously belong to me. If any damage does happen to occur to the property, I have a special Chimp Insurance Policy (policy number 03345333-67CHI) that will pay for any damage Mr. Bumpers might potentially cause to the domicile.

I know that this is a strange request; I doubt you know many people that have pet chimpanzees. But when I saw Mr. Bumpers at the circus rescue shelter, I knew I had to adopt him and give him a home. I also know that his rage is only because of the hard circus life he led, and I am sympathetic to his bouts with Circus Rage (CR).

As a precaution, may I ask if you know of any professional or amateur clowns living near the house you are renting out? Mr. Bumpers has a strong negative reaction to clowns, because they remind him of his circus days so I think it is best that he not be exposed again to that trauma.

Because I really would like to rent this house from you, I want to be completely fair with you. I am willing to pay an additional deposit, just to show my good will that Mr. Bumpers will not be a worry, I will put down an additional $2,000.00 USD as a gesture of assurance that there will be no damage to the house (this is above the normal rate for domestic chimp deposits, which are normally $1,000.00-$1,500.00 USD).
All I ask is that at least a fair portion be refunded, assuming there is no chimp related damage, at the end of my leasing term.

I would hope that this is an acceptable offer- again, I will provide you with the deposit amount you are asking for, and I will also pay you $2,000.00 USD additional as a special case pet deposit that you may keep until the end of my living term on the premises. Also, remember I have a special coverage Chimpanzee Insurance, so there is no real risk to you.

I have a few more questions-

1- Is there an appropriate location where I can park my moped scooter at the property?

2- Would it be acceptable that I install temporary monkey-proof locks on the primary doors? (I can remove them when I move out)

3- Can we negotiate possible terms, such as additional payment, for an additional tenant? (so there will be 2 of us living there, plus Mr. Bumpers)

4- Can you tell me about the potential nearby clowns? If you do not know, that is okay, but I am asking just in case you do.

Thank you again Mr. Gary d, hopefully this will still work with my unique situation. I am looking online now, and it appears there is a Western Union office not too far from the hotel, so I should have a pretty easy time getting there once my moped is delivered from the airport baggage holding, which should be either today or tomorrow.

Ralph R.

Roth Gary d

Sent:Wed 5/18/11 3:05 PM

1- Is there an appropriate location where I can park my moped scooter at the property? YES...AT THE GARAGE..

2- Would it be acceptable that I install temporary monkey-proof locks on the primary doors? (I can remove them when I move out)...OK THAT IS NO PROBLEM.

3- Can we negotiate possible terms, such as additional payment, for an additional tenant? (so there will be 2 of us living there, plus Mr. Bumpers)...THE AMOUNT IS $750 SO THERE IS NOTHING LIKE ADDITIONAL RENT INCLUDED...YOU CAN HAVE UP TO THREE OR FOUR PEOPLE LIVING THERE...THERE IS NO PROBLEM.

4- Can you tell me about the potential nearby clowns? If you do not know, that is okay, but I am asking just in case you do. THERE IS NONE ON THAT AREA...SO YOU NEED NOT WORRY ABOUT THE MR BUMPER.


Roth Gary d

Sent:Wed 5/18/11 3:07 PM

Here is how to make the payment for the shipment through any Western Union Money transfer store near you, follow the instruction below.Go to any Western Union Money transfer store and make the payment to me.

ZIP CODE: 23401

After you've made the payment,get back to me with the payment details in the order giving below on E-mail.


As soon as i confirm the payment, I will send the neccessary document and keys of the house to you through FEDEX and get back to you with the Tracking number and the arrival time of the document and the keys.Get back to me via email or call me .

Hope to read from you soon.

Ralph Ramburger

Wed 5/18/11 3:19 PM

Hello Mr. Gary,

Thank you for being so prompt, I am glad that I am going to be able to move in so quickly!

I am a little confused here though... you haven't told me the total amount I should wire to you. Isn't this important? Remember, I am giving you a pet deposit of $2,000.00 USD in addition to the total amount you are asking for in relation to the rent and deposit. Please tell me how much I need to wire to you, so I can inform my company of the moving expenses. That is, unless you don't want the extra $2,000.00 deposit... do you want it?

I am sorry to press, but I must ask, just to be sure. You say there are no clowns in the area. Are you sure about this? You seem pretty certain, but I need to really know before I can determine how secure Mr. Bumpers will be when I bring him over. Have you walked around the neighborhood much and personally seen that there are no clowns?

Okay, thank you again for your time; I will be ready with the money as soon as I am able,


Ralph R.
Roth Gary d

eases back a bit on the financial demands

Sent:Wed 5/18/11 3:32 PM

OK....all i need right now is the deposit and the first month rent which is $1450 to secure and to ship the packages for you...the pet deposit can come later when you are settled in the house...so all i will be needing from you now is $1450 to get moving...so please d get back to me immediately when the money is wired.

Thanks for the being my tenant.

Ralph Ramburger

Wed 5/18/11 3:40 PM

Mr. Gary d,

I am not your tenant quite yet, sir. I will have the $1450.00 ready by tomorrow at the latest.
Thank you for your generosity in giving me extra time to provide you with the additional deposit.

Also, you didn't really answer my question- have you personally walked around the Redmond property and confirmed there are not any circus clowns or other circus related paraphernalia in the area?

Thank you-

Ralph R.
Roth Gary d

having checked his street, and possibly the local police logs, for clown-related activity

Wed 5/18/11 4:04 PM

Ok...around my neighborhood there is no clowns there but i dont know of the hole redmond. But the sorrounding of my house there is nothing like that. So get back to me tommorrow as soon you have the $1450.00 sent to.

Remain Blessed.
Ralph Ramburger

Wed 5/18/11 4:12 PM

Mr. Gary d,

Thank you for confirming that there are no clowns in the area. I understand that you cannot comment on all of Redmond- thank you again for the information, I feel much better about bringing Mr. Bumpers over.

Good news, I just got word that my moped is being brought from airport holding, so I will have it by tonight. I believe the Western Union office will probably be closed by the time I have my scooter, but I will be able to go tomorrow morning and wire the money to your provided contact information.

Mr. Bumpers will be so happy to have a spacious, clown free house to reside in!

I will get back to you soon,


Ralph R.
Roth Gary d

Wed 5/18/11 4:41 PM

You can also check the western union today....some branches do open till 8,9 so check them tonight if it will be possible.

Get back to me.

Ralph Ramburger

Wed 5/18/11 4:50 PM

Hello again Mr. Gary,

I have to say, I am impressed, and maybe even a little surprised, that you are letting me move in. You are allowing a strange man you have never met, who has an unknown credit history, owns a temperamental and sometimes violent, traumatized chimpanzee, and has not even signed a lease agreement, to move into your house?

May I ask, is your home owners insurance really alright with this arrangement? What if, worst case scenario, Mr. Bumpers bit or attacked someone on your property? Are you covered for that- because as the owner of the house, you do know that you are liable for mine and Mr. Bumper's actions, right?

Before I can finish this transaction- could you please provide me with a written, notarized statement from your home owners insurance company, stating that they are accepting of this arrangement of having a chimpanzee living at the house?

I think I already know why you are letting me move in though- it is no doubt because you are such a devout, deeply religious man, and you show your care and trust to others by offering forward your good will toward them and taking a risk like this. For this, I thank you- I have been very worried about finding a place to live in the Redmond, and you have helped me so much by extending this offer and making it so easy!

So I have good news, my company has authorized the funds (they gave me $1,500.00, so I have $50 to spare!), and they have deposited the money into my account. This means I will have enough to send you tomorrow morning. Furthermore, the airport courier service is bringing my moped right now to my hotel. Tomorrow morning, I will pick up Mr. Bumpers from the Monkey Hotel, and I will drive to the Western Union office and complete the wire transfer.

So, on your end- please just send along the letter text from your home insurance company so I can be assured that there will be no issues with staying at the house. Once I receive this from you, I will have everything I need to wire the money, so please send it AQAP (As Quickly As Possible).

I would try and go tonight, but the airport courier is saying they will not be here until around 8:30pm, and that will not give me enough time to get there tonight, but do not worry, I will do it first thing tomorrow morning. This will also assure there is time for the deposit to clear and show up in my account- otherwise you would not get the money, and I would not get the house!

Thank you again, and bless YOU sir-

Ralph R.
Roth Gary d
Wed 5/18/11 5:23 PM To: ralphramb@hotmail.com Am sorry but i can not send you anything this late and i dont think i can send that to you so i fill you can go and look for anothe house if you cant send me the money as agreed. Thanks.
Ralph Ramburger

Wed 5/18/11 5:27 PM

Mr. Gary d,

Alright, that is fine. I will send the money as agreed tomorrow morning, but you will need to send the insurance papers in the FEDEX package with the keys then- is that acceptable? I would hate to lose this great deal, so I can compromise here.

I will go to Western Union tomorrow morning and wire the money, and we can work out the rest of the detail afterward- agreed?

Roth Gary d

Wed 5/18/11 5:31 PM

Perfect. As soon as i get the money i will email you with the FedEx tracking numbers. So that you track the package so they will bring it to you Hotel.

Get back to me tomorrow morning.

Roth Gary d

Sent: Thu 5/19/11 9:38 AM


am still waiting for your mail with the money...get back to me asap.

Ralph Ramburger

Thu 5/19/11 10:28 AM

Good morning Mr. Gary,

Okay, I have had an interesting day- I got up, had my coffee, clamped on the good 'ol helmet and went to the Monkey Hotel to pick up Mr. Bumpers. Once I had him strapped into the sidecar on my moped, we went straight to the Western Union office-

The people at the counter where a little distracted, I think it was because of Mr. Bumpers- anyway, I sent the money, you should be able to pick it up, just say that Mr. Ralph Ramburger has forwarded you the amount and give them your name, I assume that is all you should need.

Right now, Mr. Bumpers is watching Dunston Checks In at the hotel room. It is a nice day outside, so I think I will take Mr. Bumpers to Redmond and look at the house a little later. Also, you can just FEDEX the box with the keys right to the house, just provide instructions to FEDEX to leave it with the neighbors and I will pick it up there.

Thank you!

R. Q. R.
Roth Gary d

Thu 5/19/11 10:36 AM




Ralph Ramburger

Thu 5/19/11 10:39 AM

Oh sorry. You really need all this?

The name is Ralph Q. Ramburger
The city is Seattle, the state is Washington
The question is: Mister
The answer is: Bumpers

There you go, sorry I forgot-

Roth Gary d

Thu 5/19/11 10:43 AM

Ralph Ramburger

Thu 5/19/11 10:53 AM

Where do I find the "Control Number"?
Roth Gary d

Thu 5/19/11 10:55 AM

is a 10 digit number is on the receipt...

Ralph Ramburger

Thu 5/19/11 11:06 AM

Okay, this is frustrating, I can't find the receipt. I thought I put it on the nightstand... I hope Mr. Bumpers didn't eat it.
How about this, I will go to the lobby and ask to use the phone, I think they will let me use it long enough to at least ask the Western Union office what the number is... do you think that will work?

The money is already sent and is just waiting to be picked up... this is such a hassle, I just want to get into the house.


Roth Gary d

Sent: Thu 5/19/11 11:13 AM

go back to the western union office..

Ralph Ramburger

Thu 5/19/11 11:20 AM

My, this is such a hassle. I have a meeting at 1:00pm, which is pretty soon here, hopefully I will make it in time. I hate to interrupt Mr. Bumpers movie... he loves Dunston so much. Anyway, fine, I will go back to Western Union and ask. Boy... this will all be worth it once I am sitting on the porch of my new house though!
I hope the mission trip is going well for you; you are such a good man!

Roth Gary d

meltdown! score!

Thu 5/19/11 11:34 AM

Am tired of this hole thing i checked the names and western union there is no money avalaible for pick up with your name. If you are interested in the house please go and send the money and stop beating the bush because am fucking tired of this.

Ralph Ramburger

Thu 5/19/11 11:47 AM

My, for a man on a mission trip you are rather rude sir! I hope you are more caring with your sickly wife!

No matter... my office called the lobby here. They are moving me back to Kentucky USA anyway, apparently that is what the meeting is about, so it looks like I won't even need the house. It is kind of disappointing... it was such a nice house, what with the ceramic entryway and everything.

Mr. Bumpers would have liked it too- a nice, quiet place in Redmond, no clowns for miles...

I will go back to Western Union and cancel the transaction... I can't believe they didn't have it on file, they must be completely incompetent!

I hope you find someone else to rent the house. On your ad, I really would suggest pointing out that you allow chimpanzees to stay there, that is not something you see very often when renting out a house; so that could be a real selling point!

Well... I guess I will pack up my things, strap Mr. Bumpers back into the sidecar of my moped, and go back to the airport... this has been one crazy ride! I am sure you will have no trouble finding a renter for the house though- just remember to mention that chimps are allowed!

Be well on your journeys-


Roth Gary d

The scammer felt the need to throw in this on last little "insult" at the end, which made me laugh... as if he would think I was joking, but I didn't realize this was a scam...

Thu 5/19/11 3:11 PM

msklwwwwwwww....i know you have been pulling my legs and also am also have been puling your legs because the house is rented out already....