Scam o Rama presents The Lads From Lagos


you know the score, jump to the first 125 scam letters...

September 2001: New parts of the site will be organized by theme. The first new theme is "The Targets Strike Back" (there will be a snappier name eventually). The first entry is a brilliant exchange of e-mails between a Lad and his proposed Target. Guess who turned out to be smarter and funnier - or just visit Mild Mannered Target versus The Lads From Mars, er, Lagos (or Palm Springs, who really knows).

August 2001: If you know it all and just want recent names, try August tidbits or see the various names tried out by Lads, which may or may not refer to real people and which they may or may not have the right to use. If you haven't been here before, all is explained below.

April 2001: Hundreds of letters await review, including one (count it, one) letter accusing ScamORama of fraud for posting these letters, and threatening ScamORama with prison. For the humor-deprived: these letters are here to make it obvious, if it wasn't already, that they are scams. 4% say "I was almost fooled till I saw this site, thank you." 95% say, basically, "ha ha! what an obvious scam, and here's another". 0.5% say "couldn't mine be real? The names aren't exactly the same, and the amount isn't exactly the same..." and 0.5% don't get the point at all. Sigh... Stay safe out there.


Dear Sir, Request for Urgent Business Relationship

These letters were sent to people we know or who have contacted Scam O Rama. The sender purports to be a government employee, or banker, or the toadie of a formerly powerful family, who wants to cut you, and only you, in on the financial deal of a lifetime, and in return, wants the number of your bank account. (!)

Translated painfully into plain English, the writer claims to be in a position to skim public accounts if only you will help. The real scam is on anyone who responds. There is no money to be laundered - except yours. The Lads from Lagos swear you to secrecy ( yes, via e-mail, but apparently some people fall for this stuff ). They tell you that palms must be greased. They ask for chunks of money with which to do the greasing. A few K here, a few K there... eventually you sour on the deal, and retire to lick your wounds. If it goes further, and they get you over to Nigeria (or wherever), picture yourself in a hotel room in bustling Lagos, lost, surrounded by people who no longer seem so friendly, the phone isn't working... yeesh! Such a situation was described in the newspapers a few years back. The Bank of Nigeria published a warning in The Economist about it.

Setting aside the writer's attempt to rob you and (going through the mental contortions necessary to take the letter at face value) to steal from his own country, the letters are funny. Read them out loud at parties and see. They may constitute a special literary genre. Many have actually been received or forwarded numerous times, with different names & numbers. A scamology is underway. Meanwhile, here, for your amusement, and as a warning, is the received literary oeuvre to date of the Lads from Lagos. Newer items are toward the bottom.


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THE FIRST 125

1-20 | 21-40 | 41-60 | 61-80 | 81-100 | 101-120 | 121-140

1. Request for Urgent Business Relationship (Alhaji D. Bayero)
2. Strictly Confidential (Dr. Andrew A. Okoya)
3. Return of Request for Urgent Business Relationship (Harriman Awele)
4. Strictly Confidential (Mr. Nat Chuka)
5. Son of Urgent Business Relationship
6. From Engr. Sadiq Dan-Musa
7. From the Tender Committee
8. Request of Busines Collaboration (Chief Emeka Chukwu)
9. Urgent Business Relationship (sigh) (Dr. Bodex Iyere)
10. Business Proposal (Dr. Stolen Name, B.Sc, M.Sc. Ph. D MNIM, MCIA)
11. Business Proposal (Dr. Pat Gbens B.Sc.,M.Sc.Ph.D MNIM,MCIA)
12. Attention President/CEO (Kayode Bello)
13. Participatory Financial Transaction (Engr. Bruno Adams)
14. Urgent and Beneficial (Dr. Usman Bello)
15. Business Proposal (Bello again)
16. Business Proposal (Egobia Jude)
17. Strictly confidential/Urgent (Bello Abubakar)
18. Yours faithfully Joe Obaseki
19. Sign and Stamp Peter Usman and Alhaji Haruna
20. Yours faithfully Mr Charles Ibru

1-20 | 21-40 | 41-60 | 61-80 | 81-100 | 101-120 | 121-140

21. From Dr. Kotoko Kassim
22. Capital Flight (Olu Jacobs/Dr shafi.L.obajare)
23. Petroleum Trust Fund (Dada Bello)
24. Confidential Business Proposal (Olamide Davies)
25. Overinvoiced accounts, yada yada [Dr. Odu Kabba]
26. The suffering masses of the Niger Delta (Kenneth Birabi [P.hd])
27. Mr. John Abah wants to give you 5% of $30.5million!
28. Usman Bello, or is it Bako ..to the tune of US$21.5M [ also Dr. Teco Aloma, Dr. Moses Ukuta, Dr. Usman Atiko ]
29. Engr. Alex Edusa, or is it Edu ..to the tune of US$21.5M
30. Life Time Opportunity from Dr. Idiamo
31. offshore account anywhere safe
32. FIFA World Youth Championship (Dr. Yussuf)
33. Urgent Business Execution (gulp) (Abu Waziri)
34. Request for Assistance (Alhaji Hassan Y. Mohammed)
35. Although this letter may come to you as a surprise... (Mr Hakeem Suleiman)
36. Although this letter may come to you as a surprise... (Dr. Hassan Ahmed)
37. Compliments of the season (Dr. Shehu Bin)
38. Trust Fund for Alms and Ammunition (Omar El-Dagash, Lukmon Idris)
39. This contract was over invoiced (Dr. Sheriff Lawal)
40. The nature of your business is not particularly relevant (Dr. Kingsley Ude)

1-20 | 21-40 | 41-60 | 61-80 | 81-100 | 101-120 | 121-140

41. We did over-inflate the contracts (Mr. Kingsley Chiugo)
42. Floating in the suspense account [Mr. Mark Yemego]
43. we will not want to miss this opportunity [Dr. Patrick Osunde]
44. Dr. Ahmed Sani wants your money (ditto Dr. Mahmud Sule, Dr. Pepple Ada, Dr. Aminu Tanko)
45. In search of a reliable and reputable person ( Dada Musa )
46. Major Hamza AL- Mustapha is currently being detained (Taiwo Adams)
47. I was to meet you in your country in the course of a government delegation (Francis Osshoma, Ph.D.)
48. capital investment [Martins Opara]
49. quote this reference number (ve/s/09/99) in all your responses [Dr. Philip Giwa]
50. My letter may come to you as surprise (Dr. Benjamin Luwa)
51. My brother Maj. Hamza El-Mustapha and his mistress in Lebanon [Col. Zaki El-Mustapha (RTD.)]
52. NNPC and Ghana liquefied gas project [ Mr. Tunde Darocha ]
53. Harcourt and Warri refineries [ Dr.El-Baba Linkon Ph.D,FNSE,mni ]
54. When I consulted the internet...your contact email came out [ Saliu Mukhail ]
55. my only hope now is this available us$50,000,000 cash ( Lady Maryam Abacha )
56. Nigerian football association, $12.8M [ Prince Adeola Hopewell ]
57. Federal Government Contract Review Panel ( Dr Paul Obi / Dr Solomon Igbo / Mr Henry Aigbe )
58. Communication via Email is insecure for this Deal [ Usman Bello ]
59. let Honesty and Trust be our watchword throughout this transaction ( Dr. Sammy Eze )
60. the safety of our various families matters most [ Usman Bello ]

1-20 | 21-40 | 41-60 | 61-80 | 81-100 | 101-120 | 121-140

61. $20M lying around going to waste [Mr. Michael Okon]
62. Nigerian Federal Ministry of Works and Housing - a measly $16.5M [Ike Olarotimi (Engr)]
63. the trust reposed in you at this juncture is enormous (DR. Okonkwo Yemego)
64. we have been reliably informed of your honesty and ability [Dr. Adams Powell]
65. Confidentiality is our watchword, mutual trust is our beacon. (Dr. Usman Bello)
66. I am Dr. Fred Ikem, king of stings. Look upon my works, ye mighty...
67. Call me tomorrow...so that we can get intimated [ Dr. Chris Okonkwo ]
68. Federal Government Contract Review Panel with bells on ( Dr. T. S. Adepipe )
69. My getting your address is the handwork of almighty God [ Dr. Henry Emeka Oha ]
70. this point of Victory, which is not too far away ( Engr. Garuba Bello )
71. in my search for a trust worthy and sincere person [ Engr. Peter Jacobs ]
72. Bello rides again: something went wrong with his Swiss bank account
73. I am a staff in the Federal Ministry of Mines and Power ( Frank Odili )
74. I was a moslem until a 18months ago when the master Jesus met me [ Audu Bamiayi ]
75. ...in preference to demanding or accepting bribes and kickbacks (Dr. D. Osayi)
76. Though my father died a natural death ( Lamin Bangura )
77. Ministry of Petroleum Resources, $30M [ Dr. Demola Johnson ]
78. oblige me details of your bank account [ Engr. Sani Muyiwa ]
79. a suitable percentage (%) will be mapped out ( Usman Tanko/Tanko Usman )
80. please keep trying till you get through ( Mr. Ben Alabi (MNIM) )

1-20 | 21-40 | 41-60 | 61-80 | 81-100 | 101-120 | 121-140

81. the operational word here are secrecy and confidentiality [ Prince Dr. Williams Amadi ]
82. Save Our Soul - 30% of $300M ( Zinab Abacha )
83. my country has no reward for hard labour and honesty [ Dr. Joseph Wayas ]
84. please treat it like a blood brother affair ( Dr. Chinaka Steve )
85. I am only trying my best not to be noticed by my government. [ Saleem Abdulsalami Abubakar, Dr., Uche J. Williams ]
86. It might surprise you why we choose you ( Dr. Jude Obi )
87. It is with heartful hope that I write [ Mrs. Anne Henri K. Bedie ]
88. this is only known to you, myself, and the widow Mrs. Maryam Abach ( Musa Muazu )
89. Nigerian Ministry of Aviation $36M [ Mr. Joe Wilson ]
90. Upon the recommendation of your goodself - 30/10/60 of $32M [ Bello Giwa ]
91. Through tenacious effort and well-expanded energy - 25/65/20 of $43.5M, hike! ( Dr. Sunday Okereke )
92. payable by solar draft or cheque in your name $17.3M [ Murtala Orinami ]
93. trustworthy businessman-qualities which are hard to find ( Mr. Paul Onyema, p.h.d Holder )
94. Of a Lori, to a Lori, Olori [ Engr. Richard Olori ]
95. Ein Ausländer, Verstorbene Ingenieur Johnson Creek ( Mr. Ade Olatude, Diplom Kaufman odudu ola )
96. Johnson Creek's hearse rides again... [ Paul Isimeme ]
97. Advise on lucrative areas for investment ($14.3M) [ Engr. Abel Ubekwu ]
98. ...the care of an obscure foreigner ( Amadi Howells ESQ / Polo Anyanwu / Estelle Djeri / Linda Akabo / Ahmed Tanko )
99. I need your assistance urgently - Orient Petroleum ( Martins Osagie / Alego Hassan ?)
100. All I request from you is a foreign account [ Dr. Ola Akins ]

1-20 | 21-40 | 41-60 | 61-80 | 81-100 | 101-120 | 121-140

101. FMPMR - a measly $18.6M ( Dr. Andrew Onyeije )
102. Bye and God Bless [ Dr. Emeka Bako ]
103. O, woe is me - 25% of $31M ( Dr. Jacob Owo )
104. That's Johnson JUAN Creek [ Rafiu Momoh ]
105. ...deep business relationship ( Dr. Rufai Garba )
106. Former chief chemist of the NNPC [ Pastor John Owo (b.Eng.Chem) ]
107. Undeclared windfall sales of crude oil, 30% of $15.5M ( Pat Uche )
108. Total ignorance of the business world, 20% of $22,054,000 (Lucky Kennedy)
109. Return of Turn Around Maintenance, 25% of $24M [ Mr. Phillip Asiodu ]
110. Thank you and God bless, 10% of $20M ( Dr Olu Cole )
111. Request for Assistance, National Economic Planning Commission, 30% of $18.36M [ Dr Paul B. Giwa ]
112. We believe that good people like you still exist in this world, 40% of $35M ( Dr Usman Musa )
113. A new life: Sweet heart, My name is [ Sanni Ahmed ]
114. My deepest prayers for you - 30% of $20M ( Mustapha Hassan )
115. I am not so vast in huge investment opportunities ( Mr. Michel Bumbo )
116. But this one is different, really! 10% of $20.1M - after tax [ John Momoh ]
117. I will not want my identity revealed [ Mrs. P. Mobutu Sese-Seko ]
118. Very urgent, please self my soul ( Susan Usman Bello / Mariam B. Wase? )
119. Mrs. Abacha gets a PhD ( ?% of $50M )[ Dr (Mrs.) Maryam Abacha ]
120. Ministry of Mines, Sierra Leone - 25% of $36.5M ( Captain Smart Ahmmed )

1-20 | 21-40 | 41-60 | 61-80 | 81-100 | 101-120 | 121-140

121. To be precise, I am David Johnson - 10% of $85M [ David Johnson ]
122. Return of Nigerian football association, some unknown % of $12.8M ( Dr. Dele Johnson )
123. Petroleum trust fund money release order - 27% of $32.7M [ Dr. Sam Okobi ]
124. Sierra-Leone Mining Co-operation, $30M (Paul Williams)
125. This is our life and I trust you with it [ Mariam Bola Wase ]

Your contribution?


NOTES

1     We do not have law enforcement information. We collect the letters because they are funny, and because they keep coming; we have no plans to interfere with them directly. We are however happy to cooperate with law enforcement. Try State Department (general warning), Treasury Department, Project 419 Coalition OR Better Business Bureau (you can search their site with appropriate keywords for articles on the scam).

2     These people are asking you to STEAL. Of course there is nothing to be stolen, except from you, but they are counting on your greed. If you get mixed up with them, whom do you expect to rescue you? Don't even contact them.

3     Nothing here should be taken for dislike of the Nigerian nation and its various peoples, or as a suggestion that there are no scam artists in other countries.

4     If you receive something equally funny from the Lads and want it posted here, send it on. (Text only please, graphics load too slowly.) Your name will NOT be mentioned.

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