WATER UNDER A BRISBANE BRIDGE


Sheila Bundee is back! June featured her encounter with "Ehi", a Nigerian Lad, in (SHARP AS AN ECHIDNA).
Here she spends seven hours of quality chat time with "Ihe".
Ihe was apparently nervous around a woman who likes to sleep with her pet python.

Sheila is a wealthy 47-year-old Australian koala farmer, lonely and single but "always sharp as an echidna".
In her pics, Sheila bears an amazing resemblance to Terri Irwin.

Subject: 7 hr chat--and a kissoff?
Hi Scamo friends--
In June I had Ehi Quincy, and now I have Prince Ihe--
yes, I note it is the same name in reverse, but these are 2 separate idiots.

Warning, Sheila unleashes jesting, sarcasm, and extreme rudeness at the expense of Australia, Nigeria, men, scammers, and whatever ticks her off on any given day. There is also a mention of a Bodily Part.


This seems to start partway into the correspondence.
Apparently "Prince Ihe" is operating out of India.
This could actually be so. Nigerian Lads work out of India, Thailand, Dubai, the UK, the Netherlands, Spain, the US, you name it.
To date, actual Indian scam-o-grams in the inbox involve spam about government relief programs or appeals for charity, and (so far) are fewer in number.


PRINCE : 2 bad of you

Me: nothing bad, pet koala came in and jumped on my computer and knocked me off- line until now.

PRINCE : ok
sorry for that okay my baby


Me: now tell me your age please

PRINCE : this is the 4th time i will tell u this 29

Me:   ah yes- - 29- - - 19 years younger than me..Thank you for letting me know again.

PRINCE : it have thing to do with my love to u okay

Me:   please speak to me in common- sense English, Prince
I could not understand a single word that you just said


PRINCE : it have notthing to do with my love to u okay

Me:   ok if you say so- - - - so tell me about your great love for me

PRINCE : come let eat

Me:   eat what?

PRINCE : best food and honey

Me:   well I like a good T- bone steak, and from what I know you people in India do not eat beef

PRINCE : who told you baby

Me:   it is a world fact

PRINCE : is only onething i like in Australia

Me:   you have people starving all over the place but you consider beef-
cows to be sacred
here in Australia- - cows are food!


PRINCE : so can we eat my love can we

Me:   crikey, just tell me where I can get a good steak- beef dinner in India...? ?
good rice good curry, good Gandhi lets hurry!


PRINCE : in new delhi

Me:   is that where you are?

PRINCE : yes

Me:   so tell me please where I can get a good hamburger in New Delhi? What is the name of the restaurant?

PRINCE : your food that you are call what no rs here okay i we feed you x10

Me:   speak English please.

PRINCE : can we eat now can we

Me:   eat what? don't lay that cous- cous crap on me- - I want BEEF!! Now where can I get it in India?

PRINCE : New Delhi

Me:   what restaurant in New Delhi?

PRINCE : in kfc

Me:   KFC is all about chicken- - not beef!

PRINCE : is too much here okay baby come to india so we can enjoy life okay

Me:   enjoy life in India? The land of leprosy and dead bodies floating on the Ganges River and poor beggars all over the place and people who worship rats? UHH- - not exactly to my liking..

PRINCE : you like only Australia why you miss a lot

Me:   why? don't be silly- - I call australia HOME...
we here call it THE LUCKY COUNTRY because everyone is lucky to be in such a wealthy and happy place.
My sister Susan lives in the USA and life is wonderful there too.
Both places better than India!


PRINCE : okay we going to AFRICA

Me:   who is this WE?

PRINCE : my love

Me:   WHERE IN AFRICA? what country?

PRINCE : nig

Me:   Niger or Nigeria?

PRINCE : you know Nigeria

Me:   Nigeria? ? why the hell would I want to go to ashit- hole hell place like that?

PRINCE : but do you know that i love you baby

Me:   Nothing but corrupt government people and scammers there.

PRINCE : for asking you to go to Nigeria

Me:   WHTY THE HELL WOULD I WANT TO GO TO AFRICA- - AND TO A SHIT- HOLE CALLED NIGERIA?
YOU ARE IN INDIA- - SO WHAT IS THE BIG DEAL ABOUT YOU AND NIGERIA?
INDIA IS NO PLAYGROUND, BUT IT IS REALLY A LOT BETTER THAN NIGERIA!


PRINCE : my love most come home with me okay baby
no home like Nigeria


Me:   HOME? ? ? what are you talking about? /MY home is here in Australia.

PRINCE : no home like Nigeria

Me:   I own a very wealthy koala ranch.
If Nigeria is so wonderful to you, then why are you in India?
Ok please do me a favour dear


PRINCE : i will like to come toAustralia one day

Me:   please DO my favour for me dear

PRINCE : what favour

Me:   send me your picture- - send it to me - - xxxxx@xxxxx-xxx.xxx
do it NOW please


PRINCE : you can see my pic their

Me:   stop the bullshit- - and send me your pic..NOW! do it and I will send you mine.
you first, then me.
yes or no?
still waiting- - - -
ok then bye to you
do not contact me again until I know what you look like


PRINCE : ok baby
if you will have the mind


Me:   so are you going to show me or else is this the end of us? /
just send me your pic and we can continue!


PRINCE : can i see the part of your pic like my

Me:   send me your pic- - then I will send you mine.

PRINCE : you 1st send me your own you can see my owen their

Me:   you first or bye- - I mean it..

PRINCE : if you send me i will send 5 for you okay baby

PRINCE : is Available

PRINCE : i want to eat now so can we

Me:   can we what?
send me your email ddress and I will send you my pic
yes or not?
ok bye to you


PRINCE : princeling2k@yoh aa.com
sorry is this princeling2k@yah oo.com


Me:   yeah well send me your picture please

PRINCE : are you there ?
i will if you send me you owe okay baby
are you there ?
hello


Me:   I sent my pic with my koala- - now send yours
do it or else NEVER reply back again


PRINCE : I sent my pic
are you there ?
HELLO
OK BYE


Me:   hold on there I hve been in the loo for the past 10 minutes

PRINCE : OK

Me:   hold on dear- - it takes a few minutes to downlod

PRINCE : are you useing phone or laptop

Me:   not either- - but I must say that you are a sharp looking man

PRINCE : ok so are u ok now

Me:   my internet access goes through a way tht I do not wish to discuss, for my security reasons
yes, all good in the hood, as the rappers say


PRINCE : what internet access

Me:   well I just said- - I do not want to talk about that!
but it is via yahoo, so let us leave it at that


PRINCE : baby tell me about what

Me:   ? ? ? ? what? ? ?

PRINCE : so tell me how do i look like

Me:   I told you- - you are a sharp man

PRINCE : ok

Me:   you look a td older than 29, but that is just what I think
a tad older


PRINCE : i love your pic i wish i can have more of it baby

Me:   send me one more of you and I will send you one more of me
yes or no?


PRINCE : send me i will send u okay like i told you that i'm not like their man

Me:   send me FIRST- - and then I will send another of myself

PRINCE : ok

Me:   so when?

PRINCE : now

Me:   ok

PRINCE : I sent my pic now send yours

Me:   ok hold on-

PRINCE : OK

Me:   sent by me

PRINCE : ARE YOU OKAY NOW MY LOVE are you there ?

Me:   yes I m here dear- - and okay as always- - I saw your picture- -
and please tell me WHY that man has his head down near where your penis is in the picture?
it looks like 2 men about to start some homosexual gay thing


PRINCE : can't try that with a gay
ok


Me:   ok, but YOU sent me a picture of a mn with his head near your penis
your picture that you chose to send me


PRINCE : baby i s not my penis
ok
made for you


Me:   ok, but if I were a man, I would not want another man to be having his head so close to my junk- -
looks gay to me


PRINCE : is made for you not for a gay ok

Me:   so why is his head so close to your crotch?

PRINCE : not that

Me:   it looks like he wants to gobble up your zipper- snake

PRINCE : no body can try that

Me:   yeah, well it looks like HE is trying to do that!

PRINCE : your are the owe of it okbaby
i like to see you and show you some thing


Me:   speaking of snakes- - I have just sent you another picture of me

PRINCE : that will be good for you

Me:   WHAT do you want to show me? check the pic I sent to you

PRINCE : show you my love for you

Me:   ok- - so what will you show me?
and check the pic I just sent to you


PRINCE : baby no pic
i can't see it


Me:   yes I sent it- - check again
should be there by now


PRINCE : resend it
i can't see it


Me:   what? ok
hold on


PRINCE : i wish i'm their now i will make you to cry like a baby my love

Me:   ok - - pic sent- - and what- all is this about making me cry?
pic sent- - AGAIN


PRINCE : what is that
on your pic


Me:   i CRY over a man, but NOT FOR a man.
a snake- - like I told you


PRINCE : you did tell me

Me:   told you what? ? ?

PRINCE : about the snake

Me:   yes

PRINCE : so tell me

Me:   do you like snakes?

PRINCE : why is not handful to you

Me:   no handful at all- - Cuddles and I get along quite well
she is a python


PRINCE : baby tell me all aboutthis ok

Me:   about what? ? ?

PRINCE : about the snake or python

Me:   that is Cuddles, she is 10 years old.

PRINCE : how come about it baby

Me:   how come about what? that is my pet and friend.
I feed her a rabbit about every 2 weeks.


PRINCE : ok

Me:   everyone here in Australia hates rabbits

PRINCE : so if i come i will see it

Me:   so getting rid of them is a good thing
yes indeed, if you come here


PRINCE : it will not hurt me
if i come
but do u like it


Me:   no Cuddles is very tame- - why, are you afraid of snakes?

PRINCE : baby you will cay over me

Me:   cay? what does that mean// a cay is an island..

PRINCE : like a baby

Me:   what? ? what the bloody hell are you talking about?

PRINCE : by time have you

Me:   sorry, I only understand English- - so please start talking in a language I can understand!

PRINCE : i mean your feels

Me:   my feels? what? ? TALK IN ENGLISH!

PRINCE : mean the said of sex

Me:   do you mean FEELINGS- - NOTHING MORE THAN FEELINGS- - ?
and what about sex?


PRINCE : FEELINGS
yes


Me:   nothing more than feelings- - whoa whoa whoa.. so tell me first- - you are talking about if the snake will like you when you get here- - -
so HOW can you get here with no passport?
tell me please
are you there?


PRINCE : yes

Me:   so tell me how you expect to come here with no passport

PRINCE : will come with passport

Me:   i see..so what about an Australian visa?
The passport- - that you still do not have- - is no good without the visa.


PRINCE : i will get that ok

Me:   ok- - when?

PRINCE : baby tell me when to come ok

Me:   any time is good when you have the passport and visa, ok?

PRINCE : where will i sleep

Me:   I have plenty of room, and we can figure that out when you get here- -
IF you get here, that is


PRINCE : i will like to sleep with you ok

Me:   we shall see- - so what is this SEX TALK that you mention to me a while ago? tell me please

PRINCE : i will make you to feel like awoman

Me:   well I already am a woman, so that is not much of a problem for me!

PRINCE : you have not see my

Me:   your what? ?

PRINCE : bed ation

Me:   what the hell is bed ation?
tell me dear


PRINCE : so baby tell me more about the snakes

Me:   tell you what? I have one snake- - Cuddles..
And tell me about this bed ation you speak of.


PRINCE : is all about sleeping with you

Me:   yes, sometimes Cuddles sleeps with me, yes.

PRINCE : why

Me:   why? because she and I both love and trust each other..
I feed her rabbits and she is my friend.
that is why
ok?


PRINCE : will she sleep with me too if i come

Me:   she will not hurt you, but that is all water under a Brisbane bridge- -
you must get here first!
understand?


PRINCE : what about water under a Brisbane bridge
? ? ? ? ? ?


Me:   just a metaphor- - it means that it is immaterial to the real subject at hand

PRINCE : ok

Me:   may I ask you what your level of education is?

PRINCE : ok

Me:   I would expect that a man who was at least in a university would comprehend what a metaphor is
so how high did you get in education?
tell me!


PRINCE : so is because of that you want to know
level of education


Me:   just asking, so please tell me dear
nothing bad intended by me


PRINCE : if notthing 4get about it
will but not today


Me:   what? you refuse to tell me something simple like that?
me myself- - I atarted out at Perth University for Social Studies for Younger people,
then transferred to the Sydney Harbour Institute of Technology.
I have a Masters Degree in Business.
And am damn proud of it!


PRINCE : ok

Me:   so I know business.

PRINCE : good
can we do one


Me:   do one what?

PRINCE : that thing

Me:   what thing?

PRINCE : business

Me:   well it would help me to know your level of education,
which you somehow do not wish to tell me


PRINCE : good

Me:   and ALSO it would help me for you to tell me what you are talking about when it comes to business.

PRINCE : but i will tell next time

Me:   no, tell me now please

PRINCE : you i know i love baby

Me:   you love babies? well that is nice, but you should try and love older people

PRINCE : why

Me:   a man who loves babies is ok as long as it does not get too creepy..
that's why all baby- sitters are females


PRINCE : but do you love

Me:   love what? I love many things.. I love the moon, the birds in the air, the flowers in bloom..many things..

PRINCE : do you love me

Me:   how do I love thee? let me count the ways- - uh,
1- - we chat.
2- - you are a sharp dressed man-
3- - uh- - I will let you know maybe later..
Now tell me what this SEX TALK is about.
maybe that will give me more of an idea about what kind of man you are for me to maybe love.
I also get the feeling that you are afraid of snakes.


PRINCE : let me no new

Me:   what? ? speak in English please dear

PRINCE : you say that you will let me know may be later
but now


Me:   well the more you tell me now the sooner I can do it right here and now

PRINCE : tell you what baby
tell me do you love me


Me:   maybe dear- - I am a woman, and we women just do not give our heart out so fast..
But stay with me, for love grows like the rose from out of the manure pile


PRINCE : but how do you know who love you

Me:   well you must understand that to a woman it is not important who loves them, but who they love do you think that you are the only man who tells me that he loves me? go ahead and type, I see that you are trying to do so

PRINCE : like i told you baby i'm not like other man that love bcos of money ok

Me:   most men do not know I am wealthy- -
they just see me and want to have sex with me, so they tell me they love me


PRINCE : ok

Me:   I get this all the time
you have no idea what it is to be a woman


PRINCE : i'm i love with u
baby


Me:   well bless your heart dear

PRINCE : i told you that my heart will not fall me i have not see your pic then

Me:   yes I get what you are saying

PRINCE : i don't know how to tell you this

Me:   so just go ahead and say whatever you want to say!

PRINCE : that i LOVE

BABY


Me:   what baby do you love? do you have a child that you did not tell me about?

PRINCE : is you MY LOVE promiseme not to hurt me

Me:   oh- - I see- - well dear I have absolutely no intention of hurting you!

PRINCE : OK MY LOVE

Me:   I am a kind- hearted voluptuous buxom blond woman.

PRINCE : I SEE

Me:   yes dear

PRINCE : CALL ME YOUR LOVE OK

Me:   I would like to say that I would not hurt a fly,
but we have gazillions of them here and I do hurt them!
but nothing like your tse- tse flies over there in Africa


PRINCE : WHY

Me:   in Africa you also have ebola virus, rebels, corrupt dictators, bad airplanes-
- like the one that crashed in Lagos in June- -
and all sorts of bad things that we do not have here.


PRINCE : LIKE

Me:   Australia here is a very peaceful happy place. Never any worries.
No rebels, no diseases, no warlords- - none of that.


PRINCE : CAN YOU CALL ME YOUR LOVE OK

Me:   ok- - you are your love.

PRINCE : i love baby

Me:   yes your love.

PRINCE : i love it if you will love me

Me:   well maybe , your love!

PRINCE : i see you don't love

Me:   yes I do, your love.

PRINCE : i see you don't love me

Me:   I think I really do, your love.

PRINCE : why your love

Me:   well YOU ASKED ME to CALL YOU YOUR LOVE,
so that is what I am doing as you asked, your love.


PRINCE : my love

Me:   yes, your love

PRINCE : my love not your love

Me:   I see, your love

PRINCE : no

my love


Me:   ? ? ? your love, your love?

PRINCE : call me my love

not your love


Me:   what- - you are not my love?

PRINCE : so you hate me

Me:   no not at all- - what makes you think that?
forget that kind of thinking! i hate the word hate.


PRINCE : who is your love

Me:   well at the present time it is Cuddles, and my koala named Fluffy,
and I have a pet baby croc named Bitey
and my dog Cujo too and my kitty cat Neutrino too.
I love my pets. All of them.
And they love me too- - pure honest love.


PRINCE : so is bcos of them that make you not to love me ok i see

Me:   well hold on there cowboy, I never said anything like that!
Animal love is different- - all they want is food and love.
That is all they ask and they give so much back in return.


PRINCE : that is what you are try to tell me

Me:   what, you do not have pet dogs and cats where you are?

PRINCE : can you call me now

Me:   I saw a picture of some Nigerians with hyenas walking in the street,
but they were beating them with sticks
and the hyenas looked vicious and had muzzles on.


[http://www.scamorama.com/hyena.html]

PRINCE : can you call me now

Me:   I told you- - the phones are out right now
do you want to see that hyena picture?


PRINCE : yes but why you don't love why? baby

Me:   ok- - hold on- - I saw this on the internet- - hold on
ok- - sent to you
Nigeria looks scary to me
Certainly NO PLACE that me- - a blond white woman- - would ever want to be stuck in.


PRINCE : ok

Me:   looks like ahell- hole to me

PRINCE : but i ask you for some thing

Me:   what?

PRINCE : why you don't love why? baby

Me:   love takes time dear, but I do like you a lot, and that should mean something.
I am not a woman who throws my love around just like dust in the wind..Love takes time for me


PRINCE : ok that good

Me:   yes the heart of a woman has secrets as deep as the ocean

PRINCE : but promise to love if see my pic

Me:   what do you mean?

PRINCE : but you promise to love me if you see my pic

Me:   well I think you are a little discombobulated on that- - I certainly would never promise to a man that I would love him just if he sent me his picture..
hell, I do not even know your full names- - just that you are princeling
what IS your full real name?


PRINCE : what are about it

Me:   what, you can not tell me your full name?

PRINCE : CALL ME MY LOVE PRINCE OK

Me:   love prince ok- - tell me your full name right now please.

PRINCE : WHAT OF MY

Me:   tell me or else our love is over
I am Sheila McTaggart Schwartz Bundee
so who exactly are you?


PRINCE : CALL ME MY LOVE I WILL TELL YOU OK

Me:   ok listen to me- - TELL ME RIGHT NOW or else bye- bye to you!

PRINCE : IT SHEW ME THAT YOU CAN'T LOVE ME

Me:   tell me now- - you have 3 minutes to tell me or else bye- bye
I just want to know your name, what the hell is the problem with that?


PRINCE : DO NOT GIVE ME TIME
OK


Me:   2 minutes or bye forever

PRINCE : IT SHOW HOW MUCH YOU LATE ME
OK BYE


Me:   still a little over 2 minutes left to tell me the simple answer
I can wait
it will be your loss, not mine
1 minute left, to be fair with you
ok, I have actually waited over 4 minutes now- - so bye!


prince is Available

Me:   our love all over- - just because you are acting like a stubborn little boy who does not want to say his name
let me tell you this- - never piss off an Australian woman


prince is Offline
prince will receive your Chat message after signing in.


Me:   I will put this chat over the internet for all the world to see what a jackass you are!
NEVER mess with an Aussie woman!


prince is typing...

Me:  Block Sender

patrick is Available

[His name is Patrick! (Um hum)]

patrick : am here luv
re u busy
talk to me my love
sheila
once i get the address u will send the money order i will email it to u


Me:   yes I m back here

patrick : ok love
where ve u been before
hunn do u ve a laptop


Me:   my pet koala FURRY came into my room
and tripped over my computer and ruined everything for a while
but I am back now


patrick : ok i see
u ve lots of pets


Me:   yes, furry little scamps

patrick : do u ve dog or cat
ok


Me:   I have both- - a dog named Cujo and a cat named Pussy

patrick : am looking for address to send the money order..
am asking people out who can help cash out the m.o
ok


Me:   well nothing hs been sent yet by me, but WHY could you not cash it yourself?

patrick : but most people re saying australia m.o is best used within australia
i cant cash foreign check in ngeria


Me:   I do not care what people say - - I cn also get American Express Travelers Cheques,
and those are ccepted all over the world.
So FOOEY on what your Nigerian friends say to you about that!


patrick : our banks wont cash it

Me:   do not give me that shit - - Amex tRAVELERE CHEQUES ARE ACCFEPTED IN NIGERIA!
YOU CAN EXCHANGE THEM AT THE HILTON OR SHERATON
OR A W.U. OFFICE THERE..SO STOP THAT NONSENSE!


patrick : re u sure bout that
ok


Me:   yes absolutely

patrick : is Available

patrick :: but wht am fearing is that wont it got stolen by nigeria postal people
but wht bout the bad corupt postal people in nigeria
they might steal the m.o
wht do u suggest my love


Me:   obviously you know nothing about AmEX travelers cheques.
Good all over the world..and guaranteed.


patrick : tell me my love
i dont want to risk such huge money


Me:   you look it up yourself, I do not need to state the obvious.
hold on ther- - WHAT RISK TO YOU? ? what the hell do YOU have to lose? ? ?


patrick :: u will ve to conceal it ina novel and get it sealed up and u will send it down
if the money orders got into wrong hands they might cash i out


Me:   maybe- - but travelers cheques do not need to be done like that.

patrick : how is it done
tell me am new to it


Me:   oy- - - just take my word for it, I hve no time for a diatribe

patrick : will they cash it for me without any i.d

Me:   doubtful, but that is YOUR problem, not mine

patrick : tell me more about this
pls


Me:   what- - about travelers cheques//you can do all the research about it your self..It is basic stuff.

patrick :ok

Me:   American Express and Thomas Cook travelers cheques- - accepted all over the world.

patrick : but my love why cant u send it to australia for me..
i can get an address where u might send it in australia..
i know but i dont want to take a risk pls..the money is a large sum


Me:   me send something to australia? ? are you drinking the liquor now?
I AM IN AUSTRALIA!
and what are YOUR risks?
you have no risks at all
the only one with the RISK is ME, certainly not YOU


patrick : risks involveis that it might be lost in transit
our postal people are unfaithful


Me:   anything lost is not a financial loss to you- - only to me- - so wise up, ok?

patrick : yes i dont want u to lose money
ok my love


Me:   there is no worry with travelers cheques- -
the money can be gotten back if lost or stolen


patrick : will u need to write my nameon it to cash or wht

Me:   yes of course

patrick : ok....

Me:   I will be back in about 8 minutes- - must go take a pee..If the computer shuts down while I am gone, then hold on- - I WILL be back!

patrick : ok..i will come back online 10 mins time...

Me:   ok I am back- - crikey, a bloody spider in the loo!
ok dear


patrick : is Offline

patrick : will receive your Chat message after signing in.

patrick : is typing...

Talking to patrick :

... but that seems to be it - maybe "Patrick" has given up, after SEVEN hours...


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