love means never having to say you're a mugu
Lonslo Tossov of the Foreign Office takes on many guises in the course of his risky work.
Foreshadowings of scamaliciousness are highlighted for the scam-o-challenged.
SMEGAROON: VACATION SPOT FOR THE DISCERNING SPY
BOOK YOUR GETAWAY NOW!
Take a break from espionage!
Rest, relaxation, contemplation
The correspondence began, oddly, with an empty email from "Kate".
Date: Thu, 5 Aug 2010 10:25:52 +0000
Yes that exchange was the first as far as I can locate... Its possble she approached me on a social networking site, with just an email and request to become 'friends' of course.
...which was no obstacle to responding.
Thu, 05 Aug 2010Hi I'm fine. How are you.
Good to hear back from you,i guess its high time you know a little bit
about me,my name is Kate Johnson,i stay in Donegal Ireland before but
i stay in London now but i really travel a lot due to the nature of my
job,am the only siblings of my family ,my dad passed on few years back
and my mum had to relocate to Australia because that was were she was
from initially before my dad got married to her and i will have gone
to with her but am already working in London but i visit her often in
Australia ,i work as a co partner in a computer firm as a website
designer and i love to go to the beach with my bikini and love to go
to the cinema and watch movies at my leisure time,i guess i have to
stop here,am actually searching for a true love,i have not been into
relationship in the last 9 months,so i really want someone that will
love me for who am i not for what i am,till i hear back from you,have
a lovely day.
1------------What type of job do you do ??
Till i hear back from you take good care of your self and stay bless and always stay away from trouble xoxox
I just got a message on my desk at my office that we will have to go to Nigeria africa for a job tomorrow me and my boss,we have to go and redesign a website for a telecommunication over there,we have been there sometimes last year,we will use about a week there i guess.......But that does not mean that i wont be able to write you ok.Just want you to know my movement thats all......Till i hear back from you have a great day...
Well I must admit that I am surprised to hear back from you. It has been a while since romance has crossed my path. But at 56, I suspect I might be too old for you?
In regards to your questions I am the director of modestly successful finance company, head office in South Africa. We are much known for our charitable dispersements towards native indigents.
In a lady I like respectful manner, modesty and charm. Also a good head for figures to help out around the office now and again would be useful. My late wife Agatha was a godsend in that respect.
As for children, well I would have to consider both my age and that of any prospective partner. But there is no doubt of the excellent climate and opportunities for growth in Smegaroon province, where my principal residence is when not in London.
As for treating a lady, well I have never had any complaints in that department. Agatha quite took to the long golfing mornings I regularly enjoy as well as the comaraderies formed between wives at the odd international sales conference.
My past love life is really encapsulated in the memory of Agatha, who sadly passed away after an accident out on the links a couple of years ago, hit by a caddy car while laying out a picnic in the rough. As I cradled her battered face during those long, last moments, she made me promise to carry on and make the best of the years I have left, but this is something I have found hard to do. But happiness always springs from the most unexpected places.
Incidentally, I attach a picture of myself in case you would find it of interest. Do you have one?
I do hope we chat again sometime,
Here begins the foreshadowing.
Date: Fri, 6 Aug 2010
Now,i looking for a new love,relationship (Mr Right) thats the reason
you saw my profile on the dating site it was exactly this site that my
friend who we attend church together met her husband and thank God
they are now happily married.
Subject: to Katherine Johnson
Dear Kate (if I may be so bold)
I am somewhat flattered that you have written back to me so quickly, and with so much honest affection already showing in your words. For a long while I thought my inelegant picture would prove off-putting, and you would write no more or, worse, tell me that the initial contact was a mistake.. Even though we have spoken only a couple of times, such a sudden spurning would surely throw a shadow even over a businessman's heart. So much so, in fact, that with this possibility in hand I managed only a couple of listless interjections during the board meeting today and had to quite pull myself together. Call an old man foolish day-dreaming so, but there you have it, I must be honest. And now to see your image open before me on my laptop. I am almost beyond words.
I have read your message about religion with interest, being a steadfast member of the Mbalonga Baptist community here. Indeed, the collection plate is rarely out of my hands. I too have respect for all creeds. So there is no need to worry my dear. I am a god-fearing man with high principals.
incidentally I was charmed to hear of your bikini and your love of the beach. Do you have a picture perhaps? I would love to see. Although I am too old now for much swimming at length I still enjoy an occasional paddle myself on the Smegaroon Delta in the evenings. There is something very civilising and relaxing after a long day in the office, spent thrashing out the fine detail of corporate finance, to then go stand at the sea's edge and be handed a cool G & T on a tray by my PA.
Anyway I fear I run away with myself like an old fool once again. Write again soon, I am sure we have lots to talk about.
"Kate" is probably a guy in an internet cafe and not someone we want to see in a bikini anyway.
Date: Sat, 7 Aug 2010
How are you doing today and I am so happy to read back from you!!!Anytime I read from you I feel so great and good because I always like to read your mail and I really can't wait to meet you and as for myself in a bikini I don't have the picture for now but when I get back home I will surely take a picture and send to you.
I am so bored and lonely and tired of this place my dear,I hope you are doing good and taking good care of your self for me?I want to quickly take a cold shower and when I am back I will write to you !!!!miss you so much and always remember that I really care a lot
Date: August 8, 2010
I am pleased to return to my office after a tiring day on the links to find not one but two messages from my new special friend!
Yes my dear, I will be delighted to see more pictures of you when you time to send. I have some others too, but alas these last years have produced few photos of real relaxation and pleasure from a busy life. This widower's life has not been easy. Just records of the same old round of business conferences, bank meetings and the ribbon cutting at the opening of Smegaroon Shopping Plaza last spring. A fine occasion but hollow, I realise now, without a good woman at my side.
But enough of this introspection. Standing here all sweaty in my plus fours is not ideal, even though I rushed to reply. I too need to freshen up some, and am just off to the executive washroom. I will reply to your longer message when I am in a fit state xLonslo
Date: Sat, 7 Aug 2010
1, it gives me no chance to get closer to God as i ever wanted.
2, it has been my dream to settle down and have my own family healthy
and happy in love. And i am sure that if i continue to do this, i may
ever not be chanced to get my self settled. so i am planning to
established a beauty salon for ladies when i get back from the little
money i realize from this trip. I am a professional hair stylist for
ladies and i also know more about costuming so i am sure i am going to
excel in that field. i am just praying to God to lead me right to the
Date: Sunday, 8 August, 2010
What a great pleasure it is to find someone with such a loving and honest nature as yourself. I must admit, during the long lonely hours at the helm of a commercial enterprise, just knowing I have found a friendly and giving person has lightened the burden of responsibility. I don't know if I have mentioned it, but I am in charge of a large South African financial company, its CEO in fact. A rewarding role in many ways, but it can be lonely. My late wife of course helped with some of the toil, but since her death through accident, I have been alone. Yes, alone in the dark-panelled boardroom here, with nothing but a thrice-weekly expedition to the golf course and the Glenfiddich or Gordons to assuage the emptiness of it all. Since you came into my life I have taken stock of my life and have found it lacking. A sadness has fallen upon me, so much so that I can hardly bring myself to bark out orders in the dealing room anymore.
You ask about my background. Well, I have told about Agatha, left dead on that course in such horrific circumstances a few years back - an event which put me off the game for months. We had no children, My parents are dead. My family hail from Mbalonga, from good farming stock, with a thread of Boer blood. A proud heritage.
I have not practised internet dating before, indeed it has never crossed my mind. I am somewhat conservative in nature, and these new-fangled ways of meeting someone I am unused to. I still, in my heart of hearts, harken back to the slower methods of ball rooms and barn dances, country-club introductions and, yes perhaps, feet touching under the table at business clubs. But perhaps I am too old fashioned.
But tell me more about yourself. What are your dreams, your fancies? What lead a young woman like yourself, one bright and intelligent I may suggest, to contact an old disconsolate widower with just too much too time to brood?
I am greatly reassured with your godliness by the way. There are too many bad people in this world.
Write soon x
Date: Sun, 8 Aug 2010
Subject: To Kate
It seems but a short while ago that we first came across each other, but I find myself looking for your messages with a secret smile. It's funny how these things work out isn't it?
Today I am hard at work with other people on a new financial project - the Pacquet de Cheerios Dam. I shan't bore you with the details but it is a serial investment project that involves a lot of meetings, negotiating and corporate to-ing and fro-ing. I will be very busy throughout. But here I have a confession. I have printed out your photos and have squeezed them in between the leaves of my blotter. So now, during the slow tedium of boardroom business, I can look down upon your face and think on our new friendship and the sort of person I know you are. A foolish man's weakness perhaps, but one I hope I will be excused for.
I am sorry to hear about your problems with your boss. If he worked for me I can assure you things would be sorted by now.
So tell me more about your week. What do you have planned? A trip to the theatre or cinema perhaps? Shopping? A return to the beach, perhaps in that delectable bikini of yours? I wonder. I am mainly stuck in doors this week, as I have said my dear. No time for a paddle. What a shame. There's nothing like the trousers rolled up and toes scrunching up the sand, ice cream cone in hand. But a top businessman must resist such simple pleasures in favour of enterprise and profit. The shareholders would never stand for it.
But I must go, I have a conference call from Smegaroon coming in.
Here we go...
Date: Mon, 9 Aug 2010
Well for me since we have know much things about each other and we match our self and we are looking for the samething in life i think we should call it New Relationship and i believe it will lead us to a very good place.
In life, we receive a wonderful opportunity, and that is to love. Love comes in many forms. You love people in different ways and for different reasons, depending upon how they have touched your life. Love is a very powerful word and can describe a multitude of feelings, but its main context carries the same meaning.
So,I want to tell you that the love I have for my man is undying.hmm oh u are my new man now i guess? coz i think i have know much more about you now but still need to meet each other,for me my love is a love that is strong and enduring and will stand the test of time. I truly feel blessed that you have become a part of my life and I cannot wait for the day that we can join our lives together. I want to lie next to you at night and fall asleep in your arms, only to wake to your beautiful smile. I want to share in your joys and sorrows. I want to be your everything. You are everything to me.coz every time i read from you it makes me feel a'm already in love with you but the only thing left is that we need to meet and start from there.
I know I tell you all the time how amazing you are, and Sweet, you ARE! You're an incredible Man; there is nothing I believe you can't do. The way you make me feel is like nothing I've ever felt before. I know I'm a very impatient person and I'm trying like hell to do the right thing, but the more time I spend with you and the more time we talk and do things together makes me realize that this is our life's plan, this is how our path of forever is suppose to happen, and sometimes I know it's hard for us to deal with but in the end, we'll be stronger and able to handle just about anything that comes our way ... we got through the hard part, Sweet, now all we have is the downhill side.
You have brought out a part in me that I put away a long time ago and thought I'd never be able to find again. You make everything so simple and easy for me to let go and with you in my life I don't need to hide that part of me anymore. What you make me feel for you is nothing short of the ultimate happiness. You are in my thoughts, my dreams, my desires, but most of all my heart!
Date: August 10, 2010
Another day and another message to open from you. I am so happy. I am beginning to realise how empty was my life before we started this recent chat and friendship. Endless rounds of financial meetings, overseas conferences, signing off accounts and ordering whisky & sodas in the clubroom were beginning to take their toll. Perhaps the loss of my wife, and the enforced emotional solitude it brought, made things worse for an already busy, very driven and commercially-committed person. It is always lonely at the top to be sure, even with the support of my colleagues and manservants. But there was always something missing, something that even the annual gruffalo hunt we sponsor here, and the communal BBQ enjoyed with the beater boys and runners after it, was unable to assuage.
Thank you for your lovely long message. I have read it over a few times, on each occasion with a smile on my lips I can assure you of that. Once or twice I even gazed upon you picture, snug in my blotter and sighed like a schoolgirl, I admit it. Even though I know that you say you are sad, at least we have each other. Even though you lack money, we are rich in our new found affection. And, even though a good distance apart, our friendship blossoms. It brings forth a new spring in my step each day (after parking the Rolls), with the certainty of a shared trust and affection together. Yes, a New Relationship indeed as you say, one which I have to rub my eyes to believe anew each day.
I must admit your reference to being in my arms at night has made me think. A subject I have hesitated to think on too much or mention it, lest it bring a maidenly blush to your cheeks. And it has been so long since I have lain with a female, conquered a boudoir. I must admit it, until recently my desire has been for stock price trends, my lust for take overs and my excitement over market share. Contemplating otherwise, and reading your girlish fantasy, makes me feel young again - if at the same time nervous. I wonder: would I ever be the man you hope and dream for?
Write again soon my sweet,Lonnie x
Date: Tue, 10 Aug 2010
This is the same type of '419' scam as the email you may have received, supposedly from a friend, who was mugged while overseas and needs money to get home. That kind of mail is typically sent from a compromised account, to everyone in the account owner's contact list.
Date: August 11, 2010
I must admit that I am looking forward to coming to work each day with greater enthusiasm than perhaps for sometime. Not since the Custard Loans affair of a few years back has my office life been so full of passion and excitement at what each day brings. Your emails are a wellspring of romance for this old commercial dog, who feels as bouncy as a puppy at heart these days, and I am grateful for your continued interest in me.
Thank you for your concern over my health. To be honest I do feel a little the worse for wear today. Yesterday I left the office in high spirits and managed a good 13 holes at Smegaroon National before the monsoon rains started down. I was soaked of course, but still managed a good par before abandoning matters for the club house and the traditional sing song round the fire. My caddy Miracsky was less fortunate but once he had been retrieved from the quagmire that was bunker no 4 he too became reasonably cheerful.
I must say that the problems you are having with your boss seem terrible. Is there no way he can be contacted? The bounder ought to be horsewhipped for leaving such a sweetheart as yourself alone, and at the mercy of things too. I am not sure what I can do by way of assistance being so far away. If he is a member of the local fiduciary council then perhaps some pressure could be applied, but I doubt it. I hope he has not left his employee in too much of a lurch, it would be terrible to think of you at the mercy of debts and worry. I am greatly worried I must admit.
As I write this I could not help but have my blotter open so that I can gazing lovingly once again upon your face, and even caught myself sighing like a schoolboy. So much so that my financial secretary thought I had discovered a discrepancy in the accounts. It really cheers me up and makes this grey day a little bit more bearable. If you have that bikini one ready some time soon I would really love to see it. I do have one taken in my plus fours I can send by way of return, but it is not the best shot as the sand is flying everywhere from the shot to the green I was taking and there are a couple of native heads in the way.
Date: Wed, 11 Aug 2010
Date: August 11, 2010
Mr Tossov has unfortunately gone home as he is feeling unwell this afternoon. I am his secretary, and will be monitoring his business mail and intray during his absence which might be a couple of days. Is this something that can await his return?
pp Lonslo Tossov CEO
Date: Thu, 12 Aug 2010 06:09:25 +0000
Good day to you secretary,I hope he is feeling better now?and how soon is he getting back to work?thank you
Date: August 12, 2010 5:22:44 AM PDT
He has caught a slight chill, from the bad weather during his golf session the other day I imagine, but ought to be back soon. I left him today quite comfortable in bed with a glass of Glenfiddich and a copy of Golfing Today.
He send his best wishes.
Is there any message for him?Yusa Slapa
Date: Fri, 13 Aug 2010 12:44:45 +0000
Date: Sun, 15 Aug 2010 10:06:55 +0000
Date: August 15, 2010 6:31:33 AM PDT
Hello dear Katherine
Well, sweetheart, I am out of my sick bed and have struggled back to the office for some essential catch up today although the doctor says that my usual round on the green is not to be expected. To be honest, I am still a bit under the weather and so that was probably not on the cards. I had my clubs brought out polished by a native this morning just in case but I am still a little too weak.
I must admit I have been thinking of you a lot, My secretary Ms Slapa printed out and gave me your last couple of messages, very kindly tucking them under my regular copy of The Smegaroon Times with all the other bits and pieces from the office. What a pleasure to know that you write to me, and with such genuine love in you heart! Each time I read your messages (which was several, I will admit) I knew exactly what sort of person you are and wanted to tell you so right to your face, and to hold you so..
I hope to be back in the office properly next week, and hope we can chat some more then. In the meantime tell me more of what you have been getting up to. Have you been to any dances or BBQs? Perhaps a goat roast? I am sure you have plenty of admirers there. Tell me all and I will try not to be too jealous.
But enough of this; I have just a few more reports to go through here, and then I will get the chauffeur to take me back home. I am little tired still. Write soon!
Date: Wed, 18 Aug 2010 00:38:10 +0000
Date: August 18, 2010 4:11:22 AM PDT
I had hoped you would be a bit better today, but your letter has made me fear for the worst. Are things really as bad as you say? I hope not. I must admit the idea of sending you a little something to keep body and soul together had occured to me, but I hesitate. Suppose those dastardly enough to do you wrong in your life have access to money transfer and stole what I sent? That would be terrible. I would not be able to sleep without knowing that anything I sent was going straight to my beloved and was proving enough to pay for food, accomodation, face daub and change of knickers, so on. What a responsibility to throw upon myself! I feel very nervous at the thought. You would think I had let you down terribly.
I do hope you feel a little more optimistic today. Here it is lovely weather and I might take a stroll past the gruffalo sheds and see the milking.
affectionately yoursLonnie xx
Date: Wed, 18 Aug 2010 19:40:53 +0000
Thanks and i will really appreciate if you can help me out my love and please just kindly help me out and save my soul from this place and my dear I really miss you so much and I will always love you forever my dear ..till i hear back from you have a good day my dear
Date: August 19, 2010 9:41:03 AM PDT
I'm just back from the Smegaroon Business Centre after a hectic round of meetings, and naturally wanted to reply to my sweetheart as soon as possible. Even during today, amidst the dryest presentation, my mind wondered and I thought of you, with all your troubles. Although reasonably well off now, I know full well what it is like being without the adequacies to sustain oneself. I remember when I first arrived here, some 30-odd years ago, it was with barely 50 dorks in my pocket and just one big idea - to corner the custard commodity market. From this small seed, and through constant determination and grit, grew the foundation of a business which today flourishes and has over 200 employees, and which had added to the well being of many.
Now my dear, the $750 you mention. I am not sure Western Union is the best way to send it, as previously I mentioned. Anyone might intercept the funds, leaving you as badly off as you are present. Cannot another way be found? Or, if it came to it perhaps one of my more trusted representatives can locate you and press some dollars into your hand personally? Just an idea, you understand.
I hope you are bearing up well today. My recent sickness and weakness has almost gone entirely and I was able to do my morning jog round the car park this morning, even outstripping the towel- bearing native accompanying me at one or two point.
But write soon, I do fret about you and how you are getting on. Do you have a tribal elder you can call upon?Lonnie xx
Date: Thu, 19 Aug 2010 18:10:35 +0000
Subject: To Kathrine Johnson
Hello Ms Johnson
Mr Tossov is not in the office today. He is visiting our Merkin Town branch. Can I be of any assistance? I am his secretary.
He showed me your picture the other day and seemed very happy.
Date: Mon, 23 Aug 2010 10:48:01 +0000
Date: August 24, 2010 4:13:52 AM PDT
I am very sorry, my dearest, that I have been unable to write easily before now. To be frank I have had little time to do much at all lately, except attend to sudden business in hand. In confidence I can tell you there has been a leak at the custard plant up river and we came close to proper disaster. As it is one of our principal investments, you can imagine our concern. Also there has been a very unfortunate death, as a native got caught in the release, a ghastly way to go. That's a pretty unpleasant sight to see, I can assure you of that.
As a result I have been pretty busy these last few days, working on compensation for those concerned and liaising with health & safety etc etc. It has all rather drained me, and left barely any time for a round at the links, let alone writing to my darling. But here I am, temporarily at least, back at the office, able to snatch a few moments. Yusa Slapa told me you had been asking after me, and for that I am grateful. I am sorry to hear that you are still in hardship. Is there really no chance of things improving?
I have been thinking of you, even while helping with the clean up that the problem has entailed. It was slow work, but it seemed I could see you face in every shovelful.
Anyway, write soon my sweet, and tell me how you are, let me know you are facing better fortune.
Date: Tue, 24 Aug 2010 13:03:27 +0000
Date: August 24, 2010 8:01:35 AM PDT
Just a quick note before I head off back to the custard mine. Its possible I might be able to send you a little something, what would be the safest way? Whereabout are you exactly, its possible I could have someone drop off a few dollars.Lonnie xxx
Date: Tue, 24 Aug 2010 16:27:57 +0000
Thanks and i will really appreciate if you can help me out my love and please just kindly help me out and save my soul from this place and my dear I really miss you so much and I will always love you forever my dear ..till i hear back from you have a good day my dear
Hi my love
It will be easier to send some dorks our local currency, as the exchange rate is better and I can easily get some out of the petty cash for the purpose. I do hope I will not be too late to help you in this crisis. I would hate to think of your alternatives: traipsing up and down tarpaulin alley, hawking yourself about like a floozie perhaps.
Anyway, how soon shall I send? It will take a day or so to organise.Lonnie xxx
The dork-dollar exchange rate has remained more or less steady at about 1 to 2.5 for the past year, Smegaroon being largely unaffected by the economic doldrums troubling other nations.
Date: Wed, 25 Aug 2010 12:02:28 +0000
Date: August 25, 2010 1:37:23 PM PDT
Dear Ms Johnson
Mr Tossov has been detained by the custard but has asked me to send you some dorks. Kindly confirm your bank details and I will process the transfer straight away. It will come from this office, SA based.
Yusa Slapapp Lonslo Tossov CEO
Date: Wed, 25 Aug 2010 22:53:13 +0000
Thank you so muchKate
Date: August 27, 2010 7:30:24 AM PDT
Hello Mrs Johnson
Apologies for the delay but things have been busy here as you know. Mr Tossov has asked me to confirm the following:
Amount sent: 2,451 dorks (2,451DK)
Please confirm receipt as I have not done this sort of transfer before.
Wasted trips : 1
Date: Sat, 28 Aug 2010 10:35:41 +0000
I got to the bank this morning,and the funds was not there to pick up the funds.Please email to me where you have sent the funds and which country did you send too.
If there is any mistake please correct this mistakes by going back to the western union out let you have sent the funds from....And correct the details which is senders country and receivers country which should be NIGERIA.
Date: August 31, 2010 5:51:43 AM PDT
It is so good to hear from you again after being away from the office for so long. This damn custard business has been a real nuisance, I can assure you, and may lead to disciplinary action here. Some will be getting their just deserts, that's for sure.
However I am sure you do not wish to hear about my problems with so many of your own. I know that Yusa Slappa has been looking after you during my absence and that some dorks have been processed to your benefit. Please check again that nothing has arrived. If so, then I will have to look at it again and see what can be done.
Here I am, sighing like a love-drunk schoolboy over your photo while I write. But I cannot help my feelings, which are as strong towards you as they are towards custard commodity brokerage. My dearest, dare I ask: do you have any more photographs for me? The current ones are fine but I long to see more of you: your lovely smiling face again, or inside your tent perhaps, your local swami, or some scenes of jungle life? Do see what can be spared and make this old, modestly successful business man even happier.
Write soon my precious one!
Date: Tue, 31 Aug 2010 13:27:24 +0000
Date: August 31, 2010 11:36:41 AM PDT
Hello my precious sweetheart, a great big kissy wissy to you x
I have spoken to Yusa Slapa since your last mail and now I think we have it sorted.
The new details are as follows:
Senders name: Lonslo, Tossov
Address as before:
Test Question: What hope for love's dividend?
I do hope it is ok this time my sweet, it will give me so much pleasure imagining the look on your face as you get what is coming to you.
Warmest love my little cupcakeLonnie xxx
Wasted trips: 2
Date: Wed, 1 Sep 2010 08:32:38 +0000
Thank you so muchKate
Date: September 1, 2010 5:49:08 AM PDT
Good morning my sweet cupcake! How I enjoy each message from you, it makes my day that little bit complete. In the cares of a large business how pleasurable to have a smile on my face when I see your mail.
I am at a loss why the money does not arrive, Ms Slappa assure me that all is correct this end. Are you sure you are asking the right questions? Should I make things clearer to you?
It is all a little unsettling this difficulty, coming as it does after the recent custard debacle I must say. Also, dorks are not usually a problem in your part of the world, I am surprised you should think so.
Please let me know what is happening your end honeyLonnie xxxx
Date: Thu, 2 Sep 2010 11:16:58 +0000
Date: September 2, 2010 5:34:39 AM PDT
We have got the money back this end, I am relieved to say and I have asked Ms Slappa to resend the amount using the different currency. I hope this will now be ok.
Amount sent $750
I do hope this finally reaches you my precious. You know what I think of you.
Typing this alone in this big old boardroom, with just your picture and a glass of Glenfiddich before me, watching a native clean my 5 iron, I have just realised how special this relationship is and how lucky I am to have found you. If only it could be shared with other people, so that they could see what kind of person I am lucky enough to know! They would have just as happy a smile on their faces I am sure as I frequently do. And the thought of your trip to Western Union and what you deserve to receive as such a special person would make them even more delighted, I am sure.
Kissy wissies foreverLonnie xxx
Wasted trips: 3
Date: Thu, 2 Sep 2010 13:38:50 +0000
Date: September 3, 2010 5:15:10 AM PDT
I am not sure how to apologise enough. I have double checked the paperwork which Ms Slappa prepared for the previous transactions, and it appears that a simple error has been made, which made the transfers void and null. Words and warnings have been exchanged, and now she is standing rather shamefacedly doing a week's photocopying downstairs in the invoice and claims room. You can imagine our relief to have the money safe and sound, although I know how urgent it is that you get exactly what you deserve. Thinking of your repeated and fruitless trips to the Western Union office, my sweet, gives me feelings that are hard to express. I do hope that you did not incur any additional expense, as well as appearing an idiot or that you were not insulted by the staff. I am so, so sorry. Does a kiss go to make things up somewhat? I hope so!
Anyway, as soon as my next custard recovery meeting is out of the way, I will set thing aright. I feel so guilty at letting you down that I will send a little more than that $750, just as an extra lover's gift to someone who has it coming to them. I hope this will make things a little better XXXX
Please stand by for my message next and it will tell you when things are on their way.
HUGE KISSY WISSYLonnie
Date: Fri, 3 Sep 2010 13:28:39 +0000
Date: September 4, 2010 4:46:20 PM PDT
Hello my dearest best sweetie pie
I am in the office alone today, just finishing up some paperwork. This custard business has really made a mess of things I can tell you but those responsible will get their just deserts. But one musn't grumble, especially when I have a lovely dream to write to, and look forward to, every day in my inbox. Such bliss! I must admit that you are always in my thoughts, whether it be that I am hitting a ball with keen strokes out of a difficult bunker, watching gruffalo droppings being swept up under the evening sun on Smegaroon Boulevard or back looking at the magnificent stuffed heads on my study walls of an evening back home.
But back to this annoying transfer business. I think everything is ok now. I really hope you get the message. Here are the details. I have thought of putting $1000 rather than the $750 you asked for and so it will please me immensely knowing you will soon be visiting the payment office again.
I do hope this message finds you and your tribesfolk well
Date: Sun, 5 Sep 2010 14:28:21 +0000
Date: September 5, 2010 1:20:42 PM PDT
Dearest darling Kate
I just popped into to the office to get my balls washed after a round (the greens are rather dusty this time of the year) and thought I would dash of a reply. I am sorry you have been disappointed before.
Have no fear, what I have sent will reflect the way I feel about you and exactly what you are worth. I am sure you will realise how much this whole relationship means to me when you leave the western union office tomorrow clutching what you deserve and leave me all the happier for it.
LonniePS big kiss off MWAH!!!
Wasted trips: 5? really?
Date: Mon, 6 Sep 2010 09:14:06 +0000
Date: September 6, 2010 5:31:32 AM PDT
Awwwww - does this mean the romance is off??
Date: Tue, 7 Sep 2010 12:18:48 +0000
MUGU: what 419 scammers call their victims. Fool, or rube.
Date: September 7, 2010 5:48:22 AM PDT
YOU are the meaning of mugu..
big kissy wissyT
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