IT AIN'T OGAH TILL IT'S OGAH

A gem from the archives of Malcolm Reynolds - the mastermind of such adventures as THE PRICE OF JUSTICE, WE AIM TO MISBEHAVE, YOU ARE A GREAT PILOT and A BLESSING IN DISGUISE.

This scammer flips through a rolodex of alter egos (who may or may not actually be different people) in pursuit of Malcolm's cash.


It began as a basic Contract scam, but went in some very interesting directions... with fake scammers and fake payment services causing confusion in large amounts!

The Scammers
Dr Waliu Ogah, - Chairman of the Contract Award Committee, Federal Ministry of Gold and Mine Resources BENIN REPUBLIC; twice referred to himself as Dr Musa Bello
Barrister David Omotayo, Lawyer Lad from Benin
Barrister Joeseph Fredrick, Second Lawyer Lad (supposedly American)
Dr Mahamadu Bawumia, Banker Lad
Kelvin Eze, Mahamadu Bawumia's Western Union identity
Leo Jideoffor Orekyeh, originally Waliu Ogah's Western Union identity, but became a character in his own right

The Baiters
Malcolm Reynolds - US Marine (retired) living in Central Australia.
(Fake) Loe Jideoffor, a fake version of Leo Jideoffor Orekyeh created by Pyrosoft of 419 Eater

While Western Union does play a part in this bait, thanks are due to Mr Me of 419 Eater for the new (non-) payment modality. I've changed the name to protect the modality.


Dr Waliu Ogah
04 September 2007

Dear:Sir/Ma,
I am the Chairman of the Contract Award Committee, Federal Ministry of Gold and Mine Resources BENIN REPUBLIC, I am in search of an agent to assist us in the transfer of (US$8.2M) Eight MILLION,TWO HUNDRED THOUSAND UNITED STATES DOLLARS. And subsequent investment in properties in your country.You will be required to:
(1) Assist in the transfer of the said sum
(2) Advise on lucrative areas for investment
(3) Assist us in purchase of properties in your country.
If you decide to render your service to us you can E-mail me at my private email:
w_ogah22@yahoo.dk and in this WE HAVE AGREED TO SHARE THE MONEY AS FOLLLOWS: 30% for you 60% for us and 10% for any expences that may occur during the transaction if it interest you kindly send me your private Telephone, Fax number and Email for easy commnuication.
Respectfully,
Dr. Waliu Ogah
Chairman Contract Award Committee {CCAC}

Another day, another Lad... let's see what his modality is.

Malcolm Reynolds
Mr Ogah,
I am not agreeing to anything without some explanations - as in (1) why me, (2) what's supposed to happen, (3) is everything above board?
Regards,
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
06 September 2007

Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Thanks for your response and sorry for not hearing from me ealier than this time is due to i travel out side for a special duty.
All you ask is a very good question that every good business man can ask at the initial stage which i know that you needs an explaination.
First i got your email address through our world international chamber of commerce where i get your address and i decided to send the proposal to you because my mind accepted you and i pray my mind just tell me that you can not betray me because of your repute And Secondly on the issue about the sharing of the transaction you will be taking 30% percent and 10% for any expences while the 60% is my and i will personally involve a lawyer who will perfect all the necessary documents in your favour as the original beneficiary and he will stand to defend it here .
I will take care of the attorney fees for the main time till if it reach time for any financial assistant i will let you know .
What we need for the claim are as follows:
YOUR FULL NAME
ANY COMPANY NAME OR THE LAWYER WILL REGISTER ONE FOR YOU
YOUR FULL ADDRESS
YOUR PERSONAL TELEPHONE
YOUR FAX
After , the lawyer will be telling us the next stage before filling a paper to the bank for the cliam while as the chairman of the board i will immediately approved all the papers for the claim concerning the third question you ask for the board .
I only want you to be with me and stand with me as the beneficiary ,and within seven working days all will be over.
With all these my explaination all was well understood and i will be expecting your urgent response so i can start to negotiate with a very good lawyer and arrange money for the service.
Regards
Dr. Waliu Ogah

Some scene-setting of my own is in order...

Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
Let me just state from the git-go that I'm not a businessman. I'm a survival instructor with a military background. I don't know how my name could have got onto a business database, but I guess that's not important.
What is important is; knowing that, am I still able to help you? And you didn't touch on the third question - as in, could this deal get us into trouble?
Regards,
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
08 September 2007

Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Thanks for your mail and the question your asking about ,which says will the transaction leads us into trouble ? what i want to assure you is that this transaction is a 100% free risk as far as i'm concern because i will not like to involve my self into what will tarnish my reputation and my intergrity i have built for my self and my family name and especially with my position in this country as a CHAIRMAN OF THE CONTRACT AWARD COMMITTEE OF THE FEDERAL MINISTRY OF GOLD AND MINE RESOURCES in this country .
I will advice you to feel free to deal with me and send down your details ,as far as you know that you will not disappoint me and the trust i have built where you are in my prayer will remain the same if the fund enters into your account .
With all these explaination all i said is well understood.
I'm expecting your urgent response so i will use this weekend to discuss with the lawyer so by next week he can start processing all the necessary documents .
Regards
Dr. Waliu Ogah

OK - it's time to establish some more personality, and to also make sure that the phone will never be an issue.

Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
I had to ask - for my own peace of mind.
On a personal note - I may not have risen to become the Chairman of a Federal Ministry, but I served my country for 14 years in the United States Marine Corps and rose to the rank of Captain. I would have been a Major at least, possibly Colonel by now if I hadn't been forced out for medical reasons.
That being said...
FULL NAME Malcolm Paul Reynolds
COMPANY NAME Don't have one
FULL ADDRESS 2/33 Stuart Drive, Alice Springs, Northern Territory, Australia
PERSONAL TELEPHONE Don't have one. An accident on the firing range at Camp Lejeune left me with near-constant tinnitus - makes using a phone or radio just about impossible.
FAX None.
Over to you!
Regards,
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
10 September 2007

Dear Malcolm Paul Reynolds,
Thanks for your response and your kin interest,all you sent was well received by me .
If you can go through the proposal i sent to you ,you will see how i stated it there that 30% is for you and 10% is for any expences that may occur during the transaction while the 60% is for me and i will personally involve a lawyer who will perfect all the necessary documents in your favour as the original beneficiary and he will stand to defend it here .
I will take care of the attorney fees for the main time till if it reach time for any financial assistant i will let you know .After , the lawyer will be telling us the next stage before filling a paper to the bank for the cliam while as the chairman i will immediately approve all the papers for the claim immediately it reaches my desk.
I will be meeting a lawyer this evening for round table discussion and negotiates with him as i told you ealier , so i can arrange for his fees for the services and after the meeting i will be updating you immediately.
And kindly reply any mail i sent to you because we need a constant communication within this period and i will like you to tell me what you are doing for a living now so i will know if you will assist me to direct me to a very good business i will venture into for investment in your country.
Regards
Dr. Waliu Ogah

A little foreshadowing on the fees required down the track, I see!

Dr Waliu Ogah
10 September 2007

Dear Malcolm Paul Reynolds,
I have discuss with the attorney this yesterday evening as i told you and he has accepted in handling it in your absent as your representative here ,that he will be here on your behalf and i have conclude with the fees with him which he accepted of US$12,000 after all negotiations which he charged i told him that i will be giving him US$5,000 this morning so he can use it in processing all the necessary documents in your favour untill the fund entered into your account as plan before i will pay him the balance .
And i know he will swing into action immediately i gives him his fees this morning because he told me to be in his office before 9am as he said because i have submmitted all the information to him and he was very happy . I will be giving you update from time to time and he will be communicating with you as he said . Please i will like you to tell me what you are doing for a living now so i will know if you will assist me to direct me to a very good business i will venture into for investment in your country as a business advice.
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Dr Waliu Ogah
12 September 2007

Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
I have giving the lawyer the money as we discuss and he told me that he will be communicating to you to give you the update and introduce himself to you.
Please feel free to talk to him because we have paid him for the service and you should know that all the money i paid to him is in your name and mind you i told him that you are a friend that need the service of an attorney so i introduce you to him.
I know i will be expecting to hear more update from and the lawyer.
Expecting your response.
Regards
Dr. Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
I told you almost at the start that I'm a survival instructor. I teach emergency services and interested locals and tourists the elements of wilderness survival. Between that and my military pension I live pretty comfortably. How to put it? As an investor, I'm a great ex-soldier.
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah (Dr Musa Bello)

This is the first time that he signed with the wrong name.

13 September 2007

DEAR Malcolm Reynolds ,
Please I once more remind you that i told him that you are friend in canada that need an assistance of a lawyer to process for your fund that is why i made all the payment in your favour and feel free to write him . HIS NAME IS: BARRISTER DAVID OMOTAYO(SAN)
EMAIL: barr_davidomotayo@lawyer.com
And you are free to contact him first because i have discuss your issue with him.
Expecting your urgent response.
Regards
Dr.Musa Bello
Dr Waliu Ogah
13 September 2007

Dear Malcolm Paul Reynolds,
Thanks for your response and your kin interest,all you sent was well received by me . If you can go through the proposal i sent to you ,you will see how i stated it there that 30% is for you and 10% is for any expences that may occur during the transaction while the 60% is for me and i will personally involve a lawyer who will perfect all the necessary documents in your favour as the original beneficiary and he will stand to defend it here .
I will take care of the attorney fees for the main time till if it reach time for any financial assistant i will let you know .After , the lawyer will be telling us the next stage before filling a paper to the bank for the cliam while as the chairman. i will immediately approve all the papers for the claim immediately it reaches my desk. I will be meeting a lawyer this evening for round table discussion and negotiates with him as i told you ealier , so i can arrange for his fees for the services and after the meeting i will be updating you immediately.
And kindly reply any mail i sent to you because we need a constant communication within this period and i will like you to tell me what you are doing for a living now so i will know if you will assist me to direct me to a very good business i will venture into for investment in your country.
Regards
Dr. Waliu Ogah
Dr Waliu Ogah (Dr Musa Bello)
13 September 2007

DEAR Malcolm Reynolds ,
Please I once more remind you that i told him that you are friend in canada that need an assistance of a lawyer to process for your fund that is why i made all the payment in your favour and feel free to write him . HIS NAME IS :BARRISTER DAVID OMOTAYO(SAN)
EMAIL: barr_davidomotayo@lawyer.com
And you are free to contact him first because i have discuss your issue with him.
Expecting your urgent response.
Regards
Dr.Musa Bello
Barrister David Omotayo

Here's the lawyer - which in my experience is where the fun truly begins.

13 September 2007

Attn:Malcolm Reynolds
I'm Barrister DAVID OMOTAYO a member of Senior Advocate of Benin i was directed by DR WALIU OGAH of (MMSM)who is the chairman committee on contract to help you secure your fund with the (MMSM) which i saw him a couple of hours which he gave me the part payment to kick off the processing immediately .
And i will be heading to the Benin chamber of commerce to secure an Incorporation of a Business name he gave me before proceeding to thier company for the rest and i will be forwarding any papers i secure on your behalf to you .
Please send me the following and i have already informed Dr.Waliu Ogah about it to enable me fasten it up in time and don't fail to acknowledge every of my mail i send to you . YOUR INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT OR ID CARD ,DRIVING LICENSE for a means of identification Thanks for knowing you .
Hope to hear from you .
Regards
Barrister David Omotayo(SAB)
Malcolm Reynolds
Mr Omotayo,
I'm afraid I can't send you those details. Passport copies are forbidden by Federal law, there's no national ID card for the US, and I don't have a driving license.
My apologies, but facts are facts.
Malcolm Reynolds
Barrister David Omotayo
14 September 2007

Attn:Malcolm Reynolds ,
All you said concerning your identification is well undertstood , but is their protocal law here but i have told your friend he told me that he will give me a back up note for identification here and to surety you here which is a very good idea.
I have secure all your necessary papers for the cliam i will be sending it to you today immediately i see your friend DR WALIU OGAH because there is some fees for the registration for (MMSM) which i wanted to collect from him today which he told me that you are aware and immediately i paid it to them all the papers will be ok and i will show it to him as he said before sending it to you through your maill attachement as he told me and himself will send it to your through DHL as the original copy. All is in other you will be hearing from me later in the day immediately i comes back from the court.
Regards
Barrister David Omotayo(SAB)
Barrister David Omotayo
17 September 2007

Dear Malcolm Reynolds ,
Please you don't have to do any thing because is just only a proof that there is business transaction you have with the government and i will be sending the original copy to your friend as he told me because he said that he will be sending it to you through courier service. Please i will advice you to give me your banking details immediately so i will use to write application to the bank for your payment as follows:
YOUR BANK NAME
BANK ADDRESS
ACCOUNT NUMBER
SWIFT NUMBER
ACCOUNT OWNER
ABA NUMBER (IF ANY)
Please give me the following for the submission
Expecting your urgent response.
Regards
Barrister David Omotayo(SAB)
Barrister David Omotayo

A pile of documents shows up - and very bad documents they are too! This is not a good start for the lawyer...

17 September 2007

Attn:Malcolm Reynolds ,
Attach here is the Afideffit of your fund claim and contract award certificate & job completion certificate and MMSM registration of your company name as a grade 'A' contractor with the MMSM company and the documents all in your name for the US$8,200,000.00 which will serve as proof to the central bank that whom ever has this documents is the full beneficiary to the said fund. Please note that all the documents was backdated to suite for the claim as a long awaiting fund and as i was directed by DR .WALIU OGAH to do it and they are the documents which I got from MMSM as a registered company with them , all this serve you as the bonafide beneficiary of this fund (us$8.2m) As you can see, i have done a lot of job and to make sure you get your fund and i want you to furnish me with your banking information details iimediately so i will put up application for your claim immediately as i told you in the Central bank of Benin for your immediate payment into your account.
Upon the receipt of these documents, Your hereby acknowledge the receipt of this documents . Expecting your acknowledgement of this mail immediately .
Best Regards
Barrister David Omotayo
Senior Advocate of Benin (SAB)

We often skip the 'documents', but these are so colorful!







Malcolm Reynolds

A slap is fully justified!

Mr Omotayo,
If this is your idea of a job well done, then I'm the gorram Pope!
YOU SPELLED MY NAME WRONG ON EVERY DOCUMENT!
Malcolm Reynolds
Barrister David Omotayo

It's always the secretary's fault, isn't it?

17 September 2007

Attn:Malcolm Reynolds ,
Sir sorry for the costly mistake i have just gone through the whole documents and saw it and all these fault is fromn my secretary who type this to me before i proceed for the processing .
Instead of typing MALCOLM REYNOLDS he went as far as typing MALCOLM RENOLDS i have seen the mistake i will be going to the court this morning to swear an afidevit on it and change all the whole documents in your name.
And sorry for all these inconvinience this may cause you and incase if you see any other mistake apart from this don't hesitate to let me know immediately today .
We are very sorry sir and we still thank you for your understanding.
Barrister David Omotayo
Senior Advocate of Benin (SAB)
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
That barrister is a few rounds short of a full belt. He sent me some documents with my name wrongly spelled on every one. And while we're here - you ain't exactly over full on brains. So I'm in Canada? In that case please explain why my address is in Australia!
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah (Dr Musa Bello)

[In which we learn that Australia is now a farflung province of Canada]

18 September 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds ,
I sent this mail to you yesterday please kindly go through it and get back to me because i told the lawyer to hold on until i hear from you before i will tell him to go on .
COMPANY NAME: MALCOLM PAUL REYNOLDS INC
FULL ADDRESS : # 2/33 STUART DRIVE, ALICE SPRINGS, NORTHERN TERRITORY,AUSTRALIA,CANADA

That's one weird address...

Please if the above is ok kindly let me know so i will tell him to go on , i'm expecting your urgent response in this matter.
Regards
Dr.Musa Bello
Barrister David Omotayo

If they thought that repeating the blunder would make it acceptable, then they were wrong!

19 September 2007

Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Sir after tendering apology to you uptil now i have not hear from and i hope all is well in this respect because MR.WALIU OGAH told me to hold on until he hear from you so i can continue with the below name as he gave it to me .
COMPANY NAME: MALCOLM PAUL REYNOLDS INC
FULL ADDRESS : # 2/33 STUART DRIVE, ALICE SPRINGS, NORTHERN TERRITORY,AUSTRALIA,CANADA
Please get back so all will be done in time as shedule so they will pay together with others this week
Regards,
Barrister David Omotayo
Senior Advocate of Benin (SAB)

Firing the lawyer needs no thought on my part. David Omotayo is probably one of the most comically inept that I've encountered.

Malcolm Reynolds
Mr Omotayo,
I have directed Dr Ogah to find another lawyer so your services are no longer required.
Regards,
Malcolm Reynolds
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
This whole thing has fallen apart.
I've told Mr Omotayo that he's no longer wanted.
Get another lawyer because you really screwed the pooch on this one.
Australia's not in Canada any more than Benin is in Brazil. I don't know why you brought Canada into it.
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah (Dr Musa Bello)
19 September 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds ,
Please the lawyer just call me just few minutes ago and forwarded what you sent to him to me and he told me that he has reply you back immediately.
Brother you could have let me know first before writing to the lawyer for the withdrawal for the service we have paid him for because if you look as i told you in my last mail that the fault is not from the lawyer that is from me because through what you sent to me on Sunday , 9th September 2007

that i forwarded it to him for the preparing of the documents and i have gone through the documents the only place he made a mistake is only through your NAME which he told me that he will go to court to swear afidevits and change it to your real NAME which i accepted because your address in Australia is ok .
Please sir lets exercise patience with the attorney so he can finished his service so he can instruct them to transfer the fund and he finds his way because you know to go and get service of another lawyer is money and i have spent a very huge amount of money for the REGISTRATION OF YOUR COMPANY AS MMSM GRADE '''A''' CONTRACTOR in this country which is not easy.
Lets manage him so we can finalized this and let the bank transfer the fund into your account and so he can finds his way because apart from this ,the man is not relevant to us in this transaction ,
please lets forgive and forget so we can keep on moving and get things in other.
I HOPE THE BELOW IS OK BY YOU PLEASE LET ME KNOW:
COMPANY NAME: MALCOLM PAUL REYNOLDS INC
FULL ADDRESS : # 2/33 STUART DRIVE, ALICE SPRINGS, NORTHERN TERRITORY, AUSTRALIA
Kindly let me know so i will go and see the lawyer and know how to reconcile with him in this matter so he can proceed immediately with those correction.
Expecting your urgent response.
Regards
Dr. Waliu Ogah
Dr Waliu Ogah

Dr Ogah is now is full damage control...

20 September 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds ,
All you want me to do now is a very big task on my side looking for a new attorney but to malke sure that i satisfy you i will do it to make sure all is ok there will be no complain on my side and on yourown side because the true is that the lawyer will be having a double mind to work with us because of what happen which i will not like.
After going through your mail i decided to look for another lawyer immediately which i have got one and i will have a talk with him this evening and after our discussion i will let you know .
But i know all will ended up in looking for another money which i want to go and source for from a friend so he can borrow me money so immediately after our discussion with him i will pay him something and he will start immediately because there is no time to delay it.
And he don't have much to do only to swear an affidevit in those documents the former lawyer has done and facilitate the payment with immediate effect.
You will be hearing from me on our out come.
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Dr Waliu Ogah
20 September 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds ,
Sorry for not hearing from me on our yesterday discussion with the lawyer is due to i went to an emergency meetings with some boardmembers on one matter.
After the meeting i went to see the BARRISTER DAVID on this matter which we all ended up very well and he said that there is no problem that he has hands off from it as we don't need his service any longer.
I have negotiated with the new lawyer he said that he will be taking US$5,000.00 to finalize the transaction, which after this mail i will be going to his house to give him US$2,500 which i borrow yesterday from a friend so he can start it immediately and he promised me that if we see today as we discuss yesterday that by tomorrow all the papers will be ok because is only swearing of the affidevits and changing the name and write to the bank for your payment as he said.
And i have giving him your contact and he told me that he will write to you and introduce himself to you and his name is BARRISTER JOSEPH FEDRICK (SAN)
I know you have seen what i have done all is in the prosperity.
Expecting your response.
Regards
Dr. Waliu Ogah

He says that he won't screw up again... now that is not a wise promise to make!

Dr Waliu Ogah
21 September 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds ,
As you said brother i will not screw up again ,i have given the lawyer the money this money and i know by tomorrow as he promised me all will be ok.
The lawyer told me that he will be communicating to you ,please if he has not kindly open communication with him because i do all the payment on your name and you have the right to direct him where he is going .
I still thank you once more for your understanding.
Regards
Dr. Waliu Ogah

After all those apologies, it's a pleasure to get a new lawyer to torment.

Barrister Joeseph Fredrick
22 September 2007

Attn:Malcolm Reynolds
I'm Barrister Joseph Fredrick a member of Senior Advocate of Benin
i was directed by Dr.Waliu Ogah who is the chairman of (MMSM) to help you secure your fund with the MMSM which he told me to see him today, so he will be giving me the part payment to kick off the processing immediately as the former lawyer has travel for a special attention on his health ground.And after seeing him this morning as we discuss yesterday i will be heading to court to swear affidevit on the errors on those dcuments and i will facilitate on your payments to the bank so they will release your fund in time and immediately i get the papers i will be sending it across to you immediately because i know by tomorrow all will be ready .
Hope to know each other better..
Regards
Barrister Joseph Fredrick(SAB)
Barrister Joeseph Fredrick
22 September 2007

Attn:Malcolm Reynolds
Sir,
I sent a mail to you concerning your good friend who engaged me as your attorney that will represent you here and assist you to get your awaiting fund and he gave me money that you sent through him and uptil now i have not hear from you so i can be informing you the update.
Please sir let me hear from you so i will send you all your documents for your claim ,so i will easily file a paper to the bank for your fund.
Expecting your reply
Regards
Barrister Joseph Fredrick(SAB)
Dr Waliu Ogah

Why is he telling me this all over again?

22 September 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds ,
Sorry for not hearing from me on our yesterday discussion with the lawyer is due to i went to an emergency meetings with some boardmembers on one matter.
After the meeting i went to see the BARRISTER DAVID on this matter which we all ended up very well and he said that there is no problem that he has hands off from it as we don't need his service any longer.
I have negotiated with the new lawyer he said that he will be taking US$5,000.00 to finalize the transaction, which after this mail i will be going to his house to give him US$2,500 which i borrow yesterday from a friend so he can start it immediately and he promised me that if we see today as we discuss yesterday that by tomorrow all the papers will be ok because is only swearing of the affidevits and changing the name and write to the bank for your payment as he said.
And i have giving him your contact and he told me that he will write to you and introduce himself to you and his name is
BARRISTER JOSEPH FEDRICK (SAN)
I know you have seen what i have done all is in the prosperity.
Expecting your response.
Regards
Dr. Waliu Ogah

Mal is less than impressed.

Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
I just heard from a barrister named Joseph Frederick.
He wrote that the "former lawyer has travel for a special attention on his health ground" - so you told him that Omotayo dropped out because of ill-health?
Hell's teeth, why tell him anything? I get the impression that you run off at the mouth! Listen up - do not tell people more than they need to know! It's because you say more than you should that we had to drop Omotayo.
Remember that.
Malcolm Reynolds
Malcolm Reynolds
Mr Frederick,
You can go ahead as you stated.
I replied before, acknowledging your message.
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
24 September 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds ,
I 'm the one that told him that the man stopped the job in half way due to his health problem which he really understood because if i did'nt let him know now he will still know due to the documents i gave to him in this respect that he will be swearing affidevits for.
Please all is in other he has done it and he told me that he will be sending it to you later today and he told me this morning through our telephone conversation that he has heard from you through the mail you sent to him.
Please be updating me immediately he send it to you .
Regards
Dr. Waliu Ogah

The lawyer does what he's supposed to do - but the Lads make a slight (as in serious) blunder. Take a peek at the documents!

Barrister Joeseph Fredrick
25 September 2007

Attn:Malcolm Paul Reynolds ,
Please this is attched documents i secured on your behalf for your funds claim :
Contract award certificate
Job completion certificate
Business name Registration
MMSM Registration of your company name as a grade 'A' contractor
The MMSM company and the documents all in your name for the US$8,200,000.00 which will is a proof to the central bank that you are the bonify owner of the said sum.
All the documents was backdated,now i will advice you to give me your banking details immediately as stated below ,so i will put up application for your claim immediately.
BANK NAME
BANK ADDRESS
ACCOUNT NUMBER.
SWIFT NUMBER.
ACCOUNT OWNER.
ABA NUMBER (IF ANY).
Please kindly furnish me with your banking details and acknowledge the receipt of this documents.
Expecting your response.
Best Regards
Barrister Joeseph Fredrick
Senior Advocate of Benin (SAB)



Yep, that's right - signed by the old lawyer! Mal is once again less than impressed.

Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
I told you to fire David Omotayo, but it's blatantly clear that you didn't, and instead told him to use a false name when writing to me.
WHY ARE YOU LYING TO ME? I don't do business with liars!
Malcolm Reynolds
Malcolm Reynolds
Mr Omotayo,
You were sacked before, and now you're back using a false name. I don't know why you're still involved, but stay the hell out of this business! Do you understand?
Malcolm Reynolds

Dr Ogah seems to think that standing his ground, assuming the role of wounded dignity, and playing the Power of Attorney card will get him out of this scrape.

Dr Waliu Ogah
25 September 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds ,
To be sincere with you it seems that you are a very difficult man to dealt with and be please and to be candid i will really find it difficult to do something with you that will be of benefit to each other.
Because you don't know what i have been going through in spending money for attorney in this country on this transaction to be susessfull what you use to pay me back is by calling me a lier. Please kindly give me a power of attorney so i can continue with one MR. RON MACLEAN OF NEW YORK USA .so if the money is out i will send something to you because i understood that you want to fraustrate me after everything because we can not be having disagreement where the money is not yet out and you can not trust me and you can not believe in me while i have not even collect a dine from you hoping that if all be ok it makes us to know each other better.
I need your urgent response in this matter BECAUSE NO BUSINESS IN THIS WORLD CAN BE SUCESSFUL WITHOUT TRUST ..
Regards
Dr. Waliu Ogah

Well, he was wrong! How will he take this?

Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
You told me that you had a new lawyer - so why then did he submit documents signed by the old one? Care to give me an honest answer to that?
You talk about trust, yet I have hard evidence of your deceptive conduct. There's no point in skating over the matter. I am not going to give you a power of attorney because I see no advantage to myself in spending money that I have no need - or obligation - to pay.
Malcolm Reynolds

Strangely enough, the Barrister adopts the same approach as Dr Ogah. What are the odds on that, I wonder?

Barrister Joeseph Fredrick
25 September 2007

Attn:Malcolm Paul Reynolds ,
What hell are talking about ? please i don't understand you very well
Explain more to me !!!
Best Regards
Barrister Joeseph Fredrick
Senior Advocate of Benin (SAB)
Malcolm Reynolds
David-Omotyao-pretending-to-be-Joe-Frederick,
You sent me forms that were supposed to be from Joe Frederick but were actually signed by David Omotayo. In other words, you blew your cover. I don't like bullshit artists at the best of times!
Malcolm Reynolds
Barrister Joeseph Fredrick

As excuses go, this doesn't quite cut the mustard...

26 September 2007

Attn:Malcolm Paul Reynolds ,
Is now that i understood you very well all the idea of using your former attorney name is to help facilitate your payment because if we can start the process from the beginning it will take months before it will be approved that is why i suggested to your friend DR. WALIU OGAH and he really understand my idea before i started proceeding for the swearing of the affidevits to back it up with the documents.
Sir all is in other because we know the system here ,i can only advice you to come up with your account together so i will submitt it with your application for our central bank to pay you.
Hope to hear from you.
Best Regards
Barrister Joeseph Fredrick
Senior Advocate of Benin (SAB)

Time to raise the ante...

Malcolm Reynolds
Attn: Whoever you are
That is totally lame. Why would it take months to do what only took days just before?
Prove that you are who say you are. Send me a copy of your bar certificate.
Malcolm Reynolds
Barrister Joeseph Fredrick
25 September 2007

Attn:Malcolm Paul Reynolds ,
Who are you that i should send my certfificate to you it seems that you don't have manner on how you address to people you have not seen before and how much do you think that you have that you will be asking me such a question. Any well i will let the man who introduce you to be aware of what is going on because you are very arrogantman that don't have any single curtesy.
Best Regards
Barrister Joeseph Fredrick
Senior Advocate of Benin (SAB)
Malcolm Reynolds
"Barrister Joeseph Frederick",
You can pontificate and bluster all you like, but you lied to me, and it's beyond any gorram dispute that you did. The more you rant and rave, the more obvious it is that you're a pompous blowhard with something to hide. Oh, and that wasn't a question - it was a demand.
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
26 September 2007

Dear Malcolm Reynolds ,
Sir you can call me anything because you are not involve please for christ sake kindly give me the power of attorney so i can process this fdund with another person and pay all my debt i have borrowed from people concerning this funds transfer so later i will pay you a 10% percent for involving you.
I need your urgent response.
Regards
Dr. Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
All that is needed from all concerned is honesty and candor. You and Omotayo have been short of both of those.
There'll be no power of attorney from me and no more gorram grovelling from you!
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
28 September 2007

Dear Malcolm Reynolds ,
Please to be candid in the name of our Almighty God i'm very honest to you and how can i be dishonest to you while the fund is coming into your account where you will be in position decide to give me or not ,please i will advice you to come down your mind and lets us do this that will be of benefit for both of us.
Please lets do this, only God knows that i paid for a new attorney for this transaction which is barrister Joseph Fredrick and he is also an America citizen as you are. i narated all the details about the former attorney before he suggested the idea so all will not be delayed and that was the reason his charges was very low to me.
Kindly consider me and the money i have spent to make this a sucessful transaction .
I'm expecting your mail and lets the by gone be by gone so we can submitt the account for the transfer.
Regards
Dr. Waliu Ogah

An American lawyer? Is that supposed to mollify Mal?

Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
So Joseph Frederick is an American lawyer? Then why the hell is he (a) so careless, and (b) so leery about sending me a copy of his bar certificate?
And what, precisely, am I supposed to do now?
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
29 September 2007

Dear Malcolm Reynolds ,
Please sir, i will only advice you to send down your account details for submission so that he can forward the application to the central bank to transfer the funds into your account .
For what ever he has done for my own sake kindly forgive and forget so we can work on like a family to achieve this goal.
Expecting your response with the details so i can go and give it him by myself and puts words into him
Regards
Dr. Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
Let's just settle one thing first; aside from his name on the documents, does David Omotayo have ANYTHING to do with this business now?
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah

Desperately, the Lad tries to make peace.

03 October 2007

Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
To be candid with you, barrister David Omotayo is not involved into this transaction anymore and he told me that he has hands off as far as you don't need his service and he is the one that suggested to me that i should go for another attorney, you don't need his service any longer .
Please this anwser is from the bottom of my heart ,kindly change your mind and bring the account details ,so we can process for the transfer because i can not involve myself on what will tarnish my reputation and intergrity of my family name as i told you ealier.
Expecting your urgent response.
Regards
Dr. Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds

Let's give way a little bit...

Dr Ogah,
I'll take your word for it - just don't let me down.
Here are the details.
BANK NAME: National Bank of Australia
BANK ADDRESS: Why do you need this?
ACCOUNT NUMBER: G641 937 914
SWIFT NUMBER: NAT AAU 3303S
ACCOUNT OWNER: Mr Malcolm P Reynolds
ABA NUMBER (IF ANY): I don't know what this is
Back to you.
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
07 October 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
All your banking details you sent was well received and i will work accordinly and i'm promising you that i will not disappoint you because you are a honest gentle man and my spirit told me that you too will not disappoint me .
Sir i inquire from a friend who is a bank manage about the bank address and he told me that they normally need it for them not make a wrong transfer to the customer.
Thanks for your understanding and i still thank you for believing in me and i will be seeing barrister JOSEPH FREDRICK this weekend so he can go with the application next week .
Regards
Dr. Waliu Ogah

And the banker Lad enters the fray!

Dr Mahamadu Bawumia

There is a real Dr Bawumia, a political and financial figure in Ghanaian governance. This is not him. This is a Lad pretending to be him. But you knew that.

09 October 2007

Attn: Malcolm Paul Reynolds
We write to inform you that the application that was submitted by your lawyer BARRISTER JOSEPH FREDRICK (S A B) concerning your awaiting fund was well received And we will get back to you in due time after verify from all our corresponding bank where we have enough fund in our offshore forex we will let you know within the week.
Be expecting our response with our PAYMENT APPROVAL CERTIFICATE.
Thanks for your understanding .
Yours Faithfully,
Dr.Mahamudu Bawumia
Deputy Governor (BOB)
Director of Remittance
Barrister Joeseph Fredrick
10 October 2007

Attn:Malcolm Paul Reynolds ,
I have submitted your application to the bank they will be contacting you on your funds transfer .
Please be communicating to them until your funds entered into your account.
Regards
Barrister Joeseph Fredrick
Senior Advocate of Benin (SAB)
Dr Waliu Ogah
12 October 2007

Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
I have gave all your banking information to the barrister Joseph Fredrick {sab} and he promised me of sending the application yesterday which he later call me and told me that he has submitted the application to the bank .
And from now on on you will be hearing the news about the fund transfer because the bank will be contacting you from time to time and your the only person that will be giving information to me and the update .
Please be close to your computer now for the transfer information and be replying any of their mail. I expecting your update with them.
Regards
Dr. Waliu Ogah

Now to the main goal... not a bad sum for the Lads either.

Dr Mahamadu Bawumia
15 October 2007

Attn: Malcolm Paul Reynolds,
Attached here is the payment instruction and copy ofyour attached copy of your payment approval US$8,200, 000. 00 including your interest which willbe transferred into you account within 48 hours uponreceipt of Central Bank Of Benin for thec Delivery of your DRAFT US$4,420.00 (FOUR THOUSAND FOUR HUNDRED AND TWENTY DOLLARS) which will include authentications and other administrative procedure, this will be sent to via WESTERN UNION and you are advised to forward the payment details to us as follows on confirming your payment details we will Wire your fund into your nominated account within 48 hours of receiving it.
All these arise due to the instruction we received from the PRESIDENCY accordiance with UNITED NATION for us to make sure that all the beneficiaries receives their fund in this last quater of the year.
Sender's Name:?
Sender's Address?
MTCN :
Amount?
Text Question: WHAT FOR
Text Answer: STAMP DUTY FEES
Receiver's Name: MR KELVIN EZE
Receiver's Address: COTONOU - BENIN
Expecting your MTCN or your REFRENCE NUMBER DETAILS confirmation immediately.
Congratulations!!! Congratulations!!! Congratulations!!!
Yours Faithfully,
Dr.Mahamudu Bawumia


From the Desk of Dr Usman Shamshudden???
I've been quiet for a while, so...

Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Bawumia,
Please confirm that you are serious about this message.
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah

That didn't go down well...

16 October 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds ,
Sir what is happenning that i have not hear from you in this respect and i call the lawyer he told me that he inqiure from the bank that they has already wrote you and even send you your payment approval and uptil now you did not keep me inform with update.
Please sir i want to know the update so we can know what to do for them to transfer this fund into your account.
Expecting your response.
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds

And Mal is back, swinging!

Dr Ogah,
I'm afraid that Dr Bawumia must have had a liquid lunch before he sent me his email.
He expects me to send fees by Western Union!
Holy Mother of God and all her little nephews, he's at a bank!
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
19 October 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
Sir what type of mail did he sent to you of requesting you to sent fees through western union money transfer ,-please kindly open up to me so we can know what to do so they can transfer this fund into your account that is my own concern.
Please let me know and i will like you to write to the bank and tell them that you will comply with their directives that they should exercise some patience with you .,so after all the rectification issue with their so call western union which we will not accept that except by any bank account. I expect your urgent response so we can treat this matter with immediate effect for the transfer.
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
The full text of the message to me is attached below.
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
21 October 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
I have gone through what the bank sent to you as you forwarded it to me and I went for inquiry concerning the fees and they told me that is their normal procedure but if we are in doubt about the fees through western union that we can demand for any of their corresponding bank account for the payment that the reason of the western union money transfer is because of the fastest so they can receive it immediately and transfer the fund into your account that at time banks transfer delayed two to three days for confirmation before transfer.
Now this is my finding I will advice you now what do want us to do so we can reciprocate to them so they can transfer the fund into your account now with immediate effect because this has been delayed.
Please think and get back to me so we can know what to do and settle this issue this week so they can transfer this fund into your account this week, I am expecting your urgent response
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
Why are you so insistent on getting this done so fast?
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
24 October 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
when do you want this to be done and concluded ? I'm expecting your urgent response.
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
Don't dodge the gorram question!
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah

He seems to be a tad... unsettled!

24 October 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
Which question i'm dodging to answering you ,while you have ask me a question that demand an answer which you said -!!! Why are i'm so insistent on getting this done so fast? and that is why i ask you back the question when do you want this to be done and concluded ?!!!
Because i don't deserve that question from you after i have borrowed and spend money to make sure that this transaction reach to this extend and you are now asking me this question because you don't know what i encounter in getting money in financing this business to this extent.
And now it has reach to an extend of the bank transfering this fund into your account and you are now putting up this question to me as if i don't know what i'm doing kindly consider your self if you are in my shoe how you will feel because who knows it feels it!!!
I spent the money and i want it to be done very fast so i will pay back all the money i borrowed from people.
Please kindly write to the bank and tell them that we will pay the STAM-DUTY FEES so lets know what we can do to pay it up so they will transfer this fund into your account immediately.
I'M EXPECTING YOUR URGENT RESPONSE
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds

It's slap time!

Dr Ogah,
You could have answered my question in a mature and balanced manner. What I get, instead, is a flatulent outburst of puerile blather.
I expect better from a man of your position.
You answered my question, but in doing so displayed immaturity and petulance that raises serious doubts about your ability to finalise this deal.
I hope this kind of childish tantrum is a one-off aberration, or I might just rethink my participation.
That is all.
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah

He knuckles under rather quickly.

25 October 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
If the way i answered your question is not ok ,please i really tender my applogy to you for that and kindly forgive me and came down your mind so we can finish this once and for all .
Expecting your response so we can know the next step!!!
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
If you'd actually told me, straight out, what the problem was (ie your debts), I'd have understood.
Getting all self-righteous and ranting at me was not a good thing.
Shall we proceed now?
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
29 October 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
In the name of our almighty God i will like us to proceed because who knows it feels it,that is why i tender an apology to you in this respect so you can forgive me in any where i addressed you that you don't like . Please sir, i will advice you to write to the bank and tell them that we will come up with their STAMP-DUTY FEES so they will understand that we are making move to get this fund out so they can transfer it into your account. I really count on you, on this issue please lets do and get this fund out so they will not cancel the payment as if we are not serious .
And i know immediately this fund enter into your account we are going to be bouyant to solve all our financial problems on your own side and on my own side to settle all these debt problems that i'm facing.
I'm expecting your response and your idea on what we are going to do next to get this out.
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Bawumia,
Please confirm the details of the fees that were mentioned in your message from a fortnight ago.
Malcolm Reynolds
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
You'll be happy to know that I've contacted the bank again. You can stop worrying now.
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
31 October 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
For what you have done, that means that you really have a human feelings .
And it shows me that you are a man of great repute and i really appreciates your understanding ,may Almighty God bless you untill we see face to face immediately this fund is transfered into your account . Please kindly follow the Bank directives and be updating me .
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
Dr Bawumia AGAIN asked for payment by Western Union. This time I said OK.
Once I have an invoice we're good to go.
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
03 November 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
Thanks for your update with the bank , lets see and wait for their response in this effect .
Expecting to hear good news from you .
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Dr Mahamadu Bawumia
07 November 2007

Attn: Malcolm Paul Reynolds,
Your mail was well received concerning your payment invoice you are requesting before you can make the payment of your STAMP-DUTY FEES which is us$4,420 .
The attached copy is the invoice as you requested. And you are advice to make the payment through the account officers name as stated below in two instalment of each:
(1) Sender's Name:?
Sender's Address?
MTCN :
Amount:US$2,000
Text Question: WHAT FOR
Text Answer: STAMP DUTY FEES
Receiver's Name: MR KELVIN EZE
Receiver's Address: COTONOU - BENIN
(2) Sender's Name:?
Sender's Address?
MTCN :
Amount:US$2,420
Text Question: WHAT FOR
Text Answer: STAMP DUTY FEES
Receiver's Name: MR KELVIN EZE
Receiver's Address: COTONOU - BENIN
And send the details to us as directed and on confirming the payment details we will wire your fund within 48 hours into your account .
Kindly acknowledge the reciept of this invoice.
Yours Faithfully,
Dr.Mahamudu Bawumia

[Payments possibly divided up to avoid some limit which triggers fraud alerts]

Dr Waliu Ogah
07 November 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
Sir i write to ask you if the bank has sent the invoice to you as you requested .
Please sir update me.
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
They did, but it was totally inadequate.
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
08 November 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
I got your mail ,but what did they sent to you so i will know because what am after is for them to transfer this fund into your account with immediate effect .
Explain to me so we can know what next to do in this respect.
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds

I'll make him sweat a little...

Dr Ogah,
I told them what the problem was. Don't sweat it.
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
09 November 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
Sir please try to understand them as they direct you so they can effect the transfer into your account because that is what i'm after to make sure that they transfer this fund to your account.
Expectiung more update from you
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Dr Mahamadu Bawumia
10 November 2007

Attn: Malcolm Paul Reynolds,
Sorry for all the inconveniences this may cause I just came back this afternoon from a board meeting and ordered for your file on my computer system ,with what I saw I was not happy too as you saw it and it really surprise me due to the kind of invoice he raised for you concerning your payment. But I have serve him an official query for that and kindly bear with me
I will re-sent you ,your PAYMENT INVOICE by self before the days work.
And I still thank you for your understanding.
Dr.Mahamudu Bawumia
Dr Mahamadu Bawumia
11 November 2007

Attn: Malcolm Paul Reynolds,
As i ealier told you that i will send it to you and you should be sorry for what happen and all the inconvinience it may really cause you. And I will kindly advice you to make the payment so i will include your name among the out-going fund on monday.
Please acknowledge the reciept.
Yours Faithfully,
Dr.Mahamudu Bawumia
Malcolm Reynolds

The best slap is to insult one Lad persona to another, knowing that he can't answer back.

Pay attention children! Lesson from a master!

Dr Ogah,
Dr Bawumia needs some remedial training in customer service. The idiot sent me a scan that was too small and told me to make it go right. What the Sam Frick was he thinking? I'm not going to correct his blunders!
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
11 November 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
Letas see there response next week as you have sent the stupid man mail in respect of the correction. Expecting the update from you.
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
I am not impressed with the calibre of those working with you. They can make nothing go right! Is this kind of ineptitude common?
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
12 November 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
Please my brother all the characters can not be the same, what happen is that we have a thing at hand and that is our goal which i know all will be over within the week.
Thanks for the update
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Dr Mahamadu Bawumia

We have another invoice... readable too!

, 12 November 2007

Attn: Malcolm Paul Reynolds,
Sir here is the attached copy as you requested.
Yours Faithfully,
Dr.Mahamudu Bawumia

Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Bawumia,
I should be able to deal with this today or tomorrow.
Regards,
Malcolm Reynolds
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
Dr Bawumia finally came through - third time's the charm I suppose. I should be able to send the money today or tomorrow. I just hope he doesn't mess things up!
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
14 November 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
I done think he will mess up, because the fund has been approved by the minister of finance and presidency for payment .
Thanks for the update
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
I didn't send the money because the Western Union agent advised against it.
To quote his exact words, "No reputable bank uses Western Union ".
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Mahamadu Bawumia
14 November 2007

Attn: Malcolm Paul Reynolds,
We have been expecting your response so that we can include your name among the out-going fund as i yold you ealier ,but uptil now i have been telling our account officer to hold on until we hear from you so they will include your name.
Please if you know that you will not comply with the directives after issuing you what you demand to make sure that is in a normal size as you demand from us ,kindly let us know so i can order our account officer to go on with other transfer.
Expecting your urgent response in this matter.
Yours Faithfully,
Dr.Mahamudu Bawumia
Dr Waliu Ogah

Desperation begins to show...

15 November 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
All you said was well understood ,but what can we do as they are demanding to send the money through that means and we know that we have a very huge amount that is at stake that even all the computer system and on the listed names on the baord which yours is on the list that i even went there last week to see it for my self as i told you before i write you to tell you that even the presidency and minister of finance has been approved this fund for payment.
Please think and know what we can do on this matter or you suggest any alternative means we can pay them this money so they can transfer this fund into your account and i inqiure from one of their staff they said that they normally use this means or a subdiary account but due to the fastest means so they can transfer beneficiaries fund immediately that is the reason the man i ask told me this afternoon . Lets know what to do or we comply with them and i'm 100% assuring you trhat you will not regret doing anything with me because my dreams to you must surely comes true for the investment i will do in your country which you will telegiude me on that .
PLEASE LET ME HEAR FROM YOU SO WE CAN KNOW OUR NEXT STEP!!!
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
If Western Union advises me against sending money, then something is very wrong! I just looked over the documents that you sent me, and it strikes me that there's nothing there that says anything about who you guys are. In fact there is no reference to Dr Ogah or Dr Bawumia.
Something is telling me to be cautious...
I need to be sure of who you both are. I need proof from both of you.
One other point; the certificate of registration that you sent me is marked "Mervyn Ryder" as beneficiary. Who the hell is Mervyn Ryder?
Malcolm Reynolds
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Bawumia,
A Western Union agent advised me not to send you the money as reputable banks don't do business with WU. I've got no choice but to ask you to send me proof of your identity at once.
Two other things - one, I'm not used to bankers giving orders to customers when it should be the other way around; two, why are you in such an all-fired hurry to give money away? First time I ever heard of a bank doing that!
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah

Now he's getting REALLY anxious!

15 November 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
Please sir why is it things is becoming like this after all my trust for you and all my involvement in spending money to make sure that all is achieved and i have borrowed a lot to make sure that all is accomplish as plan and it has reach to an extend of transfer this fund into your account that all this is comming up now .
Now your remembering to ask me my identification which i myself who has been spending money for this peroid has not ask you and i will send it to you as you demand.
Please mind you i don't know who is Dr Bawumia, kindly explain to me and on the documents issue is it not the one that Barrister David Omotayo do, that because of that you terminate his service why are you repeating the same issue again after it has been solved.
Please think if you are in my shoes how you will feel after all i have done to make sure it will benefit both of us and what i'm going through now is the worries of the people that i collected money from hoping that by now all could have been over so we will enter christmas season with good breeze.
Please brother help me nothing is wrong in following the directives of the bank so they can transfer our fund ,Please you should know that western union is not aware of what we are expecting from them is only me and you know our goal and satan is all over want to joepardise this transfer and you should not allow it to come true because is not from God for we the children to suffer.
Incase as you are indoubt about me i will send you my identification even my BRITISH INTERNATIONAL PASSPORT so you can be sure of whom your dealing with and you can send the money to me after ,so i will take it to see Barrister Joseph Fredrick to go and pay it to them in their office by himself so they can release the fund into your account .
Please get back to me because i'm very worried on what is going on at this point in time
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Dr Mahamadu Bawumia

Strangely enough, the banker seems to be a bit twitchy too...

16 November 2007

Attn: Malcolm Paul Reynolds,
Please i told you in the mail i sent to you that you need WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER because of the fastest and to make sure that you meet up with others, or for us to give you an account that will be taken up to three or four working days before it will clear which will cause some delayed as i told you earlier and you later accepted to go on with the W-U.
And you are now telling me that the WESTERN UNION OFFICE advice you that no reputable bank will use it to get such a fees of such amount and you believe that we are telling you lie ,while you are the one that choose it for the fastest means ,so we you can receive the fees immediately and transfer your fund into your nominated account within 48 hours .
Is now i really know who you are because i told my colleague about you when you told me to scan a copy of your invoice as you directed me which i did to you and you are now demanding my identification which i will still send to you as REQUEST.
Please we are in position to instruct our beneficiaries on how to paid them ,not them directing us on what to do because we are not a commercial bank that are looking for a customer because we deals with banks not individual and you should know that we are an apex bank of a nation only that we received instruction from the PRESIDENCY AND MINISTER OF FINANCE to pay all the beneficiaries in the listed names they sent to us and which yours was among. Immediately i got your mail this morning i have ordered them to transfer others and leave yours pending,but with what is coming out from you i will advice you to leave it , so we can take it to our government forex at the end of the year because you are not serious concerning this your fund and any time you remember it is your own business but if we waited at the end of the year it will go as i told you .
Thanks for all your questions and i know i have answered them as you request.
On my leisure i will send you my identification as you request.
Yours Faithfully,
Dr.Mahamudu Bawumia

After these two lengthy missives, it's time for some tough talk and laying down of the rules for our Lads.

Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
Is it MY gorram fault if Western Union tell me something crucial like this? It made me reflect on our exchanges and realize that something was missing. That's what happened!
I've mentioned Dr Bawumia a few times - he's at the Central Bank. Why the hell would you not remember that? It's not like you've got ADD or something like it!
As for the documents - these are the ones that came from Omotayo and Fredricks; they were both signed "Mervyn Ryder", who shares my initials, and ain't that weird?
Yes, I am in doubt. You know what to do.
And I don't know why you're bringing Satan into this - I stopped believing in that Sunday School crap years ago. Evil and Good just are; there are no supernatural beings behind them.
Malcolm Reynolds
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Bawumia,
Here's another thing that makes me wonder; you're in such an all-fired hurry to send this money out. No bank in my experience was ever in such a rush - Apex or not.
I didn't choose Western Union - "you are the one that choose it for the fastest means" - you gorram well insisted that I use it; as you said - "as i told you earlier and you later accepted to go on with the W-U". Hell's teeth, man, think before you type, and don't bullshit me!
And this - "Is now i really know who you are" - what the hell are you on about?
"On my leisure i will send you my identification as you request" - no, you will do it promptly! You accuse me of not being serious, yet you are treating my request as frivolous, which it definitely is not. Are we clear?
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
17 November 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
Please brother i don't know that Dr Bawumia is the Deputy Governor and the Director of Remittance of this country except this time i found out through your mail and my inqiury, please sorry for that. Brother if the ministry did not verify all these Documents upon that the approved your payment in our favour please i will advice you to allow it to be, so we can get this fund out from them. Please kindly believe me in the name of God and that is why i trust you and i don't want any thing that will tarnish the reputation and intergrity i have built for my self and my family name ,please trust me because nothing can get head without having trust on each other that is why i spent and borrow money for this transaction .
And you should know that you are the owner of the account and all the fund will be with you until my arrival to your country for my own share as we agree please don't be in doubt about me because i believe in you and trust in you and my spirit told me that you can not disappoint me, that you are a very good man and my my spirit have not disappoint me before and it can not.
Please brother don't be in doubt about me because of this i don't issue my british passport out to any person , but for the sake of this i will scan it and send to you and i will like to have yours as well.
And even when i will be coming in your country, i will be there with all my family so you will know me more and i know your family as well because i know God must surely help us to understand our self very well and the fund will be in your account as plan.
Now in this situation kindly brief me the update with the bank ,because i know the will not care and we the owner should care because is our money and our time .
Please lets think and know what to do because we are getting very close to the end of the year.
Expecting your response
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
I told you to can the gorram piety - it cuts no ice with me. The more someone spouts on about his faith, the more I figure he's got something to hide. I hope you ain't trying to prove me right! I never asked for your passport, so you have no right to ask for mine. In any event it's a Federal offense to copy a US passport, something I'm sure I mentioned before.
One other thing - you talk about coming to my country - do you mean Australia or the USA?
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
18 November 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
As i promised you yesterday that i will be sending you my international passport ,this is it please kindly keep it for your self because this is what i don't play with ,but because of the confidence you don't have for me , that is to tell you that i need you to built a very full confidence in me so we can achieve a lot on this transaction and after and establish a very good relationship .
Please sir i believe in you and your reputation i will like us to conclude this transaction by next week so they can transfer this fund into your account .
As you you have seen my identification on this matter, i will advice you to send the money to me so i can meet the lawyer with it ,so he can go and make the payment so they can wire the fund to your account because i'm very worried because of the people that i borrowed money from .
And you can make the payment through WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER in the name of my secretary MR.LEO JIDEOFFOR OREKYEH ADDRESS :COTONOU ,BENIN REPUBLIC while the QUESTION: what is your name ANSWER :LEO .
Please if you can do it so he can pick it for me so i will go and see the lawyer so we can go on to the bank for the payments .please i will advice you to think on it and get back to me.
Expecting your response and acknowldgement of this mail.
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah

Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
If you're going to send me a scan of your passport, make the gorram thing large enough. That one doesn't cut it.
I also haven't heard from Dr Bawumia yet, and until I do, nothing is moving.
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Mahamadu Bawumia
19 November 2007

Attn: Malcolm Paul Reynolds,
As you have wrote to us that we are so anciuos by asking you to pay for your fees, so we can transfer your fund because of the last quarter of the year,and all these arised due to the instruction we received by the presidency and minister of finance to make sure that we pay all the listed names that was sent to us which yours was among.
But sir we are very sorry for us to hasting you up for your fund , is because we want to finish your batch and enter into another another batch as i told you ealier.
As you are requesting my personal WORKING ID i hereby enclose my Working ID as you requested and please don't ask for more .and if you like i will still advice to go on and make the payment through this our forex account below and send the payment details to us so we can transfer your fund into your nominated account that is in our computer system.
BYBLOS BANK SAL,
LOUCAIDES BULDING,
1 ARCHBISHOP KYRIANOS STREET,
ST ANDREW,3602 LIMASSOL,CYPRUS.
SWIFT: BYBACY21,
FAVOUR:M.S.LOGISTICS CO,
A/C:950-4901428-001
We are expecting your payment details and on confirming your payment we will transfer your fund with immediate effect as we are directed.
Yours Faithfully,
Dr.Mahamudu Bawumia

Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Bawumia,
That scan is useless! I could print it off and use it as a postage stamp!
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
20 November 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
All you said in your first mail to me was well understood because every human beign has his or her own principle that giude him or her.
On my passport i sent to you i do it so you can have confidence in me and for you to know that i can not betray you in any means because you wanted to assist for the benefit of both of us . Kindly try to understand that was my reason of sending it to you ,and on your own as you said i 100% believe you and on the enlargement of my passport please i don't know how to do it because it was very clear when ever i open it and that is how i know .
Please i will advice you if you can believe in me you can send the fees to me as i directed you so i can go with the lawyer and make sure that they remitt the fund into your account because as we have not hear from Dr Bawumia in this respect he will feel i don't care aptitude because the fund those not belongs to him and they has many beneficiaries to pay in this last quater of the year as i heard because of the coming christmas and holiday is starting next month. Think and suggest what we can do ,because i want this fund to be in your acoount latest by next week.
Expecting your response
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Dr Waliu Ogah

As the Lad's desperation grows, his formatting goes increasingly awry.

21 November 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
Please kindly tell me the update with the condition of things because i want to know if the bank has contacted you ,so i can know what to do on my own side. Because i want to know ,if any way i can assist to raise US$1,000 which a friend has promised me yesterday against tomorrow so i can assist you in paying the fees so you can send the remaining balance so we can go and make the payment through the lawyer here for the transfer of this fund into your account . I'm expecting your urgent response in this matter because i'm in a fix and this will show you that i'm not keeing idle in this matter because i have hope that immediately it reaches your account all will be ok.. Regards Dr.Waliu Ogah

Dr Waliu Ogah
22 November 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds, Please i don't understand you because i was expecting you to send the money across to me here so i will complete it with the one i'm expecting from my friend this evening today which is US$1,000 and which i promised of paying back to him within two weeks . Sir if you want to pay direct to the bank you can go on or you want to pay to through me is still the same what i know is to make sure that they transfer this fund into your account . Expecting your response so i can know the the bank update and your own plan on this issue . Regards Dr.Waliu Ogah

At this point I sign up the Lad for a non-payment method, courtesy of Mr Me of 419 Eater. I haven't included any of the printouts mentioned, to protect the system.

Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
What the Sam Frick have you been doing? I sent you the details for payment - for crying out loud, you're not going to tell me you didn't get it! This is unbelievable.
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
23 November 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds, How are today ? i hope your ok, i write to let you know that my friend that promised me us$1,000 has send it to me yesterday night as he promised me and i;m with it now ,Please i need your response so we can know our next step of action or you go and make the payment to the bank and tell them that your lawyer will bring the balance of US$1,000 so we can go and make the payment to them here or you you send down the remaining so we do it together so they can transfer the fund into your account.
Please i need your urgent response because money and man doesn't stay together because of family problem. Expecting your response.
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
Listen, you stupid little dipshit no-load, I have told you - TWICE - what to do but you gorram well ignore me! I'll tell you again, but for crying out loud, let it be the last!
Go to.... and follow the prompts; I will pay you the balance of the fee when I get word from the company (after you've registered). Now just do - NOW!
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah

The formatting stays askew as the Lad pleads for the old, familiar ways...

25 November 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
Sir i have gone through what you sent to me ,but i have to let you know that Ewestern Union money transfer is not existing in my country. Please i will advice you not to make things very difficult that you should use western union so i can get the money very easy and make the payment to them on monday so they will transfer this awaiting fund into your account. Please go and do it through western union and get back to me with the details. Expecting your urgent response. Regards Dr.Waliu Ogah

As you'd expect, he's not getting it.

Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
Ewestern Union is an on-line payment system, you brainless moron! Which country you're in doesn't matter, for crying out loud! I'm telling you - do as I told you and stop whining at me like some cranky six-year-old!
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
27 November 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
It seems that you don't understand my situation that is why you are delaying this transaction to up to this period because of the STAMP-DUTY fees.
After a lot of thinking concerning your aptitude and i have taken up this decision by contacting my friend who is in London and he has accepted to assist me in paying the money for the fees.
Please i will like you to give me a power of attorney so i will do this business with him so after they remitts the fund into his account i will send some money to you for using your company name for the process. I have discuss with the lawyer which after hearing from you i will tell him to write to the bank for the changing of the account to transfer the fund to london account.
Or you go and make the payment through western union money transfer and send the details to me tomorrow so we make the payment and we use your account or the power of attorney.
Expecting your urgent response.
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
I'm not delaying or holding back. The money is ready to be paid as soon as you do your part and log on the Ewestern Union site. I don't know why you're carrying on like some limp-dick girlie-man because all the details are there for you to follow.
I will say this - unless you do as I tell you, then this is over, and you and your friend in London can go fish up a tree for all I care; and you will never get a power of attorney out of me because I've done nothing wrong by you.
I suggest you choose wisely.
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
27 November 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
I will like you to understand that you can not be in AUSTRALIA and be in BENIN i will be in position to tell you the easiest way of transferring money and it will be easy for collection here .
Please i can not accept any more directives from you concerning your so call Ewestern Union money transfer that i know they doesn't operate in my country .except western union money transfer or you leave it, and you should know that you have been pushing me to the wall to go against my wish . Kindly go and make the payment today if you really know that you have the money with you and send the details to me so i will go with the lawyer for the processing of the fund into your account or you forget about the business and i will do my personal wish to get this fund out with another person account.
I need your urgent response because there is no time left because i learn't by next week the bank are closing payment for the year.
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
One last time - Ewestern Union operates worldwide because it's an online service. If you'd gone to the site I linked, then you'd have seen that. You know nothing about it, and don't try to tell me otherwise!
I don't think there's someone else - I think your stupid pride is pushing you into making a dumbass decision. It's up to you now.
Go to Ewestern Union or kiss this deal goodbye.
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
28 November 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
Please i still insist that we don't have it here in REPUBLIC OF BENIN and you should know that if it exist i will prefer it than the western union but due to is not in a existance.
Please use western union and do this so we can conclude this once and for all because i don't want to do what my conscience will blame me because i believe in nemesis. And you should know that since we started this i have never use any insaultive word to you ,but you have been throwing it on me which i have been tolerating from you so all will be ok but if you decide that you can not help again any way i will still thank you for your less contribution towards this.
Assist me so we can conclude this transaction that will benefit both of us.except you want us to part that way by using another person to finish what we started.
And if i waited till tomorrow and i 100% believe that God will not blame me for any of decision.
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
DID YOU USE THE LINK I SENT YOU? Yes or No? If no, then here it is again, for the THIRD time:... I have told you, several times now, that Ewestern Union is an online service. IT EXISTS WHEREVER THERE IS AN INTERNET CONNECTION. Holy Mother of God and all her little nephews, I can't put it any simpler than that!
You haven't insulted me directly, true - but I'm using insults the way I'd swear at some inanimate object that won't perform to specs. Believe me, considering the language I heard (and used) in the Corps, you're getting off lightly.
Now get on with it, haul ass, and stop being such a gorram waste of space!
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
29 November 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
Sir i have done it as you said, i got the sight... but they fail to register me here according to my secretary ,but please i will like you to register me over there with this email address below loe_jideoffor@yahoo.com the name of my secretary who will pick it up and i use my wife name hellen as the password and get back to me with the details.
so it will be very easy because the sight is not going through here. Please kindly assist me and i will be very greatfull and sorry for all these i have a dream that really tells me that you are a very good person to deal with. Expecting your response for the assistance and thanks for your understanding
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah

He misprints the Lad's email address; that is going to come in useful.

Malcolm Reynolds
Mr Jideoffor,
Dr Waliu Ogah gave me this address to use in a money transfer. Please confirm the spelling of your name. I will also need your telephone number as part of the process.
Malcolm Reynolds
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
Unless you can give me a valid email address, there's no point in asking me to do your Ewestern Union registration. It's a gorram simple process - IF you do it right!
So either you get me the right details or you do it your gorram self, do you understand?
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
01 December 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
Sir sorry for all these while i have gone to the sight by myself and i have done it as you said... That was what they wrote there and i can now acess the mail box as a registered member ,you have thought me what i don''t know that means that everyday is school as one adage said ,.
And please don't be offeded on the email address that was open it was when received your mail that i came to understand that it was not correct insted of leo_jideoffor@yahoo.com and he put loe_jideoffor@yahoo.com that was the mistake and the password is still hellen.
LEO JIDEOFFOR OREKYEH he is my personal secretary and you can go and make the payment online as you said because i have been managing to make sure that i did not touch the
US$1,000.00 I borrowed from a friend hoping to pay him back next week as i promised him. Kindly do it and let me know so he can go and pick it up and by monday i will go with lawyer to make the payment on your behalf and i will make sure that i receive a payment receipt from them and i will send it accross to you .
So they can wire this awaiting fund into your account immediately.
Expecting your response.
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
I've paid the money in, so it's over to you now. By the way - an apology would be the proper thing for you to offer after all the doubt you threw up at me! Isn't that so?
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
02 December 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
I have seen what you sent and it was ok and i have acess it and i saw the money paid yesterday and i really thanks you for your word and i will be sending MR LEO for it first thing on monday morning for the western union and i will be updating you sir.
Thanks the ball is on my court to make sure that they transfer the fund this coming week.
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Dr Waliu Ogah

Things ain't going right...

02 December 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,

I just log and this is the result:
My account at the sight Account Holder leonard jideoffor Net Balance $4500
Applicable transaction charges and fees - $116 Accumalative weekly tax (5%) - $219.2
Resultant Balance $4164.8 Withdrawal Threshold $15000 Make a withdrawal by bank transfer? Make a withdrawal with Western Union?
Make a withdrawal with check?
Sir i have click the three above and the result is :
SORRY Your account balance ($4164.8) is too high to qualify for the $0 withdrawal threshold, but below the government-issued threshold of $15000. Please increase your balance before attempting to withdraw your money
Click here to return to your account
Withdrawal failed, code 39FG159
Please sir i will like you to assist me by clicking on it on western union and look if it can be acesss and send me the details so this MR LEO will go for it as plan because i have call the lawyer and told him that he will assist to me to go to CBB HEAD QUARTER on onday for the payment and he has accepted. Expecting the details from you and thanks may God bless you.because i know he will put a smile on our face in this season.
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
I suggest you contact Ewestern Union and ask them to lower the threshold. I have no idea how that was set, or what to do about it. You'd better do it soon!
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
03 December 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,

Please kindly go through the details on the western union side and click there and furnish me with the information as stated for the claim because it is very diffcult to open here.
Please i need the followings so we can get this money and pay for the fees so they can transfer this fund into your account within the week:
Receivers name
Text question
Answer
MTCN number
I really need this from you so we can get this money because the laqwyer is waiting for me this morning to go to the bank as plan .
I'm expecting your response with the withrawal details.
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
Why the hell are you asking me to do that? I've got no control over Ewestern Union and their techniques! All I can suggest is that you go via the contact option on their site - I'm sure they'll have support staff who can put you straight, and it's better by far if you do it now.
Malcolm Reynolds.
Dr Waliu Ogah
04 December 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,

Sir i told you ealier concerning this process you told me it is a very easy and convinience to transfer money and now you have been seen that the process is nothing to talk about which they later refer us to the same western union which they can not log us in to collect the money .
Please i will advice you to call off the money back and resend it through the western union direct so we can get this money and pay for the fees because as of now i don't know what to do and i have been managing for me not to touch this US$1000 so i will not make use of it until this business is finalize.
Try and do it today even if the money is short i will replace it so everything will be finalize this week.
Expecting your response.
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
Did you contact Ewestern Union's support people? Holy Mother of God and all her little nephews, it ain't that hard a question!
If you haven't, I'd like to know why not.
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
05 December 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,

I have done it several times and there is no good response and i even call on the telephone number which is UK: ....
Sir i done it as i can and you can even try it by your selfso you will understand what i'm talking because it seems that the people are very funny with their system to extort money from people . Please sir if you try you did not get it i will advice you to go their payment office where you make this payment and collect your money by yourself and transfer it through WESTERN UNION ONLINE OR MONEY GRAMME as i directed you before.
Please i'm expecting your response
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah, What exactly did they tell you? I can't give any advice until I have all the facts! Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
06 December 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
Sir below is what the they tell me immediately i log in to any of these: Make a withdrawal by bank transfer? Make a withdrawal with Western Union? Make a withdrawal with check?
Please kindly go through it and come up with your advice as you suggest. Expecting your urgent response in this respect.
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
---
SORRY Your account balance ($4164.8) is too high to qualify for the $0 withdrawal threshold, but below the government-issued threshold of $15000. Please increase your balance before attempting to withdraw your money Click here to return to your account
Withdrawal failed, code 39FG159
SORRY Your account balance ($4164.8) is too high to qualify for the $0 withdrawal threshold, but below the government-issued threshold of $15000. Please increase your balance before attempting to withdraw your money
Click here to return to your account
Withdrawal failed, code 39FG159
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
That's not what I asked. Hell, you told me all that before! What I meant was, what did they tell you when you rang the contact number supplied?
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
07 December 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,

Sir i have tried the telephone number and it will ring without any response and at times it will not ring it and said that the number is not in use.
Please lets stop all this delay kindly go to the company and get your money from them because they are no serious with their net work.and find a means to pay it direct to the WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER.
eXPECTING YOUR ACTIONS AND YOUR RESPONSE
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds

I cc Doctor Ogah on a letter from "Loe Jideoffor".

Mr Jideoffor,
I suggest that you get in touch with Ewestern Union and settle this confusion. It's not Dr Ogah's account, it's yours.
Regards,
Malcolm Reynolds

Dr Waliu Ogah
08 December 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,

Sir nothing concern MR JIDEOFOR in this because he is only my personal assistance that i only want to use his name to get this money for the fees which himself don't know what the money is mean't for .
Please kindly go with the recommendation as you plan by paying it direct through western union money transfer as i stated it to you ealier .
Expecting your response on your payments details.
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah

A fake message from "Loe Jideoffor" follows...

FAKE Loe Jideoffor
08 December 2007

Atn: Mr Malcolm Reynolds
Sir i was not abel to do as you sugested with ewstern union and my boss Dr Ogah is corect we canot go in liek this pleaase send the fee via western union money transfer qickly as we are runing out of tiem. man to send it to us my casher detials for you are
senders name
senders adrres
MTCN
Amount - US$1000
Test q - what fdor
anser - fees
recevers name - lucky adiowho
recever adresss - c/274 scoa gbetto cotonou benin republic
please hury as we have not time left
leo jideoffor
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
It would have been great if you'd set this a bit sooner - and if you'd briefed Mr Jideofor a bit more thoroughly! He replied this morning, and I decided that you were both right, so I sent the money just over an hour ago and the details to him when I got back. It'll be OK now.
I wrote a letter of complaint to Ewestern Union and told Mr Jideofor to have the money in their control released back to me.
Keep me posted.
Malcolm Reynolds
Loe Jideoffor Orekyeh

Leo Jideoffor is quick to contact Mal...

08 December 2007

Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Sir all has been tried to make sure that i get the money for my boss and the response are all the same. have contacted them several times with my boss and excatly what my boss told you is a exactly their response . But my boss called me some hours ago that you have corrected it and sent the details to me on my mail box but unfortunately i came i did not see any thing apart from the below mail, please sir i did not receive any mail apart from the one below and this is my first time to write you because he said that i wrote you this morning which i myself know that i have not communicate to you before this ismy first mail to you . Sir check very well may be you made a mistake and sent it to awrong address, sir please rectify it so i can be safe because my boss these days is not happy about the cause of all this delayed. Kindly do it to save me and my job.
Yours Sincerely
Mr.Jide Ofor .O
Malcolm Reynolds

But not quick enough!

Mr Jideoffor,
I don't understand what you're getting at. You contacted me! I sent the money as you asked! Are you playing some gorram double game with me and your boss? If you screwed us over you'd better find some deep hole to hide in, you frog-humping sonofabitch!
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
08 December 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
I have call my P/A and he told me that he has check his mail box that he did not see any payments details from you and that you still direct him to make another inqiury that we have been making on this matter. And he really honestly told me that he did not write any mail to you before apart from the one he is sending to you today. Sir withdraw this money and make the payment through western union with my P/A name and you should know that this week is gone and there is no time and should know that you are really frustrating me concerning this transaction andi will likeyou to think if you are in my shoe how you will feel all these days with the idea you are suggesting to me that hasnot been working all these days.
Kindly so we can know where we are going to.
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
I'd take a good long look at your Leo Jideoffor if I were you; he sent me a reply and gave me payment details. I sent $1000 by Western Union, as requested. And now he's telling you, and me, that he knows nothing about it? That little maggot is a gorram liar! I do as you want, and all you can do now is find new ways to piss me off! Are you some sort of freak who gets his rocks off mindfucking people? Unless you can give me some positive news, don't bother replying.
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
08 December 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
I just receiuve your mail please if you have made the payment as you said please call it back as hesaid he did not receive any money . Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
He's bullshitting you. Show him this and he'll fold, the little dickwad.

Atn: Mr Malcolm Reynolds
Sir i was not abel to do as you sugested with ewstern union and my boss Dr Ogah is corect we canot go in liek this pleaase send the fee via western union money transfer qickly as we are runing out of tiem. man to send it to us my casher
detials for you are
senders name
senders adrres
MTCN
Amount - US$1000
Test q - what for
anser - fees
recevers name - lucky adiowho
recever adresss - c/274 scoa gbetto cotonou benin republic
please hury as we have not time left
leo jideoffor

Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah

Despair must have hit fast...

10 December 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,
As you said you have sent the money and he told me that he did not receive any money please i want you to give me the MTCN so i will find out the truth of what is really happening.
And give me the details information you give to him.
Expecting your urgent response because i know this week no matter what i will make sure that this transaction is concluded.
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Loe Jideoffor Orekyeh
10 December 2007

Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Sir the mail is not from me.
Regards
Leo
Malcolm Reynolds
Mr Jideoffor,
You are a sad, lying, pathetic little thieving liar! Why did you do it? I hope Dr Ogah hands you over to the cops.
Malcolm Reynolds
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
Here's the message he sent me; any more damnfool questions?
Malcolm Reynolds

> Leo Jideoffor Orekyeh <leo_jideoffor@yahoo.com> wrote:
> Atn: Mr Malcolm Reynolds
> Sir i was not abel to do as you sugested with ewstern union and my boss
> Dr Ogah is corect we canot go in liek this pleaase send the fee via
> western union money transfer qickly as we are runing out of tiem. man to
> send it to us my casher
> detials for you are
> senders name
> senders adrres
> MTCN
> Amount - US$1000
> Test q - what for
> anser - fees
> recevers name - lucky adiowho
> recever adresss - c/274 scoa gbetto cotonou benin republic
> please hury as we have not time left
> leo jideoffor

Dr Waliu Ogah

Dr Ogah opts for righteous indignation...

11 December 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,

You told me that you has made the payment US$1000 instead of three thousand plus as we agree through the details my P/A whom you said that forwarded another name to you without confirming from me that means that you are a lier.
This is man the whom i have worked with for all most ten years now that you want me to cruxifix him for what he did not do that means that you are not what i expected you to be.
Please i have seen where you are heading to now what i want you to know is that if you are still interested in this transaction i will advice you to go and withdraw your money you said that made through your so call eastern union make the payment to western union money transfer from now till tomorrow or else the man that started the journey will also knows how to end it with a solution without any power of attorney from you .
And make sure that you do it as i directed you and send the details to me and stop telling me lier to put an inocent man into trouble.
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Malcolm Reynolds

Mal doesn't accept that!

Doctor Ogah,
Listen up and listen good, asshole - I'm a Southerner, and that means when you call me a gorram liar, it's game over. So you can take this gorram business and shove it clean up your fat ass, and I hope you squeal like a pig, BOY!
Power of attorney - well, it'll be a cold day in hell, with Satan going snowboarding, before I do you any favours.
I may be down a thousand bucks, but at least my honor is intact and my conscience is clear.
Malcolm Reynolds
Loe Jideoffor Orekyeh
12 December 2007

Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Sir let me tell you as you have decided to liar against me so therefore the living God we all are serving will still find you where ever you to locate for your own purnishment to tell you that you are dealing with an innocent man .
And you don't know that this is man i have worked with for all most ten and half years now that you want me to leave without my pension .
I have told you several times that the mail is not from me and upon that you don't want to put the MTCN number for security verifications .
All your plan ,you can try it somewhere else.
Now i know you don't have money because i told my boss as far as you have decided to send the money through your ew-stern union and leave western union that you are not a genuine man to deal with and i thank God he has seen that you don't have money that you are just pretending as you have not knowing you. Come to Cotonou you can ask about my family we are a very streight people not criminally manded as you are.
All these is happening because i don't know what my boss see in you to do something I don't know with you .
Yours Sincerely
Mr.Jide Ofor .O
Malcolm Reynolds

This particular anecdote has been used before, but it never goes stale.

Mr Jideoffor,
Just wake up and smell what you're shovelling, you sad, whining little sack of shit!
What plan do you think I have? What can I get out of this? I'm down a thousand bucks - do you think I like losing money?
All this piss and wind just proves what a slimy little rat you are.
I'll leave you with this. In Somalia in 1993 the Marine Company that I commanded surprised sixty militiamen who were plundering relief supplies intended for refugee children.
I confronted one militiaman who dropped his AK-47 and smiled at me - he believed I'd spare his life.
He was wrong.
I was carrying an M-4 Masterkey, an assault carbine with an underslung shotgun barrel that's used to blow open locked doors; I shot him in the face with the shotgun and destroyed his head completely.
If you were here now, I would do that to you, without hesitation.
Malcolm Reynolds
FAKE Loe Jideoffor

A quick fake Lad message might stir the pot a little.

U SMALL BOI I CHOP UR DOLLA AN U GOT NOTTING
DAT RENOLDS MAGA TINK U STOL HIS MONI -- U BIGTAIM LOOSER
WAHT U DO NOW

Dr Mahamadu Bawumia

A new character enters the fray.

14 December 2007

Attn:Malcolm Paul Reynolds,
we the management has decided that as from 14th till 19th of next week that any beneficaries who did not comply with the directive to get his fund for this last quarter payment of the year will have to leave it till 2007

first quater because the management will stop paying any out-standing fund to the beneficiaries at the above date because we are closing payment for the year Please kindly bear with us and we thank you for your understanding.
We wish you happy christmas and properous new year!!!!
Yours Faithfully,
Dr.Mahamudu Bawumia
Dr Mahamadu Bawumia

Suddenly, the Lads plug in a new modality!

15 December 2007

Attn:Malcolm Paul Reynolds,
This late afternoon we received a letter from your attorney that you athourized us to make a payment to one MR ABDUL RAHMAN BIN MUSAH OF MALAYSIA citizen with his banking details that is with us .
We write to comfirm from you before we can make the effect the transfer into his nominated account as stated because we want to rectify ISSUES that is why we told them to hold for the STAMP-DUTY FEES they send the details to us that is from malaysia .
Yours Faithfully,
Dr.Mahamudu Bawumia
Malcolm Reynolds

Well, it's my turn for anger.

Dr Bawumia,
Joseph Fredricks is a gorram liar! I NEVER told him to authorise ANYONE ELSE to take that gorram money!
Any further communications from him are to be disregarded. Is that clear?
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Mahamadu Bawumia
17 December 2007

Attn:Malcolm Paul Reynolds,
Now what do you want us to do as the approved fund has been in our computer system while other beneficiaries whom they approved yours togather has already taken theirs except yours is the one showing sterix.
Please if you know that you are the original beneficiary of they said fund i will advice you to comply with the directives given to you since two months ago on your stamp-duty fees now.
We need urgent response immediately.
Yours Faithfully,
Dr.Mahamudu Bawumia
Deputy Governor (CBOB)
Director of Remittance
24Hours Telephone-Hotline:229-93012282
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Bawumia,
One of Dr Ogah's staff has stolen some of the money intended for those fees. I'm not sure how to resolve the situation.
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Mahamadu Bawumia

Is this Lad is from another team? Or are the Lads just hopelessly confused?

18 December 2007

Attn:Malcolm Paul Reynolds,
Please sir i we don't know anybody by that name Dr Ogah what i will advice you is that if you are the true beneficiary of this fund ,kindly go and make the payment and receive your fund or forfeit it to our government purse.
Please we don't need much of your corresponding s on this matter either you make the payment or and get your fund .
Because your lawyer wrote a letter on the issue which he want us to follow the directives and accept the fees paid by his client MR. ABDUL RAHMAN BIN MUSAH OF MALAYSIA .
And we have invited him in-respect of that.
Yours Faithfully,
Dr.Mahamudu Bawumia
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Bawumia,
I'll tell you again - in BIG letters so that you understand - THAT MALAYSIAN GUY HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ME AND THAT JOESEPH FREDRICKS WHO USED TO BE MY LAWYER IS NOT MY LAWYER AND ANYTHING HE SAYS THAT CLAIMS TO BE FROM ME IS TO BE IGNORED!!!!
Just to clarify - I've cc'd this message to Dr Ogah. Have a word with him. He should have some interesting information for you.
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Waliu Ogah
20 December 2007

Dear Brother Malcolm Reynolds,

I have gone through the mail you sent to me and the one you wrote to my P/A all you said was well understood .
Please what can solve the problem now is for you to go and make the payment to the bank immediately and tell me how much remain to balance up so i can know what to do next .
But i get to let you know that all moves by the lawyer that i'm aware of it and you either do what i told you so we can transfer this fund into your account or you forget about it and after the lawyer meeting with the bank as they schedule i promise you that i will make sure that they accept the MALASIA FRIEND MR ABDUL RAHMAN BIN MUSAH fees and remitt this fund to his account by next week and no matter what it takes me.
This is only what i have for you.
Regards
Dr.Waliu Ogah
Dr Mahamadu Bawumia

He is very, very confused.

20 December 2007

Attn:Malcolm Paul Reynolds,
We have told you that we have gone through your file nobody like DR OGAH as you said who we know is your attorney what i will advice you now is for you to comply and pay the fees immediately so i can use my executive power to transfer this fund into your account so it go on with the out going fund on friday with others.
Or else if the lawyer came to our office as schedule and you who is a foreigner i don't think it will be in your favor i advice you to go to WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER and make the payment today and send the details to me so i will assuring you of transferring the money into your account with immediate effect.
THIS IS MY WORD FOR YOU!!!!
Yours Faithfully,
Dr.Mahamudu Bawumia
Malcolm Reynolds

A slap is in order for the banker.

Dr Bawumia,
Dr Waliu Ogah is not my lawyer! I don't have one, for crying out loud! I told you that several times, so how you can "know who is my attorney" is gorram nonsense! So I will tell you in BIG LETTERS; ANYONE WHO COMES TO YOUR BANK CLAIMING TO BE MY LAWYER IS A GORRAM LIAR! If you don't get that, then I don't know how the Sam Frick you got your job.
FYI, Dr Ogah is the Chairman of the Contract Award Committee of your Federal Ministry of Gold and Mine Resources. You have his email address, and presumably he's in the phone book. He's not my lawyer and never has been. Are we TOTALLY clear?
Malcolm Reynolds.

Ogah needs to be chastised too.

Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Ogah,
Did you arrange that deal with the lawyer? I've told the bank three times now that I never authorized any gorram lawyer to act for me in that way, and I might as well be shouting into a hurricane for all the good it does.
If you did, and that's why they're playing up this transfer, then the deal is off.
I don't take kindly to being jerked around by some lard-assed jack-in-office REMF who never carried a rifle for his country, and who never took a bullet so that starving children could receive food and medicine.
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Mahamadu Bawumia
20 December 2007

Attn:Malcolm Paul Reynolds,
We have gone through your payment file all was endorsed through your attorney but as you have said i will believe you but i will still advice you to come down here or you comply with directives so we can wire your fund into your account.
Please i don't have much to say ,i has a lot on my table .
Yours Faithfully,
Dr.Mahamudu Bawumia
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Bawumia,
I've got no confidence in what any so-called attorney gave you since I fired both of them. Please forward my details for confirmation.
BTW - I don't give a hairy rat's butt about your gorram business lunches. Just get those details to me ASAP.
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Mahamadu Bawumia
21 December 2007

Attn:Malcolm Paul Reynolds,
We have gone through your payment file all was endorsed through your attorney but as you have said i will believe you but i will still advice you to come down here or you comply with directives so we can wire your fund into your account.
Please i don't have much to say ,i has a lot on my table .
Yours Faithfully,
Dr.Mahamudu Bawumia
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Bawumia,
I was told by Dr Ogah (NOT my attorney, remember) that some of the money had already been paid. Please confirm how much is still owing.
As regards my request for information, and your answer - with respect, bullcrap. Your directives apply to the money transfer - not what's on my file. I expect to be told what information those two bozos may have placed on my record, and no gorram bluster on your part should make a lick of difference! Are we clear now?
Regards,
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Mahamadu Bawumia
22 December 2007

Attn:Malcolm Paul Reynolds,
Please we did not receive any part payment money concerning this fees since it has been issue to you. Please kindly go through the amount and make the exact payment through western union money transfer ,so we can transfer your fund with other out-going funds.
All you said concerning the two lawyers has been noted .and we will not communicate them again.
We are expecting your payment details so we can make the transfer and give you your payment slip.
Yours Faithfully,
Dr.Mahamudu Bawumia

Bawumia sounds desperate. Maybe it's time to build up his hopes.

Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Bawumia, All right, it's done as you requested, sent to Kelvin Eze using the Q&A protocol and other details that you requested. I'll be out of town and therefore out of touch until Boxing Day. I expect to hear good news by then. Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Mahamadu Bawumia
23 December 2007

Attn:Malcolm Paul Reynolds, I told you to sent your payment details to us here so our account officer MR KELVIN EZE will go and pick it up ,so i can issue you ,your payment receipt and authenticate your fund into your nominated account within 48 hours of receiving your STAMP-DUTY FEES. Please i will advice you to send the details to us here if not you have yourself to blame ,if you have send it to the wrong person. Because i will sign for the endorsement and ordered him for the picking it up in WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER OFFICE here. But now all is late today and we will be expecting it from you so he can pick it up on Monday and i work for the endorsement so it may move out very late on the Monday evening so by Friday it will be in your account. Yours Faithfully, Dr.Mahamudu Bawumia
Dr Mahamadu Bawumia
23 December 2007

Attn:Malcolm Paul Reynolds,
Please fill the following with question mark as stated:
Sender's Name:?
Sender's Address?
MTCN : ?
Amount:US$4,420
Text Question: WHAT FOR
Text Answer: STAMP DUTY FEES
Receiver's Name: MR KELVIN EZE
Receiver's Address: COTONOU - BENIN
Expecting your urgent response.
Yours Faithfully,
Dr.Mahamudu Bawumia
Deputy Governor (CBOB)
Director of Remittance
24Hours Telephone-Hotline:229-93012282
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Bawumia,
I was expecting good news but all I'm getting is dead air. What happened? If you screwed this up I am going to be so pissed off!
Malcolm Reynolds

At the time of writing, the MTCN wasn't needed for a WU collection.

Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Bawumia,
I don't know what the hell you're up to, but you don't need any of that extra info to pick up a Western Union payment.
What's your game? Don't let me down - I mean it!
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Mahamadu Bawumia
27 December 2007

Attn:Malcolm Paul Reynolds,
I have gone through your two mail you sent to us i will like you to understand that all over the world before you pick any money from any WESTERN UNION OFFICE that you must has the the following details especially {MTCN} MONEY TRANSFER CONTROL NUMBER which is very important so we can get it and issue you your payment receipt and transfer your fund into your nominated account because all these are causing delay.
Please fill the following with question mark as stated:
Sender's Name:?
Sender's Address?
MTCN : ?
Yours Faithfully,
Dr.Mahamudu Bawumia
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Bawumia,
You do not need the MTCN for pickup. I checked the WU website and asked the agent down at the post office. Both confirmed that detail.
I've already had a thousand bucks go missing and I don't want to have over four grand vanish into the blue - so pick up the money ASAP or it comes right back.
Malcolm Reynolds.
Dr Mahamadu Bawumia
28 December 2007

Attn:Malcolm Paul Reynolds,
Please let me tell you if know that you can not send the details of the payment you make which is the {MTCN}MONEY TRANSFER CONTROL NUMBER which is very important for every western union money transfer i will advice you not to communicate to this office in-respect of your funds transfer.
MTCN
And i will advice you if the board know all these from you they will decide to cancel this your payment .
Yours Faithfully,
Dr.Mahamudu Bawumia
Dr Mahamadu Bawumia
28 December 2007

Attn:Malcolm Paul Reynolds,
WE NEED THIS TO PICK IT UP {MTCN} MONEY TRANSFER CONTROL MUMBER. Yours Faithfully,
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Bawumia,
I don't know why you're insisting on something that Western Union itself states isn't true.
Are you delusional, or on drugs perhaps?
Malcolm Reynolds
Malcolm Reynolds
Dr Bawumia,
I recalled the money from Western Union and so I guess our business is over - finito - at an end. Have a really shitty life.
Malcolm Reynolds

That ended it...


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