HAND HELPS THE HAND TO MAKE IT CLEANER

From the archives of Mal Reynolds. Mal has masterminded many scambaits, including:
THE PRICE OF JUSTICE, WE AIM TO MISBEHAVE, YOU ARE A GREAT PILOT, A BLESSING IN DISGUISE and BORN TO RULE.
He is a senior associate at Reynolds, White, Dane and Morrihan, a generous supporter of this web site.


I'm not going to try to explain what this Lad meant.

This bait occurs entirely in chat and features some truly confusing Lad English. Do the best you can.

The Scammer: OLAMIDE FAFO, a Sudanese refugee in Sudan with millions in cash

The Baiter: MALCOLM REYNOLDS - a retired US Marine

I received a chat request and decided to accept it. The next day...

LAD:

05 Aug 2011
232 AM

Good day I am OLAMIDE FAFO from Sudan but presently in a refugee camp here in Ghana ,I am the only Son of MR OLABODE FAFO My father who was a Former minister and very wealthy Gold merchant in my country Sudan before he died. i am contacting you in respect of my inheritance funds of $10million usd my late father has put in a consignment box and deposited in a Security and Finance Company in Ghana before the War in my Country that lead to his Death

So i want you to help me stand as my Foreign Beneficiary/Partner and contact the Security and Finance Company for the claim and transfer of the consignment box to your country for investment purpose so That as soon as the Consignment box is deliverd to you,I can come over and join you there to invest my funds with u . I am willing to offer you 20% of the total funds for your effort and help and 5% for any Expenses Occur during and after the successful transfer of this fund in the Consignment box to you. get back to me on [snipped]

That is your basic Help Me Collect My Inheritance, or Gold Orphan/Cocoa Orphan letter.

i am in a place were you can seee me live on webcam if you really want to see me on cam so that you will be sure of me i have no mom no dad i want you to be my mom too please

MAL:

Later that morning...
0858

I can't be your mother as I'm a man. You clearly sent this to the wrong person.

LAD:
i mean your are my dad
i am here sir
i am in a refgee camp here in accra ghana with my late fathers consingment box
MAL:
So who are you and why are you writing me?
LAD:
i am a refgee from sudan
LAD:
i lost my dad in right in sudan i lost the whole of my family being killed by the rebels
MAL:
Your father was a supporter of the Sudanese Government?
LAD:
no sir we alrweady quit the force when he was in sudan but due to his post they got him killed
MAL:
Well, that's bad to hear, but there are tens of thousands of refugees in Kenya from what I hear.
LAD:
but i am not in kenya i am in accra ghana
LAD:
i manage to escap with the consingment boxes
LAD:
due to the pressure ofthe rebels
MAL:
I know you're not in Kenya. I just want to know why I should help you rather than them.
LAD:
because the only way i can have a access to spend thism oney is to make sure it gets out of africa
LAD:
for i need you to receive the funds on my behalf that is all right now i am having the money right here with me in my hotel room
LAD:
and i dont know why yourwebcam isnot working on here for you to see me live on webcam too
MAL:
You're in a hotel? You said a refugee camp before.
LAD:
yes i am talking to you from an hotel that has an internet cafe now

for i can live the boxes right at the cam the whole of 10 million dollars
MAL:
You have ten million dollars... Why the hell would you need my help?
LAD:
because i can have an acess to spend it in her

here and more so it is in an old consingment metal box
MAL:
That's not what I meant.
LAD:
that need to under go some greesing and cuttingbefore i can have the access to the money then we can deal on how it will gets to you all i i know is that you can do this for me DAD please help me
MAL:
Why should I help you ahead of all the others who don't have millions of dollars in a box?
LAD:
dad i need you to receive this funds for me right ther for legaly i can spend this money in here i afrcia with me age to handle this much of money and more so it is an inheritance that neded to be send out of the country beforer it canbe used

i promise togive to you a 20% out of this funds
MAL:
So you think I'm that mercenary?
LAD:
no you are a help you serve just as my dad now becaussei have no one but you i got a lot of dreams to reahc as i have dream to beome a pilot

and now that i have lost the whole of my familt

all i got now is this money and some one that will help me out
MAL:
So all you have is ten million dollars... my heart bleeds.... NOT.

How old are you?
LAD:
DAD are you hacing a webcam allowe chat there so that you can see me on cam live please
MAL:
I don't have a webcam. Just answer my gorram question.
LAD:
and what question is that Dad..?
MAL:
The one I asked just before. And don't call me Dad.
LAD:
ok sir

tell me whathave you asked please
MAL:
It's just seven lines up. Use your gorram eyes!
LAD:
WELL tell me what actualy you ask so that i can have the full explanation for you because now i am having the money in a box and i am scared of people around me now fore the wounder what is inside the box

all we need to do now is to let this money comes toyou as foreing beneficiary
MAL:
I don't believe it...

What I asked was, how old are you?
LAD:
i a m 22years old

and i will be glad if you can help me receiving this funds as soon as possible sothat i can come over to meet youright there to help me inves the rest 8million dollars that will beleft for me in here

because you will have a 205 share ofthis funds

wich is exactly 2million

20%rather
MAL:
When I was 22 years old I was a Corporal in the United States Marine Corps. I had fought for my country in Iraq. No-one left me $10 million.
LAD:
I AM NOT THE OWNER OF THIS MONEY WASFORM MY LATE DAD

he left it for me as my share of his wealth for i am his only child before he died
MAL:
So you've inherited it. You own it. It's yours.

the boxes are here with me and all i need is to get a metal cutting machine in order to unlock this boxes then start sending it to you bit by bit by westrn union and in due time all will be there with youor better youlove to be send by moneygram

yes it is mine my late dad left it for me as my inheritance
MAL:
So don't give me that boondoggle about not being the owner!
LAD:
yes i know i am the owner but cant handle this hugge money at this my age all alone in africa and an unknown land

all we need is to get this done one afterthe other Dad we need to get a metla cutting machine to cut the box off then we can have an access to get the money to you
MAL:
Hold it right there Bubba-Louie - what did you call me?
LAD:
I CALL YOU DAD
MAL:
And I told you not to!
LAD:
because you are the only one that i have

there was about 5 e mail that was given to me
MAL:
Sorry, what?
LAD:
there was about 5 e mail that was given to me

and when the refugee pastor prayed about it he said you are the right one thathave a good mind and that can easilyhelp me out of this
MAL:
Sorry, but I don't take religion seriously. If you're saying that means I have to help you, like the Eskimo said to the icebox salesman, I ain't buying it.
LAD:
oh i do understand but i want youto know that hand helps the hand to make it cleaner

i know that youmight have some doubt or have a surprise but i know when yourecceive this funds youwill be proud of me
MAL:
Why?
LAD:
i am having this funds with me now and i am scared for it is not save to keep moving around with thi huge amount of money
MAL:
So how is that going to make me proud of you?
LAD:
because i will start sending thisfunds to youby western union little bylittle immediately we got the boxes unlock
MAL:
Again, how would that make me proud of you?
LAD:
i will do juat as i have said
MAL:
Means nothing to me.
LAD:
then you will see that i am one out of a million

you will receive this funds little by little as soon as we got this boxe unlocked
MAL:
And before we go any further, even if I agree, your idea is dumbass.
LAD:
please never think this way for i am scared because i hae nevrhandle this muhc money before n my life

10 million dollars

and i dont know who is watching my fotstep for it this money is gone away from me

it means i will have no hoe or future

for i want you to receive this funds as soon as posible
MAL:
You have more to look forward to than that little baby I saw on the news feeds. She'll die in the Kenyan camps before she has a chance to live. No-one gave her ten million!
LAD:
oh i heard that too when th pastor came in this morning to prayfor us
MAL:
O RLY?
LAD:
at the camp but this those not surpose to happen to me rather do i have to lose this funds

when we gotthe metal cutting machine i will just have this funds send to youby western union bit by bit ok
MAL:
What, and there's a Western Union in the gorram refugee camp?
LAD:
there is a western union here in accra ghana i will just have my way out and get them send to you little by little ok

but we need to get the box unlock buy buying a metal cutting machine so that there will be an acess to have the money being send to you as planed ok
MAL:
Ain't going to happen, Bubba-Louie. That's a dumbass plan.
LAD:
and how do you think is the best already youknow i am a small boy

and i am scared ofhandling this money myself all alone you are the senior tell me how for i am scared having this hugge money with me in a foreing land

[You see this claim a lot - I've baited Lads claiming to be a "small boy" or even a "little boy" at the age of 27! See I WAS BORN TO RULE for an early example.]

MAL:
You are not a small boy! You are a gorram adult!
LAD:
no i am just 22

please try and understand me ok
MAL:
That makes you a gorram grown man!
LAD:
cwell i will have to belive in what so ever you say

for youare a groen up dad to me

all we need is to get the metal cutting maching that cost 750 dollas

This is actually something new and different in the "Orphan/Trunk Box" format.
The money is supposedly needed to GET THE TRUNK BOX OPEN.
Apparently WD-40 is not an option.

MAL:
Sorry, what?
LAD:
the boxes has being locked for a long time

and we need to get it unlock so that there will be a gain of an access to get the money send to you bit by bit

and the machine cost just 750 dolars because we need toget ours so that it can be done privtelly for i cant car a box worth od 10million to a purblic place in ordeer to get it locked
MAL:
You ain't sending me anything bit by bit. That is the dumbass idea.
LAD:
ok tell me how you want it to be send to youplease

for i am just scared of how things is going on here it is dark and gets scarering too
MAL:
Holy shit on a shingle, grow a backbone!
LAD:
no dad i am so scared handling this money myselfa lont

i am a boy of just22years i cant handle this please assitme in order to secure my future and my late fathers wealth too
MAL:
You give me that boy of 22 years bullshit again and I'm out of here. You got that?
LAD:
ok i hear that please dont be upset ok

just dont want this money to be with me for much night because here is too dangerous and so risk
MAL:
What's the risk? Sounds like the box is totally secure!
LAD:
sir the box is no were to be secured for i have to keep carying it all about if i should live it in the refugee camp they might got it played with
MAL:
Played with? From what you said before it's made of something like layered ceramet - well beyond any hudloom with a crowbar. Just so you know - layered ceramet is the kind of armour used on modern tanks such as the Abrams and the Challenger.
LAD:
YES IT IS A strong metal

but once it is being know by purblic that such amount of money is inside they can go to anylenght in order to get it unlocked

this makes me scared so much
MAL:
Send me a picture. In fact I need a picture of you and the box.
LAD:
ok dad i willl do that

and can you see my pics on here now too ..?
MAL:
I don't have a webcam, like I said.
LAD:
yes sir and i will go around in few minutes time to make this pics up to you

for i a scared for here in africa there are a lot of assasination just because of money
MAL:
See to it.
LAD:
and not 10milion dollars ok

sir how i wish youhave a yahoo id now

just addme so that we can chat from there as i will on the cam for youto see me live now
MAL:
Of course I have a yahoo ID, dumbass - how could we be chatting if I don't?
LAD:
i mean the one that i can on my webcam on for you to see me now
MAL:
[snip]
LAD:
here the webcam gotfaded sir
MAL:
Email the pictures to me.
LAD:
that is y mail i can invite youto view mywebcam on here it looks faded and if i click it got no ifect
MAL:
Stop yammering and do as you said you would.
LAD:
ok sir i will

and i will send it your e mail in few minutes time so that we can get the maching to cut the metal and have it this money being send to you from here ok
MAL:
First things first!
LAD:
ok sir

i will make that for i am not free having this funds with me ok anything can happen because people knows in the camp that i move around with this box alot
MAL:
How the hell do you carry it?
LAD:
sir i carry it on my head for it is a little bit old

and i have to make sure it is being properly take care of

when i snap the pics you will see it ok

i dont just want you to delay in sending to me the 750 so that i can get the metal cuting maching to have it unlocked then we can have an access to it ok

let me go and get that done now ok
MAL:
Just do it.
LAD:
it is now 1am friday here in accra ghana and i am so scared but i will make sure i got the pics send to youok
MAL:
No excuses!
LAD:
yes nbo excusses believe me ok

dad

everywere id dark outside

and i am scared to go outwith this box
MAL:
So do it when it's daylight.
LAD:
ok thanks i will

and i can still see if i can get it done just scared for this money is much and the hour is late

if you check on google now it is 1:17am here now in ghana

west africa
MAL:
I'll take your word for it.
LAD:
thanks and i will always make sure younever regret doing this ok

when you receive this fund automaticaly my life has changed

and i have reached to my dreams and desire

and what is the time right there now Dad
MAL:
1127. Why?
MAL:
HOLD IT! What did you call me?????
LAD:
for you got no were to go sir ..?
MAL:
You called me Dad... and you know not to do that!
LAD:
i am so sorry dad
MAL:
Don't call me that.
LAD:
ok sir

dad it cost a lot forme to get the pics last night but i will sort for it before the end of today ok
MAL:
DON'T CALL ME DAD!
LAD:
ok

i wount and tell me what youy want me to call you for you
MAL:
Call me Mr Reynolds
LAD:
ok sir

MR Reynolds

what is the time right there now please .?
MAL:
Why do you want to know that?
LAD:
just to know the time diffrencies so that i can tell you the hours time you will have my pics with the box send to your mail
MAL:
I'll see them when I see them. You're not gooing to turn into a pumpkin waiting,
LAD:
for it is friday 2pm here now in accra and yours..?
MAL:
I gave you my local time before - forgotten already?
LAD:
how sir
MAL:
I dunno, it just slipped your mind I guess!
LAD:
well it might be possible for i am hell scared handling this money over night it took me a lot of sleeples night just because of this too
MAL:
Maybe if you stopped lugging that gorram box around and found some safe stowage?
LAD:
that might be another problem because you know i dont know anyone in here

and i am so scared to make things alone with this huge money withe me
MAL:
Well get things done quickly and it might be less of a worry,

You said something about the end of the day your time. Does that mean something like 6 - 7 PM?
LAD:
yes mr reynolds
MAL:
So in 5 hours or less.
LAD:
yes sir

i will get it send to you for i need to get this box unlocked so that the money will be availab e to send to you for i a scared holding this money alone
MAL:
Do it and I'll await the pix with interest.
LAD:
thanks sir

i will do that so that we can have the metal cutting maching bought to unlock the box and have it send just that the metal is a yelowish england steel very strong Aug 06
MAL:
If you have the box cut open then it's adios to any hope of keeping the secret.

What is this machine anyway? I want a picture of that as well.
LAD:
okay sir i will make sure i get them send to you

but that will take me another stress and expensise fori beg in the street
MAL:
Don't whinge. I hate whingers.
LAD:
no sir i am telling you the fact
MAL:
Just do it.
LAD:
ok sir i will

may i have your number so that i can call you whenever i get the pics set ok ..?
MAL:
Sorry, no can do.

Just send them when you can.
LAD:
ok sir

i will
MAL:
Good.
LAD:
thanks i will make sure i get that done ok

and when i send it to your e mail i will let you know on here
MAL:
Shiny.
LAD:

8 Aug
4:08 AM

i am so sorry sir

for i was sick few days ago and i was not having a pills to us no strenght to go for the claim of the pics for i have already snap it

just have some focus keep on this box this was why and i have already got it painted in such a way that no one might notice it is a box just yellow on the face of the metal

[If you were expecting photographs... you don't know how lazy Lads usually are. I have no idea why the Lad brought in that bit about painting the box yellow.

That bit about malaria backfired more than a bit - I've rarely seem a faster backpedal from a Lad ]

LAD:

8 Aug
4:44 PM

how are you doing sir..?
MAL:
Oh hello there.

I wasn't expecting to hear from you at this time of day.
LAD:
i have tried as much as possible to get the pics send to you but there was no means of having this done because i was so sick last

because i have to wake up
MAL:
What happened?
LAD:
i was sick
MAL:
Sick how?
LAD:
yes sir

and i has tried to got the pics snapp
MAL:
I asked how you were sick. Yes sir is not an answer.
LAD:
but i have no money to g et it scan and send to you it was only the few money with me i paid before i can got the shoot

i got a maleria due to dirt enviroment right here in the refugee camp
MAL:
I'm not asking for a gorram motion picture with CGI.
LAD:
what do you mean by cgl sir..?
MAL:
Malaria? That's not good. You'll never get approval if you have that.

All I want are some pictures taken, nothing fancy.
LAD:
ye sir i know but i have got the snapp bu have no money to get the hard coppy

neither some funds to scan it and get it send to you
MAL:
Just have the pix downloaded into your computer. Hard copies are so last millennium!
LAD:
dad i got no computer i am in a nearby cyber cafe

i am realy seeing life so difficult right now even with the whole things now
MAL:
So what? Downloads should be easy enough to do no matter what.
LAD:
please let me have an asisitant from you in order to get this pics and scan it to you sir ..?

it was a camera that wased at a hiden studia
MAL:
A what?
LAD:
for i got the box painted yellow in order not to make them notcie how important it is

a studiao were pics are goten
MAL:
Why the hell did you go to a studio? You don't need a professional job! I didn't ask for that.
LAD:
no one will do that for me if not in the studiao because i have no money to pay for that of download and the internet stuffs too
MAL:
You just need a digicam and an empty room.
LAD:
yes dad but i got no digital camera and there is no one ot give it to me

to get a digital camera is so cost thebest is the way i have go about it sir
MAL:
WHAT DID YOU CALL ME?
LAD:
sir
MAL:
No, you called me dad, when I have told you not to!
LAD:
oh i am so sorry
MAL:
You just have to borrow a digicam.

A few pix, that's all.
LAD:
i dont know no onw here

i just need to get money and have the pics being scan and i dont have no money to do this please
MAL:
Let's assume that you get the pix. What happens after that?
LAD:
then you can send to me for me to have the metal cutting maching to cut the metal box and have the funds being send to you one after the other

that is all sir all i need is your uptimost surpport

you are the only one i have to help me out with this 10million dollars
MAL:
And after that?
LAD:
then you will receive the whole money
MAL:
And after that?
LAD:
we will have a plan on how i wil be right there with you as your soon
MAL:
Aha, that is the problem, you see.
LAD:
then you will have your share and after you will help me to invest the rest
MAL:
But you can't get out here. You'll be rejected.
LAD:
how sir..?

you mean i cant get out of ausralia as soon as i am right th there wit hyou
MAL:
No, it means that since you've got Malaria, you'll be rejected. It's a notifiable disease.
LAD:
oh no my malarai will get go before then ok

so sir how can we get this done now ok

i am now feeling better this was why i was able to come on here to chat with you
MAL:
Malaria is a chronic condition, You'll have it for years.
LAD:
no

it comes and go

i was just feverish

and it will go so soon
MAL:
When we were inoculated against Malaria we were briefed on the disease, and once you have it, you may have it all your life.
LAD:
i am not sure it was malaria

just feel so cold

i have not got maleria before

i feel so cold and was unable to wallk so i just think it was a maleria
MAL:
You said it was malaria, and I took your word for it.
LAD:
then i have myself a few relaxation this was why i was unable to come on here few days ago
MAL:
You'll need to get medical clearance.
LAD:
yes i said it was maleria because that was what i think it was but there is no reports from the hospital that told me i got malaria ever sincer i have being sick and i dont think not now

thou the camp is so dirty
MAL:
Well, do you or don't you have it?
LAD:
i dont have maleria

i have never got malerai before
MAL:
So what the hell is wrong with you then?
LAD:
just weak due ot the stress and change in enviroment

that is just all

for now i am feeling better this was why i was able to come online here to chat with you

for i have not got any pills as i have no money to do that either

sir how will you lets go about this so fast now too
MAL:
Holy shit on a shingle!
LAD:
how sir

i will be glad if you can just send to me the 750 dollars for me to get th emetal cutting machine then i can have my way on sending this money to you bit by bit ok
MAL:
I am not sending anything until I know what it's for. That's why I want to see the pix.
LAD:
but you know now i got no money to get thehard copy and also have it scan to send to you

please sir try and udnersyand you
MAL:
Then we're at an impasse.
LAD:
thou i have got the box being painted to yellowish
MAL:
That means nothing to me.
LAD:
but you should be helpfull with the pics orther wise it will just be a delay

sir need this metal cutting maching got at cost of 750 or better the pics at the cost of just 70 dollars
MAL:
Are you jerking my chain?
LAD:
i am just pleading to you sir

in odrer to make this fast i will get the pics with just 70 dollars and in here i am not having this money ok
MAL:
70 dollars for half a dozen snaps? If that!
LAD:
yes for just 5 snapps

and scanning too
MAL:
No scanning needed!

Just borrow a gorram digicam.
LAD:
from who

it cost just 70$ for the hard copy of this pics and also scanning

please sir help me out ok

GOD will alway reward you as regards to this ok
MAL:
If you're going to beg and whine and moan, then you will never be able to call yourself my son.

And I don't believe in God anyway.
LAD:
sir it is just 70$ so that this pics can be get and send to you ok
MAL:
STOP WHINING!!!!!!!!
LAD:
no sir

never sit i will not whine you
MAL:
Then do what you have to and get those pix.
LAD:
all you need is to just get this 70 send to me by western union then i can have it in here ot pay for the hard copy of the pics
MAL:
You don't need to get hard copies. GET HOLD OF A FUCKING DIGICAM!
LAD:
ok tell me were i will get this digital camera of a thing please
MAL:
How should I know that?
LAD:
because you definately knows that i dont have this kind of money please help me wiht juist 70 dolars so that things can work out as fast as possible

please
MAL:
I've spoken and that's it.
LAD:
dad 70$ is not a much money please
MAL:
O RLY? So how come you have to beg for such a pittance?
LAD:
i have non one in my life just you sir when i get this 70$ then i will have my pics and the hard copy scan to you so that we can have the metal cutting machine
MAL:
I have no reason to believe in you and without something tangible, I never will.
LAD:
i know sir

but it is just 70 dollars needed now

you will have all this back after we are done with the deal ok

just use that to assit me already youknow i have no family or relatives
MAL:
Actually I don't know anything for sure about you.
LAD:
i have told you

this was why i want you to send this 70 dollars to me today

so that i can have the pics hard copy and get them send to you please sir
MAL:
DON'T BEG! THAT IS DEGRADING!

I don't give money to beggars or faceless people.
LAD:
i am not beggin sir

i am appealng to you to please got to understand what is really happening now
MAL:
Ball is in your court. Get what I want or you can lug that box around forever.
LAD:
stop sir

please take your time and understand me sir

i need some money to get the pics that is all

just 70 dollars ok
MAL:
You know what to do. Just do it/
LAD:
sir i ned thi 70 to get the pics and get it scan to be send to you do you understand that please .?
MAL:
You know what to do. Just do it.
LAD:
and how
MAL:
That is up to you.
LAD:
i need to get the pics sir ..?
MAL:
Yep.
LAD:
but i need just 70 dollars to get it and you know right here i have no one i know no one

just assist with this please
MAL:
No, you have to solve this problem yourself. When I was your age, I didn't grovel the way you do.
LAD:
but you know i got no one to help

i am in some ones lese country now
MAL:
Use some initiative.
LAD:
i will try ok

[Once again, disappointment on the photo-front]

LAD:

14 August
4.32 PM

are you ther

i have tried to get the pics
MAL:
I am now.
LAD:
oh

sir i have being waiting on you to come on here and talk to me
MAL:
I tried yesterday, but you didn't answer.
LAD:
sir i have tried the whole of my strenghty to get some money to snapp my pics together with a sonsingment box
MAL:
And?
LAD:
right now we have to make sure we get the metal cutting machine bought once and for all
MAL:
No, you have your stuff to do.
LAD:
sir you know that i have no much with me to get this being bought
MAL:
You have to get it.
LAD:
sir what is it that i have to get again all we need is to make sure tha this is done immediately
MAL:
The photographs.
LAD:
it cost money sir

and i dont have it with me
MAL:
Then get it.
LAD:
help with this sir
MAL:
You've had several days to do something. Why haven't you?
LAD:
there was no way for me to get the funds sir

it is not that much to have a pics
LAD:
but in here not easy to get the money please
MAL:
You have to get them before any money gets sent. That's my rule.
LAD:
ok
MAL:
So get it done.
LAD:
ok sir

[Two weeks pass...]

LAD:

01 Sep 2011
9:18 PM

hello
MAL:
Hi.
LAD:
how are you doing today sir..?
MAL:
Fine.
LAD:
i have never heard from you ever since then captain ..?
MAL:
You stopped writing me. I assumed that all was done and dusted with you.
LAD:
never
MAL:
So why did you stop?
LAD:
because i have no means to get things done mysel

self
MAL:
So you just did nothing.
LAD:
how sir

i have tried al my best
MAL:
O RLY? What did you do?
LAD:
i need some one to help me with the pics
MAL:
You're hopeless.
LAD:
sir there is no one

i need to have the pics first
MAL:
I know that!
LAD:
so captain help me with that ok
MAL:
You have taken over two weeks to achieve precisely nothing and to fail in something very basic.
LAD:
it wasnt my fault sir
MAL:
O RLY?

Just how did you try to get it done?
LAD:
i have sold my wristwatch

but used the money for feeding since it was not completed
MAL:
What wasn't completed?
LAD:
the money to get the pics
MAL:
You don't need that much,
LAD:
captain it is cost in here

i know what you mean but i need pics for you to see who i am for real with the consingment box
MAL:
It can't cost that much.
LAD:
why do you think that sir.?
MAL:
Cost of living and all that.
LAD:
yes but i sold my wristwatch
MAL:
SO?
LAD:
and used the money to fee for it is not complete for the pics
MAL:
How much did you get for it?
LAD:
i sold my wristwatch 25$

and the pics cost 75$
MAL:
Huh - there's a guy who takes pix at Uluru - four pix for ten bucks, download straight to iphones and laptops.
LAD:
and were is uluru
MAL:
It's the main tourist attraction here.
LAD:
oh i see
MAL:
So if someone is charging 70 bucks, you are being ripped off!
LAD:
this is africa captain
MAL:
Meaning what!
LAD:
things are f diffrent
MAL:
Sorry, what?
LAD:
i just need to complete this money an get the pics

i will pay you back when we are done wit this deal ok
MAL:
What do you mean, "this is africa"?
LAD:
<ding>
MAL:
I asked you a question!
LAD:
and what i said

was i need at least 5o dollars to complete this so that i can get the pics
MAL:
I don't get it.
LAD:
i mean i need $50 dollars to complete the money needed for me to get the pics please
MAL:
That is just bollixed.
LAD:
never captain i just trust in you

and i know you can help me out with this

<ding>
MAL:
I don't want to coddle some no-hoper.
LAD:
why sir

just an assitant from you ok
MAL:
You don't need my help for such a small thing!
LAD:
i do sir i have no one else to help me

it is just this for me to get the pics

please ok

MAL:
I told you what to do, so do it.
LAD:
abnd what is that
MAL:
DON'T TRY TO BULLSHIT ME!
LAD:
the pics need some money before i can get it sir and i only have $25 dollars with me need just 50$ to complete the 75$
MAL:
Why should you need $75? And if you say, "This is Africa" it's over!
LAD:
it is for me to get the picturesd

pictured
MAL:
It should not cost even a fraction of that!
LAD:
it is cost for that is how it is captain
MAL:
You are letting yourself get ripped off, or you're bullshitting me?
LAD:
no sir

just dont know how to go about the balance of 50 dollas that is left
MAL:
Why do you need that money for a few digicam pix?
LAD:
because they dont use digicam here digicam is the most cost

they use the analog snap photos
MAL:
DON'T BULLSHIT ME!
LAD:
then they wash the hard copy out then i have acces to it
MAL:
Forget it.
LAD:
how captain
MAL:
Because you are not being serious.
LAD:
i a captain i am so swerious just cant go stealing in order to get this $50
MAL:
Why not? Whatever it takes.
LAD:
OK I WILL DO MY BEST CAPTAIN TO GET THE BALANCE OK
MAL:
Just do it.
LAD:
ok sir i will
MAL:
Don't let me down!
LAD:
ok sdir i wount
LAD:

10 Sep 2011
4:35 AM

<ding>

are you there now mu dear

good day sir
MAL:
Hello.
LAD:
how are you doing sir
MAL:
Fine.
LAD:
how is life and you are no more on here sir
MAL:
Neither are you.
LAD:
oh no sir

i have told you it is so cost for me to be right on here always

as you have know my present situation already
MAL:
O RLY?
LAD:
ye sir
MAL:
Why should I help you when there are thousands in need who have nothing?
LAD:
how do you mean sir,..?
MAL:
What do you think that I mean?
LAD:
i dont undersand you sir you know i am a small boy
MAL:
How old are you?
LAD:
sir i have already told you this

i am 21years old
MAL:
Then you are a grown man. Don't bullshit me.
LAD:
no sir
MAL:
So don't do it then!

[I heard nothing more for over four months, and then...]

LAD:

16 Jan
10:49 PM

Are you there sir?
LAD:

18 Jan
11:38 PM

Are you there sir

How are you doing today sir?
LAD:

30 Jan
8:43 PM

Are you there?

Hi
MAL:
Hello.
LAD:
How are you doing today?
MAL:
Fine.

You haven't contacted me for a while.
LAD:
Yes
MAL:
Why?
LAD:
And can you still remember me?
MAL:
You're that guy with a box of money who swore he'd send me pix of the box but didn't.
LAD:
I am now in the united kingdom

Uk
MAL:
How the Sam Frick did that happen?
LAD:
Yes a man from london has finaly helped me
LAD:
Now i am in London
LAD:
But not yet meet the man
MAL:
How did you manage that? I can make some guesses.
LAD:
For the past 2 weeks
MAL:
Sorry, what?
LAD:
Yes make some and lets see
LAD:
He was once a farmer in Manchester Uk
MAL:
I don't understand. Care to explain?
LAD:
I am telling you about the man that helped me
LAD:
Out with my box
LAD:
Of 10million pounds that i told you about
MAL:
You didn't tell me much of anything.
LAD:
Yes because i pleaded for you to please helped me but to no avail

You never trusted in me
MAL:
You gave me no reason to. You made promises and broke them. That I can't ever forgive.
LAD:
That wasnt my fault
MAL:
O RLY?

How so?

How was it not your fault that you broke your word?

Or don't you have any excuses?
LAD:
You ignore me when you insisted on me with the little money needed

For me to get the pics done

All because you just dont wanna help me

The farmer that helped me was a pastor

Here in London
MAL:
You gave me no reason to believe in you.

For all I knew (and know) you could be some kind of con artist.
LAD:
Yea because you dont trust in me and you not ready to help me

Never will i lie
MAL:
That could be a lie in itself.

Honestly, how could I believe you without proof?
LAD:
What do you mean?

Well it is now a past tence
MAL:
And you could still be lying.

In the present tense.
LAD:
That is not an issue now it is late

Just learn how to give a bussines a trial
MAL:
What's that supposed to mean?
LAD:
Lol

Am not intrested in that anylonger just came on and i saw you online
MAL:
Well, you go off and spout your bullshit something, you lying little puke.'
LAD:
That is no
MAL:
I think that you've been lying from the git-go, asshole.
LAD:
That is non of my bussines
MAL:
None of your business that you've been lying? What colour is the sky in your world?
LAD:
Just telling you for the benefit of next time

[But there was no next time.]


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