Another communiqué from Brother Mark! Brother Mark Knopfler maintains the spiritual retreat known as the Church of the Sultans of Swing. His exploits have graced Scamorama many times, most recently in WHEN LIFE HANDS YOU A LEMON. He has also collaborated on Foreign Office productions, such as the long-running A REAL CHARLIE and UNITED WE LAUGH.

Hows things? I hope I find you scamomungously tiptoptastic. I am pleased to introduce a new member of my organisation, Dr Runny Schitz, world renowned rectal proctologist and all round man with a fascination of peoples bums and excretions from them. Here is his first effort.. so far..

CAST
Yakudu Ahmed - first-tier scam-o-Lad
Michael Dikko - foreign remittance Lad, bringing up the rear
versus
Dr. Runny Schitz, world renowned rectal proctologist (every spiritual retreat needs one)

[Classic scam elements are highlighted.]


Mr. Yakudu Ahmed
Received: from [41.203.229.10] by web1112.biz.mail.sk1.yahoo.com via HTTP; Fri, 10 Oct 2008 12:42:40 PDT
Date: Fri, 10 Oct 2008
From: "Mr.YAKUDU AHMED" <iss1@yakubu.net>
Reply-To: issiahmed9@hotmail.fr
Subject: WITH DUE RESPECT
To: iss1@yakubu.net

FROM Mr. YAKUDU AHMED
BILL AND EXCHAGE MANAGER
FOREIGN REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT
BANK OF AFRICA ( BOA)
BURKINA FASO WEST AFRICA

DEAR FRIEND,
COMPLIMENTS,
I AM WRITING TO SEEK YOUR COOPERATION OVER THIS BUSINESS PROPOSAL. FIRST I MUST SOLICIT YOUR CONFIDENCE IN THIS TRANSACTION; THIS IS BY VIRTUE OF ITS NATURE AS BEING UTTERLY CONFIDENTIAL AND TOP SECRET. THOUGH I KNOW THAT A TRANSACTION OF THIS MAGNITUDE WILL MAKE ANY ONE APPREHENSIVE AND WORRIED, BUT I AM ASSURING YOU THAT ALL WILL BE WELL AT THE END OF THE DAY.

I HAVE DECIDED TO CONTACT YOU DUE TO THE URGENCY OF THIS TRANSACTION, LET ME START BY INTRODUCING MYSELF PROPERLY TO YOU. I AM MR YAKUDU AHMED A MANAGER WITH THE BANK OF AFRICA( BOA), OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO, AFRICA.
I CAME TO KNOW YOU IN MY PRIVATE SEARCH FOR A RELIABLE AND REPUTABLE PERSON TO HANDLE THIS CONFIDENTIAL TRANSACTION, WHICH INVOLVES THE TRANSFER OF HUGE SUM OF MONEY TO A FOREIGN ACCOUNT REQUIRING MAXIMUM CONFIDENCE.

IN MY DEPARTMENT, WE DISCOVERED AN ABANDONED SUM OF$15MILLION USD(FIFTEEN MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS.)ONLY, IN AN ACCOUNT THAT BELONGS TO ONE OF OUR FOREIGN CUSTOMERS WHO DIED ALONG WITH HIS ENTIRE FAMILY IN A PLANE CRASH THAT TOOK PLACE IN KENYA, EAST AFRICA, THE BANK NOW EXPECTS A NEXT OF KIN AS BENEFICIARY. VALUABLE EFFORTS ARE BEING MADE BY THE BANK TO GET IN TOUCH WITH ANY OF THE BRUMLEYS REMAINING FAMILY OR RELATIVES BUT ALL TO NO SUCCESS. THE LATE DR. GEORGE BRUMLEY,A CITIZEN OF ATLANTA,UNITED STATES OF AMERICA IS A KNOWN PHILANTROPIST IN,

WEST AFRICA AND THE WHOLE AFRICAN CONTINENT SINCE WE GOT INFORMATION ABOUT HIS DEATH, WE HAVE BEEN EXPECTING HIS NEXT OF KIN TO COME OVER AND CLAIM HIS MONEY BECAUSE IT CANNOT BE RELEASED UNLESS SOMEBODY APPLIES FOR IT AS NEXT OF KIN OR RELATION TO THE DECEASED AS INDICATED IN OUR BANKING GUIDELINES BUT UNFORTUNATELY ALL HIS SUPPOSED NEXT OF KIN OR RELATION DIED ALONGSIDE WITH HIM AT THE PLANE CRASH LEAVING NOBODY BEHIND FOR THE CLAIM. IT IS THEREFORE UPON THIS DISCOVERY THAT I NOW DECIDED TO MAKE THIS BUSINESS PROPOSAL TO YOU AND RELEASE THE MONEY TO YOU VIA YOUR FOREIGN BANK ACCOUNT AS THE NEXT OF KIN OR RELATION TO THE DECEASED FOR SAFETY AND SUBSEQUENT DISBURSEMENT SINCE NOBODY IS COMING FOR IT AND IT IS BECAUSE OF THE PERCEIVED POSSIBILITY OF NOT BEING ABLE TO LOCATE ANY OF LATE BRUMLEYS S NEXT KIN (HE DIED WITH HIS ENTIRE FAMILY MEMBERS) . THE BANKING LAW AND GUIDELINE HERE STIPULATES THAT IF SUCH MONEY REMAINED UNCLAIMED AFTER SEVEN YEARS, THE MONEY WILL BE TRANSFERRED INTO THE BANK TREASURY AS UNCLAIMED FUND THE REQUEST FOR YOUR ASSISTANCE AND MAXIMUM CO-OPERATION AS A FOREIGN CITIZEN TO STAND AS THE NEXT OF KIN IN THIS BUSINESS IS OCCASIONED BY THE FACT THAT THE DECEASED CUSTOMER WAS A FOREIGNER AND A BURKINABE CANNOT STAND AS NEXT OF KIN TO A FOREIGNER.

THE SHARING OF THE FUND ARE THUS: 30% FOR YOU THE ACCOUNT OWNER,60% FOR I AND MY TRUSTED COLLEAGUES AND THE REMAINING 10% FOR EXPENSES FOR BOTH PARTIES. IF THIS PROPOSAL IS ACCEPTABLE BY YOU, DO NOT MAKE UNDUE ADVANTAGE OF THE TRUST WE HAVE BESTOWED IN YOU.
BEST REGARDS,
Mr. YAKUDU AHMED
NOTE
YOU SHOULD CONTACT ME IMMEDIATELY ..YOU SHOULD CONTACT ME IMMEDIATELY THROUGH MY PRIVATE EMAIL ADDRESS FOR SECURITY REASONS AS SOON AS YOU RECEIVE THIS LETTER issiahmed9@hotmail.fr)
NB; PLEASE, VISIT THE WEBSITE BELOW FOR MORE INFORMATION'S ABOUT THE PLANE CRASH AND THE TRAGIC DEATH OF THE DECEASED AND HIS ENTIRE FAMILY, LATE DR.GEORGE BRUMLEY.
http://www.cnn.com/2003/WORLD/africa/07/20/kenya.crash/index.html

[This is your basic Dead Bank Customer letter.]

[Good old George Brumley. Have not heard from one of his bankers for a while]

Dr. Runny Schitz
Date: Mon, 13 Oct 2008

Dear Mr Hamhed

Trust status hospitals , like ourselves at St Phlegms, are always on the look out for extra funding. I will do my utmost to facilitate your requirements.

Remain firm and solid

Dr. Runny Schitz
Rectal Proctology
St Phlegms Hospital
Anal Probing Department (Back door)
Wrecktum Road
Lower Bottom
Mr. Yakudu Ahmed
Received: from [41.203.232.227] by web46406.mail.sp1.yahoo.com via HTTP; Tue, 14 Oct 2008
Date: Tue, 14 Oct 2008
From: issi Ahmed <issiahmed19@yahoo.com>

Subject: Details from YAKUDU AHMED

Dear Friend,

Thanks for your mail and Before i proceed on, i have to let you know that i will be very happy to share this transaction with you knowing fully well that you shall assist me for the success ..

i advice you to be contacting me through the above email address for security reasons and for your information i contacted you for your good assistance towards helping me in this matter for the benefit of our both families.

Listen, this is to let you know that the transaction is right and of which it is 100% legal as i have undergroundly done all the neccessary arrangement as to ensure 100% risk free of which i made a prayer on your behalf, Before i decided to contact and choose you based on this very transaction and this is why i have trusted and select you and made you the controller of the fund so bear in mind that you are free to discuss options that might be good for both of our families, But the most important thing is to join hands togather for the success so i want you to assist me to your best ability so as to achived our aim.

Now i will like to introduce myself to you , I am a Burkinabe, I held from region called Kadiago in Burkina Faso,I schooled at university of Gambia, where I had my first degree (bsc.Hons ) in banking and finance, and also my masters degree in (MBA) in the same university in commercial law ,finally the university honoured me with doctorate a ward certificate as a doctor due to the legacy I left behind , that is why today I am doctor by a word.

I am 45 years of age happily married with good looking wife who also work with an insurance firm here in Burkina Faso, we have two children, I have work with the bank for over 14 years, in this bank I am the presiding manager of credit and exchange department here in the bank of Africa,I have work along way to see that I keep to my reputation in this bank, meanwhile I will like if you can maintain this transaction to the top most secrecy till this money get in to your account, after that we can meet each other and start something better as you might adviced with the money.A big time firm prissily in your country,

i have to thank you once again for your much concern and Understanding towards this transaction and this is to let you know that success shall be our birth right as long as this transaction is concern because i work in this bank and i strongly believed what i am talking about. But please do not bettray me at last when the fund shall finally goes into your account.

MeanWhile, i will like you to call me immediately you recieved this mail as to know whom i am dealling with, which i will send you an application form to fill in properly and send it to our bank through the bank email address as i will indicate in the application form.

The bank will be contacting you on the proceedures involved in transfering the fund into your account so what ever you might recieved from our bank, After applying Do not fail to let me know so that i can direct you. As i have programmed the fund be into your account.

Please Always be in contact with me through my telephone number and Also make sure that you keep every thing top secret untill this fund is transfered into your account so as to avoid any kind of exposure.

Further information: As soon as you send the application to our bank as i will direct you, please make sure you informed me by calling me through my telephone number so that i can minitor the process and start up the underground work as your insider in the bank.

l will be seriously waiting for your urgent call as to know whom i am dealling with and also to send you the application form.

proceed immediately as i directed you.

Thanks and Allah bless you.
YAKUDU AHMED
+226 78 00 75 32

[Gratuitous detail about family life is standard operating procedure. All Lads seem to have two children.]

Dr. Runny Schitz
Date: Tue, 14 Oct 2008

Dear Sissi

That was indeed a most complete and thorough email. Let me tell you a bit about me

I was born in Austria and spent my formative years dissecting frogs and the like which is what made me decide I should have a career in medicine. My fascination with ladies behinds is what made me decide to become a bottom specialist. I graduated from St Bart's in London as a doctor in 1986 and then spent 6 years as a GP before opting for a career as a specialist surgeon which I have to say has been most profitable. I was able to gain a trophy wife even though I look like the back end of a bus. We have no children but do have a cat, 3 dogs, 10 goldfish, a Llama, 6 chickens, 4 pigs, a cobra snake, 6 terrapins, 3 tarantula spiders and a funnel web spider. 10 sheep, 5 cows and 6 horses, 3 parrots (African greys) and 10 budgies, an aardvark and my favourite animal, a duck billed platypus.
We are quite busy in our social life so we employ a game keeper as our 50 acres estate requires much maintenance but Ted and Ralph manage quite well.
I love the bottom and so to spend my days inspecting them is a dream come true.

Unfortunately as I am in a jospital, we dont allow mobile phones as they interfere with all the equipment but you can email me or leave a message on my answering service and I will do my best to contact you when I am outside of work, which isnt very often as I am completely dedicated. Even my wife has a love because I am too busy much of the time.

So enough about me... whats next?

Be firm in the stool

Dr. Runny Schitz
Rectal Proctology
St Phlegms Hospital
Anal Probing Department (Back door)
Wrecktum Road
Lower Bottom
Mr. Yakudu Ahmed
Received: from [41.203.226.150] by web46415.mail.sp1.yahoo.com
Date: Tue, 14 Oct 2008
Subject: Application from YAKUDU AHMED

Dear Brother,

Thanks for your mail of which we need not to be waisting time as i have perfected the transaction to be successfull. All you need to do is to be following my directives as your insider here in this bank.

You have to be more serious in regards to this transaction because this is our life opportunity, Really i understood your positive answer in regards to this great effect and note that this is a great opportunity and for your information this is to say that success shall be our birth right as far as this transaction is concerned and as long as you will follow up my directives as your partner here.

Listen, you have to understand me in this transaction so as to acheieved our aim because this is for the benefit of our families.

With out wasting time as i have programmed the fund to be into your account within a short time and as i have gotten your good positive response towards this transaction.

Bellow is the application form which you shall fill in the gaps and submit to our bank through the bank email address as included in the application form.

Please the most important thing is to try and make sure that you call me on my telephone number immediately you send the application to the bank as i have directed so that i can monitor the process and as well start up the underground work as your partner here in the bank. Every arrangement has been done for the success so i need your full co operation so as to achieved our aim.

You have to handle this transaction to your best abiliy so that success shall be our birth right and Note that nobody knows my involvement in this transaction and this is why you must have to kept it top secret untill the fund is transfered to your account so as to avoid any kind of exposure.

Thanks from YAKUDU AHMED
00226 78 00 75 32

BELLOW IS THE APPLICATION FORM.

ATTN: DR.MICHAEL DIKKO
THE FOREIGN REMITTANCE DIRECTOR
BANK OF AFRICA (BOA)
OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO
E-MAIL: remittanceforeign@rocketmail.com

Dear Sir,

APPLICATION AS NEXT OF KIN TO ACOUNT HOLDER N: BOA: 14-2558-5976. ROUTING N: 91002211

I'm Mr...........................humbly apply to the bank as next of kin to your deceased customer, DR. GEORGE BRUMLEY and great Philantropist a citizen of Atlanta , United States of America who died in a plane crash that took place in Kenya , East Africa

I humbly apply and put claim over his balance with the bank, which is valued at US$15, millions dollars, left in his account still unclaimed, until his sudden death, we have been business associates, jointly in exposition and buying of Gold and diamond. The funds were transferred into his account through our bank, for purchase of Gold / Diamond. I wish to advise your bank to kindly return the funds to this account, details stated below:

MY Bank Name: ...........
MY Bank Address : ............
MY Account Number : ............
MY Swift Code Number:.............
MY Bank fax and phone number: ..........
MY Private fax and phone number: ........
MY E-mail address: ......
MY Occupation: ........
MY Age and sex: .......
MY Country: ............

Wishing my application will be given an urgent attention, as I wish the balance be released, and re-transferred into my account as detailed. Please accept my apologies for the late application it was due to some logistic problems, which have been just settled.

Thanking you for your anticipated co-operation.
Yours sincerely

Dr. Runny Schitz
Date: Wed, 15 Oct 2008
Dear Mr Yakidu

I am happy to complete the enclosed but you are asking me to complete your details. I don't know what your bank name is, your account number is etc. How can I complete this.....??

Please send me the following

MY Bank Name: ...........
MY Bank Address : ...........
MY Account Number : ............
MY Swift Code Number:.............
MY Bank fax and phone number: ..........
MY Private fax and phone number: .........
MY E-mail address: ......
MY Occupation: ........
MY Age and sex: .......
MY Country: ............

Then I can complete this information for you and send it to the bank. I am quite surprised that you didn't complete this for me before you sent me the form actually

Remain firm
Mr. Yakudu Ahmed
Date: Wed, 15 Oct 2008
From: issi Ahmed <issiahmed19@yahoo.com>
Subject: Clearification from YAKUDU AHMED

Dear Friend,

Thanks for your mail and i have to let you know that you are required to fill in your own details, where the fund will be transfered. so it is your informations that you need to use to fill in the application and submit to our bank here through the bank email address as i have indicated in the application form so that the fund will be transfered into your own account.

How can i fill in my own details and where did you think that the fund will be transfered into and what makes me to contact you, Is it for the fund to be transfered into your account or to my own account.

Listen, you have to understand me in this transaction or if you are not capable and willing to assist me you better let me know so that i can look for another person who will help me out of which i have made you to understand that this is not a joking matter and i will not like to be joked with..

Thanks and proceed as i have directed you by filling in the application with your own details and make sure that you submit it to our bank here as i have directed you and get me informed.

from YAKUDU AHMED
Dr. Runny Schitz
Date: Wed, 15 Oct 2008
Dear Yakudu

Then you should not put the "MY" in front of everything as without it I would have assumed you meant me. I am willing to help and assist you but I cant be responsible for your incompetance and wooly instructions. Make your instructions clear and everything will be fine. I have sent this to the bank

Remain firm and regular
Dr. Runny Schitz
Date: Wed, 15 Oct 2008

oh and by the way.. YOU DONT HAVE TO SEND EVERYTHING TWICE YOU KNOW.........
Dr. Runny Schitz

[dutifully contacting the bank]

Date: Wed, 15 Oct 2008
Subject: Re: Clearification from YAKUDU AHMED
To: remittanceforeign@rocketmail.com

ATTN: DR.MICHAEL DIKKO
THE FOREIGN REMITTANCE DIRECTOR
BANK OF AFRICA (BOA)
OUAGADOUGOU BURKINA FASO
E-MAIL: remittanceforeign@rocketmail.com

Dear Sir,

APPLICATION AS NEXT OF KIN TO ACOUNT HOLDER N: BOA: 14-2558-5976. ROUTING N: 91002211

I'm Dr. Runny Schitz humbly apply to the bank as next of kin to your deceased customer, DR. GEORGE BRUMLEY and great Philantropist a citizen of Atlanta , United States of America who died in a plane crash that took place in Kenya , East Africa

I humbly apply and put claim over his balance with the bank, which is valued at US$15, millions dollars, left in his account still unclaimed, until his sudden death, we have been business associates, jointly in exposition and buying of Gold and diamond. The funds were transferred into his account through our bank, for purchase of Gold / Diamond. I wish to advise your bank to kindly return the funds to this account, details stated below:

MY Bank Name: Allied Irish
MY Bank Address : Lower Bottom square, Wrektum
MY Account Number : The St Phlegms account number is 355264521
MY Swift Code Number: No idea. Never had to use this before
MY Bank fax and phone number: ..See Above
MY Private fax and phone number: I dont have a fax but you can call me on 447005803928
MY E-mail address: xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx@xxxxxxxxx.xx.xx
MY Occupation: Rectal Proctologist
MY Age and sex: 56 Male
MY Country: England

Wishing my application will be given an urgent attention, as I wish the balance be released, and re-transferred into my account as detailed. Please accept my apologies for the late application it was due to some logistic problems, which have been just settled.

Thanking you for your anticipated co-operation.
Yours sincerely

Dr. Runny Schitz
Rectal Proctology
St Phlegms Hospital
Anal Probing Department (Back door)
Wrecktum Road
Lower Bottom
Mr. Yakudu Ahmed
Received: from [41.203.238.115]
Date: Wed, 15 Oct 2008
Subject: from YAKUDU AHMED

Dear Friend

Thanks for your mail and i don,t know why you should ask me to make my instructions clear of which i have made you to undertstand that you are to fill in your own details in the application and send to our bank here for the release of the fund into your account.

Thanks from YAKUDU AHMED
Dr. Runny Schitz
Date: Thu, 16 Oct 2008
To: issiahmed19@yahoo.com

Dear Yakudu... or is it Issi?

Your email name is not the same as your signature? Why is this?

May your stools be as firm as Arnold Schwarzenegger Biceps

Dr. Runny Schitz
Dr. Michael Dikko

[And so the bank replies]

Received: from [41.203.237.21]
Date: Thu, 16 Oct 2008
From: Foreign Remittance <remittanceforeign@rocketmail.com>
Reply-To: remittanceforeign@rocketmail.com
Subject: ACKNOWLEDGMENT BANK OF AFRICA

BOA BOA
Foreign Remittance Department,
Bank of Africa.
770 Avenue De Kwame N'krumah Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso
OFFICIAL EMAIL: remittanceforeign@rocketmail.com
Date : 16-10-2008
. subject: ACKNOWLEDGMENT BANK OF AFRICA

ATTN: DR. RUNNY SCHITZ

THIS IS TO ACKNOWLEDGE THE RECEIPT OF YOUR APPLICATION SENT TO THIS BANK ON 15TH OCT ..2008
AS THE REAL NEXT OF KIN TO OUR DECEASED CUSTOMER DR GEORGE BRUMLEY, WHO DIED ON A PLANE CRASH WITH HIS WHOLE HOUSEHOLD.

A COMMUNICATION WILL BE DISPATCHED TO YOU ACCORDING TO THE BANKING STIPULATIONS GOVERNING ALL THE TRANSFER OF AN INHERITANCE FUND TO A NEXT OF KIN WHICH WAS AMMENDED IN THE YEAR 2002 AFTER THE BOARD OF TRUSTEES AND SHARE HOLDERS MEETING.

YOURS FAITHFULLY.

DR. MICHAEL DIKKO

FOREIGN REMITTANCE DIRECTOR (BOA).

[How efficient. They even confirm that your email has been received. Maybe its real..... nah!!! ]

Mr. Yakudu Ahmed
Received: from [41.203.237.21]
From: issi Ahmed <issiahmed19@yahoo.com>
Subject: from YAKUDU AHMED

Dear Runny Schitz,

Thanks for your mail and i have to let you know that my name is yakudu ahmed of which i use my sons name togather with my name as to open the email name.

Listen, i want you to call me on telephone of which you know that this is a very huge amount coming into your account.

Finally, i want to know if you have filled in the application form and submit to our bank as i have directed you so as to direct you on further instructions towards this matter as you know that this is our life opportunity.

Thanks YAKUDU AHMED
+226 78 00 75 32
Dr. Runny Schitz
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 2008

Hello

I have submitted the form to the bank as required. I did email you yesterday and tell you that I had done so.Please do give me a call if you wish to talk on the telephone. My number is xxxxxxxxxxx and I should be about all day

Remain firm in the stool

Dr. Runny Schitz
Dr. Runny Schitz
Date: Fri, 17 Oct 2008

Dear Yakidu

I have received an email from the bank asking for something most unusual. They want payment to re activate the account? I have never been asked for money to reactivate an account which should never have been closed in the first place. Can you pop down and speak to your people and get them to take it out of the money in the account or make the payment yourself for me, theres a good chap.

I am about to go away on a conference about some new rectal probing device. Its a cross between an enema and a douche and looks most interesting so will not be about for a couple of days so I leave it in your capable hands to sort

Remain firm and solid

Dr. Runny Schitz
Mr. Yakudu Ahmed
Received: from [41.203.232.26]
Date: Sat, 18 Oct 2008
From: issi Ahmed <issiahmed19@yahoo.com>
Subject: from YAKUDU AHMED

Dear Runny Schitz

Thanks for your mail and i have to let you know that i am very sorry for not be able to respond qiuckly to your message.

i am very suprise as you told me that you recieve an email by the bank asking for somthing most unusual of which the bank can never ask for somthing most unusual, when you know that the bank is an insitution and not an individual.

If the bank want payment to re-active the account does not means that the bank ask for something most unusual, because i strongly believe that the bank is working according to the rules and regulations and for the bank to ask you to re-activate the account which might be necessary for the transfer of the fund into your account. i am only happy as the bank have positively responded back to you on their banking proceedures involved in transfering the fund into your account.

Re-activating an account is not when the account has been close, Rather it is when the account has been long in operating it so diffinately the account has being dormant for years.

Notwitstanding, you have to abide to the bank instructions as the next of kin to the deceased customer by acting as they have directed for the fund to be effectively be transfered into your account.

i began to wonder the kind of person you are based on my explanations towards this matter because i made you to know that nobody knows my involvement as far as this transaction is concern of which i do not know why you should ask me to tell my people to take the money out from the said amount and secondly according to the rules and regulations of west african commercial banks, inherittance funds are undeductable untill it reaches to the owner as the next of kin. Listen i am the person that approached you for this business as a banker inside the bank here and i am here to direct you on how to proceed for the success so i advice you to proceed as i have directed you by acting as the bank have instructed you for the fund to be transfered into your account.

i am very broke for the moment of which i could have made the payment my self by sending my wife inlaw to go and hand over the money to the bank on your behalf, But i have invested all my life time earning before i could be able to bring the transaction to this very level so please your assistance is highly needed so that the fund can be transfered.

Thanks and proceed as i have directed you and also make sure that you get me informed immediately you comply to the bank instructions so that i can monitor the process when transfering the fund into your account. Can you also informed me how much the bank ask you for the re-activation so that i can put it in my own record because the expences you made will be taking out from the amount as soon as the fund is transfered, before sharing and investing on your area of business.

From YAKUDU AHMED.
Dr. Runny Schitz
Date: Mon, 20 Oct 2008
To: issiahmed19@yahoo.com

Now look here. As you say "YOU CONTACTED ME" and therefore YOU are the one who should be organising these things for me. I am already risking enough by continuing with your scheme, which regardless of what you say seems to be a very grey area to say the least.

Get the bank to resend the documents and I will get onto it

Remain firm and solid

Dr. Runny Schitz
Mr. Yakudu Ahmed
Received: from [41.203.229.137]
Date: Mon, 20 Oct 2008
From: issi Ahmed <issiahmed19@yahoo.com>

Dear Runny Schitz,

Thanks for your mail and before i proceed on, i have to let you know that there is no way i can get the bank to re-send the document so as to avoid any kind of suspecious of which i made you to understand that nobody knows my involvement in regards to this transaction.

i advice you to contact the bank your self and ask them to resend the document as to follow up their instructions so that the account will be reactivated for the fund to be release to your bank account.

Really, i contacted you for your good assistance so that the fund can be transfered into your account of which it is for the benefit of our families and i am here to direct you on how to proceed for the success so please you have to understand me as your partner of which i have explain every of my regarding situation to you for your better understanding.

i have severally made you to know that this is 100% risk free transaction so you need not to fear or worry about as i have undergroundly perfected it to be successfull as your insider here in the bank.

Thanks for your assistance and i advice you to contact the bank and ask them to re-send the document as to follow up their instructions.

Thanks once again for your kind understands.
from YAKUDU AHMED
Dr. Runny Schitz
Date: Mon, 20 Oct 2008

Dear Yukudu

Ok. I will find their email address and ask them to send it again. Can I ask a favour from you though.. PLEASE STOP SENDING EVERYTHING TWICE!!!! You are like a self repeating anal prolapse and piles. Itchy and irritating, please stop.

Remain solid in the stool

Dr. Runny Schitz
Dr. Runny Schitz

[contacts the bank again]

Date: Mon, 20 Oct 2008
Subject: To whom it may concern
To: remittanceforeign@rocketmail.com

I have had a problem with my email and am unable to find the documents you sent me. Please resend them so I can complete them for you

Remain solid and firm in the stool

Dr. Runny Schitz
Dr. Michael Dikko
Received: from [41.203.236.124] by web28216.mail.ukl.yahoo.com via HTTP; Mon, 20 Oct 2008
Date: Mon, 20 Oct 2008
From: Foreign Remittance <remittanceforeign@rocketmail.com>
Subject: ATT/ DR. RUNNY SCHITZ/ BANK OF AFRICA

BOA BOA
Foreign Remittance Department,
Bank of Africa.
770 Avenue De Kwame N'krumah Ouagadougou, Burkina Faso
OFFICIAL EMAIL: remittanceforeign@rocketmail.com

Date : 20-10-2008
. subject: RE-ACTIVATION BANK OF AFRICA

ATTN: DR. RUNNY SCHITZ

THIS IS TO BRING TO YOUR NOTIFICATION THAT WE HAVE GONE THROUGH THE FILE JACKET OF OUR DECEASED CUSTOMER DR GEORGE BRUMLEY, AFTER OUR BOARD OF DIRECTORS MEETING HELD CONCERNING YOUR CLAIM.

HOW EVER, I WAS DIRECTED TO INFORMED YOU THAT THE ACCOUNT HAS BEEN DORMANT FOR YEARS SO YOU ARE REQUIRED TO RE-ACTIVAT THE ACCOUNT WITH THE SUM OF ($2,100) US DOLLARS ONLY ACCORDING TO OUR BANKING RULES AND REGULATIONS.

BECAUSE OF TIME FACTOR, YOU ARE REQUIRED TO PAY THROUGH WESTERN UNION MONEY TRANSFER WITH THE NAME OF OUR ACCOUNT OFFICER (MR. CHUKWUNEYE INNOCENT AGOMAH) TO ENABLE US APPROVED AND COMMERCE WITH THE TRANSFER OF YOUR INHERITTANCE FUND INTO YOUR DESIGNATED BANK ACCOUNT.

YOURS FAITHFULLY.

DR. MICHAEL DIKKO
FOREIGN REMITTANCE DIRECTOR (BOA).

[For the scam-o-puzzled: this means that someone named (or using the name) Chukwuneye Innocent Agomah intends to show up at Western Union and walk away with a nice anonymous money order, thus completing the scam.]

Dr. Runny Schitz
Date: Tue, 21 Oct 2008
Subject: Re: ATT/ DR. RUNNY SCHITZ/ BANK OF AFRICA
To: remittanceforeign@rocketmail.com

Dear Michael Dikk

I am not familiar with this Western Union of which you speak but surely I can transfer the money into a bank account with speed? Whatever service they offer can be offered just as easily at my bank so I can transfer the money into yours. Please explain what Western Union is.

We are keen to obtain this money as we are funding the building of a new rectal examination wing, a bit like a flying wing. This microscopic device will fly about up your anus a bit like the submarine in the Fantastic Voyage. It really is most exciting so please respond to me urgently

Remain solid and firm Dr. Runny Schitz
 

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