to each his Dulcinea


Conor O'Prolite, veteran of such Lad death threats as I MIGHT JUST SPEAR YOUR LIFE and BE A GOOD GIRL ALWAYS, returns as Conoro Oprolite.

Conoro Oprolite is threatened by the French speaking Oumar Hassan. So we're using Spanish as a common language. Although the lad doesn't know that.

Translations by Babelfish.

Historical note (who says Scamorama isn't educational?) Twenty four vessels of the Spanish Armada were wrecked on the shores of Ireland in 1588. Conor O'Prolite is descended from Miguel Oprolite, one of the survivors. Conoro is a very distant relative.


Cast
Oumar Hassan (Hitlad) (oumar_hassan@ymail.com)
Conoro Oprolite (Oumar's intended victim)


Oumar Hassan

Je suis Oumar Hassan, tueur à gage de l'organisation "Al Bayane".

Vous êtes sur ma liste de personne à éliminer.

Nous sommes au courant de tout sur vous

Je n'ai pas le choix, car j'ai bésoin d'argent. Je suis actuellement sans pitié; car il me reste plus beaucoup de temps à vivre et j'emporterai avec moi dans ma tombe, toutes les personnes sur la liste.

Mes Hommes sont déjà postés dans un hotel près de chez vous et j'ai un homme de main qui vous suit partout ou vous allez. Ils attendent l'ordre pour terminer le boulot.

Vos communications sont sur écoute.

Un conseil ! ne parler de cela à personne, je dis bien à personne (pas à un seul de vos amis, ni famille) et tout ira bien.Sinon mes hommes le sauront et automatiquement votre mort sera anticipé.

Ce que vous ne savez pas c'est que j'ai des connaissances en informatique très rares qui m'ont permis de vous pister et trouver votre trace.

Tout dependra de votre tenue, et je verrai si on peut en arriver à un arrangement quelconque.

La police ne pourra rien pour vous. Avant qu'elle n'intervienne, vous serez certainement mort.

VOUS AVEZ INTERET A COLLABORER.

Oumar Hassan (Chef de l'organisation Al-bayane).

I am Oumar Hassan, hired killer of l' organization " Al Bayane". You are on my list of anybody to eliminate. We are with the current of all on you I n' do not have the choice, because j' have d' need; money.

I am currently without pity; because it remains me much of time to live and j' will carry with me in my tomb, all the people on the list.

My Men are already posted in a hotel close to on your premise and j' have a henchman which follows you everywhere or you go. They await l' order to finish the job.

Your communications are on listening. A council! to speak about that with nobody, I say well to anybody (not with only one of your friends, nor family) and all will be well. If not my men will know it and automatically your death will be anticipated.

What you do not know c' is that j' have very rare knowledge in data processing which m' allowed to track you and find your trace.

All will depend on your behaviour, and I will see whether one can come to an unspecified arrangement.

The police force will not be able anything for you. Before qu' it n' intervenes, you will certainly have died.

YOU MAY FIND IT BENEFICIAL TO COLLABORATE.

Oumar Hassan (Chief of l' organization Al-bayane).


[Babelfish's work is deliberately left un-edited throughout. Apologies to anyone who can actually compose a sentence in French or Spanish. It's just funnier this way.]

Conoro Oprolite

Ésta es una cierta clase de la broma, isn' ¿t él?

This is some sort of joke, isn't it?
Oumar Hassan

Esto no tiene nada que ver con una broma, si no quieren creer, demasiado malo para usted.

No puedo retirar todavía, pero todo depende de usted. Usted tiene 48 horas. pasado que, usted sabe qué esperar.

This does not have anything to do with a joke, if they do not want to believe, too bad for you.

I cannot still retire, but everything depends on you. You have 48 hours. happened that, you know what to hope.
Conoro Oprolite

Supongo que tengo que creerle. Tengo muchos enemigos, y usted debe ser cortocircuito del dinero si sus muchachos están permaneciendo en el hotel de Sancho Panza. It' s por completo de putas y de drogadictos. I' d les dice tener cuidado si era usted. ¿Qué usted quisiera que hiciera? I' d tiene gusto de saber quién le está pagando para matarme, pero supongo los éticas profesionales evitan que usted me diga.

I suppose I have to believe you. I do have a lot of enemies, and you must be short of money if your boys are staying at the Sancho Panza Hotel. It's full of whores and drug addicts. I'd tell them to be careful if I were you. What do you want me to do? I'd like to know who is paying you to kill me, but I suppose professional ethics prevent you from telling me."
Oumar Hassan

M. Conoro Oprolite

Yo n' tenga nada ustedes explican, j' tenga un trabajo que hacer c' es todo y j' se ha pagado para eso. A menos que, para retractarme, me propone la suma que m' se ha propuesto para este trabajo. Si es d' acuerdo por este acuerdo, entonces me transfieren me cuanto antes la suma de 3000 euros antes del final del día de mañana. Y sobre todo, si habla de eso a quienquiera yo lo sabrá y sabe lo que le espera.

Transfiera dinero a esta dirección, por película de vaqueros unión y me transmiten me losdetalles de la transferencia.

M. Conoro Oprolite

I n' you have nothing you explain, j' he has a work that to do c' he is everything and j' one has been pleased for that. Unless, to retractar to me, m' proposes the sum to me that; one has seted out for this work. If he is d' agreement by this agreement, then transfers me to me the sooner the sum of 3000 Euros before the end of at some future date. And mainly, if speak of that to quienquiera will know I it and know what she hopes to him.

It transfers money to this direction, by Western union and they transmit me to me losdetalles of the transference. To send l' money to this direction: Ouattara Fatouma in Abidjan (Côte d' Ivoire)
Conoro Oprolite

Como usted sabe, vivo en una pequeña aldea en la sierra Esmeralda, y no tiene Western Union. ¿Podría darla a sus hombres en el hotel de Sancho Panza, y espero que no lo pase en las putas?

As you know, I live in a small village in the Sierra Esmeralda, and it does not have a Western Union. Could I give it to your men in the Sancho Panza hotel, and hope they do not spend it on the whores?
Oumar Hassan

Escuche señor, no tengo tiempo suficiente, tengo otros objetivos a eliminar.

Lo único que puedo decir es que aún puede dejar un plazo de 48 horas (antes del mediodía martes).

Después de esto, demasiado malo para usted.

Sin embargo, sólo usted puede cambiar eso.

Transferencia de dinero a través de Western Union que es una caja de forma rápida y fiable de transferencia (www.westernunion.com), este sitio le mostrará la transferencia de un asiento cerca de usted. Sólo tienes que mover en una ciudad y encontrar una agencia.

Enviar a la siguiente dirección: Ouattara Fatouma Abidjan (cote d'ivoire).

Una vez que la transferencia se hace, y sé que voy a pedir a mis hombres a retirarse..

Depeche usted antes de que sea demasiado tarde.

Sir listens, does not have sufficient time, has other objectives to eliminate.

The unique thing that I can say is that still it can leave a term of 48 hours (before the noon Tuesday).

After this, too bad for you.

Nevertheless, only you can change that.

Transference of money through Western Union that is a box of fast form and trustworthy of transference (www.westernunion.com), this site will show the transference to him of a seat near you. You only must move in a city and find an agency.

To send to the following direction: Ouattara Fatouma Abidjan (cote d' ivoire).

Once the transference becomes, and I know that I am going to ask my men to retire.

Depeche you before you am too much behind schedule.
Conoro Oprolite

Mi coche ha analizado, pero hay un servicio de autobuses semanal a Cervantes, la ciudad más cercana mañana. Si no tiene Western Union, puedo coger el tren al La Mancha

My car has broken down, but there is a weekly bus service to Cervantes, the nearest town tomorrow. If it does not have a Western Union, I can catch the train to La Mancha
Oumar Hassan

Mr. Conoro Oprolite,

Debrouiller como puede, de manera que el dinero se transferirá a través de Western Union a la dirección que te di antes y en esta ocasión.
Como ya he dicho, espero que decirle a mis hombres a retirarse. De lo contrario, hacer lo que debemos hacer.
Luego me llaman con los detalles del envío (código y contraseña) y (de preguntas y respuestas de transferencia).

Así que me espera.

Mr. Conoro Oprolite,
Debrouiller as it can, so that the money will be transferred through Western Union to the direction that I gave you before and in this occasion.
Since already there am saying, I hope that to say to him to my men to retire. Otherwise, to do what we must do.
Soon they call to me with the details of the shipment (code and password) and (of questions and answers of transference). So it hopes to me.
Conoro Oprolite

El autobús se irá en diez minutos, tan I' un montón de VE de hora de cogerlo

The bus will be leaving in ten minutes, so I've plenty of time to catch it
Conoro Oprolite

(using Portuguese for reasons to be explained shortly)

(Eu sou pesaroso que eu não podia fazer ontem o pagamento de Western Union. A barra-ônibus deixada de funcionar em um moinho de vento na estrada de enrolamento íngreme para baixo à cidade, e eram afortunados que ninguém estêve matado. Eu sofri o abalo, e fui mantido no hospital de noite. Minhas da cabeça dores ainda.

Eu espero seus homens não fizeram com que o ruído elétrico me tentasse e matasse. Não há nenhum ponto em pagá-lo se eu estou indo ser matado de qualquer maneira.

I am sorry I wasn't able to make the Western Union payment yesterday. The bus crashed into a windmill on the steep winding road down to town, and It was lucky that nobody was killed. I suffered concussion, and was kept in hospital overnight. My head still aches.

I hope your men did not cause the crash to try and kill me. There is no point in paying you if I am going to be killed anyway.
Oumar Hassan

Escuche al Sr., no comprendo nada de lo que ustedes dichos. sea más explícito, le espero. yo n' tengo más bastante tiempo, debo hacer lo que j' tenga que hacer y foutre el campo l' hombre quien m' pagó para el trabajo, vienen de m' llamado. Dichas mí rápidamente lo que pasa y s' él ya otro acuerdo cualquiera veré aún lo que puedo hacer.

It listens Mr., I do not include/understand anything than you this. he is more explicit, I hope to him. I n' I have more time enough, I must do what j' it must do and foutre the field l' man who m' he paid for the work, come from m' call. Said quickly what happens and s' to me; it already another agreement anyone will see still what I can do.
Conoro Oprolite

(using a mixture of Spanish and Portuguese)

Lo siento. Vivo en la frontera portuguesa española, y hablo ambas idiomas fluido. Y mi lesión en la cabeza debe haber hechome enviarle por correo electrónico en portugués. El doctor me ha dicho que debo recuperarme en algunos días.

A polícia encontrou agora que o excitador não causou o ruído elétrico. A barra-ônibus foi batida pela maleta de ferramentas deixada cair da estaŤão espacial internacional no mês passado.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/7737250.stm

É um milagre que nós sobrevivemos ao ruído elétrico.

I am sorry. I live on the Spanish Portuguese border, and speak both languages fluently. And my head injury must have caused me to email you in Portuguese. The doctor has told me I should recover in a few days.

The police have now found out that the driver did not cause the crash. The bus was hit by the tool bag dropped from the International Space Station last month.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/sci/tech/7737250.stm

It is a miracle that we survived the crash.
Oumar Hassan

Estoy loco de que tiene miedo racontez_je de personne_

Creo que está listo para la tapa de la muerte.

y no voy a decir que el día en que mis hombres se termine con usted, pero su final será sangrienta.

I am crazy of which racontez_je of personne_ is scared

I believe that he is ready for the cover of the death.

and I am not going to say that the day in that my men are finished with you, but its end will be bloody.
Conoro Oprolite

Mire, quiero pagarle, pero todavía no estoy bastante bien salir de la casa. No quiero morir apenas por la pequeña cantidad de 3,000€. Espere por favor un día o dos.

Look, I want to pay you, but I'm still not well enough to leave the house. I don't want to die just for the small amount of 3,000€. Please wait a day or two.
Oumar Hassan

ok_je darle hasta el viernes (antes de la final de la jornada)..
Y les advierto que las agencias privadas de 17heures_
es su última chance_ok

ok_je to give him until Friday (before the end of the day). And I notice that the agencies to them deprived of 17heures_ he is its last chance_ok
Oumar Hassan

Todavía estoy esperando a que termine con esta historia.

pero sé que mi paciencia tiene límites.

¡Ay si hasta mañana (final de la jornada), la transferencia no se realiza

Still I am hoping to that it finishes with this history.
but I know that my patience has limits.
Ay if see you tomorrow (final of the day), the transference is not realised
Conoro Oprolite

Siento mucho mejor hoy, y Senora Dulcinea (mi vecino) ha acordado darme una elevación abajo a la ciudad mañana

I feel a lot better today, and Senora Dulcinea (my neighbour) has agreed to give me a lift down to town tomorrow.
Oumar Hassan

Espero que comunicar los detalles de la transferencia por correo antes de la final de la jornada de mañana viernes.
una vez que se hace, todo va a terminar, mis hombres se retirarán.
este es el mejor para usted.

I hope that to communicate the details of the transference by mail before the end of the morning day Friday. once one becomes, everything is going to finish, my men will retire. this he is the best one for you.
Oumar Hassan

¿Qué se juega señor, tengo suficiente deja al azar y todavía nada, ¿qué espera que haga yo.
queremos que se termine con usted?
El dinero viene o no?
Mi paciencia tiene límites, les advierto.

What gambles Sir, I have sufficient leaves at random and still nothing, what hopes that I do.
we want that it is finished with you?
The money comes or no?
My patience has limits, I warn to them.
Conoro Oprolite

Lo siento. Traté a Senora Dulcinea a una comida en un restaurante, teníamos algunas bebidas, y pasamos la noche juntos en un hotel. ¡Estamos consiguiendo casados el próximo mes!

Con todo el entusiasmo, olvidé enviarle el dinero. Arere que va abajo a la ciudad otra vez el lunes a arreglar la boda, así que me le lo enviaremos.

¿El Senora Dulcinea de la cubierta 3,000€ también, o necesito enviarle 6,000€?

I am sorry. I treated Senora Dulcinea to a meal at a restaurant, we had a few drinks, and spent the night together in a hotel. We're getting married next month!

With all the excitement, I forgot to send you the money. We are going down to town again on Monday to arrange the wedding, so I will send it them.

Will the 3,000€ cover Senora Dulcinea as well, or do I need to send you 6,000€?
Oumar Hassan

Tengo la impresión de que amuse_je piensa que prefiere a Ubre mourir_ok tanto vous_vous'll visita mis hombres.

Yo me encargo de todo para usted y que ahora es suficiente.

I have the impression that amuse_je thinks that vous_vous' prefers to Udder mourir_ok as much; ll visits my men. I am in charge of everything for you and who now is sufficient.
Conoro Oprolite

No entiendo. ¿Está usted que es grosero a mí?

Parezco haber faltado un cierto entusiasmo ayer. ¿Sus hombres estuvieron implicados?

I do not understand. Are you being rude to me?

I seem to have missed some excitement yesterday. Were your men involved?

(The end)

 

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