PLEASE, NOT THE HERBALIST! or, You Will Know That Africa is Not Russia


The one and only Lewis D. "Lewd" Noogie most recently masterminded Playing it Cool. He has mastered many minds, perhaps most famously in Don't False Me to Do Stupid Thing to You, in which he fended off death threats from scammers posing as FBI agents.

Scammers
Samini Abacha - Half-brother of Muhammed Abacha
Aye Alani - General Commander of Police and Fraudulent Investigator
Cole Mensah - The lawyer

vs.

Lewis D. "Lewd" Noogie- International Hotel Consultant
Maya Bushburn - Lewd's Scheming Administrative Assistant

Maya partners with the scammer, but will she keep her promises to him?


Samini Abacha

 

 

 

A retro scam-o-gram. The "bogus relative of General Abacha" format doesn't pop up as much as it used to.This Lad isn't really his son. But you knew that.

Samini Abacha <saminiabacha@rediffmail.com>
X-Originating-IP: [202.137.234.116]
To: <ss@kaprov.com>
Date: 12 Feb 2011

DEAR SIR OR MADAM

PRIVATE AND CONFIDENTIAL

It is with heart full of hope that I write to seek your help in the context below. I am SAMINI ABACHA the son of the former Nigerian Head of state late GENERAL SANI ABACHA whose Sudden death occurred on 8th of June 1998.

Having gotten your particulars from the family's library, I have no doubt about your capacity and good will to assist me in receiving into your custody (For Safety) gold of 150 kilo and the sum of US$20Million willed and deposited in my favor by my late father as the next of kins. This money is currently kept in a Trust Deposit Account in West African Ghana in a security company.

Mohammad Abacha, is my elder brother he is the son of the first wife of my father,which he and his mother have all most claim all my late father property which the family did not have or see any left for us,my mother told me that my father kept all this for me in the security company which she, her self can not claim it for me just because i m the next of kins and my name is on the document ,please you are my hope you are the daddy i have for now, i want you to help me , i know i am too young to collect it and when they get to know that,i may not be able to claim it for my self again,

daddy please stand for me to get this out from this security company,i came to GHANA just for you,when i had you are capable to help me on this fund and Gold, i believe that you are the only one that can collect this fund for me and the gold, and daddy then you will invest with it for me, i have mother and two sister which they are not living in good condition,just we did not see anything from my late father property all that we have is the house we are living in,my late father build it for my mother when they get married,and she is the 5th wife of my late father, that is why will are having problem,my mother is from the eastern part of Nigeria, some of my late father wives are from Saudi Arabia, Kano party of Nigeria etc, they are about five wife and my mother was the last.

I did not come to Ghana with air, i take the road just because i don't want the press to know my presences here, so that make me not to come with my international passport not for any one to know who i am or my identity ,i m still in Ghana daddy i need your help,if any way you can help me, please i wait to hear from you,THANKS

REGARD AND GOD BLESS
SAMINI

Lewd Noogie

Let's ignore the flaws in the above story and enjoy it for what it is, another failed attempt to scam Lewd Noogie. Take it away, Lewd!

I am pleased to hear from you and if you would like to be any kind of friend of mine the first thing you can do is tell me where that son of a bitch brother of yours is. I'm referring to that thieving dickhead Mohammed. I gave that bastard over $17,000 to help him move some money out of Nigeria and then he disappeared.

Please send me his email address as soon as possible.

Lewd Noogie
Samini Abacha

Sir,

Thank you for the mail, Please my good friend first of all, i do not know any thing about this man you said he collect money from you and how come that happened? i am a generous man and a fearing man of God, i need you assistance in this transaction, what am seeking is your help to completed this transaction so that i can move on with my life and we both can rejoice for our fortune... i can help you if i have the full information of the man that stole your money...

I await your reply as soon as possible.

Samini Abacha.
Lewd Noogie

What do you mean, you can help me if I have the full information of the man that stole my money?? He's your BROTHER MOHAMMED!! You know, Mohammed?? You probably saw him around the house a few times when you were growing up?? That other kid who called your mother Mom??

What I want to know is, where is your brother Mohammed? I want you to send me his email address. Please do it quickly.

Lewd Noogie

That's the last we hear from Samini. Enter Aye Alani...

Aye Alani

... who tries another tack...

Aye Alani <policeinvestigatoreport@yahoo.com>
X-Originating-IP: [98.139.91.232]
Date: Sat, 12 Feb 2011

POLICE INVESTIGATION DEPARTMENTAL (WEST AFRICA HEADQUARTER)
********************************************************************************

Dear Lewis Noogie,

From the aspect and investigation going on around the world, We kindly emailed to you on our outgoing files of Criminal activities that had being around your possession and we had contact the PRESIDENT OF Ghana (Dr, John Atta-mills) for all the criminal files of Internet Fraud used by this fraudsters and we have contact the Police force in Nigeria to backup the counterfeit outgoing we checked our file records we found that this person using a fake email address in contact with you from Republic Of Nigeria.

I want to inform you that this Criminal had being traced out by is private Ip address : 234.45.565.76 and was caught January 9- 2011 and he was charged by the court of Law for using fake document to take away money from you, and he must be jailed for 2 years and we shall replace all money taken from you, According to our Investigation he mentioned that he collect some continuously amount from you but he did not tell us how much he had taking from you....so in regards to the law enforcement you have to let us know how much he took from you and what bring the reason that you paid to him every time.

We had being informed by the Law Enforcement that you must comply with all instructions giving to you and you will be updated when the Criminal get to the High court of justice and you have to get back to us with the information he used in collecting fraud money from you according to our file record, we confirmed that you have spent almost $17,000.00 Usd for this scam by the criminal and we need you to let us know if you want your money back and we jail him according to the law enrollment.

Note: You must stop dealing with Mr Mohammed any body because many people use to scam and collect innocent peoples money.

You have to get a proof document from the federal government of Ghana (Mr, Eric Wood) your case is being going on and you have to do something so that all the money collected from you by this Criminal will be sent to you back this week.

I await Your full response today,

Thank and God be with you,

Mr, Aye Alani
General Commander Of Police and Fraudulent Investigator.

Lewd Noogie

Lewd pretends he doesn't grasp that "Samini" and "Alani" are working together.

Mr. Alani,

The timing of your email was perfect. If I understand you correctly, you have captured the slimy Mohammed Abacha, correct? Well, I heard from his brother Samini Abacha just yesterday. He says he left Nigeria and oozed into Ghana, wherever that is, and he's got more money and gold there that he wants me to take care of for him. I don't know where those guys got the idea that I'm the Abacha family bitch but I'm pretty sure they're trying to hose me again.

Please keep me up to date on Mohammed's prosecution. I would also like to attend his execution if I may be allowed to do so and, if not, perhaps you could arrange for it to be internationally televised. There is no punishment too extreme for that man.

Please let me know if I can be of any assistance in his prosecution.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie

Aye Alani
Thank for contacting us, Mr Mohammad is now in the police station in a cell, you will need to get a lawyer here to pile up the case to the High Court and we can know how to help you from here, all the money taken from you will be sent back to you From the High Court Of Justice Ghana. I await Your full response today, Thank and God be with you, Mr, Aye Alani
General Commander Of Police and Fraudulent Investigator.

[Of course there will be costs associated with returning Lewd's imaginary money.]

Lewd Noogie

Mr. Alani,

All I can say is, Nice Work! I'll try to go online tonight to see if I can find a good lawyer there in Ghana who can help me get this guy the maximum sentence.You, sir, have given me new hope.

I would like to clarify - what is the maximum sentence that Mohammed can get? And what are we going to do about his skeevy brother Samini? He's trying the same crap on me and I would like to see his ass in jail as well.

I'll let you know when I have a lawyer lined up.

Thank you very much.
Lewis D. Noogie

Aye Alani

Sir,

We can give you a very responsible and hardworking lawyer here in Accra, Please advise.
Lewd Noogie

Mr. Alani,

If you already know of a good, aggressive lawyer there in Ghana, please send me his contact information.

You did not respond about this guy Samini - what can be done about him?

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie

Aye Alani

Hello Lewis Noogie,

We received your email and understand the content of your support to get this criminal Mohammed, we traced is Ip address when we view the records of scam& fraudulent data base, The High Court of Justice Ghana can issue a check to you or transfer the funds into your designated bank account, please here is the Lawyer contact email that will assist you with the High Court to stand for you in agreement with the High Court Ghana to release fund with truth.

Please contact the Lawyer immediately.

Names: Barrister Cole Mensah Esq
Email: barrr.colemensahesqqq@live.com
Phone Number: +233-54-049-5077

Please we need resoponse from you when you contact the Lawyer incharge of your case in the High Court of Justice.

Mr, Aye Alani
General Commander Of Police and Fraudulent Investigator.

Lewd Noogie

Lewd dutifully contacts the bagman.

Mr. Mensah,

In way of introduction, I am Lewis D. Noogie, an International Hotel Consultant, currently working here in the Russian Federation. You were recommended to me by a Mr. Aye Alani, General Commander of Police and Fraudulent Investigator, to prosecute Mr. Mohammed Abacha in the high court of your country.

Before I decide if you are the attorney that I want, I would like to ask a couple of questions:

1. Is there any chance of me recovering the $17,000 that I gave to Mr. Abacha to help him move a sum of money out of Nigeria?

2. What is the maximum sentence I can count on Mr. Abacha receiving? In my opinion there is nothing too extreme for this man, up to and including a slow, painful execution.

3. Is there anything that can be done to prosecute his younger brother Samini? He recently contacted me to try and get more money out of me and he is currently in Ghanna.
I look forward to your response on these issues.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie

Cole Mensah

Cole Mensah <barrr.colemensahesqqq@live.com>
X-Originating-IP: [65.54.51.88]
Date: Thu, 17 Feb 2011
Subject: My regards to you, My name is Barrister Cole Mensah Esq

Attention: Lewis D. Noogie,

My regards to you, My name is Barrister Cole Mensah, am 40 years old married with two kids, Yes the Ghanaian police force investigation visited my office yesterday with the report of a criminal internet access from Mohammed Samini 35 years old man stealing from you by internet scam, Hes case had been submitted to the high Court Of Justice Ghana to be sentence to 4 years imprisonment with hard labor.

This criminal works with is brother also Abacha Samini, we are still working on to capture him, he run away when he heard hes brother Mohammed is caught, Mohammed informed the High Court that he used your money to buy car of $15,000 (Toyota Corolla Car) and he spent the rest of money, the car is parked in the police station, I will assist you but we have to sell the car and send you the money if you agree, but you are a foreign man and very far from here, you must obtain a Foreign refund of ownership Certificate in your name to be presented to the High Court Of Ministries Ghana , to be notified as the victim of refund Ownership, Please let me when you want to obtain the Certificate so that I can meet up with the Court registrar for how much the Certificate will cost you, as soon as we have the Foreign refund of ownership Certificate in your name it will be presented to the High Court Of Justice Ghana and We can know what to do from here on selling the car and send you your money back all that we can get to you.

Please revert back to me for any clarification.

Here is my phone: +233-54-049-5077 you can give me a call at any time.

Yours in service,
Barrister Cole Mensah Esq.

Lewd Noogie

Mr. Mensah,

You're telling me that jerkoff Mohammed bought a CAR with my money? Damn his scruffy hide. That pisses me off, bigtime. Please don't get me wrong, I'm not upset with you, I just want to kill Mohammed. And you mean to say he's only gonna get 4 years for this??

I'm gonna go have a drink to calm down. Yes, please find out how much this ownership paper costs and let me know. Also please try to think up some more charges that we can bring against Mohammed. 4 years is not enough!

Thank you.
Lewis

Cole Mensah

Attention: Lewis D. Noogie,

Good day sir, How are you i hope all is fine with you over there? I am just coming from the High Court Of Justice Ghana to visit the Registrar on how much it will cost you $650 to obtain the Certificate need to be presented to the High Court Ministries Of Justice, you will have to send the Certificate charges to the Court Registrar receiving information below, once the registrar received the charges, i will go to him to obtain the Certificate and i will send the original copy to you too also i take certificate to the High Court for submission on your behalf.

Registrar Name: Mr, Sodiq Fatai
Country: Accra, Ghana 00233
Text Question: What is my name
Text Answer: Mr, Sodiq Fatai
Amount: $650

Please i will be glad you get back with your full name and address including the payment information with the transfer slip attached to me to verify it to the High Court Of Justice make the payment to the information immediately, so that i can be contact as soon as the Registrar received the certificate charge.

Yours in service,
Barrister Cole Mensah Esq.

Lewd Noogie

Mr. Mensah,

I don't have a problem paying the $650 for this certificate. My Admin Assistant, Ms. Bushburn, handles all of my financial matters and she is due back from her vacation in Magnitogorsk on Saturday. How do you prefer she send the money to you? If you send an account number she can wire it to you.

I will ask you again - is there not some way we can have Mohammed's sentence extended? This is actually more important to me than getting my money back.

Lewis
Cole Mensah

Justice Wood is the Chief Justice of Ghana. Everything else "Mensah" says is a lie. But you knew that.

Attention: Lewis D. Noogie,

I appreciate your response and effort on this matter of the crimina Mohammed Samini, Sir, I want you to know that it is not polite for me speak against or tribulte on the registrar command from the High Court Of Justice Ghana, All you need to do is let me know if you can send your secretary to wire the Certificate charges to the court registrar information i sent to you in my previous email. Note: There is no much time to waste, make sure we obtain the certificate needed in your name to present it to the High Court then i can inform the court registrar to consult the Chief of Justice in charge of this case (Mrs. Justice Georgina Theodora Wood) to increase the prosicution of Mr, Mohammed Samini and to be charged guilty as command, make sure you let me know if you can make the payment for the certificate today or latest by tommrow morning so that i can visit the High Court to obtain the certificate as soon as the court refistrar receive the payment.

I await your response
Yours in service,
Barrister Cole Mensah Esq.

Lewd Noogie

Mr.Mensah,

My Administrative Assistant will not be returning from her vacation until Saturday at which time she can wire the money. Please send me the account information that you want it wired to.

I am somewhat concerned that you may not be aware of who we're dealing with here. You keep referring to a 'Mohammed Samini'. The criminal we are concerned with is Mohammed ABACHA, and his brother's name is Samini ABACHA. They are two different people. Please confirm that you are aware of this.

Lewis
Cole Mensah

Attention: Lewis D. Noogie,

Thank you for your message, Sir, Yes we confirmed that Mohammed Abacha is now in prison at the police headquarters, his junior brother is called Samini Abacha, that is what we have on our file record here, Please we are still on thier prosicution, all wee need now is to sell the car he bought with your money and get it send back to you from the High Court Of Justice

I want to inform you that when i visited the court registrar, he wrote to me in is office to give you his information for you to wire the charges by western union international money transfer, be addressed that on Saturday you tell your Administrative Assistant to make the payment of your Refund Certificate to the information of the court registrar and i can go to obtain the Certificate as soon as they confirmed the transfer, and attach to you the original copy of certificate in your name to be presented to the High Court Of Justice Ghana for refund of ownership.

I will be waiting to hear from you.

Yours in service,
Barrister Cole Mensah Esq

Lewd Noogie

Mr. Mensah,

The nearest Western Union office is in Irkutsk, about an 8-hour drive from here. I'll have to give Ms. Bushburn the cash and send her there tomorrow when she returns from her vacation. She's not gonna be too happy about this.

Thanks for confirming that we have the right person in custody. And thanks for helping me keep that bastard Mohammed behind bars where he belongs.

By the way, my friends call me Lewd (short for Lewis D.).

Lewd
Aye Alani

 

 

Don't ever send a (real) ID to a scammer.

Hello Lewis,

we want you to send to us a form of identification, your international passport or your drivers license this will be needed to back up your records with us in our headquarter office.

Thank and God be with you,

Mr, Aye Alani
General Commander Of Police and Fraudulent Investigator.

Lewd Noogie

Mr. Alani,

My Admin Assistant, Ms. Bushburn, just arrived back from her vacation and will be leaving for Irkutsk in a few hours. As soon as she returns I'll have her scan my passport and send it to you.

Lewis
Cole Mensah

Attention: Lewis D. Noogie,

Thank you for your previous message, Dear Mr, Lewis Noogie i am still waiting for you to send the charges to the court registrar information, so that i can visit the court to obtain the Certificate needed in your name to be presented to the High Court Of Justice Ghana.

please send the transfer details to me as soon as you send the charges to verify and meet the court registrar.

Thank you for working with us.

Yours in service,
Barrister Cole Mensah Esq

Maya Bushburn

Lewd's assistant lowers the boom; then makes a sneaky proposition of her own.

Hi Mr. Mensah or whatever your real name is,

My name is Maya Bushburn, and I am Lewis Noogie's Administrative Assistant. I'm just back from vacation and Lewis asked me to send you $650 from the Irkutsk Western Union. Lewis is so naive when it comes to money so I take care of all of his financial matters and I try not to let him get into too much trouble. That said, we have a problem here.

Assuming that what Lewis tells me is correct, I see that you are trying to pull a simple 419 scam on him. I'm quite familiar with these scams as I have two close friends who have been fleeced by them, one of them being Lewis when this guy who claims to be Mohammed Abacha took him for more than $17,000. Now that I know what is going on here, your scam attempt is over.

Or maybe not. This could be a good opportunity for both of us.

You see, Mr. Mensah, Lewis doesn't pay me very much for the work that I do for him and I am always having to look for ways to augment my income. With this in mind, I'm willing to let you continue your scam with Lewis but only if I make some money out of it.

My suggestion is this - I'm sure that once you receive this $650 you'll think up other reasons for him to send more money. There is no Western Union here in Gadyukina so Lewis will have to give me the cash and send me to the Western Union office in Irkutsk. So here's the deal - I'll send you 30% of what he gives me to send to you and I'll keep 70%. Every time you ask him to send you additional money. I will tell Lewis it's ok and the same percentages will apply.

So that's it. If you agree, you'll get some money. If you don't agree, I tell Lewis you're scamming him and you get nothing.

Hope to hear from you soon Mr. Mensah.

Maya
Cole Mensah

"Mensah" is shocked, shocked!

Attention: Bushburn,

We received your message today, What such rude email and insult is this, where is this coming from? are you working with Mr, Mohammed Abacha?? why do you want me to take bribe when your boss helped us to locate this criminal that took money from him, if you are one of the people scaming with Nigerians you better stop it, or else we shall trace you and report to the Court Ministries.

You have to confirm to us what really made you send a negative letter to me, i must find out what you are trying to do with Mr Lewis, but he trusted you why do you want to take is money, he painment for all most 11 years now, i think i have to report this issue to the High Court Of Justice Ghana.d you for your own work why dont you thank God and do the right thing, i are a legitimate lawyer and i have been working for the gover

Barrister Cole Mensah Esq.
Cole Mensah

"Mensah" warns Noogie.

(to Lewd)

Look at what your so called trusted Administrative Assistant emailed to me instead of making the payment you instructed her to make today, i think she want you to loose your money and she want to ruin your life. please be very carefull about your Administrative Assistant. see below the email i just got from her today, after ll the delay you caused me, i should have visited the High Court today to meet the court registrar to obtain the certificate needed to proceed.

Cole Mensah

"Mensah" warns Noogie again.

Attention: Lewis D. Noogie,

Good Morning Sir,

I want to inform you that you have to be very careful with you admin assistance, she is trying to scam you and black mail on to you to steal money from you, she think that i will join hands to hurt you but God is my Shepard i shall not want, i have been a lawyer for the past 11 years now and i have never cheated, i have sworn and committed an oath with the High Court so what can it be to make your admin assistance telling me to cheat on you, please look into this matter and get back to me, you have to find a way to send the charges today so that i can be able to visit the court registrar for the Certificate of Ownership needed to avoid further delay and i don't think there will be any further fee from the court, all we need id to obtain the certificate and submit to the High Court first thing early Monday morning.

Dear Lewis, please i want you to think about this and never let your unfaithful admin assistant to wreck your life, because what she planned for you is very fair and may lead you to destruction.

I will be waiting to read from you today, Please i need you to give me your phone number to call you for more information.

Yours in service,
Barrister Cole Mensah Esq.

Maya Bushburn

Hi again Mr. Mensah,

You can stop trying to convince me that you're a lawyer. I've done a lot of reading about these scams and I know that you're sitting in some internet cafe writing these emails to Lewis and lots of other people. Give it up Mensah.

As his Administrative Assistant I have access to Lewis' email and I deleted the two emails that you sent him. No sense getting him excited yet. He gave me the $650 to send to you and I'm going to give you one more chance. If you have any brains at all we can both make some money from this.

You have a choice - you play along with me and I send you 30% of this $650 and then you write and tell him you need more for some other reason.

or

I tell Lewis that you're a sleezy 419 scammer and you'll get nothing.

Your choice, but you better decide quickly. He wants me to leave for Irkutsk today.

Maya
Maya Bushburn

Hi again Mr. Mensah,

I don't mean to be annoying but I don't want us to miss this opportunity.

Think about it, would you rather have 30% of this $650, about $180, and more later, or nothing? I'm the one with the power here, which is usually the case when it's Woman vs. man. Lewis knows absolutely nothing about computers and I can intercept any or all of your emails to him. I can shut you down, sweetheart.

Look, work with me here, we might even become friends over this. I can give you the names and email addresses of Lewis' partners, they're both idiots like him, and maybe we can pull the same thing on them. Lets do this.

By the way, do you want to tell me your real name or do I keep calling you Mensah?

Maya
Cole Mensah

"Mensah" overcomes his scruples!

Subject: Let us be partners
Attention: Bushburn,

Thank you for the email, please do not be too greedy, if you want me to work with you, i will but i am a lwayer here , that is my job belive me, let make it like this you take 50% and i take 50% from the $650 with you because i have coleagues i work for here, let me know yur agreement now so that we can move on and we can have more transaction to do.

Thank you, Glory be to God, we are both working together now right?
Barrister Cole Mensah Esq.

Maya Bushburn

Lawyer. Yeah, right. Sure. If you say so.

Yes, we are working together now but I'm sorry, Mensah, I won't be able to give you 50% of the $650. You see, as the woman in this partnership I'm the only one who can make this work, so I deserve more. What you have to do is come up with the ideas for asking Lewis for more money and bigger amounts. If you do a good job then maybe you'll get a larger percentage in the future.

We have a little bit of a timing problem. I left for Irkutsk about an hour ago but a storm has set in and the roads are getting dangerous. I have to stop in Tula for tonight and will try to proceed to Irkutsk tomorrow depending on how bad this storm gets. Lewis doesn't know I'm stopping for the night so we can go ahead and start working on his next payment. Do this - Send him an email saying you received the $650 but that there's some other problem that has to be fixed that's going to cost more money. Let's try for around $2000 this time. He's going to scream and yell but if I tell him it's legitimate he'll pay it. When I get to Irkutsk, I'll send you the $180 I promised, then I'll go back to Gadyukina, pick up the $2000 from him and make another trip to Irkutsk to send you $600. By that time you should have come up with another reason for him to send you more money.

I'll be watching Lewis' mailbox so don't try anything crazy like telling him what's going on. Remember, do something stupid like that and you get nothing.

I hope you do as I tell you because I kind of enjoy corresponding with you.

Maya
Cole Mensah

... tries to salvage something from this scam gone so awry...

ok please i will not let him know, but if you can send me $200 today then that will be ok by me, send it now to the information i sent to you, go ahead and wire it now and get back to me with the mtcn number and your address and full name you use to send it, i have giving to you my information where to send it, i will send you my pictures soon.

Thank you Maya,
Barrister Cole Mensah.

Maya Bushburn

Mensah,

I can't send you anything today. This storm has stranded me in Tula and the roads are under 3 feet of snow.

Do like I said in my last email. Send an email to Lewis today, tell him you received the $650, but you need him to send you another $2000 for a tax or something. If I can get to Irkutsk tomorrow I'll send you $200, then I'll go back to Gadyukina, get the $2000, and send you $600 next weekend.

Ok, you got that? Send him the email today. Do as I say and in 2 more weeks you'll have over $1500.

Maya
Cole Mensah

Ok Maya, please go ahead and send it today on this information, i will contact Lewis now that we have received the $650, but please know that before ask another bill from Lewis, i am not for 30% this time around? ok, this is business, i can let us get $50,000 from Lewis if he have it, so please don't be too greedy, lets us co-operate well and get our own money ok.

Registrar Name: Mr, Sodiq Fatai
Country: Accra, Ghana 00233
Text Question: What is my name
Text Answer: Mr, Sodiq Fatai

Please i will be glad you get back with your full name and address including the payment information with the transfer slip attached to me to verify it and cash it at western union then we work for the next round.

Yours in service,
Barrister Cole Mensah Esq.

Cole Mensah

Attention: Lewis, Please i want you to know that the court registrar have received the payment and i will be going to obtain your document from him, but please i want you to know that i received a letter from the I.R.S office that you will need to pay the tax fee of $2000 for them to stand for the release of your money, please you have to make this payment as soon as possible.

Yours in service,
Barr Cole Mensah Esq

Lewd Noogie

$2000??? For a tax??? Mr. Mensah, don't get me wrong, I appreciate what you're doing for me but we're getting boned here. Isn't this tax negotiable? I mean, can't we get this money from Mohammed's account or something?

Ms. Bushburn isn't here, I sent her to Irkutsk with the $650 to send you for the certificate. She may not be back for a couple of days as we're having one of the worst winter storms I've ever seen here. I don't know which hotel she's in so I can't call her but I'll send her an email to see what she thinks about this $2000.

This really pisses me off. I want to kill that a-hole Mohammed Abacha for causing me so much trouble and costing me so much money. Is there some way you can bribe a guard at the jail to arrange an accident or something like that? I'd be more than happy to pay extra for it.

Hang on until I can get ahold of Ms. Bushburn.

Lewd
Maya Bushburn

Mensah,

Nice work! You may have a future in this kind of thing after all!

Lewis forwarded your email to me and asked if he should pay the $2000. I'll write back to him today and tell him it's cool and I'll bcc you on my response.

Mensah, Lewis gave me an idea on how to get more money out of him, a lot of money. He is more concerned with getting revenge on Mohammed Abacha than he is with the money that he lost. Trust me, I know Lewis and revenge looms very large in his jungle code. He would probably pay more than the $17000 he lost just to see bad things happen to Mohammed. Do this, write to Lewis today and tell him that if he's serious you could arrange for something to 'happen' to Mohammed while he's in jail but it would cost $7500. Explain that you would have to pay the jailer and his supervisor. I'll bet you anything he would pay the money. If he doesn't want to pay that much then we havn't lost anything. Let's try it.

This storm hasn't let up at all and I don't know how long I'm going to be stuck here. What I might do is go back to Gadyukina, tell Lewis that I went to Irkutsk and sent you the $650, get the $2000 and maybe the $7500 and then make the trip to Irkutsk to send you your 30% when this storm is finished. I'll decide tonight.

I have to tell you that this is kinda fun and I'm really enjoying it! After we see how this first time goes with Lewis we'll try again with his partners. You and I can make a lot of money doing this.

Write to Lewis today about arranging to have something happen to Muhammed.

Kiss.
Maya

Lewd Noogie

Maya,

Where the hell are you? I tried calling the hotel where you usually stay in Irkutsk but they said you weren't there. When are you coming back?

This thing is going to cost me another $2,000!! Can you believe this?? How did I get myself into this mess?

Right now I would be the happiest man in the world if only I could get my hands around Mohammed Abacha's scrawny neck. I even asked the attorney if he could arrange for Mohammed to have an accident in while he's in jail.

Do you think I should pay this $2,000? I'm only going to get about $14,000 back from the sale of the car that prick bought with my money. Am I going to have to spend more money than it's worth?

Lewd
Maya Bushburn
(to Lewd, bcc: Cole Mensah)

Lewis,

The hotel where I usually stay was full last night so I stayed at the Hotel Huisos. I'm getting ready to head back to Gadyukina now so I'll see you tonight.

The $2000 does not sound excessive to me. Sometimes the taxes in these other countries can be pretty steep. I trust your attorney and I would say go ahead and pay it.

I know how much you would like to get back at Mr. Abacha and how happy it would make you. Baby, you know that when you're happy I'm happy, unless it involves a lot of touching. If there's some way Mr. Mensah can help you I don't see a problem with it. It would give you the closure that you so badly need.

I'll see you tonight and we'll have a drink together.

Maya
Cole Mensah

I will contact mr lewis that Mohammed can be posioned but first send the $200 today, and when he give you the $2000 you can wire my percentage too then i give him another big bill.

Registrar Name: Mr, Sodiq Fatai
Country: Accra, Ghana 00233
Text Question: What is my name
Text Answer: Mr, Sodiq Fatai

Please i will be glad you get back with your full name and address including the payment information with the transfer slip attached to me to verify it and cash it at western union then we work for the next round.

Yours in service,

Barrister Cole Mensah Esq.
Maya Bushburn

Mensah, dear boy, let me try again to explain the situation here. I can't send you $200 today. The nearest Western Union office is in Irkutsk and I'm still a 6-hour drive from there, even more because of this storm. I'm in a small town called Tula which is between Irkutsk and Gadyukina. We have a season here called 'Winter' and during winter we get this white stuff falling out of the sky that we call 'Snow'. Sometimes we get lots of snow, like now.It can be very difficult and dangerous to drive in. There is about 3 feet of snow on the road to Irkutsk so I can't get there today, capice?

Here's what we're going to do. I'm going to go back to Gadyukina tonight. Lewis is going to give me $2000 and, if you hurry up and send him an email saying that you can arrange for Mr. Abacha to have his gruel poisoned, he will give me an additional $7500 to send you. Then, when this storm is over and they have the roads cleared, I will make the trip to Irkutsk to send you your $3045 which is 30% of the total amount we will have so far. I guarantee you'll have your money before the weekend, probably around Wednesday. This is like talking to a kid. Do you understand all of what I'm telling you?

Ok, so you send Lewis an email today and tell him you can have Mr. Abacha taken care of. I'll handle everything from this end.

Maya
Cole Mensah

"Mensah" does offer to have the imaginary Mohammed posioned, and sheds an interesting light on police practices in his part of the world.

Attention: Lewis,

Yes,if you want mohammed to be posioned i can order for that but yyou have to send the $2000 first, then i cosult the police to know what we can do for you to posion him to death.

I eed you urgent responsenow,

Yours in service,
Barrister Cole Mensah Esq.

Lewd Noogie

Lewd apparently missed the demand for money.

Mr. Mensah,

This is truly good news! How I wish I could be there when this goes down! Is this going to cost anything? I would think the police would be happy to do it for free for the good of humanity.

Lewd
Cole Mensah

... and the price goes up...

Thank you for the email, i want to inform you that i just spoke with the police today, they said if you want Mohammed to be posioned t will cost you the sum of $7500 because the will settle some criminal in the prison to take care of him and they can bury the case, so it is left to you, let me know what you can you, then we track down the second criminal his brother Samini Abacha.

Thanks, Yours in serivce,
Barr, Cole Mensah Esq.

Lewd Noogie

Mr. Mensah,

I want to think about this for awhile. $7,500 is more than I thought it would be to step on a cockroach like Muhommed but I'm inclined to pay it to get rid of that reptile.

I'll talk it over with Ms. Bushburn when she gets back tonight and I'll contact you later.

Thanks again for all your effort.
Lewd

Cole Mensah

Mensah keeps trying to get money from Maya

I have send him an email, but first yo have to send the $200 first to me, find a way by tomorrow, then you send the rest of my % on Wednesday, please no jokes, i really want to do good deal with you and if you do good to me too, we are going to be rich without no trace, and i we still have to work on Lewis colleagues too, so think well and send the $200 first on Monday morning for me to believe who am dealing with ok.

Mensah.
Maya Bushburn

Mensah, did you even READ my last email to you?? Do you not understand that I CAN'T SEND YOU ANYTHING BEFORE WEDNESDAY BECAUSE I CAN'T GET TO THE WESTERN UNION OFFICE?? WE'RE HAVING A BLIZZARD HERE, THE ROADS ARE IMPASSABLE!!

You are very annoying sometimes Mensah, and you really need to work on that. You must be patient. Don't worry, you'll get your money, just give me a chance to get to Irkutsk. Please.

I arrived back in Gadyukina about 2 hours ago and I had a talk with Lewis. I convinced him that having Mohammed bumped off would help his mood so he gave me $7500 for that and another $2000 for the tax to send you. I think we did quite well this week.

The storm is supposed to let up either late tomorrow or early Tuesday so I'll try to get to Irkutsk again on Wednesday to send you your $200. I'll send you the MTCN when I get back here.

Talk to you then.
Maya

Cole Mensah
Please make sure you send the money on wednesday and let me know how much you are sending, have lewis giving to you the other payment?
Aye Alani

Hello Lewis,

we want you to send to us a form of identification, your international passport or your drivers license this will be needed to back up your records with us in our headquarter office.

Thank and God be with you,

Mr, Aye Alani
General Commander Of Police and Fraudulent Investigator.

Lewd Noogie

Mr. Alani,

I gave my passport to my Administrative Assistent and asked her to scan it and send a copy to you. She informs me that she has already done so.

Sincerely,
Lewis D. Noogie

Aye Alani
Please tell her to resend it, we did not get it.
Maya Bushburn

Mensah,

Lewis gave me $2000 for the tax and another $7500 to have Mohammed taken care of. That, with the original $650 comes to a total of $10150. That's some serious centavos, my friend. And there's no need for you to worry about your $200. It looks like the storm is passing through so I should have no problem getting to Irkutsk to send it to you on Wednesday.

I told you I've done some reading about 419 scams but I had no idea it would be so easy to pulloff, especially with a financial moron like Lewis. Or his partners. I've got some great ideas for future projects.

I'll send you the Western Union information when I get back Wednesday night.

Maya
Cole Mensah
Ok i will be waiting for the transfer details on wednesday.
Maya Bushburn

Dearest Mensah,

I have some bad news my friend. I'm not going to be able to send you any money. You see, I've got my eye on a very cute but very expensive nutria jacket and it's going to cost every bit of the $10150 that I got from Lewis. Maybe we can do something together some other time and I'll make it up to you. I'd appreciate it very much if you would send a note to Lewis saying you received the entire $10150 so he won't start asking me about it.

I do have some good news, though. I set up an email address with a name similar to yours that I'm going to use to try and pull the same thing on Lewis' partners. I hope you don't mind but I used the original email that you sent to Lewis to get things started and one of them has already come to me asking if I thought it was real and should he pursue it. Of course I said yes and it looks like he's on the hook. Wish me luck!

So thanks for all your help and good luck with any future scams.

Luv,
Maya

Cole Mensah

A disappointed "Mensah" denounces Maya to Lewd!

(to Lewd)

are you crazy? why are you wasting my time and you go and open another email as burnsburn to contact me, please your assistance is trying to scam you and me, please what is going on, if you want mohammed sentence you have to send the fee your self, not your admin assistance ok

Lewd Noogie

... who cannot believe ill of Maya...

Mr. Mensah,

I'm not sure what you are referring to. You said you already received the $650 for the ownership certificate and Ms. Bushburn left early this morning to Irkutsk to send you $9,500 for the tax and the little accident Mohammed is going to have. I think everything is proceeding smoothly and you should have the money today.

How will you be sending me the money that is recovered from the sale of Mohammed's car? Also I would appreciate it very much if you could scan and send any newspaper articles regarding Mohammed's demise.

Thanks again for all your assistance.
Lewd

Cole Mensah
(to Lewd)

please do not send your admin assistant to send the money to us, take it back from her and send it your self, please we dont want to deal with you admin assistant, shes trying to scam us by not sending the funds.

Lewd Noogie

Mr. Mensah,

I don't understand you are saying. First of all, I can't very well take the money back from her because she's already in Irkutsk to send the money to you. Secondly, I don't want to have to make that long, dangerous drive to Irkutsk in this weather, that's what I have an Admin Assistant for.

And your remarks about Ms. Bushburn trying to scam us are just wrong. I trust her completely, the woman doesn't have a dishonest bone in her beautiful body. But because you have been a great help getting me through this Abacha mess I'll speak with her about your concerns when she returns tonight.

Don't worry, you'll probably receive the money tonight, tomorrow at latest.

Lewd
Lewd Noogie

Mr. Mensah,

I spoke with Ms. Bushburn tonight regarding the money to be sent to you. She maintains that she wired the money through Western Union today in 2 parts of $4,750 each and faxed you a copy of the transfer information. You have no doubt received it by now. She explained that you were expecting the money on Monday and probably misunderstood her when she said she would send it on Wednesday. All should be well now.

You didn't respond to my question as to how I will receive the money from the sale of Mohammed's car. Please let me know at your earliest convenience. Also please keep me appraised of Mohammed's sentencing.

Lewd
Maya Bushburn

Subject: Stop Writing to Lewis

Mensah, what are you trying to do, get me fired? Don't be telling Lewis that I'm trying to scam him. I didn't say that about you, did I?

Please don't write to Lewis anymore, you're just going to screw up all my plans. Don't worry, you and I can do something together some other time.

Maya
Cole Mensah
(to Lewd)

OK if you want to know that am not lying that your unfaithful assistant did not send me money, tell her to scan to you the copy of the western union, because i did not receive any copy here and i did not receive any funds, she complains to me that you don't pay her well in her job so he will be taking your money when ever you instruct her to end money, please if you cannot send the money to em your self, forget about Mohamed and your money, but if you want me to help you, you must send the money your self, please i don't want to be contacted by this your stupid admin assistance anymore ok.

Barr, Mensah Esq
Cole Mensah
(to Maya)

You bastard, i hope you are enjoying your greediness, hope you have use all the money that is not yours to buy your foolish jacket, keep it on, God will catch you, i tough you are a good partner, bastard... i will take your name to a spiritual herbalst here in ghana if you dont send my share, i will tell the evil priest here in my village to put a cause on you to have accident.. you will see am saying it for real.

Maya Bushburn

NOT THE HERBALIST! NO, NO, ANYTHING BUT THAT!

Mensah, do you really think that you're going to cause me any harm from there with parsley? Puhleeze.

I know you're upset about me spending money on my new jacket but it's such a beautiful jacket and I look terrific in it. I promise you that if you saw me wearing it you would say I did the right thing.

Here's the good news for the day - I sent a version of your first letter to Mr. Dahmer, one of Lewis' partners and he came to me to ask if I thought it was real. Of course I said yes and he wants me to guide him through. This is so easy! Don't worry though, I'll pull you in on one of these someday.

Again, Mensah, please don't write to Lewis anymore, I really don't need him getting suspicious. Remember, you and I are partners and partners don't do that to each other.

Luv,
Maya

Lewd Noogie

Mr. Mensah,

I really don't understand what's going on here. Ms. Bushburn assures me that she sent the money to you and faxed you the transfer information. I suspect that there may be a problem at Western Union, things are not always so efficient at the Irkutsk office. You'll probably receive it today or tomorrow.

One of my partners is sending Ms. Bushburn to the Western Union office tomorrow to wire some money and I will ask her to check on your transfer. I'll let you know when she gets back tomorrow night.

Lewd
Cole Mensah

Sir,

Tell your what so ever called admin assistant, to forward to you the western union slip of the transfer, again tell her to forward it to you, then i want you to send the western union slip to me by email your self, and the amount sent with the transfer details.

Regards,
Barrister Cole Mensah Esq.

Cole Mensah
(To Maya)

you are a bastrd, if you know you are a good partner why dont you send my share, see i promise if you like dont send my share, i have your name i will consult an evil priest to work on you, maybe then you will know that Africa is not Russia....that is my last word to you,

Mensah
Lewd Noogie

Mr. Mensah,

I spoke with Ms. Bushburn as you requested and I asked her for the Western Union transfer information. Unfortunately she says she left the slips in her boyfriend's house in Irkutsk. She will be returning to the Irkutsk Western Union tomorrow for one of my partners and she promises to fax the slips to you again while she's there. I hope this is satisfactory.

Mr. Mensah, you have not yet responded to my queries regarding the money from the sale of Mohammed's car and updates on his sentencing. Please bring me up to date.

Lewd
Maya Bushburn

Mensah, Lewis just came to me and said that you're whining again about not having received the money he thinks I sent you and I told him I'd fax the information to you again. Mensah, did I or did I not ask you to stop writing to him? If you keep this crap up you're going to get me in trouble.

What you and I had was very special to me but, sadly, it's time for us to part ways. Just go back to whatever you were doing before we met and leave Lewis alone. I'll tell Lewis that you turned out to be a scammer and disappeared with his money so he won't think that I took it. Don't worry about me, I'll be fine, but for this to work you have to go away.

Please Mensah, go away.

Yours forever,
Maya

And so Mensah goes away...

 

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