YOU CAN BANK ON THAT


From his archives - a seven-week correspondence courtesy of Rabbi Ben Zona.

The good Rabbi is the mastermind and star of many adventures, including Spurious, A Bit of Botha, Circumspection, If the Falafel Look Like Gold and Family Plot.

Featuring:
Bad Guy: Peggy Mullins, banking Lad
Good Guy: Rabbi Ben Zona - humble cleric and father of 21

 

(This enterprising scammer sent a fax with her opening gambit through to my father-in-law, who dutifully passed it on to me. Dead bank customer sort of thing, and she says she's located in Vancouver. The story begins...)

Ms. Peggy Mullins

The 'opening gambit' was found elsewhere on the interwebs, the Rabbi's father-in-law not being its only recipient.

Attention:

My name is Ms. Peggy Mullins, I trained and currently work as an extemal auditor for the Office of Superintendent of Financial Institutions (OSFI), Vancouver, Canada, working as part of a large tean that covers the entire Canadian region. I have taken my time to contact you through my personal endeavours. The OSFl are responsible for ensuring that dormant accounts, policy holders, depositors and pension plan members are protected from undue loss of their investments. We aim to safeguard our members from any financial loss that may occur.

During a routine audit check on accounts, which were discovered during the liquidation of a Canadian bank, l discovered a fixed deposit account, which is presently dormant. This account has been dormant for the last eighteen (18) years. The deposit belongs to a single holder with a total amount slightly above $17.1 Million United States Dollars. Banking regulation/legislation in Canada demand that l notify the organization responsibly for an unclaimed asset after a statutory time period of years when dormant accounts of this type are discovered. The above set of facts underscores my reason of writing to you and making the following proposal.

My investigations of the said account reveals that the investor died in 1991 - the exact time the account was last operated. The Canadian bank where the account was originally open has been officially liquidated since 1993. I can confirm with certainty that the said investor died intestate and no next of kin to his estate has been found or has come forward all these years. I am of the settled conviction that using my insider leverage working with you can secure the funds in the account for us instead of allowing it to pass as an unclaimed fund into the coffers of the Canadian Govemment. This is especially possible as you bear the matching SURNAME and the same NATlONALITY to the said investor, and can stand as his extended relative. This is exactly why I am contacting you.

I have all relevant documents (Legal and Banking) that will faciitate my putting you forward as the claimant/beneficiary of he funds and ultimately transfer the money to an account nominated by you. If necessary, we can easily open a new account in your name for this purpose. If you agree to co-operate with me, we will agree unquestionably on adequate compensation for you after we successfully obtain the inheritance payment.

I will explain in more detail what this transaction consists of and what the necessary requirements are, but only when l receive continuation of your desire to participate. Be assured that I am completely committed to the situation. There will be no risk involved whatsoever if you agree to co-operate. However MAXIMUM PRIVACY is of vital inportance ifwe are to successfully reap the immense benefits of this transaction. I guarantee that the transaction will be executed under legitimate anangement that all parties involved will be protected from any breach of law.

To confirm your willingness and co-operation to my proposal, please contact me through fax OR email stating the following: (1) Full Name and Occupation (2) Mobile, Home Telephone and Home Fax Number. (3) Postal Address.

Your prompt response will be highly appreciated.
Kind Regards,
Ms. Peggy Mullins
WWW EFAX COM

Your basic Dead Bank Customer format. A helpful imaginary attorney can do the imaginary paperwork, so you can claim the imaginary money. There will be fees. But you knew that.

Rabbi Ben Zona

Dear Ms. Mullins,

I have received your fax, but I have some trepidation. Are you sure you have contacted the right rabbi?

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Ms. Peggy Mullins

From: Peggy Mullins
IP: 84.203.238.82 (Cork, Ireland, which is not near Vancouver at all)

Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona,

Many thanks for your informative email. I am delighted that you are interested in my proposal and that you are happy to work with me. I will try my best to explain more details as thoroughly as possible.

Please read the following explanation detailing your role and my role for better understanding of my proposal. If we decide to proceed, I will need your continuous reassurance that after your application is approved and the fund is transferred into your account, you MUST RETURN by way of bank transfer 70%. I wish to let you know that you will have 30% of the said fund and I will take 70%. I hope you will not disappoint me in this regard. It is clear that my faith is in your hands and I do not want to think you would take advantage of this fact and mistreat me or go against our agreement.

Through working as an auditor during these years, I have been able to gain access to all the necessary documents required for this claim and I have them on my possession, for years this account have been dormant without any relative of the deceased coming forward for the claim that is why I made my decision to contact you to stand as the next of kin to the deceased person. This is especially possible as you bear the matching LAST NAME to the said investor, and can stand as his extended relative. All binding and legitimate documents will be provided to you if you are happy to work with me.

I should not be taking advantage of my position but I have put a lot of thought into this and believe it can be successful. The only way for this to be successful is for my identity to remain 100% confidential until the process is complete.

I would like you to understand that a next of kin can be anyone ranging from a father, mother, sister, brother, distant cousin, nephew, niece etc. The only way we are going to execute this transaction successfully is through your full co-operation and maximum trustworthiness. It is imperative that we work only together in this.

If we are both happy to proceed, this is how the entire transaction can be best achieved:

According to the banking and Canadian laws, to make an inheritance claim of this magnitude, you must do so through a Canadian/United States based attorney/solicitor, details of which I will be forwarding to you after an agreement is signed between the both of us. The attorney/ solicitor will act on your behalf in applying and submitting all necessary applications/documents to the relevant departments including the Bank and Courts here in Canada for the approval and release of the total fund by wire transfer into your bank account.

For clarity, I present to you a detailed explanation of both my role and your role for better understanding. After we have both signed an agreement, I will immediately forward you the attorney's details and the deceased persons' personal details.

Your responsibility:

The below instructions detail the only way we can succeed with this transaction:

1) I will forward you all relevant information related to the inheritance deposit/investment.

2) You will make contact with the attorney/solicitor and instruct him/ her to act on your behalf in the pursuit of your inheritance claim by giving him/her the information which I will be providing to you.

3) You must never inform the attorney/solicitor that you are working with me.

4) Once the attorney/ solicitor puts in the claim on your behalf, your role stops and my role begins.

My responsibility:

1) The application goes through the normal application process for verification and approval with the bank and court for final approval.

2) I will be in position to furnish you with all the necessary documents of the deceased person that might be required during verification process that will approve your application.

3) After application is approved, payment is issued to an account of your choice. Notification of payment and all relevant papers and certifications stating that the fund has been released to your bank account will be forwarded to you via the attorney/solicitor who acted on your behalf.

4) I will also be available and responsible to offer you advice of any kind during the claim process due to my experience in this line of work.

And hence that will be the final stage of the claim process.

This whole process will take between 5-7 banking weeks from start to finish. Once the funds arrive in your bank account, I will immediately forward you my bank details for the transfer of my share (70%) of this project, while you retain your share (30%). I am still unsure of your seriousness in this and want to get your assurance and commitment to this process reaffirmed to me with your reply. I believe and trust that you will treat this project with utmost confidentiality.

I would like you reply to my fax informing me to draft the agreement, and you will be willing to work with me on the above terms.

Feel free to ask questions at any time during the process.

Kind regards,

Ms. Peggy Mullins

Rabbi Ben Zona

This prospective victim unfortunately has a keen, analytical mind.

Ms. Mullins,

It is I that must thank you for your informative email. Your story is convoluted, but I think I get it. You basically have a scheme in which you're trying to get your hands on some funds that you're not legally entitled to, but need to use me to get it, am I right?

Suppose I do help you, can I go to jail for it?

Sincerely,
Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona
Congregation Patsch Intuchas

Ms. Peggy Mullins

Dear Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona,

Thanks for your email and sorry for the delay before getting back to you. I want you to know that I would never have contemplated embarking on ''project'' if for one second I thought it could not be executed successfully or there was going to be trouble.

This project is legit and 100% risk free, so you have absolutely nothing to worry about because I would have be in anyway part of this project if there was going to be trouble. I have devoted a lot of time to this project. I have studied the process carefully and evaluating things at all aspects.

You should have every confidence in me, and remain positive in your thinking at all times. You must always remember that I would not be confident in this project if had any doubts whatsoever. I am very hopeful that this will be a complete success for both of us. The account has been dormant now for years and so far no person has come to claim the inheritance.

Therefore we must seize this once in a lifetime opportunity with both hands.

I hope that with time your opinion on this matter will improve and that you will be feeling as positive as I. If you are fine with my explanations and wish to proceed the next step for us now is to draw up an agreement letter for the both of us to sign and both of our home/office address would be on the agreement letter, so I will need you to send to me your address and your private fax number so that we can proceed with the inheritance claim process..

I look forward hearing from you soon.

Kind regards,

Ms. Peggy Mullins

Rabbi Ben Zona

Dear Ms. Mullins,

Thank you for your comprehensive and thoughtful note. Your email has been been read and the contents well understood.

Except for one nagging thing: what kind of proof do you have for me that all this is nothing but a ruse? You say that I have absolutely nothing to worry about and that I should have every confidence in me. With all due respect, I wouldn't know you from a matza ball.

Also, it sounds like your prime motivation is greed. How do I know you won't be greedy when it comes down to getting my share, if the money exists, that is?

Ms. Peggy Mullins
The money is going to be tranfered to any of your bank account nominated by you in any part of the world of your choice. I should be the one begging that you don't take advantage of me or my own share at the end of a successful transfer of the money into your bank account nominated by you.
Rabbi Ben Zona

Ms. Mullins,
And yes, once I was the King of Spain. Will you take my word for it?

See what I'm saying?

Ms. Peggy Mullins
What do you mean King of Spain?
Rabbi Ben Zona

Yes, I'm telling you I was the King of Spain. Now I eat humble pie.

Proof? That's all I'm asking you for.
Ms. Peggy Mullins

Dear Rabbi

Many thanks for your email. The next step for me is to draw up an agreement between us. I would like to include both your/my address in the agreement therefore I would appreciate if you could forward me your postal address so that I can prepare the agreement. Could you please also provide me with your private fax number?

Once we have both signed agreement, I will forward you all the information that you require including the recommended attorney. You will need this information to move forward with the claim so you do not need to be concerned that you do not have it now. I hope this is acceptable for you? I have thought this through very thoroughly and this is how I planned to proceed.

I await your positive response so that I can draw up our agreement and really get things in motion. I am very enthusiastic and excited to be embarking on this project and I look forward to also concluding same.

Kind regards,
Ms. Peggy Mullins

Rabbi Ben Zona

Dear Ms. Mullins,

Thank you for drawing up the agreement, though I remain pretty skeptical of all of this. I mean you hear stories of people being contacted randomly and so forth, but yet you say you've got a dead bank customer who shares the same name as me. What are the odds, right?

My address: 419 Katyusha Way, Shikker Heights, Israel.

By the way, were the riots last year near to the bank? What were they about, something about losing the Grizzlies to Memphis or something?

Ms. Peggy Mullins

Dear Dr. Rabbi Ben Zona,

Many thanks for your email. I have noted all your instructions. I would like to thank you sincerely for taking time to read through my proposal and evaluate all that it consists of.

I appreciate that you understand my concerns about trusting each other and hoping that you will do all in your power to work with me in this.

I feel very self-assured about working with you in this project. I am very glad to hear that you are willing to work with me in this project. This puts us in a very good position in terms of trust in each other. Obviously this is a very big project we are embarking on and trust should at all times be at the forefront. For your reassurance, I thank you.

I would endeavour to lodge the fund into an alternative account outside Canada. I would be much happier if you nominate your bank account in Switzerland. This would not be a problem I assure you.

I have drafted the Memorandum of Agreement for you detailing the next course of action. Please note your response to this email is very important.

To confirm my trust and my full commitment to working with you in this transaction, I have also included a copy of my driver's licence for your attention. I would appreciate if you would return the favour and forward me a copy of yours so that we can proceed to the next stage.

Upon receipt of the signed agreement, I will forward to you the deceased persons personal details including the bank information. Included in this will be necessary contact details for the legal firm that I am recommending to you.

I am 100% confident that this will be a complete success if you follow all my instructions. I have invested so much of my time into studying this project, evaluating all aspect of it and making sure that I had full access to all documents required for the claim application. I have put a lot of time and effort into this project and I am 100% confident that it will be a success.

I hope that you will have the same confidence as me in this matter.

I look forward to a positive finalization of our mutual project including mutual confidence and trust.

I await your prompt response to this email.

Kind regards,

Ms. Peggy Mullins

Rabbi Ben Zona

Dear Ms. Mullins,

Thank you for continuing to follow this up. Before I go any further I feel that it would not be due diligence if did not first understand each other from a personal level. By ignoring my other questions unrelated to the modalities at hand that you may disregard as non-essential, you are proving to me to be less of a partner and more like a mule-driver. I've been trying to get to know you better (and of course trying to get you off-script) but you've been thwarting my attempts, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt. If you go back through all my emails and answer the questions contained within rather than obstinately sticking to your agenda it would prove a world of good.

(that seems to have thwarted her)

 

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