LAUGHING ALL THE WAY TO THE BANK


Brother Mark Knopfler works out of the Church of the Sultans of Swing.

His previous exploits include REMAIN BLESSED AND SWINGING, THE MUGU'S TOO BIG (in which the Lads went down the Telegraph Road) and MONEY FOR NOTHING. He was also a valued visiting artist in productions such as A REAL CHARLIE and UNITED WE LAUGH.

Brother Mark appears courtesy of Scambaiters Equity.

CAST
Prof. C. Soludo - head of Nigeria's Central Bank (no, not really)
versus
Brother Mark Knopfler, humble man of the cloth, and guitar wizard

[Classic scam elements are highlighted.]


Prof. Soludo
Attn: Beneficiary,

I Am Prof. Chukwuma .C Soludo, CFR, The Executive Governor of the CBN. I Determined To Make Contact With You As Of The Widespread Refuge Information Reaching My Office And The Severe Nature Of Guidelines In My Country.

This Is To Enlighten You About Our Arrangement To Send Fund To You Via Cash Release As It Is The Only System That Will Be Easier For You And Us, We Are Going To Send Your Contract/ inheritance Part Payment Of 10 Million United States Dollars By Way Of Courier Service.

I Have Secured Every Desirable Document To Cover The Money. Note: The Money Is Coming On 2 Security Proof Boxes. The Boxes Are Sealed With Synthetic Nylon That Was Sealed And Padded With Machine. This Fund Was Brought To Us For Our Local A.F.E.M. Market, But Since The Money Was Not Used, I Will Use My Position As The Executive Governor of the CBN To Send This Fund To You.

Please Don't Be Worried About Anything As Am Going To Finance This Transaction and The Boxes Are Coming With A Diplomatic Agent Who Will Go Along With The Boxes To Your House Address When Provided.

All You Need To Do Now Is To Send To Me Your Full House Address And Your Identity Such As, International Passport Or Drivers License Including Your Contact Phone & Fax Numbers For Easy Communication, The Diplomatic Attached Will Travel With It. He Will Call You Immediately He Arrives Your Country's Airport. Hope This Is All Right By You?

I Will Enlighten You When The Special Grace Of God Will Airlift The Boxes.

Note: The Diplomats Do Not Know The Original Contents Of The Boxes. What I Acknowledged To Them As The Contents Is Sensitive Photographic Film Material. I Did Not Declare Money To Them Please. If They Call You And Ask You The Contents Please Tell Them The Same Thing. Send Me An Email And I?ll Let You Know How Far I Have Gone With The Arrangement.

I Will Secure The Diplomatic Immunity Clearance Certificate That Will Be Tagged On The Boxes To Make It Stand As A Diplomatic Consignment. This Clearance Will Make It Pass Every Custom Checkpoint All Over The World Without Any Drawback. Confirm The Receipt Of This Message And Send The Requirements To Me Immediately You Receive This Message.

Please I Need Urgent Reply Because The Boxes Are Scheduled To Be As Soon As We Hear From You. Call Me Immediately You Receive This Message On My Direct Mobile Phone Number : +234-1-2206719.

Best Regards,
Prof. Chukwuma .C Soludo
The Executive Governor
CBN.

A few points:



Charles Soludo exists.
He is the governor of the Central Bank of Nigeria.
In the universe as we know it, the likelihood that he himself sent the e-mail above is 0.000%.
But you knew all that. [If not, please return to the main page and read everything, out loud, to yourself, in a stern tone of voice.]

And now back to our regularly scheduled scambait.
Brother Mark Knopfler
To: chukwumasoludoo.charles969@gmail.com
Sent: Thursday, 17 July, 2008 3:56:18 PM

Dear Professor Soduko

How fortunate that you should contact me at this time. I will shortly be arriving in Lagos on a fact finding mission for the church. Perhaps we could meet and I can provide you with everything in person. I am sure that this will speed things along much quicker than sending emails backwards and forwards. Please confirm your acceptance immediately and we can get the ball rollingv
Remain blessed and swinging

Brother Mark Knopfler
Church of the Sultans of Swing
Visit our Resort http://www.churchofthesultansofswing.0kn.com/
Prof. Soludo

[Apparently the head of the Central Bank cannot make bank-to-bank transfers happen.]

Received: from [82.128.10.225] (YUP ITS NIGERIA) by web46010.mail.sp1.yahoo.com...
Date: Tue, 22 Jul 2008 03:10:36 -0700 (PDT)
From: Charles Soludo <charlessoludo2271@yahoo.com>
Subject: FIND THE ATTACHED COPY AND GET BACK TO ME IMMEDIATELY
To: Brother Mark Knopfler

ATTN:Brother Mark.

I RECEIVED YOUR MAIL YESTERDAY AND THE CONTENT ARE WELL NOTED.

SORRY I COULD NOT RESPONSE THAT YESTERDAY BECAUSE OF TOO BUSY IN MY OFFICE AND YOU SAID YOU ARE COMING DOWN TO NIGERIA IS OK AND YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT WE HAVE WASTED A OT OF TIME AND DO NOT HAVE MUCH TIME AND THE DIPLOMATS ARE LEAVING THIS WEEK TO YOUR CONUTRY.

PLEASE BE INFORMED THAT FROM THE LATEST MEETING THIS MORNING AT THE OFFICE OF THE PRESIDENCY WHERE ALL STAKE HOLDERS WERE INVOLVED INCLUDING THE DIPLOMATIC UNIT.

THE FOLLOWING AGREEMENTS WERE REACHED:

BELOW ARE THE AGREED CASH PAYMENT CENTRES ACCORDING TO REGIONS AND YOU ARE EXPECTED TO TRAVEL TO EITHER OF THIS CENTRES WHERE YOU WILL SIGN YOUR CASH PAYMENT DOCUMENTS AND THEREBY RECIEVE THE CONSIGNMENT.

1. FOR THOSE WITHIN THE ASSIAN CONTINENT, THE PAYMENT CENTRE IS:MALAYSIA
2. FOR THOSE IN THE UNITED KINGDOM, THE PAYMENT CENTRE IS:LONDON
3. FOR THOSE IN THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, THE PAYMENT CENTRE IS: AMERICA
4. FOR THOSE IN THE EUROPEAN COUNTRIES,THE PAYMENT CENTRE IS: HOLLAND
5. FOR THOSE IN THE AFRICAN COUNTRIES,THE PAYMENT CENTRE IS: LONDON AND THE UNITED ARAB EMIRATES.
6.FOR THOSE IN INDIA , THE PAYMENT CENTRE IS : INDIA

SO YOU ARE TO MAKE YOUR CHOICE OF PAYMENT CENTRE AT ANY OF THE CENTRES SO THAT WE CAN FORWARD THE CONTACT OF THE CENTRE TO YOU FOR THE IMMEDIATE PAYMENT.

THIS IS OUR PAYMENT SYSTEM NOW AND PLEASE DO NOT TEACH US OUR JOB AS MOST BANK TO BANK TRANSFERS IN THE PAST WERE NOT SUCESSFUL.

FIND ATTACHED COPY OF MY WORKING ID AND INTERNATIONAL PASS PORT AND WHY WE NEED YOUR IDENTIFICATION TO AVIOD WRONG DELIVERING AND MAKE SURE THAT AS SOON AS THE DIPLOMATS ARRIVE YOU FOLLOW THERE INSTRUCTIONS .

AND DO NOT DISCLOSE TO ANY BODY THE CONTENT OF THE CONSIGNMENT THAT IS FILL WITH MONEY TILL THE CONSIGNMENT ARRIVE AT YOUR DOOR STEP.

AND ALSO YOU GET ALWAYS WRITE TO ME THROUGH MY YAHOO ACCOUNT:

charlessoludo2271@yahoo.com AND MAKE SURE YOU CALL ME ON MY OFFICE LINE +234-1-2206719 FOR MORE DIRECTIVES.

YOUR URGENT RESPONSE TO GET BACK TO ME WE BE IN YOUR FAVOUR .

BEST REGARDS,
PROF CHARLES SOLUDO

(included were some VERY rubbish id)




Brother Mark Knopfler
Date: Tue, 22 Jul 2008 13:30:46

Dear Mr Soduko

I am somewhat confused by your mail. So you are not in fact going to be sending me anything but are asking me to travel to a different country and something about cash payments when you have clearly told me that you have arranged for all monies to be paid. I demand an explanation!

Remain blessed and swinging

Brother Mark Knopfler
Church of the Sultans of Swing
Visit our Resort http://www.churchofthesultansofswing.0kn.com/
Prof. Soludo
Received: from [72.3.137.83] by web46007.mail.sp1.yahoo.com via HTTP; ...
Date: Wed, 23 Jul 2008 06:13:17
From: Charles Soludo <charlessoludo2271@yahoo.com>
Subject: Urgent Response Immediately Before .

ATTN:Brother Mark,

I received your mail and the content are well noted.

Please note that i have make a special arrangement for your own delivering to your door step and you do not have to worry , i even informed the president about you own delivering .

So all you have to do now is to send your delivering address and your telephone number for easy comminication as soon as the diplomats arrive at your door step they will call immediately for the hand over ceremoney of the consignment.

Get back to me with the required information.

Best Regards,

Prof Charles Soludo.
Brother Mark Knopfler
Date: Fri, 25 Jul 2008 10:47:53

Dear Prof Soduko

My delivery address is
Church Offices, Church of the Sultans of Swing Resort, Main Drive, Smegaroon

My private mobile number is 44xxxxxxxxxx

I await your delivery

Remain blessed and swinging

Brother Mark Knopfler
Prof. Soludo
Date: Fri, 25 Jul 2008 06:18:51
From: Charles Soludo <charlessoludo2271@yahoo.com>
Subject: Very Urgent Response.

ATTN: Brother Mark, I received your mail with your telephone number the content are well noted.

Please i will immediately informed you as soon the diplomats leave to your conutry and make sure you call me on my office line today +234-1-2206719 for more directives.

Your urgent response to get back to me we be in your favour.

I wait for your urgent call.

Best Regards.

Prof Charles Soludo.
Prof. Soludo
Date: Sat, 26 Jul 2008 04:42:17

ATTN:Brother Mark,

Did you received my last email yesterday and you should know that the diplomats are leaving by next week.

Urgent Response.

Prof Charles Soludo

{It was the weekend,,, I was busy....probbly - (sic))

Prof. Soludo
Date: Mon, 28 Jul 2008 01:47:30
Subject: Very Very Urgent Response Immediately

ATTN: Brother Mark.

PLease be informed that the diplomats are leaving.

I promise you that the fund will get to your doorstep without any problem. The diplomatic company that will convey the consignment to your conutry is registered and they are only working with the federal government of Nigeria so this is not the first time and you are not the only person.The federal government of Nigeria seal and tag number will be on the consignment so with the tag number your conutry customs can not open it. The boxes will be airlifted to your address on this night and expected to arrive in the next morning . He will contact you immediately he arrives for directives. Every arrangement has been perfected.

WARNING: Do not tell any body that you are expecting any money from Nigeria until the Agent arrives your house for security reason. and iam even registring you as one of the nigeria contractors that is why you should trust me and i promise that this 100% risk free.

The Diplomatic agent does not know the original content of the boxes. Please once he arrives take the boxes inside and Then pay the agent his agency fees and the only money you will pay by yourself is only customs charges in your conutry air port to aviod opening of the consignment by them.

I have secured every needed documents and clearances that will protect these consignments till it reaches its final destination. I spent a lot of money in this transaction.

You are advised to call me on my direct telephone number: +234-1-2206719 for more clarification.

I hope to hear from you.

Best Regards,

PROF CHARLES SOLUDO .

NB: This is my bank website: www.cenbank.org <http://www.cenbank.org/>
, Click About us and click Board Member you will see my face and go through my profiles.
P/s keep very confidential, thanks

{Yeah right... We all believe thats really him dont we!}

Brother Mark Knopfler
Date: Mon, 28 Jul 2008 09:08:29

Dear Charles

Im sorry that I have not been able to reply before. I have been away on a custard skinning weekend in Bollockshire and during a custard race was thrown from my vehicle and after some roly poly found myself jammed against the edge of the bowl and required some spooning to masticate myself.

If you need to contact me by phone, I have arranged that my answering service will put your call through. Please call me on my mobile +44xxxxxxxxxxx

Remain blessed and swinging
Prof. Soludo
Received: from [72.3.137.82] by web46007.mail.sp1.yahoo.com via HTTP; ...
Date: Tue, 29 Jul 2008 03:51:46

From: Charles Soludo Subject: Very Urgent Response Now And Make Sure Immediately The Diplomats Called You Follow There Instructions.

ATTN: Brother Mark.

I received your mail and the content are well noted.

Please be informed that the diplomats just lift yesterday night to arrive in your conutry today and they will call you as soon as possible please make sure you keep your mobile line were they can reach on there arrivel in your conutry air poirt , so that you can keep the customs charges ready for them to aviod opening of your consignment which is full with fund and you know that this is the only money you are going to spend over there is very important , as soon as the diplomats call you coperate with them and they will move immediately to house for the hand over of the consignment.

And make sure you have already concluded with your bank is very risk for that amount to be in your house up to two days.

Immediately the diplomats arrive at your door step , make sure you sign all the original documents which has already made in your name those documents will lead you to deposit the fund into any bank of your chioce without any question that is why you must sign all the original documents coming with them.

Please make sure that your mobile line is open for the diplomats and make sure you follow there instructions to aviod mistake in cost of delivering and also remove your mobile line from answering machine , they need to get you on phone directely.

Immediately you hear from the diplomats make sure you get back to me and they will tell you how much which is the customs charges over ther immediately the arrive at the air port and tell you how you should get the fund across to them.

Urgent Response. Best Regards, Prof Charles Soludo.
Brother Mark Knopfler
Date: Tue, 29 Jul 2008 11:33:48

Dear Cahrles

I am slightly confused by your mail. While I do not claim to be an expert, diplomatic baggage does not attract any customs charges? What charges could there be as the contents that you have stated that are inside the box does not attract any customs charges because gifts are charge free. I am most concerned that whoever it is you are dealing with is trying to scam you out of money.

I shall await their phone call and intend to challenge them because I think they are on the take!

Remain blessed and swinging
Brother Mark Knopfler
Date: Wed, 30 Jul 2008 14:32:02

Dear Carles

I am yet to hear from your diplomat chaps. Is there a problem or have they, as I suspect, done a runner?

Remain blessed and swinging
Prof. Soludo
Received: from [204.16.125.3] by web46001.mail.sp1.yahoo.com via HTTP;...
Date: Wed, 30 Jul 2008 07:39:24
From: Charles Soludo <charlessoludo2271@yahoo.com>
Subject: Very Urgent Response .

ATTN: Brother Mark.

I received your mail and the content are well noted.

Please do not worst what i have been working out for years and now is ready for delivering.

Listen to me that is the diplomatic proceedures , immediately the diplomats arrive in your conutry the beneficiary will pay for customs charges to aviod opening of the consignment i have warned you of this , because if you said what the diplomats do not like the will ever tell the customs to open the consignment and if customs open the customs and find out that is full with fund they will raise there eyebrow on it or run away with the consignment that is what i do not want.

This is the only money you are going to spend and make sure you follow there instructions .

The diplomats just called me today to informed me that they have arrive in your conutry and trying to reach you on phone and it was ranking without response and i told you to make sure that you keep your phone were they can reach you .

You should know that the diplomats are not delivering only your consignment and what you are for customs goes to others ok and i know they will call you back because those who has payed for there customs charges are they people who is receiving today and i hope by tommorrow or if not later today they will call you and make sure you follow there instructions please .

Your urgent response to get back to me we be in your favour , please wait for the diplomats they will call you .

Urgent Response.

Best Regards,
Prof Charles Soludo.
Prof. Soludo
Received: from 72.14.204.174 (EHLO qb-out-1314.google.com) (72.14.204.174) by mta124.mail.ukl.yahoo.com with SMTP; ...
Date: Thu, 31 Jul 2008 06:22:20
From: "soludo charles" <chukwumasoludoo.charles969@gmail.com>
Subject: Very Very Urgent Response And also

ATTN: Brother Mark.

Please be informed that the diplomats has arrive at your conutry and have tryed your number many times and it was not going through way and please do not reply again in this email again for security reason pleae charlessoludo2271@yahoo.com , do
not reply me on this email again only relpy me started from today on this my gmail account or my new emaill address i only open for me and you only for security reason , no other person has this my yahoo email but only you the email is profcharlessoludo5771@yahoo.com
this is the only yahoo email
you reply to me .

Make sure that you call the diplomats now :

Name: David Harrison.
Telephone Number: 447883783126.

All you have to do now is to call him immediately and know what should be done immediately to enable them leave to your door step as was plan here and make sure you comperate with them and pay for the customs charges in your conutry to aviod opening of your consignment by customs.

Your urgent response to get back to me immediately you call them and follow there instructions we be in your favour.

Best Regards,
Prof Charles Soludo.

[He sent it twice.. in a different font in case the first wasnt any good]

Brother Mark Knopfler
Date: Fri, 1 Aug 2008 13:31:44
To: soludo charles <chukwumasoludoo.charles969@gmail.com>

Dear Prof Sudoko

I have tried to call your dimplomats but it just goes through to an answerphone. I have had my phone with me all the time and at no point have I had a call on it from anyone, hence my email to you. I quite frankly find your attitude appalling. I have already suggested to you that you should not trust these people. Not only does diplomatic baggage NOT attract customs in anyway as they are not allowed by UK law to open the boxes but they are not answering the phone. I am really concerned that they are bad people and trying to rip you off.

Remain blessed and swinging
Prof. Soludo
Received: from [217.194.157.45] by web46207.mail.sp1.yahoo.com via HTTP; ...
Date: Tue, 5 Aug 2008 07:48:30
From: Profcharles Soludo <profcharlessoludo5771@yahoo.com>
Subject: urgent response

ATTN: Brother Mark.

Please be informed that the diplomats has arrive at your conutry and have tryed your number many times and it was not going through way and please do not reply again in this email again for security reason please charlessoludo2271@yahoo.com , do
not reply me on this email again only relpy me started from today on this my gmail account or my new emaill address i only open for me and you only for security reason , no other person has this my yahoo email but only you the email is profcharlessoludo5771@yahoo.com
this is the only yahoo email
you reply to me . Make sure that you call the diplomats now :

Name: David Harrison. Telephone Number: 447883783126. All you have to do now is to call him immediately and know what should be done immediately to enable them leave to your door step as was plan here and make sure you comperate with them and pay for the customs charges in your conutry to aviod opening of your consignment by customs. Your urgent response to get back to me immediately you call them and follow there instructions we be in your favour.

Best Regards,
Prof Charles Soludo.

[hhmm same email formatted differently... perhaps he has learnt how to use a computer!]

Brother Mark Knopfler
Date: Tue, 5 Aug 2008 15:59:14
To: Profcharles Soludo <profcharlessoludo5771@yahoo.com>

Dear Prof Soduko

Are you sure thats the correct number? I just get a "the number you dialled is not recognised" My answerphone is always on so if you get your men to call and I cannot answer ( I have a lot of prayer as Im sure you can appreciate, sometimes up to 10 times a day) get them to leave me a message with their number, I can call them back so here it is again, incase I got it wrong the first time... +44xxxxxxxxxxx

I am still concerned that these guys are ripping you off though. If its diplomatic baggage then there are no charges and its against the law in this country to open them. I would be very wary of them to be honest as it sounds like they are taking you for a ride.

Anyway, get them to ring me asap

Remain blessed and swinging
Prof. Soludo
Received: from 72.14.204.174 (EHLO qb-out-1314.google.com) (72.14.204.174) by mta168.mail.ukl.yahoo.com with SMTP; ...
Date: Wed, 6 Aug 2008 07:31:20
From: "soludo charles" <chukwumasoludoo.charles969@gmail.com>
Subject: Very Urgent Response Immediately

ATTN:Brother Mark,

I received your mail and the content are well noted.

The diplomats are still in your conutry now and if you do not reach them today and tommorrow they will be coming back to your consignment and i told you that the only money you are going to pay is customs clearing charges and the diplomats will leave to your door step , theres no way your consignment can not be clear before delivering to you and this is not the first and you should not delay them any more call the diplomats back now and know how much the customs charges is first .

If you are not ready to pay this fee , lets the diplomats start coming back with your consignment simple , no more dealy because much time has been spend .

Then why you have not contacted me since after writing several emails to you and keep the diplomats waiting for over .

Urgent Response and make sure you call the diplomats today.

Best Regards,

Prof Charles Soludo.

[ And then I was sick for a couple of days and coudnt muster the energy to get out of my pit!]

Brother Mark Knopfler
Date: Tue, 12 Aug 2008 07:23:59
To: soludo charles <chukwumasoludoo.charles969@gmail.com>

Dear Professor Charles

I have been laid to the bone unfortunately and have been in hospital. I fell down a flight of steps and broke my rectal cavity. I shall be here for a few more days yet. Fortunately they have allowed me to have my laptop. Perhaps you could get the diplomats to visit me in hospital?

Remain blessed and swinging
Prof. Soludo
Received: from [72.3.137.83] by web46214.mail.sp1.yahoo.com via HTTP; ...
Date: Wed, 6 Aug 2008 07:41:42
From: Profcharles Soludo <profcharlessoludo5771@yahoo.com>
Subject: Very Urgent Response Immediately

ATTN:Brother Mark,

I received your mail and the content are well noted.

The diplomats are still in your conutry now and if you do not reach them today and tommorrow they will be coming back to your consignment ... [Same mail as before]

[He does like to send many mails....]

Brother Mark Knopfler
Date: Tue, 12 Aug 2008 07:25:55

Dear Charles

As I have said many times, the phone number you gave me just rings and rings or it rings out. I gave you my number so that they can contact me.

Remain blessed and swinging
Prof. Soludo
Received: from [72.3.137.83] by web46211.mail.sp1.yahoo.com via HTTP; ...
Date: Wed, 6 Aug 2008 07:41:45
From: Profcharles Soludo <profcharlessoludo5771@yahoo.com>
Subject: Very Urgent Response Immediately

ATTN:Brother Mark,

I received your mail and the content are well noted.

The diplomats are still in your conutry now and if you do not reach them today and tommorrow they will be coming back to your consignment ... [Same mail as before]
Brother Mark Knopfler
Date: Tue, 12 Aug 2008 07:37:45

Dear Prof Soduko

Hopefully you have received my previous mails now? Remain blessed and swinging

Brother Mark Knopfler
Church of the Sultans of Swing
Visit our Resort http://www.churchofthesultansofswing.site40.net

[More to come?]

 

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