THERE IS NO JOY

Yea! Arnold Wanker is back.
A veteran of such encounters as YOU ARE SLOWING DOWN OUR SERVICE and MOONSHINE OVER METHLAND, he returns to waste the time of:

Joy Windy, first-tier Lad - reels 'em in, passes 'em on to:
Madam Jamilah Intan Abdulah, posing as Malaysian supplier of Adequan
Brian Bruce Johnsons, posing as Procurement Manager for Valley Vet Veterinary Group of Reading, UK (which is a real veterinary practice; the scammer appears to have copied their details from their web site)

Arnold has a close working relationship with Dr. Sweeney Todd (board-certified scambaiter), of:
YOUR UTTERANCE IS REPREHENSIBLE
DEMON SCAMBAITER OF FLEET STREET
INFORMED CONSENT


JOY WINDY
Date: Fri, 6 Nov 2009
From: joy_love33tt@yahoo.com
Subject: SERIOUS FRIENDSHIPS AND BUSINESS
To: joy_love33tt@yahoo.com

Dear Sir..

The bord of directors normally send me to malaysia,china and bangkok to purchase ADEQUAN .The ADEQUAN is a medicine and is used to treat animals,such as cattle ,horses and etc.

The medicine is very cheap in asia compare in U.S and Europe,in u.s and europe, per carton of the medicine is cost 3500 to 4000pounds while in malaysia you will get the product for 2200usd.

When i purchase the medicine 2200usd per carton,when i get back to my company i will tell my directors that i purchase the medicine for 4000usd,i have been coming to malaysia alone all this time but right now,the directors has appointed one of the company member to go over to malaysia to purchase the medicine,

Dear,this is what i want you to do,i will introduce you to a malaysian lady,she is the seller of this medicine,i want you to go and purchase the medicine from her for 2200usd so when the vertinary doctors arrive to malaysia i will introduce you to the doctors and tell them that you are the main supplier of the medicine and you will sell the medicine to them for 4000usd Per carton.

They need about 50 to 100 cartons .I want you to know that my percentage from the profit you will make from the transaction is 40% out the profit.

i have to pass your contact details to my directors and one of them will be given you call,when they called you please,tell them that per carton of the medicine is 4000usd .please,i want you to handle the transaction very well please and i want to know that when you purchase the medicine from the LADY for 2200usd then you will sell it to the doctors for 4000usd.

The doctors pay cash on delivery after you supply the medicine to them,then they will now pay you. All i needed from u is to be kind, honest, and trust,, i hope to hear from you soon with your full contact, phone number, Etc

If this business proposition offends your moral and ethic values, do accept my sincere apology.

regards
JOY WINDY

So "Joy Windy" (we do not make these names up) invites Arnold to join in skimming funds intended for medical treatment. Of course the funds are imaginary, but you knew that. [If you didn't, you really should go back and read the main page and everything remotely FAQy on it.]

This is basically the cow vaccine letter, not seen here in a long time (like, since before Scamorama broke down and started using style sheets).
The Honorable Stew de Baker Hawke dealt with this in a few of his fine adventures:
COW PUNCHING OF A DIFFERENT SORT and
OUAGADOUGOU THAT DOUGOU THAT YOU DOU SOU OUELL

Arnold Wanker

Date: Mon, 23 Nov 2009
To: joy_windy00010@yahoo.com

Hi Joy

Sorry it done took me a while to answer youre message. Ive been in the county lockup for a couple weeks and they dont have no internets or nothin in there.

I think I get what youre offering. So I pose like Im a businesman and tell them that stuff costs 4000 a carton? I figure I can do that. Say, that Adequn stuff, can it treat humans also? My rear is hurtin like a sumbitch after that stint in lockup and I aint got no health insurince or nothin. If you figure it would do anythin for my hemmeroids, Id sure apprecite it if youd keep a little aside for me.

Anyhow my phone numbers (502) 696 7404 and addy is

Arnold Wanker
1808 Gonad Drive
Choadtown
KY 40012

Thanks
Arnold Wanker
JOY WINDY
Date: Wed, 25 Nov 2009

Dear Arnold,

Thanks for your concern. I really appreciate your interest and willingness to carry out this deal with me. This is what you should do, I will email to you the contacts of the Malaysian dealer of the products. I will also pass your contacts to our company and tell them you are the supplier. thereafter, our company directors will be contacting you to buy the products from you.

You will go to Malaysia and purchase out the product from the supplier at the rate of $2,200 per carton, and then sell to our company staff at the rate of $4,000 per carton. our company will pay cash for the products at the point of delivery there in Malaysia. We will share the profit, 60% for you and 40% for me.

Meanwhile, according to our company director, they need 40 cartons of the product. can you afford to buy the quantity from the supplier? if no, what is your capability? like how many cartons can you afford the money to buy? let me know If you are capable and interested in handling the deal depending on what I have stated above. And I will email to you the necessary contacts.

Regards,
Joy
Arnold Wanker

Date: Wed, 25 Nov 2009

Hi Joy,

Great to hear from yall again. Id still realy apprecite hearin from you about what that there medicin can do for my hemmeroids. Im havin to sit on one of them donut cushins. Im tellin ya, there swellin up like a bunch of grapes. Sorry if thats a little to much infermation right there.

Anyhow I dont know if yall have Thanksgivin out in Malaysia, but its tommorow here in Kentucky. Problem is that I go over to my uncles place at Thanksgivin and I already done spent most of my $$ on a bigass bottle of Gentleman Jack whisky which is what my uncle likes. If you like I can tell my buddies about this here deal and see if I can raise some more cash to get some of them cartons like you said. Or if you lend me money to buy the cartons and pay my way to Malaysia Ill give you 90 percent of the profits, hows that sound? Let me know what works for yall.

Thanks
Arnold
JOY WINDY
Date: Thu, 26 Nov 2009

Dear Arnold,

The Vaccine is used on our company products (Horses). I can not fully guarantee you if it could be used on human or not. that is left for a Veterinary doc to approve.

I will suggest you share with your 'buddies' and see if you can raise some cash as you said. if that is possible, then we will proceed from there.

Regards,
Joy

[Note: Here's the first place (and it's reassuringly early) where "Joy" deviates from script in demonstrating concern about Arnold's hemorrhoids. I always try to support the small-town, Mom & Pop type scams if I can.]

Arnold Wanker

Date: Fri, 27 Nov 2009

Hi Joy

Hope yall had a good Thanksgivin out there in Malaysia. We had some fun times here like allways, but theres a serius side to it also. I mean we toked up on some of cusin Travis's home grown weed and got wicked drunk on Uncle Bubbas corn whisky, but all the time we was remembrin them pillgrims that came over and gave there lives to kick them Mexicans out of the Allamo. Its stuff like that makes you proud to be American.

Thanks for the answer on the medicin. Im pretty much willin to give anythin a try right now. Can you send me over a sample of that Adeqin stuff so I can see if itll help with my butt? I promise I wont blame you or nothin if it dont work.

I talked to Travis about the deal last night. Turns out that with the money hes makin from sellin his weed, plus maybe takin out a second morgige on his doublewide, he figures he can raise about 11 grand right now. I done told him its a dead cert hes gonna get almost double his money back and hes cool with that. Dont know if thats enough to make the deal worth youre while tho.

Thanks
Arnold
JOY WINDY
Date: Sat, 28 Nov 2009

Dear Arnold,

Thanks for the updates. I can email to you a sample pic of the product.. but cant afford to send it to you via post as I'm still hospitalized. Happy you are having a wonderful time over there.

For a start, we can proceed to purchase about 5 cartons with the 11 grand your friend can raise. hope you can afford to travel to Malaysia for the transaction? I will email to you the contacts of the Malaysian dealer as soon as I get your response. Regards,
Joy
Arnold Wanker

Date: Sun, 29 Nov 2009

Hi Joy

Would love to see a pic of the product, pity about the sample, but maybe with the pic I can go to a vet here and see if he can track me down some of the stuff. Sounds like its expensiv but then I dont need enough of it for a horse, just enough to take the swellin down a little.

Sorry to hear yall are in hospital. If yall dont mind my askin, what happend? Im tellin ya, its a dangerus time of the year. My buddy Dave had to go to the ER on Friday cuz he put nitromethane in his mower to see how fast it would go but the engine done blown up on him. I done told him not to mess with that racin fuel, but too much corn whisky and you just aint gonna listen.

How much does it cost to get to Malaysia? I went to Virginia on vacation this summer and that aint to bad, but then that was cuz I got a good deal on the RV rental. I have a feelin it costs more to get to Malaysia. Is there any way your dealer over there can comp my travel? Otherwise maybe Im gonna have to hit up Travis again cuz hes the mack daddy with the big bucks right now. Thanks
Arnold
JOY WINDY
Date: Mon, 30 Nov 2009

Dear Arnold,

Please the attached file for a sample pic of the product. I will advice you dont use the vaccine for your swollen leg. I can help you ask any of the doctors here what proper medication required for your injury. wouldn't want to feel responsible if it this vaccine add to your injury instead of curing you. hope you understand my point. so I will ask the doctors here and seek their advice ok.

I don't know how much it would cost you to Malaysia from the states. You can check online on the airlines and find out the exact amount. You do not need to burg your friend anymore, you can purchase your ticket from the money he has given you already.

You told me he's willing to give you $11,000 for the business right? and $11,000 is for 5 cartons of the Vaccine. so you can buy 4 cartons first instead of 5. then make use of the remaining amount for your expenses. hope my suggestion does make sense to you.

When probably can you be able to fly to Malaysia for the transaction? Regards,
Joy

[Note: I don't know what to make of this. It may be an actual product photo. Or maybe it's photoshopped. There's only so much you can do with a 3.3 K JPEG.]

Arnold Wanker

Date: Tue, 1 Dec 2009

Hi Joy,

Thanks for the pic of the product. Just so were clear on it, it aint exactly my leg thats swollen. I got a bad case of hemmeroids is what it is, and theyve bin flarin up real bad ever since the last time I was in the lockup. You said the Adeqin stuff is a vaccine, does that mean that its got to be injected with a needle? Bein honest with you, I cant exactly see me lettin anyone go near that end of me with a needle right now. Im sure you understand if youd ever had a case of the hemmeroids like this one. Can you ask the docs if theres a seppositery or pill instead?

With the money and all, cusin Travis aint exactly given me the money yet, but he done told me thats how much hes able to raise. Some of it is from his weed that hes sold so thats all cash, but the rest hes gonna get from a loan on his doublewide.

All this brings me to another idea. Hows the airport security in Malaysia? I was figurin that if I cant get all the money together and we need to hurry, I could do a part trade of some of Travises weed for a couple cartons of the vaccine. How much does a pound of weed sell for out there, ballpark?

Thanks
Arnold
JOY WINDY
Date: Tue, 8 Dec 2009

Hi Joy

Aint heard from yall for a while. Hope you aint sick in the hospital again. Travis got his loan aproved so he now has the $11000 in hand. Let me know if the deals still on.

Thanks
Arnold

[Note: At this point I was worried I'd scared her off with talk of Travis' weed. This was a pity, because "Joy" has an IP that traces back to Malaysia, so I was hoping at least I could waste some of her time at an airport later.]

JOY WINDY
Date: Fri, 11 Dec 2009

Dear Arnold,

Sorry for my late response, I under gone surgery last 2days. now feeling much better. how are you doing? hope all is well with you over there. The deal is still on as we planned. since your friend has gotten the loan, when do you intend to fly to Malaysia and carry out this deal? if you are ready, do let me know so I can furnish you details of the supplier in Malaysia..

Thanks,
Joy

[Note: Aha! Game on!]

Arnold Wanker

Date: Sun, 13 Dec 2009

Hi Joy,

Good to hear from yall again - I was startin to get worried. Its great to hear that youre surgery went well and all. By buddy Daves doin better also after what hapened with the mower and the nitromethane. They said he had second degree burns on his groin so hes been wrapped in bandages for the last few weeks so as his nads can heal up.

Ive been on the Interweb doin some reserch on Malaysia. So Im suposed to be flyin in to Koala Lumper? Would aprecite it if you could send me the details of that supplier. I was figurin its much easier to get there flyin from New York, so Ill go ahead and take a road trip to drop in on an old school buddy that lives up there and fly out from there. Looks like I can do it as early as next week cuz the tickets go for about 2 grand anyway, and Im travelin on Travis's dollars.

Thanks
Arnold
JOY WINDY
Date: Mon, 14 Dec 2009

Dear Arnold,

Yes, you are right. you will land in Kuala Lumpur. when you arrive there, the supplier can guide you. It will be pleasure working with you, hoping to have a long term business relationship with you. Below are the informations about the product and the supplier's contacts.

Product name: Adequan
Description: Adequan 1.m injection r/x equine
Quantity: (10 bottles per carton)
Price Quotation: $2,200 per Carton

Supplier's contacts:
Name: Madam Jamilah Intan Abdulah
Phone: +601 2980 1640
E-mail: jamilah_distribution@yahoo.com

Contact her and confirm the availability of the above named product. write back to me as soon as you contact her. also ask her the quantity she have in stock. it will be my pleasure to have you handle this business for a long time pending on your co-operation towards this first deal.

Regards,
Joy
Arnold Wanker

Arnold obligingly contacts Jamilah the "supplier".

Date: Tue, 15 Dec 2009
Subject: Horse medicin
To: jamilah_distribution@yahoo.com

Hi Jamilah

Im workin with Joy Windy to try to get hold of some horse medicin called Adequn. Can you get it for me at $2200 a carton? Also, how much of it do yall have right now?

Thanks
Arnold Wanker
Arnold Wanker

Date: Tue, 15 Dec 2009

Hi Joy

I just done sent Jamillah a mesage askin about the medicin. Ill let yall know when she gets back to me and how much of it shes got. Then I go ahead and get the flight all set up and everythin.

Ive been lookin at flights some more and it looks like I can get a good deal out of San Fransisco on Cathy Pacific. My cousin Bills a hair stylist livin out in San Fran, so I can go visit him. Funny thing is, hes still livin with Larry, the same room mate he had when he lived here in town. Small world aint it?

Thanks
Arnold
Jamilah Intan Abdulah
Date: Tue, 15 Dec 2009
Subject: Re: Quotation

Dear Sir,

Thank you for your inquiry.

Date: 15/12/09

Ref.: PVIT/NZBV/8802/09v
I take pleasure to append below my price quotation and the terms and conditions of sales for your perusal and kind consideration.

Description of Product :
Adequan 1.m Injection Rx/Equine 10ml - Adequan 1.m. is recommended for the intramuscular treatment of non-infectious degenerative and/or traumatic joint dysfunction and associated lameness of the carpal and hock joints in horses..

Ingredents : Each vail contains 500mg PSGAG in water for injection, Polysulfacted, Glycosa minoglysan (PSGAG) solution. Instructions :
Dossage and administration, the recommended close Adequan in horse is 500mg (1vial) once a week for five week. do not mix adequan with other vaccine or solvents. Single dose vial discard unused portion. store at controlled room temperature 18-25 degrees C (64-77 degree F)

Side Effect :
Side effect that occur including transistent pain at the side of the injection, transistent diarrhea, and abnormal bleeding.

Price:
USD $2,200. per carton.
($1 Dollar = 3.4 Ringgit Malaysia)

Price quoted is ex-stock Kuala Lumpur (FOB) in United States Dollars.
Availability of stock is subject to goods remaining unsold.
Promotion Discount of $15 from each carton if you are purchasing 20 cartons above.

Packing/Quantity:
Goods are packed in 10 vials per carton
1 vial is 10ml

Mode Of Payment
Cash On delivery (C.O.D)

STOCK AVAILABLE
Up to 100packs in Stock available and ready for supply.

Assuring you of our prompt attention and services at all times.

Regards,

Jamilah Intan Abdulah
No 2 Jalan Bandaran, 88675
Kota Kinabalu Sabah, Malaysia.
+6012 9801 640
Email:jamilah_distribution@yahoo.com

[Note: This is where it gets interesting. "Jamilah" has an IP in Singapore, as opposed to "Joy" and "Brian Johnsons" (who we'll meet later) that are using the same Malaysian IP. It leads me to believe there are actually two separate people running this scam. Hmm.]

JOY WINDY
Date: Wed 12/16/09

Dear Arnold,

How are you doing today? hope you are feeling much better on your swollen leg(s). Thanks for the updates. I'm looking forward to more updates from you.

Warm regards,
Joy
JOY WINDY
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 2009

Dear Arnold,

How have you been doing? haven't heard nor heard from you again since your last email, hope all is well with you and your family over there. Just want to know, what are your arrangments? have you confirmed from the supplier? please keep me updated.

Regards,
Joy
Arnold Wanker

Date: Saturday, December 19, 2009

Dear Joy

Sorry its bin a while since I last wrote. Damn possums done chewed thru my cable conection and its been a couple of days to get it fixed. Anyhow, I got a reply from Jamillah and she said she had 100 cartons ready at $2200 each so I think were in good shape. I guess the next step is for me to get myself out to San Fran and then set up a flight to Koala Lumper, right?

Thanks
Arnold
JOY WINDY
Date: Fri, 18 Dec 2009

Dear Arnold,

Thanks for the updates. Yes, you will land at KLIA (Kuala Lumpur International Airport). then once you arrive there, you contact Madam Jamillah and purchase the products from her. what date exactly will you be flying to Malaysia?

Also, keep in good communication with Madam Jamillah to make sure she reserves the quantity for us. Most importantly dear, I just gave my clients (Th buyers) your contacts today and told them you are the person they should contact for the supply. so please make sureyou dont make any mistake in qouting the price. $4,000 per carton.

Regards,
Joy
Arnold Wanker

Date: Sunday, December 20, 2009

Dear Joy,

OK, looks like were all set then. Like I said, Im gonna head out to San Fransisco and stay with my cousin Bill and his room mate for a while. Ill get the flight set up there, probably give Bill some cash and put the flight on his credit card, cuz my limits not high enough. Ill send a mesage to Madam Jamillah asking for 4 cartons of the stuff, then Ill let you know as soon as the flights all set.

Thanks
Arnold
Arnold Wanker

Date: Sun, 20 Dec 2009

Hi Madam Jamillah

Can you go ahead and hold 4 cartons of the stuff for me. Im workin on settin up a flight to Malaysia and Ill let you know when its all set. Should be a few days cuz I got to get myself out to San Fransisco first.

Thanks
Arnold
Jamilah Intan Abdulah
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 2009

Dear Sir,

We are pleased hearing from you again. I will make the quantity available as you have requested. Kindly let me know the exact date you will be in Malaysia for the purchase.

To confirm your order, Kindly make a deposite payment of 1 carton which should be $2,200 and the remaining $6,600 at the place of delivery after you arrive. This is to confirm your order and reserve the quantity for you.

Here are our bank account details:

Name: E BO TRADING & SERVICES
Bank: AMBANK (M) BERHAD
Accnt No: 0142022004602
Swift Code: ARBKMYKL
Address: 59 & 61, Jalan Ambong 2 Kepong Baru, 52100 Kepong, Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.

Thanks,
Jamilah Intan Abdulah
Brian Bruce Johnsons
Subject: Urgent Reply
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 2009

Atten: Mr. Arnold Wanker,

We the staffs of Valley Vet Veterinary Group are hereby extending our greetings to you and appreciating your contribution towards the supplying of Adequan to our company through Miss. Joy Windy who is our supplier.

Ms. Windy who was in charge of supplying Adequan 1.m Injection R/X Equine (Horse Treatment Vaccine) to our company, due to her conditions she cannot be able to travel to Malaysia to purchase the product and supply to our company, therefore our Chief Executive Manager have appointed me Brian Bruce Jonhsons to travel to Malaysia and purchase the products. We asked Ms. Windy to give us your contacts to enable us place an order for the product because we cannot wait until she recover, because we are running out of stock in our farm and we need the product urgently.

So, I hereby place an order of 40cartons of Adequan 1.m Injection Rx/Equine. Our last purchase which Ms. Windy supplied to us before she met with a car accident was $4,000.00 (Four Thousand United States American dollars per carton) hope the price still remains the same. As soon as I receive your confirmation about the order, I will send to you the Purchasing Order. Thank you for your anticipated co-operation.

Regards,
Brian Bruce Johnsons
Procurement Manager.
+447031824948

Valley Veterinary Group
Pangbourne Veterinary
Horseshoe Road
Pangbourne
Reading
RG8 7JQ

Scam-o-Note: The real Valley Veterinary Group have nothing to do with any of this, and probably don't even know about it.

So, to recap, "Joy" has asked Arnold to buy what he thinks will be Adequan from "Jamila" at $2200/carton, but to tell the poor innocent (imaginary) Vet "Brian" that it cost $4000.

"Joy" starts things off. "Jamila" is the closer. "Brian" may be "Joy" using a different e-mail account. "Jamila" may or may not be a woman; is probably not Malaysian.

They hope Arnold will go along with this dishonest (if imaginary) scheme and fork out real money for nothing - because there is no Adequan, no Jamila, no Joy, got it? Even if there is a Brian at the (real) Vet practice, the scammers have simply copied the details of the firm off their web site, is that clear? Don't make us come over there.

JOY WINDY
Date: Mon, 21 Dec 2009

Dear Arnold,

Once again, thanks for the updates. I got a call from our company today, the procurement manager told me that they will need the products urgently because they are running out of stock. so I hope you finish every of your arrangements as soon as possible. If possible, I will like you to carry out the transaction before Christmas (25th). hope you can make it.

Regards,
Joy
Arnold Wanker

Date: Tue, 22 Dec 2009

Hi Jamillah

Im on the road right now, in Las Vegas. Should get in to San Fransisco tonight, then I can borrow my cousins credit card and get the flight all set up. Ill let you know as soon as its all set. Sorry all my money is in cash so I cant make a deposit but I should be over there in a couple days anyway. Can you meet me at Koala Lumper airport? Its just that I dont exactly know my way around Malaysia or speak the langage or anythin.

Thanks
Arnold

[Note: Oops. A clumsy attempt from Jamilah to get some $$$ up front. Easily deflected there, and she didn't seem to protest much.]

Arnold Wanker

Date: Tue, 22 Dec 2009
To: Valleyvetvgroup@mail2Farmer.com

Hi Brian

Thanks for the message. Looks like all Ill have is 4 cartons, but the price is $4000 each like you said.

Arnold Wanker
Arnold Wanker

Date: Tue, December 22, 2009

Hi Joy

Im on the road in Las Vegas right now, should get into San Fran tonite. Then Ill borrow Bills credit card and set up the flight. I done told the procurment dude that Ive got 4 cartons for $4000 each, and I asked Jamillah to hook me up with 4 cartons. So it looks like were all set as soon as the flights sorted and all.

Thanks
Arnold
JOY WINDY
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 2009

Dear Arnold,

Thanks for the updates. So far, I think your arrangements are ok. Just to inform you dear, I will be going for the final scaning this weekend Friday. after that, then I will know when possibly I can be discharged. I wish you a safe journey to Malaysia. Please keep me updated with every development.

Regards,
Joy
Jamilah Intan Abdulah
Date: Tue, 22 Dec 2009

Dear Sir,

I dont know if I will be opportuned to pick you up from the airport, as I dont know the exact date and time you are arriving here. So it would please me if you can let me know your flight schedule and time of arrival so I can make an arrangement to pick you.

Thanks,
Jamilah
Brian Bruce Johnsons
From: Valleyvetvgroup@mail2Farmer.com
Subject: Re: RE: Urgent Confirmation
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 2009

Attn: Mr. Arnold Wanker,

I'm very pleased to know that you have the product available and ready for supply. Like I stated in my previous mail, we need 40cartons, but I can purchase the 4 cartons first as we are running out of stock and we need the product urgently. I will like to confirm from you if I can fly down to Malaysia on Saturday the 26th or Sunday 27th of December 2009 to purchase the product from you. If that date is convenient for you, do let me know so that I can proceed to book my flight.

Have a nice day.

Regards,
Brian Bruce Johnsons
Procurement Manager.
+447031824948

[Note: So "Brian" and "Joy" are presumably one and the same. But why is "Jamillah" (I'm assuming from the IP) a different person? Do they have a law in Malaysia about the maximum number of hours any one person can work a scam shift?]

Arnold Wanker

Date: Wed, 23 Dec 2009

Hi Jamillah

So I got into San Fran OK last night and set up the flight using Bills credit card. Im flying out of San Fran tommorow at 3.45 pm, and landing in Koala Lumper Saturday 12/26 at 2.05 pm. The airlines called Emirates and the flight number into Koala Lumper is 346. So it looks like Ill be spendin Christmas travelin, but thats OK, hopefully the airline will lay on some turkey and free drinks so I should be all set. Hope you can meet me at the airport, Ill be carryin the cash so I can buy the cartons off you.

Thanks
Arnold
Arnold Wanker

Date: Wed, December 23, 2009

Hi Joy

Hope the scaning goes OK. Dont know what that is, does it hurt? Anyway hope you get all fixed up. Anyway Im in San Fran now staying at Bills appartment. I tell you this city is crowded, Bill and Larry only have one bedroom cuz I guess thats all the space they can afford. I gotta admit they sure know how to decorate though.

Anyway I got the flight all set up using Bills credit card. Im flying out of San Fran tommorow at 3.45 pm and landing in Koala Lumper Saturday at 2.05 pm. I let Jamillah know my itinary so Im hopin she can meet me at the airport there. Im flying back leavin 7.30 pm on Monday. Looks like Ill be spendin Christmas in the air but thats OK cuz Ive got a long layover in Dubai both ways so at least I can get some drinks in.

Regards
Arnold
Arnold Wanker

To: valleyvetvgroup@mail2farmer.com
Subject: RE: Urgent Confirmation
Date: Wed, 23 Dec 2009

Hi Bruce

Yup, that should work. Im flyin in to Koala Lumper arrivin Saturday 12/26 at 2.05 pm, and leavin Monday 12/28 at 7.30 pm.

Thanks
Arnold
Arnold Wanker

Date: Thu, 24 Dec 2009

Hi Jamillah

OK so were fixin to leave for San Fran airport in a few. Like I said, Im on Emirates flight 346 arrivin 2.05 pm on Saterday 12/28. Im bringin the cash with me, so hope to see you at the airport in Koala Lumper?

Thanks
Arnold

[Note: A valid itinerary, and at a somewhat reasonable price, thanks to the wonders of internet travel sites.]

Jamilah Intan Abdulah
Date: Thu, 24 Dec 2009

Dear Sir,

I will be tied up with some other appointments by the time you are arriving in Malaysia, but I will be sending my assistant to pick you up from the airport. She will be waiting for you at the arrival hall with a banner bearing your name "Arnold Wanker". have a safe and successful journey to Malaysia. looking forward to meet you.

Thanks,
Jamilah
JOY WINDY
Date: Thu, 24 Dec 2009

Hi Dear,

Just want to tell you, once you arrive in Malaysia. try to get yourself a Malaysian sim card, email to me the number and also pass it on to Brian so that he could contact you when he arrives there. this is very important.. You can ask Madam Jamilah to assist you on that.

Regards,
Joy
Arnold Wanker

Date: Fri, December 25, 2009

Hi Joy

So Im in Dubai right now. Merry Christmas and all. Theres this awesome Irish bar here that serves Irish coffee, so Im feelin pretty good right now. With the phone thing, my phone aint gettin no signal right now. Bill told me somethin about needin a try band or some such. Anyhow, if it still aint workin when I get to Malaysia, I can always get a cheap phone there or maybe just give you the number of the hotel I book into.

Thanks
Arnold

[Note: Yes, you _are_ allowed to drink in the airport at Dubai. I looked it up.]

Arnold Wanker

Date: Fri, 25 Dec 2009
Subject: Re: Quotation
To: jamilah_distribution@yahoo.com

Hi Jamillah

OK, sounds good. Ill look out for my name in the arrival hall.

Thanks
Arnold
JOY WINDY
Date: Fri, 25 Dec 2009

Dear Arnold,

Glad you could still enjoy yourself while on transit. Your idea about the number is fine. but if necessary, then ask Madam Jamilah to assist you and get a mobile sim card number. have a nice trip and keep me updated.

Regards,
Joy
Jamilah Intan Abdulah
Date: Fri, 25 Dec 2009
Subject: Apologies

Dear Sir,

I believe you are already in Malaysia by the time you are reading this message. My assistant is at the airport waiting for you, though she was a bit late to your arrival time. please contact her on this number 0129032520 so she could pick you up from anywhere you are now. I'm sorry for any inconveniences caused.

Thanks,
Jamilah

[Note: Hmm. The delicate dance of deception. Both of us are now trying to figure out if the other one actually showed up at the airport.]

Brian Bruce Johnsons
From: Valleyvetvgroup@mail2Farmer.com
Date: Fri, 25 Dec 2009

Attn: Mr. Arnold Wanker,

I will be leaving UK to Malaysia today evening 26th and to be arriving there tomorrow morning 27th of December 2009. I hope to purchase the 4 cartons from you when I come there. Please how can I contact you as soon as I arrive in Malaysia? because I'm due to be flying back to UK on Tuesday morning 29th. looking forward to meet you.

Have a nice day.

Regards,
Brian Bruce Johnsons
Procurement Manager.
Jamilah Intan Abdulah
Date: Sat, 26 Dec 2009

Dear Sir,

How is it? my assistant has been at the airport since 2:30pm waiting for you but all to no avail. unfortunately, there is no contact number to reach you. could you please let me know what are arrangements? are you really in Malaysia?

Thanks,
Jamilah
Arnold Wanker

Date: Sat, 26 Dec 2009

Hi Jamillah

The flight got in a bit early so I hung out in the arrival hall for a while but didnt see anyone so I left to hit up the airport bar. Came back later on but still didnt see my name or anything. Im typin this from the internets kiosk at the airport, and Im lookin to get a room at a hotel called Pan Paciffic, it looks pretty nice and its right here in the airport. Trouble with tryin to call me is that my cell aint workin out here, I think it needs to be one of them try bands or somethin and it aint. You should be able to get me at the hotel though.

Thanks
Arnold
Arnold Wanker

To: valleyvetvgroup@mail2farmer.com
Subject: RE: Urgent Confirmation
Date: Sat, 26 Dec 2009

Hi Bruce

Trouble is my cell phone aint workin here, but Im lookin to get a room at a hotel called Pan Paciffic right here at the airport in Koala Lumper. So you can get a hold of me through the hotel. Hope to meet up with you soon.

Thanks
Arnold
JOY WINDY
Date: Sat, December 26, 2009

Hi Joy

So Im here in Malaysia. There was some screwup with meeting Jamillah or her assistant, I guess they got there late and Id gone by the time they showed up, then I came back later and they must of left by then. Anyway Ive been hittin up the hotel bar till it closed, now Im lookin to get myself a room at this hotel called Pan Paciffic, its the middle of the night now and theys still tryin to figure it out at the hotel. Still havin trouble gettin used to the time zone but Ill be doin better once I get some shuteye.

Thanks
Arnold
JOY WINDY
Date: Sun, 27 Dec 2009

Dear Arnold,

I'm honestly worried and restless here. I was waiting the whole day yesterday to get updates from you, but nothing was heard from you. Brian is already there in Malaysia. He called me as soon as he arrived there this morning and told me he has no way of contacting you because he doesn't have your contact number. I did told you to get yourself a mobile number as soon as you arrive there.

Have you been able to meet Jamilah or her assistant by now? you need to in case you haven't. why dont you contact Jamilah via phone and then inform her where you are so she could fetch you. dont get yourself stressed out by drinking too much. just focus and do what you are there for. I expect to get a good news from you.

Regards,
Joy

[Note: I can't ever remember having become stressed out by drinking too much. Passed out and/or carried out, perhaps.]

Brian Bruce Johnsons
Date: Sun, 27 Dec 2009

Attn: Mr. Arnold Wanker,
I arrived here since 1pm Malaysia time. I was hoping to meet you today as soon as I arrived, but couldn't get any clue on how to contact you. I'm already somewhere in Kuala Lumpur city. So I will like you to meet me up tomorrow in the city. Please bring the 4 cartons along while coming. You can reach me on this number 0146301299. give me a call as soon as possible so we could discuss on how and where to meet in Kuala Lumpur.
Have a nice day.

Regards,
Brian Bruce Johnsons
Arnold Wanker

Date: Sun, December 27, 2009

Hi Joy

I been passed out all day in the hotel. I reckon it coulda been the ice cubes in my drinks. Bill done told me that the water in forrin countries can make you mighty sick, and I shoulda listend. Anyhow I aint herd nothin from Jamillah since I told her I was goin to the hotel. Id be happy if someone would come down here to the Pan Paciffic and git er done cuz like I said I aint feelin to good and Im about ready to bail right now.
Thanks
Arnold
Arnold Wanker

Date: Sun, 27 Dec 2009

Hi Bruce

Glad you made it to Malaysia OK. Im in the Pan Paciffic hotel here at the airport. Sorry I cant call you but my cell aint workin and I cant figure out how to dial from this hotel phone. Im havin supply side issues here, will let you know as soon as I can get the cartons to you. I also got some good weed here that my cousin Travis home grew, so I can let you have some of that if youre into it. If you aint, just forget I asked, cuz I know how some people get upity about drugs and stuff.

Thanks
Arnold

[Note: Stony silence on all fronts now. I think they may be a tad unhappy.]

Arnold Wanker

Date: Tue, December 29, 2009

Joy,

OK so I finally made it back into the US. I thought I was gonna be spendin some time in a Malaysian jail instead. I never did hear nothin from Jamillah, but Im figurin it coulda been her or that dude Bruce from the vet company that turned me in to the cops. So I got picked up by security at the airport when I was fixin to get my flight back. They searched all my clothes and bags, and even went prospectin with the glove, if you know what Im sayin. They didnt find nothin, cuz Id smoked it all by then anyway, but someone must of tipped them. Anyhow, then the cops got askin what I was doin in Malaysia, so I told them all about you, Jamillah, and that dude Bruce. They looked through all my emails and wrote a bunch of stuff down, and the whole time they was laughin at me and tellin me that yall were goin to rip me off. Now I aint stupid and I told them I was just helpin yall out with a bisiness deal, but they werent havin none of it. Dont take no offense now but I tell you, yall got some strange people out there in Malaysia. Next time yall are goin to have to find someone else to help you out, cuz I surely aint goin back there again in a hurry.

Arnold
JOY WINDY
Date: Tue, 29 Dec 2009

Hi Arnold,

I have read all your stories and it's not funny to me. I have contacted Jamilah and she told me all her stories. "her assistant waited for you at the airport and couldn't see you. they later sent you an email and give you her assistant's number for delivery of the products, but you never called up". Brian also narrated his own story, "he waited there and also emailed you his number in Malaysia so you could call him, but you also didnt call him".

before you went to Malaysia, I told you to get a number once you arrive there and send to me for easy communication, but you never did. so who is to blame? no body was able to contact you because you didn't provide any number, even the hotel where you lodged in, has a number, but you could give a number to reach you. anyways, to be honest with you, I fell a whole disappointed with all these. now I'm facing the consequences with our company.

Take care,
Joy

[Note: And this was an unexpected bonus. I didn't expect to hear anything back at this point.]

Arnold Wanker

Date: Wed, December 30, 2009

Hi Joy

Well, I aim to amuse, but I guess I missed the mark this time if yall are tellin me it aint funny.

Just curious, but how was this deal goin to go down anyway if Id called them like they said? Was "Jamillah" goin to sell me 4 bottles of water with a picture of a horse on the front for $8800, then "Brian Johnstons" never shows up? Or did you plan to do it the old fashion way where some of your goons just turn up, beat the crap outta me, and take the cash? Like I said, Im just wonderin.

Please let me know.

Thanks
Arnold

[Note: And there it presumably ends. It's not as if I really expected an answer to my question, but I thought an incoherent death threat was the least they could do, considering.]

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