PLEASE DON'T CALL ME AN IDIOT

... in which retiree Lou's crooked attorney battles with a scammer to steal Lou's savings...

This correspondence demonstrates classic techniques such as the imaginary alter ego with a dishonest proposal, insulting a scammer's colleague, the unopenable attachment, the imaginary plane ticket, the imaginary financial certificate, and some good old-fashioned time-wasting. Lou's commentary in blue. Some rough language, as scammers begin to snap.

Lou S1ndor's many appearances include
SOMEONE'S LIFE IS ON THE LINE HERE
YOU ARE NOTING BUT A FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
SLAM DUNK, and
THE BATTLE FOR THE BANK


Bad guys:
Michael Richard - Diplomat (played by 3 different lads over the course of the bait)
Garry Millard, Diplomat (played by one of the "Michael" lads)

The good guys
Lou S1nd0r - filthy rich retiree living in solitude on Molokai
Marty McS0rley, Esq. - Attorney and retired professional hockey player. Not a nice person. Abusive and greedy.


You'll get a laugh out of this one. It seemed to go on forever and get stranger every day. Enjoy.

The evil attorney has returned and his mood is most foul. 7-figure money amounts, champagne for everyone in the bar at Accra's Villa Monticello, a gas station....this one goes to some strange places.

It's really long, so go get a beer. Better yet, get two. And a tequila. And a lime.


DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

The not-so-creative opening salvo, one of a zillion in my catcher (which is also my main baiting account; it amazes me how this address gets traded around in lad-land and ALL I use it for is pounding them into jelly.):

Paragraphs inserted for readability - there weren't any. Some stock scamalicious elements highlighted.

ATTENTION:
I AM DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD
I WORK AS A SENIOR DIPLOMAT OF THE UNITED NATIONS, AND COLLABORATION WITH TOP FIRMS AND GOVERNMENTS OF VARIOUS COUNTRIES.

AS WE HAVE EARNED A NAME AS A SERVICE WHOSE HALLMARKS IN RELIABILITY AND CONFIDENTIALITY ARE REVERED A BENEFACTOR WHOSE IDENTITY CAN NOT DISCLOSED BECAUSE OF THE NON CIRCUMVENTION AND NON DISCLOSURE AGREEMENT THAT WAS SIGNED WITH THE SAID BENEFACTOR WHEN YOUR CONSIGNMENT BOXES WORTH OF VALUED AND STATED CLEARLY THAT YOU SHOULD ONLY BE CONTACTED WHEN THE TIME SIGNED FOR IT TO BE IN OUR CARE ELAPSES AND THE TIME HAS ALREADY ELAPSED THAT IS WHY YOU ARE BEING CONTACTED.

THE NON CIRCUMVENTION AND THE NON DISCLOSURE AGREEMENT SIGNED WITH THE BENEFACTOR MANDATES US TO FULLY DIVULGE AND DISCLOSE THE BENEFACTOR'S IDENTITY AFTER THE BENEFICIARY HAS RECEIVED THE FUNDS.

IN THIS REGARDS THE TWO CONSIGNMENT BOXES WORTH $22.5MILLION USD WHICH HAS BEEN APPROVED FROM THE OFFICE OF THE UNITED NATIONS OFFICE TO PROCEED WITH THE DELIVERY, WHICH IS ALREADY PENDING TO COMMENCE DELIVERY TO YOUR ADDRESS TODAY.

AM CURRENTLY AT THE AIRPORT HERE IN ORLANDO FLORIDA USA WITH THE BOXES AND DELIVERY FILE AND DOCUMENTS. PLEASE BELOW MY VALID PASSPORT IDENTIFICATION. AND BEFORE WE CAN PROCEED, WE NEED TO OBTAIN AN AUTHORIZATION FIRST FROM THE UNITED NATIONS OFFICE WHICH IS NEEDED FOR DELIVERY DECLARATION BY THE CUSTOMS BEFORE THE AUTHORITY CAN RELEASED THE BOXES FOR DELIVERY TO COMMENCE TODAY.

KINDLY GET BACK TO ME WITH YOUR DIRECT PHONE NUMBER, VALID ID AND DELIVERY ADDRESS SO THAT THE DELIVERY PROCEDURE CAN COMMENCE WITHOUT DELAY SO THAT I CAN MAKE THE DELIVERY ONCE AND FOR ALL.

PLEASE RESPOND TO MY EMAILS SO THAT THE DECLEARANCE VERIFICATION OF YOU CONSIGNMENT CAN BE MADE BY THE UN AUTHORITY HERE TODAY , TO COMMENCE DELIVERY SWIFTLY.

REGARDS

LOU S1ND0R

(Just a straight bait to snag a pig or two, or so I thought.)

Did this go to the right person?

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello sir,

I got your email and please get back to me soon with your resident address.

Regards.
Sent from my iPhone

LOU S1ND0R

My address is PO Box 48576, Kaunakakai, Molokai, Hawaii 96748

(Not a real address, of course.)

Exactly what's going on here?

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello,

I got your email and your resident address where the delivery of your two trunk boxes will be delivered to in the 2 hours from now but before I can do that within the next hour I will need to get the boxes cleared from custom. And to get them cleared to obtain the custom clearance report it going to cost about $750 usd so send the money right now to this receiver name below right now and get back to me with the info so I can effect the delivery straight away.

Receiver: Joe A. ANONYMIZED
Country: Novi Michigan USA

innocent third party suckered by 'check cashing' format? or crook working with scammers, in whom postal fraud inspectors take an interest?

Send the money right now and get back to me as soon as possible so we can get the delivery done as soon as possible. Get back to me soon.

Regards

LOU S1ND0R
2 hours? How is that possible? Where are these boxes that you're talking about?
DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello,

I got your email an the way it can be possible it that I will be making use of flight to the nearest airport to your resident a right now am currently in Orlando in Florida with the boxes. So get the payment done and get back to me as soon as possible with the info so the delivery can be done soon.

Regards

LOU S1ND0R
Okay, how do I do that?
DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello,

I got your email and you send the money right now using money gram to this receiver name below.

Receiver: Joe A. ANONYMIZED
Country: Novi Michigan USA

Send the money right now and get back to me as soon as possible with the info so u can get the delivery done soon.

Regards

LOU S1ND0R
I don't think we have money gram here, but I will check
DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello,

I got your email an if you don't see money gram to send the money send the money using western union. And get back to me as soon as possible with the info so the delivery can be done soon.

Regards

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello,

Am still waiting for you to send the money and get back to me with the info so we can get the delivery done as soon as possible. Get back to me soon.

Regards

LOU S1ND0R

I'm sorry, but western union doesn't have anything here. I also checked RIA and they don't service this area. It's really small so I'm not surprised.

When I bought my tractor I sent the money right from my bank account to the dealer's bank account. Would that work?

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

HELLO SIR,

I GOT YOUR EMAIL AND HIS THERE NO WESTERN UNION OR MONEY GRAM IN YOUR AREA SO YOU SEND THE MONEY USING ANY OF THEM OF RIA TRANSFER. GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE TO INFORM ME WHICH OF THEM IS RIGHT THERE SO YOU CAN SEND THE MONEY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO I CAN GET THE DELIVERY DONE SOON.

REGARDS

(Note the account name and writing style have shifted. This was VERY late at night in Accra and it appears I've been handed off to a second lad. This one seems to be a little more dense than the first, but fear not, he'll be back.)

LOU S1ND0R
Did you not read my message? I told you that RIA doesn't service this area.
DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello,

I got your email and I will send the bank account number and details you will be needing right now to get the funds transfer into the bank account right now so we can get the payment done and get the delivery done.

Regards

(As promised, back to lad #1. They're easy to tell apart, that's for sure. Let the caps lock key be your guide.)

LOU S1ND0R
Okay, I may be able to get to the bank today if it's soon
DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

HELLO SIR,

HERE IS THE BANK DETAILS TO SEND THE MONEY RIGHT NOW BELOW.

ACCOUNT NUMBER:XXXXXXXXX
ACCOUNT NAME: JOE A ANONYMIZED
ROUTING NUMBER: XXXXXXXXXXXXX
BANK NAME: JPMORGAN CHASE BANK,N A
BANK ADDRESS: 33200 WEST 12 MILE ROAD,FARMINGTONHILL ML 48334 USA.

NEAR KENDALLWOODSHOPPING CENTER.

SO GO AND SEND THE MONEY RIGHT NOW TO THIS BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER AND GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE WITH THE TRANSFER SLIP SO WE CAN GET THE PAYMENT DONE AND GET THE DELIVERY DONE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. GET BACK TO ME SOON. I ALSO ATTAHED THE BANK SLIP SO YOU CAN SEE ANYTHING YOU WILL BE NEEDING TO GET THE MONEY TRANSFER INTO THE ACCOUNT.

REGARDS

Chase account number.jpg

(A sadly hacked together "deposit" slip. Bye-bye bank account.)

LOU S1ND0R
Is this in the US? There's no state "ML"
DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello,

I got your email and the bank is in USA and the state is Michigan. Any other thing let me know. Get back to me as soon as possible with the transfer slip so the delivery can be done as soon as possible. Get back to me soon.

Regards

LOU S1ND0R
Oh, okay. I'll try to get it done today. The bank is on the other side of Molokai, but I'll see if I can make it before it closes
DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello,

I got your email and send the money soon and get back to me as soon as possible with the transfer slip so the delivery can be done soon.

Regards

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

HELLO SIR,

AM STILL WAITING FOR YOU TO GET THE FUNDS WIRED IN THE ACCOUNT I GAVE TO YOU AND LET ME KNOW AS SOON AS THE TRANSFER IS MADE AND GTE BACK TO ME WITH THE WIRED SLIP SO WE CAN GET THE DELIVERY DONE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. GET BACK TO ME SOON.

REGARDS

LOU S1ND0R
I wasn't able to get to the bank before it closed last night, it's kind of far from here. I can do it this morning
DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

HELLO,

I GOT YOUR EMAIL AND GO AND DO IT RIGHT NOW AND GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE WITH THE WIRED SLIP SO THE DELIVERY CAN BE DONE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. GET BACK TO ME SOON WITH THE WIRED RECEIPT. PLEASE KINDLY GTE BACK TO ME WITH YOUR NUMBER AS WELL RIGHT NOW AND ALSO INFORM ME HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE YOU TO WIRED THE MONEY AND GET BACK TO ME WITH THE RECEIPT AND HOW LONG WILL IT TAKE TO REFLECT IN THE ACCOUNT. GTE BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

REGARDS

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

HELLO,

AM STILL WAITJNG FOR YOU TO INFORM ME THAT YOU HAVE MADE THE WIRED TRANSFER AND GET BACK TO ME WITH THE RECEIPT SO I CAN GET THE DELIVERY DONE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE TO INFORM ME IF YOU HAVE BEEN ABLE TO MADE THE TRANSFER TO THE ACCOUNT I GAVE YOU.GET BACK TO ME SOON.

REGARDS

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello,

Am still waiting for you to get back to me with update if you where able to make the transfer. Get back to me as soon as possible.

Regards

(Yeah, I've been taking my sweet time. Making them squirm is just too darn fun.)

LOU S1ND0R
I did it yesterday, have you received the money yet?
DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello,

Send me the receipt or the wired slip right now so I can show it to the authority as evidence that the money was send.

Regards

LOU S1ND0R

I'll have to find someone with a scanner so I'll get back to you.

(With the "lad ping-pong" going on and the potential for confusion, I decided it was time for Marty to dive in for another attempt at lad torture. Surprisingly, it works EVERY time. Lads really are amazingly predictable, even in bizarre and extreme situations.)

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

to me

Hello,

I got your email and and I wait to hear from you soon.

Regards

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello,

Am still waiting for you to send me the receipt or a slip of the wired money. Please do get back to me soon.

Regards

(Well, it's not like I was gonna hurry or anything.)

LOU S1ND0R

I was able to scan it at my attorney's office. Here it is

BankReceipt.gz

(This is a file that balloons to several GB when opened. Handy little toy.)

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello,

I was unable to view it please resend it again so I can view it to see and then send it to the authority. Get back to me soon.

Regards

Sent from my iPhone

(On his iPhone? I bet THAT was interesting.)

LOU S1ND0R

Okay, here it is again.

My attorney said it was compressed or zipped or something like that.

LOU S1ND0R

Ooops, forgot to attach it

BankReceipt.gz

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

HELLO,

I GOT YOUR EMAIL AND SAME THING ALSO HAPPENED, IT CAN NOT BE VIEW PLEASE RESCAN AND SEND IT RIGHT NOW TO ME SOON. GET BACK TO ME SOON. OR IF YOU CAN SNAP IT AND SEND IT OVER TO ME DO THAT AND GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

REGARDS

LOU S1ND0R

That's odd. I'll go back to my attorney and see if he can figure it out.

This is all getting very exciting!

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

HELLO,

I GOT YOUR EMAIL AND GO AND DO THAT SOON AND GTE BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.SO WE CAN BE SURE THE MONEY WAS TRANSFER INTO THE ACCOUNT AND GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

REGARDS

LOU S1ND0R
Did your hear from Marty, my attorney?
DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello,

I got an email from you attorney but the receipt was not send so try and send the receipt as soon as possible.

Regards

LOU S1ND0R
Did you reply to him? I told him to be really cautious about all this. It's a lot of money
DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello,

Yes I did reply to him so you asked him to send me the receipt right now as soon as possible.

Regards

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Lou,

Please do asked your attorney to send me the receipt soon so the delivery can be done as soon as possible. Get back to me soon.

Regards

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Lou,

Please tell your attorney to get back to me soon with the receipt as soon as possible so the delivery can be done as soon as possible.

Regards

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

HELLO SIR,

RIGHT NOW THE DELIVERY WILL BE MADE SOON BUT RIGHT NOW THE ALOHA AIR CARGO ARE DEMANDING FOR $12,000 FOR LARGE ITEM HANDING FEE. SO WE WILL NEED TO GET THE PAYMENT DONE RIGHT NOW SO THEY CAN LET ME GO AND GET THE DELIVERY DONE TO YOU. ALSO YOU CAN CONFIRM FROM YOUR ATTORNEY ABOUT THIS Y=FOR YOU TO KNOW WHAT AM TELLING YOU IS THE TRUTH. SO WHAT YOU WILL DO IS THAT YOU WILL GIVE THE MONEY TO YOUR ATTORNEY AND HE WILL SEND THE MONEY OVER TO ME SO THE DELIVERY CAN BE DONE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

REGARDS

(Ah, the first demand for the big bucks. I love it when a plan comes together.)

LOU S1ND0R

$12000? Those crooks. They're a small player around here and got bought by the same asshole that bought Island Air. Rich idiot with more money than brains.

(The airline really was sold, to Larry Ellison. He also bought the island of Lanai. And he really is an a-hole.)

I'll go see Marty in the morning and see if there's a way around this crap. Thanks for the heads up.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

HELLO LOU,

I GOT YOUR EMAIL AND PLEASE DO TALK TO YOUR ATTORNEY SOON AND GET BACK TO ME. WHY DON'T YOU WRITE HIM AN EMAIL NOW CONSIGNING THE ISSUE. PLEASE DO TRY AND GET THE PAYMENT DONE SOON SO WE CAN GET THE DELIVERY DONE. DON'T FORGET AS I SAID HAND OVER THE MONEY TO YOUR ATTORNEY SO HE CAN SEND IT OVER TO ME SO THE DELIVERY CAN BE DONE.

REGARDS

LOU S1ND0R

I already sent him a message and he said he'll look into it.

I will update you in the morning.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

HELLO LOU,

I GOT YOUR EMAIL AND I WILL FOR YOUR UPDATE IN THE MORNING SO THE DELIVERY CAN BE DONE IN THE MORNING. HOPE TO READ FROM YOU EARLY IN THE MORNING.

REGARDS

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Lou,

Have you been able to cone up with the money. Get back to me as soon as possible so we can get the payment done and get the delivery done. Get back to me soon.

Regards

LOU S1ND0R
Yes, I just got back from his office. Did you hear from him?
DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Lou,

I have not heard from him. Have you given the money to him. Get back to me to let me know.

Regards

LOU S1ND0R
I expect that you'll hear from him. I'm dropping a check off to him later today
DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Lou,

Have you given the money to your attorney yet. Get back to me soon.

Regards

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Lou,

I just just arrive at honolulu and there is a customs fee right here in Honolulu before the boxes can be delivered to you finally at your door step. It is a percentage charge of .001 equal to $22,500. So kindly confirm this from your attorney and get the money to him and he will send it over to me. Get back to me soon so the payment can be done and get the delivery done as soon as possible. Get back to me soon.

Regards

(Things sure are starting to get expensive, aren't they? I suspect something evil is afoot.)

LOU S1ND0R

I sure feel like my government has it's goddamn hand in my wallet. Unbelievable.

I'll go see Marty today so we can figure this out. By the time this done it sounds like the US will have more money than me!

I'll get back to you, enjoy honolulu.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Lou,

I got your email and I wait to hear from you soon if the payment will be done by Monday. Don't give the money to your attorney or less I asked you to do so and I hope you get me. Get back to me soon.

Regards

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Lou,

Good morning to you and please do change the password of your email and don't give the money to your attorney and you don't let him know about this. Also if you make the transfer by tomorrow to the account I gave to you don't scan the receipt in your attorney office go else where to scan and send it over to me. Also send your number to me so that I can call you when am close to your door step. This I how u want to help you. Wired $15,000 by tomorrow to the account I gave you and and I will help you with the balance $10,000 to get the payment done so I can get the delivery done. Get back to me as soon as possible.

Regards

(The double-cross that they ALWAYS try. Like I said...predictable.)

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

HELLO LOU,

AM STILL WAITING FOR YOU TO GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE TO INFORM ME IF YOU ARE GOING TO GET THE MONEY WIRED BY TOMORROW SO I CAN ASSIST YOU WITH THE BALANCE TO GET THE PAYMENT DONE SO I CAN GET THE DELIVERY DONE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. GET BACK TO ME SOON.

REGARDS

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

HELLO SIR,

HERE IS THE BANK DETAILS TO SEND THE MONEY RIGHT NOW BELOW.

(The same account as before, darn it.)

AND THE BANK IS IN USA REMEMBER

SO GO AND SEND THE MONEY RIGHT NOW TO THIS BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER AND GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE WITH THE TRANSFER SLIP SO WE CAN GET THE PAYMENT DONE AND GET THE DELIVERY DONE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. GET BACK TO ME SOON. I ALSO ATTACHED THE BANK SLIP SO YOU CAN SEE ANYTHING YOU WILL BE NEEDING TO GET THE MONEY TRANSFER INTO THE ACCOUNT.

REGARDS

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

HELLO LOU,

AM STILL WAITING FOR YOU TO GET BACK TO ME SOON. SO YOU PLEASE KINDLY GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

REGARDS

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

HELLO LOU,

GOOD MORNING TO YOU AND IN HOPE YOU GET MY EMAILS I SEND YOU DURING THE WEEKEND AND PLEASE GET BACK TO ME SOON TO INFORM ME IF YOU WILL BE MAKING THE TRANSFER TODAY SO WE CAN GET THE DELIVERY DONE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. GET BACK TO ME SOON SO THE DELIVERY CAN BE DONE BEFORE NOON.

REGARDS

LOU S1ND0R

Micheal,

I haven't heard from you, but I suppose that may be because of the storms and the power outage. We did 't have internet service for a lot of the weekend.

I got together with Marty and he mentioned that there would be some sort of tax that I'd have to pay. Do you know how much that will be?

All of these payments are getting ridiculous, but that's the government for you. Goddamn crooks.

(Haven't heard from him? But what about all those messages? Whatever could be going on?)

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

HELLO LOU,

I GOT YOUR EMAIL AN D THE AMOUNT YOU ARE TO PAY FOR THE TAX IS GOING TO COST YOU ABOUT $450,000 SO YOU GET THE MONEY AND GIVE IT TO YOUR ATTORNEY AND GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS YOU GIVE HIM THE MONEY SO WE CAN GET THE PAYMENT DONE SO I CAN PROCEED WITH THE DELIVERY. GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

REGARDS

(Now THAT is a bold lad. Someone must certainly be pulling his strings. That's a long, long way from the "send me $39" crap.)

LOU S1ND0R
Unbelievable. Marty told me it was going to be a huge tax because of the millions of dollars involved, but that's goddamn robbery. I'll go talk to him this morning.
DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello sir,

Am still in Honolulu and please do get the money to him soon and get back to me so the delivery can be done.

Regards

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Lou,

So please telling if you are going to get the money to Marty today. Get back to me soon.

Regards

LOU S1ND0R
Yes, I'll see him today. Don't get all worried, these old bones aren't as fast as they used to be.
DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

HELLO LOU,

HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY. HAS YOUR ATTORNEY INFORM YOU OF THE UP COMING TAX THAT WILL NEEDED TO BE PAID SO WE CAN GET THE DELIVERY DONE. GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

REGARDS

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Lou,

Your attorney was able to negotiate with IRS and they reduce the tax by 75%. So instead of the 12% of tax you are to pay it was reduce to 4% so the total payment you are to make is $900,000. You can get the money right now and give it to your attorney [??] and you can also confirm this from your attorney. Get the money to your attorney soon and get back to me as soon as possible to inform me so I can get the delivery done as soon as possible. Get back to me soon.

Regards

(Wow. How could this possibly be getting so expensive?)

LOU S1ND0R

Are you serious? Am I funding the whole goddamn government myself? I know it's not the normal rate, but holy shit.

I suppose I should be satisfied. Capital Gains Tax would be 28% and that would be ridiculous. I'll go talk to Marty and see if this can be taken out of the payment after I get it. I'd hate to have to write a check for $900000.

What a bunch of goddamn crooks.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

HELLO LOU,

I GOT YOUR EMAIL AND PLEASE GET TO MARTY SOON AND GET THE MONEY TO HIM AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO WE CAN GET THE DELIVERY DONE SOON. GET BACK TO ME SOON TO INFORM ME IF YOU HAVE GET THE MONEY TO MARTY.

REGARDS

LOU S1ND0R

Okay, what's the story? Marty has all the money and you're still in Honolulu?

When are you coming to Molokai?

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Lou,

I got your email and I will be coming to Molokai soon. So send me your number so I can call you as soon as I get to Molokai. Get back to me soon.

Regards

LOU S1ND0R
As I've told you, I don't have a phone over here. Just let me know when you're arriving and I'll meet you. There aren't that many flights from Honolulu so just give me the airline and flight number.
DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Lou,

Right now am set to board my flight but am been hold here for yellow tag for the boxes and it going to cost me about $1200 usd so get back to me soon to inform me if you can make the payment right now so I can give you the bank details and account number so you can make the payment right now. Get back to me as soon as possible so we canals the payment and get the delivery done soon.

Regards

(After all this, he tries to snake $1200...wow.)

LOU S1ND0R

More money? Shit, by the time we get through with this, we'll have used up everything in the goddamn boxes?

I'll go check in with Marty and see what this is all about. I assume you've been in touch with him and he knows about this, right?

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Lou,

I got your email and if you inform Marty about this I think it will only get things more worst so I will advise you not to talk to Marty about this. So send the money to the account am going to give to you in my next mail. Get back to me as soon as you get this mail. Let leave Marty aside of this and see if something different might happen. Get back to me as soon as you receive this email.

Regards

(Another attempt at a double-cross, too bad Lou never saw it. Something odd seems to be affecting his email account.)

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Lou,

(Yeah, he sent the same account again.)

The bank is in USA and the state is Michigan.

Regards

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Lou,

I got your email and if you inform Marty about this I think it will only get things more worst so I will advise you not to talk to Marty about this. So send the money to the account am going to give to you in my next mail. Get back to me as soon as you get this mail. Let leave Marty aside of this and see if something different might happen. Get back to me as soon as you receive this email.

Regards

(He's starting to run in circles a little bit now, still trying for the little payday while big numbers are flying around.)

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Lou,

(Yup, same account. He's persistent, I'll give him that.)

The bank is in USA and the state is Michigan.

Regards

LOU S1ND0R

Well, what the fuck?

Where are you? I can't find Marty and I haven't heard anything from you in days.

What's going on and where are the boxes?

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Lou,

I have been trying to write to you to inform you that your attorney is criminal and all the message I have been sending you he don't let them get to you so change your password to your email right now and try and get the money transfer into the account am going to give to you in my next email. Get back to me as soon as you get this email.

Regards

(The attorney is a criminal? How could that be? And why aren't these messages getting to Lou?)

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Lou,

(The account messages really are getting old at this point.)

The bank is in USA and the state is Michigan.

Regards

DIPLOMAT GARRY MILLARD

(And then, out of the blue...)

THE UNITED NATIONS OFFICE TO PROCEED WITH THE DELIVERY, WHICH IS ALREADY PENDING TO COMMENCE DELIVERY TO YOUR ADDRESS TODAY. AM CURRENTLY AT THE AIRPORT HERE IN LINCOLN MUNICIPAL AIRPORT NEBRASKA USA WITH THE BOXES AND DELIVERY FILE AND DOCUMENTS. PLEASE BELOW MY VALID PASSPORT IDENTIFICATION. AND BEFORE WE CAN PROCEED, WE NEED TO OBTAIN AN AUTHORIZATION FIRST FROM THE UNITED NATIONS OFFICE WHICH IS NEEDED FOR DELIVERY DECLARATION BY THE CUSTOMS BEFORE THE AUTHORITY CAN RELEASED THE BOXES FOR DELIVERY TO COMMENCE TODAY. KINDLY GET BACK TO ME WITH YOUR DIRECT PHONE NUMBER, VALID ID AND DELIVERY ADDRESS SO THAT THE DELIVERY PROCEDURE CAN COMMENCE WITHOUT DELAY SO THAT I CAN MAKE THE DELIVERY ONCE AND FOR ALL.PLEASE RESPOND TO MY EMAILS SO THAT THE CLEARANCE VERIFICATION OF YOU CONSIGNMENT CAN BE MADE BY THE UN AUTHORITY HERE TODAY , TO COMMENCE DELIVERY SWIFTLY.

REGARDS
GARRY MILLARD

DIPLOMAT GARRY MILLARD

HELLO LOU,

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD HAND OVER THE BOXES TO ME TO GET THE DELIVERY DONE TO YOU AND RIGHT NOW AM IN HONOLULU SO LIKE HE SAID WE ARE NEEDING $1,200 USD TO OBTAIN YELLOW TAG FOR THE BOXES SO I CAN GET THE DELIVERY DONE. GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE SO I CAN GIVE YOU THE BANK ACCOUNT TO SEND THE MONEY AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. GET BACK TO ME SOON.

REGARDS

(Garry? Who the heck is Garry?)

LOU S1ND0R

to Garry

You're already in Honolulu? That's great, I can meet you at the airport on Molokai.

Yes, please send the account, the bank is opening soon.

DIPLOMAT GARRY MILLARD

THE BANK IS IN USA AND THE STATE IS MICHIGAN. SO SEND THE INTO THE ACCOUNT AND LOOK FOR A WAY TO SCAN AND SEND ME THE RECEIPT OF THE WIRED TRANSFER. GET IT DONE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. DON'T SCAN IT IN YOUR ATTORNEY OFFICE BUT GO ELSE WHERE TO SCAN AND SEND IT OVER TO ME. GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

REGARDS

(You guessed it, same account again. So Garry is Michael, and the writing style seems to be Lad #2. The clever lad is trying an end-around on whatever is preventing Lou from gotten the messages about Marty. Somehow I should be able to use this for a little extra fun.)

LOU S1ND0R

to Garry

What the hell?

Where's Michael? Who are you?

DIPLOMAT GARRY MILLARD

HELLO LOU,

AM DIPLOMAT GARRY MILLARD AND MICHAEL WAS CALLED BACK TO NEW YORK DUE TO HE AS A FAMILY EMERGENCY HE AS TO ATTEND TO SO I WAS APPOINTED BY THE UN TO GET THE BOXES TO YOU AS SOON AS POSSIBLE THAT WAS THE REASON WHY AM HERE NOW TO GET THE DELIVERY DONE. SO MAKE THE WIRED TRANSFER SOON AND GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE WITH THE RECEIPT SO I CAN GET THE DELIVERY DONE WHILE YOU WAIT FOR ME AT MOLOKAI AIRPORT TO PICK ME UP FROM THE AIRPORT. SO GET THE MONEY TRANSFER AS SOON AS POSSIBLE AND GET BACK TO ME SOON,.

REGARDS

DIPLOMAT GARRY MILLARD

HELLO LOU,

HAVE YOU SEND THE MONEY YET. GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE WITH THE RECEIPT OF THE MONEY YOU TRANSFER SO WE CAN GET THE DELIVERY DONE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.GET BACK TO ME SOON.

REGARDS

LOU S1ND0R

to Garry

Sent the money? What the hell are you talking about? I've paid fees and taxes and more taxes. Didn't Michael tell you anything?

Are you sure you're part of all this? How can you be and not know the details about everything I've paid?

DIPLOMAT GARRY MILLARD

HELLO LOU,

I GOT YOUR EMAIL AND I WAS INFORM ABOUT ALL THE AMOUNT OF MONEY YOU HAVE PAID INCLUDING TAX. AND I WAS INFORM THAT THE BOXES WILL BE NEEDING A YELLOW TAG FROM CUSTOM TO GET THE DELIVERY DONE WHICH WILL BE THE PAYMENT YOU ARE TO MADE. SO PLEASE GET IT DONE AND GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

REGARDS

LOU S1ND0R

to Garry

I already got a fucking tag. What are you trying to pull here?

DIPLOMAT GARRY MILLARD

HELLO LOU,

I KNOW WHAT AM SAYING AND HOW MUCH DO YOU PAY FOR THE YELLOW TAG TO OBTAIN IT FROM CUSTOM AND WHO ISSUE IT TO YOU AND FROM WHAT STATE WAS IT ISSUE TO YOU. GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

REGARDS

LOU S1ND0R

to Garry

It cost $1200 and why don't you know that?

Who the fuck are you anyway?

DIPLOMAT GARRY MILLARD

HELLO LOU,

AM IN HONOLULU RIGHT NOW AS I SPEAK TO YOU AND WHO ISSUE THE YELLOW TAG TO YOU AND FROM WHAT STATE WAS IT ISSUE FROM. GET BACK TO ME SOON AND I WILL KNOW IF YOU ARE TELLING ME THE TRUTH.

REGARDS

LOU S1ND0R

to Garry

Listen, you asshole, do you have any idea how much I've already paid to get these fucking boxes?

How do I know you're even part of this whole thing?

DIPLOMAT GARRY MILLARD

HELLO LOU,

IF AM NOT PART HOW DO I TELL YOU THAT THE BOXES WAS HAND OVER TO ME BY MICHAEL RICHARD WHO BROUGHT THE BOXES FROM ORLANDO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT IN FLORIDA AND HE AS BEEN WORKING WITH YOUR ATTORNEY TO GET THE DELIVERY DONE BUT HE WAS UNABLE TO GET IT DONE. GET BACK TO ME IF YOU BELIEVE ME KNOW.

REGARDS

LOU S1ND0R

to Garry

So why hasn't it been done? I've already paid for everything.

DIPLOMAT GARRY MILLARD

This arrives twice, for some reason.

HELLO LOU,

I GOT YOUR EMAIL AND THE YELLOW TAG WAS NOT PAID FOR. THAT WAS THE PAYMENT YOU ARE TO MADE BEFORE MICHAEL TRAVELED. I REMEMBER WHEN MICHAEL TOLD ME THE LAST PAYMENT YOU MADE WS FOR FEDERAL TAX WORTH $900,000 WHICH YOU GAVE TO YOU ATTORNEY AM I CORRECT. AND AFTER THAT YOU HAVE NOT MADE ANY PAYMENT.

REGARDS

MARTIN McS0RLEY

Enter Marty, Lou's attorney, who as we will learn, does not truly have Lou's interests at heart!

to me, Michael

Hi Lou,

Good to see you yesterday and thanks for working with me to stay on top of this. Michael is still in Honolulu and we're in constant communication so there's no need to worry on your part.

I'm working with Gerry over at the tax attorney's office to nail down the money that the federal government will need to complete the deliver to you. They're trying to get a SHITLOAD out of you, but I think we can swing a deal.

I'll keep you posted.


(Oh good. Marty is on top of things. That should make everything better.)

(Now that this insanity has gotten this far, Lou is out over $1M, the lad has invented multiple characters to try to get a little bit for himself and nobody knows what the heck is going on, let's rewind the clock back to when Lou needed help scanning the original bank receipt so long ago. Maybe we can get the real story from our oh-so-trustworthy member of the Bar?)

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Is this the correct address to forward a bank receipt on behalf of Mr. S1ndor?

Regards,
Martin McS0rley Esq.

(As with all his messages, this is followed by a huge paragraph of legal nonsense. I also reply from him such that it's all in a string and that whole load of crap gets repeated over and over and over. I'll spare you the eye test that it becomes.)

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello sir,

I got your email and this is the correct address to send the receipt on behalf of mr. S1ndor. So kindly get back to me soon with the receipt.

Regards

MARTIN McS0RLEY

(And away we go...)

To Michael

Ah, very good. It appears we have much to discuss. I recommend that your read this ENTIRE message before you reply or make any assumptions. If you can do that, my friend, this could be a very good day for both of us.

First, let's be honest with each other. We both know that there are no "consignment boxes" and there are no millions on the way to Lou. You are running a scam and attempting to steal a little money from him. The good news is that the stupid old man actually believes you and is doing everything he can to send the $1200 to you. The bad news is that I have taken control of this situation and money will go to you only when I decide that it will. I already contacted the bank and, since I am the executor of a portion of Lou's estate, made sure that the transfer was cancelled. There is no money on the way to you and I am in control of this matter.

You should also know that, thanks to Lou's inability to scan and send a message to you, he gave me his gmail password and I've reviewed your whole conversation. Congratulations, he's completely convinced that there are boxes of money about to be sent to him. We both know that is not true.

The most important thing you should know is that Lou is an old, confused man. He is actually VERY wealthy and lives alone on a large estate on Molokai. He's not as poor as he led you to believe, but he does that. He's not well, his mind is weak and he is and easily influenced.

Why am I telling you this? Simple. I do not have access to all of Lou's wealth and I want us to work together to get to it. I know your game, where you constantly demand more and more money for the boxes that don't exist. If we become partners, I can assure you that I will make both of us very, very rich.

Are you smart and enough and bold enough for this plan? You have nothing to lose and a huge payday if you and I work together.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello sir,
I got your email and the boxes are for real and I can't do that to him for am a God fearing man. So please stop this you are about to do to him for you are suppose to be his attorney not you planning to get all of his money. So please kindly send me the receipt of the payment he made and send me your number as well so i can call you on phone. Get back to me as soon as possible.

Regards

MARTIN McS0RLEY
To Michael I appreciate your insistence, but there are no boxes. There is a good chance you are sitting in a cafe in Nigeria sending thousands of messages on a computer trying to capture someone exactly like Lou. I don't care what you fear, I want your cooperation. I know your game, small boi. We can work together or you can receive nothing. Are you a fool?
DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello sir,

Send me your number right now so I can call you to speak with you or you can call me on my number XXXXXXXXXXX. Please sir kindly get back to me soon with the receipt as soon as possible. And if you send me the receipt and this payment is done I will try to think of what you are trying to say. But I don't think it will work. For am a man of God with fear. Get back to me as soon as possible.

Regards

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello sir,

After this payment we can talk about this but not now please. Get back to me as soon as possible with the receipt.

Regard

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello sir,

Am not interested in that your offer please kindly get back to me soon with the receipt as soon as possible so I can get the delivery done as soon as possible. Get back to me soon.

Regards

DIPLOMAT GARRY MILLARD

(No reply, so he tosses in a second character to try to sort this all out.)

To Martin McS0rley

Hello sir,

I believe you are the attorney to mr, Lou and I believe you are in control of his wealth and I want the both of us to work together to get money from him. Am diplomat Garry Millard. Get back to me as soon as possible.

Regard

(Garry? Now THAT is a surprise. It appears Marty's silence is making the lad nervous.)

MARTIN McS0RLEY

to Michael

You seem to have a misguided idea that you are in a position to demand something. Let me explain it to you again in simple terms.

- I control the communication with Lou. He will only hear from you if I allow it.

- There is no transfer, I stopped it. Why? So that you understand who is in charge here. Me.

- If you are not a simple fool, you will follow my instructions and we will both be very, very rich.

And no, I will not be sending you my phone number. There is no level of trust here and you continue to lie to me. I know who you are and what you are doing, so stop with the bullshit and decide if you want to receive nothing or be a rich man. If you are not enough of a man to handle this, hand it to someone who is.

Martin McS0rley

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello sir,

Please give me some my minute to think about this and I will get back to you as soon as possible.

Regards

DIPLOMAT GARRY MILLARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello Martin,

Am still waiting for you to get back to me right now so we can start taking the money from him. Get back to me as soon as possible.

Regards

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Garry

Ah, a new player. I assume you are more capable than Michael?

(Can I get him to compete with himself? That would be hilarious.)

DIPLOMAT GARRY MILLARD

Open-faced '419' fraud proposal. 'Collect' from the 'customer' (aka mugu or fool), and keep draining the victim as long as possible.]

To Martin McS0rley

Hello sir,

I got your email and right now you will contact mr. Lou and tell him that a Diplomat just contacted you in respect of his two trunk boxes and he is to pay $1500 usd to get the boxes cleared and delivered then you get the money from him right now you take half of the money and send half over to me. After this payment we will increase the payments and ask him to pay another money. Get back to me as soon as possible so we can proceed.

Regard

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

It appears that you may be replaced here, now that "Garry" is on the scene.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello sir,

I got your email and I accept your offer. So let us proceed right now. Send me your number so I can communicate with you on phone not just one email. Get back to me as soon as possible. You know mr. Lou believe in me. Get back to me soon.

Regards

MARTIN McS0RLEY

Are you working with this person?

(Forward Garry's message from Marty to Michael)


I believe you are the attorney to mr, Lou and I believe you are in control of his wealth and I want the both of us to work together to get money from him. Am diplomat Garry Millard. Get back to me as soon as possible.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello sir,

Am not working with him and I don't know him. So please let proceed get back to me with your phone number please. So u can call you as well. So tell me what is the plan now.

Regards

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

My number is associated with my business and I will not be sharing it with you at this point. Email will do.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello sir,

It okay with me and email will do as you said. So tell me what is the next plan now are you going to take you money from the $1200 mr Lou send and send the balance $600 to me right now. Get back to me soon.

Regards

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

You'll get nothing until I say so. Are you ready to move forward on this?

Also, it appears someone may have access to your email. Another criminal is trying to cut in on your money. I don't really care who I work with, but only one will be my partner.

Maybe you should ask him what he's up to. garrymillard123XXXXXXXXXXXX. Calls himself a diplomat.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

HELLO SIR,

I JUT ASKED AND AND HE AS DECIDED NOT TO CONTACT YOU ANY MORE. SO RIGHT NOW AM READY TO MOVE FORWARD. GET BACK TO ME SOON TO TELL ME WHAT IS THE NEXT STEP.

REGARDS

(So much for not knowing Garry. Now he's confusing himself!)

MARTIN McS0RLEY

(So Marty forwards Michael's message to Garry, just to see what happens.)

Is this true, you're turning this over to "Michael"?


----- Forwarded Message -----
From: michael richard
To: Martin McS0rley
Subject: Re: Mr. Lou attorney

...I JUT ASKED AND AND HE AS DECIDED NOT TO CONTACT YOU ANY MORE. SO RIGHT NOW AM READY TO MOVE FORWARD. GET BACK TO ME SOON TO TELL ME WHAT IS THE NEXT STEP.

DIPLOMAT GARRY MILLARD

To Marty

Hello sir,

Yes am turning it to Michael. So work with him.

Regards

(Fear not, faithful baiters, Garry shall return.)

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Very good.

We'll need these steps to make perfect sense, but be very expensive. Because Lou will come to me to confirm the expenses, there is no need for us to worry about small change.

Step one: send a note to Lou informing him that the local cargo carrier is charging a "large item handling fee" of $12,000. Use the name Aloha Air Cargo as that is a local company that he knows delivers to Molokai. Large fees are often charged because of the remote location, so he'll complain but he'll pay it. Have him confirm the charges with me and to give me the money and handle it for him.

Tomorrow we will start with the taxes and international transfer duties, which will be very expensive. Once we've soaked the old man for several hundred thousand dollars, I will send your half.

Remember, I have control of Lou's email. If you send ANYTHING other than what I've instructed, he'll never see it.

This is the first step toward our partnership, so don't be stupid.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

HELLO SIR,

I WILL DO ASKED YOU HAVE SAID AND WHAT ABOUT THE FIRST MONEY HE SEND ARE YOU GOING TO SEND IT OVER TO ME. AND PLEASE WHAT I WILL WANT IS THAT ANY MONEY WE TAKE FROM HIM I WILL WANT US TO SHARE IT IMMEDIATELY I DON'T WANT US TO WAIT UNTIL WE GET ALL THE MONEY FROM HIM. PLEASE GET BACK TO ME SOON TO INFORM ME IF THAT I OKAY BY YOU SO I CAN WRITE HIM RIGHT NOW A YOU HAVE SAID.

REGARD

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Garry

Interesting. I've sent him his first instructions so we'll see how capable he is.

What is your relationship with him? Workers on the same team? Does he work for you?

I'm just curious.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To: Martin McS0rley

Subject: Re: Mr. Lou attorney

HELLO SIR,

I WILL DO ASKED YOU HAVE SAID AND WHAT ABOUT THE FIRST MONEY HE SEND ARE YOU GOING TO SEND IT OVER TO ME. AND PLEASE WHAT I WILL WANT IS THAT ANY MONEY WE TAKE FROM HIM I WILL WANT US TO SHARE IT IMMEDIATELY I DON'T WANT US TO WAIT UNTIL WE GET ALL THE MONEY FROM HIM. PLEASE GET BACK TO ME SOON TO INFORM ME IF THAT I OKAY BY YOU SO I CAN WRITE HIM RIGHT NOW A YOU HAVE SAID.

REGARDS

Unspoken, but obvious, is "Michael's" worry that Lou's crooked attorney Marty will screw Michael as well as Lou.

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

I told you, I stopped that transfer.

You will do this my way or not at all. I'm not wasting my time sending these first little parts of the plan. As I said, there is a big payday coming. If you follow my instructions, you will be the richest man in that cafe.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

HELLO SIR,

I JUST WRITE TO HIM AS YOU INSTRUCTED SO YOU WAIT TO HEAR FROM HIM AND LET ME KNOW AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

REGARD

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Yes, I saw that and allowed him to receive it. Very good. He asked me to investigate the issue and I will update him in the morning to make it appear that I've spent some time on it.

Tomorrow we will take the next steps.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

HELLO SIR,

I GOT YOUR EMAIL SO PLEASE AS SOON AS HE GIVE YOU THE MONEY IN THE MORNING PLEASE DO SEND MY PART OF THE MONEY OVER TO ME FOR I NEED THE MONEY TO TAKE CARE OF MY FAMILY PLEASE. THANKS SO MUCH AND I WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.

REGARDS

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To: Martin McS0rley

Subject: Re: Mr. Lou attorney

HELLO SIR,

I GOT YOUR EMAIL SO PLEASE AS SOON AS HE GIVE YOU THE MONEY IN THE MORNING PLEASE DO SEND MY PART OF THE MONEY OVER TO ME FOR I NEED THE MONEY TO TAKE CARE OF MY FAMILY PLEASE. THANKS SO MUCH AND I WAIT TO HEAR FROM YOU SOON.

REGARDS

(Why is it that they ALWAYS plead for money to take care of their family?)

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

You'll get the money when I decide and it will be a very LARGE transfer.

Stop whining about your family, you haven't been very trustworthy at all yet.

I'm leaving the office now and will continue our efforts in the morning.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

HELLO SIR,

I GOT YOUR EMAIL AND PLEASE I WILL WAIT TO TALK TO YOU IN THE MORNING. PLEASE TRY AND UNDERSTAND MY POINT AND SEE WHERE AM COMING FROM.ANY MONEY WE GET FROM HIM LET SHARE IT IMMEDIATELY SO THERE WILL NOT BE ANY FORM OF SUSPECT ON THIS DEAL BETWEEN THE BOTH OF US. I WAIT TO TALK TO YOU IN THE MORNING.

REGARDS

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Excellent. Lou stopped by my office here on Molokai and I assured him that the charge is legitimate. He'll be bringing the payment by later today.

Now for the next step. Contact him today and inform him that there will be a customs fee when the boxes arrive in Honolulu before they are sent here. It is a percentage charge of .001 equal to $22,500. Once again have him contact me confirmation.

Taxes will be next. They will be very, very expensive.

I'm monitoring Lou's email and await your message to him. Good work so far, don't lose sight of our goal.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello sir,

I got your email and as soon as he give you the money please let me know so you can help me send about $1500 to my family. My son is not feeling too fine so my wife can take him to the hospital.

Regards

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Bullshit. I know your type of scammer, my Nigerian friend, and you will make up just about any lie you can think of to try and suck money out of people. "Man of God", sick family, operations, dying of cancer, I've heard them all. Don't insult my intelligence.

Move on to the next step.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello sir,

I got your email and if you can do this I am I going to be sure that you are going to send my part of the money to me. If you can send $1500 to me to take care of my family in Ghana. Get back to me soon.

Regard
MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Once again let me remind you that I'm well aware of your lying ways.

Now quit fucking around and send the next message to Lou while the opportunity still exists.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello sir,

I don't understand you and I don't trust you on this. You can take all the money and nothing will get to me so I want you to send me some money to be sure of what am doing before I continue with the next step.

Regards

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Perhaps you've forgotten, but you are in no position to demand anything. Could I keep all the money? Yes. Will I? No, that would be stupid of me. I will send you your share once you're done so that we may continue our partnership later. I assume you pull others into your scams and I have the resources to assist you in your work.

As I have told you, you can work with me and get rich or you can keep up with this whining and get nothing. That would be a crime like stealing from yourself. Don't be an idiot.

Now get back to the plan while Lou is still convinced that the boxes are real.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello sir,

I got your email and I will do as you have said and wait until when we take the two next money from him. So right now let me wait until he give you the money and then I will inform him of the next payment. Get back to me if that is okay by you.

Regards

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Okay, he stopped by and dropped off the money. As you might imagine, he's really mad!

Before this day is over, send him a message saying that you're aware of some taxes that will need to be paid and will give him the information on Monday. That way I can talk to him over the weekend and confirm it all with him. On Monday we get the BIG money.

Get the message too him as soon as you can.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello sir,

Has he contacted you in respect of the confirmation and the payment. Get back to me soon.

Regards

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Marty,

Mr. Lou just contacted me that he will be coming over to meet with you so you can confirm and figure out thing. This was what I told him and the punt we are to pay below.


Hello Lou,
I just just arrive at honolulu and there is a customs fee right here in Honolulu before the boxes can be delivered to you finally at your door step. It is a percentage charge of .001 equal to $22,500. So kindly confirm this from your attorney and get the money to him and he will send it over to me. Get back to me soon so the payment can be done and get the delivery done as soon as possible.
Get back to me soon.

Regards

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello sir,

I have not heard from you ever since and I wonder what is going on. Please do get back to me soon so we can talk on how you get my share of the money to me. Get back to me as soon as possible.

Regards

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

We had some power issues here because of some storms and email wasn't working for a couple of days.

Imagine my surprise when I finally go back on line and saw this:


"Good morning to you and please do change the password of your email and don't give the money to your attorney and you don't let him know about this. Also if you make the transfer by tomorrow to the account I gave to you don't scan the receipt in your attorney office go else where to scan and send it over to me. Also send your number to me so that I can call you when am close to your door step. This I how u want to help you. Wired $15,000 by tomorrow to the account I gave you and and I will help you with the balance $10,000 to get the payment done so I can get the delivery done. Get back to me as soon as possible."


You get ONE mistake and you've used it. Did you forget that I have access to Lou's email? He'll never receive this bullshit and you will STOP trying or receive nothing. I expected you to try this sort of thing and you didn't disappoint me...so much for trust.

Like I said, one attempt to fuck with me I can forgive. If you try that sort of thing again, you will walk away without a fucking penny.

It's time to move to the next step. You have ONE CHANCE to make this work and receive more money than you've ever seen in your worthless Nigerian life. If you try to cross me again, this opportunity is gone forever so quit fucking around and follow my instructions EXACTLY. During the power outage, Lou came over to barbecue and I explained that there is a Hawaii State Tax to be paid and you would investigate it for him. Send him a message today and tell him that this tax is .02% of the total and that he needs to confirm this with me so I can assist with the payment again. If you're not too busy trying to fuck with me and do the math, that's $450,000 for us to split. And there will be one more tax in the next couple of days for the federal government and we will BOTH be rich.

Don't make a stupid mistake again. GET ON WITH IT.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Marty,

I got you email and the amount I want to asked him to pay will be $45,000 usd so what I want is that as soon as he pay this to you by today or tomorrow please I want you to send my share of the money to me please cause I really need money to take care of my self and family. Get back to me as soon as possible. So I can move to the next step and we get more money from him. Get back to me soon.

Regards

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Read it again, you idiot.

$450,000

NOT $45000

Pay attention and don't fuck this up. I'm beginning to wonder if you're smart enough for this game.

(It appears Marty' abusive dickhead side is surfacing. I doubt it will disappear any time soon.)

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

HELLO SIR,

I GOT YOUR EMAIL AND PLEASE DON'T CALL ME AN IDIOT AND LET ME DO WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO AND YOU SEND MY SHARE TO ME OF THE MONEY SO GET BACK TO ME SOON SO I CAN GET TO THE NEXT STEP. ARE YOU GOING TO SEND MY SHARE TO ME IMMEDIATELY I GET THE MONEY TO YOU. GET BACK TO ME TO LET ME KNOW.

REGARD

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

I'll send you share when we've finished this. As I said, today you tell Lou about the state tax and have him talk to me a about it and pay the $450,000.

The next step, either tomorrow or the next day, will be the tax for the federal government...and that is going to be a big fucking number. Big enough for me to move to Roratanga and live like a king for the rest of my life because US dollars are so powerful there.

In Nigeria, you'll be the richest fucker in town. Maybe they'll let you be the Mayor. I don't really give a shit.

Now quit whining and get on with it.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

HELLO MARTY,

I JUST INFORM MR LOU THE AMOUNT HE IS TO PAY AND I ASKED HIM TO GIVE THE MONEY TO YOU AND YOU WILL GET IT TO ME. SO YOU GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. SO WE CAN SHARE THIS MONEY AS SOON AS HE GET IT TO YOU SO I CAN SORT SOME OF MY PROBLEM OUT BEFORE WE PROCEED WITH THE NEXT STEP BY NEXT TOMORROW. FOR IF THE AMOUNT YOU ARE GOING TO TRANSFER TO MY BANK IS TOO LARGE I CAN BE HELD FOR IT. AND I DON'T WANT THAT SO ALL I JUST WANT FROM THE MONEY IS GOING TO BE $20,000 AND I WILL KEEP WORKING WITH YOU FOR HIM TO GET THE MONEY TO YOU THEN WE KEEP SHARING IT. I DON'T WANT A VERY LARGE MONEY FROM THE MONEY. SO GET BACK TO ME SOON TO TELL ME WHAT YOU THINK.AND PLEASE ALSO INFORM ME THE TOTAL SUM THAT IS WITH YOU RIGHT NOW.

REGARDS

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

What kind of criminal doesn't want the big amount of money? That's ridiculous.

Look, if there's someone there that you're worried about, that's not a problem. We can set up an offshore account for you. I'm an attorney. I do that all the time for corporations who need to hide their assets.

I'm going to be in a position to send you HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS of US dollars. Why would you not accept it? Who will harm you if you're rich?

(This seems to happen on every one of these "big money" baits. Once the amount gets to a suitably staggering size, they get cold feel and just want a couple bucks and they'll disappear. At first I thought they might be thinking the whole thing was a joke, which it is, but they keep coming back and doing what they're told. Just lad weirdness, I suppose, but it's strange that they ALL do it.)

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello Marty,

Mr Lou just contacted me telling me that he is going to give you the money later today. So please as soon as he give you the money let me know so I can give you an account to send my share of the money into it. Get back to me soon.

Regards

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Yes, I know he's coming.

Like I said, there is one more step.

You also never answered my question. Do you want ALL of your money or just the little amount of $20000

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello Marty,

Just the amount I told you about which is $20,000 usd as I said and that is all am wanting. And then the next step you can take all the money. And using that to tell you thank you that why am giving you all the money so after this you send my money to me and tell me the next step so I can inform mr Lou so ur can give you the money and then we go on break and return back. To get the rest money.

Regards
MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Why so little money for you? What possible reason can you have for not wanting the rest?

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello Marty,

I got your email and I will get the rest but after 2 weeks after I get the first $20,000 so please as soon as he give you the money let me know so I can give you the account to send the money soon.

Regards

(Changed his mind, he did. Now he DOES want the rest. Confused little bugger.)

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

HELLO MARTY,

HAS MR. LOU GIVEN THE MONEY TO YOU YET. GET BACK TO ME SOON TO LET ME KNOW SO I CAN GIVE YOU THE ACCOUNT TO SEND MY SHARE OF THE MONEY. GET BACK TO ME SOON.

REGARD

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Okay, the old fool has paid up.

Tomorrow we finish this

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello Marty,

So by tomorrow are you going to send my share to me as soon as he made the next payment by tomorrow. Get back to me to let me know and let me know the amount. Get back to me soon.

Regard

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Marty,

Am after tomorrow payment we will need to go for a break and return back after some time.

Regards

MARTIN McS0RLEY

cc: scammers

Hi Lou,

Good to see you yesterday and thanks for working with me to stay on top of this. Michael is still in Honolulu and we're in constant communication so there's no need to worry on your part.

I'm working with Gerry over at the tax attorney's office to nail down the money that the federal government will need to complete the deliver to you. They're trying to get a SHITLOAD out of you, but I think we can swing a deal.

I'll keep you posted.

(So now we've found ourselves at the point where our two separate conversations have come together. I'll try to keep the timeline in order for the rest of it, but it may get a little tough to follow every now and then.)

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

HELLO MARTY,

I GOT YOUR EMAIL AND WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO TELL LOU RIGHT NOW. JUST I INFORM HIM ABOUT THE FEDERAL TAX RIGHT NOW AND TELL HIM THE AMOUNT HE IS TO PAY. GET BACK TO ME SOON.

REGARDS

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

I'll give you the amount this afternoon now that he knows it will be coming. Then we can finish this off.

Be patient.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

HELLO MARTY,

I GOT YOUR EMAIL AND I WAIT FOR YOU TO GIVE ME THE AMOUNT SO WE CAN FINISH THIS OFF THEN YOU SEND MY SHARE OF THE MONEY TO ME BIT BY BIT. GET BACK TO ME SOON TO INFORM ME THE AMOUNT AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

REGARD

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

HELLO MARTY,

GET BACK TO ME SOON TO INFORM ME THE AMOUNT SO I CAN TELL LOU RIGHT NOW SO WE CAN GET THE MONEY FROM HIM BEFORE NIGHT FALL TODAY SO THAT BY TOMORROW MORNING YOU START SENDING MY SHARE OF THE MONEY OVER TO ME. GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

REGARDS

(If it seems like I'm making him wait all the time and he's having to ask for things twice, I am and he is. I'm just trying to stretch it out and keep him frustrated while the carrot is dangled juuuuust out of reach.)

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

It's midafternoon here so the old fool will be tiring a bit. Now is the time to send your message.

Tell Lou that I was successful in negotiating with the IRS and was able to reduce his Federal Transit Tax by 75% because of his distinguished military service. If you want, you can thank him for his bravery in World War II, it will make this all sound more believable.

Instead of a 12% tax, I was able to reduce it to 4% so his final payment to the IRS is $900,000. Once again, he should contact me to confirm this and deliver the money to me so I can take care of the details.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello Lou (He confused himself, but I'll let it pass...bigger fish to fry. It seems he's good and frazzled.)

I got your email and you don't have to worry and all I will do is to give you an account to send the $20,000 into and that will be all. Also I just write to Lou to inform him able the payment and I asked him to confirms from you and get the money to you. Get back to me soon.

Regards

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Look, $20000 is nothing. Are you willing to pass up hundreds of thousands of dollars?

I can help you with this since you've helped me. We can set up an offshore account for you and nobody will know that you have it. I've done this for myself and have been able to put away a LARGE amount of money without being taxed and without anyone knowing about it. Once I've transferred the money there, you can live like a king in Nigeria or just leave and retire on the beach somewhere.

I saw the message to Lou, well done. I expect he'll be knocking on my office door before the morning is over (it's 8:30 am here).

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

HELLO MARTY,

I GOT YOUR EMAIL AND I ALSO JUST GOT A EMAIL FROM LOU SAYING THAT I WILL BE COMING TO MEET YOU WITH SO HE CAN GET THE PAYMENT DONE. FIRST WHAT YOU WILL DO FOR ME FIRST IS TO SEND THE $20,000 IN AN ACCOUNT AM GOING TO GIVE TO YOU AND THEN WE CAN SET UP AN OFFSHORE ACCOUNT THAT I CAN TAKE MONEY FROM IT FROM GHANA. SO PLEASE DO INFORM ME AS SOON AS LOU GET THE MONEY TO YOU SO I CAN GIVE YOU THE ACCOUNT TO TRANSFER THE MONEY INTO THE ACCOUNT. GET BACK TO ME SOON.

REGARDS

(Now he REALLY wants the big paycheck. He really does seem to be starting to believe this.)

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Why would I bother with two transfers?

Let's get the offshore account in place and get on with it.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

HELLO MARTY,

I GOT YOUR EMAIL AND PLEASE I DON'T WANT AN OFFSHORE ACCOUNT. PLEASE AS SOON AS HE GIVE YOU THE MONEY LET ME KNOW SO I CAN SEND YOU THE ACCOUNT NUMBER STRAIGHT AWAY SO YOU CAN SEND THE $20,000 OVER TO ME IN GHANA . GET BACK TO ME TO INFORM ME SOON AS SOON AS HE GIVE YOU THE MONEY.

REGARDS

(Different lad, different story. These two need to learn to play together better.)

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Are you nuts?

After all this, you only want $20000? What the hell kind of scammer are you? Why are you afraid of the big money?

Is there someone who will harm you in some way? Maybe I can help you.

I'm nearly ready to send you several hundred thousand dollars and you don't want it? That makes no sense at all.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello Marty,

I got your email and I will accept the money you want to give to me but first send me the $20,000 in the account I will give to you first and then you can send the rest into the same account am going to give to you. Hope you are okay with that. Should i send the account number to your right now. Get back to me soon.

Regards

(Ah, I see. All-caps-lad is scared of the big bucks and lower-case lad wants it. Pretty funny.)

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Sure, send that account, but as I said, I'm waiting to send the whole thing. Multiple large transfers to the same place would look suspicious and we need to tread carefully here. What we're doing is not exactly legal. Why are you so fixated on $20000 anyway?
DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello Marty, The reason why I want $20,000 usd first is to solve the problem am having financially first and then you will help me send the rest to an account I will give to you. But for now first I just want the $20,000 to solve my problem and after I receive it in my account I will get the rest. Hold on I will send the account to you in my next email. The money will be send to different account over here not just one account. I will send the account to you right now. Regards
DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Marty,

Here is the account details below to send the money as soon as Lou give you the money. Send $20,000 to this account below.

The Bank details as follows: Currency. Us Dollar Corresponding Bank. Citibank N.A . Address. 111.wall street 10043 New York . Swift/sort routing numb:CITIUS33:XXXXXXXXXXX Account No XXXXXXXXXXX bank name.. UNIBANK. GHANA Beneficiary Acc . No.XXXXXXXXXXX Name.Genge drill Engineering.

So please kindly get back to me soon and please inform me when you get the money from Lou.

Regards

(Now THAT was finally a new account.)

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Marty,

As Lou given the money to you yet. Get back to me soon to inform me if he as given you the money.

Regards

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Yes, he dropped off the big check, congratulations. I'll go to the bank this morning.
DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Marty,

Congratulation to you too. Please as soon as you wired or transfer the money to the account I have to you do send me the receipt. I wait to hear from you soon.

Regards

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello Marty,

Have you deem able to transfer the money to the account I have to you. Get back to me soon with the transfer slip or wired receipt. Get back to me soon.

Regards

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

(It appears things are about to take a turn for the worst...)

Yes, I've been to the bank and there may need to be a change of plans. Don't worry, you'll get your share, but the bank manager was very concerned and also quite suspicious of such a large transfer to Unibank. It appears that there is some sort of alert associated with fraud and money laundering and he had some very troubling questions.

Of course, we both know that's exactly what we're doing, so it shouldn't really be a surprise.

I'm currently sitting on $1,372,500 from our little project here, so your half is $686,250. Given the exchange rate to the Cedi (you ARE in Ghana, right?) this is a huge amount of money where you are.

As for me, I have several million more and am prepared to pack a couple bags and move on. My plan would be to stop in Ghana first and ensure that you get your money. Hell, I might even stay there if it's nice. I have a real weakness for African women.

Wiring or transferring that amount of money is looking entirely too dangerous, so we'll need to explore other options. A notarized cashier's check is the easiest and safest, but that would need to be written to your name and I'm quite certain it's not "Michael". I suppose I could make the cashier's check out to myself as well, but I would need to know a reputable bank to convert it to cash for us to divide.

Do you know such a bank? I can be on my way early next week and we can laugh at our fortunes over a cold beer.

Well done and I look forward to meeting you...and I am certain you want to see me.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello Marty,

I got your email and please help me on this first. Please go to the bank and transfer the $20,000 usd so I can make use of that first to solve my problem and then we think of a way to get the rest. So please send money into the account and get back to me as soon as possible with the receipt or the wired slip.

Regards.

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Are you not paying attention?

I'm going to HAND you the money. After today, my bank is too dangerous, I thought the manager was going to call the fucking police. How much corruption IS there in Ghana?

Like I said, I can get a notarized cashier' check or I can meet you when I get there. What airport is nearest to you?

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello Marty,

I got your email and please you have to understand what am trying to say. It too dangerous for you to hand over such amount of money to me on my hand. So please try and go to another bank and transfer the $20,000 usd over to me so I can solve the problem am having right now. I beg you with the name of God. This was the reason I said in the first place that we should share what ever money we get from Lou immediately we get it but you insist we get all the money and share it. And now we are having problem sending my own money over to me. Please try and go to another location to transfer the money to the account I gave to you. Wired the $20,000 and get back to me soon with the receipt.

Regards

(He's worried about my safety. How touching.)

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Why would it be dangerous? You don't think I'd just walk up to you in the street and yell "HERE'S A PILE OF MONEY", do you?

Going to the bank is not safe now, that's just the way it is. You were the one that give me the bullshit bank account, so now we have to be more clever.

We can meet in private, I'll give you your money, and then we can go our separate ways. Like I said, it can even be a cashier's check and nobody will know you're rich until you're ready to use the money wisely. Isn't that why you do this stupid scam, so you can make money and do something better?

Sometimes you don't make any sense

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello Marty,

I got your email and am afraid for you to come over and give me the money that is the reason I want you to transfer $20,000 usd into the account first. So please try and do that for me. Please send me your number so I can talk to you on phone. Get back to me soon.

Regards

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Progress is being made. I was able to convert all of the money to negotiable bearer bonds after I convinced the bank manager to assist me. Of course, giving him a little "gift" of $10,000 made that work much easier.

(Thank you, "Die Hard". I have no idea if that sort of bond even exists...and frankly, I don't really care.)

I'm concerned that the police are starting to become aware of my activities and will be leaving here for good on Monday. I need to book my flights immediately, what is the airport nearest to you?

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello Marty,

The name of the nearest airport to me is called Kotoka international airport Accra. Are you bring the money in cash over to me. Please send me you number. Get back to me soon.

Regards

(Yup, he thinks I'm really coming. Sweet.)

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Yes, I will bring the bearer bonds, which can be converted to cash anywhere in the world. I will send you my travel details as soon as the trip is booked.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello Marty,

What is going on. Please do send $10,000 into the account I have you so I can process my visa and come over to meet with you so I can get the money from you. Get back to me as soon as possible to tell me what you think if you can send the money right now into the account I gave you. Get back to me soon.

Regards

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Listen, you stupid Nigerian, are you ignoring EVERYTHING I say?

First, you try to get a little money out of Lou. What the fuck are you doing? I stopped that message right away.

And no, I'm not sending you money, you idiot. I'm bringing it to you.

I closed up everything on Molokai and flew to Honolulu last night and am staying out of site at the airport. I will leave tonight and arrive in Accra late Wednesday morning. I promise you if you are NOT at the airport, I'm taking your fucking money and you'll never see me or your fortune.

I will contact you from New York and confirm my arrival time. If you try to contact Lou and cross me again, you won't see a fucking penny. I left my entire life behind and you'd better not fuck this up.

Here's the flights that I booked. Cost a lot, but it will be worth it.

(Insert Orbitz itinerary here.)

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Marty,

How do you want me to trust you that all this are for real when you refuse to send me a little amount of money even if his a $1000 by money gram then I will know it for real and I will wait for you at the airport and also you will send me a passport ID of yours so I can identify you. But if you are not ready to do that then am afraid you are just trying to play trick on me. And I will not fall for your trick. Get back to me soon.

Regards

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

You can send Lou emails all day and he won't get them. Why do you keep trying?

Did you spend the weekend becoming a fucking fool?

Stop screwing around or I'll walk right by you in Accra and you'll get nothing for all this work.

You have NO options, so quit fucking around.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Marty,

You are making me tired and am already weak. It look like you are trying to set me up and get me arrested. When you arrive send me an email with you Ghana number so I can call you.

Regards

(He's afraid of getting arrested? Interesting. At least he thinks I'm headed to Ghana. I bet we'll miss each other.)

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

I'm on the runway to leave New York and have not heard from you.

I will be in Accra tomorrow at 11:55, do NOT let me down

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

hello marty,

if you don't want to give me your number just forget about this and let me get the little money from lou or else i will expose every thing and you will be arrested.

Regards

(A third lad or did Lad #2 forget the caps lock? Who knows?)

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Well, what's the story? You obviously did NOT come to the airport, you fucking idiot.

You have one more chance to get your money before I fly out of here and you never hear from me again.

I'm at the Villa Monticello and will be here until Friday. It's on Mankata Avenue.

If you don't show by the time I leave I'm keeping your fucking money and you can starve for all I care.

And you still keep sending messages to Lou that he'll never read. You really are a stupid child.

I'm out of here on Delta flight 479 on Friday. Find me at the hotel or find me at the airport.

I don't know why I keep trying. You sure don't seem to be worth it.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

HELLO MARTY,

LET ME HAVE YOUR NUMBER TO CALL YOU RIGHT NOW TO BE SURE YOU ARE IN GHANA AND ALSO TAKE A TAXI AND ASKED HIM TO BRING YOU TO CHRISTIAN VILLAGE AND YOU WILL MEET ME THERE. I DON'T HAVE MONEY TO COME OVER THERE TO MEET YOU.

REGARD

(Looks like his caps lock is working again. Oh well.)

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

If you want your money, you find a way here. I'm finished trying to do things for you.

As you might imagine, I ditched my phone. The police were on my tail. All I have is this tablet and that will have to do.

Are you coming or not? Venezuela is calling me and I will NOT change my plans just because of your whining. Of course you can afford a taxi, you lying sack of shit.

Be sure I am in Ghana? Where else would I be?

You don't make a lot of sense sometimes.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

HELLO MARTY,

YOU HAVE TO LOOK FOR A WAY TO COME OVER TO WHERE AM TELLING YOU AND HAND OVER THE MONEY TO ME FOR YOU ARE A VERY GOOD MAN. SO GOOD THAT AND I WILL KEEPING WORK WITH YOU. FOR THERE ARE SOME OTHER CLIENT I WILL LIKE YOU TO TALK TO FOR ME. GET BACK TO ME SOON.

REGARDS

(Luring me with more "clients"...that's awesome stuff.)

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Why would I do that? You know exactly where I am and where your money is.

And where the hell is Christian Village?

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

hello marty,

i got your email and stop a taxi and asked him to take you to christian village in dome. tell the taxi driver to stop you in shell petrol station. and i will come over there to meet with you.

regards

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Okay, who the fuck is Garry?

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

HELLO MARTY,

IF YOU ARE REALLY IN GHANA WHY ARE YOU NOT SLEEPING BY THIS TIME OF THE DAY. YOU ARE A SCAMMER HONESTY SPEAKING. YOU HAVE BEEN IN GHANA. YOU ARE NOT A ATTORNEY.

REGARDS

(He seems to have forgotten that he's also in Ghana...and awake.)

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

What are talking about, it's not even midnight. And I'm still not adjusted from Hawaii time, it's early afternoon there.

And if you're so worried about my sleep habits, why are you awake, asshole?

And I ask again, who the fuck is Garry and why is he trying to get to Lou? He could fuck up this whole thing.

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

HELLO LOU,

I GOT YOUR EMAIL AND PLEASE I DON'T KNOW GARRY AND PLEASE JUST LET HIM BE SO THAT HE WILL NOT BLOW EVERYTHING UP. SO LET HIM CONTACT LOU IN RESPECT OF ANYTHING. JUST LET HIM BE YOU DON'T KNOW WHO HE HIS.

REGARD

(He doesn't know him but "let him be"? That's going to cost him. It's promising, however, that he's worried about this all collapsing. At least a part of him believes it's all true.)

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Listen, you fucking idiot, you pal Garry is trying ask Lou for MORE money. What the hell is he doing?

Find that asshole and stop him. He could mess up the whole thing.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

(This session has been going along for quite a while and Michael is gassed...and snaps.)

HELLO MARTY,

YOU MOTHER THAT GAVE BIRTH TO YOU IS A PROSTITUTE AND YOUR FATHER IS A BLOODY COCK SUCKER. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU SON OF A BITCH. YOU THINK YOU CAN TALK TO ME JUST AS YOU LIKE. OR DO YOU THINK I CARE ABOUT THE FUCKING MONEY YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT. YOU ARE JUST A PISS OF DIRT.

FUCK OFF BITCH.

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

So you're walking away from $700000 because you don't like the way I talk to you?

And you don't care about the money?

Fine, I'll keep it myself. You must be the dumbest scammer in Africa.

Fucking idiot.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

HELLO MARTY,

IF YOU ARE FOR REAL IF I ASKED YOU TO SEND ME YOUR NUMBER YOU WILL DO THAT FOR ME TO CALL YOU AND TALK TO YOU ON PHONE AND YOU WILL ALSO SEND ME A COPY OF YOU ID AS WELL AS A BARRISTER OR ANY OTHER ID SO I CAN IDENTIFY YOU. BUT YOU DID NOT DO ANYTHING AS SUCH. SO I DON'T BELIEVE IN YOU I THINK YOU ARE JUST TRYING TO GET ME ARRESTED THAT IS ALL YOU ARE TRYING TO DO.

REGARDS

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

By the way, if you don't know Garry, you might want to consider finding out who he is. He sent this to Lou:


HELLO LOU,

IF AM NOT PART HOW DO I TELL YOU THAT THE BOXES WAS HAND OVER TO ME BY MICHAEL RICHARD WHO BROUGHT THE BOXES FROM ORLANDO INTERNATIONAL AIRPORT IN FLORIDA AND HE AS BEEN WORKING WITH YOUR ATTORNEY TO GET THE DELIVERY DONE BUT HE WAS UNABLE TO GET IT DONE. GET BACK TO ME IF YOU BELIEVE ME KNOW.


Sounds like he wants some of your action.

That's pretty funny, since you've given up on all your money. Hilarious.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

HELLO MARTY,

SEND ME WHAT I ASKED YOU TO SEND ME FIRST BEFORE I CAN FIND WHO GARRY REALLY HIS FOR YOU AND INFORM YOU ABOUT IT. SEND ME YOUR NUMBER AND A COPY OF YOU ID SO I CAN IDENTIFY YOU OR EVER=N A COPY OF YOUR PIX.

REGARDS

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

A copy of my ID? Over email?

I'm not that stupid.

Here, send a note to Garry and see what the fuck he's doing.

garrymillard123XXXXXXXXXX

How does he know about all the money, you idiot? What did you do?
MARTIN McS0RLEY

(Let's spend a moment abusing the lad's "Garry" character. Just for fun.)

To Garry

Oh, good, another scamming dickhead. My guess is that you have access to Michael's email and yes, I know that's not his name.

We've already tapped Lou for a fortune. What the fuck is your game?

DIPLOMAT GARRY MILLARD

HELLO MARTIN,

FIRST OF ALL BEFORE I CAN TELL YOU WHO I REALLY AM I WILL LIKE TO HAVE YOU NUMBER AND A COPY OF YOUR ID AS A ATTORNEY TO YOU. GET BACK TO ME FOR ME TO PROCEED.

REGARDS

(Blah, blah...boring. At least your other character is continuing to be entertaining.)

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

HELLO MARTY,

YOU REALLY THINK AM SO STUPID FOR ME TO FALL FOR YOU. BY TOMORROW COME OVER TO MEET ME IN WHERE I TOLD YOU AND BEFORE YOU COME I WILL WRITE YOU AN EMAIL IN THE MORNING ET YOUR NUMBER FROM YOU. A REAL ATTORNEY WILL NOT STEAL.

REGARDS

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

HELLO MARTIN,

I JUST INSERTED YOUR NAME INTO GOOGLE AND YOU WHERE NOT FOUND ON IT WHAT IS WRONG. YOU ARE NOT FOR REAL. AND REAL ATTORNEY OF LAW IS SUPPOSE TO BE ON GOOGLE WHEN YOU INSERT HIS NAME ON IT BUT YOU WHERE NOT THERE. HOW CAN YOU EXPLAIN THAT.

REGARDS

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Of course you did.

But you did NOT, you dumb fucking African. Here, let me help you. I'm all over Google if you can fucking spell.

This is what I used to do for a living:

(A YouTube vid of Marty McS0rley knocking the crap out of Bob Probert. A classic.)

Now I'm an attorney and a sports agent. Idiot. You googled nothing. Typical lying asshole.

A real attorney will not steal? That's hilarious coming from a crook.

Lou has been a pain in the ass for years and I'm happy to take his cash. He has plenty more.

And no, I'm not meeting you where YOU can have someone come after me. I'm not that stupid. Meet me in the bar at Villa Monticello where I can be sure you won't have one of your pals try to take what's mine.

Or don't and I'll keep your money for myself. I really don't give a shit what you do.

And quit with the Garry bullshit, you're not fooling anybody.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

marty come over to where i told you and i will not do anything to hurt you for i dn't even have the on mind so come and give me my money.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

u think say i fool like u shay. take you time well well o guy make i nor fall ur hand for street.

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

No, little one, I'm not another scammer like you, but I know plenty about them, foolish small boi.

Too bad, you could have been rich if you weren't so stubborn and stupid.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello Marty,

I got your email and the reason why I was having problem with you is because you refuse to give me your number so by tomorrow when I will be coming over to meet you how do you think I can locate you. I don't have money right now to come to villa so please try and come over to where I told you about so I can get the money from you there and I will even give you some from my own money. Try and understand my situation and please do it for me just to help me.

Regards

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

marty come over to where i told you and i will not do anything to hurt you for i dn't even have the on mind so come and give me my money.

(Repeated message from a different email and format. NOW I think lad # 3 is on board, at least for a while.)

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Why would I believe you? You lie over and over.

Come to me or forget the money. I don't trust you as far as I could throw you. But I could throw you far, little boi.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello Marty,

I don't want such a huge amount of money so by tomorrow please come with just $70,000 of the money and you can take the rest of it. That is all am needing to continue my education and open a business and live a better life. So please I look forward to hear from you by tomorrow.

Regard

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

I'll be easy to find, look for the only white guy at the bar who's over six feet tall and looks like he could kick your ass all the way to Togo.

Find the money to get here, you don't have much time.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello Lou,

(Frazzled again, got the name wrong and throwing in a reference to the Almighty. Seriously old school lad squirming there.)

Please look for a way to come over to meet me here please I beg you with God name

Regards

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

I still don't understand why you're afraid of the money.

Why? What kind of moron scammer wants LESS money

I'm turning the computer off because now it really is late and you probably need to work in that little shitbox cafe scraping for pennies when you could have all the money you'd ever need.

I'll be in the bar at 2:00 tomorrow. If you're not, you lose. The you can go back to pretending to Garry or the FBI Or Goodluck or whoever the fuck you think will work.

Moron.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

To Martin McS0rley

Hello sir,

That is the only money will be needing you can keep the rest of it. And please try and understand my situation and come over to meet me where I told you. As am here now I have not eaten since morning and am very hungry so I will be going to bed soon. Please try and understand and come per. Thanks.

Regard

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael

Well, I've had my fill of food and I bought champagne for everybody at the bar. Since you didn't show up, I get it all.

I even took a picture for you. I made a lot of friends spending your money.

Have a shitty life, you stupid little boi.

Oh, I almost forgot. Your whole Garry scam with Lou may have some issues.

I'm thinking I should tell him you're not in Honolulu. I suspect it's more like Egypt Rd or Fourth St right here in Ghana.

You can't hide, dumbass.

(I attached a picture I found of the bar that really IS in Villa Monticello...with four champagne bottles lined up on it. Sometimes I scare myself.)

So... the scammers are angry at Lou's crooked attorney Marty, but they may not have given up on Lou himself!

DIPLOMAT GARRY RICHARD

(Let's look in on Lou to see why Marty was so pissed off about the antics of Garry.)

Hello Lou,

I got your email and then payments for the yellow tag as not been made so there is no way you can get your funds. So get the money send to the account I gave to you and get back to me with the receipt so I can get the delivery done. Get back to me as soon as possible.

Regards

LOU S1ND0R

to Garry

That was paid to Michael by my attorney back in October. Why don't you know that?

DIPLOMAT GARRY MILLARD/MICHAEL RICHARD

(But wait...the pidgin insult guy is back on line. Off to Accra we go!)

to Marty

ur papa wen die for motor road na b idoit and ur mama wit he big toto

MARTIN McS0RLEY

To Michael (or Garry...I've lost track.)

Mugu...you are one funny fucker.

Stop by in Caracas some time.

LOU S1ND0R

(Okay, back to Molokai. Lou seems to be working up a good lather.)

to Garry

What's going on and where is my fucking money?

You're about two seconds from going to jail, you son of a bitch.

DIPLOMAT GARRY MILLARD

Hello Lou,

I got your email and then payments for the yellow tag as not been made so there is no way you can get your funds. So get the money send to the account I gave to you and get back to me with the receipt so I can get the delivery done. Get back to me as soon as possible.

Regards

LOU S1ND0R

to Garry

That was paid to Michael by my attorney back in October. Why don't you know that?

DIPLOMAT GARRY MILLARD

to me

Hello Lou,

Your attorney did not drop the money that is the reason why his on the run. That why you can't find him. So get the money send into the account I gave you yesterday and get back to me with the receipt. Get back to me soon.

Regards

LOU S1ND0R

to Garry

What the fuck are you talking about?

On the run? What do you mean by that?

LOU S1ND0R

to Garry

And you gave me a bank account that I know is not going to work.

What's going on here and where is Marty?

And where's my fucking money?

DIPLOMAT GARRY MILLARD

Hello Lou,

You attorney still your money and run away. So look for him and get him arrested.

Regards

LOU S1ND0R

to Garry

I thought Michael had the money.

And where are the boxes?

DIPLOMAT GARRY MILLARD

HELLO LOU,

HERE IS THE BANK DETAILS TO SEND THE MONEY RIGHT NOW BELOW.

(Yeah, the same old tired account. Sigh.)

THE BANK IS IN USA AND THE STATE IS MICHIGAN. SO SEND THE INTO THE ACCOUNT AND LOOK FOR A WAY TO SCAN AND SEND ME THE RECEIPT OF THE WIRED TRANSFER. GET IT DONE AS SOON AS POSSIBLE. DON'T SCAN IT IN YOUR ATTORNEY OFFICE BUT GO ELSE WHERE TO SCAN AND SEND IT OVER TO ME. GET BACK TO ME AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.

REGARDS
Sent from my iPhone

DIPLOMAT GARRY MILLARD

Hello Lou,

Michael did not get the money. Your attorney is with the money. So go and get the money transfer into this account I just send to you and get back to me with the receipt. And right now the boxes are in Honolulu with me. Get back to me as soon as possible as soon as you transfer the money. Go and make the wired transfer now and get back to me so I can get the delivery done.

Regards

LOU S1ND0R

to Garry

You keep sending the same damn account and I know it's no good.

And I ask you again. WHERE ARE MY FUCKING BOXES?

DIPLOMAT GARRY MILLARD

Hello Lou,

The boxes are in Honolulu right now with me. And the account I have you I a very good account. So go and get the wired transfer.

Regards

LOU S1ND0R

to Garry

No, the account is NOT good. It's on some sort of fucking watch list. I already tried to use that with Michael and bank manager threatened to have me arrested.

There's something really suspicious going on here.

(I actually did this bit with Marty, but I'm guessing the lad is flummoxed enough not to notice.)

DIPLOMAT GARRY MILLARD

Hello Lou,

That was because your attorney stop the first transfer you made to Michael. Where you not inform by your attorney.

Regards

LOU S1ND0R

to Garry

No, he sent THOUSANDS to Michael.

I'm going to his place right now to find out what the fuck is going on and where the fuck my money is.

LOU S1ND0R

to Garry

Okay, now I don't know what's happening. Marty's house looks abandoned. It's all boarded up.

What the hell is going on? All that money, is it gone? What are we going to do?

DIPLOMAT GARRY MILLARD

Hello Lou,

I got your email and the only thing you can do right now is to go and get the money send to the account I gave to you. And get back to me with the receipt. Then I will get your boxes delivered to you. Get back to me soon as soon as you send the money to the account and give me the receipt.

Regard

LOU S1ND0R

to Garry

The only thing I can do? I've been fucked out of THOUSANDS of dollars.

I need to talk to Michael and I need to talk to him now. I don't give a shit where he is, you find him and do it NOW.

What a fucking disaster.

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

(And like magic, Michael appears, sniffing for that $1200.)

Hello Lou,

I just got a call from Garry Millard telling me that you said you want to talk to me. Your attorney did not send the money for the yellow tag. He took the money away. So you try and get money transfer to the account Garry gave you so he can get the delivery done.

Regards

LOU S1ND0R

to Michael

Where the fuck have YOU been and what the fuck happened?

DIPLOMAT MICHAEL RICHARD

Hello Lou,

I was called to come home for an family emergency. So the boxes have to be delivered by Garry Millard. So work with him but you can get any confirmation from me. So get the money transfer to the account he gave you so he can get the delivery done. The boxes are still in Honolulu.

Regards

LOU S1ND0R

to Michael

I've already transferred more money than is necessary for this bullshit. Why do you two keep asking me for more?

MARTIN McS0RLEY

(And then, on his way out of town, a parting shot from our favorite attorney.)

A parting shot from Marty

Just for shits, I sent this to Lou. I bet you'll be hearing from him soon.


Lou, I'll make this quick as I don't think I have much time. I'm in Accra, Ghana. I know that's a surprise, but I discovered that this whole damn thing was a scam. There are no boxes in Honolulu and the money that I sent has been stolen by Michael (who is also Garry, he's been playing with you trying to get more). I found where they were doing their business in Ghana and came here to find them and get your money back. I can't believe we both fell for this.

They work out of internet cafes in the middle of the night, there are thousands of them. It's like a business here. I contacted the police and they KNEW about it and were doing nothing. They told the criminals where I was and they're coming for me. They know that I'm on to them and I'm very worried. These are dangerous men and the police will let them hurt me any way they want to. I'm sorry, old friend, I've failed you. I fear I'm about to pay the ultimate price for my mistake.


So long, fuckbag. My connecting flight to Caracas is loading soon.

LOU S1ND0R

(And Lou goes ballistic, as you might imagine.)

to Michael

All right, you slimy fuck. What have you done? I got THIS MESSAGE from Marty.


Lou, I'll make this quick as I don't think I have much time. I'm in Accra, Ghana. I know that's a surprise, but I discovered that this whole damn thing was a scam. There are no boxes in Honolulu and the money that I sent has been stolen by Michael (who is also Garry, he's been playing with you trying to get more). I found where they were doing their business in Ghana and came here to find them and get your money back. I can't believe we both fell for this.

They work out of internet cafes in the middle of the night, there are thousands of them. It's like a business here. I contacted the police and they KNEW about it and were doing nothing. They told the criminals where I was and they're coming for me. They know that I'm on to them and I'm very worried. These are dangerous men and the police will let them hurt me any way they want to. I'm sorry, old friend, I've failed you. I fear I'm about to pay the ultimate price for my mistake.


EXPLAIN YOURSELF YOU FUCKING PIG.


And that seemed to have done it. This went on for weeks and I have a feeling the lads aren't quite sure what just happened. I suspect they believed Lou hook, line and sinker. And the whole mess with Marty had to make them wonder...was there really a guy in Accra with $1.6 M?

Of course, with a clean escape by our heroes, they'll never know. Marty is in Caracas buying a villa and drinking rum and Lou is just sitting on Molokai breathing fire about getting ripped off. Methinks these lads will be ripe for another bit of abuse before too long. I'll be saying "hi" with another character once we roll into the new year, just to see what sort of mischief I can get into.

If you read this entire mess, mahalo. I hope you enjoyed the silliness, I sure had fun making it happen.

Bait safe, y'all.

 

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