The torch of Arnold Wanker has in recent months been taken up by Agent Smith, as ably demonstrated in WANKER REDUX.
Here, Arnold The Second takes on a scammer using the 'bogus jobs' format.
Interestingly, the scammer sprinkles a few transliterated Russian words here and there.
[Original Arnold masterminded MOONSHINE OVER METHLAND and YOU ARE SLOWING DOWN OUR SERVICE.
He also appears as Dr. Sweeney Todd (board-certified scambaiter), in YOUR UTTERANCE IS REPREHENSIBLE and DEMON SCAMBAITER OF FLEET STREET.]
ARNOLD WANKER - good ol' boy
BOGUS "DWO FULFILLMENT", a scammer impersonating an apparently real, legitimate company
This episode begins with the scammers sending our protagonist an invitation to join their Company, DWO Fulfillment ("email@example.com").
(They sent it to Arnold's other, "unknown" email address, so the initial phishing-expedition email doesn't show here) (they were just looking for an) honest worker
I am an honest worker; I want to work for you since I got your email...
I tried and failed to open their attachment, realized I could use it as a delay-tactic, but sent them answers in the body of their lame email below anyway
Thank you for contacting us. Please, read the job descriptions and choose your preferred position or both positions. These are immediate positions we need to fill thus your prompt response is greatly appreciated.
You can work from your residence as it was described in the job offer letter.
To start your hiring process, you will need to fill out our application form. Feel free to find that in the attachment.
ABOUT OUR MAIL ORDER SERVICE
(ok, it's a payment/shipping scam, crank up the bait-generators!)
[This has been snipped a lot, since:
MAIL ORDER SHIPMENT INSPECTOR MAIN DUTIES
EXAMPLE OF STANDARD OPERATIONS
EXAMPLE OF STANDARD OPERATIONS
In response to the above offer of employment (INITIAL ONE ONLY): AJW_____ I accept. ______ I do not accept.
I want to apply for the following vacancy(ies): ___Both_____________________________ Dated: __11-18, 2011___
This is a jobs 'format' scam.
In another variation, the scammer's check actually clears - so you are helping to launder money. Victims of this scam have been arrested, prosecuted and convicted of fraud - so if a scammer sends you a check, frame it, put it over the water cooler, but don't try to cash it!
see my answers below. [ Meaning in your email above]
your Applform.doc did not download properly, can you send me another corrected one, please?
[Arnold Wanker, forever the techie, notices a few things in their mangled attachment at this point, but does dutifully TRY to decode it (I could not).]
So he sends me another.
Arnold Wanker sends them some advice letting them know that they don't appear too "perfessional" at this point, 'cos he still can't decode it:
"begin 644 Applform.doc"
nope, same stuff - suggest send bare text, maybe
I am unabl to decod it
So he tries again:
Hello Arnold,Please, check another attachmnent
to which I have to in all honesty say:
no .DOC here either - gee y'all are SLACK!
So he goes the PDF route, not that I don't also notice the little blame he lamely throws my way:
Hello Arnold, Mr. Arnold,
I apologize for this misunderstanding,
This situation is uncomfortable for me,I would like just to help you.
Maybe it is the problem with your computer, because these additions are opened everytime. [Of course they are, on YOUR computer dimwit!!]
But it is not problem, everything can be solved easily,
I am sending Adobe Acrobat Reader 9.4 format Applform so you are able to view and fill it.
If you have any questions feel free to contact me.
[next time I'll get him to mail me the program]
[so rather than drag him into the deep end with uudecode 'n' such, Arnold plays along:]Yes, no problem, just give me some time to work with it. Your Arnold
[So, Arnold works with it, denies picking up a "virus", then replies:]
Here ya are. I do think I had one of them thar - how do you say - "walrus?" in the kompooter or sumthin'.....
[SO, I filled out the form and sent it back....."fairly" correct..... APPLICATION (opens in separate window) ]
Something happened here, in recollect I have no idea(r). (Maybe) Something awry with my address, oh no!
Subject: Vacancy closed
So, Arnold of course acts "indigent" and shocked at this, "WHY I NEVER"!! He even has a bout of spelling correctly:
WTF? Vacancy CLOSED??!?!?!
What are you talking about? I thought I was doing everything you asked, what is the reason for you suddenly backing out, I NEED THIS WORK!!!
I think the case certainly IS that YOU ARE WRONG, in my opinion, (whatever there may be for you to be wrong about???)......
I am completely at a loss to explain your actions.Arnold
They retort with:
1.Please, correct home address
I have received the necessary documents from you.
So, naturally, I just rush right out to them the correct information, with an exhortation not to enagage in any sale of my sensitive information:
Addr is correct as shown.
Please don't sell my info 2 anybody.
Arnold J. Wanker
Yes, it's just amazing, isn't it?
[So they decide to go ahead with the offer - ain't Arnold lucky! (BOTH of 'em):]
Mr. Arnold, considering your candidacy, we decided to give you a job to
DWO Fulfillment Group, it will be a probationary period of 1 month (payment will
be made on the basis of common conditions, Check, Money order, Bank transfer,
PayPal or other payment options agreed with the companies
[So, Arnold answers, turning the "eager" dial up a notch:]
[So, Arnold's first assignment arrives:]
Please find below Package Details:
Package from (url deleted)
Name: Arnold James Wanker
Tracking Number: (tracking # deleted)
Post Company:XXX.COM url mangled
1. You also should take OUT the INVOICE from
the PACKAGE you receive.
I am waiting for your confirmation letter.
Check the packaging condition and email me back ASAP.
So, Arnold answers, quite peaceably, not bothering to ask 'where the funds came from' to purchase the
items arriving at his humble abode, nor 'which neighbor's credit card was robbed' to get the items:
[At first the package is
[Uh-oh, then there seems to be an "issue": this throws "eric" for a loop, I don't think this was expected]
Multiple errors exist in the address label. UPS is attempting to determine the correct information to complete delivery. / Returned to shipper.
Arnold, I asked you to give a valid residential
address [I really, really DID!]
that's what proishodit of an incorrect address
This is a very very bad
[uh... what? How about a noun here: crime, company, theft, caper, bungled-effort, ...but I digress...]
Perhaps some of you who are more experienced will see that I pulled the trigger too early, remarking about expecting payment here, but anyway, Arnold, ever ready with the excuse, says:
I saw the truk, he go down mah strit, but no stop.
U not pay me for any of mah work, either, so what's up with that Mr. BooHoo?
So he answers, in all RED - ooooh!
Subject: Correction ofArnold,
The salary will be only after the 30-day trial period (this is the condition of the company, and about it's written in the contract of employment)
Why do you write about right now paying?
You can not correct the condition shall need work?
if there are questions about the work, then ask
if you still want to work with us, please give the correct addresseric neamt
So's I send back, "short-n-sweet", hoping they'll bite again:
I'm so sorry eric, I was mistakn in me address -
it Really should be 180B Gonad Drive. That B looks like an '8'.
'Bout gettin paid - I don't see in my apple-cation any where a 30-day trial,
What State or Federal Laws is yore company complyin' wif?
Sory 'bout the mix-up with the address... Please send it agin, this time to 180B Gonad Drive...
Ok, I'm asking for it next, I know...but they were "done" with me....
I gave you correct address.
What's going on with your Company, "dwofluffy-ill-makin' "....?
It sure seems a waste that I sent y'all all mah bankin state-mints fur nuthin....Y'all wouldn't use those
agin me, now wouldya?
Your Employee Forever, [HA!]
So he gets a little "testy":
So Arnold "weirds out" a little, but maintains focus, as indicated by his sign-off, thanks go to the wifey here for the terminologies:
WELL I'LL BE!!!
I is anoyd wit you, asayin that mye addyress be inkorectd when Isa been livin herein mah hole life.
Yous'n nebudet customers needins 2b lernin how to put the korekt address on them'sn boxen to be sendin to me.
AH STIL WONTS MAH MONEY!!! DONT MAKE ME GO TO THE SHARIF!!!1
Whar's my money?,
They left me alone for awhile, so I figure they're done:
I am "really" sorry bout yore "two package returned to the sender" hope it didn cost ye much.....(not!)
scamorama main street * get booked * subscribe