OUR DOUBTS ARE TRAITORS


Lewis D. "Lewd" Noogie rides again, in a year-long bait spanning imaginary continents!
His extraction of a pre-nuptual agreement from a scammer is a first for Scamorama.
Lewd's many adventures include If You Value Your Life Send The Money and Don't False Me to Do Stupid Thing to You.

This Shakespeare-quoting Lad impersonates John Githongo. As anyone can Google, the real John Githongo did a stint as Kenya's secretary of ethics and governance. When high-level support for his investigation of kickbacks vanished, he left for Britain. Some accuse him of self-aggrandizement, which if true seems a lesser sin than embezzlement.

The Bad Guy:
John Githongo - Special Duty Assistant to the President of Kenya (on the lam from the Kenyan Government)

The Good Guy:
Lewis D. 'Lewd' Noogie - International Hotel Consultant
Maya Bushburn - his increasingly disgruntled assistant
Olga - East German massage therapist (appears only by mention)

Some bits highlighted for the scam-o-challenged. If it seems complicated, get a friend and read it back and forth.


John Githongo
Date: 29 May 2008

ATTN; INVESTING

I hereby ask for your co-operation to building a Tourist Hotel/ shopping Mall or Real Estate in your country. I am sorry if this is not in line with your business. I need an experienced person like you to assist me to set up and develop the projects. Then assume responsibility of ownership as Managing Director. We have to agree on mode of profit/loss sharing, though this shall be taken care of by the partnership DEED that will ensue later.

As a way of introduction John Githongo citizen of Nairobi, Kenya. Special Duty Assistant to the president of Kenya - Mwai Kibak.

At the wake of the last cataclysm that envelopped his alleged re-election in which thousands of people were killed by soldiers loyal to the President, which was snowballing into full scale war, he sent me to Britain to buy war ammunition in readiness for any eventuality with the sum of $20,500,000.00 (Twenty Million, Five Hundred Thousand U...........S. Dollars). This amount you may want to know, was the proceeds from the sale and export of diamond.

In order to have easy passage, this amount was packaged in two diplomatic rates with immunity against custom checks, and so I landed in Britain. But I had to change my mind quickly since I did not like the action of the President against his own people and more over he rigged the election at the expense of the opposition which he now wanted to annihilate. Owing to my sympathy to our people I resolved and quietly lodged the money into the vault of a finance house in Britain using the reserve fund he gave me to pay for the deposit charges, with a little balance to move out of Britain, and deffected to another Afican country where it will be easier for me to obtain political asylum for the safety of my life because I know that he is desparately looking for me for execution secretly. Immediately I asked my family to elope to a nearby country temporarily until I am able to secure relocation to your country.

However, due to my international status, I was not able to use my name as the beneficiary to this consignment. So, I agreed with the finance house that this fund should be released to my appointed RECEIVER AND PARTNER who will have to present to them evidence of deposit which was issued to me which I will now send to you for presentation to the finance house.

You have to tell me how much percentage of the total amount you can accept for your invaluable assistance. Above all, you have to be honest and truthful to me.

This is absolutely necessary since we have never met, though we shall definitely meet at the appropriate time in the course of this business. Furthermore, for all the many years of service I put in, this money is the only thing I have show for it, and so its safety ensures my existence and that of my family otherwise, we are finished.

I shall be highly relieved to receive your positive and immediate reply with your contact phone number to facilitate communication given the importance of this business me.

Your sincerely,
John Githongo
Lewd Noogie
Date: 30 May 2008

Mr. Githingo,

While I am always available to assist investors, I think it best that I decline your offer. If you have $20 million belonging to the persident of Kenya I can understand why he might be a bit pissed off at you.

My suggestion would be for you to give him his money back and stay as far away from Kenya as you can.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie
John Githongo

[If this isn't political satire, what is?]

Dear Lewis Noogie

You do not seem to understand the secret behind this.

This money is not his money, rather state money that he uses as his private money and pays stepends as salary.

He has acquired properties in many parts of the world at the expense of the poor people of Kenya. That was why I decided to defect with this amount to invest offshore. Later, I might have a foundation that will take care of the poor in Kenya. I know what I am doing. I could not have taken this action out of nothing.
So, it is better and reasonable for you to come to my rescue. You have nothing to fear, as he does not know my way-about now.

Yours sincerely,
Dr. John Githongo.
Lewd Noogie
Mr. Githongo,

While this is a very interesting proposition, I fear that the risks outweigh the potential benefits. First of all, whether the money belongs to the president or not, I'm sure he THINKS it belongs to him. I'm sure he's not going to just let somebody walk away with that much money.

Secondly, I'm quite sure he knows where you are. I'm sure that Kenya has security agencies that specialize in tracking people down and knowing where they are at every minute. And the last thing I need is a bunch of these guys looking for my ass.

As much as I'd like to help you, it just sounds too dangerous.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie
John Githongo
Dear Mr. Lewis Noogie,
I want to assure you that my former boss can never trace me. That was why I had to take the route to West African from Britain. In the first place, he would least expect that I am down here. Secondly, I am temporarily staying in a village in a border town between Republic of Benin and Nigeria.

[... and the Lad may be Nigerian rather than Kenyan... ]

Thirdly, Kenya has not gotten that kind of security or investigators of that kind of level you know. Most importantly, he can not look for me openly or for too long because it will expose him since the money was never approved by parliament, rather out of his discretion as the president. We know what happens in government. Funds of this nature are never sought for perpetually. That is why a lot of African funds are lost to banks in Switzerland because it is either such leaders die or are displaced and rendered useless, while they left no trace.

I have left no trace to my way-about. I will completely shut them off when I cross over to your country. Part of the strategy is to present you as the owner of the fund, and I did agree with the finance house. That is their business. Whatever you tell them they will do as instructed.

To this end, I want you to remove such fears, and confidently accept to assist me and send your phone number so that we do not waste much time.
I look forward to read from you soonest.
Yours sincerely,
Dr. John Githongo
Lewd Noogie
Date: 2 Jun 2008, 17h28

Mr. Githingo,

As I said before, I wish I could help you but I think you're making a big mistake to think that you can't be found. It's a simple matter for them to check who was on flights out of Britain and where they went. And once they find you they have ways of making you sing like a canary. The next thing you know I've got Interpol cops on my doorstep dragging my ass to Kenya to stand trial. Don't get me wrong, I would very much like to see Kenya but not as a defendant in an embezzlement trial.

Risky. Very risky.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie
John Githongo
Dear Lewis Noogie ,

Thank you for making these statements and revelation about your fears.

My former boss will need to be a spirit before he could trace me if he can ever be or do.

How do you expect a knowledgeable man like to me to run, and leave traces in this wide world? I will be stupid to do so. If that is part of your fears, please remove it instantly.

In the first instance, I went to Britain by ship because I could not have travelled by air considering the amount I had to travel with.

When I departed Britain, he never knew. Neither does he know if I got to Britain at last. I cut off communication with him immediately we set sailing. I am gone out of him, I am gone forever. I chosed to be in this part of Africa, because it is a big country which he can not traverse, and could least think of. Moreover, I crossed land borders of over four countries before I got here without passports, with only tipping and hiding under refugee and ECOWAS protocols. Sometimes we followed bush footparts led my natives whose source of livelihood is crossing immigrants via land borders.

Let let impress it upon you, I would not have contacted you if I am not 100% secured here. That is why I do not want to waste time here.

So, please, I appeal to you once more. This is not risky at all. There is nothing that will link you with this. The money has no record from him. He took advantage of the diplomatic crates that are not usually searched by customs to move this money. My name will never be mentioned. Now that I threw away my passport to beat immigration, I have to process another passport here, using a different name he can never dream of.

Please, I covered my track intelligently, and do not forget I had training on Intelligence gathering.
That is why I do not intend to go about canvassing. It is only you I want to help me out of this. I look forward to positive response urgently.

Yours sincerely,
Dr. John Githongo.
Lewd Noogie
Date: 3 Jun 2008, 19h33

Mr. Githongo,

As tempting as it sounds, I still can't put down my fear of getting involved in something that could possibly get me killed. You said yourself that the president has guys out looking for you to execute you. Getting shot has never been my idea of a good time.

Dude, they got so many ways to find people these days. There's probably a satellite over you right now watching you as you sit on the crapper. And if they have people looking to execute you, they probably ain't gonna be too keen on just taking my ass prisoner.

I just don't know about this.
Lewis
John Githongo
Dear Lewis Noogie,

Do not be carried away by that initial statement. The attempt fizzles out within a very short time. Do you know why? It is because if it blows open, he will be in trouble in Kenya not me. Therefore, I am sure by now he must have told his men to stop any further search. He is still on the seat after reaching a compromise with opposition, and so he stands the chance of making much more money than this. The Diamond market is still booming.

Again who gave Kenya government Satellite? Our technology is far far behind what you have in your country. Almost all our needs are imported things including food. Please cancel this out of your mind. It is fear without any concrete base.

Nobody will KILL me or you. We shall live to enjoy this money. Let me tell you what Williams Shakespear said, "OUR DOUBTS ARE TRAITORS, AND MAKE US LOOSE THE GOOD WE MIGHT OFTEN WIN BY FEARING TO ATTEMPT THEM". Please read this and advise yourself on this issue and let us use this valuable time to move this fund immediately.

Upon all the men from government circle who had taken large sums of money and bolted away from Kenya, no government has been able to catch any one of them. Those who took over also have in mind to make their own wealth, then how do you expect them to waste their going to look for any one.

I think I have made more than enough explanation for you to finally make up your mind to help me here.

Yours sincerely,
Dr. John Githongo.
Lewd Noogie
Date: 4 Jun 2008, 20h06

Mr. Githingo,

While I am still not 100% decided, what exactly would you have me do?

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie
John Githongo
Thank you for your very important question.

For now, the most important role you have to play is to help secure the fund and keep same in your name this time to forclose any trace finally. Once you receive this fund from the finance house and open an account in your name and deposit same, we can go rejoicing.

As a strategy, I have agreed with the finance house not to go into much documentation to avoid trace from anywhere, and any angle in the world.

Therefore, for you to receive the fund from the finance house, you only need to present to their agent the DEPOSIT CERTIFICATE which they issued to me then.

Again it is either you go to London at their office to receive the fund, or they will deliver same to you through a nearby country where they enjoy immunity. They can equally make use of DIPLOMATS TO EMBARK ON SPECIAL DELIVERY. These are the hints the finance house gave me to serve our purpose.

[Scammer standard operating procedure: the victim either presents himself in person and is fleeced using, for instance, the wash-wash or dirty money technique; or he pays an imaginary attorney or banker to collect the imaginary money for him.]

That is why I have asked you to throw that fear away and lets concentrate to do a better and rewarding job.

Once I receive your phone number, I will send the Deposit Certificate to you and inform the finance house to commence the process of delivery and get you posted.

Yours sincerley,
Dr. John Githongo.
Lewd Noogie
Date: 5 Jun 2008, 14h44

Mr. Githongo,

I have concerns about this fund being put in my name. If and when the Feds from Kenya track this fund down, it won't be hard for them to find me. I know you keep telling me that there's no risk but if they do find out about it, the Scheissensturm will be in my direction, not yours.

Isn't there some way this can be done without my name being used?

Lewis D. Noogie
John Githongo
Dear Lewis Noogie

I have been in government for 25 years, and I can tell you about the list of names had made away with millions and billions of Dollars and no one cared to look for them. It has become a tradition. The government is not spirit. It is same human beings. Those set of people equally want to make their own money and go away. This has been the practice. So stop fearing. Nothing will happen to you.

But if you insist, by the time you confirm the receipt of the money from the finance house, I can give you the new name for processing my travelling documents which you can use to lodge the money. Or you can use any other name you like. But I bate you nothing- I mean nothing will ever happen to me. I have been blessed with this money. It was an opportunity I prayed for and it came. I brought myself so close to my former boss, that was why he felt I was the one that will do the hatchet job for him. I did it because he wanted to use the weapons to spill more bloods. Do it for me and your own mutual benefits, and you will not loose sleep even one night.

Can we get started now. Send your phone number and choose delivery mode for me to advise the finance house accordingly.

Yours sincerely,
Dr. John Githongo.
Lewd Noogie
Date: 5 Jun 2008, 21h01

Mr. Githongo,

I still don't think you understand my concern - if I receive the money in my name, it doesn't matter who's name I deposit it in, they'll still come after me.

I have a friend here who is retired government and he can get away with anything. Let me find out if we can maybe have the fund put in his name.

I'll get back to you on this.
Lewis D. Noogie
John Githongo
Dear Lewis Noogie :

Well, I will give you the discretion to do that. But please ensure that the person is trustworthy. Otherwise, I still maintain that no one will come after us.

When you consider the my level of enlightenment, you should be able to take my words.
Nobody can or will trace this money.

For your information once Kibak is out of government after some years, I will still go back to Kenya to contest for election. He did it himself. He took money and ran away, and from exile he fought his way back through coalition with opposition and he won.

That is why I have severally advised you not to entertain any fear whatsoever.

I am waiting.
Yours sincerely,
Dr. John Githongo.
Lewd Noogie
Date: 9 Jun 2008, 0h59

Mr. Githongo,

I'm sorry but my friend has advised me that your proposition is too dangerous and I must withdraw my support. As an ex-government official, he is quite knowledgeable about government security measures and he advises me that it would quite a simple matter for the Kenyan government to locate both you and myself and that we would both end up with our asses in slings.

All I can say is I wish you the bst of luck with this and please be very careful.
John Githongo
Dear Lewis Noogie

I can now unmask myself because you never know my academic standing which I strongly believe informed your action. When you told me that you were going to link up a friend, I had already predetermined what the outcome would be. So, I was never surprised at your response.

For your information I was doing a sensitive job for my former boss because of my specialty. I took a doctorate degree in criminology, and another degree in Psychology plus some courses in Accounting. Apart from this, I have heard 25 years working experience with other some other African countries.

Consequenly, no one can beat me in what I know how to do best. It is absolutely impossible because I know our limitations when I was in government. That was why I did quote Shakespear for you thinking that you would read between the lines and fathom the psychological leaning of that adage, but you could not rationalise that construct.. The mistake you and your friend is making is to compare our security or government with that of America - too bad. There is no basis on this earth for anyone to do so. Come out of this please. Poor country like Kenya who can not feed her people to have security network to trace me outside their shores - impossible.

Let me tell you, as against what your friend told you, government is not SPIRIT. Take it from me. Undecernibly, we in government exploit the ignorance of the people by taking information and working on them. That is what happens most of the times. Government can not even catch a fly when people fail or refuse to volunteer information. In our part of the world, it is a tabo and against the tradition of people to give information. Anyone who violates this traditional norm is either killed or ostracized from the society for live. So, no one wants to venture this. That is why most crimes are never dictated. That is why the former President of Congo Republic. Mobutu Se Se seko transferrred $10b ($10 billion U.S. Dollars ) to Switzerland banks without anyone knowing until he died. That money is trapped in Swiss banks till today. You can go and check it out. I am in possession of record of other African leaders who moved large sums of money abroad, and are still today back home enjoying their money. If you doubt it, I will release such information to you to prove beyong reasonable doubt my point, and also to discounternance what your friend told you based on the little knowledge he might have had.

Again the legal angle. Our courts are court of evidence. No matter what you are, if you go to court without concrete evidence, and you orally accuse someone, the court will throw such case out. Where will my former get evidence? He has no witness because this was top secret that happened between me and him alone.

I have taken time to make this explanation because;

1. I can not go about canvassing for help and exposing myself.

2. Your friend may be an enemy of progress who discouraged you because inside him he felt that you would be greater than him. Do not doubt this because the the same SHAKESPEAR SAID, "THERE IS NO ART TO FIND A MIND'S CONTRUCTION IN THE FACE".

This is because a man may be laughing with you, but he has another snister motive in his mind, and you can never know this until he acts it out. That is human being for you.

As such if you would take final decision and back out, based on what your friend told you, then something is wrong somewhere. You have to take a second look at this, and get back to me.

FINALLY, I WANT TO ASSURE YOU WITH THE LAST DROP OF MY BLOOK, THAT NOTHING - I MEAN NOTHING WILL EVER EVER HAPPEN TO YOU AND ME IN THIS BUSINESS UNTIL WE DEPART FROM THIS EARTH BECAUSE OF THIS MONEY THAT I HAVE DEFTLY SECURED.

Your sincerely,
John Githongo (Ph. D)
Lewd Noogie
Mr. Githongo,

I don't know. When you first wrote to me you were looking for help in investing in or building a hotel or a shopping mall. I have no problem with that because that is my area of expertise. It's all this spy stuff that still has me worried. I don't know if I want to have to be constantly watching over my shoulder for some Kenyan agent who wants to skewer me with a spear.

First of all, this arrangement to get the money here to Russia is very unorthodox. I am more accustomed to bank-to-bank transfers for this kind of thing. Is there not some other way to do this?

Lewis D. Noogie
John Githongo
Dear Lewis Noogie

Yes, I like your decision now to part-take in this fund movement.. Once again, you do not have to watch over your shoulders at all. No Kenyan agent can ever aim any spear at your shoulders or back - I promise. Kenyan has more internal problems to grapple with talkless pf looking for you they do not know from Adams. Throw this thought completely away.

Before bank to bank transfer can be embarked upon, you have to go and receive the fund first. For this reason, I have resolved with the finance house that they deliver the fund to you in Spain, where you have to open account, lodge the money in and GIVE THE BANK STANDING ORDER TO TRANSFER THE MONEY IN BITS to Russia to avoid suspicion.

Therefore, using their DIPLOMATIC IMMUNITY in Spain, the money will be moved out of London, and taken to Spain where you have to go and receive same peacefully and smoothly.
Given my background in security matters, I appeal to you to follow my advice religiously, and you will see that every arrangement will work out smoothly and with precision.

You can now send your phone number so that I can send the deposit certificate to you for us to move ahead.

Yours sincerely,
Dr. John Githongo
Lewd Noogie
Date: 11 Jun 2008, 20h11

Mr. Githingo,

I'm sorry my friend but I can't be running off to Spain on short notice. And why Spain? If you're going to move the money out of London, just have them bring it here to Russia. I can receive it in Moscow and deposit it in one of my accounts there.

Let's make this as simple as possible, shall we?
Lewis
John Githongo
Dear Lewis Noogie

I have discussed with the director of operations of the finance house, and he said that his company did not sign any agreement with your country for diplomatic waivers or immunity. Therefore, what this means is that you have to decide receiving the fund in London or Spain.

I want you to note that funds or valuables deposited with this finance house are sealed and so are not subject to normal custom checks at the ports. They are covered by Diplomatic immunity and the content taken as declared in the DECLARATION FORM given by the finance house. They try as much to respect the agreement entered into with them which endears them to the users of their services.

So, please let me know which country you have chosen - London or Spain.

Yours sincerely,
Dr. John Githongo.

["Githongo" will engage a crony in whichever country Lewd chooses.]

Lewd Noogie
Date: 13 Jun 2008, 15h36

Mr. Githongo,

I must confess that this is the first time I have ever heard of a company having diplomatic immunity. I previously thought that it was restricted to governmental diplomats.

I have checked my calandar and the earliest I will be able to travel to either London or Spain is sometime in November or December. Is this acceptable to you?

Lewis
John Githongo
Dear Lewis Noogie

What is important is my temporary political asylum. It will soon expire, and I do not have chance to renew same.

Please could you consider stepping down the date of your arrival?

Diplomatic immunity I have been told applies to corporate organisations that render specialized services. It has to be by special arrangement with the government, and not given anyhow. Precisely they are certified by government.

Could you please send your phone number so that I can call to speak with you using providers service.

Yours sincerely,
Dr. John Githongo.
Lewd Noogie
Date: 13 Jun 2008, 18h22

Mr. Githongo,

I'm sorry but becuase of the terms of my contract with this hotel I will not be able to travel before November or December. This is a very lucrative contract for me and it would be very risky for me to be away during peak occupancy season.

My phone number here is 7-495-964-****. This is the hotel front desk, just ask for Lewis and they will locate me. It's very late now so it's probably better to try tomorrow. Gadyukina is a very remote village and we are on satelllite feed here. The reception is not very good sometimes so if you don't get through the first time, keep trying.

By the way, my friends call me Lewd (short for Lewis D.).

Lewd

[My usual apologies to the good folk manning the Moscow Vehicle Towing Hotline...]

John Githongo
Dear Lewis Noogie

Thank you for the telephone number.

I am arranging a number through which you can call me through a friend who is a native of this place.

Well, I will advise you arrange for your trip in November. But if you ask me, the trip to London or Spain will not last more than two days or less.

Before, you get their the finance house would have arranged the delivery, so that as soon as you arrive, the hand over will take place. Then you use the next day to open account pay the money in and travel back. It should not take more than this.

Think over this again. Do not forget that you will work in the investment as the Managing Director and Partner.

Yours sincerely,
Dr. John Githongo.
Lewd Noogie
Date: 16 Jun 2008, 22h52

Mr. Githongo,

If November works for you then we're all set. I'll put it on my calendar but it might be a good idea if you maybe give me a reminder email sometime towards the end of October.

I'll talk to you then.
Lewd
John Githongo
Dear Lewis Noogie

I called you today but the person who picked the phone said NO ENGLISH. Tell me when you will be on duty so that I can call and speak to you.

Yours sincerely,
Dr. John Githongo.
John Githongo
Dear Lewis Noogie

I am still trying to arrange a telephone number by which you can still call me too.

i will definitely reach you from time to time to refresh your memory and keep the friendship going until then.

But do not fail to shorten the period should you be chanced suddenly - who knows.

By the time you are about to move, I will send to you deposit certificate for identification.
Yours sincerely,

Dr. John Githongo

.... a little time goes by ... we're into 2009 ... and look who's back!

John Githongo
Dear Lewis Noogie

You have kept me in endless suspense, and my political asylum has expired. I have been driven out of the refugee camp, and now hiding since I longer enjoy any legal privileges.

I can not go about canvasing. No other one to help me come out of this helpless situation except you.

Please come to my rescue before it is too late.

I waited for your reply since you selected the month you shall be chanced to go to London, but all to no avail.

Please, reply this message immediately to restor my hope and tell me when you can go and receive this fund.

I am waiting.

Yours sincerely,
John Githongo.
Lewd Noogie
John,

So good to hear from you but I'm sorry to hear of your current circumstances. I don't understand how refugee status can expire but it wouldn't surprise me to find out that the Kenyan government tracked you down and arranged to have you tossed out of the camp..What are you going to do now?

Things haven't changed much for me, still working my ass off here in Russia.. Maybe you ought to think about coming up here for a few months until things cool off. I can get you a good discount on a nice room here at the hotel..

Give it some thought and let me know.

Lewd
John Githongo
Dear Lewis D.

Your reply has relieved me a bit. I never knew I would ever be connected with you again after this long wait.

I was granted political asylum, and I had to go to refugee camp to stay since I had run out of money for my daily upkeep having exhausted the reserved cash on me in my effort to travel down to Africa. I came to this after paying the huge deposit cost which I had no knowledge of, but had to pay in order to save my fund.

Please, when will you be ready to pick the fund in London, because the former date you gave had passed and you did not write back to me.

It is hard for me to leave this place now because I have no money to process my travelling documents. All my hope is in the fund in London. But if you can help me to process my travelling documents, that will be great, and you can be sure 100 refund will be made to you once you confirm receipt of the fund in London.

Please keep me in constant contact until you receive this money in London. It is my only hope now.

I await your earliest reply.

Yours sincerely,
John Githongo.
Lewd Noogie
Date: 2 Mar 2009, 21h02

John,

I talked with Boris, my friend in Russian immigration and he says he can speed things up on a visa for you if you want to come here for awhile.
Let me know what you want to do.

Lewd
John Githongo
Date: Friday, March 6, 2009, 4:01 AM

Dear Lewd

I have just received your mail after being relieved from my sickness.

It is not possible for me to file for any Russian VISA now because I lack the documents to do so. That is why I want to monitor this money from here. Then when you receive it, I can instruct you to remove some amount and send to me so that I can use it to process and secure new documents with which I can seek for Russian VISAS. That is the situation for now.

My coming to this place was strategic in security issues. I was avoiding being traced, and it has worked out. The government for now, is totally blind about my way about.

So, please do what you can to help me.

Yours sincerely,
John Githongo.
Lewd Noogie
Date: 8 Mar 2009, 19h08

John,

I don't understand what you mean when you say you can't get a Russian visa because you don't have the documents to do so. My friend, all you need is a passport. I will do all the necessary preliminary work and all you have to do is get to the Russian consulate and pick up your visa.

Not a problem.

Lewd
John Githongo
Date: Monday, March 9, 2009, 2:17 AM

Dear Lewd

I have not passport.

I had to destroy my Kenyan Passport so as to hide my identity for security reasons.

I need to change my nationality and get either Nigerian passport or Republic of Benin Passport. This is will need some amount that I do not have.

So, this is the area I need your financial help, otherwise I am stuck.

Please, no matter how small, help me.

John.
Lewd Noogie
Date: Mardi 10 Mars 2009, 14h42

John, let me get this straight - you destroyed your passport to hide your identity? Have you gone completely simple on me? Did you ever think about maybe just hiding your passport? And now you can't move without a passport? For someone who is supposed to be knowledgeable about security matters, you didn't think this through very well, did you?

I'd like to help you John but this is getting too complicated. I told you if you took money from the president of Kenya that bad things were going to happen. No, you said, Kenya's security service isn't sophisticated enough to track you down. Well, it sounds like somebody's getting pretty close to finding your ass.

This is all starting to sound dangerous again. Next thing you know they'll be looking for me.

Lewd
John Githongo
Dear Lewd

Please I want you to understand that what I have done with my former passport is the best way to do it. I can now claim any nationality since there is no old passport to implicate me.

Always seek for clarification in any matter of this nature that you are not conversant with. The use of derogatory or vile word in this case, is a slight on my person. It is not palatable at all. Please try to minimize this.

I want to assure you that no one can ever ever see your hand in this business. It will be mere suspicion on your side to think so. But it will never happen.

Therefore, any amount you can afford to send to me now, I will use to secure Republic of Benin or Nigerian Passport as a citizen of this place and no more Kenya, and everything will work out fine I can assure you once more.

It is likely to be Nigeria that I will choose because it is large country and of course the biggest in Africa with about 140m people as I have been told. So, I have started making contacts via my friend here, and he has given me hints on how to go about it.

Please, my brother Lewd, you are the only one who can help me do this. You have seen that I can not go about canvassing for help to secure myself. That was why I had to wait for you all this while. Therefore, do not disappoint me on mere suspicion. No.

I am waiting for your favourable reply.

Yours sincerely,
John Githongo.
Lewd Noogie
John,

Am I to understand you want me to send you money? How is it that a man as wealthy as you are needs me to send you money? I presume you made arrangements to access your money while you are there, wherever you are.

I don't even know how I would get money to you.

Lewd
John Githongo
Dear Lewd,

Well, I have no choice than to beg for your financial assistance now.

I also have to explain that I deposited the money under seal for security reasons. Moreover, as you might have observed in the deposit certificate, the fund was declared as family treasures as a strong security measure to ensure the safety of the fund which was place in their strongroom/bonded warehouse as classified goods that needs special clearance procedures.

The huge deposit cost I paid left me with less amount because it was never known before hand. Please bear with me.

Now, I will advise you to send money to me through a Nigerian friends name by Western Union through whom I can receive such remittance intact. He is a good samaritan, who has been so good to me though poor. At least, he gives me bits of information I know of his country, and Republic of Benin.

I will forward his name to you as soon as you are ready to make the remittance to me.

I look forward to reply soonest.

Yours sincerely,
John Githongo.
Lewd Noogie
John,

We have a minor problem here. The hotel that I am consulting to is in a small village in the Russian Far East. There is nothing even resembling a Western Union office here. The nearest one is in Irkutsk which is 8 hours away by car if the weather is good and right now the weather is not good. We're in the middle of the worst winter in 25 years and the roads will be impassable until mid-May.

The best way would be if you give me your bank account number and I wire the money to you. By the way, how much money are we talking here?

Lewd
John Githongo
Dear

Since I do not have account here, I will ask you to give me a little time to look for account through this man friend.

As for the amount, my good friend told me that it will cost me about $7,500..00 to complete the entire process.

According to him, it will involve getting an attorney who will have to take me through their courts for Affidavits, National Population Commission, Internal affairs Office, and immigration etc.

Please note that you have to keep good record of all your expenses, because I will have to refund you to the last Cent, and moreover show my appreciation to you for all your efforts once you confirm the receipt of my fund.

Could you please send me your hand phone through which I can call and speak to you.

As soon as I get the account particulars, I will send same to you.

Thanks for your understanding of my precarious situation and your acceptance to assist me.

Yours sincerely,
John Githongo.
Lewd Noogie
$7,500???? To become a Nigerian???? John, this is unbelievable! Isn't there a cheaper country to switch your citizenship to? Can't you be a Korean or a Jamaican or something like that? Or why don't you just go get another Kenyan passport? Tell them you lost your other one.

Jeez, John, don't destroy anymore passports, ok? That was a stupid thing to do and it really makes me wonder if you have any clue what you're doing.

That's a lot of money. I gotta see if I'm going to be able to pull that much together. $7,500?? This is idiotic. No offense, and I hope you take this in the spirit in which it's offered, but sometimes you are dumber than a bag of rocks. Don't do crap like that again until you talk to me.

Lewd
John Githongo
Dear

I received your message, and I understand how you feel. But lets get things going because I took the best option diplomatically at the time.

I can not get another Kenyan Passport because that is dangerous for me now.
I can only ask my friend to inquire about the cost in Republic of Benin.

To clarify the issue well, the amount is meant to cover a lot of paper work which will position me as a natural citizen of the country. Already my friend has helped to make necessary contacts that will help me achieve this smoothly as soon as you make the fund available to me.

See the offices the process will pass through;
1. Community
2. Local government
3. State
4. Internal Affairs office/Immigration
5. External Affairs - Federal too.
6. Supreme court Affidavit affirming citizenship
7. National Population Commission - issuance of certificate and entry of my new name into their demographic data.
8. Security Check
9. Issuance of full Citizenship Certificate - the end.

You can see why it is costing so much. Every process has to be authentic and legal so that I will move out of this place with lots of confidence, and no one can ever dare either queston me unnecessarily, and stop me in transit for any reasons.

I will advise you to try everything possible to source for the money realizing that YOU WILL GET A REFUND IMMEDIATELY MY MONEY LANDS IN RUSSIA. This is definite and not negotiable.

As soon as I get the account particulars through which you can make the remittance, I will send to you.

Please bear with me. It will be okay at the end, and I look forward to toast for the success of this in the comfort of your home in Russia.

Have a nice day and remain blessed for all your efforts and concerns.

Yours sincerely,
John Githongo.
Lewd Noogie
John,

I'm a man who likes to understand all aspects of the business deals that I'm involved in. You said in your email, "I can not get another Kenyan Passport because that is dangerous for me now".

Please explain why it would be dangerous.

Lewd
John Githongo
Dear Lewd,

Well, in my first letter to you I explained the condition under which I took this money $20.5m. I wish not to repeat myself or you may refer to my first letter to you.

But all the same being dangerous I mean is on my side. Not you.
The fact remains that I have the legal right to change my nationality, and that I want to do perfectly this time. Therefore, do not bother asking me what that statement means. It is of NO EFFECT TO YOU at all.

I have a number of investments I have set my mind on which you will be of great assistance when I come over to your country. That is where I am focusing all my attention now. I want you to think along this line, and do whatever you can to help me out.

I am still waiting for my friend to bring the account. Once he is through with it, I will send same to you.

I want to thank you for your understanding and prompt responses so far. It gives me hope and confidence about your commitment to this business, and I want to promise you that we shall do good businesses as soon as I come over.

Remain blessed.

Yours sincerely
John Githongo.
Lewd Noogie
Listen, John, at this point if it's dangerous for you it is also dangerous for me. It's a simple matter for the Kenyan security services to find both of us. It's obvious to me that they have already found you and it is they who are responsible for the predicament you are currently in - broke and on the run.

I TOLD you you weren't doing this right and that you need to be careful. I know they will be coming for me next.

What are we going to do?
John Githongo
Dear Lewd

I received your message, and laughed because you are taking the Kenyan security to the height they can never attain in the next 100 years.

Please stop this unfounded fear and believe. They can never ever find my path. I am on top of the situation. So, the earlier you ignore them, the better for us.

As far as I know, very soon I will be in Russia to resume normal business with you. It all depends on you are committed and able to fasten the process.

Meanwhile, enclosed is the account you need to send the $7,500.00 as already agreed that my friend has been able to source;

AGE - PANQIRO TOWN
OUHAI DISTRICT
WENZHOUH
ACCOUNT NUMBER; 111009685368-20
IHSWIFTSZ DBCNBS
CHINA.

Do send the payment remittance slip so that I can give the owner of the account for him to clear and hand over the money to me for the processing of the documents. My friend will help me to collect the necessary forms prior to your remittance so that there will be no time wasted.

I want to thank you once again for your cooperation.

Yours sinerely,
John Githongo.
Lewd Noogie
John,

I think you're laughing off this Kenyan security services thing because you don't want me to know how dangerous this whole transaction is. You're afraid that if I know how much danger we're in that I'll back out. That's it, isn't it?

Let me tell you how bad this is getting. Last night there were three strangers sitting in the hotel bar, very suspicious-looking strangers. I tried to get the bartender to talk to them and find out where they're from but they wouldn't say. I'm sure they're here becuase of me helping you. I'm telling you, John, a lot of these countries have ways that nobody knows about. I read where they have these missile-firing drones that can follow you around until somebody decides to take you out and then BOOM! You're decorating the landscape with your body parts.

And you want me to send money to China. Why China? Are they part of this thing now? Are the Chinese gonna be after our asses now?

I'm worried here. I'm not sure what we're doing.
John Githongo
Dear Lewd,

LITTLE CORRECTION IN THE ACCOUNT;

AGE,PANQIAO TOWN [possibly Agricultural Bank]
OUHAI DISTRICT
WENZHOUH
ACCOUNT NUMBER; 111009685368-20
IHSWIFT' SZ DBCNBS
CHINA.

Please, above is a little correction in the account particulars I just sent to you yesterday. It was typographical error. Now correct.

On a more serious note, since we are engaged in this mutual relationship, the best I can do is to tell you the TRUTH, THE WHOLE TRUGH, AND NOTHING BUT THE TRUTH. Then the onus is on you to believe me, and lets get straight to business and conclude this as soon as possible.

Dwelling so much in a security issue that I have taken care of from my experience and training is like trying to dig up something that does not exist in the first place. The story of what happened in your hotel can not be linked to what I am doing with you, even if they are spirits. Absolutely not connected to this. Do not create unnecessary fear in your mind. Here I am quite sure no information gets off from me. I do not go by the name John Githongo here.

It is not true that I am hiding anything that will make you backout. That is again absolutely wrong. I do not know why you are taking things this way. I never bargained for this. This is simple. Please stop emotional comments.

Remember I told you that I do not have account. So, I had to indirectly tell my friend to help source for account. He got this from one of his own friend who imports goods from China.

What he does is you pay the money to this account, send the payment slip as evidence that has to be showed to him for confirmation of your payment, he gives me the money here. They do this because of the rigorous process of currency exchange, restrictions, and much documentation they go through before importing goods. Therefore, it is easier for them to help people receive such money and pay from their domicilary account here or local currency equivalent as the owner wishes.

There is no story as to the person who paid the money, neither story about me who is receiving the money. The man does not even know me. He knows my friend for many years according to him and he is reliable.

Please I will advise you to go ahead and make the payment and keep me posted urgently.

Have a nice day and remain blessed for your understanding.

Yours sincerely,
John Githongo.
John Githongo
Dear Lewd

Since you have not replied, I have to reply your last letter once more point by point and you raised those questions;

1. It not ABSOLUTELY NOTE TRUE. I have laid bare to you all aspects of this transaction.

2. Those that came to your hotel are not from Kenya. I want to bet with my life that they were not for you at all. They could not, and do not know you, not to talk of linking you with anything that happened in Kenya. Wrong, wrong, wrong!

3. The payment through a bank in China does not mean they know anything about you or me. No one is after this. It is purely business.

4. I want to give you 100% assurance that what we are doing is straight. I want to also reassure you again that you are not facing any atom of risks at all. My word is my bond. Accept my assurance. When you see me in person, you will know that you are dealing with a responsible knowledgeable man whose words should not be doubted for any reasons.

Fears and apprehensions of this nature made Williams Schakespear to postulate thus; "OUR DOUBTS ARE TRAITORS, AND MAKE US LOOSE THE GOOD WE MIGHT OFTEN WIN BY FEARING TO ATTEMPT THEM". This is a food for thought for you. You have to ponder over this and go ahead to make the payment and send the payment slip immediately for claims from the importer.

I want to receive your reply soonest.

Yours sincerely,
Dr. John Githongo.
Lewd Noogie
John,

How big a hurry are you in to leave the place where you are? I'm having a little difficulty coming up with the $7,500. The hotel that I'm consulting to is supposed to be paying me a large bonus soon but I don't know exactly when to expect it. The only other way is to take the money from my company's treasury but that's dangerous. If they find out it's gone before I could pay it back I'd be in big trouble. How long can you hang on there?

I've been avoiding those three guys I told you about earlier but I'm still very worried. I'm almost sure they're watching me. What if we're being monitored somehow? Do you think they're intercepting our email? Should we maybe lay low for awhile and start this up again later? Have you noticed anyone watching you there? I don't know, John, if these guys are Kenyan security agents I may have to take an extended leave to someplace far away.

Lewd
John Githongo
Dear Lewd,

Please put yourself in my position to know the hell I have to go through in this small obscure village with no money only living at the mercy of my poor friend.

Therefore, I need to move out from here as early as possible.

Please I want you to work on this two options;

1. Take money from the treasury of your company, make the remittance so that I can speedly process the documenation and, come over. That is, you have to schedule your trip to London as as soon as possible to receive my fund from the Finance house in London so that you can replace the amount taken from your company treasury. In this case, they may not find out, and there will be no trouble at all. God forbid. I pray for you daily.

2. Or, remit the amount that you have already so that the process can be started, while you send the balance a little later to complete the documentation. This is advisable because the entire exercise will be one after the other as documents already obtained shall be presened to each government department responsible.

3. I want to assure you for the last time that those guys are not from Kenya. My former boss is afraid of our people knowing what happened between me and him. That is why he will never attempt letting his security to know. He will prefer this silence that I have maintained since then. Therefore, remove your mind from this.It is mere psychological fear or what is called PARANOIDIC BEHAVIOUR PATTERN. Those guys are definitely not for you. So, do not make yourself a prey for them. Ignore them, and you will find out that they can not even hurt a fly.

As for me here, my entry into this small village is never known. There is nothing to suggest to the contrary. I am undisturbed except by the poverty around me. That is all.

Do as I have advised you above, and let me know urgently what you have decided out of the options.

I am waiting.

Your a nice day.

Yours sincerely,
Dr. John Githongo.
Lewd Noogie
John,

I went this morning to the bank to send your friend $2,500 to get things started. I wasn't able to send it because those three guys I told you about (I'm almost positive they're Kenyan!) came into the bank while I was waiting in line and I felt it best to leave. I'll try to get back there again tomorrow morning.

And please don't tell me this is paranoid behaviour. I wouldn't be paranoid if these guys weren't here to get me. It's just too coincidental the way everything is happening. I'm very worried about this and I think I should maybe get out of Gadyukina for awhile.

Lewd
John Githongo
Attn; Lewd

I had wanted to inform you that my host has given me one week to leave if I fail to start processing my naturalization documents because he can no longer carter for my upkeep.

So, I am now in a fix. I do not know any other person so close as this man whom I got to know while I was in the refugee camp.

Please do everthing you can to send the much you have gathered so that I can commence the documentation process immediately before I am thrown out of the village.

Well, I can tell you that those guys are never from Kenya. They could not have known my contact with you from Adam. I can bet that with my life. My path are well covered. If there is any strange thing happening at all, it should start with me here, not you.

Please try to remit the money as you have promised unfailingly, and send the remittance slip so that I can be given the money here to start processing the documents.

Yours sincerely,
Dr. John Githongo.
Lewd Noogie
John, you have really screwed your life up, and you're doing a pretty good job of screwing mine up as well. You have managed to take yourself from an advisor to the president of Kenya to living in some sh*thole village in the middle of nowhere. On top of that, you're about to get your ass kicked out. Nice one, John, nice one.

And I have gone from a calm (relatively) person, happy (relatively) with my life, to a fulking fugitive from the fulking Kenyan Secret Service. Keerist, John, have you got any more really cool surprises for me?

I'm sorry to be so terse with you but I've never been in this kind of situation before. I want to help you but I'm so scared that I can't think straight. And I'm not being paranoid. Did it ever occur to you that maybe you have Kenyan agents watching you and maybe they got to your friend there and convinced him to kick you out? Think about it.

Ok, we need a plan to get you out of there by no later than next week. I'm gonna have a stroke if I don't get out of here until these Kenyans agents give up and leave.The hotel owns a cabin in the Urals and I'm going to hide out there until these guys are gone. I have confided the situation to my admin assistant, Maya Bushburn. She takes care of all my financial arrangements within the company and she's very efficient and very trustworthy. I'm going to have her write to you today to make the arrangements to get money to you.
I will make arrangements to meet Ms. Bushburn every couple of days and keep me informed of what's happening. I'll contact you myself as soon as it's safe for me to return here.

Don't worry, John, Maya will take good care of you.
Lewd
Maya Bushburn

[Enter Maya!]

Dear Mr. Githongo,

As way of introduction, my name is Maya Bushburn and I am the Administrative Assistant to Mr. Lewis Noogie, whom I believe you are aquainted with. Mr. Noogie has found it necessary to leave here on rather short notice and has asked me to take over the job of helping you get relocated.

He neglected to provide sufficient details as to how to transfer money to you. I will require your location, account number, and any other information that you feel might be useful. Please don't hesitate to let me know if I can help in any way.

Yours truly,
Maya Bushburn
John Githongo
Dear Lewd,

I received your last message, and felt that you have imagined the situation of things with me here beyond the explanation I gave you. My host is a poor village farmer who can no longer bear the cost of feeding me etc. It is purely for this reason. He thought I would process my documents and leave within the short period he felt he could help me. That is all. No Kenyan intrusion here please.

The Maya you introduced to me has written me. But I will not write back to her until you read her letter to me and advise you because I do not know her. I only know you, and I do not expose this business to any one I see that is why I am very safe to this moment and will continue to enjoy my safety here.

Read;

Dear Mr. Githongo,

As way of introduction, my name is Maya Bushburn and I am the Administrative Assistant to Mr. Lewis Noogie, whom I believe you are aquainted with. Mr. Noogie has found it necessary to leave here on rather short notice and has asked me to take over the job of helping you get relocated.

He neglected to provide sufficient details as to how to transfer money to you. I will require your location, account number, and any other information that you feel might be useful.
Please don't hesitate to let me know if I can help in any way.
Yours truly,
Maya Bushburn

I need to read from you soonest. You have the account she asked of. Why not give it to her if you feel that the arrange is okay.

Yours sincerely,
Dr. John Githongo.
John Githongo
Attn; Maya Bushburn

I received your message.

Yes Mr. Noogie did introduce you to me, and alerted me that you would contact me soon.

However, could you please explain your relationship with Noogie a little more. Did he tell you all about me?

I will get back to you soon with more information.

Regards,
Dr. John Githongo.
John Githongo
Attn; Maya Bushburn

Find below the account particulars that you have requested.

AGE,PANQIAO TOWN
OUHAI DISTRICT
WENZHOUH
ACCOUNT NUMBER; 111009685368-20
IHSWIFT; SZ DBCNBS
CHINA

You send money through the above account and I will receive it to process the necessary legal documents that will help me to relocate as I have already discussed in details with your boss.

Location;
I am right here in Badagry Border town between Republic of Benin and Nigeria.

Please as I have made known to Mr. Lewis Noogie, I have a short time to spend here legally after which I have to leave for Russia hence the need for you to expedite action on the money remittance.

The total amount he ought to send to me as agreed with him is $7,500.00, but he proposed to send $2,500.00 first for me to start the process while he sends the balance a little later. But if you can send the whole amount once, that will definitely and absolutely quicken the process, and I will confidence be in Russia in no distant time.

I look forward to receive your confirmation of the receipt of this mail and action.

Thanks for your interest to help.

Regards,
Dr. John Githongo.
Maya Bushburn
Hi, Mr. Githongo,

Thank you very much for providing your information. While Lewis (Mr. Noogie) neglected to tell me why he was leaving, he was obviously in a hurry and it probably slipped his mind. I will be seeing Lewis tomorrow to find out which account(s) he wants me to withdraw from to transfer to you. I should have something more firm for you tomorrow.

I'm pleased to hear that you are coming to Russia. Will you be coming here to Gadyukina? I think you'll enjoy it here and it would be so nice to have someone else here to talk to for a change. Are you coming alone?

I look forward to meeting you in person.

Yours,
Maya
John Githongo
Dear Maya

I felt relieved by your message.

Well, I will come to where ever you and Mr. Noogie wants to me relocate.

For now, I am coming alone.

You must be nice person, and I look forward to meeting you in person.

Have a great day.

Regards,
Dr. John Githongo.
Maya Bushburn
Dear John, if I may use your first name,

Thank you very much for your kind words. I also look forward to meeting you. As I told you before, it will be so nice to have someone new around here to spend time with. If there is anything you want to do when you are here, anything at all, please don't hesitate to ask. It will be my pleasure to make your stay with us as enjoyable as possible.

While Lewis has not told me a lot about his business with you, I was able to clear up one mystery - apparently he was running away from three gentlemen staying here at the hotel whom he suspected of being Kenyan security agents. Well, it turns out that they are after him, but they're not from Kenya, they're from Sweden ( the blonde hair and blue eyes should have given it away). They are three brothers and apparently Lewis had a tryste with their sister when he was on a business trip to Stockholm a few months ago. Apparently the young lady is in a family way and they came here to take him back to marry her. He is much more afraid now than when he thought they were of the Kenyan persuasion. I suspect he will remain in hiding until they depart.

Meanwhile, the account that Mr. Noogie wants to deduct the money from to send you is a company account and I advised him against it. He will experience major problems should we be audited before he can return it. I have offered to loan him $7,500 of my own to take care of your financial requirements until such time as he can pay me back. If this is acceptable to you I will begin the transfer next week.

Again, I look forward to your arrival and I will do everything to make you feel at home. We don't get many foreign men here and it is such a pleasure when we do. I have heard that men from Africa are much more in the way of gentlemen as compared to some of the rough Eastern European types that we do get here. I'm sure you will be a refreshing change.

Yours,
Maya
John Githongo
Dear

Your message that I have just read is soothing to my spirit. It has calmed my frayed nerves, and arrested completely my restiveness over this issue that arose between me and Noogie the moment he cited those three strange boys.

Owing to the fact that I know the type of stringent meansures I took as some one who knows it all about security to perfect my ways, I told him that those people could not have been anyone from Kenya. That Kenya or any other African country have not risen up to that level of security surveilence. That is why many top government officials From Africa make money in government and move such money to Europe where it will be safe for investments. I am highly elated that I have been proved 100% correct and right by events that you have just narrated. God bless you.

You have really found a place in my heart, and I will not fail to reward you for this singular favour that you have done even without seeing me already. That goes far to show you how TRUTHFUL I am and will continue to be. I have high reputation and intergrity to protect, and so I will do anything to save my image. So, you can be sure you are now dealing with a complete gentleman in Dr. John Githongo. In fact, I am very very desirous of meeting you. I can not wait any longer.

I have accepted your offer to pay from your account the amount of $7,500.00.. Therefore, go ahead and send the money as soon as possible so that I can commence the processing of my documents. If you send the $7,500.00 at once, it will facilitate the speedy completion of the entire processes that will culminate in my movement to Russia wihin the shortest possible time.

Yes, your conclusion is true. Most African men are gentle people especially when you have any business to do with them. They make sure they keep to the terms of the business as agreed. Moreover, we do no harm to anyone because of business failure etc. because it is against our culture.

I will plead you start the transfer of the fund this week because I have a shorter time to stay here.

Could you please let me have your direct phone number. I can use providers phone to call you and hear your sweet voice. I am waiting.

Best regards,
Dr. John Githongo.
Maya Bushburn
John, what a sweet letter! It's obvious to me that you know how to talk to a woman and I also very much look forward to meeting you in person. Would you consider it too forward of me to ask for a picture?

I will do everything to expedite getting the $7,500 to you but I have to ask you for a little patience. Please remember that we are in a very remote part of Russia and nothing ever happens quickly here.and the bureaucracy is horrible. I will make a start today.

I saw Lewis last night and talked with him for awhile. I have to take a snowmobile out to the hotel cabin in the foothills and in this weather it's not a very enjoyable trip. He still has some concerns that those three brothers are Kenyan and I'm tired of trying to explain things to him. He has never travelled outside of Europe and Russia and he has strong tendencies toward cultural retardation.

Ok, John, I have many things to do tonight before I go to bed. Please don't forget to send a picture if you can.

Very truly yours,
Maya
John Githongo
Dear Maya,

I would have loved to send picture to you but I do not have one here because I never carried my pictures around. I live in a remote village too where this service is rarely available.

Since I will soon be there with you, I think seeing face to face will surfice for any kind of picture. I am an amiable person. Just hold on until you meet me.

Tell Noogie that Kenya does not know him from Adams. There is no way they would have known him from Adams. They have no address, no picture, no name of the country!. How can then can they be from Kenya? His suspicion beats me hollow. Kenyan security must be spirits before they could go to such extent.

The story you have narrated must be true. A man should be able to find out where the rain started beating him. Well, he should be able and man enough to resolve such phobia or conflict. But definitely not from my side.

I believe your ability to help bail me out of this ugly situation now.

Have a good night rest for your efforts and interest so far.

Best regards,
Dr. John Githongo.
Maya Bushburn
Dear John,

I have to keep this short but I'm sorry I didn't get back to you yesterday. We're having a major crisis here at the hotel and with Lewis gone I'm having to deal with it alone. I very much want to help get you here as soon as possible.

I'll try and write again tomorrow.

Always yours,
Maya
John Githongo
My Dear Maya Bushburn,

Its all thanks from me for all your efforts.

I will expect your mail as you have promised.

Yours
John.
Maya Bushburn
Dear John,

I'm afraid that there is someone here causing trouble for you. There is an East German massage therapist named Olga who works here at the hotel and for reasons that I'll never understand Lewis finds her attractive and thinks that she looks like Anna Kournikova. To me she looks more like a blond beachball. Anyhow, Olga went out to visit Lewis and he told her that he needed to get back to the hotel as soon as possible because he had a business deal going with a man who is in Nigeria. Well, Olga spent an hour shooting her big mouth off about how you must be trying to scam Lewis and she told him to stop corresponding with you. I'm afraid that Lewis is near breakdown with all his worries about Kenyan agents, Swedish girlfriends' brothers, and now this.

I've had my heart set on you coming here, John. Like I told you before, it would be so nice to have someone else here to get to know and spend time with. You don't sound like a thief to me but I want you to answer me honestly - are you trying to cheat Lewis?

Please tell me the truth.

Maya
John Githongo
My Dear Maya Bushburn,

In the first place, I am not a nigerian, and will never be a Nigerian because I was never born in Nigeria, neither was I raised in Nigeria.

Moreover, I am here at the border town between Republic of Benin and Nigeria. The refugee camp was situated at the middle because most West African countries especially these two neighbouring countries contribute more for the welfare of the refugees and political asylum seekers like some of us.

Apart from this, with the information I have at my disposal since I arrived here, these people from Nigeria are not as bad as painted by people who stay away and rely heavily on wrong information that are fed with by other ignorant people. If you come here, you will discover Americans, Europeans, and Asians in their large number working and establishing businesses here. No complain. What is happening is not more than the news about few people who act outside the law which is found in every country.

Therefore, I will advise you to DISREGARD that WRONG AND MISLEADING INFORMATION.

Finally, I want to assure you that it NEVER EVER CROSSED MY MIND TO CHEAT ANYONE, NOT TO TALK OF LEWIS. Cheating is the least thing I can ever contemplate in my mind because I had all the education I need to carry myself through life. Then why do I need to cheat? For what? It makes no sense then..

I became financially incapacited because I paid heavy deposit cost which I never knew. So, it took all the money I would have used to relocate myself. Otherwise, I would not have asked Lewis for money.

Go ahead and help me, and you will see me in Russia.

John.

[Scam-o-musing: Lacking complete headers and psychic abilities, we can't be sure, but think that he is Nigerian. On another note - the current U.S. census asks for ethnic origin. Among the examples given is Nigerian. Given the many ethnic groups and history of strife in Nigeria, this seems a remarkable choice. Nigeria - colonial construct, biggest nation in Africa, or both? It seems people are as Nigerian (or, insert favorite country) as they want to be. Relations may not always be smooth, but just let outsiders try to criticize!]

Maya Bushburn
Dear John,

I am so confused. There is a big part of me that wants to believe you but I know my head is clouded by the fact that I have been lonely here, even surrounded by the people who work here at the hotel. Ever since Lewis told me that you were coming here I found myself becoming more excited, even though I don't really know you. Lately I've had difficulty controlling these emotions.

I don't really think you are trying to cheat anyone like Olga says.

I've been holding off asking you something but I want to know before I continue helping you - are you married?

Maya
John Githongo
My Dear Maya

I want to tell you not to be confused to help a humble and honest man like me who can not even hurt a fly.

For now, no woman is hanging on my neck. Therefore, I am prepared to do anything you want to do with me in Russia. In fact, since after Noogie introduced you to me, I had started counting myself lucky. Otherwise, it would have taken me quite some time to settle down in Russia to live my normal life. Of course every woman have been strange to me.

Already I have used your writings and line of thought to evaluate you whole..So, I have already fallen inlove with you in my heart because you seem to fit into what I need in a woman litrarily. I know you will be okay in bed, because I am still strong and kicking.

However, since you said that you will begin the fund remittance to me this week, I will advise you to do it urgently because of the Easter Break. The two countries here are mostly made up of christains, and their governments do do not joke with religions. Therefore, Friday and Monday the upper week is likely to be declared public holidays. So, if you can commence the remittance today, it will be better so that the money gets to me on time for the processing of my documents.

Please, do work on this because time is no longer on my side as my asylum period expires soon.

Have a nice day, and do not forget to send the remittance slip for me to claim the money.

Best regards,
Dr. John Githongo.
John Githongo
NOTE; I AM STILL WAITING FOR YOUR REPLY OF CONFIRMATION THAT YOU HAVE COMMENCED THE PROCESS OF REMITTING THE $7,500.00. THIS INFORMATION IS VERY IMPORTANT AS IT WILL GIVE ME HOPE OF LIVING FOR YOUR RUSSIA SOONER.

I AM VERY DESIROUS OF MEETING YOU.

IF I MAY ASK, ARE YOU MARRIED? I AM SORRY IT ELUDED MY MEMORY TO ASK THIS QUESION INITIALLY BEFORE MAKING SOME COMMENTS YOU MIGHT HAVE FOUND OFFENSIVE. HOWEVER, I AM VERY SORRY IF I DID WRITE ANYTHING THAT AFFECTED YOUR FEELING.

BUT PLEASE I AM FREE. IF THERE IS ANYTHING THAT BOTHERS ME MOST NOW IT IS HOW TO COME OVER TO YOUR RUSSIA IN THE SHORTEST POSSIBLE TIME.

FEEL VERY FREE TO TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT FROM ME WHEN I DO COME OVER. I WILL OBLIGE TO CONSIDER YOUR RQUESTS.

JOHN.
John Githongo
My Dear Ms. Maya Bushburn

In case, I was not well understood in my last message and the reminder I sent yesterday, I want to emphatically put it to you that I AM NOT MARRIED TO ANYONE FOR NOW.

Therefore, brush aside any other confusion, and go ahead to assist me.

I promise to do whatever you need me to do when I finally come over to Russia.

Please, your silence has made me restive. Please you need to rekindle my spirit once more and make it more concrete as you have done since I got in contact with you through writing.

Best regards,
Dr. John Githongo.
Maya Bushburn
Dear John,

I apologize for writing so late. With Lewis gone I've just had so much work to do around this place with no time for myself. Things are a little quieter today.

Lewis is still hiding out from the three Swedes looking for him, even though they left two days ago. He thinks they're in hiding waiting for him to come out of hiding. What an idiot he is sometimes.

I've been to the bank twice in the past few days. They only have one guy who can do these transfers and apparently he got married last week and he's on his honeymoon in Magnitogorsk. I have explained to them how important this is and I have asked them to contact him and tell him to get back here. You have to remember that this is a small branch of the Bank of Russia and things don't happen very quickly. I'll get the $7,500 to you as quickly as I can.

I'm so glad to hear that you're not married, John. I like the way you write and you seem to know how to talk to a woman. I look forward to meeting you face to face very, very much and hope that we'll be able to spend a lot of time together.

I have to get back to work now. Hang on and I'll get you out of there as soon as possible.

Always yours,
Maya
John Githongo
My Dearest Maya Bushburn,

Thank you.

Your message is soothing to my spirit. It has done a lot of psychological nerve calming to my already stressed body owing to my poor condition of living here.

But I have to summon courage to wait a little until you are through with the fund remitance.

I want to express my concern to you about the pressure of work you have to do daily due to the absence of my friend - Noogie.

Yes, my dear I am equally anxiously looking forward to that day you will be in my arms feeling good, and welcomed. I must again and again express how desirous I am to meet you.

Remain blessed, and do confirm the remittance to me as soon as possible.

Can you call me? If so, let me arrange my friend's number where you can call me so that we can hear ourselvers out and sleep well too. If you do not have private number, do not bother until we meet soon.

Finally, since the bank guy on honeymoon do not have indefinite time to spend, I will only advise you to continue to mount pressure on the bank so that the transfer is done and you notify me with the payment slip.

Best regards,
Dr. John Githongo.
Maya Bushburn
John,

In your last email you referred to me as "dearest". It has been far too long since someone called me that. I have been so lonely here in Gadyukina and the thought of someone like yourself coming here is driving me insane with anticipation.

I hope you don't get the wrong idea about me. I am usually a very quiet, reserved person but I want the relationship between us when you get here to be absolutely torrid. I want and need something wild for a change, something crazy and dangerous.

I should tell you that I'm not speaking with Lewis at the moment and I stopped going to visit him. Olga, the East German massage therapist here at the hotel is staying with him and has poisoned his mind against you with all this crap about scams. You probably don't know Lewis very well but he's a very paranoid individual. And his taste in women is horrible. Anyhow, I told him I didn't care and that I was going to bring you here myself. Screw him.

I went back to the bank today to raise hell again about their transfer clerk being gone for so long. I don't understand how a bank can stay in business operating this way. I told them I would be back tomorrow and the next day and the next until that clerk gets back.
So please be patient with me, John. I'm trying very hard to do this as quickly as possible.
I want you here. Now.

Your Maya
John Githongo
My Dearest Maya,

I will be at your service once I land in Russia.

In fact, right now I dream Russia daily just because of the thought of you.

If you are ready, I will engage you in business once my fund of $20.5m is equally moved to Russia soon after my arrival.

I wish you happy Easter in advance, please try to enjoy it as you can. But always remember me.

Have rewarding day.

Best regards,
Dr. John Githongo.
Maya Bushburn
Dear John,

I don't understand something - you mentioned $20.5m. Lewis said he was working some sort of business deal with you but he never mentioned anything about $20.5m. What is this all about? Maya
John Githongo
I will appeal that you bury that chip in your mind.

I stated that just to show you the extent to which appreciate what you are doing for me now.

I never meant it to be a subject of discuss. No. Not at all.

Just take what the Noogie has told you, and do not relate my discussion to you to him.

It is between me and you. I promise that my relationship with you in Russia will be eventful.

Please do not raise this issue of 20.5m again.

Thank you.

Best regards,
Dr. John Githongo.
Maya Bushburn
You know, this happens every time I get interested in a man. I start finding out that he has SECRETS. What other secrets do you have, John? Maybe you're MARRIED?

You brought the subject up, John, so let's drag it out into the sunlight. Out with it - what's up with the $20.5m?
John Githongo
I have just received your reply, and would want you to leave the sleeping dog to lie over this issue of $20.5.

This is because I did not bring it up as a subject for discussion. Rather it was a promise I made to you owing to the interest you exhibited towards me even without seeing me yet. I was touched in my heart, and I had to respond by expressing how much I value the efforts you are making to send the money for me to come over to Russia on Mr. Noogie's directive.

I have laid my mind bare to you, and did not hide anything about my marital status. I AM NOT MARRIED AT ALL. Nothing is hidden here. Therefore, you should not entertain any fear here. I owe you honestty and truthfulness in my dealings with you.

Please my dear, I hope this promise is not responsible for your delay in sending the money to me? For the past two days I was indisposed that was why I could not reply your mail earlier than now. So, I am sorry.

Please try to send the money before I die in this small village. I want to kow how far you have gone sending the more.

Best regards,
Dr. John Githongo
Maya Bushburn
John,

I'm sorry that I haven't written you in so long but I'm going through a difficult period, I'm very confused., and it's mostly due to MEN. On one hand I've got you over there with all your SECRETS that you don't want to let me in on and here I've got Lewis who believes everything that Olga, the East German massage therapist tells him and he's now convinced you're trying to scam him and me. He says that if I send you money I'll never hear from you again or that you will just want me to keep sending more.

I thought you and I were developing something special, even though we've never met. I was finally able to make arrangements with the bank to transfer the $7,500 but I've decided to hold off until I can think this thing through. I don't want to get myself into something I'm going to regret.
I'm sorry, John, but I'm trying to be completely honest with you. I wish you could be the same with me.

Maya
John Githongo
My Dearest

Thank you for your reply though long expected.

I do accept your apology.

But I want to roundly dispel the wrong rumour being peddled by Mr. Noogie and his friend I do not know and do not wish to know.

What they have told you is absolutely false and have no iota of truth. I can not run away. Where will I run to? They are enemies of progress. Such people are not good to associate with. Please do distance yourself from them.

In order to prove them wrong, here is the address where I am staying in this small village; 5 Oba Akran Ave., Topo Badagry, Republic of Benin/Nigeria.

This place is closer to Republic of Benin than Nigeria. It is 20 kilometers to Benin, while it is 60 kilos to Lagos Nigeria.

Please do not let Noogie know of my address. It is for you alone..

Again, please ask the bank to transfer the money to me. At each stage I will send to you copies of the necessary documents to show you that Noogie and his friend are bunch of liers.

Then I will definitely fly down to Russia to fall into your bossom arms.

I enclose herewith my passport picture I surprisingly picked up from my bag for the avoidance of doubt.

Please work with me, and you will discovered at the end that you have made a wise decision. Let me help me by quoting from William Shakespear; "OUR DOUBTS ARE TRAITORS, AND MAKE US LOOSE THE GOOD WE MIGHT OFTEN WIN BY FEARING TO ATTEMPT THEM"

Yours sincerely,
Dr. John Githongo.
John Githongo
This is my passport I just picked from my bag.

Please do not show this to anyone.

I sent you this to clear your confusion.

I now await your remittance advice.

Copies of all the documents will be sent to you. Noogie will bury his face in shame when I meet you in Russia.

John Githongo.
Maya Bushburn
John,

Receiving your picture actually has cleared my confusion, or most of it, at least. You are quite a handsome man. But I wouldn't be so sure about Lewis burying his head in shame when you get here. He has done things that would shame the devil himself but he is chemically free of remorse.

What I need, John, is some kind of a commitment from you. What kind of guarantee do I have that you'll stay once you get here? Will you ask me to marry you? I feel that you know enough about me to make that decision.

I hope to hear your answer soon.

Love,
Maya
John Githongo
Subject: ASKING FOR YOUR HAND IN MARRIAGE

My Dearest Maya Bushburn

My answer is yes. I will definitely marry you. You are a wonderful woman. I have said that before. I have admired all your comments and sense of reasoning. They match into what I need from you. Therefore, I have no iota of doubt in mind that I will ask for your hand in married. My word is my bond.

Love
John.
Maya Bushburn
Dearest John,

My heart is fluttering from your email! I nearly swooned when I read it!

I'm happy John, happier than I've been in a long time. And it is times like this that I must be careful with my heart, to be sure of what I'm doing. I believe you when you say you want me to marry you but marriage is very, very important to me. I want it to be forever and I want a gaurantee that you will stay with me and not desert me later. I want you to sign a prenuptual agreement that says you will continue to support me even if we separate or divorce. Will you do that, John? Do you care enough about me to promise to take care of me, even if you decide to leave me?

I want you here, John, and I want you here NOW. Once you agree to the prenuptual agreement, I will send the $7,500 to you and you will come to me quickly.

Hoping with all my heart,
Maya
John Githongo
Subject: PERPETUAL AGREEMENT SIGNED - RATIFIED BY MY CULTURE

My Dearest Maya Bushburn

I must appreciate you, and above all express my profound happinness over your acceptance of my hand in marriage. Earlier, I had thought once that you might be pulling my legs, but now I know you are serious.. Therefore, who am I not to accept any condition you give me to actualize ones life dream.

I hereby sign perpetual agreement not to leave or abandon you. Once married we are married until death do us pat period. That is my philosophy as far as marriage is concerned.

Again I must confess to you that I come from a culture that respects and adores marriage. My culture does not encourage divorce anyhow. We also believe in one man, one wife until death do them pat.

In conclusion, once I touch down in Russia, I am yours for ever.

Have a happy moment.

Love
John.
Maya Bushburn
Dearest John,

I know that you will make me the happiest woman in Russia, I am absolutely giddy with excitement! Waiting for your arrival will be the most difficult days of my life!

I went to the bank today and the man in charge of transfers has returned from his honeymoon. He has the account information for your friend and is ready to make the transfer on my signal.

I have to stop at this point, let my heart slow down, and take care of the practicalities. I know it seems a bit cold to require you to sign our prenuptual agreement but I have to ensure my future. Your signing this agreement tells me that you do see this as a long-term commitment and not just coming for a short time. Please sign, date, scan and return the attached pre-nuptual agreement to me. Once I have received it, I'll get the $7,500 to you the next day and we can concentrate on getting you here as quickly as possible.
Please hurry to me, John.

All my love,
Maya
John Githongo
Subject: SEARCHING FOR PRINTING MACHINE

My Dearest Maya

I received text of your perpetual agreement.

I am looking for a place to print and endorse. It is not easy because of the poverty around.
As soon as I do this, I will scan and send to you signed copy.

Love
John
Maya Bushburn
Dearest John,

Please hurry! I want you here now!

Waiting for you.
Your Maya
John Githongo
Subject: AGREEMENT SIGNED AND ATTACHED

My Dearest Maya,

Find attached the signed the Perpetual marriage agreemet.

For me to sign it without any alteration is indicate of my total acceptance of your person. At this time, you mean more to me, and I am very desirous of being with you.

As soon as I receive the money, I will speed up my travelling papers, fly down to Russia as soon as possible to meet your waiting arms.

I am waiting.

Love
John

Maya Bushburn
John, my love, how my heart soared when I received your email with the signed prenuptual agreement! It signifies to me that you see our marriage as eternal as I do, something that will last forever. It's strange, but I already consider myself as your wife, to me we are already married. Do you feel the same way John? I so hope that you do.

I went to the bank this morning but today was a bank holiday and it was closed. I will make time to go back tomorrow to complete the wire transfer.

I'm waiting for you, John. When you receive the money try to get things done quickly so that you will be here as soon as possible.

Your wife Maya
John Githongo
Subject: FILLED WITH LOVE FOR YOU

Dear Maya Bushburn

Thank you very much.

I as soon as I appended my signature, I starting regarding you as my wife.

As for fastening things once I lay my hands on the money, your wish is my command.

My spirit is there with you already. I am yours, and you are mine.

Have a wonderful day.

Your beloved husband
John.
Maya Bushburn

[Maya lowers the boom]

John, my love,

When I read your words about how you already regard me as your wife, my love for you knew no bounds for, well..........seconds! My goal in life at this moment is to make you as happy as I am so you'll be pleased to know that I have good news.

The agent at the bank is ready to make the transfer; the money can be in your friend's account tomorrow. Isn't that wonderful news?

I am, however, sad to say that I also have bad news.

I'm not going to send you the money because we're getting a divorce. I don't love you anymore. Don't get me wrong - I'm sure you're a cute little mugu and I bet we'd have beautiful children but I'm afraid that it is not to be. We both know that it's not me you love but my $7,500.

But there's more good news.

I'm letting you out of the prenuptual agreement, most of it anyway . You don't have to worry yourself about taking care of me anymore.

Ah, but there's more bad news. Really bad news.

Because we're divorcing, and because you were trying to scam us, I have decided to invoke item 6 of our prenuptual agreement. Please arrange removal of the, uh, items, and have them sent to me immediately. Inform the shipping company that they are family heirlooms or Africa cloths or some such thing so that they won't know the true contents. Maybe it would be best if you send them by one of those diplomatic couriers you guys love to use to avoid any hang-ups with customs. You will be happy to know that I bought the cutest little crystal container to display them on the hotel fireplace mantle.
Ok, John, you have work to do, so fulk off and get that package in the mail.

Remain blessed,
Your Maya

ps - Do you realize that we first heard from you on May 29, 2008?? We've been dicking with you for almost a year!! You may not be the brightest light in the harbor but we sure do admire your tenacity.
Maya Bushburn
John, my love,

I'm still waiting for my (or rather, your) package, John. I hope you're not considering reneging on our agreement.

So let's get 'em off and get 'em in the mail, there's a good lad. Your Maya
Maya Bushburn
John, dearest,

I hate to be cross with you but I'm still waiting for that package. C'mon, John, you signed the agreement, don't make me have to come looking for you.

Luv,
Maya

[Nothing further from John; looks like he's backing out of the deal. Just goes to show you can't trust a scammer to keep his word.]

John Githongo

[ but then - ]

Subject: TRASH
Maya Bushburn
Trash?? Trash?? Are you telling me that you threw them in the trash instead of sending them to me?? How spiteful you are, John. You know how badly I wanted those as a momento of the love we once had.

Please go and dig them out, clean 'em up and send them to me. I will be happy to reimburse you the postage, or the diplomatic courier service charges, whichever you choose.

Just this one last favor, John.

Please.

Forever yours,
Maya

[Thus endeth the lesson. Kenya dig it?]

 

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