A BLESSING IN DISGUISE

From the Great Dane comes a tale of Malcolm Reynolds!

The vulnerable Miss Blessing Paul, another young soul tragically orphaned by the brutal war in Sierra Leone, looks to the tough yet warm-hearted ex-soldier Malcolm Reynolds for succour in her hour of need... Not the right person to contact with a scam leeching off the real-life tragedy of the Sierra Leone war - or, to put it another way; boy, did she get a wrong number!

The Scammers
(Names in plain boldface denote inactive characters)
Miss Blessing Paul, "the only daughter of late George Paul... a Gold and Diamond merchant based in Freetown Sierra-Leone", now living in Benin.
Alex Aimuamwosa, Blessing's Western Union identity
Anthony Wells (or Sir Anthony Wells), "a very hnonest and capable person" - but with an arrogant streak
Lucky Adiohwo, Anthony Wells' Western Union identity
Abdul Kabiru of the Royal Precious Security Company
Edafe George, barrister
Alex Aimuamwosa, Edafe George's Western Union identity (yes, you read that right, that Lad is moonlighting)

The Baiter
Malcolm Reynolds, former US Marine, now an aspiring airline executive, living in Central Australia; based on the main character from Joss Whedon's series Firefly.
Inara and Jayne are Malcolm's girlfriend and an old Corps buddy, respectively; both are also characters from Firefly.
Jubal Early, another old Corps buddy and also a character from Firefly

Western Union makes its customary appearance - not that anyone's surprised.

Inspiration and some dialogue supplied by Jack Nicholson's Colonel Jessup in A Few Good Men.




It was a day like any other, when...

Miss Blessing Paul

20 July 2006

Dear One,
It is my pleasure to acquaint you with this proposal for the purpose of investment in your company. I am Miss Blessing Paul the only daughter of late George Paul from Sierra Leone. My late father was a Gold and Diamond merchant based in Freetown Sierra-Leone. As a result of the political instability of Sierra-Leone, my late father came to Cotonou Benin republic with the sum of USD12,500,000.000(US$12.5m) which he deposited in a Financial and Security Institution here in Cotonou Benin Republic West Africa for security reasons I am here seeking for an avenue to transfer this money to a reliable and trustworthy individual for investment programmes.
I am here as a refugee because of the political crisis in my Country Sierra Leone. Please I would offer you 20% of the total sum of USD12.5m for your assistance. Please I need to transfer this money urgently because delay would not help at all and I need to relocate based on the political instability in this sub-region, to enable me continue my education because i was medical student before the sudden of my father.
Your immediate response would be appreciated.
Best Regards
Miss Blessing Paul.
Pls:Do reply to my alternative direct email:blessing_p2@latinmail.com for more details.



Bait the hook and cast...

Malcolm Reynolds

Dear Miss Paul,
This sounds like a terrible situation. What happened to your family?
My company hasn't yet been incorporated, so I don't really know if I can honestly suggest investment in it. I will help you all I can though.
Let me know what I can do.
Regards,
Malcolm Reynolds



Gotcha!
The Ladette attaches a small pic of a young lady.


Miss Blessing Paul

20 July 2006

Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
I have read your reply to my letter to you requesting your co-operation with me in claiming and investing my funds overseas. I can understand you needed complete details or steps whereby you can proceed in handling this for me. Without wasting time due to my situation here at the moment, I will like you to know the requisition is as follows.
1. Like I did mention in my letter, the money has been carefully packaged during the time of depositing it in Royal Precious Security Company for safe keeping in a vault holding company in Benin by my late Father Mr. George Paul.
2. During the Crisis in my Country Sierra Leone i lost every body left alone,I was able to manipulate through United Nations peace keeping force to run into safety into Republic of Benin Refugee Camp. No one else is aware of this deposit and for this reason, I request your urgent move to claim the deposit and move the cash into your bank for any lucrative investments that will be fast growing.
3. It is well in they name of God my lawyer has promise to take all responsibility to secure all the legal claim documents, bearing your name as my foreign investor manager in position to put claim on the deposited consignment in your favour.
4. The only responsibility you will take is the Security Company Clearance fee to endorse the change of ownership to your name, from the Royal Precious Security Company for onward transfer of the said fund to your nominated bank account.
5. I need you to stand as a trustee to the deposit fund, also want you to secure a resident permit for me to come over to your country to further my education upon transfer is carry out to your bank account.
If you are capable to handle this transcation confidential with me as you may know i am hiding my identity from the authorties for them not to confisicate my life inheritance back to Sierra Leone kindly furnish below information.
a). Scan international passport or driver's license
b). Contact address
d). Bank details
c). Private phone and Fax number
d). Occupation
6. This information will used by lawyer to secure the claim documents from Ministry of Justice and High Court of Benin enabling you for the claim .
7. Enclose are my lawyer contact information's to enable you establish contact with him.
Barrister Anthony Wells
Telephone: +229-97-22-39-54
Fax: +229-21-31-88-10
Email:akwabachambers101@yahoo.com
8. Please sir do call my lawyer on receipt of this email I have discuss with him about you and he is waiting for your call, do let me know your discussion with him by email.
10. To facilitate the claim because I am willing to complete my study, as I was a medical student in my country before the war break out which lead to the killing of my family, present I am here in the Benin Refugee Camp all my hope depend on the deposit fund in custody of the Security company, please try and see what you can do fast to rescue me from the stress so that I will join you in your country to start new life once again.
11. Attached is my picture, in your next mail i will forward the Certificate of Deposit
Receipt of payment During the time of deposit by my late father, AIC, and WILL Testament, please you should keep these documents secret until the consignment is release to you for my safety please, based on trust I am sending to you my life documents.
My best wishes.
Miss. Blessing Paul





A slight hint on 'my' military past, and we're good to go.

Malcolm Reynolds

Dear Miss Paul,
I'll do my best. As an ex-Marine, I'd offer nothing less.
Just before I contact your lawyer - what's he like? Is there any topic that's off limits?
Malcolm Reynolds



Several bulky 'legal documents' arrive.

Miss Blessing Paul

21 July 2006 Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Warm greeting to you Sir,
I am sincerely grateful to your urgent response to my mail, like I did mention I have introduce you to my lawyer as my legal foreign investor manager in position to put claim on the deposit consignment on my behalf.
My lawyer is very much convince to take the necessary step forward based on my discussion with him about, when contacting my lawyer I will please advice you to kindly address your letter to him instruct him to proceed towards the procurement of documentation on your behalf, there is nothing mush of limit just for him to help us process the legal claim documents from the Ministry in charge of the release documents.
Sir, attached is the documents documents for your peruse, I am sending these documents to your attention believing you will not let me down, as you can see that these said deposit documents is all my life inheritance, I will be glad if you keep these documents top secret until the change of ownership is endorse to your name as the claim beneficiary.
If you are beat rail by relative the next person you will trust is a stranger, in that case I am putting all my trust and hope in you believing you will never disappoint me now or in the future, as I which to establish long lasting relation ship with you provided you will keep this transaction top secret for my safety please.
I love to stop here waiting to hear from you as soon as you speak with my attorney for directive as he is with the mandate to effect transfer via legal cannel to you without unforeseen problems. Please do make sure you send the below information to my lawyer and copy me.
a). Scan international passport or driver's license
b). Contact address
d). Bank details
c). Private phone and Fax number
May the peace of God guide you and your firm family house old
Yours Daughter
Miss. Blessing Paul











Malcolm Reynolds

Dear Blessing,
I'll do that.
There are a couple of problems that have to be ironed out, but I'll take them up with Tony Wells.
Take care.
Malcolm



Now she's "My daughter". I sometimes wonder if there's a section in the Mugu Manual for when to do that...

Miss Blessing Paul

21 July 2006

Dear Malcolm Reynolds,
Warm greeting,
Thanks for your response to my email, I wait to hear from you as soon as you discuss with my legal practitioner as you did mentioned.
Please have you contact my lawyer yet,
I am in a bad shape here in the Refugee Camp need your urgent attention to have peace upon successful claim is carried out to your bank account, please do let me know today as soon as you call my lawyer after my discussion with him he is waiting to hear from you along your information to enable him commerce on the procurement of the legal claim documents from the Ministry In charge on your behalf.
Waiting to hear from you Sir,
May the peace of the Lord guide you and your family house old
Yours Daughter
Miss. Blessing Paul



OK, bring on the lawyer.

Malcolm Reynolds

Dear Mr Wells,
I have been directed to make with contact you by Ms Blessings Paul, who has identified you as her lawyer. Please confirm this.
Regards,
Malcolm Reynolds
Malcolm Reynolds

Dear Blessing,
Did that, no reply yet. If he takes any more time I'll remind him that you're in a refugee camp and that he should shift his ass for you.
BTW, how old are you? You're signing "your daughter" now you see...
Take care,
Malcolm Reynolds



Someone closed down the lawyer's email address! I wonder just how that came about...?

Miss Blessing Paul

23 July 2006

Dear
Warm greeting to you,
Thanks for your email, please be informed that i made a mistake in givin you my lawyer id, here is the correct Id E-mail:akwabachambers103@yahoo.com please note that confusion and stress hastaking over me here in the cam, i call my lawyer he said he did not get the email that is wron Id he gave me the above is the correct one to reach him
Regards to your question, i am 23 yrs old please do your best as fast as possible to recus me from the bad shape please.
Regards
Miss Blessing Paul



Malcolm Reynolds

Blessing,
I'll try him on the new address.
So you're 23, huh? Well, to be honest, I don't remember having that much of a good time when I was fifteen...
Take care,
Malcolm



Miss Blessing Paul

25 July 2006

Dear Malcolm,
Warm greeting to you,
Thanks for your kind response to my email, please reach him on the email sent to you urgent because my lawyer is a very busy lawyer here.
Please do try and follow the instruction from my lawyer, he is a very hnonest and capable person whom i know he will assist us for the documentation without delay.
Waiting to hear from you as soon as you speak with my lawyer.
Yours Daughter
Miss. Blessing Paul



Malcolm Reynolds

Hi Blessing,
I'm still waiting for that Wells guy. He must have an awful lot on his plate to not answer a simple request. Are you OK?
Take care
Malcolm



Let's welcome the Lad lawyer.
What are the odds that the head of a legal firm in a small Third World nation, and a Francophone one at that, would have a knighthood?
Three points of particular interest; the gratuitous putdown ("your humble self" - twice), the long recitation of business experience, and that "approach" - "to work with the client rather than for the client" - all these are ammunition for me to use.


Anthony Wells (or Sir Anthony Wells)

25 July 2006
Barr.Anthony Wells Chambers
SOLICITORS & ADVOCATES
C/ 875 Abomey Cotonou,
Tel: 00-229 97-22-39-54. Benin Republic.

Dear Sir,
Reference to your mail from your humble self today been 24th July 2006.
On behalf of the above mentioned law firm we hereby to notify you that I'm the legal representative to Miss Blessing Paul the only daughter of late George Paul from Sierra Leone, as her late father was a Gold and Diamond merchant based in Freetown Sierra-Leone.
I'm directed to contact you by Miss Blessing Paul a Sierra Leonean citizen,the only daughter of late George Paul. Presently residence in refuge camp within Cotonou jurisdiction in respect of USD12, 500,000.00 which was deposited in a Financial Institution strong room vault here in Cotonou Benin Republic West Africa for security reasons confidentially by his late father George Paul, which I did verified with finance institution directors privately.
My inquiring proved that the amount in question exists and intact in the vault awaiting legal documents as an inheritance for smooth transfer into any receiving account details of your choice. Other necessary documents have been verified from the administration office proving the legality of the total amount in questioned.
OUR FIRM:
The firm was established by its founder Sir Anthony Wells in 1993 in anticipation of mayor shift in West Coast's legal profession away from traditional markets to alternative areas of practice ranging from financial services and reinsurance to intellectual property and electronic.
MAIN AREAS OF PRACTICE:
Banking and International Finance Transactions. We act for international banks in relation to commercial lending and re-financing and for international borrowers. We also advise banks on the legal aspects of their international Corporate and private client operations.
OUR VALUES
Competitive Legal Fees
At a time when legal fees are thought to be unusually high or excessive, we have a strong commitment to containing costs.
The scale of our practice provides flexibility in solving client Problems and permit us offer expert service in a highly competitive Fashion. We are prudent about management of our time.
We take extra Care to know our clients business well and do not believe that we should be paid to learn what we already know. As regards to the above, we will accept the appointment to act on your behalf as limited power of Attorney and hereby assured to act on your behalf in accordance with the West Coast act of 1982 section 6 sub section 4 v 1a-c paragraph, to for see that the financial matter here comes to a successful end in your favour unconditionally.
Based on our inquiry from the bank Foreign Remittance Department below documents are needed:- Obligations on the legal proceedures are as follows
1. The effects of change of ownership to your name which will be obtained and procured from the High Court Justice Cotonou Benin Republic.
2. Sworning of affidavit of Claims from the High Court of Justice Cotonou Benin.
3. Legalization of the public notorization.
4. Obtaining of the stamp Duty from the High Court of Justice Cotonou Benin.
Couple with the other necessary documentation from the High Court of justices Benin Republic. As regards to the above information and to proceeds in obtaining the necessary documents for the release of the fund in your favour you are required to furnish the chamber with the below information stated:-
Confirmations of Personal Data from you;
1 .Your full passport copy Id or Driving License.
2. Your full contacts address, Home or Office
3. Bank Details
4. Private phone and fax numbers
I will legally advise to you that both parties will enter into trust binding agreement in regards to future investment and the proceeds.
Sir Anthony Wells is ready to act as your Legal Attorney here in West Coast Africa and to act on your behalf as you will act if you are personal to see that all financial matters as regards to the fund transfer is been carry out to it's successfully end soonest.
Waiting to confirm the abovetwo requested datas as to enable us furge ahead.
Barrister Anthony Wells Chambers offers personalized legal and corporate services to its esteemed clientele.
Your humble self is highly advise to call me directly with this telephone number 00 229 97 22-39-54 to confirm in receipt of this message as soon as possible.
Our approach is to work with the client rather than for the client.
Ours in Service
Barrister Anthony Wells



I had Jack Nicholson's Colonel Jessup (in A Few Good Men) in mind when I wrote this reply.

Malcolm Reynolds

Barrister Wells:
Let's get a couple of things sorted out before we do business.
First off, you do not refer to me as "your humble self". The fact that you are Sir Anthony Wells does not give you the right to put me down. Are we clear?
Secondly, you wrote, "Our approach is to work with the client rather than for the client". That's not the approach I want to see. I am the client, you work for me. Are we clear?
Now - the main point here is that you are demanding identification in the form of my driving license or my passport. I can't supply either. My driving license is in the hands of the local police after an automobile accident; and State Department directives forbid the copying of passports.
Can we work around this?
Malcolm Reynolds



Crystal clear, it seems...

Anthony Wells (or Sir Anthony Wells)

25 July 2006

Dear Sir,
Good day
This is to acknowledge the receipt of your email dated 25/07/06 with reference to your first and second question
Don't be offended Mr Malcolm Reynolds, i was trying to explain to your understanding in this matter on behalf of Miss Blessing Paul. On that note, I wish to inform you that you can indicatethe below information as to enable me forge ahead
1. Full name
2. Current house address
3. Bank details
Thereby, I shall forge ahead in making the legalized the documents in he high court of justice Cotonou Benin.
As, matter I told you initially that the effects to changes of some documents to your favour is duly important to the release of this consignment to your favour.
I implore to inform you that you should go through the informations below ;
Obligations on the legal proceedures are as follows ;
1. The effects of change of ownership to your name which will be obtained and procured from the High Court Justice Cotonou Benin Republic.
After my enquiry today from the High Court in Charge of the Change of Ownership was informed amount USD1,250.00, i have made your partner clear that you will take the Responsibility of the Change of Ownersip to beendorse to your name for onward release of the cossignment in your favour, these documents and its absolutely necessary in this feild.
2. Sworning of affidavit of Claims from the High Court of Justice Cotonou Benin.
3. Legalization of the public notorization.
4. Obtaining of the stamp Duty from the High Court of Justice Cotonou Benin.
I personally assured your partner Miss Blessing Paul to take the Responsibility to secure the 2/4 documents mentioned above with my possition based on her situation here, i believe we are both matured men with family we can put head together to see that the young lady Miss Blessing Paul is out of this her present situation, she cried to my office todat as worked in my office from Court telling me that she need my urgent attention
Now on my side i am ready to keep on as soon as i confirm the three requested information from you, as to enable my carry out my duty as yourattorney in-act.
Be assured that the perfection of this transaction will not attracts any delay from our side and that is our prime factor.
Thansk for your utmost understanding.
Your's Sincerely,
Barr. Anthony Wells. Esq.
Malcolm Reynolds

Barrister Wells,
That's much better. Now, ref. the information required:
Full name - Malcolm Paul Reynolds
Home address - 2/33 Stuart Drive, Alice Springs, Northern Territory, Australia
Bank Details - Commonwealth Bank of Australia; account number G 937 641 424.
Anything else, drop me a line.
I hope you treated Blessing with a lot more tact that you showed me. I'm not a family man, but at the moment I'd back my maturity over yours - big time.
Malcolm Reynolds



For the baiter, the chance to insult one Lad personality while talking to the other is a chance never to be missed.

Malcolm Reynolds

Blessing,
Are you OK?
I ask this because I've just sent details to Anthony Wells.
He said you'd been crying in his office - and I know why. Blessing, that lawyer is an arrogant shit. He had the nerve to refer to me as "your humble self". My god! Some stuck up little paper-shuffler wants to put me down! His head is so gorram big, you could hide a rutting assault carrier behind it. It really turns my gut that such a jerkoff should control your future, but I guess we're stuck with him, worse luck.
Take care.
Malcolm



Back to Tony Wells, and wouldn't you know it? There's always the money to be demanded...

Anthony Wells (or Sir Anthony Wells)

28 July 2006

Attn:Malcolm Paul Reynolds,
This is to acknowledge the receipt of your email 25/07/06 with informationed you supplied well noted in this legal office.
First sorry for m y late reply to you mail, Miss. Blessing Paul was down with fever she is presently in the Hospital for treatment, this her illness and work load tak all my time for this two days, information gathtered fron the Doctor today the Hospital Authorities requested for Euros250.00 for her treatment and for three days bed rest.
In regards to your pursuits of which I told you that my enquiries from the court proceedings and hereby are the informations below ;
1. The effects of change of ownership to your name which will be obtained and procured from the High Court Justice Cotonou Benin Republic. -----Euros1,250.00
Once we confirmed the fees then I will forge ahead in procuring the documents from the high court and send the copies to you as well following it up in the security vault for immediate release of the consignment without delay. Sir bears in mind that this fees has no protocols to follow up rather once we paid then release of this documents will be offered to your favour urgently.
The below as well is the recieving name informations of our chambers's secretary, Money can be send via Western Union Money Transfer urgently.
Name: Lucky Adiohwo.
Address: C/274 Scoa Gbetto, Cotonou Benin Republic.
Test Q: What For? Answer: Ownership.
We are waiting to hear from you as soon as possible.
Thanks for your anticipated co-operations,
Barr. Anthony Wells. Esq.



It's time for a necessary question or two, and to establish Malcolm as a money-source for them to tap into.

Malcolm Reynolds

Mr Wells,
I'm glad to hear that Blessing will recover - if her spirits were down she could easily have got sick that way. Simon (my brother-in-law to be) says that depressed people can get sick quite easily as depression can affect the immune system.
OK, as for your bill, it's a bit of a surprise to have to pay ahead - I've done plenty of legal business recently over the incorporation of my business and the purchase of aircraft, and in my experience you settle up on the basis of results. I also don't understand what you mean by "this fees has no protocols to follow up". Please explain both these issues.
Regards,
Malcolm Reynolds



Nope, still just the money.
Interesting - three days' bed rest is now something more serious!


Anthony Wells (or Sir Anthony Wells)

28 July 2006

Sir,
Compliment of the day,
Reference to your mail dated 28/07/06 the content is well noted and understood perfectly, as it may interest you I have gone to see Miss. Blessing in the Hospital this Morning for my writing this email, she is not yet responding to treatment based on the Doctor report to me.
In regards to your pursuits of which I told you that I made enquiries from the court proceedings and hereby are the information's below;
1. The effects of change of ownership to your name which will be obtained and procured from the High Court Justice Cotonou Benin Republic. -----Euros450.00
2. Sworning of affidavit of Claims from the High Court of Justice Cotonou Benin. ---Euros350.00
3. Legalization of the public motorization. ----Euros150.00
4. Obtaining of the stamp Duty from the High Court of Justice Cotonou Benin. ---Euros350.00
The total of Euros1, 250.00, therefore, once we confirmed the fees then I will forge ahead in procuring the documents from the high court and send the copies to you as well following it up in the security vault for immediate release of the consignment without delay. Sir bears in mind that this fees has no protocols to follow up rather once we paid then release of this documents will be offered to your favour urgently.
From my side I have put every documentation in place pending when you send the fee to enable me proceed to the Court to carry out my duty as stated above as your legal attorney in-fact, if you have any means will advice you try and reach Blessing see how you talk with her.
You have the information to send the fee as you may know that 1St of August 2006 is Public Holidays here if possible will advice you remit the fee Money being 31St to move on.
We are waiting to hear from you as soon as possible.
Thanks for your anticipated co-operations,
Barr. Anthony Wells. Esq.



Malcolm is not happy!

Malcolm Reynolds

Mr Wells,
You said that Blessing would need three days bed rest. Now you say she's not responding to treatment. What the hell is going on? And why didn't you answer my questions? You haven't explained the need for up-front payment or what you meant by "Protocols to follow up".
As your client, I demand answers!
Malcolm Reynolds



Tony Wells does his best to retrieve the situation using a mixture of moral blackmail, some bafflegab, and a badly mangled metaphor.

Anthony Wells (or Sir Anthony Wells)

29 July 2006

Sir,
Your question has been answer correctly.
Well your mail was received, response to your two mail as below.
Reference to the WILL TESTAMENT wrote by the late deceased George Paul legal father to Miss. Blessing Paul.
Stated that Miss. Blessing Paul should physically present a trustee and experienced foreign investor/manager that is able to advice and assist both investing the amount in question in the Vault to whom the Money should be released to for onward investment purpose. Also stated that on no account should a Cent be release from the deposit at the Vault of Royal Precious Security Company (RPS) deposit house Vault to both, except the fulfilment of the condition stated on the above in 4A
In view of this situation, I have explain to you better in my last email the reason you are to pay the Euros1,250.00 again is to enable the Change of Ownership endorse to your name from the High Court of Justice here in Benin stating you as the legal claim beneficiary of the deposited consignment in custody of the Security Company. I attached copy of the WILL TESTAMENT for your view.
This fee talking about is going to the Government not individual ok, if you wish to further the proceeding as your partner is in the Hospital before she get well ok, because the doctor was telling me today as stated to that Miss. Blessing Paul not yet responding to treatment, i see this as a result of stress and confusion, I have tried all my best for her here it had time you assist me to get the young lady out of this mess on time before he get her self killed.
I am a lawyer for many years without disappointing my clients, so many question can seek a ship I am your lawyer representing you here it will be of benefit to follow my steps for successful conclusion, if you feel you can proceed without my assistance go ahead because question without movement could lead and attract much demurrage.
I will advice you to please indicate your private telephone to enable me reach you, also my is +229-97-22-39-54 call me upon the receipt of this email.
Best of luck
Barr. Anthony Wells



Malcolm Reynolds

Mr Wells,
Why the hell am I wasting time with you when I should be more concerned about Blessing? I don't give a rat's ass about your gorram fees, what the hell is killing Blessing? Find her gorram doctor and tell him to get in touch with me (via this address).
This is not the time for legal crap! Move it!
Malcolm Reynolds



Tony Wells now tries to parade his status and good works. He also invokes the classic "we're running out of time" modality.

Anthony Wells (or Sir Anthony Wells)

29 July 2006

Sir,
To acknowledge the receipt of your email dated 28/07/06 have been noted and understood, you see I am very much concern about Blessing Paul and she will be ok by his grace any moment as God will take control of her illness.
Listen Mr. Malcolm, I am good Christian a dickens in the Church Call Christ Embassy located here in Benin Brach, also a legal attorney representing large investment and companies international, I have deal with allot of clients I have never receive any insult from any one because all my duty is to protect and perfect whatever I am appointed to do, could you please address your letter when contacting me?
I will do my part as promise regard obtaining the legal documents from the Ministry in charge referring you as Blessing Legal foreign investor, presentable to the firm then when my part is ok you will contact the security company your self to conclude with them the Change of Ownership to avoid embranchment from both side ok. this Morning I went to the Hospital to see Blessing regards signing her potion of the Letter of Mandate which she did sign her part in the hospital there, you are required to follow the instruction on the Letter of Mandate ok, fill in your full name address then below end where you will see Sign, Sealed and Delivered to: your name as well then where Miss. Blessing Paul is written below you will see Mr. Write your full name as well and sign the return for urgent expenditure from my side.
We have to forge ahead as time is fast approaching.
Waiting the sign Letter of Mandate to forward to the Security Company for further proceedings.
Regards
Barr. Anthony Wells





Let's see how "Sir Anthony" handles a testosterone surge! This has several references to a previous bait, YOU ARE A GREAT PILOT.

Malcolm Reynolds

Mr Wells,
You want to engage in a status pissing contest? Fine by me!
I was once a Captain in the United States Marine Corps.
I commanded a company of Marine riflemen - seven officers and 161 enlisted men.
Then I commanded a squadron of helicopter gunships - twelve AH-1 Cobras, 200 plus personnel, and tens of millions of dollars of sophisticated hardware.
My personal tally of kills during Operation Desert Saber was nine MBTs, 22 other AFVs, 72 soft-skinned vehicles, 10 AAA positions and 19 hardpoints.
I had to stand by helpless as corpsmen tried to save the sight of my weapons officer after our Cobra was hit by a 57 mm shell.
In Somalia, I was again on infantry duties; I personally killed eleven members of criminal gangs, and was wounded in action.
Now, in my civilian career, I'm creating a company that will hopefully bring the latest in high-tech transport to a remote area, with all that it means for emergency services and the future of tourism. You, on the other hand, are some pissant little ambulance chaser who dissed me from the git-go, and now you flash your gorram religion - whatever the hell a "dicken" is - the way a Vegas dancer shakes her ass. Well, like the Eskimo said to the icebox salesman, "I AIN'T BUYING IT!" You earn respect in my book. So far you haven't.
One more thing - what the rutting hell do you mean by "We have to forge ahead as time is fast approaching"? The time for what?
Malcolm Reynolds.



We have a new hazard to overcome - a heartless doctor.

Miss Blessing Paul

31 July 2006

Daddy,
How are you? Have you heard from my lawyer since? for fews days now i not see him arround the Hospital as he use to do, please i just manage to come out of the bed today the doctor said i need to come up with the fee before i complete my drip.
Daddy,i think i will call for change of lawyer what do you think.
Please contact the Security Company Direct
Name Mr. Abdul Kabiru
Email: rpssarl@financier.com
You have their full contact on the Deposit Certificate, please reach them urgent to speak with them to know the requirement.
Waiting to hear from you aftr conatcting the firm
Your Dauther
Miss. Blessing Paul



Malcolm Reynolds

Blessing,
Honey, this is such a relief!
That gorram jerkoff and windbag Tony Wells was talking like you were on your deathbed. He got really snooty when I told him to stop yammering on about his rutting fees and tell me how you were. He tried to make out what a big shot he was - I pointed out that Marine Corps officers have a lot more behind them than he ever will.
Blessing, do we need a lawyer? I can't stand those maggots.
I had to cope with some hotshot defence lawyer when I was giving testimony over two lowlife muggers who tried to rob this woman outside a bar - I slugged them both and got the lady away, the two of them ran and got caught later, but at the trial their lawyer flashed some rap sheet and tried to tell the jury I was a convicted credit card cheat! The problem for him was, the dates on the rap sheet coincided with my tour in Somalia, and it made him look like a prize doofus. He never did apologize though!
Who's your doctor? Is he OK? I'm sure he won't just turf you out. I mean, it's not like it's a hospital in America... : )
Before I go contacting anyone - Tony Wells sent me some letter of mandate to sign. Do we still need that? Let me know soon.
Take it easy and drink lots of fluids. It's the Marine way, and it's good.
Best wishes,
Malcolm



Miss Blessing Paul

01 August 2006

Daddy,
Warm greeting from your daughter to you,
May God forbide i am not in a deathbed God has future for me that was while i remain in life after escaping the crisis.
My Doctor is very fine he new i am from the Refugee Camp and my lawyer paid part of the Hopital bill balance Money to be paid, i don't need the asistance of that lawyer again Daddy we need to find another means.
Regards to your question Daddy, yes there is every need for your to sign and send it back to the Security Company Direct for them toinform you the next steps to follow.
Enclose are the contact to reach the Security Company.
Name Mr. Abdul Kabiru
Tel+229-93053918
Fax+229-21-311171
Email: rpssarl@financier.com
Daddy, the above is contact of the Royal Precious Security Company house Vault and the person in charge, you will need to sign the Mandate Letter and send back to the Security Company management urgent Daddy, any question contact me for details.
Daddy, can you be of help to me by sending me Just USD300 to upset the Hopital bill please Daddy, i am not forcing but pleading for your help upon confirmation of the funsd in your channel you have the legal wright to deduct from the total sum please, i have no access to cash now if you could do this for me pending when transfer will commerce honestly i will use it for feeding and hospital bill while you follow up the claim.
God bless you Daddy
Yours Daughter
Blessing Paul



For those not in the know, all but the first paragraph is drawn from a classic movie moment; Jack Nicholson's denunciation of Tom Cruise in A Few Good Men.

Malcolm Reynolds

Mr Wells,
On advice from Ms Paul - we don't need you any more. You can consider yourself fired, effective immediately. And while we're here, just ponder this, next time you choose to flaunt your title and your faith and your good name.
We live in a world that has walls, and those walls have to be guarded by men with guns. Who's going to do that? You?
I know deep down in places you don't talk about at parties, you don't want me on that wall, yet you need men like me on that wall.
We used words like honor, code, loyalty. We used these words as the backbone of a life spent defending something. You use them as a punchline.
I have neither the time nor the inclination to explain myself any further to a man who rises and sleeps under the blanket of the very freedom I once helped to provide. I prefer you said thank you, and went on your way. Otherwise, I suggest you pick up a weapon, and stand to post. Either way, I don't give a damn what you think!
That is all.
Malcolm Reynolds



Malcolm Reynolds

To Mr. Abdul Kabiru, Royal Precious Security Company:
Please confirm that you are currently holding property belonging to Ms Blessing Paul. Immediate answer appreciated.
Regards,
Malcolm Reynolds



Malcolm Reynolds

Hi there Blessing,
I sent off that lawyer with a flea in his gorram ear. With luck he'll have got the message.
You should have got the CC of the message I sent to the security company.
Honey, I'm more than willing to help you but - ahem - you haven't given me any details about where to send it.
It would be useful...
Malcolm



Miss Blessing Paul

02 August 2006

Daddy,
Warm greeting from your daughter to you,
Thanks for your email, i do reecieved your mail to the Security Company have you sign the Letter of Mandate forward to theirdesk? Daddy is very important you sign the Mandate Letter so that the Company can tell us what to do next please is very neccessary Daddy.
Regards to Barrister Anthony Wells, i have nothing with him any more i have made understand, if you are still communicating with him better stop Daddy we do not need his service.
Is better you deal directly with the Royal Precious Security Company personally.
Daddy, i do not have your private number up till now? Daddy i really need to speak with you to hear your vice also to have heart to heart discussion Daddy, please in your response kindly avail your private telephone number please.
I have collected the name of our refugee coordinator name for you to send the USD300 via Western Union with below name of our Refugee Coordinator.
Receiver's information
NAME: ALEX AIMUAMWOSA
DESTINATION: REPUBLIC OF BENIN
ADDRESS: 48 OHIDHA-COTONOU
AMOUNT: USD300
TEXT QUESTION: MONEY FOR WHO?
ANSWER: BLESSING
Daddy, the above information can be use to send the Money posible today or tomorrow because today is Public Holidays here he can be pick up here tomorrow morning, please i am counting on your support so try and help me as you did mentioned, i am not ok with the present situation please do your posible best to rescue me out of this place as soon as posible, once you send the Money forward the Control number text question answer and sendre's name on this email.
Please do try and sign on the Letter and forward to the Security Company Direct.
Yours Daughter
Miss. Blessing Paul


Remember the contact name...


Malcolm Reynolds

Blessing,
I was going to hold off sending the Letter of Mandate until they got back to me. So far those slackers haven't bothered to reply. Not happy!
Blessing, honey, here's my number; (03) 9347-8666. I'm not sure about the country code so you'd better have someone at the hospital look it up for you.
I'd like to send money but I don't trust Western Union. I tried to send money to my old buddy Jubal Early after Hurricane Katrina but the gorram idiots lost the transaction twice! I'll have to find some other way if there is one.
Look after yourself.
Malcolm



The Security Company joins the fray.

Abdul Kabiru

02 August 2006

RPS SARL
03 BP 3253 Jericho Cotonou Republique Du Benin
Tel+ 229-93053918 Fax+ 229-21-31-11-71
E-mail:Royalprecioussecurities@cosmo.com
Attention: Mr. Malcolm Reynolds

Dear Sir,
Yesterday being 1st of August is our independence day we are happy to announce to you that your contact with this office will be successful.
On 26/06/2002 we have consignment deposited in our Vault house here in Republique Du Benin Brach by one Mr. George Paul a deceased, the consignment was deposited under the name of Miss. Blessing Paul (nationality of Sierra Leone) being the legal next of kin to the deposited consignment in our vault. We are already informed about the claim which the process is in progress, Miss. Blessing Paul promise to send a Mandate Letter nominating his present beneficiary to come forth for the claim, in that case we are waiting for the duly sign Mandate Letter from her to study before further details requirement to proceed.
Awaiting the duly sign Letter of Mandate as soon as possible.
Good luck
Mr. Abdul Kabiru



Malcolm Reynolds

Mr Kabiru,
I understand - Ms Paul did mention Benin's Independence Day in one of her messages, it had slipped my mind.
I am attaching a copy of the Letter of Mandate with my signature.
Confirm receipt and explain what to do next, please.
Regards,
Malcolm Reynolds



Careless Lad - he put his 'own name' as the barrister...

Abdul Kabiru

03 August 2006

Our Ref: RPS-02/07/06
Dear Sir,
RE-RELEASE OF YOUR CONSIGNMENT
Sequel to the Receipt of your Letter of Mandate received today second august 2006, following the Board of Director's Meeting to Determine your true position as the Bonafide beneficiary to Miss. Blessing paul legal daughter to Deceased customer (late) Mr. George paul a citizen of Republic of Sierra Leone, It is our wish to inform you that after a tripartite Meeting held since we received your Mandating Letter, by the board of Director's and foreign release department section of the above Firm, Approval has been given to your Letter of Mandate, under section 2, Sub-Section 5, of the rules of claims and Release of your consignment, which acknowledges and grants your Mandate, for this Royal Precious Security Company to Release in your favour.
In the vain, you are hereby requested to be in our office at 03 BP 3253 Jericho Cotonou with all Satisfied Evidence to prove your claim for onward Endorsement of the Consignment release Order , you should therefore, Accompany with you the below documents:
(A) A Sworn Affidavit of Claim/ Representation bearing your name from the High Court of Benin.
(B) Legalization of the public notorization.
(c) Obtaining of the stamp Duty from the High Court of Justice Cotonou Benin.
The above mentioned requirement documents will be obtain from the High Court of Benin, Conversely, if you are unable to be physically present you are therefore required to appoint the service of our legal accredited Royal Precious Security Company attorney for the procurement of the three abovementioned documents on your behalf.
BARRISTER ABDUL KABIRU
ATTORNEY AT LAW E-mail: edafe_george@yahoo.fr



Miss Blessing Paul

03 August 2006

Daddy,
Warm greeting from your daughter to you,
Let me understand whom I am dealing with please, ever since I asked of you your identity or any picture to know my business partner, I haven't receive any from you which is not fine Dad and you know it.
Daddy, I have it mind that you will never let me down either now or in the future upon confirmation of my life inheritance in your possession, I am 100% fully convince about your capability to handle my investment plane when I am there with you, as I am willing to further my education as medical and surgery student there in your country upon successful claim of my consignment to your channel.
I need your encouragement Dad in other to focus because I will make sure I maintain the legacy my late father left behind as only surviving daughter, therefore in every area regards this transaction Dad, I will expect your serious attention as to enable this transaction come to and end in a couple of days please, I trusted you that was while I forward every deposit documents for your peruse which I fully know that you will not disappoint me.
Dad, I need the below information from you please, don't be angry just do for me your Daughter.
Your Any Id card of Picture
Age
Direct telephone number
I don't need to be asking any body before I reach you, honestly my intention is confidentiality of this transaction to avoid confiscation of my life inheritance, I you may full aware that all my life depend on this said fund in custody of the Firm.
Daddy, please for God sake help me with the little amount I asked of you just USD300 you can send it via Western Union or money Gram as soon as you send it give me the information I will get it without delay, suffering from lack of cash in hand to take treatment, Daddy, every body knows that Western Union is safe and guarantee to send Money all over the world.
I wait to confirm the information as soon as the Money is end please.
May the peace of God guide you and your family.
Yours Daughter
Miss. Blessing Paul



Abdul Kabiru

03 August 2006

Dear Sir,
RE-RELEASE OF YOUR CONSIGNMENT
Sequel to the Receipt of your Letter of Mandate received today second august 2006, following the Board of Director's Meeting to Determine your true position as the Bonafide beneficiary to Miss. Blessing paul legal daughter to Deceased customer (late) Mr. George paul a citizen of Republic of Sierra Leone, It is our wish to inform you that after a tripartite Meeting held since we received your Mandating Letter, by the board of Director's and foreign release department section of the above Firm, Approval has been given to your Letter of Mandate, under section 2, Sub-Section 5, of the rules of claims and Release of your consignment, which acknowledges and grants your Mandate, for this Royal Precious Security Company to Release in your favour.
In the vain, you are hereby requested to be in our office at 03 BP 3253 Jericho Cotonou with all Satisfied Evidence to prove your claim for onward Endorsement of the Consignment release Order , you should therefore, Accompany with you the below documents:
(A) A Sworn Affidavit of Claim/ Representation bearing your name from the High Court of Benin.
(B) Legalization of the public notorization.
(c) Obtaining of the stamp Duty from the High Court of Justice Cotonou Benin.
The above mentioned requirement documents will be obtain from the High Court of Benin, Conversely, if you are unable to be physically present you are therefore required to appoint the service of our legal accredited Royal Precious Security Company attorney for the procurement of the three abovementioned documents on your behalf.
BARRISTER EDAFE GEORGE
ATTORNEY AT LAW E-mail: edafe_george@yahoo.fr
Mr. Abdul Kabiru
Royal Precious security company (RPS)


[Yup, same letter, with adjustments ;| ]


Malcolm Reynolds

Blessing honey,
I'll do what you ask - I've enclosed a picture of me and Inara, my girlfriend and (I hope) wife-to-be. As I hinted before, I'm 38 (not far off that dangerous age). And my phone number (as I said before) is (03) 9347-8666.
Blessing, let me put in the picture. I don't know what life you imagine I'm leading out here. I know you're in pretty dire straits. But I don't want you thinking I'm some multi-millionaire hotshot. Truth is, I'm a man with a concept and a dream; to start my own airline.
Alice Springs is a remote settlement in the Dead Heart, surrounded by wild desert and grasslands. It's beautiful countryside. The tourist sites, like Uluru and Kakadu, are tourist magnets.
My dream is to create a hi-tech courier and transport service, using the very latest in aviation technology - the Boeing V-22 Osprey - to transport tourists in the tourist season, or doctors and the like all year round, faster and more flexibly that normal planes or helicopters could. I'm working hard on this dream, attracting investors, and gathering a team of experts to run the operation. But things are not good right now.
A month ago I was in a severe car accident. A drunk local T-boned my Hummvee late one night. He died instantly - right in front of my eyes - and my right leg was smashed. It took me two weeks to get out of hospital.
I face daily therapy to repair my leg so that I can operate flying controls of a regular aircraft. I'll have steel pins in my leg for the rest of my days - so I'll be setting off airport metal detectors every time I travel.
Finally, to cap it all, the guy who rammed me, while drunk - some character named Mick Taylor from Fox River - seems to have had a lot of friends and clout.
The police seized my driving license, and local yahoos have been on my ass ever since with harassing phone calls and vandalism. My buddy Jayne has been watching my back ever since.
I can't travel anywhere alone and I'm in no condition to fight back effectively if those hoons confront me.
In practical terms, until my leg heals and I can get my license back, there's no way I can get to Western Union and send money without someone noticing - and you wanted things kept confidential, Blessing, remember?
I got word from Kabiru - I'll be mulling it over and I'll get back to you.
Take care, cupcake.
Malcolm


I attached a picture of Nathan Fillion and Morena Baccarin in Firefly.
This draws on a previous bait, YOU ARE A GREAT PILOT; the reference to "Mick Taylor from Fox River" is derived from WAKE IN FRIGHT AT WOLF CREEK.
And yes, I just killed off a baiter persona.



Miss Blessing Paul

04 August 2006

Daddy,
Thanks for your email to me, i gone through your long email and undertood the content noted. I saw your pics you sent, sorry for the auto Accedient, i thank Godis not more than that.
I am begining to have 100% convince about your staus and responsibility to handle thistransaction safely without disappointing me upon confirmation of my lifeinheritanceinto your channel.
Daddy, let me be clear with you, keeping secret of our deal does not stop you sending Money to me because i need your financial assistance badly, if you have my interest and humantarian feeling about me don't hesitsate to sendme theUSD300 today or tomorrow Money via Western Union, you have a Girl Friend which make it eaiser for you, you can send Any close person to you to go and send the Money, the only thing you should do is to keep is confidential don't let the person know the reason of sending the USD300.
Please Daddy, i take you as my father don't let me down i need thios Money to pay for medical expenses and to feed while you proceed on teh claim.
I wait to hear from you regard to theUSD300 initialy you ask me to forward the information you will need to send the Money, i gave you since three days now you change to another way which is making me to be suspicious now, please prove your sincerity towards assisting m.
Regards
Miss. Blessing Paul


There are mixed signals here, which I'll address below.
And the Ladette really wants that $300.
Time for a mild slap...



Malcolm Reynolds

Blessing,
You're confusing me.
Do you trust me ("I am begining to have 100% convince about your staus") or not ("now you change to another way which is making me to be suspicious now")?
Blessing, you've called me Daddy a lot of times now. Well, listen up; when I was your age, I was leading a squadron of twelve AH-1 gunships. I commanded 200 officers and enlisted men. Throughout my childhood and youth, I never begged or wheedled the way you do now.
You are in a refugee camp, right? Well, as I understand refugee camps (I saw plenty close up in Somalia), they can't refuse you food, and they can't throw you out.
I will send money when I can. I don't understand why Inara should make things easier. She knows full well that I don't have any contacts in Africa, and believe you me, she would want to know more.
Sorry, but that one won't even get off the ground.
Be strong and of good heart, and you'll reap the rewards.
Best wishes,
Malcolm



Miss Blessing Paul

04 August 2006

Daddy,
What is happing? have you contact the security company? you are slowing every move which is affecting me badly here in the camp, please let me know yourtrueposition to help me out of this situation fast.
Blessing



Malcolm Reynolds

Mr Kabiru:
It seems a little odd to have to approach you by these channels to request your services as a barrister, but I guess it's your way, so who am I to argue?
So; given my inability to travel to Benin (I have a severe leg injury that makes me a high risk with regards to DVT), I'll need your assistance in the matter of Ms Blessing Paul.
Regards,
Malcolm Reynolds



Malcolm Reynolds

Blessing:
I've contacted Mr Kabiru, who, it seems, wears two hats (as director and barrister). It's up to him now to get this deal moving.
My previous statements on Western Union stand. You'll just have to be patient.
Take care,
Malcolm



Blessing is angry at Malcolm - not sure for what...

Miss Blessing Paul

05 August 2006

Daddy,
Are you fooling me or what? i called thesecurity company now to confirm they told you have not yet response to their last email.
What is going Daddy, well if you fail to let me know youir readiness in your mail i think i will stop communicating with you, then find some one else if you don't want to help me out here. You always use insultive words which is not good, no body is forcing you is your choise to help me if you still decide today to step out there is no problem, you make me talk to wells any how now you are referring to Director of theHolding Company, don't you know if you address your letter to the coholding company insultive way they might confisicate my fund.
Please don't put meinto more stress, i seek for help not to be insultive in any body i ask you to contact. Let me know your final decission either to proceed or step out.
You demanded from mewhere you will send the Money after having the information you change again telling me that you send Money before they Western Union lont thet ransaction, that has never happen before ok you are only fooling me that is all because if you know the situation i am passing through here i don't think you will disappoint me.
Regards bye
Blessing



It's Slap Time!

Malcolm Reynolds

Blessing,
I see. So much for 100% trust!
For your information, young lady, THIS is what I sent the security company's lawyer: "It seems a little odd to have to approach you by these channels to request your services as a barrister, but I guess it's your way, so who am I to argue? So; given my inability to travel to Benin (I have a severe leg injury that makes me a high risk with regards to DVT), I'll need your assistance in the matter of Ms Blessing Paul."
So what do you say now? Are you going to apologise? Because no one who calls herself my daughter talks to me the way you do!
What "insultive words" did I use to you? Did I use "insultive words" to Mr Kabiru? No! Did I make you talk to Tony Wells? No, he was your lawyer. I didn't choose him!
I have been nothing but polite and formal to Mr Kabiru, who heads the security company. Again, I defy you to find any insult in what I've written to him!
Finally, Blessing, I asked for where to send you money, not how. You mentioned Western Union, not me. You say no one has trouble with Western Union - well, excuse me, but you ain't the sole agent of the human race here. I speak from experience.
You even hint I'm a liar again, Blessing, you can stay in that gorram refugee camp forever for all that I care.
Malcolm



The Lad barrister joins the party.

Edafe George

05 August 2006

Sir,
We are in receipt of your mail, i have just gone through the file of late Mr.George paul confirm that your is transaction is legal, therefore i am happy to carry out my duty of oath of 1976 as yourlegal attorney in-fact. Documentaion required for claim:
(A) A Sworn Affidavit of Claim: will cost you Euros350.00 as a foreign body on your behalf
(B) Legalization of public notorization will cost you Euros350.00 as a foreign body on your behalf
(c) Obtaining of the stamp Duty from the High Court of Justice Cotonou Benin.will cost you Euros350.00 officail fee
My enquiry from the Ministry Charge of the required documents as follow:-
Upon receipt of the above processing fee the three vital documents will commerce from the judiciary on your behalf immediately.
Your are therefore advice to remit the said fee under the name of this firm name as below.
Name: ALEX AIMUAMWOSA
Destination: COTONOU BENIN REPUBLIC
Amount: Euros1,50.00

Confirm the above fee via Money Gram or Western Union Money transfer for immediate obtaining of the legal documentation, once if is done forward the information neccessary to pick up the fee to me as soon as posible.
Since you mentioned that ou can not come down you are advice to give me Power of Attorney to endorse the neccessary signning on your behalf.
I well your positive resposne as to extend my duty forward without further delay.
Best Regards
Barrister Edafe George



Well of course, I don't know this guy from Adam! I'm expecting Abdul Kabiru to handle the legal issues.

Malcolm Reynolds

Mr George,
Excuse me, but who are you and why are you intruding on business between me and barrister Alex Kabiru? I did not contact you.
Malcolm Reynolds



And from 'Blessing' - a prize grovel, plus a very small black and white photo of refugee women and children. That means no mercy for you, mugu.

Miss Blessing Paul

05 August 2006

Daddy,
I am very sorry for all i said in my previous email to you, honestly i am in bad shape here in the refugee camp believe me Daddy.
I have confirm from the lawyer that he have mail from you but he told me that he will verify first before ny move, Daddy, please forgive me your daughter, situation make me use hot words on my daddy with hope that you will forhgibe me please.
I don't want third party in this deal that is why i need you to complete the claim, please do any thing posible to comply with the security company for the clai of my life inheritance urgent please.
I will try and call you for more apology Daddy, tel you forgive me please.Daddy, look at the deposit proof and my refugee camp picture, i am in the front of the food atenders sufering Daddy, help me out if you can urgent please.
Thanks Daddy
Your Lovely daughter
Miss. Blessing Paul





Malcolm Reynolds

Blessing,
I've taken note of your apology - for now. Just bear in mind that there is no excuse for rudeness or disrespect, no matter how hard your situation may be.
Before I get down to core issues; I don't understand your reference to "I don't want third party in this deal".
You contacted Tony Wells, you asked me to contact barrister Abdul Kabiru, and you wanted me to bluff Inara into sending you money. When it comes to keeping things in-house, Blessing, you didn't exactly write the manual!
But to the main issue - when I contacted Barrister Abdul Kabiru via the link you provided, I got a reply from someone named Edafe George who claimed to have gone through your father's file. Who is this Mr George? I'm a bit concerned. No reply yet - updates will be sent.
I've just had a heavy day of therapy on my leg and spent a lot of time asleep - the result, so the medicos said, of the long-term effects of severe shock.
Malcolm



Malcolm Reynolds

Mr Kabiru,
What is happening?
I posted to you via the link provided and I was answered by one Edafe George. Who is he and why is he answering messages from me? Please explain this.
Malcolm Reynolds



Malcolm Reynolds

Blessing,
Will you stop sulking, honey, and answer me? I've heard nothing from that gorram barrister so far. That's two out of two. I told you how I hated lawyers!
Malcolm



From grovel to whine... what a difference a few days can make!

Miss Blessing Paul

10 August 2006

Daddy,
How you really ready to help me out of this situation? your answer will give me rule to work with you, because you never showed any seriousness towards this effect since all this while.
Now the Security Company said either you come donw here or you can send the Required fee to obtain the Documents with the help of their attorney Barrister Edafe George email.
edafe_george1@yahoo.fr contact him to work with him is confirm attorney atached with the firm.
Contact him urgent and pay him to help us get the documentation fast, i had forward your contact email you said you sent to him he might contact you since then.
Show your readiness by paying the legal fee to proceed, if you fail to contact the lawyer comply with hip, please note that i will know that you never take this transaction seriouse, it will give me the rule to find some one else.
I don't know if you understand the situation.
Regards
Blessing



Time for some culture! Oh, and another slap.

Malcolm Reynolds

Blessing,
I don't know if you're familiar with Shakespeare, but here's a bit from King Lear that fits the moment like a glove.
"How sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child".
And that's you to a tee, Blessing - you are an ungrateful little minx. As my daughter, you'd be one spoiled brat.
Perhaps a little Corps discipline would put you right!
"[N]ever showed any seriousness" - I do not know what's wrong with you, except that maybe you can't handle the truth.
When did Edafe George become the barrister here? Abdul Kabiru put himself forward for that job, and he never said a word about handing it on to someone else.
I explained why I can't travel, so you know we'll need a local brief. And I will get in touch with this Edafe George.
You may not believe it, but I understand the situation very well. I don't like your attitude, but right now I'm not in a position to change it. One day...
Malcolm



Malcolm Reynolds

Mr George,
It seems that you are the designated barrister for Ms Blessing Paul. I wasn't aware on receiving your message that you had taken on that role.
Please restate the details - I no longer have your last message on file.
Regards,
Malcolm Reynolds



Are we in the right scam?

Edafe George

10 August 2006

From The Desk of Barrister Edafe George
To. Mr. Malcolm Reynolds

Dear Sir,
This is to acknowledge the receipt of your mail, in regard to Miss blessing paul fund i required a fee of $1200 dollars to start the processing as this funds is about getting into Demurrage,kindly act fast if this fund is to be transfered into your account immediately
Congrats
Barrister Edafe George



Malcolm Reynolds

Mr George,
You're not exactly helping this business! First, I don't want Ms Paul's belongings going into demurrage, I want them coming out of demurrage. Second, according to Mr Kabriru, your services were to acquire documentation, as follows:
"(A) A Sworn Affidavit of Claim/ Representation bearing your name from the High Court of Benin.
(B) Legalization of the public notorization.
(c) Obtaining of the stamp Duty from the High Court of Justice Cotonou Benin."
Why are you asking for payment of demurrage fees? That's not your job!
Thirdly, send the money where? You haven't said.
Malcolm Reynolds



Remember the contact name, I said... it should come back to you now...

Edafe George

11 August 2006

Atten:Mr. Malcolm,

Sir,
We are in receipt of your mail, i have just gone through the file of late Mr.George paul confirm that your transaction is legal, therefore i am happy to carry out my duty of oath of 1976 as your truely legal attorney in-fact.
Documentaion required for claim:
(A) A Sworn Affidavit of Claim: will cost you Euros350.00 as a foreign body on your behalf
(B) Legalization of public notorization. will cost you Euros350.00 as a foreign body on your behalf
(c) Obtaining of the stamp Duty from the High Court of Justice Cotonou Benin.will cost you Euros350.00 officail fee
My enquiry from the Ministry Charge of the required documents as follow:-
Upon receipt of the above processing fee the three vital documents will commerce from the judiciary on your behalf immediately.
Your are therefore advice to remit the said fee under the name of this firm name as below.
Name: ALEX AIMUAMWOSA
Destination: COTONOU BENIN REPUBLIC
Amount: Euros1,50.00
Confirm the above fee via Money Gram or Western Union Money transfer for immediate obtaining of the legal documentation, once if is done forward the information neccessary to pick up the fee to me as soon as posible.
Since you mentioned that ou can not come down you are advice to give me Power of Attorney to endorse the neccessary signning on your behalf.
I well your positive resposne as to extend my duty forward without further delay.
Best Regards
Barrister Edafe George



Malcolm Reynolds

Mr George,
Now I'm even more confused - what are you asking for? $1200 for demurrage, or 1,050 (or 150) Euros for documents?
Make up your gorram mind!
If you want a power of attorney, you'd better send me the wording you need.
Malcolm Reynolds



Abdul Kabiru

10 August 2006

Sir,
We are Royal Precious Security Company Holing your consignment in our possession, Barrister Edafe George is the Company accredited attorney that is recommended to act on your behalf as if you where physically present here to obtain the said legal documents to legalize your claim.
We are working as instruct from the Letter of Mandate
You are advice to follow is step to proceed further.
Regards and Good luck
Abdul



Malcolm Reynolds

Mr Kabiru,
Just one question - if Edafe George was your choice of barrister all along, why did you put yourself forward for that role?
Malcolm Reynolds



Edafe George

11 August 2006

Sir,
We are talking of offical cost to procure the required documents amount euros1,050.00 only (One Thousand Fifty Euros only).
I wait to confirm the legal fee for the issuance of the documents on your behalf.
confirm the remittance information as soon as is done.
Best Regards
Barrister Edafe George
Miss Blessing Paul

11 August 2006

Daddy,
Have you contact the lawyer to roceed on the documnetation?
Blessing



Malcolm Reynolds

Mr George,

Two points:
[1] I will not send money without a formal invoice from you.
[2] I do not trust Western Union - I am exploring alternate avenues.
I will be in touch.
Malcolm Reynolds



Malcolm Reynolds

Blessing,
Yes I have. I will keep you posted.
Malcolm



What the hell is he doing coming back?

Anthony Wells (or Sir Anthony Wells)

11 August 2006

Sir,
Hello sorry for my late response,i have been out of town to attend board of trustee meeting in South Asia,meanwhile i need full details from you in other to get along with miss Blessing fund as you know there are series of Document that will be requested from the bank.
your sincerely
Akwaba Chamber



Malcolm Reynolds

Mr Wells,
You'll get no details from me as you were fired from this task over ten days ago. Both Ms Paul and I were in full agreement on this matter.
Malcolm Reynolds



Edafe George

12 August 2006

Attn: Mr. Malcolm,
This is to acknowledge the receipt of your mail with two questions demanded from these chambers to proceed.
Back to your request.
Could you address to me your kind of Invoice you need to send the fee?
Is Western Union not safe for you to remit the fee?
I will suggest you come up with your option that will suitable for you to remit the Euros1, 050.00 now and Monday to secure delay out of line, for your information will suggest you send the fee via Western Union to enable pick up same day to proceed on the documentation in your favor.
If you should send it by bank transfer note that it takes 21 good days to clear here, that will attract delay and more demurrage which is not too good, Miss. Blessing Paul was in my office Yesterday morning I told her to contact you about the fee that it better for you to send the fee as fast as possible to speed up the process against next week for urgent release of your consignment to you.
Alternative way if you don't trust this office can avail an offshore account to you to make the payment in Dublin Affiliated Branch Office.
If the Invoice is necessary kindly let me know the terms you want it or I can draft letter of Guarantee assuring you that every thing will work out as plan.
Best Regards
Barrister Edafe George



Malcolm Reynolds

Mr George,
Is this some sort of joke? Do you seriously admit to not knowing what an invoice is? Or that your office doesn't have a proforma invoice in stock?
I don't care what pressure Ms Paul is putting you under; she has no right to give you orders. You do what I say. Are we clear?
So send me an invoice. A letter of guarantee is not good enough. As for a bank transfer taking 21 days to clear, I simply do not believe you. No bank on earth could afford to be so slow.
The sending of money is not affected one whit by where your office is. I don't care if the office is in Dublin, Medicine Hat, or Ulan Bator. I have major reservations about Western Union's standard service - period! I will be enquiring about possible secure methods; when I find one that satisfies me, I will contact you again.
Malcolm Reynolds



Edafe George

13 August 2006

Attn Mr. Malcolm,
This is not a joke just want to be sure of what you are saying, in that case i will make the Proforma Invoice ready and send across to you as soon as possible for your attention.
Meanwhile your partner Miss. Blesing Paul never push me she only said that how is every thing going that is all, anyway the Proforma Invoice will avail to you as soon as possible to proceed wit the payment.
As for the Letter of Guarantee will cancelled that as you said.
Best Regards
Edafe



Malcolm Reynolds

Mr George,
So where the hell is that gorram invoice? Come on, move your rutting ass! In the time since you sent this, the Marines took Tarawa!
Get on with it IMMEDIATELY!
Malcolm Reynolds


This was sent on the 17th. For the record, Tarawa is a Pacific archipelago where the US Navy and Marines fought a very tough battle in early 1943. In a way it was a precursor to battles like Iwo Jima, and has a proud place in Marine Corps history.


Malcolm Reynolds

Blessing,
How are you, cupcake?
The lawyer is proving about as much use as a rubber bayonet. Three days and still no answer. Not happy, Mr George!
I have to go to court today. I'll be thinking about you.
Malcolm



Malcolm Reynolds


Mr George, It has been SIX DAYS since you promised me an invoice. Is this your idea of "as soon as possible"?
Do it now or you are out of this business!
Malcolm Reynolds



Malcolm Reynolds

Blessing,
The lawyer's done nothing and you've not sent me a word in over a week.
What's happening?
Malcolm



Edafe George

19 August 2006

Sir,
Note that your request is not yet understood correctly, you are demanding for Invoice which i asked you to stated to my understanding, receipt can be issue on your name upo cinfirmation of the fee reuired for the documentation.
If you requested for Application form stating the amount which you will fill that can be don fast.
Alternatively i will send you an account to pay the fee.
This is all we can do thaks
Edafe



Malcolm Reynolds

Mr George,
What the hell are you talking about?
Six days ago you wrote, "i will make the Proforma Invoice ready and send across to you as soon as possible for your attention". So I waited. You didn't send me the invoice that you said you'd send.
Now you seem to be claiming that you never meant what you gorram well said.
Listen up; send me the invoice or I will tell the Royal Precious Security Company to get another rutting lawyer.
Malcolm Reynolds



Miss Blessing Paul

20 August 2006

Daddy,
Nothing is happening is just that i don't really know your true position in this transaction honestly, my lawyer said you demanded fore an invoice to do what?
Remember since when we started this transaction, by now we would have be together planing ahead futrure on how to invest the Money honestly, well in this case i have just decided to tell you that Monday morning i will tell the lawyer to send you account as to pay in the fee that will be use to obtain the documents.Since you don't trust Western Union hope is ok.
If you still insist then i will know that you do not care about my life at all, want you to understand that my life is most important thereforee you should follow the steps to enable the successful end of this matter soon.
Blessing



Malcolm Reynolds

Blessing,
Your attitude is showing again, young lady. I don't like it when you don't act your age. And you have no reason to be badgering the lawyer. In fact, if he's telling you what's happening between him and me then he's in breach of attorney-client privilege as far as I'm concerned.
Stay away from Edafe George, Blessing, that's an order!
I do not want you to contact him from here on, no matter what. Are we clear?
In fact, Edafe George may well be off the case soon.
I'll be in touch.
Malcolm



Malcolm Reynolds

Mr Kabiru,
Your "legal accredited attorney" Edafe George is an incompetent bumbling slacker! I have just spent four days in hospital and come back to find that he has STILL not sent the invoice that he promised. As far as I'm concerned, he's off this case. Get another lawyer!
Malcolm Reynolds



Malcolm Reynolds

Mr George,
You're off this business as of now.
I have instructed Royal Precious to find a new lawyer.
That is all.
Malcolm Reynolds



Malcolm Reynolds

Blessing,
You're giving me the silent treatment again. Why?
I've been in hospital for four days after the pins in my legs turned out to be imperfectly placed. I came back and found nothing from Edafe George (who I've just fired) and nothing from you.
I don't give a damn about Edafe George, but I do care about you.
Malcolm


But nothing came back...
Tout casse, tout lasse, tout passe - or (roughly) everything breaks, everything stagnates, everything passes away.
Oh well, it was fun while it lasted!



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